I was immediately attracted to my first college roommate. Oh, I don’t mean in a sexual way, but this guy was somehow kind of special. He was perhaps 2 inches taller than me, thin, had long wavy hair, but the main thing was his wry smile and a kind of twinkle in his eye. When he’d talk with you, in his usual way of using few words, and mostly asking questions, sometimes quite personal questions, you could swear that he winked at you once or twice.
I knew that even though I’d miss my family, this would be a great year with Kevin as a roommate.
I was honored that he wanted to join me in the cafeteria during our first week. I didn’t know anyone there, and was rather too shy to make friends. We talked about his family and my family. Mostly my family. Every now and then people would come up to him and say ‘Hi Kevin,’ as if they’d known him for ages. How did he do that? They also treated him kind of like a movie star. I mean, he wasn’t famous or anything, he grew up on a farm in a fairly isolated small town, but people acted as if he was someone special.
About the second week, I barged into our dorm room and was immediately, totally embarrassed – for Kevin. There he was, without a stitch of clothing on, sitting sideways in his chair next to his computer, jerking off. I was like, “Oh… um… I’ll come back later…”
As casual as if we were in the cafeteria eating, he said, “Naw Jason, it’s cool. I don’t mind if you’re here.”
I really wanted to leave, but under the circumstances, bolting out of the room seemed even less appropriate than staying. In fact, I was frozen in the doorway, with one hand on the knob, not quite knowing what to do.
He kept jerking off. I saw on his computer a still image of a woman with her ass up in the air. She was wearing a bikini, but it had slipped to one side, partially showing her asshole – definitely pornography.
I don’t know how long it took me to come away from the door. I believe, looking back on that moment, that I had been holding the door open. It was a busy hallway outside. Anyone could have come by and seen Kevin all naked and erect and masturbating like that. Yet, he didn’t seem to care.
Finally, I came in the room, took off my jacket, and sat down at my own desk. I tried to engage in some studying, but couldn’t focus. Every now and then, without trying to seem obvious, I’d turn around a little bit to see Kevin. He was still wanking away. Nothing was said between us.
After a couple of minutes, I quietly heard him say “Mmmm.” I had to glance over, and he was arching his back, kind of pushing his long, hard penis forward, and obviously about to ejaculate.
“Mmm, Oh!” and then, “Jason!”
I looked again. He was cumming into a few sheets of toilet paper. Why he called my name, I didn’t understand for a long time afterward. Today, I realize it wasn’t a sexual thing. He just wanted me to see, the way a kid riding a bike without hands wants you to watch.
In fact, it didn’t seem to be a sexual thing at all with him. Over the next few months, it happened many times. We’d be studying, and he’d go over, lay on his bed, and jerk off. Or he’d do it in his chair. He asked me if I wanted to join in like 20 times.
I always politely declined. It was out of pure shyness. I so, really, totally wanted to jerk off with him! But there was no way I could admit it. Oddly, he seemed fine with that.
Instead, I’d ever so quietly jerk off under my blankets in bed at night, after I figured he had gone to sleep. I always felt so sneaky, like, ‘he’d better be asleep, because I don’t want to be caught.’
The year ended without me ever once being so much as seen naked by Kevin. He was happy as a clam, no matter what. He had lots of friends. I have no idea what his sex life was like. Was he banging some of the girls he hung out with? So far as I know, they never had private time in our little dorm room. Was he gay? Again, I have no idea. He had lots of friends of both sexes.
Even with the crazy jerking off business, I really liked Kevin. I secretly hoped I could get bold enough to wank with him. The more I thought about it, the more I really wanted it, and yet, I could never, ever, bring myself to do it!
To this day, even though I’m well established in a research laboratory, and have done some ground breaking work in pollution eating bacteria, I’m still totally shy. Oh, I can get up in front of 200 colleagues and give a speech. In fact that’s easy. But to talk with a woman, that’s a totally different matter. I finally managed to trap Maggie. She’s the most wonderful woman in the world! Oh, maybe not much to look at, but she is my wife, my companion, and my true, true friend. Of course we’ve had sex. Lots of it! But I’ve never let her see me masturbate. I’ve got to work on that.