A ruined orgasm isn’t anything like what it sounds like. Instead, it is a situation in which a man is stimulated to ejaculation, but just before the ejaculation starts, the stimulation is discontinued. The man ends up cumming anyway, but without the satisfaction of the continuing physical contact during the orgasm. For some men, in some circumstances, this is a frustrating feeling, hence, “ruined.” For others, it is very exciting. An interesting consequence in some cases is that after the ejaculation, the penis may stay erect, and the recipient can enjoy a second or even third ejaculation.
Ruined orgasms are usually achieved with handjobs, but can be performed in other ways, such as through oral or anal sex.
Ruined orgasms are often part of light BDSM scenes, in which a partner ‘ruins’ the orgasm.
Hands-free orgasms are often synonymous, but are more often a solo exercise. Hands-free orgasms, often abbreviated HFO, can also be different in that they are sometimes set off without stimulation, or with light, intermittent stimulation.
Whereas most discussion of ruined orgasm pertains to men, women can do it too. I recently talked with @SoloRuinOrgasm on Twitter, who brought that to my attention. Just like a man, a woman can get so close to orgasm that she can’t stop it, but she can stop the stimulation. You’ll see some hands-free orgasming (ruined orgasm) women on that Twitter feed.