Worry

I purchased an electrified urethral sound online. I knew it was a stupid idea, but it got me all horned up. When it arrived, I sterilized it fairly well with hydrogen peroxide. I sterilized the tip of my penis, my hands, and anything I might be touching. Then I coated the flexible sound with coconut oil, and slipped it into my peehole.

I hadn’t stuck anything in my peehole for years. It stung a little going in, but I knew from experience that I’d get over that. It went in maybe 12 inches, and felt very nice as it was stimulating my prostate and the first sphincter as it passed through. But it wouldn’t go through the second sphincter. Weird I know, but it just wouldn’t. I don’t know if that’s because it was a little too large in diameter, or maybe not flexible enough, or maybe it just wasn’t taking the right passage. I’m smart enough not to push too hard, so after a very enjoyable few minutes of trying, I finally pulled it out.

It was followed by several drips of blood. In fact, the blood didn’t stop coming out of my dick, drip by drip, maybe one every 30 seconds, for a few minutes. I’ve had a little urethral blood before, but nothing like this. It had me quite worried.

I had purposely started the session with a fairly full bladder, so I’d be able to flush out anything introduced by the sound. When I peed, the stinging sensation was intensified ten-fold. It wasn’t the first time for that, either. It stung so much that I had to squeeze off the flow of urine for a few seconds, then resume. It stung so much that my legs involuntarily twitched.

I had forgotten how intense the sting can be. Now, I was worried!

As it turned out, for the next day, every time I peed, a little splotch of blood came out first. For the next three days, the sting was pretty intense. Finally, it cleared up.

But it might not have. I could easily have punctured something inside. I could easily have introduced a deadly infection. It can be very hard to fight an infection in the bladder. It just isn’t designed for that kind of problem. I could have scraped the inside of the urethra enough to cause a stricture, a narrowing, at some point in my future. Maybe I’ve already done that, but I think not. I hope not. (See, the worry is still there!)

It’s not the only stupid thing I’ve done. One time I was playing with a guy who stuck a finger in my ass. It was very nice. I asked for a second finger. Then a third, and then a fourth. After a while, he took them out, then told me my anus was staying dilated. That worried me, but after a few minutes it returned to normal.

I met a girl who was anorexic. On top of everything else, she had very skinny fingers. I figured she could slip her little finger into my peehole past the first knuckle. She pushed and pushed. It was hurting, yet wonderful all at the same time. Suddenly, pop, it slipped in. That scared her, so she quickly pulled it all the way out. That fucking hurt! Two days later, I noticed something like cum at the tip of my penis, and a mild itch. Sure enough, I had an urethral infection. It did clear up in time, but that was pretty stupid, don’t you think?

I was playing with a guy who really insisted that I anally fuck him. Normally, that’s not my thing, but in this case I did, without a rubber. The chances of getting sick being the fucker, rather than the fuckee, (top rather than bottom) are rare. Still, I worried about that for years.

Then there was the time I was alone in a hotel room at a convention. I was super-horny, and ordinary jerking off wasn’t going to be fully satisfactory, or so I was thinking at the time. I looked around for some sort of sex toys. All there was in the room was a tapered pen, and shampoo. I figured I could have some fun with that. Washing the pen in tap water – hoping the chlorine would be sufficient to kill bacteria – and it’s mostly not, I then coated the pen in shampoo, and started slipping it into my peehole. I got it in maybe six inches, and it started to sting. I knew my urethra wasn’t liking the shampoo, so I pulled the pen out.

But that wasn’t the end of it. The sting got worse and worse, and worse! It became so bad I couldn’t stand upright. When I had to pee an hour later, it took me 20 minutes, letting out a few excruciatingly painful drops at a time. It took three days to fully recover. I attended the rest of the convention bent forward, because it stung so bad I couldn’t stand upright. I told everyone I had a ‘sore back.’

I once played with a woman who wanted me to fist her vagina. I never got it all the way in, but when I had several fingers in there, I couldn’t find her cervix. Where was it? I worried about her until I learned she had had a hysterectomy.

And that reminds me of when I was still quite young. I was playing with my fingers inside of one of my first girlfriends, and found a sort of hard lump. I was sure she had undiagnosed cancer. I didn’t know what to tell her, and ended up saying nothing. A couple of days later, I suddenly realized that was her cervix I was feeling. Geez!

During my earlier years when I had been sounding my penis quite often, I got the bright idea to detach the nozzle from the flexible hose in my bathroom, turn the water flow down very low, and squirt water into my bladder. This, too, I had done a few times before. It never hurt, but always worried me for several days after, until I was pretty sure I hadn’t introduced any infection. I had the mistaken notion that the chlorine in household water is sufficient to kill bacteria in that water.

That evening, I had fun filling and emptying my bladder three or four times. I was intrigued by playing with different temperatures, and noticing how my body could react for a few minutes with fever-like symptoms.

I had forgotten all about it until about two days later. When I jerked off, I noticed a little blood in my cum. It was only a slight pink streak, but it did scare me! The next time I jerked off, same thing, with a bit more blood. By now, it was about three days since my foolish experiment. My left testicle started aching, and it wouldn’t go away. Pretty soon, both balls were hurting, and swelling up.

Before it was over, the infection had spread from my bladder to my prostate and into my testicles. They swelled up to the size of tennis balls.

Or more specifically, I believe it was the epididymis, the tissue carrying the spermatic cords and blood vessels that mostly swelled. Maybe the balls swelled too. They were certainly too tender to go feeling around, trying to figure it out. I didn’t know it could all be so huge! The infection lasted two weeks, during which I was unable to work. In fact, all I could do for several of those days was lay in bed and moan. Finally, it cleared up almost entirely. To this day, I have a few hard nodules in my scrotum. I believe they are ‘hydroceles,’ liquid-filled bubbles. They are harmless, but a bit embarrassing. I have to tell anyone who is going to give me a ball massage that they shouldn’t worry if they find those bumps in my ballsack. They’ve been there for years.

Here comes the worst one of all: I have a friend who really enjoyed anal play.

He liked big, long dildoes, he liked fist fucking. I was very happy to accommodate him. There’s something about getting your whole hand into a person’s body. But it is very risky. We did that several times. About ten inches in, there’s a restriction. I believe it’s where the top of the rectum meets the descending colon. He wanted me to force my way past that, claiming it would stretch alright. We’ve seen videos where men fist each other all they past the elbow, probably just below the recipient’s heart. Can one feel the heartbeat like that? While my fist was deeply buried in my friend, I tried to feel for certain organs. I wanted to feel the back of his bladder, his kidneys, and so on. But it all felt the same, except his backbone, That was quite prominent. I wasn’t so sure about pushing past that restriction at the top of the rectum. It felt like I could literally burst his intestine, so I never pushed as hard as he would have liked.

This guy had a 36-inch (nearly one meter) long flexible dildo that he could take all the way. The thing must have curved around his whole large intestine and ended up near his appendix. That’s certainly not for me, but I very much enjoyed inserting that all the way into him.

One day, I called him to see if he wanted to play. Now, he and I usually played with more innocuous things, like glans rubbing, extreme edging and extended orgasms. On this occasion, he explained he couldn’t play. He was in the hospital.

He told me the whole story. He had given himself a huge enema. Something he’s done many times before. He held it in, and went into the kitchen to make dinner. On this occasion, it started to hurt, really hurt. So he went to the bathroom and let it all out. But the pain got worse, not better. When he couldn’t stand it any more, he went to the hospital where they discovered he had ruptured his colon.

He underwent emergency surgery. When he woke up, he discovered they had given him a colostomy. That’s where your intestine is disconnected from your rectum, and brought out on the front of your belly to empty into a plastic bag. Not good! This has been more than six months ago. Supposedly, they can reverse his colostomy, but for some people it’s permanent. In any case, he’ll have huge medical expenses, and will have scars on his belly for life.

You might ask, why am I telling you all this?

I want to point out that worry is a good thing to a point. It keeps us from doing stupid things out of horniness. Things that could get us killed. The only problem is it usually kicks in after we have done something stupid. That worry can last for days, and is hugely disproportionate to the joy you had while you were doing the stupid thing.

So, please remember these stories, and just don’t do the stupid things in the first place. Once you’ve had an orgasm, it doesn’t really matter how you got there, so please have your orgasms in safe ways.

Here is my penis today (photographed to look bigger than it actually is). As you can see, it’s turned out alright for me. If you heed this warning, it will turn out OK for you also.