Strange Facts, Trivia, and Fun True Stories About Sex
by Jeremy J Watson
Enjoy this antique erotic male massage video.
This article provides unexpected scientific information, strange news, and a wide variety of true stories, scenarios, and techniques for fully enjoying the human sexual experience. Pretty much any adult will enjoy this book, whether straight, gay or bisexual.
Disclaimer #1: The subject of sexuality can not be properly discussed if important information is left out. Therefore, frank language and complete descriptions that may offend some are included in this book. It is not for children!
Disclaimer #2: While considerable effort has been expended on double and triple-checking facts, your author, and everyone associated with this book, make no claims as to accuracy. So, you may want to do your own fact-checking before making claims, placing bets, etc.
The author is by no means a medical professional, so none of the material in this book is to be taken as medical advice.
Whereas disorders of the sexual organs can be embarrassing, please do not hesitate to contact a medical practitioner should a concern arise, since trying to keep conditions concealed and attempting home remedies can make situations worse. Besides, the medical people have seen it all.
The things that go on in a typical hospital emergency room would amaze you. Medical personnel have had to remove light bulbs from anuses, worms, ball-point pens, and ball bearings from bladders, and have treated punctured scrotums, torn labia, and glued-shut peeholes. Whatever you might present will not surprise them.
Dildos, toys that resemble the human penis, are often placed in the vagina, and sometimes the ass for pleasure. They have been used for at least 30,000 years, well before the wheel was invented, according to artwork created in the Upper Paleolithic period.
Dildos have been made in a huge variety of materials including glass. Many have vibrators built in. Occasionally, women and men will manage to use a very thin dildo as a sound, driving it into the urethra. Women’s urethras are wider and more flexible than mens’ so they can accommodate a wider dildo. A few women have stretched their urethras to the point where they can accommodate a full-size dildo as big around as a typical penis.
Women sometimes get a Princess Albertina piercing. This is a hole punched from about a quarter-inch (6mm) inside the urethral opening through to the outside of the opening. So, it goes right through the wall of the peehole. Then, a curved barbell or ring is inserted into the opening. When the inner labia are closed, it cannot be seen. Like the male equivalent piercing, the Prince Albert, this is typically performed without anesthesia.
The male version is more common, and is also drilled from inside the urethra to the underside of the penis, generally in the frenulum area, about 1/4 to 1/2-inch (6 – 12mm) from the opening. Both males and females say the Prince Albert piercing can enhance intercourse. It does have the unfortunate effect of making urination more messy. The wearer of a Prince Albert generally has to sit down to pee. Men can also get a reverse PA in which the piercing is placed from inside the urethra to the top of the glans.
Some men will work on stretching their Prince Albert piercing so that the diameter of the ring they wear can become quite large. Having a hole that accommodates a quarter-inch (6mm) diameter piercing is not uncommon.
The female clitoris is more penis-like than one might expect.
What one sees on the outside is the tip of the iceberg. There are up to four inches (10 cm) of clitoris, in the shape of a wishbone, inside the body. Just like men, women have corpora cavernosa, the expandable chambers that can fill with blood leading to an erection, in the inner parts of their clitoris. Of course their erections are much less noticeable. The clitoris It has 8,000 nerve endings, compared to approximately 4,000 on a penis.
One out of every five Americans has had sex with a coworker.
The typical male ejaculates 7,200 times in a lifetime, outputting a total of around 17 gallons (64 liters). An average ejaculation lasts 8 seconds, so the man will have spent around 16 hours out of a lifetime ejaculating.
A fairly new product takes the concept of vibrators to an entirely new level. The two common versions are called the Lush and the OhMiBod. They are pink vibrators that are most often worn inside the vagina, but can also be placed in female or male rectums. They have a stem 4.8 inch (1.2 cm) long with a bit of a handle at the end, so they can be easily removed. These very powerful vibrators comes with Bluetooth-connected apps that run on your phone, so you can control the intensity, frequency and pattern of the vibrations. The very cool thing about these is that you don’t have to be the one in control of your vibrations. You can hand your phone to your partner, who can give you orgasms through the device whenever s/he wishes. For instance, you might be enjoying a meal in a restaurant, and suddenly you’re hit with a vibration that sends you over the edge.
Through websites such as Chaturbate.com, you can allow strangers to control your vibrations, opening a whole new dimension to cybersex.
Rubbers: Six out of every hundred American men need extra-large rubbers. For the rest of us, 94 out of 100, the regular size is just fine. Just one encounter without a rubber can expose you to all sorts of STDs including HIV. And an unwanted child is like a sentence of 18 years at hard labor. Most of the time you might be able to get away with it, but what about this time? If you think an opportunity will present itself, keep a rubber in a hidden compartment in your wallet. Replace it from time to time, because the material can become weak with age. It is OK for women too, to carry condoms.
Lectamia is a common sexual act you may not have heard about. It is the act of caressing, or laying together without intercourse.
The visible portion of an erect penis averages 5.56″ (14 cm) according to a survey of over 1,600 men as reported in the Journal of Sexual Health in 2013. When your friend says his penis is 7.5″ long, he’s probably lying, unless he’s including the portion of the penis inside his body. In that case, his 7.5″ penis is a little shorty. Half of the length of the penis is buried inside. The sphincters leading into the bladder are 12 to 14 inches (30 to 35 cm) away from the tip.
Women who are college graduates are more inclined toward giving and receiving oral sex.
When a baby girl is still in the womb, all the eggs she will ever have are formed. She starts with approximately 6 million eggs, but by the time of birth, there are only a million left. Eggs continue to die off. By the time the girl is 13 years old, there are only around 300,000 left. Still, that’s plenty, since she will only ovulate around 350 eggs in her lifetime.
The average ejaculation contains 250 million sperm. That’s about the same number as there are leaves on a large maple tree. Only one of those 250,000,000 sperm will penetrate an egg. So, you could say all the rest are failures. Or, you could say one is very successful.
People will often use ‘sperm’ to mean the entire composition of ‘ejaculate,’ the name of the material that is ejaculated, which consists primarily of the fluid manufactured in the prostate gland called ‘semen’. Only a small portion of the ejaculate is sperm. Another commonly used term for ejaculate is ‘cum.’
Porn star Lisa Sparxx set a new record in 2004 by fucking 919 men in one 24-hour period.
There is only one organ in the human body that’s sole purpose is pleasure: The clitoris.
In addition to nipples, clitoris and penis, the inner tissues of the nose swell during sexual activity.
Dry Orgasm: An orgasm without ejaculation. Medical reasons can cause dry orgasms in men, such as when the prostate gland has been removed. Children in early adolescence can have dry orgasms before their bodies mature sufficiently to create prostatic fluid.
A man can learn to purposely have dry orgasms. They most often give you contractions just like a full ejaculatory orgasm, although they may be lighter, and fewer in number. Some say the experience is seventy percent as powerful as a full ejaculation. The big advantage that outweighs the lost thirty percent is that you can have orgasm after orgasm without losing sexual interest, all day long, if you want.
Quite a bit of practice is required, to acquire the dry orgasm skill. However a master practitioner doesn’t need anything to clean up. The masters are so good at dry orgasms that they can be sure not to ejaculate during a session even if it lasts for hours.
Practicing these two techniques will eventually get you to dry orgasms:
1. As soon as you are nearing orgasm, do whatever you can to fully relax your whole body, and especially your PC muscle, the one that you tension when you squeeze your anus shut, and causes your penis, when erect, to raise up an inch or so. Stop all stimulation. At first, you’ll ejaculate anyway, but in time, you’ll notice that the contractions can be weaker, and the cum more-or-less just flows out instead of spurting. The amount of fluid will be less, and the best part is that you won’t lose interest. You can orgasm again a few minutes later.
2. Practice edging, but instead of waiting a minute or more between each time you approach the edge of ejaculation, resume stimulation within just a few seconds. When you finally go over the edge, you may notice that the ejaculation is weaker, and the orgasm lasts longer. In time, you’ll achieve full dry orgasms.
3. Taking the process a spectacular step beyond dry orgasms, a man can stay in continuous non-ejaculatory orgasm, sometimes for minutes at a time. This is learned using nearly the same techniques. But, instead of stopping when you start to feel the orgasm approaching, just maintain light stimulation. In time, you’ll notice your whole body is feeling the orgasm, and just staying in the flow, yet you’re not ejaculating.
For many years, especially in Europe and America, masturbation was considered somehow bad. Even talking about it was bad form. Fortunately, things have changed. Medical research has proven that masturbation is not only OK, it is actually good for mental and physical health. Masturbation boosts the immune system. It also lowers blood pressure – although it is actually higher during the act itself. In men, masturbation reduces premature ejaculation, reduces likelihood of prostate inflammation which is quite common as men age, and according to some studies, may even reduce incidence of prostatic cancer.
People who have sex or masturbate at least once a week have thirty percent fewer heart attacks, half as many strokes, and are forty percent less likely to come down with diabetes than everyone else. Those who masturbate or have sex regularly are also more likely to live past eighty years old.
Perhaps the best benefit in both men and women, is greater psychological stability. People who don’t jerk off suffer from a pressure one might call horniness, in which it is all to easy to make social gaffs and blunders, such as pursuing someone who is not actually going to be good company, following someone around who doesn’t want to be followed, and telling off-color jokes in the wrong places and times.
There is evidence that many people who are grouchy, cynical, or frequently agitated, are not having as many orgasms as those who are calm and happy.
Masturbation goes by more than 500 names, such as “choking the chicken,” “fapping,” “jerking off,” “slapping the monkey,” and “wanking.” How many can you think of?
In this website, I’m striving to normalize discussion of sex, and especially masturbation. People ought to be able to discuss such things, don’t you think? Of course we all need to know about, and practice safe forms of sex. And what could be safer than masturbation?
You won’t catch a disease, you don’t have to associate with someone you may not like (just to have sex), and you can do it on your own schedule. Jerking off is underrated. In fact, it is still stigmatized in our society. Some people think it is somehow dirty, or against their religion, while others feel it is something only for people who can’t get ‘real’ sex. For instance, in the UK, someone who is not up to par is called a ‘wanker,’ as if that’s a bad thing.
Can you imagine what a wonderful world this will be when masturbation is considered normal and OK by everyone?
I am so glad to be in the 21st century! Until the end of the 20th century, masturbation was seldom discussed, and it was considered ‘bad.’ How bad? It depended on who you asked. There are still some people who say it should never be done. Imagine that!
There were reports of babies having their arms tied in cardboard carpet tubes so they couldn’t touch their genitals. Boys and girls were punished in all sorts of ways, from grounding, having privileges taken away or hand slapping, to boys having their balls slapped with a ruler. Almost all youngsters went through their teen years thinking they were doing something ‘bad.’ That they were bad people because they couldn’t stop doing what was ‘bad.’ We can only imagine how much that tore down kids’ confidence, how it destroyed an important element of their self-esteem.
Who would these people be if they had their full confidence? How many young adults took to excessive drink or drugs, did not get a full education, had unsatisfying relationships, and made bad decisions due to lack of self-esteem? How many more did alright, but did not become as great as they could have been?
Now, I’m guessing that most of those parents who punished their children and frowned on their friends who masturbated, secretly did it themselves. And these parents had low self-esteem, as did their parents. And it went back generation after generation into pre-history.
Back in the day, and to some degree even today, people had to sneak. It took me a few years before I could jerk off in front of my own wife – and before she would wank in front of me. What a delicious time it was after we broke that ice! At first we were typical in that we snuck around, and only had ‘regular’ sex with each other. And, how much better we were as a couple when we could be totally free with ourselves and each other. Breaking the masturbation barrier in our marriage allowed us to more easily break other barriers. It opened up good times. It had been the only secret we kept, and then there were no more secrets.
In the current era, all sorts of barriers are starting to be broken. In a recent study, 95 percent of men said they masturbate, and 89 percent of women. Almost everyone has free access to the Internet, with all the porn and education we can eat. These days many teenagers, but not all, are not only allowed to masturbate freely, it is encouraged. Some can more freely experiment with their friends. It is talked about openly. At the same time, sexual abuse is also talked about, and so the kids, and the adults, are informed. Soon, I believe, sexual abuse will disappear forever, to be replaced with healthy sexuality, and masturbation in particular.
Taking what may seem like a crazy look into the future, you might imagine a day will come when you can stroll along any beach, sit at a bus stop, or watch TV with your friends, and you may see someone jerking off with no concerns in the world about being seen by someone else. In fact, you may do it yourself. It’s starting to happen already. Masturbation scenes have been shown on national TV such as in episodes of Big Brother.
Of course you’ve heard of the G-spot. That’s the area inside and on the front side of a vagina about two inches (5 cm) from the opening. When massaged, it can bring on an orgasm in many women. Some say this orgasm is more satisfying than one brought on by clitoral stimulation. It is different, in any case.
There is also an A-spot. also known as the anterior fornix erogenous zone, or AFE zone. This area is located between the cervix and bladder. It is on the same front wall as the G-Spot, but farther in. When rubbed, it can bring on involuntary vaginal lubrication, enhances arousal, and sometimes can lead to orgasm by itself. According to Dr. Chua Chee Ann, a sex scientist who has done research into women with vaginal dryness, giving attention to this spot for ten minutes daily, greatly increases lubrication and can make orgasms easier or quicker to attain.
As if there weren’t already enough ‘spots,’ there is also a P-spot. This is an area in men that stimulates the prostate gland. Not only is rubbing or gently pressing on the P-spot pleasurable, it can also help with prostate health, according to many experts. The spot is about two to three inches (5 – 7.5 cm) inside the anus against the front wall. When massaged, it creates something like a “gotta pee” sensation, but generally better and can be highly arousing. Some semen can be expressed. A man can sometimes feel the fluid moving outward through the urethra, and it is not uncommon to have some fluid drip out of the penis. Occasionally, a prostate massage can bring on full orgasm and ejaculation.
The country with the most sexual activity is Greece, where couples have intercourse 164 times a year. The worldwide average is 103 times a year, or once every 3.5 days.
Sphincter: A ring of muscle that controls the flow of liquid. In this case, we are talking about the urinary sphincters. Most people don’t realize there are two of them, a short distance apart. One is mostly involuntarily controlled, and the other is voluntarily controlled. This is why sometimes when you want to pee, it takes a moment to get started.
People who practice catheter play or deep sounding can feel the sphincters when they are penetrated. You’ll feel a sudden but sort of sweet ‘gotta pee’ feeling as the object passes through each sphincter.
Size: As it turns out, there is very little correlation between the height of a man, and the length of his penis. You cannot tell the size of a man’s penis by the size of his shoes, his hands, or his nose. For that matter, from a man’s penis, you cannot tell the size of his wallet.
Size isn’t as big an issue as you might imagine. Most women don’t care about a small penis, but fifty percent of men feel their penis is not big enough. In fact, many women report that a man with a very long penis results in poor-quality intercourse because his penis painfully bangs against the cervix or back of the vaginal cavity.
The vast majority of men have erect penises between 5.5 and 6.5 inches (14 to 16.5 cm) in length. The longest penis ever recorded was 13.5 inches (34.3 cm), owned by Jonah Falcon of New York City. The shortest: 17 mm (5/8-inch). This latter may have been a case of hermaphroditism.
The proper way to measure an erect penis is to run a ruler from the base of the penis right at the top of where it joins the body to the tip. Do not press into the body. Do not stretch the penis beyond it’s normal erect length. Circumference can also be measured. Wrap a string or tape measure around the penis. The diameter is only around an inch, but the circumference may amaze you.
Felix Faure, the President of France, died at the age of 58 in 1899 while receiving oral sex from 30-year-old Marguerite Steinheil.
After sex: According to at least one survey, 36 out of a hundred men turn to social media after having sex, even before taking a shower.
Does the orgasm feel essentially the same for women and men? No one can fully answer that question. However, the male and female genitals are more similar than different, especially if viewed from the time of fetal development, when they are seen to come from the same pre-structures. A close study of some women orgasming makes it clear that they have contractions or spasms at about the same rate as men. Our brains and the nervous system between our brains and genitals is also almost identical.
In the male, the orgasmic contractions function to push the sperm out of the penis. In the woman, the orgasms help bring the sperm more toward the entrance to the cervix. That entrance has a funny name, the os.
In general, the male and female orgasms do differ in some ways other than duration. Thirty percent of women can have multiple orgasms, whereas few men can do that. Men need a refractory period lasting anywhere from 15 minutes to several days. Women generally prefer more romance and more foreplay, without which, they often cannot have orgasms, On the other hand, most men can cum in three minutes.
Many men wish they had a longer penis, but they probably don’t want one as long as a barnacle. A barnacle’s penis is 20 times longer than its body.
Peegasm: Also known as pissgasm. In women, peeing a little is common during orgasm. It can be confused with female ejaculation, and according to some experts, it is all that female ejaculation really is.
In men, it’s an entirely different ballgame. Urinating while ejaculating is nearly impossible. Therefore, many men feel it is something to strive for. The trick is to start with a very full bladder, and to be good at edging. When you’re so full that you really can’t hold it any more, when little dribbles of pee start leaking out no matter how hard you resist, start wanking like crazy. If you feel your valves shutting off the flow of urine, stop stroking, the resume shortly afterward. If you feel you’re getting too close to orgasm, back off. At first, you’ll slip over one edge or the other. Either you’ll end up using all your urine, or you’re ejaculate. Usually ejaculation shuts off the flow of urine, but if you can relax your orgasmic contractions while they’re happening, the urine can continue to flow. Ultimately, the day will come when you are peeing, and stroking yourself at the same time. You’re very relaxed, and then suddenly, the pee starts to spurt in an ejaculating sort of way, and your semen is mixed with the urine. Keep practicing, It will happen!
Approximately one out of a hundred people say they are asexual, meaning they have no interest in sex.
San Francisco: This city of just under one million people, surrounded by Oakland, Berkeley and Marin County, is regarded as one of the leading LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transvestite) capitals of the world. There are many private meetings and get-togethers as well as public venues, such as the Steamworks and Body Electric in Berkeley, SF Jacks, and the Masturbate-A-Thon in the city itself.
There used to be a large, old three-story warehouse in the heart of the city that housed the Power Exchange. This was a venue that people could enter on weekend nights with all sorts of play facilities and scenarios. There were buckets with packets of lube and condoms scattered around, and all sorts of furniture and rooms, such as dungeons, slings, and a room with a bank of TVs playing various forms of porn. Attendees to the Power Exchange were primarily heterosexual or bi, with almost as many women as men in attendance. It helped matters that women were admitted with no cover charge on some evenings. Men typically started out wearing towels, but ended up discarding their towels as the evening wore on.
Perhaps one of the most fascinating aspects of San Francisco is public nudity. Until recently, it was legal to appear without clothing in public. That law was changed to being a misdemeanor as it is in most communities a few years ago, but is seldom enforced. There were times you could see naked people strolling around, catching buses, and even occasionally wanking at bus stops.
Even though California contains San Francisco, California is the least ‘kinky’ state in America, according to a survey by Pornhub.com. The kinkiest states are Alaska, Oregon, Vermont, West Virginia and Wyoming.
Genital Modification: Also known as body modification or mods, this is the art of making changes to genitals. Both men and women participate. For women, common modifications are piercings, removal or trimming of inner labia, and tattoos. For men, modification can take many forms such as installing beads under the skin of the penis, enlarging the meatus, changing the scrotum in various ways, and more extreme measures such as splitting the penis into two long half-penises. Most mods are done without anesthesia. There is extreme risk of physical damage and infection. Another risk that many people don’t consider is psychological. Later on, you may really, really, wish you hadn’t done it.
One of the common male genital modifications is usually done gradually. A man will cut his meatus open a bit, and make sure it heals as a wider opening. Then he’ll cut it some more, until it is split all the way down to the frenulum. When the novelty of that wears off, the man continues splitting down the underside of the penis until the urethra is opened all the way down to the scrotum.
With approximately one-third of women, the concept is insignificant, because they are often ready for more stimulation immediately after orgasm, and can have several orgasms in a single session. For the other women who, more like a man, are ‘finished’ after a single orgasm, post-orgasm stimulation can be, well, stimulating, if not excitingly intense.
With most men, soon after ejaculating, they’ll lose their erection, and lose interest in stimulation. In fact, their penis becomes very sensitive and any sort of touch can feel terrible.
With post-orgasm torture, the man is forced to endure ongoing stimulation. The effects can vary. With most men, it sends them into an almost unbearable squirming situation if they are tied down and helpless, and causes them to ask the administrator to stop. Many men are attracted to the idea of post-orgasm stimulation. They fantasize about it. But when the actual time comes, and they have ejaculated, they will usually find it unbearable.
There are a couple of tricks to overcome the unbearableness, and make it actually delightful instead. One is to be very gentle with the recipient after the ejaculation. This means continuing to handle his penis and perhaps his balls, nipples, ass, etc, but very lightly and slowly for a few minutes, After a while, you can work back up to full stimulation. In ideal circumstances, the recipient may never lose his erection, and can be ready for a second ejaculation, sometimes within a minute or two. Practitioners of this art can have several small ejaculations, maintaining their erections for hours.
The other approach is to totally relax just as the ejaculation is happening, and have the administrator stop all stimulation until the ejaculation subsides. With practice, you can reduce or even eliminate the orgasmic contractions, and a bit of cum will flow out smoothly. You may even manage dry orgasms. Unlike a full ejaculation, shortly after one of these mini-ejaculations, you’re absolutely ready for more stimulation.
The longest penis in the animal kingdom is attached to a blue whale and can measure beyond 8 feet (244 cm) in length.
One of the strangest jobs is that of fluffer. That’s an assistant in the pornographic industry who has the task of keeping one or more male actors erect between scenes. This is generally done with blowjobs or handjobs. The fluffer may also be a general hand, or ‘grip,’ available to support the filming as necessary.
According to research, heterosexual women have orgasms in 62 percent of their sexual sessions. For lesbian women it’s 75 percent.
A male gorilla weighs twice as much as a man, yet his penis is only one-third as long at 2 inches (5 cm) when erect.
A recent study discovered that married men masturbate more than single men.
Sex for male honeybees is a one-way, one-time activity. When they pull out of the female, their penis and part of their abdomen is ripped out of their bodies.
Electro-Stimulation: Also known as Estim. This is the act of applying electricity to one’s body, typically the genitals. Most practitioners start with a TENS (Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation) unit, a device made initially for medical electro-stimulation. In medical settings, it can be used to relieve back and joint pain, as well as making dental and other procedures more bearable. The general idea is that electrical current is introduced through the skin. People have discovered that electro-stimulation can have very interesting sexual effects.
Using a TENS unit, two or more pads, about an inch (2.5 cm) square, are usually applied to the skin and an electrical charge of varying voltage and frequency is passed through them. The electricity can also be pulsed at a lower frequency, typically just a few cycles per second.
A man using electro-stimulation may place a pad near the tip of the penis, and another at the base of the scrotum. Others will place a pad on either side of the shaft or glans of the penis, or even above the penis on the lower abdomen. For women, a pad on either side of the vagina, or electrodes lightly clamped on the inner labia so current flows across the clitoris can particularly enjoyable. Others enjoy electrodes on the buttocks, whereas some people will go so far as to use electrodes embedded in anal and urethral plugs.
The effect can vary widely, depending on many factors including the nature of the electrical signal being applied, and placement of the pads or probes. Usually, it is a tingling sensation. Applied very lightly, in combination with intercourse or a handjob, it can enhance the effect without being noticed in its own right. Or, one can turn the intensity way up, and work very hard to be able to stand the current, often resulting in an almost immediate orgasm or even a hands-free ejaculation.
Be very careful about inducing a current where a current shouldn’t go especially if you use homemade equipment. You could damage your eyes, or brain, or even give yourself a heart attack by accidentally sending a current through your head, neck, or chest.
In Switzerland, it is illegal for men to urinate in a standing position after 10pm.
In Florida, you can legally fart until 6pm.
If you should choose to have sex with a porcupine in Florida, you should be aware that you’re breaking the law.
It Swaziland, Women should be very careful about wearing pants in public. Members of the military are allowed to tear the woman’s pants off.
If you happen to own a bar in Oklahoma, watch out for people pretending to have sexual intercourse with a buffalo. If you allow that, you are breaking the law.
In Utah, you may not legally have sexual intercourse in an ambulance while it is on it’s way to an emergency.
In Ohio, no more than five women can live in one house. (Because it would then be assumed to be a house of prostitution.)
According to the law in Indonesia, the punishment for masturbating is decapitation. This law is seldom enforced.
Vagina is the Latin word for a sheath that holds a sword.
Kellogg’s Corn Flakes: This food was invented as a way to stop children from masturbating. The theory must have not been quite right, because although a lot of corn flakes were sold, the kids kept doing what kids will do. Dr. Kellogg was a man obsessed with speaking and acting out against masturbation.
The penis of a cat has barbs. When having intercourse with a female cat, this scratches her vaginal canal, which triggers ovulation. Until about 700,000 years ago, the pre-human penis had barbs also.
Female bedbugs don’t have any sexual openings. The male simply pierces her abdomen anywhere he wants with his armored penis.
There is a psychological condition called ithyphallophobia which is the fear of erections – thinking of, seeing or having them.
Nocturnal Erection: It is natural for men men to have six to twelve erections during sleep and frequently waken in the morning with an erection. These may or may not be associated with sexual dreams or wet dreams.
Men often enjoy the feeling of waking with an erection, and some will masturbate first thing in the morning. Early in a marriage, most men are shy about letting their wives see them with an erection at night or in the morning. These men usually feel a great sense of relief when their wives discover their nocturnal erections, and then let their husbands know that they understand and are OK with it. Some wives take it a step further, and want to play with or use their husbands’ nocturnal erections.
Do you know what an intactivist is? That is a person who is opposed to circumcision.
A bonger is a hammer-like device with soft heads that is used to hit testicles. It would take somewhat powerful swings to cause pain, so this is a safe, fun device when used within reason. Before you decide to surprise your man with a bonger, keep in mind that only some men would like this treatment.
Once ejaculated, according to one report, the sperm swim at the rate of no more than 7 inches (18 cm) per hour.
Ejaculation varies with many factors including age, health condition, time of day, diet, and the amount of time since last ejaculation. The color can vary from clear to white, sometimes with a harmless, yellowish tinge. Sometimes a urethral injury or prostatic infection can cause a pink tint. Should that condition happen to you, have a health professional monitor it carefully. The volume of ejaculation can vary from zero to more than an ounce (28 cubic centimeters).
Ejaculation most often accompanies orgasm, but either can be had without the other. See Dry Orgasm.
The average man ejaculates 7,200 times in a lifetime. A man can typically ejaculate within three minutes of beginning stimulation. Assuming the average ejaculation takes a bit longer, perhaps five minutes, that’s a total of 600 hours of pure pleasure. Or, if you’re an edger, or you and your mate spend a lot of time leading up to ejaculation, that might be more like 8,000 hours, or an entire year of 24-hour days.
Another way to look at it is that the typical man ejaculates approximately 53 liters (14 gallons, or 56 quarts) in a lifetime. All this ejaculate will contain about 1.8 trillion sperm.
Boner: This term is a common euphemism for penis that might make one think there’s an actual bone in a human penis. Of course there isn’t, but our not-so-distant ancestors may have had an actual bone in theirs. Many species of mammals, including apes, do have a bone, called a baculum, that protrudes into their penis for more instant erections.
If you were to put a sperm from a mouse under a microscope, and compare it to the sperm from an elephant, you’d find the mouse’s sperm is longer.
Growers and Showers: There are two types of men, some of whom have large flaccid penises that don’t get much bigger when erect, and the others who are small when flaccid, but grow considerably. By looking at a man in a flaccid state, you cannot determine how big his penis will be when erect. However, if you stretch it out as far as it will go, that’s a fairly good indicator of full erect length.
A surgical procedure called degloving seems rather gruesome, but tends to work out well. In order to expose the inner workings of the penis, such as in repairing a fracture, the skin must be temporarily moved away. This is done by slitting the skin all around the underside of the glans (the head of the penis). Then it is entirely pulled down, and the connections between the skin and the layers below are carefully carved, so the skin can be pulled down to the base of the penis, like pushing a sock down one’s ankle toward the toes. After completion of the repair, the skin is brought back up, and reattached just behind the head of the penis. Evidently, the connections between the skin and the layers underneath reestablish themselves. Stitches are removed a week later.
Your author has not spoken to anyone who has had this done, and wonders if sensation returns fully back to normal.
Put some coconut oil or something slippery on the palm of your hand. Then rub it lightly over the tip of your man’s penis (glans) while the shaft of the penis is being held in your other hand. If he doesn’t squirm like crazy right away, he’s not human. This squirming feeling is very hard to take, but also very pleasurable, as long as he likes intensity. In a few minutes, if he can take it, the feeling transmutes into something milder, and rather interesting: Typically a ‘gotta pee’ combined with ‘gonna cum’ feeling. However, men don’t usually pee or cum, but can enjoy the feeling for quite a long time. The problem is getting there. The intensity can be so great that men have to have someone sit on their chest and hands so they won’t be able to get away.
Apple polishing works best if the man’s penis is hard before the procedure begins.
Some men want to be tied down to fully experience this ‘punishment.’ To really appreciate this technique, the man might want to have a safeword. If he really can’t take it, he can say the word. Then, the treatment can be completely intense.
If he should settle in too soon, you can try varying the angle of the rub, the pressure, and the amount of squeezing of his dick with your other hand. Various combinations will send him through the roof – in a good way – if he does enjoy intensity.
People who administer apple polishing enjoy seeing what happens to the recipient. Often it is so intense that the man starts shaking or jittering uncontrollably.
There are a couple of cautions: Going too long, or using too little oil can cause damaging wear to the skin, forming redness or even blisters that can take days to heal. Like sunburn, he might not notice it while it’s happening.
Sometimes people do involuntarily pee during this procedure.
Autoerotic asphyxiation is masturbation purposely set up in a situation where one can’t breathe. It is so dangerous that between 500 and 1,000 people die from it every year.
Men who help with housework have sex more often than those who don’t.
Typically, the ass refers to the large area surrounding the anus, but can also refer to the anus itself. Asshole is the more common term. Many women and men enjoy anal play although there are also many who can’t feel comfortable with anything having to do with fecal matter. Just knowing they are working in the area where it comes from gives them willies. But, for those who enjoy it, they like placing anything from fingers to entire hands in the anus, as well as an assortment of plastic toys including dildoes and vibrators. The area inside the anus is the rectum.
A particularly enjoyable thing to do with an anus is to run one’s finger or tongue around the anus lightly for a while. This sensation is teasing in a way, but delightful for most people in it’s own right. The trick to doing it well, is to do it very, very lightly. The best position is to have the recipient on hands and knees, so the anus is entirely accessible. This can be done with, or without lubricant. The light teasing is most effective at the start of a session. Later on, you can start very slightly penetrating the anus with a finger. For that, lubrication is generally required.
Sometimes, when you have a finger in someone’s anus that is orgasming, you can feel the anal contractions, which can be quite erotic. So in this case, the finger can also be an erogenous zone. Generally, the anal sensation of contractions is more noticeable in females than males.
Women might want to be careful to avoid vaginal contact with anything that has been in the anus, since this can cause bacterial infections.
The anus is usually slow to accommodate large diameters. If someone wants more, several fingers, or a whole fist in the anus, it is important to work up to it very slowly.
Pulling out of the anus is also best done slowly. It can be rather shocking for someone to put a finger, or other object, in your anus, then have it suddenly removed. It is a feeling that makes your eyes open wide.
When a finger is left in the anus for a while, then withdrawn very slowly, the sensation is rather unusual. The person new to this activity could swear that the finger is a foot long.
Most forms of anal play are best done after the area has been cleaned with an enema, and/or the person has had a diet that does not result in soft fecal material. On the other hand, the best diets for health and long life generally do result in softness.
Edging is the practice of arriving at the brink of orgasm but not going over the edge. It is sometimes enjoyed by women, but is more common among men. That’s because women are often natural edgers without trying. Immediately after an orgasm, many can have more orgasms or at least they still enjoy the activity. Men, on the other hand, often need a refractory period before they’ll enjoy more sexual activity. However, this tendency to be ‘done’ after orgasm in men can be defeated.
A man can do this several times in a row, prolonging the enjoyment of masturbation. It can also be done with friends, male or female, as a mutual masturbation practice. Perhaps where edging is most important is in sexual intercourse with a woman. Women usually take longer to come to orgasm. The callous man will ejaculate, then leave the woman to her own devices. That’s not the best way to maintain a loving relationship. If the man learns edging, he can learn to entertain her perfectly, and have more joy for himself in the process.
Many men play with edging, but most don’t realize there is another level that can be learned, and is even more enjoyable. With practice, one can have mini-orgasms, or even dry orgasms in which little or no ejaculate is released, even though contractions and all the rest that goes with orgasm is experienced. These orgasms are seventy percent as strong as full-on ejaculatory orgasms, but the big advantage is the man stays hard, and can continue stimulation right away, having more mini-orgasms, even lasting for hours, with practice.
One in four couples prefer sex in the dark.
An Injaculation is an ejaculation that is forced backward, so instead of squirting out the urethra, it is blocked. Depending on where and how it is blocked, the cum might flow past the sphincter valves and into the bladder. The next urination is typically cloudy, and sometimes has clumps of semen. The ejaculation doesn’t always make it into the bladder. It may simply be retained in the prostate area, and is eventually absorbed by the body.
Points for blocking, to cause an injaculation are:
1. At the tip of the penis. Pinching the glans closed during ejaculation does reduce the mess that would otherwise be created, but is not a real injaculation, because the semen remains in the distal portion of the urethra until released. Sometimes a man who has his ejaculation blocked with a pinched glans will discover the orgasmic contractions last longer, even much longer. For some men, this is painful, as the urethra is stretched just behind the block.
2. Between the anus and the base of the scrotum in the area known as the perinium. This requires fairly firm pressure with one or two fingers, and they must be directly over the urethra. This interesting effect can cause a true injaculation. Experimentation is usually required to find just the right place to press.
3. Near the base of the penis, just forward of the scrotum. This is a cross between true injaculation and pinching the glans, generally resulting in the semen flowing out as soon as the pressure is released.
4. Psychological/physiological: It is possible to resist an ejaculation, but for most men it is very difficult. A tantric practice called the big draw can be effective.
The medical profession is divided on support of injaculation. Some say it is dangerous, possibly causing symptoms, although most never quite say what those symptoms would be. Others will tell you that they, or others, have been practicing it for thousands of years without ill effect.
Injaculation has been used a low-reliability version of birth control.
A ball vise, also known as testicle vise is a clamp-like contraption, often homemade, that is fastened around the testicles to apply pressure. Most are adjustable, and the recipient will accommodate greater and greater pressure as the session progresses. Some men will squeeze their balls only enough to feel slight pressure while others are true masochists and will endure tremendous squeezing and great pain.
Somewhat equivalent to ‘testicle torture’ for women is ‘tit torture.’ There are a fair number of women who enjoy breast squeezing, play piercing (piercings that are allowed to heal) and even breast bondage. It is possible to tie a cord around the breasts until they turn blue, then release the cord for an interesting sensation. Like all activities that cut off circulation, there is a danger of going too long, and the cord, strip of cloth, rope, or whatever is used, can cause damage to the skin or maybe even inner tissues.
Diphallus: This is the rare condition of being born with two penises. At any given time, approximately 100 men throughout the world are diphallic. The chances of your baby boy being born with two penises are approximately one in 73 million.
There is a legend that a certain King Fatafehi Paulah of Tonga felt it was his royal duty to have intercourse with every virgin in his kingdom. He slept with 37,000 women. If he ‘did’ one woman a day, it would have taken him 101 years, so he must have had intercourse several times a day. According to one report, he slept with ten women a day. The problem with this story, is that it doesn’t appear to be true. According to Wikipedia there was never a king of Tonga named Fatafehi Paulah.
Vibrators cannot legally be sold in the American states of Mississippi and Alabama.
For men, separating orgasm and ejaculation is not only possible, but remarkably enjoyable.
Here’s what you do: Bring yourself to the edge, where in another couple of seconds of stimulation you’d ejaculate, then stop. After just a few seconds, start stimulating again, and again stop just before you reach the edge. Most guys think you need to wait a good minute or longer after each time you stop, so that the feeling will fully subside. But the real magic happens when you stop for only a few seconds. Don’t let the pre-orgasmic feeling totally subside.
This becomes super-delightful when you discovering yourself having dry orgasms, several times in a row. Then, optionally, you can blow a big load at the end. Or not. Some guys will purposely not cum, sometimes for days on end. Between sessions, you tend to stay charged up in a good way, as if your senses are heightened, and you have more energy.
Sex burns 400 calories per hour.
A recent study found that thirty percent of men are quite dissatisfied with the size of their penis. Many will go to great lengths to avoid disrobing among men in showers, saunas and other public places, because they are afraid other men will think their penis is too big or too small. Some are even worried that people can see their penis size through their pants.
Many products flood the market to increase penis size. Most techniques to enhance penis size do not work. Be wary of companies that want to sell you something. Surgical procedures can work to some degree. One is to make a cut a horizontal incision about an inch (2.5cm) long in the lower abdomen an inch above the penis, and then sever a tendon that supports the penis. The penis doesn’t become longer, it just drops out farther forward. Another technique involves degloving the penis, and then wrapping material under the skin.
Yet another operation severs diagonally all the way through the inner workings of the penis (the corposa cavernosa), then stitches them back together at an offset, so the penis is longer, although perhaps a bit thinner. These rather extreme measures are painful, risky and take a long time to recover from, as you can imagine. And, they may not be necessary. Furthermore, results are not always what the men who undergo them had hoped.
Whereas some women, and some men, prefer large cocks, many others like them small, so the surgery may actually be going in the wrong direction.
Some men will fall victim to the very dangerous practice of injecting oil, silicone or other substances into the penis to fatten or lengthen it, or keep it semi-erect. This can potentially cause necrosis of the penis, requiring amputation.
However, there is an exercise that may have some limited effect. Not only is it painless, it can be downright pleasurable. This exercise is weirdly named jelqing. A man simply forms a ring around the base of the penis with thumb and forefinger, and then pulls forward, forcing fluid outward. Repeating the process over and over is said to result in slight penile enlargement.
Hypospadias is a congenital condition in which the urethra does not extend to the tip of the penis. In distal hypospadias, the opening of the urethra is near the glans, on the underside of the penis. In proximal hypospadias, the opening can be in the scrotum. Surgical correction on newborns usually fixes the problem. Many men have minor distal hypospadias, and some don’t even realize their penises are abnormal. They think having their meatus (peehole) just below the glans is the way it is supposed to be.
Cock Ring: A device worn around the base of the penis, usually behind the scrotum. Cock rings can be true rings, typically made of metal or a rubber-like substance. Others are openable or adjustable so they can be worn more tightly, since a solid cock ring has to be fairly large diameter to get past the testicles. Working a solid cock ring on past the testicles can be a frustration or a pleasure depending on the wearer’s state of mind.
A loose cockring can be considered a piece of jewelry. Many are seen at nude beaches and in porn videos. They can have a placebo effect in which the wearer will maintain an erection better than without one.
A tighter cock right will indeed maintain an erection because it prevents blood from flowing back out of the penis. Care should be taken in the tightness of a cock ring. Too tight, and blood won’t flow into the penis in the first place. Or, with a too-tight ring, the erection may last too long, a self-inflicted version of the disorder known as priapism. A super-tight cock ring can also cause damage to the spermatic cords, testicles or the penis.
If you get it just right, your penis will be larger, harder, veinier, and shinier than it has ever been, quite a unique experience. For best results, don’t use a cock ring, but instead, bind your penis behind the testicles with a strip of cloth, or large-diameter soft rope. Adjust the tightness so that blood can flow in, but not out. Leave it that hard for too long, however, and you’ll have to deal with a dull ache for the next few hours. Be very careful with this exercise, because it is possible to cause damage.
Occasionally a man will play with putting a very tight ring on a soft penis, or more commonly, will create a ring by winding behind the scrotum with a length of cord. In this situation, it is possible to have an orgasm without erection. The ejaculate will be prevented from squirting out. This is a dangerous practice because the penis has to be squeezed very tightly.
Speculum and cervical play: Some women enjoy playing with a speculum. This is a tool used in the medical world to look inside a vagina. Some are made of clear plastic, others from metal. They are like a pair of salad forks hinged together. Once inserted, they are cranked open with a locking mechanism, so the the speculum can be left in place and other procedures performed. In a typical gynocological exam, a pap smear is taken. This is where a swab is rubbed around the os the opening of the cervix or sometimes inserted a small way into the os, and then sent to a lab for analysis.
Whereas most women report that attempts to insert anything through the os into the cervix is painful, some enjoy the experience, and will push small diameter, smooth rods through the opening. Pens do nicely, as do sounds.
In most women, with a bit of effort, the os can be reached with a fingertip even without using a speculum, and light touching can be delightful. More than one women has reported liking fingers swirled around her cervix.
Having an orgasm with a speculum inserted can be an interesting experience, although one must be careful that the motion during orgasm doesn’t pinch the skin around the speculum. Having a speculum inserted by a friend can seem very vulnerable, and therefore arousing. There can hardly be anything more personal than having someone not only see your body, but into your body.
And a few women enjoy urethral stimulation while wearing a speculum. The urethra in a woman is much shorter than a man’s, and it can also be stretched wider. Some women, even from before adolescence, experimented with fingertips in the urethras. First contact within the urethra can cause a stinging sensation, but with practice, that sensation is replaced with pleasure. However, the urethra is very sensitive to both scratching and infection. Inserting things into the urethra can lead to bladder infection. Whereas most bladder infections are a mild inconvenience, they can, in some cases, be deadly.
Even fewer women enjoy urethral intercourse, but there are some who can manage it, and love it. After considerable stretching of the urethra, they can accept a man’s penis through the urethra into their bladders.
Vibrators were first produced in the late 1800s. Their original stated purpose was “to reduce female hysteria.”
Bacteria: The typical man has 42 species of bacteria living on his penis. But don’t be alarmed. There are even more bacteria on the hands.
Big Draw: Generally used in tantric sex or massage, this involves a man squeezing his PC muscle – the one that feels like resisting the urge to pee or squeezing his anus, taking very deep breaths and doing what he can to resist ejaculation just before and during an orgasm. The taoists who practice the big draw also visualize the energy that would have resulted in ejaculation passing up through the anus, then the spine, and working its way to the head. This can result in no ejaculation or an injaculation, in which the cum flows backward into the bladder, plus a spectacular head rush. If a man doesn’t ejaculate during the entire session, perhaps having performed the big draw several times, he may come away feeling vibrant and refreshed. Women can practice the big draw also. With approximately one out of three women, avoiding or reducing an orgasm is less significant, because they can have multiple orgasms in a single session, whereas most men and many women feel ‘finished’ after an orgasm and would have trouble continuing sexual activities. So, some women may feel less compelled to practice the big draw, or may not feel especially charged up by the experience.
According to at least one survey, approximately four percent of Americans self-identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual. According to other non-survey studies, approximately ten percent of the population is gay or lesbian.
Sexual activity releases endorphin which temporarily reduces pain. Sex or masturbation may be a good response to mild muscle pains or headaches.
Most products advertised to be aphrodisiacs don’t work. An aphrodesiac is a drug or natural product that is supposed to make a person attracted to you or horny. On the other hand, avocados are thought to have at least mild aphrodisiac qualities.
It has also been said that celery can be an aphrodesiac. How is it administered? You eat it. Doing so, causes reactions in your nasal cavity that may produce the sexually attractive phrenomes.
A male butterfly can detect the scent of a female butterfly from as far as seven miles (eleven kilometers) away, even though she secrets less than a millionth of an ounce.
Sexual activity, including masturbation, momentarily raises blood pressure. The degree to which it might rise can seem alarming. A healthy person can spike pressures of more than 200 over 120, much like the pressures a weight lifter hits. This pressure for a short period of time is quite common for someone in good health.
However, the long-term effects of masturbation and sex seems to reduce blood pressure, so one could say these activities are good for one’s health. Of course diet, exercise and stress management are more effective in controlling high blood pressure. Speaking of stress management, what better way to reduce stress than sex or masturbation?
Some drugs used recreationally during sex can have alarming effects on blood pressure. Poppers, if taken together with any of the Viagra-like drugs, can lower blood pressure sufficiently to cause real problems.
Poppers are a recreational drug in the alkyl nitrites family that when inhaled give the recipient a brief head rush. Additionally they relax smooth muscles including in the throat and anus, making poppers especially popular in the gay and bisexual sector.
Some short and long-term health concerns, including blindness, are associated with poppers, so their legal status varies. In the United States, they can be sold only for commercial purposes. Since their composition is similar to compounds used by industry, you can buy them in sex shops and some other retail outlets as “deodorizers,” “air fresheners,” or “DVD head cleaners.”
Only 27 out of every 100 men who are over 70 years old have trouble with impotence.
Remember Lorena and John Wayne Bobbitt? They were a lovely couple living in Manassas, Virginia and all was well until June 23, 1993. That night, they made national headlines when she cut the top half of his penis entirely off with a large knife while he was asleep. Still holding the severed penis, she then drove off in her car and tossed it out the window into a nearby field.
You’d think the story would end there, and poor old John would go through the rest of his life having to sit down to pee. But no, she thought it over, and decided it would be a good idea to dial 911, and let them know approximately where she threw his penis. John went to the hospital, and after a while, emergency workers found his penis. During a 9.5 hour operation, doctors managed to reattach it.
Now, it turns out that John might not have been the ideal husband and so Lorena’s action, while not very kind-hearted, could be at least understandable under the circumstances. In court, it was revealed that he was constantly violently abusive in many ways. Major infractions including beating her. Lesser infractions were stealing money she had earned, and having his orgasms, then quitting before she had hers. All in all, it was decided that she had acted out of temporary insanity brought on by his treatment of her. She was sent to a mental hospital for 45 days of evaluation. He was acquitted of rape. Two years later, they divorced.
John’s debts were through the roof after all the medical and legal expenses. In an attempt to cash in on his fame, he and some musician friends formed a band called The Severed Parts. The band was not financially successful.
He then appeared in a few adult films, leveraging his famous reattached penis which came out quite bumpy-looking, “Frankinpenis.”
In following years, John took a number of unskilled jobs such as bartender, pizza delivery, and tow truck driver. He has been in minor trouble with the law numerous times. According to a Wikipedia article, he was severely injured in a car accident in 2014.
Lorena has remarried and works to bring attention to the issue of domestic violence.
Unfortunately, shortly after this widely publicized crime, it was copied hundreds of times throughout the world, especially in Thailand. Most of the men weren’t as lucky as John Wayne Bobbitt.
Body Electric in Berkeley, California, is a school and meeting place for people interested in massage techniques. They don’t shy away from what might be called sexual practices including tantric.
Tantric sex is very loosely founded on ancient Asian Indian meditative practices. The westernized version varies, but in general it involves a meditative environment, massage and enjoying sex without ejaculation. Men and women giving each other handjobs figures highly in tantric sex.
Body Electric had a men’s gathering on Thursday evenings that would be attended by about 30 to 40 men. The men would be organized in groups of three, each around a portable massage table. Two of the three guys would work on the third, giving him essentially a happy ending massage. The ideal was to not ejaculate, although that did happen. It was not frowned upon, but not encouraged.
After twenty minutes, the action would switch to the next guy, so that after an hour, each person would have had one massage, and given two. As is the case in so many such activities, it was as much fun giving as getting. The men went away from those sessions feeling particularly charged up.
Castration: Removal of one or both testicles. This concept holds an unlikely fascination for many men and women. Some women fantasize about removing their mens’ testicles, for various reasons. Some of these fantasies are just vented frustration. Some are a kind of morbid curiosity. Some men actually fantasize about having their testicles removed, and a few have done it voluntarily. Castration can also happen for medical reasons, although it is rare. When a man has had his testicles removed, hormone therapy can allow that man to have an almost entirely normal life. When a testicle has been removed for medical reasons, it is sometimes replaced by a silicone ball of the same size, so the man does not appear abnormal. Removal of one testicle is called hemi-castration.
If you’ve been catheterized in a medical situation, you may not have any liking for catheter play. Your hospital experience may have hurt, especially if the catheter was removed quickly. Many hospital personnel don’t realize what’s happening, sensation-wise, when they apply catheters.
In the not too distant past, nurses and doctors practiced most of their techniques on each other, or people paid to pose as patients, including catheterization. Now, they often use plastic models, and so don’t know exactly what sensations they are invoking in their patients.
Catheter play is an extension of sounding, the practice of sliding objects into one’s urethra. But catheter play goes all the way through into the bladder. A catheter is a flexible hollow tube. Once placed, urine can flow through the tube. Some people play with irrigating the bladder. This is very dangerous because the lining of the bladder is not like skin. It has very little protection against infection. The lining of the urethra and bladder are also mechanically weak. They are easily scratched or even punctured.
A medical device known as a retention catheter is a tube within a tube that has a small balloon on the end. Once introduced into the bladder, the balloon can be filled with saline fluid via a syringe on the outside end of the catheter. The catheter is then retained. It will not come out until the balloon is deflated. The catheter can be blocked so urine does not flow until the user (or the user’s master) so desires, or the urine can be let out at any time. The catheter can be worn over a long period of time, but keep in mind that it is not natural and likely to cause trouble to your urethra and bladder if left too long. One problem can be that the lube used to slide the catheter in dries up or is absorbed by the urethra, so removing the catheter will cause too much friction.
If you must play with catheters, you’ll find the feeling as it slides through the sphincters in both men and women is exquisite.
Caverject: A brand name for Prostaglandin E1, a prescription drug that can be injected directly into the copora cavernosa, the main blood containing portions of the penis, resulting in a hard, nearly instant erection.
CFNM is an acronym for Clothed Female, Naked Male. This is typically a mild BDSM (Bondage, Sadism, Masochism) scene in which one or more males are naked in the presence of women wearing clothes. What happens within these scenes is as wide as the imagination. CFNM can refer to a group of men in a public pool with no swimsuits while the women are suited, as was more common in an earlier era. Or, it can mean much more, such as women dressed as nurses, abusing the genitals of naked men. A very common scenario is for one or more women to tie a man to a bed and gently tickle his stomach, thighs, feet, neck, armpits, and maybe even his genitals.
An erection almost always requires mental stimulation. If someone were to give any imaginable treatment to a penis during a time a man is distracted, or not sexually aroused, it might not become hard, other than with artificial means such as Caverject or electro-stimulation.
On the other hand, just the thought of something sexual can cause an erection, no physical stimulation needed. As a boy reaches the adolescent years, he’ll tend to have several uncontrolled erections every day. This can be embarrassing, when, for instance, the child is called to the front of the class to recite or demonstrate something. The boy hunches forward, tries to turn away from the class as much as possible, and hopes no one sees the bulge in his pants.
As the boy ages, the erections become more controllable, and often don’t last as long. However, most men well into their 80s and beyond can still have erections.
Something many men don’t realize is that an erection in itself can be an endgame. You can simply enjoy the alive, aroused feeling of having an erection. You don’t necessarily need to go through the routine of stimulation, orgasm and ejaculation to have a great time.
There’s something wonderfully stimulating, and even freeing about simply having an erection in unusual situations. For many men, the first time you have an erection outdoors can be sweet. Feeling the cold breeze on your schlong with your underwear around your knees deep in the woods, or on a secluded stretch of beach is just great.
For some, a bit of exhibitionism adds to the power of an erection. To let other people see your boner can be a treat, in the right circumstances. Most men are wise enough to avoid going naked along a freeway or in the public library. But the first time with the lights on with your girlfriend, or in a bathhouse, or a masturbation party, can positively change your life.
Hermaphrodite: When a rare individual has ambiguous sexual organs, that person has hermaphroditism. Typically, the adult breast size is small, but not non-existent, and there is more body hair than a typical female would have, yet less than a male. The other most noticeable difference is that the person who might most often be assumed to be female, has a clitoris that is particularly large. The clitoris can have an erection, sticking more than an inch out of the body, yet there are also internal and external labia. The large, erect clitoris can be stimulated to orgasm by rubbing the sides, but ejaculation in the typical sense does not occur.
Often, hermaphrodite babies are ‘corrected’ at birth, being surgically altered to look like one sex or the other. They sometimes have difficulties as they come into maturity, becoming dissatisfied with the gender assignment they received.
Children: Boys can have erections from before they are born. It has been seen in many fetal ultrasound pictures. They don’t generally have orgasms or ejaculate until adolescence. Most children don’t have much knowledge of or interest in sex until their bodies start to mature. This innocence should probably be maintained as much as is reasonable, because anything that’s psychologically troubling for a child can have effects that last a lifetime.
That’s why our society frowns heavily on pedophilia, sexual interest in children. What may seem like a simple act of kissing or fondling, or even just discussing sexual concepts in the wrong way, can literally damage a child for life. The mental processes that ensue can confuse kids tremendously, resulting in assumptions or conclusions formed in not-fully developed brains that stick in their unconscious minds forever, and destroy their self-confidence, and ability to make rational decisions. For instance, a child who’s body has reacted with a pleasurable response to a sexual act will feel that s/he is to blame, is a horrible person, and must work very hard to keep secrets.
Approximately thirty percent of the world’s men are circumcised. That’s about one billion circumcised men, and 2.5 billion uncircumcised men.
Circumcision has been practiced for thousands of years before anesthesia and before antibiotics, starting with Jewish and Muslim cultures. Fortunately, it worked out most of the time. But not always. Some babies actually died of infection after their circumcisions.
Circumcision took on new life in America in the made 19th century. Many ‘modern-thinking’ Americans worked themselves into a panic that the ‘nasty’ habit of masturbation was a totally bad thing, and should be prevented at all costs. This is what they thought and said, even though they themselves did it all the time – and felt terribly guilty about it.
It was assumed that circumcision reduced interest in masturbation, so by all means, cut your baby. Doctors said that babies haven’t yet developed feelings, so cutting off their foreskins didn’t actually hurt them. Screaming and crying during and after the circumcision was obviously evidence of something else. Maybe the baby was hungry or something.
Have you ever known an adult man who is frequently grouchy, quiet, or cynical? Your author has a theory that one explanation for this condition is a decision that was made as a baby. You see, psychologists tell us that as very young children we make assumptions about the world, and these can stick in our unconscious minds all our lives. Perhaps the circumcised boy made the assumption that it is a painful, awful world, and has never quite let that notion go.
There is some evidence that circumcision cuts down on STDs, especially HIV among heterosexual men.
Occasionally, a circumcision is botched, and the baby ends up with a deformed penis.
Circumcision as an adult may not always be as comfortable as one might hope. The glans, which has always been covered, and kept moist, is suddenly exposed, being constantly rubbed against underwear, and can be quite annoying for quite a while until the man gets used to the new condition.
Female circumcision is less common, but it has happened to thousands of girls. The actual practice varies, ranging from trimming the inner labia to removal of the clitoris (or more specifically, the tip of the clitoris). It supposedly reduces sexual appetite, but the human body is adaptable. Some circumcised women can still have orgasms.
In some cultures, this is done so the girls won’t grow up into women who want too much sex, especially outside of marriage. The thinking in these male-dominated cultures goes that a woman should submit to sex at any time her husband wants, but there is no need for her to enjoy it.
Kegel exercises are a series of exercises more commonly done by women to ease childbirth and to help with urinary incontinence, but also thought to have some value in maintaining an erection, and avoiding premature ejaculation. These affect the PC muscle on the floor of the pelvis. You tighten this muscle when you try to tighten your anus, stop urination, or raise an erect penis. They should be performed at least twice a day for several minutes each time. The general idea is that you squeeze your anus and everything in that area as hard as you can for several seconds, then release, several times in a row. If a man is erect at the time, the penis may move slightly upward. Try to exaggerate that movement as much as you can.
Clamps: People into BDSM (bondage and sado-machochism) will often use a variety of clamps in a variety of ways. Some are designed to hold the recipient down so various techniques can be administered that are too intense to take without squirming or trying to get away. More often, clamps are applied to the nipples or genitals. Just about any kind of clamp can be used. Typical ones are clothes pins, spring-loaded gluing clamps, hemostats, and vise-grips.
Among the most intense play for women is to apply clamps directly to the nipples, inner labia or even the clitoris. For men, the testicles are a vulnerable target, with ever-increasing pressure to one or both testicles. Testicles are tougher than you might think. They have a very rubbery, strong outer layer that can take a lot of squeezing without rupturing. Generally, the recipient will give up due to pain way before any physical harm can be done. However, one should be careful, of course. Repeated play can desensitize the testicles. Another consideration is sharp edges. Not only can a sharp edge hurt the scrotum, it can potentially disrupt the testicle’s covering, causing a rupture. Finally, stay away from the epididymis, the connections on the back side of the testicles, since they can be torn away, ruptured, or compressed in a way that causes liquid-filled cysts to form.
Interestingly, the instant of removal of clamps can be painful compared to the application. Evidently, the tissue being squeezed gets used to the pressure, and then sensitive to the sudden removal of pressure.
A digital rectal exam, or DRE is a medical test in which a nurse practitioner or doctor inserts a gloved finger through a person’s anus to check for rectal, uterine, or prostate problems. Most people do not like this procedure, and going for an exam with the notion that it is unpleasant makes it so. A few people look forward to it, and they tend to actually enjoy the attention. Some men will become erect during this, or other examination procedures. Medical personnel are used to the occasional man who becomes erect, and generally assure the patient that it is normal. It is quite uncommon, but men have ejaculated during their exams.
What may alarm more conservative men is that when the prostate is pressed with fingertips, not only does it feel good in a sexual way, even if during an exam, but it can cause some semen to leak out of the penis, which may feel like a mini-ejaculation.
Some people have strongly sexual fantasies about medical exams.
Occasionally, a patient will run into a medical practitioner who has perfected the art of making the exam as arousing as possible, without seeming anything other than professional. It can start with asking the patient to be more naked than necessary for longer than necessary. Seemingly innocent light touching of the genital area goes on for longer than necessary, perhaps while asking intimate questions, or explaining something in great detail. For the man, a hernia check with the practitioner’s face quite close helps. Then the digital rectal exam. Or perhaps first, the patient’s testicles need to be checked (fondled), looking ostensibly for lumps. The peehole should be opened with the fingertips and examined, and finally, the penis should be slowly and carefully palpated all the way from the base to the tip.
Your author talked with a woman who was borderline anorexic for a while, and finally had to go to the hospital when she became weak from not eating enough. The doctor in the emergency room placed a speculum in her vagina to do an exam, and she said it was a very strange, and wonderful sensation. She felt like she was ‘really being cared for,’ and during the exam, she orgasmed. Fortunately, she was soon released, accepted psychiatric help for her eating disorder, and started living a normal life, and is in great health today. Women frequently have orgasms during medical exams.
People are starting to become aware that the way babies are delivered has been quite wrong for a century or more. Having a woman lay on her back means that the baby has to be pushed up and over the coccyx bone (tailbone). A better approach is to deliver the child in a squatting position, which not only eliminates the bone problem, but utilizes gravity to help the baby emerge. In some cultures the babies are born into a warm bath. Under these circumstances, the whole process of childbirth can not only be much faster, but is much less painful. Sometimes entirely pain-free. Occasionally women will report that they had an orgasm during the moment of birth.
Ejaculate: I think we all know what this means. What you may not know is that Ron Weasely ejaculated in the Harry Potter book, The Order of the Phoenix. Yes, that phrase is really in there, “Ron ejaculated loudly.” However, the author, J.K, Rowling used it in a less common and entirely different definition of the word, which means to “exclaim suddenly.”
Erectile Dysfunction: This is a common condition in which a man cannot get an erection when wanted. Most men experience this at one time or another, and it can last anywhere from a few minutes to the rest of one’s life. This has two potential causes. One is physical. Perhaps the man has vascular troubles or has had an operation such as a prostatectomy that cut the nerves. The other, and more common cause is psychological.
Medical professionals have a nifty trick to find out whether the cause is mental or physical. They’ll have a man apply a ring of postage stamps around his penis before going to bed at night. Men without physical causes will have up to nine erections at night. If he has a nocturnal erection, the ring of stamps will be broken.
Addiction: Oh, yes, men and women can become addicted to intercourse or masturbation. How do you know whether you’re addicted? The definition of addiction is that it interferes with your work or social life. If you’ve quit golfing with your buddies, no longer attend PTA meetings, or if you’re at risk of losing your job due to pursuing sexual partners or staying home and wanking all the time, you’re addicted.
One woman who had to come home and masturbate directly after work instead of watching TV, every day. She’d rub herself to as many as 200 orgasms in a one or two-hour session. But, she was doing well in her job, her social life, and even her health. If she had rubbed herself raw, that would be another matter. So was she addicted? Evidently not.
If you’re addicted to something else, for instance drugs or smoking, you might try getting addicted to masturbation instead. Challenge yourself. Can you do it? Your author believes it is easier to replace one addiction with another, rather than just stopping something altogether. Of course this is simplistic, but it might be worth a try, don’t you think?
Gay, anal intercourse.
Very rough sexual play.
Alprostadil: One of the PGE (Prostaglandin E1 family of drugs, this is a urethral suppository that promotes erection. Push a tablet into your man’s peehole about ten minutes before you want him to have a good, strong erection, and you’re all set!
Two of the most painful male piercings are the ampallang and the apadravya. Both are piercings that pass entirely through the glans, the head of a penis. Like most piercings, these are done without any sort of anesthesia. Once the hole is created, a rod is passed through with balls on either end to keep it from slipping out. The ampallang passes through from left to right, and the apadravya is from top to bottom. Both are usually placed so they pass directly through the urethra. The apadravya is said to be particularly pleasant in vaginal and anal sex, since it can stimulate the G-spot, A-spot, or prostate gland.
These piercings should be placed ahead of the corposa cavernosa, the spongy chambers that fill with blood during an erection, because if punctured, they tend to bleed profusely, and do not always heal properly.
Speaking of dangerous piercings, the skin pretty much anywhere can be pierced, and a permanent bit of jewelry installed, even in the scrotum. However, piercing the testicles, other than temporarily, is inviting big-time troubles. Oh, yes, some people do play pierce testicles. Generally, long thin needles are used. Oddly, it’s not particularly painful. The skin of the scrotum is more sensitive than the testicles themselves. Even though it usually works out just fine, this is a risky procedure because an infection inside an organ such as a testicle can be very difficult to cure.
Even though the penis does not contain any bones, it can be fractured. When a fracture happens, the side of one of the corpora cavernosa, the spongy chambers that fill with blood, bursts, resulting in a painful leak of blood, and often a bump, a bend, and sometimes a blue-black coloration. Fractures most frequently happen during particularly exuberant intercourse with the woman on top. She’ll bounce up and down, but on one of the downstrokes, the penis and vagina aren’t aligned quite right, and her full weight is just too much to take. Other sexual activities can cause penile fractures, so be careful of anything that can forcefully bend the erect penis. Some men have been known to fall out of bed with an erection, and end up with a fracture. Approximately 200 Americans per year suffer penile fractures. So, the chances of having it happen to you during the next year are less than one in a million. During an adult lifetime: About one in 27,000. The numbers might be somewhat higher, since not everyone who suffers a penile fracture will report it. Time and rest can heal some fractures. Others require surgical intervention involving degloving.
Penile fracture is often accompanied by an audible, even loud, crack.
Here’s a happy ending story from a client that you might enjoy:
Our coach said if we won the Regionals, he’d have a surprise for us. We won, and he came through on his end of the bargain. We were to each get a personal massage. I wasn’t sure I wanted that. The whole idea was kind of embarrassing. I mean, to have a stranger touching your body? But, I figured I’d go ahead with it. I didn’t want to turn down the coach’s gift. Plus, the other guys seemed to want it, and I didn’t want to stick out as a sore thumb or something.
So, Tuesday afternoon rolled along and I was to be the third guy in line at 5pm. The massage practitioner was probably around 50 years old, a bit chubby, but she seemed cheerful enough. She had set up some sort of portable bed – she called it a “massage table” in the locker room and was doing the two guys before me in there.
I didn’t hang around, figuring I’d get some homework done in an empty classroom before my 5pm appointment.
When I finally arrived, the massage woman was gone. The coach explained she wasn’t feeling well and rescheduled me and two other guys for Thursday afternoon. I was to be the first on Thursday, right after my last class, at 3pm. I was unclear as to how I felt about that. On the one hand, I had escaped the Tuesday session, so I wouldn’t have to deal with that at least until Thursday. On the other hand, I was kind of disappointed to have to wait. I didn’t really know what a massage was, but it was supposed to be something nice. A treat. A reward. But, I also kind of equated it with something only women get, like a pedicure or something.
So finally, Thursday came, and I showed up for my appointment in the locker room. Two of my teammates were there. They said they’d just hang around until it was their turn. That was fine by me, or so I thought at the time.
So this massage person, her name was Beth, told me to strip off everything and get under a sheet she had put on her portable bed thing. No big deal, I had taken many showers with the two guys, so I didn’t mind getting naked in front of them. Plus it was only for a moment until I got on her bed thing. I did feel pretty weird about her seeing me naked, but I dealt with it, doing my best not to show any reaction or emotion about that. I kind of figured if she can be professional about it, I can too.
She had me lay face down, and started massaging my shoulders and the back of my next. Hey, it wasn’t bad! I was a bit weirded out for a second about this woman who was older than my mother touching me like that, but it turned out to be a nice feeling. She proceeded to work on my legs, arms, back and my butt. For the butt, she had removed the sheet, but I decided that was OK.
Suddenly, I realized my prick had gotten hard against the bed. Geez! Well, it was well hidden under my body. The woman was now kind of stretching my ass cheeks apart with some oily strokes of her fingers, and my penis was becoming super hard, and a bit uncomfortable under my belly. On the other hand, I was really enjoying the butt spreading thing. I mean, here I was, and a fat, 50-year-old woman was stroking my ass, and I was getting horny! The thought scared me a bit, but I think the thought also added to the horniness. A couple of times, her fingertips brushed against the back of my scrotum. I do believe she did that intentionally, but I didn’t care. No, let me rephrase that: I loved the tickling sensation.
Beth hadn’t said much. In fact the whole room was quiet. The other two guys and the coach all had their heads in their phones, reading ebooks, texting, or something. Then Beth asked a weird question: Would I like a “happy ending?”
I didn’t know what that meant, but it sounded like some sort of massage thing I’d probably enjoy. I said, “Sure.”
Beth asked me to roll over. ‘Oh, geez,’ I was thinking. The guys, the coach, and Beth were going to see my woodie. Not good! Not good! So I kind of froze. Beth said “Roll over” just a bit louder, but sweetly, and started to push against my shoulder and lower back, starting me in a rolling over motion. So what could I do?
I went with it, and ended up with my prick sticking up straight in the air. Interestingly, the coach and the other two guys had stopped looking at their phones. Now, they were staring at me – at my face, and at my penis! And they were kind of smiling. I decided not to care. After all, what could I do, exactly?
So, Beth continued with her treatment. She started ever so lightly tickling my scrotum. No one has ever done that to me. In fact, never in my life have I ever been touched there by anyone other than a five-second exam by a doctor every year. I must say, it felt fantastic! In her tickling, she started working her way slowly up the base of my prick, until she was ever so gently rubbing her thumb over that part of my penis just below the head. The portion of skin that is a kind of folded under the head. I was rock hard, of course, and just about ready to cum. I mean right in front of the coach and the guys. That would be fully embarrassing, but what choice did I have at that point? But then Beth stopped. She must have known. After a minute, she resumed with the very light touching. She touched all over the head of my prick. Then, she started ever so slightly moving the skin on the sides of my prick up and down, just like I do when I masturbate, but slower, and with gentler strokes. That’s all I took, I blew a load all over my stomach. To my surprise, I shot quite hard, with one spurt hitting me in the chin and across my mouth.
The two guys kind of cheered, and the coach smiled. Beth told me there were five minutes left in my hour, and that I should just lay still, only getting off her tall bed thing when I was ready.
It did take me a few minutes to compose myself. Then, I was thinking about what I had missed out on. The other day, I could have stayed in the locker room and seen my first two teammates get their massages. In retrospect, I wouldn’t have missed that for the world. Who would have figured I’d actually want to see such a thing? But I truly did want to watch! Well, at least, I could stay and see the next two guys get their appointments.
Which I did, and enjoyed watching almost as much as I enjoyed getting the treatment. Both of them also elected for the ‘happy ending.’ (I was worried that they may not.)
So anyway, after that day, we never had a massage from Beth again. It was a one-off thing. But several of us guys talked about the massages, and started giving them to each other. The coach had found an old beat-up massage table somewhere, and it has become a permanent fixture in the locker room. So far, the coach has been invited several times to get a happy ending massage from us, but has declined every time. He says it would be inappropriate. Personally, I don’t think so, but whatever. For some reason, I keep fantasizing about being the guy who gives the coach his first happy ending. And, weirder than that, I have fantasies about massaging my sister, and, believe it or not, Beth. Oh, how I’d love to get my hands on a woman’s breasts, and play with her vagina!
Hanging: Men have been known to have erections when hanged.
In the early part of the 20th century, doctors assumed implanting testicles from various animals might help men who were suffering from erectile dysfunction. They used gonads from goats, sheep, pigs, baboons and chimpanzees. The procedure completely didn’t work, and the foreign material was simply, yet painfully absorbed by the body, but it didn’t stop thousands of men from asking for the procedure.
Judeo-Christian Religion: It seems much of our modern religious culture disdains sex. It wasn’t always that way. Many ancient religions held sex in the highest regard, celebrated sex as a form of worship, and saw it as being God-like.
Cold feet: In one study, women who had trouble having orgasms were given warm socks, and their ability to climax increased.
Frenulum: Also known as frenum, or more specifically, frenulum preputii penis. This is the little fold of skin on the bottom side of the penis just below or just before the glans (head of the penis). In a survey conducted by urologists in 2009, men rated this the most sensitive part of their bodies.
Stimulating the frenulum can be quite enjoyable. For best results use a finger, the corner of a sheet of toilet paper, or simply a fingertip, touching the frenulum as lightly as possible. For many men, this is a unique experience, and nearly impossible to impart to other men. We often just aren’t that lightweight in our activities. Think of rebuilding a wristwatch or petting a parakeet. That’s the kind of light touch that works best. In fact, you can start by not stroking the frenulum at all a few times, just stroking the air above it, until you finally lower down sufficiently to just barely touch it. If a man is laying on his back, and his penis is already erect, the super-light touch can actually make it jump an inch in the air. Separate each touch by several seconds, and you can experience the jumping action many times.
This super-light touching of the frenulum is a great place to start with foreplay, since it won’t usually bring orgasm all by itself, yet is totally enjoyable in its own right.
It has the special advantage that it teaches a man how lightly to stroke a woman’s inner labia and clitoris, giving the man a sense of what she’s feeling. A very common complaint is that men just don’t know how to touch a woman lightly enough. Many women will enjoy a heavier touch later in a session, but most like super-light touching at first. Also, men, be patient. Don’t touch your woman lightly for sixty seconds, and think that’s enough. Just keep it up for five whole minutes, or even more, and see what happens. I think you’ll be delighted with the results.
Some circumcised men have had their frenulum removed also. No problem, it isn’t the frenulum itself that is the source of all the sensitivity. It is the whole general area of skin a the underside of the glans, so the sensations remain approximately the same.
Sometimes uncircumcised men have a long enough foreskin that even when hard, the frenulum is buried. No problem, that part of the foreskin over the frenulum is almost equally sensitive.
Another technique that can be particularly enjoyable is pulling of the frenulum. It can be stretched quite a bit. Lifting the penis a couple of inches away from the stomach by the frenulum can be sufficiently amazing to cause some guys to ejaculate with no additional stimulation.
The penis isn’t the location of the only frenulum in the human body. It refers to any bridge of tissue, such as the one under the tongue, and the one behind the middle of the upper lip.
Frenulum Breve: A condition in which the frenulum is too short, pulling the glans downward, and sometimes causing pain during erection or intercourse. A simple surgical procedure repairs this condition. Quite possibly exercises would do the job also.
Frenum ladder: A series of piercings that run along the underside of the penis, starting at the frenulum.
Leather: For many participants in sexual activity, costuming is very important, and leather often is part of that costuming. It generally implies a male-oriented, usually gay scene among males, but can also be worn by women, especially if they are playing a dominant role. Leather accessories include jackets, pants, collars, hats and sometimes implements such as whips. ‘Leather’ has taken on a meaning beyond the material. It can also refer to the gay BDSM scene in general.
No discussion of sex would be complete without blowjobs, the act of entertaining a man by putting his penis in one’s mouth. Some say it is not ‘real’ sex. This notion got former US president Bill Clinton into quite a bit of hot water, when he said, “I did not have sex with that woman.”
To execute a blowjob properly, one needs to be careful to avoid biting the penis. Keep the teeth away as much as possible. Just putting the penis in the mouth is wonderful for most men, but some prefer as much engagement as possible. Others like swirling the tongue over the glans, or building a vacuum in the mouth.
Practitioners who can swallow a penis in its entirety can open the throat, resist the gagging effect, and perform what’s called deep throat blowjobs. Practice makes perfect.
Once a year, the Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco hosts a big party in which more than a hundred men and women, mostly strangers, of all ages and from all walks of life, come together, get naked and masturbate. One year, I attended. The sexual energy in the room was super-high, yet it was the safest group sex imaginable. It was without a doubt the best party I’ve ever attended. I’ll tell you all about it – the people who were there, what they said, what they did, even down to the ways they actually masturbated. Some were quite unique!
You might like to know how such a party came about. So, let’s start with the history of the Masturbate-A-Thon.
Back in 1994, U.S. Attorney General Dr. Joycelin Elders was asked at a United Nations conference on AIDS whether it would be appropriate to promote masturbation as a means of preventing young people from engaging in riskier forms of sexual activity. She said, “I think that it is part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught.”
That’s all. Seeming innocuous, right? Well, many people got all in a twist about that, including President Clinton, who promptly fired her. To be fair, she had made other slightly controversial statements in the past. The administration must have felt that talking about masturbation in any way, shape or form made her a loose cannon.
So now, she’s a professor of pediatrics, and most of the modern world continues to teach only very limited abstinence-only sex education, never giving young people the whole picture. And that’s even in light of the many studies that have proven time and again that abstinence-only is not working.
People will be sexual in one form or another. Doesn’t it make sense then, to de-stigmatize masturbation? If people can be taught that it is OK, it would certainly cut down on riskier sexual behavior. Don’t you think?
Meanwhile, Dr. Elders accepts occasional speaking engagements about how our country, in fact the whole world, needs more well-rounded sex education.
When you think about it, she’s right, isn’t she? Isn’t masturbation a pretty good solution to many problems?
First, if people could be allowed to feel that masturbation is OK, then they might be able to relieve their sexual tensions, resulting in everything from less awkward social conversations (because we all get weird when we’re too horny), to reduction of unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.
Fortunately, we are already in an age where masturbation has become a bit more mainstream. In the past, even though almost everyone engaged in it, we were all ashamed and quite often feeling guilty. To cover these emotions, many people would perpetuate the myth that masturbation is somehow a ‘bad’ thing.
For the longest time, if you were to ask practically anyone whether they engaged in masturbation, they’d universally answer “No!” even though they secretly masturbated all the time.
They punished their kids for masturbating, sometimes severely.
Some babies had their arms tied in cardboard carpet tubes so they wouldn’t touch their own genitals.
And yet, masturbation sessions eliminate social tension and unwanted pregnancies. Go figure! Furthermore, masturbation makes real sex, when it does occur, better. People know more about themselves. What feels good, what they want. And they learn to prevent premature ejaculation.
If that isn’t enough, a study done in 2003 indicates that men who masturbate several times a week have a lower incidence of prostate cancer.
Although your author can’t prove it, I believe masturbation also increases vitality and mental clarity.
But many people, maybe even most people, still feel guilty about it. Crazy stuff!
About a year after the US Surgeon General got canned, the the San Francisco-based nonprofit Center for Sex and Culture declared May as Masturbation Month, partly in response to what happened to Dr. Elders for speaking out about it.
Nothing much happened that year. A bit of publicity. A bit of smirking news coverage. But it set some quiet wheels in motion. In the next couple of years, the Center for Sex and Culture received more funding, and started having events – classes, workshops and parties celebrating positive sexuality. The primary goal: Let people get a balanced and educated knowledge of good sexuality, not the half-knowledge that exists in much of the world today.
Over the next few years, the Center’s range of activities grew. One year someone mentioned, “Wouldn’t it be something if there was a ‘masturbate-a-thon’ just like there are walk-a-thons?” The thread quickly became a major topic among some erudite individuals including Dr. Carol Queen, and Dr. Richard Lawrence. They are psychologists who specialize in sexual study and education.
We don’t know exactly how the idea evolved in the offices of the Center for Sex and Culture, but it probably went something like this:
“Just like a walk-a-thon, people could have their friends, family and co-workers sign pledge forms. Except, instead of paying a certain amount per mile, it could be per orgasm.”
“Or, per minute.”
“Oh, right, that would be much easier to monitor.”
“Or, they could just pledge a flat rate.”
“Sure, that could work, too.”
“Imagine the positive publicity.” In the process of getting people to pledge, our volunteers would be bringing the topic of masturbation out in the open. They’d be legitimizing something that has been badly and inappropriately stigmatized for so long.”
“Now, you’re preaching to the choir.”
“Yes, but you see what I mean, right? This would be an excellent grass roots way to spread the word. To start meaningful conversations about masturbation.”
“So, how would this work, exactly?”
“Well, hmm. I suppose we could pick a date. Like May 25. Everyone gets pledges until that day. Then they go home, wank, tell their plegees what they accomplished (laughs), collect the money, and mail it to us.”
“Yah, like who’s going to do that? I mean, sure they may talk about it, the people may pledge, and the people will go home and masturbate, but then what? Do you think we’ll actually get some money?”
“Even if we didn’t get a penny, we’d be doing a lot to spread the message that masturbation isn’t a ‘bad’ thing, but actually a ‘good’ thing.
“Hey, I’ve got an idea. We have this building, and for that matter, we can rent bigger buildings.”
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Right, we hold an actual public event. People could come to a party-like event on May 25th or whatever, and we all jerk off together. A bunch of strangers in the room, wanking. What publicity that would bring! And what a positive event for those who have always wanted to masturbate among others in a safe environment.”
“We could do that, but do we dare?”
“People are becoming more enlightened, but would the public be ready for this?”
“Well, I’m thinking that all of San Francisco wouldn’t participate, at least not the first year. But certainly some people would.”
“I’m thinking, what if we combine both ideas? Everyone can get pledges. Some can wank at home. That would be the people who are just to shy to jerk off in public. But those with more exhibitionist tendencies could come to our group meeting.”
“What about entertainment? Celebrities? I know Nina Hartley. She was a huge porn star about 20 years ago. Now she’s authoring sex-positive books. I’ll bet she’d come to this. Maybe even be a headliner. Maybe even help with promotion.”
“Maybe we could get some pole dancers.”
“And a live rock band or jazz band or two.”
“Geez, imagine the publicity we could get!”
“Hey, and we could hold competitions. Like who can last the longest.”
“And which man can shoot the farthest.”
“And who can have the most orgasms.”
“Don’t you think that the number of orgasms would hard to monitor?”
“Who cares? There would have to be parts of this whole thing in which we trust people. Especially whether the people who pledge would actually pay. So I say, let’s just trust people.”
“People will love a public space that validates masturbation.”
“What way to de-stigmatize self-love!”
Well, as you can imagine, the conversation continued. The board of directors became emboldened, and finally, they unanimously voted to hold the first ever Masturbate-A-Thon on May 21, 2000.
A website announcing the event was created. Fliers were created and distributed in a few places. Local media were sent press releases.
And the Masturbate-A-Thon became real. It was to be, “a comfortable and good-humored event.” It did happen. And it went on every May for a few years and no doubt improved with age.
One day seven years after the original Masturbate-A-Thon, your author, who lived only 30 miles away at the time, saw a link to the Masturbate-A-Thon website from a San Francisco Weekly article that said, in part:
“The Masturbate-a-thon [is] a sort of utopia, in which the sexual energy in the room builds, and the different masturbators inspire and arouse each other, and nobody’s touching and yet everyone is there, together, surfing the orgasm wave.”
I couldn’t believe my eyes. This was exactly in line with my vague dreams that people ought to be able to masturbate together if they want. And so on May 20, 2007, I went on down to San Francisco.
Whoa, back up a second! The story starts a bit before May 20, 2007 for me. The day I found out, I downloaded and printed out a pledge form. Now, I didn’t have to get pledges, but I wanted to. You see, according to what I read at the website, I could have simply paid $40 as a flat pledge for myself at the door.
But that felt like cheating, and it sidestepped the purpose. Remember, the real purpose of the Masturbate-A-Thon was to bring public awareness of the positive aspects of masturbation. And by getting pledges, that’s exactly what would happen.
The first two pledges were easy. I signed up a guy who I had wanked with a time or two. I signed up a female co-worker with whom I had a very good conversational relationship. She and I had talked about masturbation in various contexts before. My guy friend was willing to pledge $0.05 per minute, and she came in with a whopping $0.10. It doesn’t sound like much, but I figured I might be able to jerk off non-stop for an hour or more. OK, so it still doesn’t sound like much, and it wasn’t.
Then it got a little harder. Imagine telling some of your more conservative friends that you’re going to go to a public venue, jerk off, and you want them to pay for it! To say I was nervous about bringing it up would be a big understatement. In fact, I delayed for a few days.
Then one evening, about six friends and I had been throwing a Frisbee around in the park, and as darkness overtook us, we sat down on the lawn and started talking about various things, as we did every reasonably warm Wednesday evening. We were laughing, having a good time, and someone made a typical little joke about jerking off. Bang! That was my cue. I unfolded the pledge form from my pocket, and started my pitch.
“How much would someone have to pay you to masturbate in public?”
“Really! Let me explain why I asked.”
At that point I explained the Masturbate-A-Thon, starting with the Center for Sex and Culture, and what they do for a positive sexual attitude. My little group agreed that was good. Then I just told them about the Masturbate-A-Thon, as if it would be something that some people would do (not me of course). But then I dropped the bomb. I simply said, “I’m going,” and passed around my pledge sheet.
Guess what? Every one of my six friends signed it. The somewhat wealthy fellow in the group offered $0.25 per minute.
The gathering of pledges had the desired side-effect. Franklin, a thin man with a British accent, and the most gregarious among us, admitted to masturbating frequently. He also volunteered that he is bisexual. That opened the discussion about masturbation, especially the benefits of masturbation, which carried on a good fifteen minutes.
Then, I offered to give some of them a ride to the Masturbate-A-Thon. We could carpool. That was my round-about way of trying to get some of them to come along. A couple of my friends said “no way” right away. The remaining four said they’d think about it. As May 21 approached, however, no one was willing to come along.
But I was 100 percent gung-ho. Couldn’t wait!
You might like to know a bit more about me. I don’t usually like parties. I’m not one for getting drunk, and trying to converse over loud music. No thank you. But this was a party I had to attend, and I was pretty sure it wasn’t going to be a bunch of drunks talking too loud. In fact, alcohol wasn’t allowed.
Back in 2007, I was just a bit over 50 years old, maybe ten or twelve pounds overweight, but quite fit overall, medium height, male, white, bearded, and balding on top. Nothing much to look at, to be sure.
I’ve always liked to be on time or a little bit early for events. But this was a great big deal for me. Plus, it was an hour away, with traffic and all. For some reason, I couldn’t help myself. I arrived a full hour early. Got my car parked, and knocked on the door at the address provided. It was an unmarked warehouse. I wasn’t quite sure I had the right building. I was looking for a sign that said “Center for Sex and Culture,” or maybe at least a paper flier announcing the Masturbate-A-Thon. But this was just a small gray metal door on a three-story dark brick building.
So I knocked, not knowing what would happen, especially with me being early. I heard someone running down stairs inside, and shortly, the door opened. I was greeted by a twenty-something thin woman with long frizzy black hair, dressed like a hippie from the summer of love in Haight-Ashbury in 1967.
Being not quite sure I had the right address, I sheepishly asked whether this was the place for the Masturbate-A-Thon, while furiously trying to figure out how I would backpedal from that, if I did have the wrong address. But she said it was. Whew! She said, “But it doesn’t start until 4pm.”
“I know. I though maybe you could use a volunteer.”
“Hmm, let me check.”
She closed the door, and I stood there on the blazing hot sidewalk for probably three whole minutes until she returned. She said, “Welcome, come on up!”
I had absolutely no idea what to expect. She and I went through a brief industrial-like hallway with no decorations, and bland beige paint. We went up what seemed a rather long staircase. Maybe it was just seemed long because I was nervous. At the top was a typical converted warehouse. There were walls dividing some of the huge area into sections. Our stairs led us to a small foyer of sorts, containing a desk made out of a portable table and a few chairs. From there, led open doorways. Next to some of the doors were paper signs. One said “Masturbatorium.” Another said “Press Room.” Yet another said “Coat Check.” Most of the doorways didn’t have doors or the doors were propped fully open. The door to the coat check room was a Dutch door, with the bottom half closed. The top surface of the bottom half of the door had been made in to a narrow tabletop. I was to discover more about that soon enough.
No one was at the desk. In fact, no one was in the foyer except the dark-haired young woman, who saw me pause to look around. She beckoned me into the masturbatorium. That was a large room, perhaps 3,000 square feet, larger than a typical 7-11 convenience store. There were a couple of homemade walls partitioning off some small rooms in the corner. There was a wide variety of easy chairs, sofas, and large cushions on the floor, all of which looked like they were ‘rescues.’ None of them were torn or badly stained, but you could see they were old and well-used.
The room smelled like a typical old warehouse, vaguely reminiscent of sawdust. There was an assortment of lighting in the room, and I do mean ‘assortment.’ While the overall lighting was subdued, there was a wide variety of ceiling fixtures, floor lamps, and table lamps strewn about, plus some Christmas lights and reflector balls strung up here and there. There were a number of posters on the walls, most suggestively but not overtly sexual. I noticed that all the windows had been covered with cardboard or thin plywood or something, painted to match the gray walls on the inside.
It took a few minutes for my eyes to adjust to the lower light, having come in from a rare sunny San Francisco afternoon. After my eyes adjusted to the lower light, and I noticed the furniture, next I noticed the people. There were about eight people in the room. One woman was scurrying across the large room with a handcart stacked with cases of soda. Another was pulling a hundred bed sheets out of a half-dozen big wicker baskets. A guy who looked sort of like me was running some sort of thing that looked like an oversized carpet sweeper across the wooden floor. When he came to the various shag and oval carpets strewn about, he just went right over them. Being one who is fascinated by mechanical things of all sorts, I’d have to check that machine out later. I’d never seen anything quite like it. But what really caught my eye was two guys with a ladder. The somewhat overweight youngish white fellow on the floor was wearing a toolbelt bristling with pliers, screwdrivers and such things over his bluejeans. He was handing the end of a wire up to the guy on the ladder. The guy on the ladder was quite black. I’d guess he had 100% African ancestry. He appeared to be about 40 years old, had short black hair and looked quite fit – like someone who really works for a living. Oh, and one other thing. He was not circumcised. How did I know that? Because he was stark naked, and sporting an erection!
I didn’t notice that a guy had come up behind me. He yelled, “Robert!” I jumped about six inches in the air!
Robert Lawrence came out of a side room. He was tall but not overly tall, appeared to be in his late 50s, had short hair and was wearing nothing but a bathrobe.
The volunteer next to me said, “Robert, we have a new volunteer. What would you like him to do?”
I introduced myself. Somehow, I felt like I was in the presence of a movie star. I had heard of Robert Lawrence, now here he was talking to me in the flesh. He was a bit brusque, or harried, or hurried. Of course, I could understand. It was less than an hour to ‘showtime.’ After a super-quick introduction, he called over the guy pushing the floor sweeper, and had me take over the task. I was actually delighted, since I kind of wanted to play with that machine. The volunteer explained that the floor had to be scrupulously clean, since a lot of barefoot people would be walking around shortly. So I started pushing the machine across the room. It had wheels that turned brushes in front and on the sides. Fun!
Upon completing that task, I was assigned to help out Keith. Keith was the guy who had been on the ladder. He was still on the ladder, but in a different location. He was stringing microphone cables for the video crew. His helper had left, so I was his new floor man. Keith introduced himself with a flourish. He was instantly likable. We got done with a couple of cables, then he had to string some extension cords for lights.
I couldn’t just work with a fellow with a big erection without saying something, so I said, “Great erection!” He smiled. I was expecting some sort of explanation or dissembling or something, but got nothing. He just got off the ladder, and started walking toward a service elevator. He asked me to come along, as he had two boxes of extension cords to bring up. We went down in the elevator and out into the street! Wait a second. Keith was totally naked and still quite erect! But then I remembered, this was San Francisco, one of the few places where nudity is totally legal. (I think public nudity was changed back into a misdemeanor in 2012.) He walked the sidewalk to a parked van and extracted a box, asking me to grab the other box.
Back to the elevator, but we had to wait a bit, since someone else was using it. Keith started telling me his situation. He was from Los Angeles, California, and attends the Masturbate-A-Thon every year. He volunteered because he enjoys volunteering for things like this. He had been there since noon. Oddly, as we talked, his dick was staying hard. I liked seeing that. Like everyone, I’m on the bisexual scale. OK, some people are 99% hetero, and some 99% gay, but everyone is somewhere on that scale. I lean more toward women than men, but completely appreciate a male body, especially what I considered an exotic one, with a hardon.
We rode up in the elevator with an ordinary snack food delivery person with a hand truck of cartons. This guy was riding in a freight elevator with two men he’d never met, one of which was naked and erect. He handled it well. Never said a word, never seemed shocked.
After setting down the boxes of cords, Keith asked me to move the ladder. Robert was nearby and gave me a stern look, and said, rather gruffly, to not scratch the floor (the old, unpainted wooden, way-already-scratched-up floor). I was a bit embarrassed because I had dragged the ladder, but a bit upset about being ‘yelled at’ by Robert. I started to believe that Robert, although a nice guy, can be grouchy, especially just before an event is to start.
After a while, Keith had lost his spontaneous erection, and it didn’t seem to matter a bit to him whether he was hard or not. Oh, I wish I could be that free in my mind about such things!
I wasn’t quite sure what to do at this point. Being a bit of an exhibitionist, I wanted to join Keith in nudity, but on the other hand, none of the other volunteers were naked. Hmmm. Finally, I took all my clothes off, and draped them over the back of a sofa. No erection, but I still felt a bit weird, so a few minutes later, I put them back on.
Keith dispatched me to the library to get a box of light bulbs. I found the little room and was quite impressed. There were perhaps a thousand books and DVDs in there, and you guessed it, every single one had something to do with sex. I couldn’t resist browsing a page or two.
Next, Robert had a Salamander. This is a big propane heater and fan on wheels. He wanted me to guide his extension cord so he could blow heat into all the corners of the room, and the little rooms on the side. He explained that people are more comfortable taking their clothes off when the room is warm. Of course! But, I wouldn’t have thought of that.
Most of the hour before 4pm was used up. I was asked to sign in so the volunteers manning the administration desk could get some practice. I presented my pledge sheet. It was photocopied, rubber stamped and given back to me. I presented ID, which was also photocopied. I was given a wrist band that said I was an official participant! Neat-o! I also signed an optional model release form. This was because they had set up a platform as a stage. If anyone wanted to appear in the live Internet feed, and subsequent videos that might be made, they had to sign the form. That earned me another wrist band of a different color. I didn’t really think I’d ever be brave enough to show up nude on an international video feed, but signing up for that was free, and it would be nice to be prepared, just in case.
Next was the coat check. Actually, clothing check. I was directed to the room with the half-closed dutch door, and given a paper bag with a number on it, and a corresponding number on yet another wrist tag. I was instructed to take off all my clothes except my shoes or socks if I preferred, and put them in the bag. I felt a little vulnerable being at such a weird event, and have all my clothes, wallet, keys and everything in the charge of someone else! But I felt I could trust the volunteers in the clothing check room. I also felt vulnerable because besides Keith, I was now the only one who was naked, among a group that had swelled to about 20 volunteers. I found out that many were psychology interns with an interest in sexology, and they were working off a few of their 2,500 required internship hours before they could practice as professional psychologists. At first I felt a bit strange about that. Like I was their lab rat. But, I soon forgot about that.
I was called to the refreshment tables, to help put pretzels, candies and such things in bowls, as the very first members of the general public start streaming into the foyer.
Sometimes volunteering can be a bad thing. Or more specifically, it can feel weird. Or at least it did in this case. I was one of only two naked people, and the other one, Keith, had disappeared into a back room on a last-minute errand with the video people. Now, fully-clothed people were coming in off the street. Oh, how I wished I hadn’t so cheerfully offered to be the first person registered!
I probably should have been proud of being naked and free. I could have been overjoyed to be so fully expressing my exhibitionist tendency. Or fantasy, really. But no, I have to admit I was a bit freaked out. It’s as if I had been caught in junior high school pulling a prank that went too far, and was about to go to the principal’s office. I thought about going back to the library to kind of hide. I even took a couple of footsteps in that direction. But no, that was chicken-shit. I had to stick it out. At least my penis wasn’t sticking out. It had shriveled to about the smallest it could be. Maybe if it had fluffed up a little, that would have been nice.
Fortunately, my concerned state didn’t last long. People were getting registered, and a few individuals already had their clothing check bags in hand. Some were undressing right away. Others were kind of hanging back, as if to check whether it was really OK to disrobe in public.
Nudity was starting to become normal in front of the clothing check door, and into the masturbatorium.
Did I mention that not only am I a bit of an exhibitionist, at least in my fantasies, but also a voyeur? You bet! And I was delighted to see who was coming in. A very fit white guy, about 32 years old, about 5′ 11″ or 6′ 0″ feet tall was now totally naked. A really cool fellow who looked to be Hispanic, quite thin, about 50 years old was next. Then we had a short 20-something white woman with very long dark hair and a plump butt was next. Oh, look at that, she’s totally shaved! Then a sixty-something, heavyset gentleman. And a tall woman, perhaps 45 years old. Slightly saggy but large breasts, but I’m not a judge. I just notice these things. Then a waif. That’s how I describe her. Wait, I recognized her. She was one of the volunteers. She was now totally disrobed. She was very thin, couldn’t have been even five feet tall, with long, straight blond hair, small breasts, and a confident smile. Nice! A couple of older gents, perhaps in their seventies. A redheaded couple. Could they be brother and sister? He appeared to be of average height, just a touch overweight, like myself. He had very red curly hair, a bit of rosacia (natural redness) in his face too, and wearing nothing but glasses. His sister was an absolute knock-out. She had the same curly red hair, on her vagina too. She was of medium build, curvy but not fat, excellent rounded breasts that almost looked air-filled, and had beautiful big blue eyes.
And they kept coming in. I believe all-in-all, around 120 people showed up. They started filling the masturbatorium.
Most of the people were going for time. Their pledges were about how many minutes they could masturbate. No one told us whether we should start, wait for a signal, or just how this works. I was a bit surprised to find out that the interns didn’t really know what was going on either. Robert and Carol were nowhere to be found. I believe they had been detained in the press room.
So, some people had staked out the best looking sofas and were lazily just stroking themselves a little bit. A few erections here and there. Many people were standing in groups talking. Some evidently knew each other. I suppose most of the ones who knew others, like the redheaded brother and sister, had arranged to come to this event together. But, I’ll bet some were shocked to see their friends and neighbors here! Imagine seeing your co-worker, for instance, someone you have ridden the bus with with every day, or faced across from your computer screen hour after hour, and suddenly they’re here and stark naked. And you’re naked! And you’re becoming erect. And her nipples are hard and pointed.
Keith was going to town. He had plopped himself in an old sheet-covered recliner. All of the furniture was covered in sheets and towels. He was there in his recliner with a great vantage point of the doorway from the foyer, so he could see people as they were coming in. And the first thing they probably saw was good-ole Keith, slowly stroking his penis, with a giant erection and a giant smile!
A few guys had sat cross-legged on cushions and were talking about motorcycles as some stroked themselves, and others just sat there, not touching themselves yet. Some were as soft as me, others were sporting erections. I joined this group, and as casually as if we were old friends, and as casually as if we were all clothed, we were talking about two-stroke versus four-stroke engines, and fuel injection, and well, motorcycle stuff. One fellow was really eye candy. He couldn’t have been more than twenty years old. He was slight of build, and had long blond hair, almost like a woman. He had shaved all his body hair, and had a thin but tall circumcised erection. He was idly squeezing the tip of his dick with the thumb and forefinger of one hand. After a moment, he switched to cupping and gently squeezing his balls with one hand. Shortly after that, he pulled fairly hard and held down the skin of his dick, causing the head to shine like a polished apple.
Now, about a hundred people had all gotten naked and found positions around the room. Most were fifty years old or more, but some were quite young, like 18 – 20 years old. Many were heavyset, and of course, there were also some thin people. As you might expect, it was about seventy percent male. I’m glad there were enough women there so that they’d be comfortable. If only one or two women were present, they might have been rather freaked out, just as if only two men had showed up around a hundred women.
There was one thing that skewed the statistic a bit. There was a small room set aside for women who wanted privacy. About six women took up residence in that room. Although the doorway was open and one could see inside, people were all polite enough to not jam into the doorway and stare. Personally, I would rather have had the six women in the general group.
Finally, Robert and Carol came into the room, and announced that those people who were going for time, should start now. They said we could have five minute bathroom and snack breaks every hour. They said there’d be contests for the farthest distance a man can shoot, and most number of women’s and men’s orgasms. Also, an award would be given to the person who masturbates the longest. To finish their announcement, they reminded us of the good work that the Center for Sex and Culture was doing, how the money the Masturbate-A-Thon would be used, and thanked us for our participation.
Someone asked about what “tag-team” meant. For those who were interested, couples or larger groups, could give each other handjobs. For instance, a husband and wife could rub each other, and go for the tag-team time or number of orgasms record.
Then Carol reminded those who were interested in recording number of orgasms to find an intern who would be their monitor. That sounds like fun, doesn’t it? To masturbate in front of a stranger who is intently watching you?
Carol and Robert went back to the press room, and a few clothed people with cameras and notebooks followed them. I was told later that the people with cameras were very specifically told not to record anyone who was not wearing the green wrist banding indicating they had signed a release form.
I turned my attention back to the motorcycle group. I was somewhat surprised that while I had been stroking myself like everyone else was now doing, I didn’t get erect. I mean, with all that charged energy in the room, you’d think I’d not only grow a giant boner, but I’d have cum by now. I wasn’t even close. Weird. I guess it is because all my life in locker rooms, at various nude beaches, and so on, I have taught myself not to become erect in public.
After a while, I drifted away from the group and visited Keith. He seemed blissed out on his recliner, but when I walked by he said, “Hi.” So, we started talking. It turns out he was a fighter pilot in the Vietnam war. (I had no idea he was that old, he looks much younger.) He had been shot. Flack came right through the fuselage and hit him in the buttock and thigh. He showed me the scars. I showed him my knee where I had been shot. So we had that in common. What we did not have in common is that he is a celebrity. I should have recognized him, but I guess all I really noticed was his big, shiny, black dick. He was just using the name “Keith” so people wouldn’t know who he was. When the occasional person came by and said, “Hey, are you…?” he’d say, “No, he just looks like me.” He asked me, and everyone else he spoke with at any length, not to reveal his identity, since if it became known that he was at the Masturbate-A-Thon, it might hurt his career. So, for this book, I’ll just keep calling him “Keith.”
The entertainment had started. There were some bands on the stage that I had not heard of. Mostly, they were good, although in some cases the sound wasn’t quite mixed to my satisfaction. Between bands, a couple of adult entertainers got on stage. One brash young man who I did not recognize, but who was probably somebody big in porn movies, got on stage and started dancing and waving his limp penis around. He tried to masturbate there on the stage, but no go, he couldn’t get hard. After seven or eight minutes of trying, he gave up.
One of our interns, the small, frizzy black haired girl came up. She opened her legs really wide, showing us her pussy and asshole in great detail, as if it was a show-and-tell demonstration. She then proceeded to stroke herself to a slow, but powerful orgasm, right there in front of everyone and the two video cameras. That got me. I was finally starting to develop a semi-erection.
More rock bands. Nina Hartley came on stage with a weird costume. She had short strips of black electrical tape making crosses across her nipples, her glasses, and some sort of girdle or neglegee-like thing that had a big opening right over her pussy. All she did however, was talk for awhile about positive masturbation. No one was listening.
For a while, someone had been allowed to put a video camera in the women’s ‘private’ room, and one woman was rubbing herself and having orgasms like crazy. We could see it on a big screen erected over the stage.
At various times in the evening, videos were played on the screen, but they were mostly talking heads, music videos, or such mild pornography as to not be pornography at all.
Two hours in, and I was stroking away, yet I had never become fully hard. A few more stragglers had drifted in, but there were still only about a hundred people in the room. That’s because a few of the guys had ejaculated, lost their enthusiasm, and went home.
A guy got on stage with an upright piano and played beautiful honky-tonk music. That would have been worth the price of admission alone. He was all dressed in pinstripes, with suspenders and a bowler hat. I wonder if he wanted to be naked with all of us?
I only saw one couple tag-teaming. They were very involved with each other, and never really seemed to be in the room with the rest of us. In later years, the Masturbate-A-Thon eliminated tag-teaming. Handjobs aren’t fully qualified as masturbation, which by definition is ‘doing yourself.’
In the third hour, the redhead girl who had arrived with her brother took a spot on the floor, laying face down, with her legs spread wide. This was excellent! I could see her asshole very clearly, and I have a thing about assholes. Her butt was slim and tight. She was totally shaved, and her anus was small and had very little coloration. Just the way I like them. She had reached under her belly and was rubbing her clit. I didn’t know whether it was OK to stare as I wanked, so I got up the courage, walked around to the side she was facing, and asked her. She said, “Sure, knock yourself out.” In retrospect, I realize now that she was putting on a show. She wanted me to stare at her. So I knelt down behind her where I could get a great view, as a few other guys piled in around me. That got me hard. Very hard. I almost came after a minute, Fortunately, I’m good at edging. I know when I’m getting close, so I backed off. After a while, she got up and walked back to join her brother. The two of them took chairs facing each other and rubbed themselves easily while staring into each other’s eyes.
There were a few fully clothed reporters working the room. I was interviewed two times. I asked the reporters, one of which was a young female, whether they planed to join us in wanking. No, they decided to stay clothed. On principle, I guess. Then, I asked whether anyone else had asked the same thing. Yes, everyone kept asking them to join in the fun, that the only way to get the true story was to be one of us.
A heavyset woman of about 40 years and I got to talking. Her very young female Asian intern was right there watching and listening, because this woman was going for the record number of orgasms. She told me she had already had twelve, and was about to have another. Would I like to place my hand on her lower stomach and feel the contractions? You bet. So I did, and I felt her having an orgasm! The intern then reminded me that we aren’t really supposed to touch anyone else.
I had been reminded of that very thing a few minutes earlier. A nice older gentleman asked whether he could stroke my penis. I said, “Of course, I don’t see why not.” So he reached out, and very gently slid what’s left of my foreskin up and down. It felt very nice to be touched in that way by a stranger’s warm fingers. But after a half-minute or so, an intern came by, and said, “Sorry, no touching of others.”
In a way, that was a shame, but in another way, that was just right. This whole thing could have easily turned into an orgy if there had been no supervision. And that would generate bad publicity, not good publicity. Besides, wanking in the same room with others is absolutely awesome in its own right!
The Masturbate-A-Thon had what they called a ‘voyeurs’ area. People who just wanted to watch could pay $40 and sit on a set of bleachers behind a rope on one side of the room and watch. Personally, I don’t know how they could stand it. If I had been a voyeur, I would have marched back to the administration desk and said, “Let me in, I want to play!” But maybe the voyeurs are too shy, or for their own reasons, they don’t want, or don’t need to jerk off with us. At various times there were a dozen or twenty voyeurs.
There was a guy masturbating who I had seen on the Internet because he has attended other sex events in the San Francisco Bay Area and is somewhat of a sexual celebrity. And, of course, after deciding to participate in this event, I looked up similar events on the web. I thought his name was Culo, or Cusco, or something like that, but because of a loud band playing in the background, I couldn’t quite tell when he introduced himself. He had a strong accent. I have since heard that he is Yuma, a software engineer who moved from Argentina. He appears to be in his early thirties. He has dark shiny smooth skin, and a very strong build. No doubt he is a bodybuilder. From what I had seen on the Internet, he likes to wear a cockring, and tonight was no exception. It was amazing to see him in person. He has a tall, confident, commanding presence. And his penis is very large! This guy is the ultimate exhibitionist. I’ve heard, in fact seen, video clips of him masturbating right out in the streets of San Francisco. He was on the floor on his hands and knees, facing away the voyeurs section so they had a clear view of his anus. And he was working a dildo in and out. Very, very sexual.
Five hours in, and I hadn’t cum yet! I was amazed and proud of myself. I had been erect for much of the past two hours. I had no idea that I might qualify for the record, which I had been told was around seven hours, but here I was already at five hours of wanking. So, now I was starting to think that I ought to earnestly pursue the record.
Another few grunts and a yell. A guy ejaculated. It was fun to watch a guy squirting cum only a few feet away from me. He got soft, and went home. This was becoming increasingly common.
I hadn’t seen Keith in a while. I guess he came once or twice, finally lost the spirit, and went home. It had already been a long day for him.
During a bathroom break, I had to walk out the masturbatorium doorway to the foyer area where the refreshments table and bathrooms were located. The doorway was rather clogged with mostly clothed people. These were people from the press, technical support people, such as the video personnel, people just arriving or leaving, and voyeurs. It was quite narrow, and the venue was loud. So there I was walking with a beautiful erection in front of everyone. It was heaven for the exhibitionist part of me! But I had to get through the crowd. I tried saying “excuse me” a couple of times, but no one could hear unless I shouted, and I didn’t think that would be quite right. So I just pressed in, and people slowly parted so I could get through. But not before I bumped my penis into a couple of clothed people. The feeling was indescribable. Oh, not the physical sensation. I barely felt anything with my penis. But the psychology. Oh the psychological effect! There I was bumping strangers with my proud erection, and it was OK. Kind of normal in a way. Fantastic!
I was still hard when I got to the bathroom. For some reason, the bathroom had only one urinal and one toilet. There must have been more bathrooms elsewhere, but I never did figure out where. Anyway, there was a bit of a line, and you could see the people in there doing their business. After a brief wait, I was able to approach the toilet. I found it a little hard to pee with an erection plus people not only staring at me, but wanting me to finish quickly so they could pee. So it took a moment, but finally, I did pee. And my hardon was starting to subside.
A quick visit to the snack table, and I was back in action in the masturbatorium again. Unfortunately, the doorway was not blocked this time. But then again, I wasn’t hard now, either.
Back in the masturbatorium, I had a nice visit with a lady who was probably well over 70 years old. She was overweight and hairy. Not much to look at, but a very sweet individual. She was sitting in a high-backed chair against a wall rubbing her clit.
It was approaching 10pm, and I noticed a late arrival for the first time. This was a very tall, thin Asian woman, with perky breasts, wearing nothing but a cowboy hat. She walked past, rubbing herself as she walked. I would have thought I’d died and gone to heaven if I could have just sat down and watched her while I wanked, but there were so many guys following her around, I gave up on the idea. It was enough just to see her in her entirety for a moment. I hope she was enjoying all the male attention. In fact, I’m rather certain she was very much enjoying the attention.
Now, Nina Hartley, the porn star from several years ago, was on the stage and giving a guy a nice handjob. I don’t quite understand how she could do that and not be breaking the rules, but then again, she was the star. And she still looked great. The guy ejaculated, and left the stage. She asked whether anyone else would like to visit her on the stage. My hormones ruled. I was up there in a heartbeat. Who would have figured? Me, a generally shy average-looking guy, stark naked on a stage, about to do something sexual with Nina Hartley!
She asked what I liked, and I told her. I tried to think of something she could do that wouldn’t cause me to ejaculate. At the time I was fascinated with testicle massage. She offered to do it right there and then, in front of the Internet feed going out to the whole world. Chances are, thousands of people were watching, because the event was well publicized online. I slouched in a chair with my legs wide apart as she Knelt in front of me. Nina Hartley! A clothed camera guy got right up next to me for a close up, but I was completely fine with that. Proud in fact.
Nina’s touch was electrifying. She started out with a very soft tickle-light touching of my scrotum. My dick was sticking straight up, rock hard, and jerking back and forth occasionally. She was expert enough not to touch it. Because I would have squirted right away. Then she started in earnest. She really knew what I meant about testicle massage. I’ve had several men and women massage my balls, and they never seem to get it quite right. Most never get up the nerve to squeeze hard enough. They are afraid they’ll hurt, or even injure me. The few who do use enough pressure are not aware that there are sensitive spots on the top back sides of the balls where the cords attach. If those spots are squeezed, it is quite ouchy.
Oh, but Nina was an expert. She was squeezing and kneading my balls like her life depended on it. She was squeezing harder and harder until she saw me flinch a couple of times. Then she backed off just the right amount, and gave me a full five minutes of the best ball massage I’ve ever had in my life. I looked at a video monitor at one point, and there were my balls and dick, bigger than life, all over the Internet.
All good things must end, and Nina sent me on my way, and after rubbing herself on camera for a few minutes, she went on to make some other guy’s dream come true.
Days after the Masturbate-A-Thon, I scoured the Internet, hoping to find ‘my’ video, but I never did find it.
More wanking. Midnight had come and gone, and I was approaching eight hours of solid jerking off, except for bathroom breaks. I wasn’t sore, and I was loving every minute of it. But, of all damn things, I was getting sleepy.
The room was clearing out. There were only about thirty people left.
I was wondering just how important it was to me to break the record. There were only two competitors left. One regular-looking guy had spent almost the whole time in the one and only hammock in the room. I don’t even know if he took bathroom breaks.
The other was a fellow named Masanobu who had come all the way from Japan.
He was an official representative of a Fleshlight-like device. These are tubes with soft insides that you slip over your penis. They are supposed to feel much like a real vagina. He had been using his contraption the whole time, while other representatives of the company went around the room offering to let people try their fake vaginas. Earlier in the evening, I tried one, and liked it well enough, but liked my hand better.
Anyway, he had been practicing. It looked like he was going to go forever, so maybe it was becoming time for me think about heading home.
I had been wanking side by side with another guy approximately my age who kept telling me how great my dick looked. Everyone loves to to hear that, and I’m no exception. We were talking about porn websites we liked when he pointed out a group of three women across the room.
I walked over to watch. One of the three was was perhaps 18 or 20 years old, very small, thin, and had very short black hair. Almost a crew cut. Pretty obviously a lesbian costume or statement. She was laying on her back on a cushion on the floor, having such strong orgasms that she was convulsing. Her very small flat breasts were shaking along with her whole body. Her two friends were on either side of her, holding her shoulders and murmuring some soft somethings to her. I took one look at that, and suddenly I lost it, I ejaculated all over the floor.
After that, part of me wanted to stay, but the more practical part said it was late (for me), I was tired, and still had to drive 30 miles home. Besides, that, my penis was now obstinately soft and just a little bit sore. It wasn’t going to get back up any time soon. So it was time to visit the clothing check, get my stuff, jump in the car and head home.
As luck would have it, traffic was stopped at the bridge. Evidently a car had caught fire up ahead. It was a rare warm San Francisco night, so I, and most of the other motorists stepped out of our cars to enjoy the refreshing air. Guess who popped out of the car next to me? Right, one of the Masturbate-A-Thon participants! We exchanged phone numbers and promised to get together for our own mini masturbate-a-thon, but we never did. Traffic cleared, and I headed home.
I had masturbated non-stop for 8 hours and 20 minutes, according to the stamps on my pledge sheet. The guy in the hammock must have quit just minutes after I did. I later found out that the Japanese guy won with a time of 8 hours and 40 minutes. If only I had known! But then again, he probably would have gone 20 hours if he had to, in order to win.
You’d think I’d be sore the next day. If not my penis, then perhaps my arm or wrist. But no, I was just fine and in fact jerked off a couple of times the next day while remembering the Masturbate-A-Thon.
What a glorious time I had telling all my pledgees about my experience at the Masturbate-A-Thon! I think after my telling of the story, they all wished they had had the gumption to go along with me.
No one, especially I, expected me to go eight hours and 20 minutes! Everyone paid up, including my benefactor who pledged $0.25 per minute. He had to pay $125. He grumbled a bit, but he wrote a check, which I forwarded along with the other payments to the Center for Sex and Culture.
In later years, there have been a few changes. For instance, the record times were getting so long, that they no longer hold in-house competitions for who can go the longest. They are more vigilant about people touching anyone other than themselves. The self-pledge price dropped from $40 to $30, making it easier for more people to attend.
Here are some records from more recent events:
Longest Time, set in 2012 by Sonny Nash: 10 hours and 10 minutes
Men’s Ejaculation Distance Record, set in 2014: 12 ft 10 in (3.9 m)
Female Most Orgasms, set at the Denmark Masturbate-A-Thon in 2009: 222
Male Most Orgasms, also Denmark 2009: 8
In the following years, I have twice more attended the Masturbate-A-Thon. Both times were as good as the first.
It turns out I still couldn’t get my friends, my pledgees from the first year to come along. Oh well, Their loss. My one and only complaint with the Masturbate-A-Thon in general is that it is under-publicized. I believe the people at the Center for Sex and Culture just don’t know how to publicize a local event in a big city like San Francisco. Because every year, only between a hundred and 250 people out of well over a million in the Bay Area show up. What’s up with that?
Can you imagine what it would like to have a convention of a thousand people wanking together?
Now, they do hold masturbate-a-thons in some other cities such as London, Portland, Philadelphia, even in Denmark. Perhaps you’d like to organize one where you live!
In a survey, fifty percent of women said they’d rather not have any pubic hair.
Meatotomy: A common type of body modification is meatus (peehole) widening, known as meatotomy in which the meatus is purposely lengthened. This is generally done by the man himself, or non-professional practitioners, without anesthesia.
A complication is that the owner of a widened meatus may have trouble with a dribbling urine stream that is difficult to aim into the toilet. The condition can be surgically reversed.
Your author has imagined that the opposite treatment might be interesting: To purposely partially close the meatus. This might result in a stronger, better aimed urination stream. Furthermore, it might cause longer-lasting, more continuous, more forceful ejaculations. That might be fun. A person could perhaps fake the effect to see what happens with a bit of crazy glue applied to the top or bottom of the meatus. Keep in mind that frequent contact with glue of that sort might cause skin irritation or worse. Alternatively, a couple of closely placed stitches could temporarily reduce the meatus.
CBT: Cock and Ball Torture – any techniques that cause pain, or seem like they might cause pain to a man’s genitals. This can include hitting or squeezing testicles, squeezing or stretching the penis, glans rubbing, sounding, ass play, bondage, and many other activities. Most CBT is ritualistic, meaning no actual torture is taking place. The participants are just playing with the concept.
Menstruation: Seventy percent of men will not have sex when their mates are menstruating.
Play piercing also known as needle play:. The general idea is that needles are poked into a person’s body without anesthesia for a kind of painful pleasure. This is definitely not for everyone. But for those who enjoy such things, needles can be pushed through nipples, exterior and interior labia, skin or tip of the penis, clitoris, or scrotum, at just about any angle as long as they don’t puncture internal organs. One place that can be problematic however, is the corposa cavernose, the large spongy areas in the penis that fill with blood to cause erections. When punctured, they bleed excessively and can heal poorly.
Some men will place needles in their scrotums, and some have been known to push needles through their testicles. This is risky business. Getting an infection inside your body this way is not only embarrassing, but potentially deadly.
Some people will push a single needle through a small area. Others will stick a dozen or more needles deep into themselves.
A place to start for men is to push one from just inside the meatus (peehole) through to the underside of the penis, perhaps 3 – 6 millimeters (1/8 to 1/4 inch) from the opening. This penetrates only a very small amount of tissue and heals quickly. Men have been known to ejaculate just from having a needle pushed into their dicks.
For women, starting with piercing the inner labia has a somewhat equal effect.
You might be tempted to use a sewing needle for your first experience. You may find that too painful. Sewing needles are designed not to poke through skin, so it takes quite a bit of pressure to push a sewing needle through. Many needle play people use acupressure or medical needles. Triangular canvas sewing needles can work well also, although they are large, and can also be painful. In many circumstances, especially if you don’t see it coming, an medical or acupuncture needle can be entirely painless.
Just like other sexual activities, this can be a solo experience, or done to you by someone else. This is serious edgeplay, and you should be properly prepared with knowledge, sterile facilities, a safeword, and be sure you can trust your partner.
Nettles: These are fuzzy leaves from a plant that carries a mild toxin. To simply have a nettle brush against your arm can cause a mild to severe itching or stinging that lasts for several minutes. Some people who particularly enjoy intensity will apply nettles to their vagina, scrotum, penis or ass.
It turns out men have almost as much sensitivity in their nipples as women do. Some men will tickle a nipple with one hand while masturbating with the other. This greatly enhances the arousal. There are also men who like very intense squeezing, twisting and biting of their nipples. Nipple ‘torture’ is less appreciated by most women. Nipple piercings can enhance the pleasure because simply wearing a shirt can keep the pierced person in ongoing arousal, at least while the piercing is new. Some men, and some women, can have orgasms just from nipple play.
Nude Beach: Many men are afraid to attend a nude beach for the first time. They’re concerned that they’ll get an erection, which is a strong possibility. As it turns out, at most nude beaches, people will understand and look the other way. At some beaches, they’ll welcome your erection and maybe even offer to play with it. At some beaches, however, it is a very good idea to hide your erection by laying face down on your towel, or jumping in the water, until it subsides. If it won’t subside, you can just jerk off while shoulder deep in the water, where no one will notice.
If attendance numbers are any indication, women are more reluctant to attend a nude beach than men, even though they don’t have the erection concern. Nude beach attendance is generally about seventy percent male, and thirty percent female.
For women, the problem is more about body shyness or shame, although this can certainly affect men also. The technical term for people who are overly concerned with body image is body dysmorphia. Most people tend to examine ourselves with a very critical eye. We may think we are a bit too fat, or our legs don’t look right, or breast size or shape is wrong. Your author greatly admires some of the people he has seen on nude beaches. Oh, not the ones who are young, sleek and perfect. I admire the ones who are fifty pounds overweight, or fifty years past their prime, or have a physical ‘flaw’ such as missing fingers, or a big scar, and yet are still comfortable on a nude beach.
For some beach attendees, nudity is non-sexual. It really does make sense to get an even distribution of sun all over. To be very tanned in some areas, and totally untanned in others may not be as good for one’s health. Medical professionals are telling us that many of us don’t get enough vitamin D. Do you suppose it is better to get it through supplements, or naturally?
On the other hand, the ozone layer is not as thick as it once was, and too much exposure to the sun is not a good idea. The recommended practice is to avoid the mid-day sun, wear sunscreen, or a big hat, and be sensible about how much time you spend in the sun. Also consider frequency. Building up to a tan by starting with as little as fifteen minutes a day, is more sensible than trying to get a tan all at once, and ending up with sunburn. Scientists have discovered that sunburn causes changes in the blood vessels of the skin that don’t fully recover for six months or more.
At some beaches, sexual activity is the norm. Some in-between beaches, playing with friends in the bushes near the beach is completely acceptable, but sexual activity of any sort in front of others is not allowed.
The legality and enforcement at beaches varies considerably. At some, you are advised to keep your clothes nearby in case you need to put them on in a hurry when officials come by. At some beaches, sheriffs or other law enforcement officials periodically drive up and down the beach in four-wheel drive vehicles, not to bother nudists, but to protect them. Their job is to get rid of drunks or people who are doing disruptive or illegal activities.
Here’s a report from a fellow who attended an inland nude beach at a tree-shaded quarry near a small town:
It was a warm summer day and there were perhaps thirty people around the quarry ranging from a young girl and her mother to elderly men and women.
As I drove in, I passed a man sitting in a lawn chair in plain view of everyone arriving or leaving, looking at an Android tablet and idly stroking his fully hard penis. After I parked, I noticed a camper van will all doors open, and several cardboard signs inviting people to come over and play.
I met the owner of the van, and he told me that he gets two or three takers every day. It’s mostly about handjobs and blowjobs, but he has had full-on sex there. He told me that most of the participants were men, but he has had experiences with women in his van at the beach also. Sometimes he’ll close the doors if his guests want privacy, but most often, everyone is fine with leaving them open.
I played with the man for a short while. Neither of us wanted to ejaculate, so I gave him a testicle massage and low-intensity handjob, and he responded in kind.
I left to meet other people and find out more about the beach. I saw one intriguing woman, fully nude and well-tanned, who had a remarkably large collection of black genital hair. Normally, your author prefers shaved, but I found her quite attractive. Nothing happened, I just enjoyed her beauty at a distance.
As the day progressed, I mostly played Frisbee with new-found friends, tried juggling rocks, and all the things that one does at a normal nude beach, and had a very nice time.
Here’s another nude beach story you may enjoy:
So, sometimes I like to go to the nude beach on weekends. The first several times, I was thrilled, but nothing happened, then I went home and of course I jerked off. I mean, seeing all those pretty women and excellent guys made me horny.
I was careful not to have an erection there on the beach in front of everyone. I mean, I checked it out, and no one else was getting erect. Now, I’ve heard of beaches where people do whatever they want, play around and what-not, but evidently my beach isn’t one of them. Unfortunately, there are no other nude beaches for more than 100 miles north or south, or at least any that I know of, so I’ll gladly make due with my beach. I mean, at least it is a nude beach, after all. And, there are usually like 100 people there on a good day.
One time, I was feeling an erection coming on. It scared me. I mean, it would be totally embarrassing, right? So I laid face down on my towel until it was over, which took an annoyingly long time.
A couple weeks later I was on the beach again. It was still early, only about a dozen people milling around, none close to me, and damn if I didn’t start getting a stiffy again. Somehow, I was feeling bolder. I just let it happen. At one point, a couple of girls walked by, still dressed – they were just arriving, and I turned away, pretending to stare out at a sailboat way out on the ocean, but it was to hide my erection.
Yes, about the girls. I’d like to see more on the beach. It’s probably about eighty percent guys. And the women that are there, they often wear bottoms, or aren’t that good-looking, at least in my opinion. But then again, seeing anyone nude is quite a turn-on for me.
Anyway, one day shortly after that, and I guess I have to say my boldness was growing, I was trying to juggle three rocks, and an older man was sitting there applauding me. I smiled at him, but kind of shyly. I mean, was he gay and going to try to pick up on me? What a crazy thought! What would have been wrong with that? Nothing, right? I should have been honored, and I was, really. But mostly, I think he appreciated my attempt to juggle. Or actually, I was just enjoying being acknowledged. You see, going to the nude beach is a lonely thing. You go there, you try not to stare, but you want to look. You want something more. Maybe real human contact. But it doesn’t seem to happen all that often. So you hang at the beach until you’re risking sunburn, then you go home and jerk off.
Getting back to the man watching me juggle: Suddenly I noticed he was just sitting there with a full erection. He wasn’t trying to hide it. He must have been erect there for like 5 minutes, yet I hadn’t noticed. Was his hardon because of me? Wow, what to think about that? I don’t think I’m all that attractive, so this was really a great honor. But I didn’t know how to react, so I smiled again, and then just walked away to another part of the beach.
Over the next few weeks, his bold erection got me to thinking: Maybe it’s OK. Maybe the whole beach thing, the way people don’t really talk to each other – unless they came as a group, and the way no one gets erect, and no one fools around in any way, is because everyone is afraid to be the one to break the ice. I mean, I was really thinking about that a lot. I thought about it at work (forklift driver), I thought about it during meals, I even had a dream about it. Well sort of. I dreamed that I was called into the office for some sort of paperwork thing, and the accountant guy was this guy I had seen at the beach, and he was sitting at his desk with no shirt on. Then, he pushed away in his chair a few feet from the desk, and he was sporting an erection. In the dream, I was trying to act as if everything was normal, and woke up, almost in some sort of fright.
So, like I said, I was thinking a lot about how no one is willing to break the ice at the beach. But what if someone did? And if so, who would it be? Well, by the looks of things, it would have to be me.
That weekend I went back, determined to “do” something, although I didn’t quite know what. In my fantasies, I would just get in a conversation with some people, I’d hit it off with a great-looking young woman, we’d start kissing. Then I’d kiss her breasts, and then before long, there we would be, doing it in front of everyone.
The reality that day wasn’t quite like the fantasy. I am rather a shy person, unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, whatever.
Anyway, I did engage in conversation. I figured the best thing was to offer to teach some of the people to juggle rocks. I ended up with about 20 people who tried juggling, or at least talked with me about it. A few were women, most men. Then the day was over, and I went home. No erections. Well, one guy, he may have had a bit of a chubby. I was intrigued by that, but nothing came of it, of course. Oddly, although the experiment didn’t really succeed, I had a good time, and had high hopes for subsequent visits.
I went to the beach one last time before the end of the season, and knowing full well that the season was going to end, I was somewhat more emboldened. I had a few conversations, and at one point, something started to jell. Some people sitting near me, and who had tried juggling a few minutes earlier, had some extra bananas, and offered me one. I took that as an invitation to join their group. It was two couples. We sat on the sand and just started talking. I found out one of the guys is a medical student. The other is sort of like me: He’s a delivery driver. One of the women is a court stenographer, and the other is a retail clerk, I think. It wasn’t really clear whether she owns a retail store, or works in one, and I didn’t find out what she sells. She was a beautiful, I mean, really knock-out redhead. The other girl was a bit rounded, but still beautiful. Oh yes, everyone was totally naked, and it was difficult for me to not focus on the redhead’s shaven vagina. The guys were alright too. Both taller than me, both thin and athletic. The driver guy, was bald-headed and bearded, which I must say, is a rather attractive combination.
As were were all just sitting there shooting the shit, the driver started idly touching the head of his penis, and it was starting to erect a bit. I don’t know if he was aware of what he was doing – that he was doing that in public. This had an immediate and unfortunate effect on me. Or, I should say, fortunate. My penis started to rise.
My first thought was to hide it. Run out to the water, or turn face down in the sand. But that would have obvious and awkward. OK, so here was my chance. Not that I had any option really, so I just let it happen. The redhead lightly teased me about it. Not evil at all. She was just making things ‘normal’ the way I figure it. She was saying something, if I remember correctly, like, “Oh, a woodie on the beach,” and “The erection police will be here any minute.”
The driver saw me and guess what? He erected 100% right away. His girl, the heavier one, said something like “Oh, I like this.” Now, the med student was getting hard too, and his girl, the redhead said he needed an ‘examination.’ At that point, she leaned all in and started giving him a blowjob. Right there on the beach, in front of everyone walking by!
I decided it was OK with them if I watch, but at first I had to think about it. Like wasn’t that a ‘private’ act? Shouldn’t I look away or something? But no, they were doing it on purpose in front of us. The redhead was kind of flicking her fingers over her nipples, and her boyfriend was now starting to touch his penis, although it was staying soft.
As this was all happening, about six or eight people stood near us, watching. One or two of the guys might have had their hands on their pricks, but I don’t quite remember.
I started stroking myself, just lightly, as I watched the blowjob in progress, and I guess that I shouldn’t be surprised: I came right away, shooting several spurts right there into the sand.
The blowjob and the erections didn’t last long. The whole thing happened in about 5 minutes. No one else came, and we all resumed normal conversation. I’m pretty sure it was shyness taking over. Some sort of modesty. Because, we certainly could have done more. But we didn’t. Shortly after that, we exchanged phone numbers and went our separate ways.
No, I never did call anyone nor did they call me. It was pretty obvious that the four of them were two couples. I would have been a fifth wheel. But sometimes I think what could have happened. We could have all gotten together and had a five-way. I mean, who’s to say that all five of us wouldn’t have wanted that? And yet, shyness wins again. No one called, no one suggested it, not even me. I’ll have to work on that.
Anal Intercourse: Penetrating an anus with a penis. This is done to both women and men. The person pushing the penis in can be referred to as the top and the recipient is the bottom. In men, anal intercourse is considered the traditional form of gay sex. The gay culture has taken the terms top and bottom beyond anal intercourse. A top is anyone who enjoys doing things to another person, and a bottom is a person who likes having things done. Some people maintain their top or bottom roles throughout their lives. Others can switch back and forth, often several times in a single session.
Care must be taken to penetrate very slowly for first time bottoms. In fact, do not expect to succeed on your first try. It is better to have a few sessions beforehand in which one finger, and then two and three fingers are placed in the bottom’s ass. The anus tends to be very tight at first. One might almost say, “resistant.” With patience, the anal sphincter relaxes and penetration is much easier. Use lots of slippery, non-toxic lube. An experienced bottom can take a penis easily, and sometimes graduates to larger things, such as a fist.
Anal intercourse is the most common way to become infected with an STD. The tissues in the rectum have very little protection against viral invasion. If you must participate in anal intercourse, by all means use a rubber. Rubbers, however, have been known to rupture, leak, or even come off and get temporarily lost inside a bottom’s rectum.
The scenarios of anal intercourse are interesting for both the top and bottom. The initial penetration is difficult, sometimes complicated by the top not being fully erect. A good, solid erection is required. It can also seem as if the penis is not lining up with the anal opening. Once the head of the penis (glans) slips in, you may feel a slight, often delightful pop. Once fully in, The top feels a tightness beyond anything experienced in vaginal intercourse. If the bottom orgasms during anal intercourse, the top can sometimes feel the contractions around his penis, which may then trigger an orgasm for the top.
The bottom might feel pain, and if so, the penetration should be done very slowly, or even stopped for the time being. On different days, the experience can vary. Sometimes, the bottom is just going to be too tight. On another day, where all factors seem the same, the penis goes in with no problem.
At first, even an experienced bottom may feel a slight pain. That soon goes away, and is often replaced by a sort of ‘craving.’ It’s as if the body wants more, and the bottom may want the penis pushed firmly in all the way, or stroked in and out fully and rapidly.
Quite often the bottom, whether male or female, starts stroking his or her penis or vagina, and can end up having a simultaneous orgasm with the top.
For most bottoms, there is a limit after which the stimulation starts to sting. That’s a good time to quit for the day.
According to some medical professionals, anal intercourse can increase the likelihood of hemorrhoids, prolapse, and anal incontinence. Others say there is no evidence to support those claims.
The type of bondage, and what’s done once an individual is tied up, varies considerably. In a light bondage scene, a woman might have her wrists and ankles tied with strips of cloth to the corners of a bed, so she is spread-eagled and can’t fight whatever might happen. Friends then tickles her feet, her thighs, her stomach, and might eventually work their way to her genitals.
On the other extreme, a man may be tied into a sling, and a gag placed in his mouth so he cannot yell. Then the recipient is milked mercilessly. True milking is the process of having a man ejaculate over and over again, until nothing further comes out. People often use ‘milking’ to mean something lesser, typically an ordinary single-ejaculation handjob.
Another form of bondage is breast, testicle or penis bondage, in which the organs are wrapped either light and ceremonially, or perhaps very tightly, with strips of cloth, rope or other materials. Care should be taken not to cut off circulation for too long, and not to damage organs inside by overly small diameter materials such as string, and not applying too much pressure.
When a flaccid penis is tied very tightly, it will stay soft even when the man is in an aroused state. If the bondage is half-way along the length of the penis, the tip stays soft while the area behind the binding becomes erect.
If the circulation to breasts or a penis has been cut off for several minutes, the tingling sensation when the blood flow is restored can be interesting.
Bound breasts or genitals, especially the scrotum, soon turn ‘blue’ or actually a blackish-purple color, as the trapped blood loses its oxygen. This discoloration goes away within a minute of restoring circulation.
Butt plug, also known as anal plug. This is a device that is pushed through the anus into the rectum. Most have a diameter sufficient to feel interesting when inserted, then a reduced diameter, and finally a large diameter at the distal end. This last section is to keep the plug from going all the way into the rectum where it could be lost.
Both men and women enjoy wearing butt plugs while masturbating, sometimes for hours on end. The feeling of sitting down once an anal plug is inserted all the way, is erotic.
Butt plugs are usually made of silicone or similar soft, rubbery material.
Some anal plugs have a big enough base that they can stand upright when placed on a floor or table. A few have suction cup bases that can be attached to a wall. The purpose of this configuration is to slowly sit down, thereby inserting the plug.
The size of an anal plug can be quite astounding. Experienced users can sometimes take a plug several inches in diameter.
Length too, can be interesting. While most plugs are under 10 inches (25 cm), they can be as long as a yard (meter) or more. These are smaller in diameter, and very flexible. They are no longer just plugs, but a device that can be insert well into the large intestine for a very deep stimulation.
BME.com is a subscription website dedicated to body modification – anything from tattooing to surgical genital modifications. Subscribers will find hundreds or even thousands of photos, stories and videos on their favorite body modifications such as piercings, genital splitting, needle and hook suspension, and more.
Tight: A fun variation of male masturbation when fully erect is to pull the skin of the shaft, or the foreskin, all they way down with the thumbs and forefingers of each hand, and holding it there. The sensation is less powerful than some things you can do, but continuing to hold the skin allows an orgasmic feeling to build which can eventually lead to ejaculation. I’m guessing a similar situation can be applied to women, in which the inner labia are pressed down or pulled away from the clitoris and held. However, no one I know has tried it yet. Maybe you’d like to give this a try and let me know what happens.
Simultaneous Orgasm: When a woman and man have an orgasm at the same time during intercourse or other forms of sex, that’s a simultaneous orgasm. It is a remarkably enjoyable experience for both parties, and something that many couples work toward with plenty of practice.
One of the best techniques to achieve simultaneous orgasm is to have the woman facing downward on her hands and knees while the man enters her from behind. The man works on edging or holding back from orgasming too soon, while the woman may stimulate her clitoris with the fingers of one hand at the same time. Communication is helpful, so the man knows when to hold back and when to let go, and the woman can bring about, or delay her orgasm.
The man can sometimes feel her orgasmic contractions while he is in her vagina or anus, and that will sometimes trigger his orgasm within a second or two. And it can work the other way too, where the man cums first, and the woman feels the orgasm and follows suit. While there may be a momentary difference when both people start their orgasms, as long as they are orgasming concurrently for at least part of the time, that qualifies as simultaneous.
Simultaneous orgasms can happen in other scenarios as well, such as with two men jacking at the same time, with two women licking each other in a 69 position, or when one man is butt fucking the other while the recipient is masturbating.
Car: The second most common place that people have sex is in cars. The most common place is in the bedroom, of course.
Circle Jerk: A masturbatory or handjob activity generally involving three or more people, usually, but not necessarily restricted to men. The “circle” concept can be taken quite literally. For instance, people can sit around a campfire, each wanking the person to his right. But more often, the name doesn’t have much to do with the activity. More commonly, it is a bunch of guys or girls getting together at someone’s house, and jerking each other off, or variations. For instance, one guy may be giving a blowjob to another, who is jerking a guy laying next to him. In another part of the room, a guy is just watching while jerking himself off. Elsewhere, two guys are watching porn while mutually masturbating.
Circle jerks are a safe form of sex in that the activities don’t lead to the passing of diseases. Most circle jerks do not lead to intimate sexual relationships. These are most often attended by people who want a casual situation, not something for ongoing sex with specific partners.
A friend recently attended a circle jerk that turned out to be mixed-gender, and came back with this report:
The evening was better, way better than I had imagined it could be! This is exactly what happened, with no exaggeration. The only thing is I changed the names, in case anyone would be concerned about being recognized.
I spotted an ad online where a guy was going to organize a circle jerk. Of course I responded, with a degree of excitement. He sent the evening it was to occur and the hotel room where he had reserved a room.
I arrived ten minutes early. Couldn’t help myself. He greeted me at the door naked, with a good, solid hardon. He was quite tall, thin, fit, with still mostly blond hair tied in a ponytail, even though he appeared around 60 years old. He beckoned me in, and sat back down in the chair where he had been casually wanking while watching some porn. He had hooked up his laptop to the big TV in the motel room.
I took off my clothes right away, and laid out on his bed, starting to stroke myself as I watched the porn along with him. It was a big-titted blond woman getting fucked every which way by a good-looking man. Totally typical porn.
I started to get hard, but not entirely. I kind of wanted to get hard right away, but it wasn’t entirely happening. I was relaxed. I knew I’d get hard in time. He, we’ll call him Brian, and I talked. He has been married twice, is now divorced. He drives a truck for a living, and plans to retire in a year. He considers himself mostly hetero, but enjoys circle jerks. He isn’t much interested in getting jerked, oral, or anything else by a man, but has the quirk that he really likes having guys cum on him. On his legs, or his chest and stomach. He says it dates back to his first wife who introduced him to swinging – having sex with other couples. She’ do things like sit on him while they were fucking, and then blow a couple of guys at the same time. When they came, their cum would drip on him, and he found it very appealing. So now, he likes to have guys ejaculate on him. We talked and watched the porn for about ten minutes, when there was a knock on the door. It was a tall, medium built man named Marty, about 50 years old. Brian introduced him to me as his “jerk off buddy.” Evidently, whenever Brian is in town and in the mood, he and Mark place ads online and work out these circle jerks. They weren’t sure who was coming. It might have been just the three of us. And that would be fine by me, but of course the more, the merrier. As is typical with Craigslist, they had around 8 respondents, but quite often, many of them will get cold feet, or fail to show up for one reason or another.
But no worries, there was another knock on the door, and in walked Sam. Another tall, fit guy, but perhaps a bit heavier than any of the three of us. He was well tanned – all over. We got to talking, and Sam said he likes giving head. I told him that whereas I’m mostly a handjob guy, I wouldn’t mind a good blowjob. So, with me laying face up on the bed, and him face down, laying between my legs, he went to work. And he was good. I did start to get fully hard.
I worry about that. Sometimes, with a new person, or in a new setting, it takes me at least a half-hour to relax enough so that I can become fully erect. I suppose it is from a lifetime of trying to suppress erections at nude beaches and such.
As he was sucking on me, another knock, and Brian let in Marvin, a shorter fellow who was also fit, apparently in his early sixties, and with an academic look. He too disrobed, and he seemed to be more of a voyeur, sitting on a shelf along the window, and just stroking himself while watching Brian stroke himself, and Sam giving me my blowjob. Oh, and the porn on the TV which had switched to a three-way with a woman and two men.
Marvin asked Bruce whether any women were coming. Bruce said no. Marvin said that Marty had said possible a woman might come. Marty interjected that he had indeed invited a woman, but he doubted she’d actually show up. Her name was Lori. It seems both he and Brian knew who she was, and seemed to have had some past sexual experience with her of some sort. Just the thought that a woman could have showed up got me harder, and I had to ask Sam to take a break for a second so I wouldn’t cum. I could easily imagine how cool it would be to have a circle jerk with a woman involved. That thought got me ridiculously horny.
Another knock, and John arrived. He might have been around 70. Bald, tall, and also fit. Oddly, every man there was quite fit. I don’t know why. I would have been fine with someone who may have been flabby or fat or whatever, but even happier that we were such a healthy group.
The evening was going nicely. Sam had moved on to jerking himself. He didn’t need reciprocation from me, even though I offered. John, on the other hand, seemed to like some attention from me, so I started in on him. He stayed soft for a good five minutes and I was worried that he might just not harden up. But after a while, he became very hard indeed. I asked him a couple of times if I should do anything different – I had been alternating between ever so lightly touching his frenulum, then the tip of his dick, then actually stroking him in earnest a bit. He said, ‘no’, that he was just totally enjoying what I was doing.
Then, another knock at the door, and in walked Lori! A real, live woman. And good looking at that. She was only around 40, and although not tall, and rather rounded, you wouldn’t call her fat at all. She was just built a bit on the thick side. Or maybe not. I mean, her ass was small and tight, it’s just that she had big, gorgous boobs, with pretty pink nipples. She had olive skin and long black hair, like a southern Italian model.
Lori started taking off her clothes, and I was suffering from great amazement. Was this woman really going to join in our circle jerk? But no, she stopped removing clothing at a sort of one piece swimsuit like thing. She hugged Brian and Marty, and then kind of sat in Marty’s lap.
We all talked a bit, then she stepped out of her little suit, and was totally naked, just like all of us. But not like us at all. Every time I looked at her, I got electric shocks throughout my body. She had a small, thin patch of black hair on her pussy, and at one point, as she kind of turned over, I got a glimpse of her dark, puckered asshole. This was while Sam had resumed blowing me, and by God, I lost it. I came! I could have prevented that if I had been thinking more clearly. I wanted to tell Sam to stop, but I got confused and called him Brian, and so he didn’t respond, and kept going, so I came. But no problem. The evening was just too good for me to wilt away into nothing, although for a few minutes, I considered going home early, and it did take me a while to get it up again.
Lori started getting more involved. I’m guessing she’s one of those women who are not afraid of sex, even sex with several guys at once. She had Marty and Brian put on condoms. They decided they’d do some double-penetration. It would be a first ever DP experience for both Lori and Brian. Marty never mentioned whether he had done that before.
That whole thing didn’t work out quite as expected. Brian, who had been rock hard the whole evening so far, suddenly went soft after putting on the condom. They were going to fuck normally, with her on top, and then Marty was going to go into her butt from behind. But it took quite a while for Brian to get hard again, and of course that meant he had trouble getting it into her. Finally he did, at least sort of. Marty hung back, and I figured it might be a good idea to help Lori get her ass ready. So, while she was fucking with Brian, I just rubbed my index finger around her butt hole. I was concerned she might not like that. I was preparing to be embarrassed if she told me to stop that. But my attention had an immediate electrifying effect on her. She started bucking, and pressing her butt back, to get my finger to start penetrating into her. So I did just that, pushing it farther and farther in – ever so slowly, while stroking myself with my other hand. My recent ejaculation was forgotten, and I was getting all hard and horny again. Then Marty replaced me, and tried to get in a position to butt fuck her. They couldn’t quite manage a position that worked for the three of them, and so Marty backed off. Then she got off Brian, and Marty took his place, fucking Lori in the ordinary way. No one tried to butt fuck her again, so I pushed my finger back into her butt while she and Marty were going at it, and that sent her into a crashing orgasm.
Later, Brian had said that he felt Marty’s cock in her when he was fucking her, but it turns out what he felt was my finger, since they never quite managed double-penetration. I didn’t have the heart to tell him, because I’m pretty sure he would have been disappointed.
The evening wore on. At various times, pretty much all the guys sucked her tits, ate her pussy, or got a blowjob from Lori. Sam came when she blew him, and because our host Brian had said he likes having cum on his body, he pulled out of her mouth, and squirted some of his sperm on Brian. Shortly after, he dressed and went home.
Now, John and the others had got involved also with Lori and various men were fucking her. She announced that she wanted someone to cum on her tits. I was ready, and so I volunteered. She was having a great time being fucked sideways by John, and I started stroking over her chest. At the same time, suspecting she wanted more butt action, I pushed my finger back into her butt, and she had another crashing orgasm. That sent me over the edge, and so I came on her tits. She then climbed on Brian, spreading my cum onto his chest, which seems to have made his day.
Like all good things, the evening came to an end. We all thanked Brian on our way out. He told us that he was very pleased we came, that he thought it was a very successful evening, and he plans to do it again. He’ll drop us an email the next time he’s coming to town. We also thanked Lori, who turned it around and let us know that she was very, very happy to have been with us.
Sensory Decline: The very lightest touch a person can detect is called the sensory threshold. After age 25, men, and presumably women, have a slight decline in sensory threshold. Between ages 65 and 75, the sensory decline is greater. But have no fear, there’s plenty of feeling left at any age to have a great time.
Ben Wa balls, also known as rin-no-tama, Venus balls or Geisha balls, are a pair of balls, typically around an inch (2.5 cm) in diameter that are placed in the vagina for pleasure. They are often hollow, with weights inside, so that general movement of the body, such as walking or dancing, will cause ongoing stimulation inside tho vagina. Ben wa balls are often connected to a string to make retrieval easy. To keep the balls inside, a woman can squeeze her pubococcygeus muscle. Strengthening these muscles is a good idea for urinary incontinence and a few other health concerns (real or imagined), and ben wa balls are thought to be therapeutic.
Prostate Gland: This organ can be felt against the front edge of the rectum about three inches (10 cm) in. When rubbed or pressed, it offers a wonderful sensation that is somewhat similar to the “gotta pee” feeling, but better. The purpose of the prostate is to make semen, the bulk of ejaculate or cum, also known as prostatic fuid in which the sperm are supported.
Normally, the prostate is the size of a walnut. In older men, it can swell, sometimes considerably. Normally, the swelling is harmless, called BPE or benign prostate enlargement. It can become cancerous, or grow so large as to choke off the flow of urine. Cancer of the prostate usually develops slowly, and remains confined to the single organ for quite a while.
It is said that half of men who are autopsied have prostate cancer. Most never knew. Still, if you have concerns, or as part of a regular checkup, a medical professional should be consulted.
Regular exercise, good diet, and avoiding long periods of sitting reduce the risk of prostate troubles. Some say regular prostate massages are also useful. In any case, they can be quite pleasurable. The practitioner generally places a rubber gloved finger in a man’s rectum, and massages the specific area. This can be part of a more general massage, and may precede a happy ending.
The average man’s sperm count is down to a quarter of what it was 100 years ago. One theory is that underwear and tight-fitting pants don’t allow the testicles to stay cool enough. They are supposed to be a bit cooler than ordinary body temperature. That’s one reason they are externally housed in the scrotum.
Corona: The edge at the proximal end of the glans, or what you might call the end or edge of the glans. The corona is more prominent in some men then others. In some, especially circumcised men, it can be very sensitive. A few men enjoy applying small clamps to the corona or piercing it with needles.
Whereas these openings are capable of taking an entire fist, time and lots of lube is required to stretch them out. Moving too fast can cause injury. So, the first time fisting is done, expectations should be low. You may not get full penetration in the first session. No problem, there’s always next time.
The first stage in fisting is usually just one or two fingers. Leave them there for a while, so the vagina or anus can get used to being stretched a bit, then, after a long while, add the third finger, and if all is OK, fourth, and finally the fifth finger. Both the recipient and the fister will feel the opening start to loosen, and if experienced, they will know when it is time to push on.
Vaginal fisting stops at the wrist. The vaginal cavity is only so large. One can feel the cervix with the fingertips, and potentially one could stick a finger in the os, the opening of the cervix. However, this is painful for most women.
Most anal fisting stops at the wrist. But deeper fisting is possible. Some people have been able to accept an arm all the way to the elbow. This is not easy. About 10 inches (25 cm) in, there is a restriction at the top of the rectum, where it bends and becomes the descending colon. Care must be taken to work past this restriction.
Double Fisting: This usually refers to taking two fists in the rectum, but can also refer to one fist in the rectum, and the other in the vagina. This can be done by one who is quite experienced, but requires a lot of lube and time to allow the anus or vagina to accommodate such a wide load.
Punching or Punch Fisting: Once one is capable of fisting, one can start to accommodate something more. The anus can become sufficiently loose to accept a fist applied rapidly. At some point the speed at which a fist can be placed in the rectum is so fast, it is almost like punching. Some women can be punch fisted in their vaginas also.
BDSM, Edgeplay, SCC and RACK: Most people don’t like, or are wisely afraid of BDSM, which is generally understood to be a loose acronym for “Bondage and Sado-Machoism.” Sadism is about inflicting pain, or in many sexual contexts, pretending to inflict pain on others, and masochism is inflicting pain or having pain inflicted on oneself.
BDSM can range from very mild, such as ceremonially tying a person to a bed with loose bonds and tickling that individual, to very extreme, even unsafe edgeplay.
Edgeplay, which comes from the concept of playing with knives and sharp instruments, has come to mean anything that is on the ‘edge’ of safety.
In most BDSM scenes, the participants are referred to as a “top,” the one who is doing something to someone, and the “bottom,” the person who is having something done. The roles can stay fixed, or change back and forth in a session. Some people also use the concept of “master” and “slave,” and a few will take it to extremes, acting out the roles non-sexually over longer periods of time, and even in public.
For many, costuming, known as cosplay is a big part of BDSM. The most common versions are women dressing as extremely over-the-top ridiculous slutty, or as nurses, nannies, etc, and men dressing in leather.
One survey indicated that three out of four women would get a kick out of having their men dress as firemen.
Safewords are usually used in BDSM. The participants agree on a word the bottom can speak if the play becomes too intense. In proper consensual play, once that word is uttered, the play stops or is reduced immediately.
RACK, an acronym for Risk Aware Consensual Kink, is a more extreme version of SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual) play. This kind of play can be dangerous, and assumes that all participants are aware of the risk, and willing to proceed anyway. Examples would include things like having a play piercing all the way through one’s penis, or filling a bladder with whipped cream. Dangerous, but sometimes agreed to by both parties.
Sounding: Some men and women enjoy pushing long, thin things into their urethras, This is called sounding. Items used include pens, ball bearings, knitting needles, aquarium air tubing, and doubled up electrical cords, as well as plastic and stainless steel rods made specially for sounding called sounds. This is a dangerous activity because the lining of the urethra is very fragile. An item with even a very slight irregularity can tear the urethra. The urethra is also very prone to infection. If you must play with sounding, makes sure your sounds are sterilized. Make sure your hands, penis or vagina, and everything you set the sounds on are also sterile. Finally, let the sounds fall into your urethra of their own weight. Don’t push.
Some people will sound only part way, but others push items all the way in past their urinary sphincters to their bladders.
At first, sounding stings most people. It can be sufficiently uncomfortable that they never want to try it again. With some, or if the sounding is done very gently with lots of good lube, it can be painless from the very first time. Even if it doesn’t sting when going in or out, be careful, the stinging may start up the next time you urinate, and last several days.
Sounding is more eventful for men than women, because their urethras are much longer. Whereas the woman’s urethra is just under 2 inches (4 cm) long, the man’s is up to 14 inches (35 cm). The man is therefore much more prone to injury.
Being fucked from the inside out is an interesting, and delightful feeling, if it doesn’t sting. If you sound deeply enough to get to the sphincters, you’ll find the unusual version of a ‘gotta pee’ feeling quite interesting.
You might enjoy reading about one guy’s inconvenient sounding mistake:
The first night of a week-long business convention, I came back to my hotel, and started to watch some very mild porn on the cable TV. That got me horned up. Lately, I had been entertaining the idea of sounding – putting things in one’s peehole, and I noticed there was a complimentary pen in the room. Oh, that pen was just the ticket. It was long, round, and came nearly to a point at the back end, then tapered gently to a rather fat portion where one grips it, then tapered back down toward the point. It had the hotel’s name and phone number printed along the side. The whole pen was smooth, and I had learned that smooth is important because the inside of the urethra is sensitive. But what to use for lubricant? The only thing in the hotel room was a complimentary tube of shampoo. Hey, I was thinking, that’s viscous, right? It should do nicely.
I got immediately hard just thinking about what I was planning. I turned up the thermostat and watched a bit more of the mild porn until the room warmed up nicely. Then I took off all my stuff, stepped in the shower, got out, toweled off, savoring my erection the whole time.
Now, I was ready. I hopped on the bed with the tube of shampoo, and squirted some on the pen, spreading it all around the pen with my forefinger. Just to be on the safe side, I squirted a drop or two of shampoo directly onto my peehole, as well, but wasn’t bold enough to actually squirt some inside. OK, so I grabbed the pen, and slowly, ever so slowly, started sliding it’s long pointy end into my urethra. And it felt great. Well, a bit stingy, but not bad. I pushed it in further, and wham, I started ejaculating, quickly pulling the pen back out. Damn, that ejaculation stung a bit. And around my peehole was swollen a bit in a way I’ve never seen it before. Well, it must have been the shampoo. No big deal, right?
Wrong! Within a half-hour, my penis was not only stinging, it was aching at the same time. So badly I couldn’t stand entirely upright. I started worrying big time! I guess the shampoo wasn’t such a good idea. An hour later, I had to pee, but I knew it would be the worst, most awful stinging sensation of my life, so I held it quite a while. Finally, there was no way out. I was going to have to pee.
I sat in the bathtub, because it was too painful even to sit on the toilet. My dick was weirdly shaped. Kind of swollen, so it was longer and bigger around than a flaccid penis, but not like an erection. Kind of fat and soft. And the peehole itself was so swollen it was slightly protruding. Finally, I let out a tiny squirt of piss. Like maybe a teaspoon, and instantly recoiled in pain. Oh worries! I still had a lot of pee to go. I tried to relax and just tell myself it was going to hurt, and there was nothing that could be done other than to be relaxed as I could, and just let it flow. But no, I was able to relax only enough to let it out in small squirts, followed by a minute or so between each squirt of attempting to recover. I was just letting the little squirts flow out over my belly in the bath. I’d clean up later. Finally, I was done peeing, and I tried to go to sleep. Sleep was a long time coming. I was hoping by morning everything would be back to normal.
Wrong again! The morning urination was a repeat of the night before. Tiny little squirts, a minute apart, and totally stinging. The dick was still weirdly swollen, and still ached along with the stinging.
It took a while to get my clothes on, and get ready for the meeting. I took a cab even though the convention center was a block away. It hurt too much to walk. I spent the day standing in a hunched over position. I told people I had hurt my back. Around noon, and then in the late afternoon I had to pee again. I went into the toilet stalls in a restroom, and took my sweet, stinging time about it, trying hard not to yell out when the urine flowed and reactivated the sting to its fullest.
By that evening, the swelling had gone down a bit. I was fantastically relieved. I had started to entertain concern about having to go to the hospital, and of course I’d have to admit what I’d done. But now it was looking like that wouldn’t be necessary.
The next morning, the ache was gone, until my morning pee. Same thing, small, totally stinging spurts, and the ache returned. But not the swelling. By the end of the day, the ache was finally gone, and the stinging was reduced to occurring only after peeing for an hour or so. I was a bit less hunched over the next day.
A few days later, my better judgment got the best of me, and I had to try jerking off. The ache came back for a few minutes, and when I ejaculated, it stung pretty intensely. But it was still somewhat enjoyable.
At the end of the week, I was pretty much back to normal, and went home a stupid, but happy man. I’ll never repeat that mistake, but I have jerked off a number of times to the memory of it. You wouldn’t think such a thing could make a person horny, but I guess there’s something inexplicably alluring in that memory.
Tattoo: Some men enjoy getting tattoos on their penis, or scrotum, whereas women will sometimes have their vaginas, breasts and the area around their anus tattooed. For men, the glans (head of the penis) is a common target. It certainly must feel interesting while the tattoo is being applied. A few have had very small tattoos just inside their peeholes. That, too, must be an interesting sensation, but it probably doesn’t last as long as one would like. On the other hand, wouldn’t it be fun to show your peehole tattoo to people?
Recent scientific studies have shown that tattoo ink can cause health problems, so your author recommends being careful about how much tattoo ink you add to your body.
During ordinary intercourse, 75% of men have orgasms, while only 29% of women do. Many women secretly or overtly masturbate after their man is ‘finished.’
Epididymis: A puffy structure behind each testicle that attaches the blood vessels and spermatic cords. This can be pleasurably lightly squeezed. If you engage in extreme play, be careful about tearing the epididymis away from a testicle, and be careful about overly tight bondage that can cause injury of the epididymis or spermatic cords.
Whereas fingers are just the ticket for stimulating the sexual organs in all sorts of ways, they can also be applied to the urethra. Many women have long known that a fingertip in the urethra can be exciting. More recently, many men have been experimenting with a finger in their urethras.
This is not for everyone. In most cases, even the smallest finger won’t fit well into the peehole. But for those who do enjoy this play, that’s a major part of the fun – the challenge of eventually getting the little finger in the urethra past the first knuckle.
There are three problems associated with this play: One is that it can sting – quite a lot, if you’re the sort of person who tries really hard to accomplish something. With practice, the sting goes away.
The second problem is that you are running a small risk of a urethral infection. To minimize that risk, sterilize your finger, your meatus (peehole), and anything you’ll come in contact with using alcohol or hydrogen peroxide. Use lots of sterile, and very slippery lube.
Here are a couple of accounts from people who have played with fingers and urethras:
I have played with my own little finger from time to time, with pretty much no success. In other words, I never got even the first knuckle in. I did enjoy the efforts, however. I had a friend with typical man-size fingers try it recently, and although I was feeling some sting, I had him press and twist hard. I enjoyed it, but then started bleeding a little bit. My glans (head of penis) was swollen for a couple days after that.
Years ago, I knew a very skinny woman, and we played with her little finger. She pressed and twisted, and yes it did sting, but I was having so much fun, that I barely noticed the sting. Suddenly, after great effort, I felt a sort of pop, and her first knuckle was in. She felt the pop too, and it scared her. So, she immediately pulled her finger out. Ouch, that hurt! So, if you do this, remove the finger very slowly to avoid additional pain.
Four Popes have died while having sex.
When Glamour Magazine conducted a survey asking women whether they’d rather sleep with one man during a lifetime, or a hundred men, 75 percent responded, “One man,” and the other 25 percent responded, “100 men.”
Foreskin: The natural loose skin that covers the glans. On an uncircumcised man there is sufficient loose skin to enclose the glans in a tube, at least when the penis is flaccid. When erect, on some uncircumcised men, the foreskin retracts off the glans. On others, it stays over the glans. Some men have very tight foreskins, a condition called phimosis, in which the glans can never be totally uncovered. In many young boys, phimosis is normal, and as they reach puberty, the condition goes away.
Circumcision removes most of the foreskin. What’s left varies with each man, some still have enough to pull over the glans, while others are circumcised very ‘tight,’ leaving only a slightly flexible covering over the shaft of the penis.
There’s no way to tell, but many people believe a circumcised man has less feeling in his penis. Your author is circumcised, and still has plenty of wonderful feeling available, although sometimes he wonders if there could have been even more.
Some men who can pull their foreskins entirely over their glans enjoy playing with pinching the end of the foreskin closed, and then filling it with urine, holding it for a while, and then letting it go in a big splash.
Foreskin Restoration: Men who have been circumcised sometimes feel cheated and want their foreskins back. They can regenerate a reasonable facsimile by performing daily exercises to stretch the skin of their penis.
Orchidometer: Medical personnel have an instrument called an orchidometer. It is a series of plastic oval ‘balls’ in graduating sizes. The doctor or nurse holds them up to a patient’s scrotum, and compares, so as to get a measurement of that patient’s testicles.
PC Muscle: Also known an the Pubococcygeus muscle, or one of the perineal muscles or Kegel muscles, this lies at the bottom of the pelvic girdle, and assists in control of urine flow, ejaculation in men, and childbirth in women. Exercising this muscle, known as Kegel exercises is good for men’s problems with urine retention, premature ejaculation, maintaining an erection, and can help with techniques such as the big draw.
You can feel this muscle tighten if you make it a point to tighten your anus, or pretend you can extend your erection if you are a man. You may see your penis move slightly in response.
Peyronie’s syndrome: also known as Peyronie’s disease or induratio penis plastica is a condition that affects approximately one in twenty men. The usual symptom is a curvature of the penis more severe than the normal amount of curvature that most men have from birth. It can be accompanied by pain, difficulty in sexual intercourse, and ultimately lead to sexual dysfunction and depression. The disease is brought on by an inflammation of the tunica albuginea, the sheath covering the corpora cavernosa, the spongy inner portions that fill with blood during an erection. The disease result in long cord-like plaques. Injury is thought to be a factor, but some patients do not recall any sort of previous penile injury. Sometimes, rather than curvature, or in addition to curvature, the penis evidences depressed areas.
The condition is usually autonomous, but thirty percent of men suffer additional connective tissue disorders, such as in their hands.
Treatment options are unclear. Some patients respond to drug therapies, some spontaneously heal, while others get worse. Splinting and exercises work for some, and surgery, if performed by a specialist in this condition, may be helpful.
Penis Plug: Also known as urethral plug or cum stopper. A device pushed through the peehole and part-way into the urethra. Penis plugs come in two forms: Solid and hollow. The hollow ones can be worn for longer periods of time, because they don’t block urination. They also don’t block ejaculation, which can be more comfortable for a man. Some men, on the other hand, want to block their ejaculations.
Penis plugs have a big ball, disk or ring on the end so they won’t accidentally slip all the way into the urethra. While the urethra has a natural tendency to push foreign objects out, it might be otherwise possible to have the penis plug work its way into the bladder and become a permanent resident. This ejecting action of the urethra makes it difficult to wear a penis plug, because after a minute or so, the urethra will eject it. Some penis plugs have a ring that slips around the glans to retain the plug.
Some penis plugs have a threaded hole in the side about 1/2-inch (13 mm) from the distal end. Assuming the wearer has a Prince Albert piercing, a threaded attachment, typically a small ball, can be threaded through the piercing to retain the plug.
Studies have confirmed that gay men average slightly larger penises than straight men.
Phimosis: Rumor has it that King Louis XVI, of France (1754-1793), had phimosis. This is an abnormally tight foreskin. It does not usually happen due to disease or accident. One can be born with phimosis. Some historians mistakenly say that the king was circumcised to relieve the situation, and immediately after that, circumcision became popular in France, but that seems not to be the case. It is true that his marriage was childless for the first seven years, but then he and his wife Queen Marie Antoinette, had four children. Reports from people close to the couple indicate that they were simply not very sexually active. What with ruling all of France, perhaps they had other things on their minds. Then too, phimosis can make ordinary intercourse painful, and so perhaps the king’s natural inclination to fuck was trumped by the fact that fucking would hurt him.
Evidently the king’s doctors were consulted, and said that the dangers of circumcision outweighed any advantage. The operation would be painful in the days before anesthesia, the king would be indisposed for weeks, and if anything went wrong, such as an infection, they would have no good way to cure it.
King Louis died at the age of 38, not from an infection or anything like that, but due to beheading in the guillotine.
Phimosis can be so tight that the foreskin forms a point in front of the glans. The foreskin cannot be retracted, and trying to do so can hurt. The man with this condition runs an additional risk of infection around the always-covered top of the penis.
Occasionally a man with moderate phimosis suffers something worse: Before the penis is fully erect, the foreskin can be retracted. Then, when hard, the foreskin will not roll back into position. This forms a tight band behind the glans, which keeps the blood from flowing back out, and the man ends up with a condition in which the glans is being chocked off. These men can usually manage to get the foreskin back in position, but it can become a medical emergency.
Speaking of phimosis reminds me of a story that I believe is entirely true, told to me by an acquaintance who is not prone to lying or exaggerating. I’ll relate it in his words, as closely as I recall:
I grew up thinking my parents were slightly looney, kind of like ex-hippies. In fact, that’s pretty much what they were. They were also nudists. Of course as a child, I didn’t know that was uncommon. I just thought that when some company comes over to our house, we wear clothes, or ‘textiles’ as my parents called them, and with other company, clothes were not necessary. I don’t remember learning that we needed to wear clothes in school. It’s just something we did.
Oh, my parents and my sister saw me with erections many times. It’s natural, of course. I saw my parents making love many times. That too, was considered completely natural in our home. When my sister and I started masturbating, we didn’t have to close our bedroom doors or do it in secret. I mean, we could jerk off right at the dinner table, if we were so inclined. Mostly, we weren’t. I do believe, crazy as they are, my parents did a better job of raising us than most parents. Anyway…
One day around the time I was eighteen, I was idly touching myself while watching something-or-another on TV, and I was erect. My mom came closer in that way moms can do, with a concerned look on her face. She was studying my penis and that was slightly embarrassing. I mean, to have it just hanging out around the house, erect or not, is no big deal. But suddenly, she was staring right at it. She then simply said, “Your foreskin seems a bit tight.”
I was like, “So?”
She didn’t say anything more about it, and went back into the kitchen.
A couple of days later I come to find out she has made an appointment for a medical exam for me. It was the usual annual exam, but pushed up a couple of months. I’ve never cared for physicals. It seems there’s always one test or something that’s painful or inconvenient.
On the appointed day, I went along. What else could I do? The exam was routine, and actually more pleasant than expected until near the end when it was time for the genital check. My mom said something about the tight foreskin. The nurse practitioner who had been doing the usual things – you know checking my balls for lumps, testing for her hernia and all that, said something like, “Hmmmm, yes,” but didn’t examine me in any more detail. Instead, she called in the doctor. He took a brief look, didn’t even touch me down there, and walked back out.
When the exam was over, we met in front of the doctor’s desk for a brief conversation. No surprise, for the past several years, this was routine. He’d usually smile and say something like “Congratulations, Ben is in perfect health.”
This time, he wasn’t smiling. I was concerned during the seemingly very long series of pleasantries between him and my mother, before he started speaking about the situation at hand. He said, “You can’t leave the situation as-is. He is at risk of infection, plus, I think Ben will find intercourse painful.”
I was becoming quite embarrassed. They were talking about my prick!
He went on: “There are two choices, circumcision, and exercises.”
I knew there was no way I’d accept circumcision, and I doubted that my mom would either. She’s generally against medical intervention, although she seemed to think checkups were a good idea. But what were these exercises?
He went on to briefly explain that the foreskin could be stretched twice a day for perhaps ten times per session and that according to medical literature, that can do the job.
I breathed a sigh of relief, and enjoyed the ride home, knowing I wouldn’t be seeing the doctor again for a whole year, and especially knowing I could do the exercise and probably wouldn’t need circumcision.
A few days passed, and my mom asked whether I had been doing the exercises. I had to admit that I had forgotten all about it.
A few days after that, she asked again, and being one who does tell the truth, I sheepishly admitted that, no, I hadn’t.
With a look of exasperation, she said, “Come here,” patting the side of her bed she had been sitting on.
Wondering what she was planning to say, I was surprised when she instructed me to lay down on the bed. She then reached out, and gingerly touched my penis. Really, my mom was touching my dick! This was certainly interesting, but also somehow a bit icky.
She announced she was going to do the exercise for me, since I wasn’t doing it myself.
‘Oh, no!’ i thought. The exercise requires erection, and somehow I really didn’t want to get erect in my own mother’s hands.
She got up off the bed, went over to her dresser, and came back with a feather, saying “This ought to do the job.”
Coming back to the side of the bed in a rolling office chair, she approached me with the feather, and started to very gently tickle the underside of my prick. I tried to resist, if you can believe that, but in just a minute or less, I was hard as a rock.
Putting the feather down, she grabbed my foreskin between the thumb and forefinger of each hand and pulled down.
“Ouch!” That hurt!
She immediately let go and then after a few seconds, she did it again, but much more lightly. This time, it didn’t hurt at all. She held the foreskin like that for around ten seconds, then let go. She did it nine more times, during which I stayed very hard and erect. In fact, by the tenth time, I was close to ejaculating. Fortunately, she was done.
That evening, she and my dad had a little talk with me, and they decided they were going to be sure the exercises were done, either by me, or otherwise.
I assured them I’d do it myself.
But being a typical 18-year-old, I guess I forgot again. I was rather involved in baseball in those days, and everything else, even brushing my teeth, could be forgotten.
So, two days later, my dad had me on the bed, and did the same thing to me. Interestingly, I didn’t need him to do anything to get me hard. I was erect as soon as he announced he was going to do the thing. He was a bit rougher, but it didn’t really hurt. With him, I did ejaculate. He seemed momentarily taken aback by that, muttering, “Sorry.”
To make a long story short, the whole family got involved, especially my sister, who seemed to get a kick out of doing my exercises for me. I often feigned laziness, so someone would do it to me, rather than having to do it myself. No one seemed to mind, especially me. Over the course of a year, I grew to really love the exercise. Sometimes, I’d do it to myself. It pretty much replaced my regular jack-off routine. And, I have to admit that I didn’t mind that it was required twice a day. I came nearly every time. At first my parents were kind of stand-offish about me ejaculating in their hands. But being the hippies they are, they learned to take it in stride, and more than once went out of their way to explain to me, as if I needed to hear it, that it was a therapeutic routine, nothing sexual about it.
My sister, on the other hand, jerked me off – I mean, administered the exercises – with delight. On a couple of occasions, I reciprocated by ‘playing doctor’ with her, which she seemed to really enjoy. Basically, it was me just rubbing her clit until she orgasmed. Oddly, and I guess naturally, we never went beyond that sexually. I mean, we are brother and sister, after all.
It all came to an end about a year later, when we all pretty much knew the exercises had worked as promised. I was able to retract my foreskin all the way, and easily return it to position even when fully hard. Plus, my sister headed back to university, and I was headed off to junior college.
Sometimes, my wife delights in me retelling her this story, and she always wants to reinact the scene. At various times she pretends to be my father, my mother, or my sister. Sometimes, she plays the role of the nurse practitioner, doing things that an actual nurse practitioner would never do.
Priapism: A painful and dangerous condition in which an erection fails to subside. This can be a symptom of leukemia or sickle-cell anemia, but can also be caused by abuse. Erections should not last longer than four hours because the blood can start clotting, then reducing the erection is very difficult. A shot of pseudoepinephrine might do the job, but if not, aspiration with a huge needle, or even surgery may be required.
Heavyset men take longer to reach orgasm.
Urethral Stretching: This is a practice some people enjoy, but others would find too painful to even think about. The ideas is to stick larger and larger things into your peehole to stretch it. As mentioned earlier, some women have stretched their urethras to the point where a penis can be inserted. Some men have surgically expanded their peeholes to accommodate items larger than they could before. For men, there are two restrictions on urethral stretching. The first is the opening itself, the meatus, the second restriction is about 1/2-inch (1 cm) into the urethra. Once past these two obstacles, items can slide in several inches without interference. Just like sounding, this needs to be done with caution to avoid both physical injury and infection.
Prostaglandin E1: A prescription drug that goes under the brand names Caverject, Edex, and Muse. This is a liquid that can be injected into the penis, resulting in a hard, nearly immediate erection. It can also be taken as a urethral suppository. Typically used by the medical profession when an erection is needed, such as when testing whether a patient has a physical erectile dysfunction versus psychological, or when the penis must be hard for a surgical procedure. The injectable form often comes in a syringe with a short needle, approximately 1 cm in length, so the user doesn’t have to be concerned about what depth to penetrate.
This same drug is given to newborns with the blue baby syndrome, in which blood vessels around the heart aren’t formed right. Prostaglandine E1 expands their blood flow until surgery can be performed.
Pubic Hair: As humans evolved, and we learned to heat our homes and wear clothing, we lost the hair off most of our bodies except the tops of our heads, our armpits and our genital regions. Why? The theory is that the hair of the armpits and genital areas retain the sexual scents we give off, known as pheromones.
Until the 1990s, few women and fewer men removed their pubic hair. Then something changed. Most women appearing in pornography shaved, and that started to sway the general population. Modern techniques for hair removal also helped bring in the new trend. In time, many men who wouldn’t have dreamed of showing up in the showers or locker room with a shaved crotch started discovering that it was ‘OK.’ Now, it is perfectly normal for men to trim or shave their pubic regions. Studies indicate that 10 out of every 100 men shave their pubic regions regularly.
I heard about Sandstone Retreat from a neighbor. Harry and I regularly talked about sexual matters when we went fishing together. It was really vulnerable conversation, but we were good friends, both married with grown children, and felt we could trust each other with our secrets. We talked about how much we enjoyed masturbation, how our wives’ sexual appetites had slowed down, teenage sexual exploits, and so on.
One day, he was just bursting to tell me about a party he and his wife had attended. It was at a place called Sandstone Retreat. I perked up when he said most of the guests at the party were naked. Naked? Really! He then told me that there were always amazing parties at Sandstone, and all I had to do was to phone them and tell them I’d like to attend. The person on the phone would conduct a brief interview, and if I wasn’t a pervert or mass-murderer, I’d be allowed to come to the party too, as long as I brought my wife.
Ah, so much for that idea! But come to think of it, how had he talked his wife into it? He didn’t. She suggested it when she heard about it from one of her clients. She was a psychologist, and had some wealthy, well-connected clients. She evidently decided that the lull in their sex life was due to lack of stimulation, lack of ‘newness’ not just some sort of hormonal downturn. When a client told her about it, she figured this Sandstone place might shake up things quite nicely.
Well, a couple of weeks later, I managed to steer a conversation with my wife to her thoughts about her recent lack of sexual interest. I let her know that I loved her, and was not trying to talk her into anything. After all, I masturbated frequently, she knew that, and it took the pressure off. But, I was wondering whether she missed our former sexual level. She did! Very much so, to my surprise. Very carefully, I talked to her about what was called “swinging.” She knew the term, and to my complete dumb-struck surprise, she said she would have brought it up long ago, but was worried I’d disapprove.
To cut the story short, we decided to give Sandstone a try. We didn’t really know what it was, but a party with naked people, and perhaps some sort of sexual activity with strangers might be the best thing in the world for our marriage, not the worst. We discussed it, and we both felt our love was strong and we could handle each other getting sexually involved with other people. After all, marriage isn’t about possession of each other. It’s not like, “You’re mine, and I’m not sharing you with anyone.” If you really love someone, you let them enjoy themselves in any way that doesn’t bring harm to themselves or others. It turns out that was one of the basic tenants of Sandstone.
So, one Saturday evening found us winding way up into the hills into Topanga Canyon, inland from Malibu, California, which is a suburb of Los Angeles. Way into the hills. The place was remarkably isolated, and I added about ten miles to the trip going back and forth looking for the final turn-off.
We arrived around 8pm, and there were already thirty or forty cars parked in the dirt parking lot and along the long, eucalyptus-lined driveway. Some of the cars were ordinary Ford Falcons and Mercury station wagons. But most were ostentatious. There were low-slung foreign sports cars, Mercedes, and even a Rolls-Royce. Hmmm, interesting already!
We parked our yellow Mustang, and admired the view of the far-away lights of Malibu as we walked quite a ways to the main house, and were greeted at the door by Marty, a fully-naked, barrel-chested short-haired gentleman about 45 years old. He was jovial and welcomed us with open arms – literally. He gave me and my wife Sandra a wonderful bear hug. Well, wonderful for her. I was a bit, well, taken aback being hugged by a naked man, who, by the way, was waving his erection around as if it didn’t matter in the slightest. When he hugged me, I felt his boner pressing momentarily against the keys in my pocket.
He brought us in, and showed us to the cloakroom, where he explained we could store as much clothing as we chose. We remained clothed at the moment, and he led us into the enormous living room. It was as large as a tennis court, and well appointed with excellent original paintings on the walls, a thick carpet, and sumptuous furniture. I asked Marty why the chairs were so short. It was as if someone had cut the legs off them. He said they had indeed cut the legs off, and told us it makes conversation more comfortable and intimate. Most of the chairs housed people, almost all of whom were stark naked. Some of them looked familiar, and I think they might have been rock musicians or movie stars. I couldn’t quite tell, them being naked and all. I immediately felt out of place with my Hawaiian shirt, shorts and sandals. I was thinking Sandra also felt over-dressed for the occasion. There were at least a dozen others standing around in conversations holding glasses of wine and snacks. They were all naked also. Over on a love seat in a bright lamp-lit corner, a woman was giving a man a blow job – right in front of everyone. I didn’t know whether it might be alright to stare at them, so I quickly looked away.
Harry and his wife Janet were there, about 30 feet away from each other. Harry introduced us to the woman who he had been talking with while looking intently into her eyes and fondling her shoulders, and Janet introduced us to the man she was talking with. Both Harry and Janet seemed totally fine with their spouses hanging with these other people. Somehow, it was momentarily shocking to see the two of them fully nude. Especially Marty, because even though we had frequently talked about sex and all that, I had never actually seen his penis. It made me feel conspicuously over-dressed again. On the other hand, I would not want to have been naked at that moment. I especially would have felt shy about Janet seeing me naked, even though pretty much everyone else was. Then too, I’m not sure I’d measure up to Harry, and some of the other men there, if you know what I mean. But then again, some of the men were smaller than me, so that helped my confidence. But what about Sandra? How would I feel about her being naked among all these people? I thought about it a moment, and the answer surprised me. I wouldn’t be worried, or jealous or anything like that. I’d actually be proud. She is quite a looker. Her Asian good looks always turned heads, and stark naked, she’s even more beautiful, with her long black hair, and pert, tight little breasts. People probably wonder what she sees in a pudge like me.
A striking woman made an entrance with a large cat on a leash. A very large, tan-colored cat with a short tail. I found out later, that’s a very friendly bobcat and one of the residents of Sandstone, they all call PC. The woman was tall, slender, had medium sized breasts (which I couldn’t help noticing), and had short-cropped curly blond hair. She was surprisingly androgynous other than her beautiful breasts, and the closely trimmed darker blond hair over her vagina. Everyone kind of turned toward her, as if she were royalty. Marty steered her over to us and made introductions. It turns out she was Barbara Williamson, co-founder with her husband John, of Sandstone Retreat.
She seemed very happy to have us as new guests to her party, and took a few minutes to explain their philosophy about open sexuality, communal living, not as hippies, but on a wealthier, more materialistic scale, loving all humans and animals too, and zero population growth, among other things. Marty told her about my novels, and she had actually read one of them. Right away, she seemed like a downright good person. And, we found out later, the feeling was mutual. During that first conversation she told us about membership, that we could become members, spending full weekends there, for $240 per year. Marty took us aside after the conversation and said, “Barb really likes you two. She never invites people to be members until she has really checked them out.”
Next, we were shown the Olympic size swimming pool, and noticed a half dozen naked people milling about in the water. They didn’t seem cold, which is not typical for idling in typical pools. I stuck my hand in and found the water was warm. Marty told us the temperature is maintained at 92 degrees, to make the water more inviting and intimate.
Finally, we went downstairs to the ‘ballroom.’ That’s what they called it. It was as large as a descent ballroom, but it wasn’t a ballroom in the typical sense. It would be difficult for lots of people to dance in there. First of all, the floor was covered in wall to wall shag carpet. Spread randomly on the floor were more than a dozen mattresses. The lighting was colored and subdued. In a moment, Sandra nudged me and whispered, “Do you know why they call it a ballroom? It’s because people ball in here.” That was a term people often used at the time for fucking. And sure enough, there were two couples who were, well, doing things.
One of the couples were just finishing a handjob, by the looks of things. She was a very white woman who probably hadn’t been out in the sun in a long time, judging by her lack of tan, and the other was a very black man, who was getting up just as we approached. His non-circumcised penis was still hard and glistening from what she had just been doing to him. I realized he wasn’t very tall, maybe 5′ 7″ or so, and noticed that one eye stared straight ahead. Holy mackerel! It was Sammy Davis Jr. I was shaking Sammy Davis Jr’s hand! As he was telling me he too had read my books, every single one of them, he was stark naked, and his penis was still partially erect. My wife was flattered beyond belief as he kissed the back of her hand, then gave her a big, old bear hug.
Well, there was only one thing we could do after that. Sandra and I went back up to the cloakroom, removed all our clothing, and enjoyed the party.
We returned the next weekend as full-fledged members, and after a month moved into one of the cabins on the property. Since our kids were now out of the house, we knew Sandstone would be the perfect retirement for us. We were a bit young to retire, but the money was there. We were now full-time, live-in Sandstone volunteers. Since I had been a writer and fairly well-known public speaker, my job was to handle publicity and public relations. Actually, John Williamson did most of the appearances, such as on the Johnny Carson show, but I spoke at corporate events, local news interviews, and all the things John didn’t have time for. Sandra became the primary telephone person, answering the dozens of calls that came in to the retreat every day. We stayed until John and Barbara were ready for new adventures and sold the retreat property in 1972. It was a somewhat sad time, but we were happy for them. PC had become so much a part of their lives, that they were planning to start a new kind of retreat. A place in Oregon to take care of big cats including lions and tigers. Sandra and I bought ourselves a motorhome and decided to tour America’s nude beaches. We decided it might be fun to try to discover every nude beach in America, and have been working on that project ever since.
Scrotum: Many men do not pay much attention to the scrotum, but may learn in time that very pleasurable sensations can be had in the scrotum. One of the favored techniques is to very lightly brush the scrotum with a soft brush, a feather, a very light touch of a fingertip, or the corner of a sheet of toilet paper. For best results, start with remarkably light strokes, some of which may not touch the scrotum at all. In fact, just touching the hairs on the scrotum does the job nicely, causing a delicious feeling. This is best done early in a session, leading up to more intense activities only after the scrotum has been satisfied.
Another technique many men like is to grab the bottom of the scrotum below the testicles with the curled up fingers of one hand, so it can be firmly pulled. If you’re doing it for someone else, be careful about fingernails, they do not add pleasure to the situation. Simply pulling and holding the scrotum is quite enjoyable. Along the same lines, the scrotum can be grabbed with two hands and stretched out as much as possible. When loose and warm, you may be surprised how many square inches of scrotum you have.
A few men enjoy scrotum piercing, called hafada. Like any such technique, risk of infection is high, although less high than piercing the testicles themselves. The scrotum, unlike the testicles, can sustain one or more long-term piercings. One common type is a single small ring on one side, toward the top of the scrotum. Another is a scrotal ladder, consisting of a series of rings or small ball-ended bars in a vertical line up the middle of the scrotum.
The most typical genital hair removal that men do is total shaving of the scrotum and along the inner legs where the scrotum is frequently in contact. The first few days may be itchy, and you may be surprised to feel the scrotum sticking to your legs when you are sweaty – something you might not have felt since adolescence, but these sensations normalize in a few days.
Skin Bridge: You’d think that since surgeons are capable of micro-surgery, tying together blood vessels almost too small to see, that a simple circumcision ought to be easy enough to get right. But often, circumcisions are botched. A classic result is a skin bridge, in which some of the skin from the side of the penis attaches to the corona. The attachment heals, and becomes permanent, unless corrected by additional surgery later on. Of course the surgery to detach a skin bridge is trivial, but many boys and men opt not to do it.
Smoking: Studies have proven that smoking cigarettes can make it more difficult to get erect, and the dicks of smokers actually shorten over time. A specific scientific study found that smokers had shortened their penises by almost a half-inch (13 mm).
Spanking: Many people like being spanked. For some, this soothes a psychological reflection on the past when they were children. For others, it is just plain erotic. Spanking is usually light and ritualistic, but can be severe enough to break the skin and cause bruising in extreme BDSM play. One common scenario is that a woman has her pants pulled down and is laid face down on her “daddy’s” lap, at which point she receives a spanking on her butt.
Some men prefer spankings consisting of occasional slaps while they are having intercourse. Others like to have their balls or even their penis mildly spanked.
Standardized Patient: This is a person who is paid to pose as a medical patient so nurses and doctors in training can learn their procedures. These days, many procedures are learned on plastic anatomically-correct models. But there are still techniques that need to be learned from real, live people, who can say, “Ouch!” Doctors and nurses can only do so much on each other, eventually they need standardized patients. These are often other college students and general members of the community who would enjoy being paid well for a few hours of work.
Most of the procedures are relatively routine and painless, such as getting a general physical exam, having blood drawn, or an EKG. But the medical personnel do need to learn everything, and that would include digital rectal exam, hernia check, and urinary catheterization. Some standardized patients really enjoy these situations. If a standardized patient should develop an erection during a procedure, the students are typically told that it’s normal, they should put the patient at ease, and generally ignore it. If the standardized patient becomes erect early on, things can get interesting as each student in succession continues to do whatever it is they have to do to this person while he is erect.
Testicles: A pair of glands located in a sack of skin called the scrotum below the penis. Often ignored by the man in sex and masturbation, the testicles, also known as the balls can be a source of pleasure.
Many men enjoy a light massage of the testicles. When done by a friend, this can make the man feel quite vulnerable since someone could squeeze too hard and hurt the testicles. This vulnerability can raise arousal. Men have been known to have orgasms just from testicle massage.
Women often enjoy playing with man’s testicles. The idea that a sudden impact can cause great pain excites some women. Whereas they would not intentionally hurt their men, they enjoy the thought as they play with them. In fact, quite often, the men who enjoy testicle massage have to tell their women to squeeze harder than the women feel is the right amount.
More men than you might expect enjoy a firm testicle massage, if it is done properly. First, the person giving the massage must be careful to avoid pressing on the top back sides of the testicles where the blood vessels and spermatic cords attach, a some what puffy structure behind each testicle called the epididymis. Pressing there is suddenly and severely painful, although probably harmless unless the pressure is rather extreme.
If you avoid the sensitive areas and get the angles right, you can press remarkably firmly on some men’s balls, and not only does it not hurt them, they love it.
The testicles themselves are contained in a tough, pliable layer. They’re more like chicken gizzards than grapes. You probably cannot injure a testicle with ordinary hand pressure. If you were to apply pressure or impact with any sort of instrument with a sharp edge, that could cause an injury. However, you can manage to tear the epididymis away from a testicle, and that would be bad news. You might also cause testicular torsion. Although rare, it is when a testicle becomes twisted on the end of the spermatic cord, and circulation is cut off. it is very painful, and emergency surgery is usually performed.
A factor that helps in having a man enjoy a firm testicle massage is to build up slowly. Start with light pressure, and watch the man’s physiology. He may suddenly jump or squirm if you’ve pressed too hard, or have the wrong angle.
Some men like one testicle massaged at a time. The majority enjoy both at the same time, one in each hand. being manipulated between thumbs and forefingers.
Techniques vary. You can squeeze and hold, you can pulsate, and your can make the balls squish back and forth in your grip like little bars of wet soap. Your man will let you know what he likes, and does not like.
Keep in mind that there are some men who do not like testicle manipulation at all.
Men generally can tell a difference between their testicles. One can take more pressure, or feels differently when massaged, than the other.
Impacts to the testicles can cause severe pain. Again, some men will play with this, having a friend slap their balls or hit them with an object, such as a wooden spoon or bonger. The usual approach is to start with light hits, and then build up until the man says “Stop!”
Another activity that some men enjoy is testicle bondage. It is easy to find cord, string or anything similar and wrap it around the upper part of the scrotum, locking the balls in the lower part of the scrotum. This is sometimes used in testicle play to keep them available, rather than letting the testicles slip up into the body cavity. It can be enjoyable in itself, in a ritualistic way.
Please be careful if you engage in testicle bondage. Do not use small diameter thread or string, as this can cut or bruise the structures within the scrotum. Tying the scrotum very tightly can cut off circulation to the testicles as well as the scrotum. It is interesting to see the scrotum turn blue, but a bit dangerous, as well. Obviously, the circulation should be cut off for only a short time, otherwise the testicles can literally die. When the circulation is restored, the testicles can feel any combination of tingly, heavy, full, and somehow more vibrant.
However there is one more caution that you should be aware of in testicle bondage: The extreme pressure on the spermatic cords and blood vessels can cause a cyst to form. These are usually just a harmless new lump in the scrotum, but can become large, and painful.
Testicles can be trouble-prone, especially for young men. Testicular cancer seldom affects men over age 40, but is a fairly common form of cancer in younger men. Periodically feeling the balls for lumps or changes is a good idea. If something does change, consult a medical professional before things get worse. Fortunately, most such bumps and changes are minor or benign, such as cysts within the epididymis.
Your author once read of an account where a man’s wife squeezed his testicles hard, for a fairly long time. When she finally let go, they were soft and squishy. Evidently, the blood or fluid was forced out of them, and took a while to return. I tried this with my wife, having her squeeze somewhat beyond a point of mild pain, and hold them for a good two or three minutes. When she let go, she felt my balls, and then I felt my balls, and we could not determine any unusual softness. I feel like this experiment is not yet over. I’m interested in having her try it again, but harder and for longer.
Urination: People of all sexes sometimes find this act surprisingly erotic. Some people play with it. One version is to hold urine as long as possible, resulting an a spectacular flow when they finally do urinate.
Another form of play, generally for men, involves blocking the flow of urine. One way is to wrap the end of the penis in cloth to protect the skin, and then bind it tightly with string or rubber bands. A simpler version is to simply squeeze the meatus (peehole) closed with thumb and forefinger. Yet another version is to bind the penis just ahead of, or behind the scrotum. In the latter case, the spermatic cords are also bound, which can be a bit dangerous.
What happens is that at first the urethra fills with some urine. You can see the penis, whether hard or soft at the time, swell and curve upward. After a moment, if the urine isn’t released, the body starts involuntary contractions to force it out. Many men have never experienced these contractions. They are much stronger than orgasmic contractions. These are remarkably powerful and can be quite painful. The pain usually occurs where the the penis is bound as the urethra is stretched by the pressure. Unless the binding is very tight, some urine will be forced out of the penis.
If the binding is too tight, you may be causing a problem, as the contractions may be too powerful, causing extreme pain or damage when the urine cannot escape.
Human evolution probably developed this strong spasming or contracting reaction to help rid the body of bladder stones.
This practice may be dangerous, as unnatural forces are built up, potentially causing damage to the urethra, ureters, or even the kidneys.
A safer version is to squeeze the end of your penis until it fills with urine, then let go so a heavy-duty splat of urine flows out. Then squeeze it again, and release another high-pressure, high-volume spurt of urine. Continue, and perhaps vary the frequency, so you can have a sort of pulsating urination.
Uncircumcised men enjoy urinating into their foreskin, temporarily held closed with thumb and forefinger.
Your author is inexperienced in female urine retention, but quite possibly women would also enjoy playing with the idea of blocking the flow of urine.
You might also be interested in peegasm, the skill of ejaculating and urinating at the same time.
YouTube: YouTube.com has a strongly enforced policy against sexual content, but some interesting videos can slip through the cracks. One classification is instructional videos, such as on female genital waxing, medical examinations, or penis enlargement techniques. Yes, you can see actual erections on YouTube.
Another classification that passes YouTube is artistic works, such as dances, photography collections, kinetic art, even if the subjects appear nude.
Far too many videos are uploaded for YouTube personnel to approve each one. Therefore, anyone can upload any video, but if the public complains, it will be taken down. You can sometimes see some before anyone flags them by entering a search term and then click the Filters button and then Upload Date.
You might try a keyword search for “explicit full movie.” That turns up a playlist, currently 79 movies long, of remarkably pornographic content, by YouTube standards.
That’s all folks. I hope you’ve enjoyed this book! – JJ Watson