Not Sure

My girlfriend says she’s not ‘ready.’ She won’t even masturbate with me or even show me her whole self naked.

On the other hand, my buddy and I have jerked each other off a few times. I’m starting to figure out that it’s natural and nice. One doesn’t have to be ‘gay’ to have a good time with a friend. Of course, if one is gay, that’s fine too, right?

So the day before yesterday, he proposed something new. He heard about ‘tantric masturbation’ and explained it to me. We decided to give it a try. Since the other day, I’ve read up on tantric stuff. I’m not sure that’s what we did, but it was fun in any case.

First, I started on him. The idea is I’d bring him close to cumming, but not let him go over the edge. I was basically sitting next to him while he was laying on his bed, and holding his balls gently with one hand, and jerking him with the other. Every time he got close, he let me know, and I stopped for a minute.

His cock became as hard as I’ve ever seen it. He was squirming, and laughing, but I could tell he was so close to cumming several times that he was like in another world.

After a while, I let go of his balls, pushed his legs farther apart, and placed my finger against his anus. I didn’t even push it in. He yelled “WAIT!” again, but it was too late, he came right away, spurting out buckets. I swear, his sperm went a foot in the air.

Then it was my turn. He wanked me and wanked me. Every time I got close, I let him know, and he stopped. This went on quite a while. I almost came like five times.

Before I knew it, and before I wanted it, it was over. He stopped. He told me it was better this way – that I should be satisfied without ever having ejaculated.

I wasn’t so sure. I’m still not so sure. I went home all sexually charged up. Contrary to what every bone in my body wanted, I didn’t jerk off when I got home. It would have been difficult anyway, with my sister home and all.

Now I swear there was a benefit. It just seemed to me that for the rest of the day, colors were a bit brighter, sounds were a bit crisper, my thinking might have been one notch clearer. Yup, I stayed horny, but it seems like it was in a good way.

After dinner, homework and some TV with the family, you can bet I jerked off. But taking what my friend said a step further, I kept doing that tantric thing, which I believe is also called edging. But, here’s the thing: I didn’t ejaculate. I haven’t even now, and it’s been two days. I did masturbate, I just didn’t let myself cum. I’m still seeing, hearing and thinking more clearly. Maybe even smelling and tasting with more clarity. Is that possible, or am I just imagining it? I don’t know. What are your thoughts about that?