So, suddenly, the door pops open. I thought I had locked it, but I guess not. Geez was I embarassed. There I was without a stitch on, and my dad saw my little pecker in all its firm, sticking-straight-up glory with my hand wrapped around it. Worse, something about being caught caused me to orgasm at that moment, althoough I’m not sure if he noticed that.
He simply said, “If you keep that up, your hand will whither and die like what happened to Professor Dumbledore.” With that, he turned around, closed my door, and tromped down the stairs.
I was shocked. Scared. I don’t know what-all. I jumped under the covers on my bed, and I was half-trembling, and half-crying. What to do? What to do? Should I explain what I was doing to him? Should I invent some sort of excuse? “My penis itched.” No, that wouldn’t work.
Then I started worrying about the hand-withering situation. Was that true? How exactly would that happen? I couldn’t remember ever seeing anyone with withered or missing hands, but then again, I was only 13.
A minute later, there was a knock at the door. What could I do? Have you ever been trapped in a crowd of bullies with nowhere to go? Been caught red-handed doing something stupid by the school principal? It felt like that, but worse. I had to face the music. I said, “Come in.”
He sat down on my bed. “Here it comes…” I thought.
He surprised me by saying, “I’m so sorry. I should have knocked. I want you to know that your hand will not whither. You won’t grow hair in the wrong places, and you won’t go blind. What you were doing is called masturbating, and although society has a stigma on it, everyone secretly does it, even your mom and I. It is not only OK, but you should masturbate – as often as you want. It relieves stress and helps you be a better-adjusted citizen. I’ll always knock from now on. Better yet, I’ll not come by your room unless there’s something really important.”
And with that, he left, tromping down the stairs again.
A few minutes my mom yelled up, “Dinner won’t be ready for an hour.” That’s weird. Why did she say that?