I attended the annual Masturbate-A-Thon in San Francisco. I went three years running. Every year was better than the last. I considered it the world’s greatest sex party. This was my first year. About 120 people showed up, 70% male, 30% female. The idea was to wank for charity. Like a walk-a-thon, friends, family and coworkers pledged. But pledges weren’t amounts of money for miles covered. It was for minutes masturbated, or in a few cases, for number of orgasms.
I had to overcome some serious shyness to ask friends and coworkers, “Hey, I’m going to the Masturbate-A-Thon, do you want to pledge some money?” Surprisingly, eight of them did pledge. They were all quite supportive. I expected some would be shocked, maybe even giving me religious anti-masturbation lectures or something. But no, none of that. I invited all them to attend with me, but none did.
I invited my wife, and she said “OK.” But then day before the event was to take place, she backed out, and was mad at me because I still wanted to attend. I was sad she wouldn’t be there with me, but wouldn’t have missed it for the world!
I showed up an hour early and volunteered to help out. I helped a guy move hand trucks full of snacks and soda, I ran a floor sweeper and things like that. A couple of the volunteers were naked. Most were clothed. I took my clothes off, felt silly, then put them back on. One guy, a fellow I’ve mentioned in other articles here on Sex270, was not only naked, but sporting a boner, as he climbed up a ladder to run a video cable to the stage area.
Oh, yes, people who signed a waiver and got a purple wrist band would be videoed if they so chose. The video was a live internet feed, and a downloadable video would follow. At one point, to my total surprise, I found myself on that stage getting a handjob from none other than Nina Hartley, one of the world’s greatest porn stars, while clothed technicians with big handheld video cameras were filming me, sometimes quite close. That ended all too soon. (No, I didn’t cum in her hands.)
All in all, it was a spectacular party. It wasn’t just that over a hundred strangers got naked together and jerked off, most managing to edge, to hold it in, for hours. It was much more too. It was great conversation and companionship.
I want to tell you the most erotic part of the whole thing, what I remember most, and what makes me most horny when I look back on it, even to this day. And, it isn’t anything you probably would have guessed. The thing that I really remember is that once, during our allotted 5-minute break every hour, I had to go pee. I had to walk through a narrow hallway that was crowded with an assortment of clothed people. There were San Francisco dignitaries, news people, and others. Some were coming from or going to the viewing gallery, where some people had paid $40 per head not to participate, but only to watch. Go figure!
So, squeezing stark naked through the crowded hallway, with my boner sticking out at a strong right angle, I was like ‘excuse me, excuse me.’ At one point, I turned sort of sideways, and slipped past an elegant youngish woman dressed in a business suit and high heels. As I passed, my penis brushed against her hip. I quietly said, “Sorry,” and she just smiled.
So that’s the thing. The whole giant party was spectacular, with all tons of jerking off, all sorts of female and male people to watch, to talk with, and who were watching me as we all wanked together. But that momentary little brush against the woman’s hip is the thing that really gets me, even to this day.
By the way, the longest participant set a Guinness world record that day, lasting eight hours and 43 minutes. I was the third longest at 8:20. I don’t know how I lasted that long, but I did, and it was glorious all the way through. I actually quit, letting myself cum with a huge ejaculation, at 8:20 because I was afraid of actually being the ‘winner.’ I didn’t think I would want that publicity.
You’d think I’d be sore, maybe tired the next day, but no, I jerked off a couple of times the next day, just remembering what had happened.