I was just what my parents expected me to be when I announced I was going to become an actor. In short order I became barely employed, and struggling to pay the rent on an apartment shared by two other struggling actors. Perhaps I should have been more upbeat about the whole thing, but I was really starting to think I should move back to Ohio.
Sure, it was fun to tell my friends back home that it was 70 degrees and sunny on days when they were shoveling a foot of snow. But at what price? Maybe switching my major from graphic arts to acting, and then dropping out of college altogether, to take up acting, wasn’t such a great idea.
I’d get a part in a TV commercial, and be on top of the world for a month. But then, when nothing else came along, I’d sink back down. I finally landed a job at Payless Shoe Store which I hated. Oh, the company is good, but smelling all that plastic and rubber for eight hours a day had to be bad for my health, right? Even with the job, twice now, my dad had to send me the balance of what I owed on my share of our $2,000/month rent.
My roommates were cool. They were just like me, starving actors. When I moved in, I took the place of a guy named Fred who I never met. He’s legendary in the household. He had been one of us. He got a part for a single episode in a sitcom that took off. I mean, suddenly he had a contract to be a main performer at $200,000 year, and he moved out. His legacy probably kept the three of us in poverty. Instead of going back to Ohio, I, and the other guys, James from New York, and Kevin from Oregon, kept going to auditions, and hoping to have something like Fred’s success.
Every now and then, one of us would get something. Usually a tiny part in a TV commercial, or just an extra on a large studio shoot. If it was a speaking part, the other two guys were envious, but also happy for the guy who got the part.
The rule in the house was that if one of us had a girl to bring home, the other two were willing to stay out until 11pm. That seldom happened for me and James, but it seemed Keven hooked up with gorgeous girls every week or two. None of them stuck. He didn’t seem the kind to settle down. I got lucky occasionally. There was Janice who was a bit heavyset, but a lovely girl, really. I’d have her over from time to time. She was wild in bed. She even said she’d like to try buttfucking, something I’d never done, but we hadn’t quite got around to that yet. The thing was, I just couldn’t spend time with her. Sure, she was very fuckable, but that was about it. In my opinion, she just talked too much. And there was Cindy. Was, being the operative word. She came over once. After some hesitation and dancing around, we fucked, and it was great, but then her old boyfriend came back, and that was that.
Kevin, sitting on the sofa and looking at Backstage or one of those websites, quietly said, “Here’s a weird one.”
James and I perked up our ears. He went on. Evidently someone was going to do a remake of the classic pornographic but mainstream movie “Caligula.” There wasn’t much information. The post insinuated that there’d be some nudity, but of course, if you’ve seen Caligula, you know that there is indeed some nudity. I was guessing this movie would be more ‘tasteful,’ or more mainstream than the original. It was pretty sick, and I mean that in more ways than one. It did furnish some good jerk off fantasies for me for a week or two after I saw it.
“Nude? Not for me!” James announced with finality.
I was thinking to myself, ‘Not for me, either.’ I wasn’t raised to take my clothes off in front of people. I could only imagine somehow getting an unwanted erection in such a situation. I’d be mortified!
On the other hand, I remember a drama teacher once saying, “If something isn’t working, and you don’t know what to do, just do ANYTHING different.” And, I had to admit, acting for me, the way I was pursuing it, wasn’t working. Many of the biggest actors have filmed nude scenes. Look at Helen Mirren, Christian Bale, Halle Barry, and Richard Gere. Maybe I was just being prudish. It would be real money. Probably not much, but it might keep me going another month. If I passed the audition, of course.
“I’m up for it,” Kevin announced, smiling at his double-entendre. “I mean, I’ll go if you will,” he added, staring at me. Looking at James, and feeling I was more on his side of the fence than Kevin’s, I said, “No, thank you!” perhaps a little too emphatically.
The next evening, while James was driving for Uber, Kevin asked me again. I had been thinking about it. I did need the money. I caved, mocking him, “OK, I will if you will.”
I mostly put it out of my mind as I sold several hundred pairs of shoes during the next week, but the morning of the audition, I was as nervous as a cat in a dog kennel. What was going to happen? What was I getting into?
Kevin drove to the studio. There were like a hundred people there, all very good looking. ‘Oh well,’ I thought, another audition guaranteed to fail. We signed in. We were called to a desk where everyone was interviewed quietly and quickly. I couldn’t hear what was being said until it was my turn.
“Are you comfortable filming nude scenes?”
“Yes, no problem,” I boldly answered, as if I did this sort of thing all the time.
“Email us a nude photo.”
That was it, interview over.
On the drive home, Kevin and I had a lot to talk about. His interview was identical to mine.
“Do you have any nude photos?” he asked.
“Neither do I.”
“How do we get them?”
“Do we even want to? I mean, we might go to all this trouble to get nude photos, and we won’t get a part anyway. Did you see all the people there?”
We were silent for a few minutes as traffic on the freeway crawled at its usual LA pace. Then Kevin suddenly said, “We don’t have money for a professional photographer.”
“We need to take each other’s pictures.”
The thought kind of sickened me. I mean, it seemed a little too gay for my taste. But then I thought about it for a moment. I really can be a prude sometimes. I quietly said, “Really?”
We agreed that’s what we needed to do. We promised each other that we wouldn’t tell anyone. Not even James. The next evening, when James was out driving again, Kevin and I got our phones, and with great trepidation we took off our clothes down to our underwear, and… stalled out.
“Are we supposed to be erect or something?”
I hadn’t thought about that.
“Well, dude, I don’t know about you, but no way in hell am I going to be erect.”
I went first. I pulled off my pants, and Kevin shot a few different poses. I was surprised I looked so good naked. Kind of like Jackie Chan in his younger days, but with longer hair. We didn’t know if they wanted a full frontal shot, or something carefully obscured. We decided on a shot in which my dick was exposed. I rather liked the one of me reclining on the sofa, so that’s what we sent.
Kevin was a bit slower to take off his jockeys, but finally he did, and I shot some pictures of his tall, skinny self. I had to admit, he looked pretty good also. His dick was a bit larger than mine, and I experienced a momentary pang of jealousy. We got a shot he liked, and off it went to the casting director.
We figured that was that. We’d probably never hear from the studio. But the very next day, I got an email. I was almost too excited to click it. I was realizing something I didn’t expect. I really, really wanted to get a part in the new Caligula movie. There was something deliciously naughty about the possibility of doing a nude scene. After a moment’s hesitation, I opened it, and was disappointed. All it said is that they acknowledged that I sent the photo. The same thing happened to Kevin.
Two weeks later the whole thing was forgotten, except for a couple of times I jerked off while trying to imagine what it would have been like to be in a real nude scene. What would happen exactly? I looked at the original Caligula again, and was shocked to discover that there were several scenes in which even the extras had erections. One guy was masturbating in one scene. There were several actual fucking scenes. Oh my God! Would I be in a scene and actually get to fuck one of the actresses? That would be cool, but also scary beyond words!
The studio never wrote back. Until a month later. I was accepted! I was to show up at the studio on the 17th of next month at 9am. You’d think I’d be as excited as a schoolboy. No, I was as scared as a boy who had just broken a neighbor’s window. I was hoping, really hoping, that Kevin got a part too, because at least we’d be in it together. There’d be someone at the studio that we knew.
Kevin was accepted!
The 17th took forever to roll around. When the morning finally came, I drove, and we were dead silent for most of the trip. About the only thing that was said was, “What do you suppose it will be like?” and “I have no idea.”
We arrived at the studio, after some difficulty parking, and the scene was bedlam. There were at least forty people milling around in front of a small desk with two people who were having us, one at a time, fill out paperwork.
Then it was a long wait, while we nervously talked with other people who were as nervous as us. It was all small talk, with occasional repeated versions of, “What do you suppose is going to happen?” and “I have no idea.”
Finally a guy with a megaphone announced we were to all walk across the street to the sound stage. It took my eyes a moment to adjust. Once inside, I felt like this was where I was born to be. There were lights, reflectors, tripods, cords running along the floor, and a classic movie set, with bare wood behind everything, and things painted to look three-dimensional. I love stages! It made me feel so professional. Then my heart skipped a beat, as I remembered what we were there for.
Mr. Megaphone, who was the second assistant director, told us in plain and simple terms first to turn off our phones, and then to disrobe. There was a bank of lockers that must have been rented for the occasion along one wall. No one had thought to bring a lock, but I guessed our wallets and phones and things would be safe.
So, this was the moment of truth. Half of the people there were women. I must still be a kid at heart, because I was delighted to see their boobs, asses and more revealed as they took off their clothes. I noticed the guys too, but in a different way. Most were taller, and better looking than me. The competition. These were the guys who always got the parts I would have gotten. But oh well, we were all here together in this, whatever it was going to be, now.
It was ridiculously warm in the studio. I guessed that was on purpose. They wanted us to be comfortable naked.
Megaphone guy again, “Joel,” he said, pointing at an important looking guy who turned out to be the director, “is going to guide you to your places. Please everyone, in order to get all forty of you situated as quickly as possible, don’t talk. Don’t ask questions. Just do as Joel says.”
Joel walked among the set, guiding a woman here, a man there. Most of the time, he took a guy and girl as a couple to a spot. Sometimes, he’d grab two women, and situate them together.
He took two guys to a mattress on the floor, covered with what looked like burlap. I was glad I wasn’t one of them. It seemed they might have to do something gay. I still didn’t know if we were going to do anything actually sexual, or just be nude, although I had wondered about that a hundred times.
I also wondered whether I might embarrass myself by being the only one there with an erection. I needn’t have worried. I stayed soft as a noodle.
One guy, however, was rock hard as soon as his pants came off. I couldn’t help noticing. The director paired him with a very elegant, large-breasted blond woman on a sort of dias. Interesting. Maybe that boner of his was an asset in this business.
Kevin and I were kind of hanging back next to each other as the director was situating everyone.
He held Kevin by the wrist, looked pensively away for a moment, then with his other hand, he grabbed me by the wrist. “You two, here,” and he led us to another burlap covered mattress.
‘Oh fuck.’ I was thinking. This was not at all what I was hoping for. The fact is, I was kind of dreaming that I’d be paired with the female star. In fact, I hadn’t seen any of the name actors yet. Well maybe, as things got going, we’d mix and match. Or maybe the scene would be filmed several different ways.
The megaphone guy piped up again. “OK everyone, you have your places. Please stay within six feet of your original locations. I want you to do whatever comes naturally to you. However, I also want it to be a good shoot. PEOPLE, I want it to look good! This is real sex we’re talking about. Those who have seen the original movie know what this scene is about. Those who don’t, well, let me just say it is essentially a royally-sponsored orgy. Please make inventive use of the props. If you have a pole, stairs, or swing in your area, by all means use it, and use it inventively.”
He went on. “You can’t do anything wrong. If you get too crazy, which is pretty nearly impossible for this scene, we’ll simply cut it. Actually, there is one thing you can do wrong. Don’t hold back. Don’t be half-hearted. This is a sex scene, people!”
Just when it looked like Megaphone Man was done, someone with a clipboard walked up to him and said something quietly. He switched the megaphone back on and said, “Oh, right. No penetration without protection. You’ll find rubbers and packets of lube hidden under the corners and edges of whatever you’re on. If the mood takes you, discretely put one on, when a camera is not pointed at you. After all, they didn’t have condoms in ancient Rome. No one should take risks. You’re lives literally depend on being safe. And, make sure to hide the packets. We don’t want a bit of trash ruining the scene. One of the naked women raised her hand. Megaphone acknowledged her, and she asked, “Do you want all intercourse, or do you want sucking, and all sorts of other stuff?”
“Ah, great question. Anything goes. By all means, masturbate yourself, masturbate your partner, blowjobs, whatever. Let the cum fly!”
There was a bit of nervous laughter. Then, there was a five minute wait. The big lights came on. Monitors lit up. Cameramen took their places. There were five cameras. More than I had ever seen an one set at one time.
“Action” the megaphone guy yelled.
It took a moment for people to go from ‘deer in the headlights’ to actually doing anything. Kevin and I were probably the slowest to take action. The couple next to us, a gorgeous redhead with big tits and an athletic guy got themselves into a 69 position, and he was erect almost immediately.
I broke Kevin’s trance. ‘Dude, we’re actors. We can act. I think we have to act like gay guys.’
He agreed, and silently got on his hands and knees with his ass facing me. It was the first time I had seen a real, live, male asshole. I decided to come up behind him and pretend to be buttfucking him. I also decided to imagine I was buttfucking Janice, figuring that might help me make the whole thing look more real.
I put my hands on Kevin’s shoulders. He shuddered a little bit.
“Cold hand?” I asked, immediately pulling my hands away.
“No, I was just an odd surprise. I’ve never been touched like that by a guy.”
“Oh,” was all I could think to say.
I put my hands back on him, not knowing what else to do. I was on my knees, and brought my body up so I was pressed against his ass, emulating buttfucking.
He and I swayed back and forth, the way we imagined gay guys would do. A man with one of the handheld cameras came by, and shot for a minute right over my shoulder, then he went on to the couple next to us. I looked over, and got a great view of her open ass, with a very pretty pink little asshole and a sort of pink line going part way up her ass crack the way some women have. His dick was firmly embedded in her pussy. So far as I could tell, the cameraman was delighted to see that, and filmed it for a good, long minute.
I forgot myself for a moment while watching them, and was enjoying the feel of Kevin’s ass against my groin. I started to get erect. This was not good. Not good at all. If I didn’t do something about that right away, Kevin would notice. But what to do? I decided to multiply 1 x 2 and then the result of that over and over again. By the time I got to 64, I had forgotten the scene, and Kevin reminded me. “Keep pumping.”
“Oh, right.” I start pushing against his ass again. He was swaying with the movement, and suddenly I felt his balls swing against mine. It shouldn’t have happened, but that sent me into a place from which I could not recover. My penis, against my extremely strenuous math exercise, now at 4096, and trying to figure out what came next, grew hard.
“Dude!” Kevin said.
I couldn’t make out whether he was making fun of me, or just what he meant. But one thing was for certain. There was nothing I could do about it. OK, so I’m an actor. I’ve done a bit of live performing also, and if there’s one thing I know it’s “The scene must go on.” I wouldn’t want to be the one to cause the movie studio to have to retake the scene. Every time that happens with a set this involved, it costs them like ten thousand dollars.
So, I bucked up, and continued to sway with Kevin, with my boner now pressing up under him. I hoped he’d be understanding. I hoped he could just quietly deal with it. I hoped he understood it was all the sexual energy in the room that did this to me, not him. I hoped I understood that. Oh fuck it. What did it matter?
“Dude, put it in,” he said so quietly, I had to ask him to repeat it.
“Dude, it’s OK if you want to fuck me. It will make the scene more real.”
I don’t know what I was thinking. I should have freaked out, or quietly just gone on doing what I was doing, or pretty much anything else. Instead, I enthusiastically found a condom under the corner of our mat. Backing away from Kevin for a moment, I put it on my now rock-hard penis. I found a lube packet, and liberally coated the rubber. I noticed it was a nearly clear condom. I’ll bet the movie studio went to some trouble to find ones that wouldn’t show up on camera unless there was a closeup.
Coming back up behind Kevin, I figured I’d just push my cock right in.
“Oh, Dude, slow down there a second. That hurts.”
“Try putting a finger in first.”
“Yup, just go for it. It will be all right. I won’t get all gay on you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
That’s not what I was worried about. I was quite concerned about getting all gay on him. Or, maybe I was just now figuring out that I didn’t have to worry about what he thought about me getting all homo. He seemed to be as into it as I was. Moreso, maybe?
So, I backed away a little bit, and put some lube from the side of the condom on my fingertip, and just touched his anus. Meanwhile, like some sort of radar, a cameraman must have known what we were up to, and came right back over my shoulder, filming my finger and Kevin’s butt in detail. I slowly pushed in, expecting Kevin to yell out in pain, or get angry, or I don’t know what.
Instead, he said, “Hmm…” like he was enjoying it. As I felt his sphincter squeeze around my finger, I noticed my dick was as hard as it had ever been.
Of my own initiative, after I had buried my index finger all the way in his butt for a while, I pulled it out, and then slowly pressed two fingers in. I noticed his anus was loosening a bit.
To my surprise, I could hardly wait! I withdrew my fingers, and got back in position. I slowly pressed the tip of my penis against my roommate’s ass. I pressed slowly and for quite a while. Meanwhile, the camera guy was right over my shoulder the whole time. I felt the resistance give, and knew the tip of my penis was in his ass. I held there for a minute, not knowing if it would hurt Kevin for me to just plunge the rest of the way in.
Then, slowly, I did press further in, and Kevin was fine with it.
Woah, I almost came. I had to absolutely stop for a minute.
I was able to resume after a minute. By now, the camera man had departed to other parts of the large room. I could have fucked Kevin all day long. I mean, if I didn’t cum and ruin the whole thing. In fact, there I was behind him after another five minutes or so, and it was, well, I was right on the verge. I couldn’t hold it any longer, and suddenly, “Cut!”
The megaphone man ended the scene. I didn’t cum. In fact, I think I felt a small orgasmic contraction or two, but nothing came out into the rubber.
It was time for refreshments. 40 naked people, and about 20 clothed cameramen, grips, and other studio employees milled around as if this was an everyday occurrence.
Kevin and I barely said a word to each other, but to my great relief, he smiled briefly at me, letting me know everything was OK. I made sure to smile back.
We were told we were going to repeat the whole thing in a second take, and that would be the final take. A half-hour later found us being directed to our spots again. This time, to my absolute delight, I was paired with a tiny Asian girl named Michelle. She whispered to me a couple of humorous things. I could tell she was a delightful person. Silly visions of marriage flashed in my brain. This would be the kind of woman I could go for. She turned out to be from Korea, and my parents are from the Philippines, but I think they’d approve. Hell, they’d approve of a white or black girl too, as long as she made me happy.
Back to reality. The scene started with her deciding to give me a handjob. Just before I lost control, since I figured it was still early in the scene, I had her switch, and I found myself eating out her most excellent shaved pussy. Yummy! And cummy. She was one of those girls who is wet in buckets. I love that. Well, I do now. She was the first I had experienced who was anywhere near that wet. Then we fucked, and all too soon, I was filling my condom with cum. It didn’t help that she had learned to control her pussy walls so she was essentially stroking my penis internally. The two women I had been with had never done anything like that.
We had to fake our way through the rest of the scene, as my erection went down. Since Megaphone Man had told us that we could talk during these scenes because music would be dubbed over, she kept asking me to memorize her phone number, and made sure I got it right, by asking me to retell it several times. How cool is that?
In retrospect, that day was one of the absolute best days of my life. Back at home, in front of James, Kevin and I recounted the whole thing, comparing notes. I never did figure James out, but I’m pretty sure he was pissed that he hadn’t had the gumption to audition for Caligula also.
Anyway, for the second scene, Kevin had two girls taking turns massaging his back, his butt, and finally turned him over. While one gently massaged his balls, the other stroked his penis over and over again with her tongue, until he came, shooting his cum a good two feet in the air. Or so he said. Two feet seemed a bit hard to believe.
When the movie came out, Michelle, Kevin, his new girlfriend Alissa, tall, sleek and redheaded, and I went to see it. It was a delightful, well-directed movie. True to its predecessor, there were lots of great sex scenes. I’ve never been much into pornography, but when you were actually there, being part of the production, it takes on a whole new meaning. There I was! Unfortunately, not one inch of footage with Michele, but I was big as life, filling the huge screen in the theater, with my finger in a guy’s ass, his balls and cock swinging below. For the first time, I noticed that his cock was rock hard while I was fingering him. Somehow, I didn’t realize that at the time. The scene cut away to a man and woman couple, then came back to us briefly, this time with my dick obviously in his ass. I don’t know if it was some sort of CGI trick or what, but you really can’t see any condom. And, I was a bit worried about this for a while: You can clearly see my face, and I seem to be very blissed out.
The movie continued, and there was a cum shot as a girl was tonguing a penis. It was Kevin. And honest to God, it really did shoot two feet in the air!
Michelle and I got quite serious. We did get married, and it was a double ceremony along with Kevin and Alissa. You’ll never guess what we did on our honeymoon. Right, we had a wonderful, four-person orgy. At one point, Kevin and I recreated our scene while the girls watched. On another occasion, I’m now proud to admit, I let Kevin buttfuck me.
It took me a long while and the help of a psychologist to figure this out. I’m not gay. I am bisexual. I can be OK with guys, but I just happen to like girls better. And you know what? If it had been some other way around, like if I had turned out to be flaming gay, that would have been OK too.
As to being on the screen, seen by millions of people, not only naked, but buttfucking a guy, I was suffering all sorts of craziness about that for a while. I mean, even my parents saw the movie. Their only comment was, “It looks like you were having fun.”
I finally learned to be not only OK with it, but proud of my boldness for having done such a thing.
The very best thing that came out of it was a degree of success. Even though the two parts of my scene lasted a total of 2.5 seconds, it got me on some late-night talk shows. From there, my career was launched. I’m not a world-famous actor or anything, but if Michelle and are are careful with our investments, we’ll never have to worry about money for the rest of our lives.