If you haven't seen Chaturbate, you're in for a treat, and it's free, no sign-up required!

Jerking Off is Fantastic


by Spurtz

As we all know, masturbation is a great way to relieve stress. And it feels really good. I got to thinking about all the various places I’ve masturbated and thought it was worth reviewing. Maybe bring back some good memories to my readers.

Unfortunately I really can’t remember my very early days of masturbation. At least not the specifics. My guess is that it mostly took place in bed or on the toilet. The toilet would have been preferable due to no mess to clean up and the ability to lock the door. Locking my bedroom door would have raised questions I wouldn’t want to answer.

But jerking off on the toilet had a downside. I had to push my hard cock down at an unnatural angle to shoot my cum into the bowl. And to me, that detracted somewhat from the orgasm. Cumming always feels much better to me when my cock is pointing up. More on that later.

Jacking off in bed was more satisfying although it required clean-up and if I wasn’t careful, the clean-up could involve more than just wiping semen off of my stomach and chest.

Growing up as a pre-teen we lived on a 70-acre tract and as the only boy in the family and no other kids living close by, I spent a lot of time roaming the woods behind my house by myself. Many of those hikes included taking my cock out and jacking off in the woods and watching my cum spurt onto the ground or nearby bushes.

Like all teens in high school, my dick was hard almost all the time in class. I had a couple of pairs of pants that had a hole in the right pocket. I would manage to get my cockhead through that hole and sit in class with my hand in my pocket and massage the head of my prick. One time I went too far and ended up with a load of cum in my pocket. Fortunately it didn’t bleed through the cloth and I managed to do a half-assed clean-up in the boy’s room.

Lots of masturbation occurred when I was fully dressed. If I found myself alone but worried that I might get caught, I would just unzip my pants, take my dick out, and start pounding away. Depending upon where this was taking place, I had to be conscious of where the cum would go. Sometimes into a wad of Kleenex or toilet paper and sometimes just wherever I could shoot it. The biggest concern was getting it on my clothes where my mother might see it when she washed my clothes. That did happen often enough that I’m sure she did see it but she never said anything.

By the time I was 15, while still jacking off every chance I could find, I had also discovered girls. But my sole interest back then was fucking them. Like an idiot, if I was rebuffed, I never even considered the fallback position of a handjob. Dumbass me. So most of my jackoffs were by my own hand and not that of a partner.

As I got older and had more partners, masturbation by a female partner became a part of my regular sexual activity. Lots of variations on the theme occurred. My second wife and I enjoyed the use of an outdoor hot tub. I would put my dick in front of one of the jets and she would do the same with her clit. When I reached the point of no return, I would stand up and she would jump up and jack me off onto the grass around the hot tub. I did not want to ejaculate into the water for obvious reasons. She would let the water jet finish her off.

Another thing she came up with out of the blue, was she managed to get her tongue in my asshole while jacking me off. This was the first time I begin to suspect that she was learning these tricks from another partner. This was before the internet so she didn’t pick it up there. If I had asked her, she likely would have told me that one of her girlfriends told her about it. Possibly that was true.

Another new trick she sprung on me was lubing up my dick with Vaseline. Despite me being in my 30’s, it had never occurred to me to do that. I figured she might have learned that from whoever was fucking her besides me.

While married to my second wife, we lived on a one acre lot that was heavily landscaped. Tons of yardwork was required which I really enjoyed doing. My favorite dress for yardwork was a t-shirt and some cutoff jeans. With no underwear. The jeans were cut quite short and while working in the yard, my cock would manage to work its way down one leg with the head exposed. That would lead to me rubbing the head and getting a full hard-on. Once I was hard, jerking off was the logical next step. I remember the many times I would get my dick out right in my yard and jack off onto the grass. The heavy landscaping kept me from being seen by any neighbors or passers-by. This literally occurred every time I worked in the yard. There was something taboo about it that made it super sexy.

One girl I dated for a while liked to play with my dick while we were driving in the car. The problem with it was a couple of times she went too far and I couldn’t hold back cumming. At the time you don’t give a shit about where the cum is going to go but afterwards, when there’s jism splattered all over your clothes, it becomes a real problem. She always thought it was hilariously funny for me to be covered in cum.

For a couple of years between marriages I had a fuckbuddy who was great fun. Nothing was taboo and she loved to jack me off. She was a hairdresser and would come to my house to cut my hair. When I knew she was coming I would edge for several hours ahead of time so I was primed by the time she got there. I would strip and sit in a chair in my kitchen and she would cut my hair. When she finished I would jack off while she watched. The goal was to see how far I could shoot. She actually got down with a tape measure and measured off a couple of inches short of five feet. On a second similar try I thought I had exceeded that number but another measurement was basically the same. After I came, we would jump in the shower together and by the time we got out, I was primed for more sex which would entail blowjobs and fucking.

One other time we both sitting naked on my balcony. She jacked me off and I shot over the balcony railings. I was on the third floor. I looked down and the first floor condo had a patio and there on the patio was a table with several blobs of semen splattered on it. Luckily nothing ever came of it.

The two of us were in San Jose Del Cabo at the tip of Baja. We had a late dinner and then walked the totally deserted main street of the town. I had to pee really bad and she encouraged me to do it in a doorway. I said I would if she would hold my cock for me. She did and when I finished peeing she started jerking me off and kept it up until I shot a load onto the sidewalk. This was right in the middle of town but it was midnight and we were pretty much on our own.

Then my third wife loved to play with my dick. But she had a thing about not wasting my cum. I had to finish off either down her throat or in her pussy. That was a bit of a setback for me because I’ve always got off on seeing the semen spurt out of my dick. That’s a sight I dearly love. Plenty of women get off on a good cumshot, but not my wife.

So she would give me a great handjob but once I got close, I had to finish off down her throat. Don’t get me wrong. Those were some fabulous orgasms as she sucked the cum out of my dick.

Later in life between marriage number two and three, I got involved with some M2M sessions. Some mutual jackoffs with another guy. Then I promoted several circle jerks with anywhere from four to six guys total. Lots of great jacking off and cum spurting. Even had my then girlfriend join one of the circle jerks and she jerked off all four of us to spurting orgasms. Great fun. One of the circle jerk guys brought his cute girlfriend to a threesome with me. No fucking but she jerked us both off. I loved it when she took some tissues and wiped my dick and chest clean of cum. Very, very hot. I’ve never really understood my reasoning, but getting all the cum cleaned up by my partner is very erotic to me. Holding my dick and wiping the still engorged dripping head clean of cum is the best. Love it.

In recent years with the advent of the internet and endless porn available, most of my jacking takes place in front of the computer in my home office. My office chair sits on one of those large plastic mats and I can just spurt my load right onto the mat for easy cleanup. Again, cock angle has a lot to do with the degree of pleasure achieved through orgasm. If I remain sitting, I have to push my dick down in order to easily shoot onto the plastic mat. So I usually stand up and just bend over. But the process of going from sitting to standing while whacking away, somehow lessens the intensity of the orgasm. The solution is to remain sitting and just not aim my dick at the floor. Unfortunately, the result of that is cum shooting all over my chest and lap. Sometimes I’m in the nude so it would be reasonably OK to do that but most of the time I’m clothed with just my pants pulled down and the result would be sticky semen all over everything.

It’s been years since I’ve jacked off in bed. Occasionally, I will be sitting out on my back patio and get the urge to cum. So I go ahead and jack off and then shoot onto the adjacent plot of grass. I’ve been single for quite some time now, so I can jack off very frequently with no concern of being interrupted. Although I do think one of the gardening crew might have caught a glimpse of me jacking my dick one time. Years ago, in a different house in a different town, the gardening crew was a man and his wife. She clearly saw me jacking off one time and even after I was aware that she saw me, she continued to watch until I shot my load. I was too close to even think about stopping. Then she turned away and went back to work.

Even at a fairly advanced age, I usually jack off twice a day. Sometimes more

Happy jacking, fellow masturbators.

#####

Feeling Like a Kid Among Adults

I went to Body Electric in Berkeley, California to try out their Thursday night tantric male massage sessions. I had a great time. There were about 40 men there. We all got naked, then broke into random groups of three. Each group surrounded a massage table. We each got a 20-minute massage from the other two guys. The massages started with a perfunctory general massage, but soon turned into genital massage. But this was a ‘tantric’ thing. I didn’t really understand the philosophy. The general idea seemed to be that one can, probably even should, become erect, but not ejaculate. For me, it was difficult to avoid orgasming, but I managed to hold off for the full twenty minutes when it was my turn. I really enjoyed massaging the other two guys as well. I went home horny and charged up. It was an interesting experience. I felt clearer than usual, as if colors were brighter, quiet sounds more noticeable, and smells more interesting.

Of course as soon as I got home, I wanked and ejaculated big-time, but even still, I felt slightly better than average the whole next day.

I returned a week later and participated in another three-way massage. Before starting, I asked the instructor whether it would be OK to forego the general massage portion, and have the guys go right into the genital massage when it was my turn. He said that was fine. I then asked if it was OK to ejaculate. I expected some lecture about how that’s not within the paradigm of what they’re doing there. Instead, he said that’s just fine also. I also asked to go last, because I knew what might happen. If I was first or second, and then I ejaculated, I would loose interested in massaging the other guys.

So, I went last. When it was my turn, I came after about ten minutes, and immediately felt foolish. Worse, I still had ten minutes to go. The guys tried to keep me hard and interested, but frankly, the last ten minutes, while not quite torture, were less than ideal as I went soft, and was quite bothered by the ongoing touch.

Bottom line: I felt like a stupid kid among adults after doing that. I’m slowly learning in life that most people have reasons for what they do. Being a rebel, trying to do things differently, is not always the best way to do things.

What Do You Like?

My flight was delayed. I met a guy in the restaurant bar who was also delayed. We were scheduled on the same plane. It turns out we live in the same city. The minutes turned into hours. He and I got to talking, because what else was there to do?

Our conversation became more intimate. I was divorced. He had been a serial dater, but never married.

The conversation deepened. We were pretty much whispering because although there was quite a bit of noise in the bar, what we were talking about became, well, quite private.

We were talking about masturbation. We were agreeing with each other that it’s a good thing. We went on to agree that if everyone was more accepting of masturbation, it might cure some of the world’s ills. Like overpopulation and unwanted children. Like STDs.

Then he asked a weird question, “What masturbatory thing would you like, but you can’t do it to yourself?”

Normally, I’d never answer a question like that. I’d be shocked. But the way this conversation had been unfolding, it seemed fine to give him my answer:

“I have this fantasy of being tied down, and have someone rub the palm of their hand over the tip of my erect dick. It’s a feeling I can’t stand, and can’t get enough of, all at the same time.”

“Ah, I know the feeling,” he said, adding, “You know, I’ve always been surprised that with a little oil, the feeling is even more intense than with a dry hand. Plus it doesn’t rub the tip of your penis raw.”

I was glad to have some solidarity. Someone who experienced something like me, and was willing to talk about it. Because, face it, sex with women is great, but there can be something missing. Most women are into kissing, dating, and the whole package. Sometimes a guy just wants to get off. Sometimes a guy wants something weird, that most women wouldn’t understand.

“What do you like?”

“I like my balls massaged. Really hard, like rolfing.”

I knew exactly what he was talking about. While I’m not so much a fan of that, I can enjoy a good, firm ball massage.

He went on to say, “But I don’t care for oral, anal, kissing or any of that.”

I was delighted, because that describes me to a tee.

They got the airplane fixed and we boarded, but not before exchanging phone numbers.

A day later he called. “When can we get together?”

I knew exactly what he was talking about.

“Dude, I’m available right now.”

Fifteen minutes later found me in his apartment. We did all the things we discussed. It was even better than I could have imagined. He rubbed the tip of my penis so perfectly that not only did I squirm, yell, and carry on, I even involuntarily let out a little pee a couple of minutes before cumming.

I squeezed his balls so hard I thought they’d pop. He informed me that they are like chicken gizzards. Rubbery. You can’t pop them with your fingertips. You just have to be careful not to injure the back sides where the cords attach. I kind of knew that, but it was reassuring to hear. He was yelling, he was wincing, he was loving it. He kept wanting me to squeeze harder. It kept me very erect doing that to him.

He came without me even touching his penis. Then, he offered the same treatment to me. I had to ask him to be gentler, but found myself very much enjoying the testicle massage. I came a second time, but only because he let go of my scrotum, slowly buried a finger deep in my rectum, and jerked me off with his other hand.

We meet up every month or two. Most of the time we are happy with ourselves or the various ladies we meet. But every now and then, we want something really intense, and we know exactly how to give it to each other.

Sex Play with Encyclopedia

Weird couple has sex play with Encyclopedia

Perhaps my wife and I are a weird couple. We don’t have sex all that often, although I guess with two grown children, we’ve done it often enough.

We like other things. She likes inner labia stretching. She likes me to pull and pull. Oh, I don’t mean hard enough to hurt her. She just likes the feeling of being tugged on. I’ll do it for an hour sometimes. Meanwhile, I’m hard the whole time. Somehow, and I can’t explain why, it’s a real thrill for me to do that for her, almost every time.

Sometimes she’ll orgasm just from that, but generally not. Usually, I finish her off with a good licking while I probe her butt with one finger. She likes just one finger. Years ago, we experimented with more fingers, and got her up to four, and four in her vagina too, but these days, she just likes it simple.

There are two versions of labia pulling. One is dry. I can get a good grip and pull hard. That doesn’t usually last very long. She’ll get all wet. Her labia become slippery, and so my fingers keep slipping off. That’s the second version. I don’t get a good grip, and keep trying. This is what can send her into orgasm on the somewhat rare occasions when she does orgasm from this.

Every now and then, I’ll dry her labia as best I can, and pull and kind of shake really hard. She loves that, but doesn’t orgasm from it. I swear, her labia are somewhat longer than they used to be, but she claims they’ve always been the same length.

That’s her. Perhaps I’m even weirder. It started with gentle testicle massage. A few times, I’ve orgasmed just from that. She’d start by very lightly massaging my scrotum. Then, she’d get a good grip on each testicle, one between each thumb and first two fingers. She’d squeeze until the testicles would slip out of her grasp, popping into another position in my scrotum, like wet bars of soap. It’s fun. I can never tell which testicle will slip out first. She does it on purpose. It’s kind of a guessing game. Which one will pop out?

Yes, it kind of hurts, but I love it. Lately, she’s been squeezing harder. It hurts more, but I’m enjoying it more. I don’t understand it, but who am I to ask questions?

She says the more I yell and squirm, the wetter, and hornier she gets.

I’ve read several times that the gonads are like chicken gizzards, with very rubbery thick outer layers, and pretty much impossible to damage just with finger manipulation.

Sharing that info with her gave her an idea. We have an old set of encyclopedias. She decided she wanted me to lay my testicles on the edge of a table, and she’d pile more and more books on top until I screamed, “Stop!”

The first time we tried it was just last Thursday. She put a book on, and my balls popped up into my scrotum before much pressure was applied even by that first book.

OK, back to the drawing board. She tied a bandana fairly tightly around my scrotum so my balls couldn’t slip away. Then she put the book back on.

I felt the pressure, but it wasn’t in the slightest painful. My penis was rock hard, and she was having fun too, as I could see a drip of liquid escape from her vagina, and her nipples were as erect as my penis in their own way.

She added another book. Still, pressure only, no pain.

With the third book, we had to start over. The angle wasn’t right, and the books were sliding off each other. Finding a small paperback book, she put it under the far edge of the first book so that the books would be level, but almost the full pressure would be squeezing down on my balls. My that felt nice!

She slowly added books, in alphabetical order, of course. By the time we got to F, my balls were starting to hurt with that flaming kind of pain that anyone who has played with ball squeezing is familiar with.

She added G, and the pain wasn’t much worse. Staying like that for a couple of minutes, the pain entirely subsided. Now all I felt was pressure, and it was extremely nice!

My mind was thinking about what it would be like when she got several more books on the pile, and then it happened. Wham! Cum started squirting spasmically out of my penis of its own accord. I was having a wonderful orgasm and there was nothing I could do about it.

She wanted me to hold still after my cum, and add more books, but you know how it is. My attitude shifted, and I was done. I do believe we’re going for at least ten volumes later today when she gets home from work.

Waxing, Erect or Not?

Waxing, erect or not?

I’ve been shaving my crotch almost from as the time I’ve been shaving my face. I like the smooth look. But it’s not really that smooth. My wife tells me it’s like sandpaper down there against her face and her other parts. I therefore started thinking about waxing. I looked it up on YouTube, and to my surprise, you can actually see videos of guys getting their cocks and balls waxed. They guys didn’t seem to be flinching, because that was my concern, that it would hurt. So, I signed up for an appointment at a local spa.

The practitioner was a woman, and pretty good-looking too. She had dark hair and really white skin. She could loose a couple of pounds, but only a couple. She had really nice, ample breasts, which I always appreciate.

I was nervous. Not that it was going to hurt, but just the idea of being seen naked by a strange person, a woman at that. I didn’t even really think about her actually touching my penis and all, but of course, logically, that would happen, right?

The spa had given me a white robe. After saying ‘hi’ and introducing herself, she asked me to remove it in a very matter-of-fact clinical way. Part of me wanted to run out of the room, Another part found the notion of what was about to happen terribly sexy. I do believe I was actually shaking a bit. Of course, I did step out of the robe, trying to act as casual as possible.

She instructed me to lay down, then just like a doctor or an accountant or bricklayer for that matter, she went to work. She wasn’t much of a talker, doing her work quietly.

Don’t let anyone tell you that waxing doesn’t hurt. It hurts like a mother! Why those guys on YouTube didn’t flinch, or even yell out, I have no idea.

I guess I’m proud to say I didn’t get hard. I had to do some pretty intense math in my head a couple of times, but mostly what she was doing just stung too much.

It seemed to take forever. I didn’t actually yell, but I’m sure I jumped pretty good a couple of times. I had pretty well decided I’d never go for waxing again. Then she said, “Finishing touches.”

She reached over and grabbed a pair of tweezers, announcing, “For this procedure, you’ll need to be erect.”

I was floored! Did she actually just say that? She went on to explain that in this procedure she pulls out a few remaining stubborn hairs. It seems to hurt guys less if they are hard. And, she can better see the hairs when a guy is in that condition.

I just laid there like an idiot.

“Go ahead and get hard,” she said.

I couldn’t quite understand that she expected me to lay there and jerk off for her, but that’s exactly what she expected. So, I did. What else could I do? It took me like 30 seconds, and I was hard as a rock.

She went to work, pulling out a half-dozen hairs, holding my erect cock this way and that, pulling on my scrotum various ways. I was just starting to get that wonderful tingle, that gonna-cum feeling, when she announced she was done.

And that was that.

Waitress

I actually have a good many dollars, but I liked eating at a low-end diner. Frankly, I liked the food better. Nothing beats the biscuits and gravy, friend chicken, and sloppy Joes this place makes.

There was this one waitress who was really sending me. I mean, she’s tall, like 5’10” and has really long, sleek legs. She wore short shorts – that’s the kind of diner it is – showing her legs off even more. She must know the effect she had on guys. She always served me with a smile.

I’d been eating there for three years, ever since my divorce. I got married too young and I was an idiot, but that’s another story.

I was probably averaging two meals a day at the diner.

In time, this waitress, Marie, and I started conversing. She found out that I’m an investment banker, working exclusively with my extended family’s own account. I was reluctant to tell her, because when people find out my financial situation, they can get all weird. Like trying to sell me stuff, or wanting me to invest in their crazy business ideas.

Sometimes, when things were slow, she’d sit down opposite me and talk a while. Frank, the owner of the diner, didn’t seem to care.

The day came when I asked her out. Her answer was not what I expected. Maybe I’m too full of myself or something, but I was sure she’d say, “Yes.” Or at least tell me she had a boyfriend.

“I can’t,” she said. She went on to explain that due to our relative financial positions, she’d feel like she’d be tempted to take advantage of me.

I told her I was very relieved to hear her say that. The honesty, you know. Nevertheless, we didn’t go on a date until months later.

It was a nice date, in a fancy restaurant, which made her slightly uncomfortable. Still, we had a brilliant conversation about nothing in particular, and I could see she was enjoying my company. She was brilliant with repartee, which I really liked.

As the place was closing, and we were the last ones there, she told me, “I don’t want you to be disappointed…”

‘Oh, no, here it comes,’ I thought, assuming she was going to give me the ‘like you like a brother, don’t want sex’ speech.

“I’m a nymphomaniac.”

I was at a total loss for words.

She continued, “It’s painful for me to tell you this, but I think you ought to know. I’m not a nympho in the classic sense. I don’t like fucking.”

Now I was confused.

“I just love orgasms. I can have them over and over again. So, here’s the thing, I want a guy who would enjoy playing with my clit and my tits, and my asshole. It could be with your tongue, or your fingers, or with various toys.”

I was still speechless. I have to admit that all I could do in that moment was to stare at her dumbfounded. I did notice that she said ‘your’ pretty much indicating she truly meant me, not some generic idea of a guy.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong…” she said. “I love penis. As much as you do for me, I’d love to do for you, too.”

Finally, my voice returned, although in a whisper. I was frankly shocked that she was willing to confide that to me, and not only that, but in a public restaurant. I was embarrassed that even though the restaurant was now empty, the kitchen staff may have overheard her. I answered, “I can’t believe this. You are a woman after my own heart. I just love tongue, finger and toy stuff. I’ve never been much of a fucker….”

She and I laughed at the literal use of the term.

We got to my place. She looked around, admiring the spaciousness, the real wood, the stonework. It didn’t take long before we were naked and kissing our heads off on my bed. James, my valet came in, took one look, smiled, and quickly left without saying a word. It wasn’t the first time he saw me naked. He’d walked in on me masturbating a number of times. No big deal. But this was the first time with a girl. Marie was momentarily freaked out, then it seemed that him seeing her like that made her twice as horny, if that was even possible.

Soon enough, we got down to business. First she masturbated me for ten solid minutes. She’s a real expert. She got me to the brink of coming like four times.

Then I did her, with my tongue, bringing her tasty, slightly salty pussy to complete, crashing orgasms like ten times. I didn’t even realize a girl could do that so many times in a row.

We established a rhythm that lives with us to this day: It’s approximately ten minutes for her, then ten minutes for me, and we trade back and forth like that for an hour or two.

Oh yes, we have had conventional sex, our two kids are proof enough of that, but that’s not really our thing. Weird, I know, but there’s nothing wrong with it, right?

Personal Experiences with Sounding

Akelo recently published a nice article about urethral sounding. I was going to write a comment on his article but it grew long, so I figured it’s an article in itself.

For those who don’t know, sounding is the idea of sticking an object into your peehole, and potentially deep into your urethra. In some cases, people will penetrate all the way into their bladders. It has also been referred to as “peehole play” and “urethral fucking.” Then there’s catheter play, which is a variation of sounding in which you use actual medical urethral catheters. Here you go:

I agree, sounding is a wonderful feeling. especially deep sounding which gives you something like a ‘gotta pee’ feeling, but much nicer.

I started around age thirteen, before I could even ejaculate. I had a darkroom thermometer with a 6-inch long smooth metal stem. My neighbor, same age as me, didn’t want me to sound him, but he, and occasionally his twin sister, put that thermometer in my little penis several times. Oh, what fun! I really wanted to play with his sister’s peehole, but that never happened.

But as you alluded, it is also risky. I did once give myself a whopping infection. It started in my prostate, which felt weird, itched a bit, and colored my semen red with traces of blood. A day later, the inflammation traveled to my epididymis and balls which swelled up to the size of tangerines and hurt like hell for two weeks. I thought I had been all careful and sterilized everything nicely.

These days, I don’t do much sounding. I’ve decided I can have fantastic orgasms by other means, which I’ve written elsewhere, so why take the risk?

During my urethral play, I did find that one can insert solid sounds all the way into the bladder by bending the penis downward enough to get a mostly straight path. I played with silicone sounds, but one time, a friend was sounding me with a flexible sound. The lube was evidently absorbed and when he pulled the sound out, it kind of stuck to part of my urethra. That caused me to bleed rather profusely and freaked him out. Fortunately, I healed from that in a day or so.

They say fairly large diameter sounds are safer than narrow ones, which I believe can puncture through your urethra and cause a really bad day. One time I found clear tubing in an auto supply store. I bough diameters from 1/8-inch to 1/2-inch. I melted the ends with a flame, and sanded them smooth. I was absolutely surprised to find I could work the 3/8-diameter tube all the way to my prostate, but didn’t manage to get it into my bladder.

Have you ever had the effect where you enter a tube into your bladder and it kind of shudders? My theory is that the opening of the tube against the side of the bladder causes the bladder wall to flex, letting the urine flow, then obstructing it, over and over at perhaps 5 times per second. It’s probably dangerous, but a very interesting feeling.

I’ve also blown air into my bladder, and let it fart out through the urethra. Talk about an interesting feeling! You feel the vibrations deep in you body, around the urethral sphincters and prostate. Toward the end, the air mixes with urine, and you get bubbles or suds coming out of your peehole. However, I’m probably lucky to still be alive. I believe the air could have traveled up to my kidneys, and caused any number of problems from infection to embolism.

Oh, and then there was the time I had gone to a convention. I was in a hotel room all by myself. They provided stationery including a long tapered pen. How fascinating, right? Well, there was no lube. I found a packet of shampoo in the bathroom. I decided that might make nice lube. I pushed the pen about 4 inches into my dick, but the shampoo started to sting, so I took it out, and just jerked off. As I ejaculated, it stung quite badly.

My penis started to really sting after that. It was so bad that it took me twenty minutes to pee, letting out one little painful squirt at a time. The stinging was so bad I couldn’t stand fully upright. It continued for three days.

In conclusion, play with safer techniques. I’m living (thankfully) proof that you can fuck up badly. I have since found that you can experiment with glans rubbing or firm testicle massage, if you want intensity, or you can learn to have continuous dry orgasms spanning an hour or more. Oh my goodness, nothing compares to that! I have written up the techniques here and elsewhere. Enjoy!

Cum Forced Backward

He is around 38 years old, white, medium height, slightly thinner than average, keeps his hair short, shaves most of his light body hair including his genital area, and works in the high-tech industry. He has a girlfriend, and I am married.

His girlfriend seldom ‘puts out’, and my wife says her hormones have shifted, so she’s no longer interested in sexual activities. So, he and I, although we don’t think of ourselves as gay, enjoy playing with each other very much.

We don’t kiss, do blowjobs or any of that. We just like our mutual masturbation.

He likes it rough, and sometimes I do too. We generally edge each other for an hour or so, then one of us goes too far and cums. The other then receives some more attention until he ejaculates also.

I particularly like ball massage, and glans rubbing. That’s when someone, male or female, rubs the palm of their hand over the tip of my dick. Oddly, the sensation is stronger with oil than dry. This glans rubbing business is hard to take. At first it makes one squirm and want to get away, but in a while, it transmutes into a combination of gonna cum or gotta pee feeling that is quite delicious and can keep one on the edge for quite a while.

My friend likes to be fisted, and I’m happy to do that for him from time to time. We have also experimented with sounding. I once worked a length of sterilized aquarium tubing all the way into his bladder. He orgasmed with the tube all the way in, and nothing came out. The ejaculation was blocked by the tubing.

The other night, as I was rubbing his rock-hard penis, and keeping him just below the threshold of cumming, we started talking about that ejaculation that was blocked. He said it was particularly enjoyable and seemed to last longer than the typical orgasm. I have experimented with blocked ejaculations a few times, and found the orgasms did last longer than usual.

I proposed that I might try something I have fantasized about, but would be too chicken to have it done to me. He is more adventurous than I am, and does rather like the rough stuff. I said could bring him to orgasm, and hold it inside by squeezing the tip of his penis. Then, after he came, since he likes various forms of post-orgasm stimulation, I would try to milk him backward. Starting from the tip of his penis which would still be held closed, I’d squeeze farther and farther down his shaft, forcing the sperm backward. I’d continue pressing past his balls, down as far as I could reach to the base of his penis, even reaching my fingers into his asshole if necessary, until the ejaculate was squeezed all the way into his bladder.

He was very enthusiastic about the idea. So, we proceeded. With this exciting new idea, he grew even harder, and came back to the brink of orgasm, where he had already been several times during the past hour. But this time, I kept going, and as his orgasm started, I did pinch the tip of his dick. But it was hard to get a good grip. My fingers wanted to slip off due to the oil we had been using. I tried to get a better grip without losing the grip I had. I didn’t want any sperm to leak out. It seemed like his orgasm was lasting longer than usual, and sure enough, I just couldn’t maintain a good grip between my thumb and the side of my forefinger, and a squirt of semen shot into the air. It was under pressure, so it shot a good three feet!

I quickly got a better grip just below the tip with my other hand, and at that point, I noticed something quite weird: He was still orgasming and the contractions were very, very strong. It was quite obvious. I could feel his dick pulsing strongly in the one hand, and my other hand, which had been pressing lightly on the spot just ahead of his anus felt convulsions there too. I had placed my hand on that perineum area expressly for the purpose of feeling his pulsing orgasm, and was rewarded with some remarkably strong pulses. But not just a few. He kept going and going. I was quite surprised that he was still orgasming.

As I was noticing all that, my grip was slipping again, and another squirt of sperm escaped, and shot well into the air again, landing in sprinkles against his stomach. WTF? He was still orgasming! I tried improving my grip, but didn’t get it right, and yet another squirt slipped out. Finally, I got a good grip, and after what had been probably a full minute, his orgasmic contractions weakened and subsided. Needless to say, we were both quite amazed.

I have had a lot of masturbatory experience in my life, and I’ve never seen anything like this. In all my experiences at the San Francisco Masturbate-A-Thon, SF Jacks, male tantric massages in Berkeley, the Power Exchange, and all sorts of experimentation with friends of both sexes, I have never seen a male orgasm last anywhere near as long as this one did, and have never seen such strong contractions.

I don’t know if it is something specific to my friend, or whether it could be like that for everyone who has an ejaculation blocked in just the right way. I certainly want to find out, and will be experimenting further.

Unfortunately, I had lost a good bit of the sperm I had hoped to trap, but there was still some in his urethra. Perhaps if I had trapped it all, the orgasm would have lasted longer, and been even stronger. I started the process of squeezing it back toward his bladder, and did my best, squeezing down and down. Past his balls. Around the bottom area under his balls, and finally into his asshole. I don’t really know whether I managed to actually move any sperm back or not. And don’t yet know whether I was able to get anything actually into his bladder.

I’m going to ask him next time I see him, probably in a few days. But better than that, I’m pretty sure he’ll want to try again. This time, I’ll make sure to get a better grip, so I can trap all the sperm, then there will be enough to tell for sure whether it is being forced back into his bladder. I might have him do it to me, too.

You might enjoy a similar memoir: Cum Blocking Friend.

Unexpected Bisexual Exposure

I met a woman who I found quite attractive. We were both 26 years old. She and I became friends, but nothing more. When I tried to expand it to a sexual relationship, she told me not only that she was lesbian, but lived with her girlfriend. She was kind about it, and we remained friends.

I told her that I admired her openness about her lesbianism, and mentioned that I am bisexual, although I was quite closeted about it at the time.

One day, she invited me to dinner with her girlfriend. I kind of knew something was brewing, but didn’t quite know what. When I arrived, it was her, her girlfriend, me, and they introduced me to Gary, and attractive nineteen-year-old kid.

After dinner, and a long, enjoyable conversation well into the evening, the two women told us two guys that we were free to stay over, that we could sleep on the floor of their living room. They gave us blankets and pillows. Gary and I bedded down about six feet away from each other on the thick carpet.

Shortly after the two women went upstairs, Gary scooted up next to me and said something like, “So, you want to fool around?”

I didn’t need an engraved invitation. Within a minute, he had put his hand in my underpants, and I responded in kind, finding his already erect penis under the blanket by feel. Within 15 seconds he kind of curled up, and pushed my hand away. I felt wetness on my fingertips.

The poor fellow had ejaculated just that quickly. That was the end of our fooling around that evening. I realized he wouldn’t be in the mood to finish me, and frankly, I wasn’t in the mood to do anything more anyway. We fell asleep.

In the morning, the four of us had a nice breakfast, then the women and I went off to work, while Gary went to his college class.

The four of us never hooked up again, although we’d see each other around town from time to time, wave, smile, and say “Hi!”

The take-away for me was that it’s really easy to hook up with guys – or girls. Somehow, after that, I was much less reluctant to hide my bisexuality, and as a result, I’ve had many good casual and some long-lasting relationships with people of all sexes.

Under the Table

Sex under the dining table

My girlfriend, Niomi, read something in a book, and wanted to try it out.

She read that in ancient Japan, it was not uncommon for a group of men at a dinner to have someone crawling under their low table from man to man, and sucking each guy off. The guys were supposed to be very strong, and not show any change in facial expression when they ejaculated. I’m not quite sure how that worked, because as I understand it, the Japanese used to eat at very low tables.

Anyway, Ni became obsessed with the idea.

One evening we ate dinner together as usual, but she insisted we both be naked. I was all for that. After dessert, she climbed down under the table, and gave me a blowjob. It was easy for her, because she is tiny, easily able to fit under a table.

I was delighted. She was delighted. But, she wasn’t quite satisfied. I knew what she really wanted, but it wouldn’t be easy.

Her birthday was May 6. For two weeks leading up to the day, I started emailing friends and associates – certain ones – ones that would be accepting of the idea, and invited them to this special dinner. It took some doing to get 12 men together. I started inviting lesser and lesser acquaintances, and started to worry that some of them may not ‘get it’ or freak out. But, for Niomi, it had to be done, right?

The evening arrived. I’m sure Niomi figured out what was up when she saw the volume of food I was cooking up, and people started arriving.

As the men were arriving, I set up a second table next to the main dining table so there’d be enough room for everyone. The doorbell rang once more, and there was Tony, but he had brought Michelle, his girlfriend along. I was like “What the fuck?” but didn’t actually say anything. It seemed like having another woman there might mess up our plans, but what could I do?

It took some doing to get the festivities under way. I had turned up the heat to where people might start to be uncomfortable in clothing, but still, there was quite a bit of hesitancy before everyone started removing their clothes.

I was worried that Niomi and Michelle might hang back, but no, they threw off their clothes as well. I have to tell you, Michelle is a real looker. She has that classic slim Asian look, with small breasts and neatly trimmed black hair over her vaginal area. She was almost as short as Niomi, but Ni has classic Nordic looks with big boobs.

So, we all ate dinner naked. That, in itself was a real delight. I know I should have been staring at Niomi’s boobs above the table, but my gaze was drawn to Michelle numerous times. I hope my glancing in her direction wasn’t obvious.

Now, the one thing that I was very curious about was what was under the table. Were these men erect? I was trying to figure out ways to get a look under there, but didn’t manage to do so. I know I was erect about half of the time. I was also a bit worried that some of the other men might see me erect under there, which for some reason would have been terribly embarrassing.

Dessert came and went. Without any announcement, Ni crawled under the table. All the people, including Michelle, I assume, had been informed of the plan.

Niomi went from man to man, while we had a conversation. The ongoing conversation was important, because the men had to be resolute and not show that they were orgasming. The conversation was a bit stilted, a bit artificial at first, but soon, it became sexual in nature and everyone became quite animated.

Ni’s travel from man to man took quite a long time. I guess some guys take longer to cum than others. I was about the sixth one. I’m proud to say I was in mid-sentence when I came in her mouth, and didn’t miss a beat, although maybe my voice went a bit higher for a split-second.

I assumed Ni would just skip over Michelle. But no, even though we couldn’t see what was going on under the table, it was quite clear that Michelle was getting the licking of her life. She was slumped low in the chair, and did let out a quiet little moan as her body stiffened during her orgasm.

So that was our evening. After everyone left, Ni thanked me profusely, and hinted that she has another thing that she wants to do with our friends maybe in a month or so. I keep trying to get her to tell me what she’s thinking, but so far, she’s keeping it a secret.


If you haven't seen Chaturbate, you're in for a treat, and it's free, no sign-up required!