Posted on Leave a comment

Webcam Actress

I’m a confidence coach. This is another story from a client, transcribed pretty much verbatim. My thoughts are in square brackets.

“The reason I came to you is for more confidence, of course. I mean, in daily life. I’m sick of being pushed around just because I’m a petite female – and because I let people have their way, I guess.”

“Is there any place in your life where you are confident?”

“Yes, but not at first, and I’m hesitant to tell you about it.”

[Long silence in which I wait for her to fill the gap]

“Well, you see, I’m what you’d call a webcam performer. I started that because of two things: I needed the money, and I’m kind of a sex freak. I might be what most guys dream of – that I’m pretty much insatiable about sex. Some throw out the word “nymphomaniac.” I’m not quite that, because my urges are under control. I mean, my desire for orgasms doesn’t adversely affect my life. Quite the contrary.

You see, I found out that I could actualy get paid for masturbating online. Being a fairly attractive female [very attractive, with dark hair, an olive complexion, a very skinny short frame and a winning smile], I made a very unconfident start in playing online. At first, I was quite afraid to take off my clothes. I’m embarrassed to say that in my first shows, people paid money to see me totally nude, and I didn’t do it. Of course that’s poor ethics, but I was really scared to death. After a couple of days, though, I got bolder, and was well paid in consequence. Soon, I was having my several daily orgasms in front of a crowd, or for private viewers online, and getting paid for it. What a delight for someone like me!”

“That’s certainly evidence of great confidence!”

“In time, I realized that two lesbian women make more money online. I approached a young, a twenty-three-year-old woman I used to work with, and explained the whole thing over drinks one evening. I didn’t bring it up as if I was inviting her to go online with me, even though that was my plan. At first, she was like, ‘So, what have you been doing lately?’ And I told her that I’m a webcam model. I wasn’t sure she got it, so I came right out and said, ‘I get nude and masturbate for an appreciative, and well-paying audience online.’ As soon as I admitted that, I was prepared for her to throw her drink in my face or something like that.

“To my delight, she came right back with, ‘Wow, I wish I could do that.’ Of course that was the opening I needed, and I invited her to do a show with me and see how it goes. Months have passed, and we work together every day. At first, it was very sexy. Just looking at her was great, and then a few times a day, we’d get right down to business at the end of each show, eating each other out, rubbing each others’ pussies, playing with vibrators, pegging with a strapon, and all that. She initially thought that we shouldn’t actually orgasm online, because somehow that was too real, or something. I assured her that that’s way more than half the fun!

“But now, it has become routine. We both actually have to work a bit to have our orgasms, which just makes the shows all that much better. Oh, Cindy and I aren’t lovers, we just do our thing together online, to our mutual delight, but we do get along fine, and I don’t need confidence with her. But with everyone else in life. Like going shopping, if someone let’s say cuts in front of me in line, I want to be able to say, ‘Hey, get out of here,’ [and she laughs.] Or, like the hairdresser. I want my hair a certain tint, but she does it a bit different. Every damn time. I’ve got to get control of situations like that.

[I ask her whether I can write what she has told me for ProWank. She asks what ProWank is, and I tell her, even writing down the URL on the back of a business card so she can check it out later. She assents. Then the session starts in earnest]

Posted on Leave a comment

Billie Eilish

Billie Eilish is our kind of hero!

In an April, 2024 interview with Rolling Stone, the famous singer she publicly stated some very bold things about her own interest in masturbation including:

“I should have a Ph.D. in masturbation.”

“Self-pleasure is an enormous, enormous part of my life, and a huge, huge help for me.”

“People should be jerking it, man. I can’t stress it enough, as somebody with extreme body issues and dysmorphia that I’ve had my entire life.”

She went on to talk about how she likes to get naked and wank in front of a mirror, “Partly because it’s hot, but it also makes me have such a raw, deep connection to myself and my body, and have a love for my body that I have not really ever had,” she said. “I got to say, looking at yourself in the mirror and thinking ‘I look really good right now’ is so helpful.”

“You can manufacture the situation you’re in to make sure you look good. You can make the light super dim, you can be in a specific outfit or in a specific position that’s more flattering. I have learned that looking at myself and watching myself feel pleasure has been an extreme help in loving myself and accepting myself, and feeling empowered and comfortable.”

What is Billie’s current sexual orientation?

“Dude, I’ve known people that don’t know their sexuality, or feel comfortable with it, until they’re in their forties, fifties, sixties.”

“I’ve been in love with girls for my whole life, but I just didn’t understand — until, last year, I realized I wanted my face in a vagina.”

Posted on Leave a comment

Friend Needed Help With Her Vagina

By Spurtz

I work with an extremely attractive woman. Her name is Jan. We have been close friends for years but never anything more than that because she’s engaged to be married. But we are so close that she confides in me on some of her most private thoughts. I would love to get her in bed but I assumed that would never happen.

A few days ago she approached me and said she had a very personal question to ask me and hoped I wouldn’t be offended. I told her that nothing was off limits between us and to go ahead and ask the question.

She looked at me very shyly and said, “I need to know how long your penis is when it’s erect? I understand if you don’t want to answer but this is very important to me.”

You can imagine how shocked I was when I heard this. It was the very last thing I expected to hear out of her mouth. But because we are such close friends, and I could tell it was important to her, I answered.

“Truth be told, it’s difficult to get an accurate measurement but if I had to pick a number I would say six inches.”

“I was kinda hoping that would be your answer,” she responded. “The reason I wanted to know, and this is very personal, is when I have sex with Ron (her fiancée), it hurts when he bangs his penis against my cervix. Now I know that the typical male penis is 5.5 to 6-inches long. And I would think that the average woman should be able to handle that length without any pain.”

“How big is Ron’s dick?” I asked.

“That’s the problem. I know this sounds odd but I don’t know and I am embarrassed to ask him. But I’m guessing more than six inches.”

“You are ok with asking me what my dick size is but not your fiancée?

“I know. That sounds strange. But here’s an even crazier question. Would you be ok with putting your penis in me so I can see if it hurts? I don’t want to have actual sexual intercourse with you. That would be wrong. I just want you to stick it in me and see if you can touch my cervix. No actual fucking. If I can handle six inches without any pain then I know that I’m normal and the problem is with Ron’s dick being too big.”

I thought to myself: If she actually thinks that I can just stick my cock in her pussy to check the depth and then pull out, she’s living in a dream world. But I told her I would be willing to help her out and give it a try.

She suggested we take a long lunch break and go to her apartment which was only a few blocks away. So that’s what we did.

When we got to her apartment she led me into the bedroom and started taking off her clothes. I will be honest with you, the whole thing was so crazy that I was actually hesitant to get undressed. And then I was concerned that I couldn’t get hard. I figured she wasn’t planning on any foreplay and expected me to get an instant erection without it.

I needn’t have worried. One look at her body with those perfect perky tits and I was fully hard before I even got my pants off. Also knowing I was about to stick my cock in her also sped up my erection.

“Ooooh, you have a really nice looking penis,” she said. “Nicer than Ron’s for sure. Definitely thicker. And you got hard so quick. Let me rub some lube on it to make sure it slides into me since I’m probably pretty dry although looking at that nice dick might get me a bit juicy.”

With that she took hold of my now throbbing prick and coated it liberally with K-Y jelly. Omigod, it felt so good when her hand slid up and down the length of my cock. This was going to be even better than I had hoped. She seemed to spend way more time than necessary rubbing the lube all over the head of my cock. All over the most sensitive areas. I thought maybe she was playing with me but she seemed pretty oblivious to the effect it was having on me.

“OK,” she said, “Why don’t you lie down and let me straddle you. That I way I can control the depth of penetration.”

Before I did as she asked, I wanted to get my lips on one of her luscious nipples. I leaned over cupping one breast in my hand, but she pulled away. “None of that stuff,” she insisted. “This is strictly a fact finding mission.”

I couldn’t believe she could be that detached from what was going on, but she seemed totally serious about the purpose of the penetration. So I lay back with my dick sticking straight up. She climbed on and lowered her vagina down over my raging prick. She held my dick in one hand and spread the lips of her cunt with the other hand. She got the head inserted and then impaled herself onto me. It felt so fucking good I wanted to blow my load right then.

She lowered herself down onto me until she had my penis fully inserted. “I can just feel your dick barely touching my cervix, but no pain. Let me move up and down a few times to see if that makes me hurt.”

With that said she proceeded to fuck my dick with several fairly powerful strokes. “Just the slightest sensation but not really painful. Actually feels really good. But that’s enough. I’ve learned what I needed to know.” And with that she started to lift off of me.

“Whoa, babe. Where do you think you are going? You can’t just stop now and leave me hanging. We have to finish this.” I pulled her back down on me, burying my prick to the hilt. God, it felt so fucking good.

“But I’m engaged,” she protested. It wouldn’t be right for us to fuck.”

“Honey,” I said, “we are way past that point. That ship has sailed. My hard cock is buried deep in your pussy. Any concerns about having sex with another guy is pretty much a waste of effort. I know it feels good so just forget about Ron and let’s have some fun.” All the while I am talking I am pumping my prick in and out of her wet, tight pussy.

“But what about me getting pregnant? I’m on the pill but that’s not 100%. If Ron got me pregnant that’s ok because we are getting married.”

“Don’t sweat it babe. After I had three kids with my former wife I got a vasectomy. So don’t you worry your cute little butt about me dumping a load of semen deep in that tight little vagina.”

By now I had rolled her over onto her back and was giving her a proper fuck in the missionary position. I knew she had given up protesting because she was fucking me right back. She had her legs wrapped around me with her ankles locked behind my back and pulling me tight into her. With every thrust into her snatch, she let out a little scream. Not of pain, but of pleasure.

She threw one arm around my neck and pulled my lips to hers and proceeded to fuck my mouth with her tongue while I was giving it right back. I knew at that point that any concerns about Ron were long forgotten. She had slipped her other arm down between us and was frigging the shit out of her clit with her fingers. She must have been a lot more orgasmic than most of the women I had been with because it was obvious that she was cumming over and over as the little screams got louder and louder.

I wanted the session to go on forever because it felt incredible. She was the best fuck I ever had. But the sensations her tight pussy was giving my penis were not to be denied and way before I wanted it, I felt the cum boiling in my nutsack and then it coursed its way up my shaft and exploded out the slit in the head of my prick. My whole body stiffened as I sped up my thrusts while screaming in ecstasy. I could feel pulse after pulse of jism jetting from my prick. Is there any feeling in the world to match an orgasm? If there is, I’ve never felt it.

Our two bodies slammed together in total ecstasy as my semen continued to fill her up. Finally I had to stop because the sensitivity in my penis was off the Richter scale. We lay together with soft kisses between us.

I was speechless. I looked into her eyes. She said, “I can’t even describe how fantastic that was. No man has ever fucked me like that. You’ve probably ruined it for me with Ron. It was fantastic. Can you fuck me again? I want more.”

Seeing how my dick was still rock hard, I started pumping into her again. I swore I would never get married again but I might need to rethink that decision. I figured Ron was history.

######

Posted on Leave a comment

What A Woman’s Orgasm Feels Like

On Quora, someone asked, “What does it feel like for a woman to have an orgasm?”

What follows is one woman’s answer:

It depends on the type of orgasm! Yes you read that right, women and guys are very different in the orgasm department. Guys just have one type, and typically they are one and done for a while. Meanwhile women have several types of orgasms that affect them differently and they can continue having orgasms over and over without a break.

I basically have 3 types of orgasms.

First is the Clitoral orgasm. This is the MAIN orgasm that most women experience!! It comes from, you guessed it, clitoral stimulation. This can be achieved during masturbation with fingers or any toys or random objects, getting fingered by someone, receiving oral sex, or even during missionary sex if the guy is angled right. Pretty much anything that rubs the clitoris in any way can cause a clitoral orgasm.

For me, this is an easy orgasm to achieve, and usually only takes me minutes or even under a minute. I am a horny person in general and typically always at least a little wet and ready to go so it happens quickly for me. I compare this to a man’s orgasm because it is so easy to achieve lmao. It feels like an intense contraction and spasm in my lower abdomen, pelvis, ass, vagina, and thighs. It’s like every muscle in that region contracts and releases in a pulsation-type motion that typically causes jerking movements in my hips and makes my toes curl. Needless to say, it feels AMAZING!

The downside is my vagina is superrrrr sensitive and almost ticklish after one of these orgasms. I can have orgasms like this over and over again but it’s like a pleasurable form of torture the more that I orgasm repeatedly this way. Also after orgasming once it typically makes the next orgasm come more easily. This produces a lot of wetness from my vagina, clear sticky sweet-tasting fluid. It is my most common orgasm that I have at least a couple of times daily.

Second is the vaginal orgasm. This happens less often than the clitoral orgasm because it is a bit harder to achieve and requires internal stimulation as opposed to external, as with the clitoral orgasm. This is mainly achieved through vaginal penetration, either by masturbation using fingers or inserting toys and objects, or through vaginal sex. I also often achieve this type of orgasm through anal sex and anal masturbation, likely because of the positioning and how the dick or toy thrusts the anal canal toward the vaginal canal.

Basically any type of vaginal or anal penetration can bring me to this type of orgasm. Like I said it is a little tougher to achieve because it takes a little longer than clitoral orgasms and the more stimulation the better the orgasm. Once achieved it makes each subsequent orgasm easier to achieve. This is felt mainly in the pelvic region, mostly the vagina. It is a very warm sensation with a slow and long contraction. It is like a very long and slow orgasm that can last for minutes if the stimulation continues. It’s a very relaxing type of orgasm that can make sex almost hypnotic when it occurs. This type of orgasm makes me wanna spread my legs eagle and just lay there and take whatever he has to throw at me. It makes sex incredibly pleasurable. It usually produces a different type of wetness from my vagina, a much thicker and creamier substance that tastes much stronger than the normal wetness and almost resembles the appearance of male cum.

Finally is the squirting orgasm. This is the most rare, but quite easy to obtain in you know what you’re doing. It is by far the most pleasurable so it’s well worth it. The key is being really turned on. Luckily for me being horny is my default so I find this orgasm easy to obtain in most instances. This is achieved similarly to the vaginal orgasm because it needs stimulation on the G-spot which is in the vagina. So I have been able to squirt by both vaginal and anal stimulation likely because of the positioning same as the vaginal orgasm. So any type of vaginal or anal penetration either by myself or someone else can get the job done, the key is stimulating that particular spot.

For me, I can achieve this orgasm in a couple of minutes, and most guys that try can do the same. Even guys who don’t try typically end up making me squirt because of how sensitive I am. The feeling of this type of orgasm resembles a clitoral orgasm, but on steroids!

The clitoral orgasm is more localized to that pelvic area, while the squirting orgasm is a full-body orgasm. Literally every part of my body from my head to my toes starts to shake uncontrollably, convulse, contract and relax rhythmically. It is soo strong that I lose the ability to control my own bodily functions and clear liquid comes pouring or shooting right out of my vagina from my urethra. All the while there is an incredible warmth and pleasure directly in the vagina. This normally lasts for up to 10–15 seconds but can linger for minutes. Also I find that once I squirt the first time it becomes easier for me to squirt and I do it more frequently. This is the most amazing orgasm a woman can experience and I try to at least give myself one daily!

So hopefully you have a better understanding of the female orgasms after reading this!

Posted on 1 Comment

Benefits of Wanking

benefits of masturbation

In the not so distant past, masturbation was frowned upon. People are just now waking up to its many benefits. We still have a long way to go to bring about a healthier society. As your reward for promoting masturbation and ProWank.com to your friends, family, and coworkers, you’ll find lots of goodies in this website, including tips, techniques, videos, great erotic short stories, true memoirs, complete online ebooks, and a complete A to Z encyclopedia of sex. It’s all free and complete. Enjoy!

Benefits of Wanking

  • Health: According to recent research, it boosts the immune system, balances hormones, and reduces blood pressure. People who jerk off at least once a week have thirty percent fewer heart attacks, half as many strokes, and are forty percent less likely to come down with diabetes than everyone else.
  • Slows aging: Those who fap regularly are more likely to live past eighty years old.
  • Clears the mind: Masturbation can be even better than meditation for breaking out of thought loops, eliminating worry, understanding things in new ways, overcoming mental blocks, and coming up with creative solutions.
  • Saves lives: STDs can be deadly. Masturbation by yourself or with friends is the safest form of sex.
  • Population control: With almost 8 billion inhabitants on this small planet, wouldn’t it be great if all the children being born were truly wanted?
  • You can have a good time by yourself at home, reducing or eliminating loneliness and depression.
  • Eliminates horniness: When you live without sexual frustration, you make better choices. Stop telling off-color jokes at the wrong times. Avoid bothering people for sex. Quit settling for partners who are not right for you, only to get sexual satisfaction.
  • Reduces pain: Dopamine and oxytocin, feel-good neurochemicals, are released. Wanking can be particularly effective for mild muscle aches, nausea, and headaches. For instance, it is has been known to reduce arthritis pain for 2 to 8 hours after a masturbation session. Jacking or jilling can also reduce the recovery time after sports over-exertion.
  • Helps with psychological balance: Reduce stress, increase confidence, calm runaway emotions.
  • Eliminates bad habits: Replace your addictions or bad habits with masturbation.
  • Helps with weight management: It’s not practical to eat while masturbating, plus the hormones released help regulate hunger.
  • This form of recreation requires no organization, no travel, no certification, no training, no special equipment, no investment and produces very little pollution.
  • It is the great equalizer. You can be anyone young or old, rich or poor, pretty or not, and you can still have wonderful solosex, just like everyone else.
  • Saves money: Masturbation costs nothing, compared to dating, which requires the cost of dinner, transportation, entertainment, and often much more.
  • Saves time: You might think that masturbation takes up valuable time, but it is far less time than driving to meet someone, and all the time that dating requires.
  • For men: Last longer in sex, eliminate premature orgasm, possibly reduce the risk of prostate cancer. Reduces likelihood of erectile dysfunction and incontinence. Reduces or eliminates messy wet dreams.
  • For women: Improve your self body image. Smooth out the monthly cycle. Learn what you like and don’t like sexually.
  • For students: Be more effective in studying. The dopamine released has a positive effect on the learning centers of the brain. Jerking off to relieve horniness will allow you to focus better.
  • For everyone: It’s so much fun!

This is a Quora post in reference to someone who said that based on his personality, it was fairly certain that Adolf Hitler did not masturbate:

“LOL, I wouldn’t know for sure, having no idea how much the dude masturbated or had sex, but I do know that afterwards, I am much calmer and more peaceful, and I’ve known several people who didn’t masturbate, at least temporarily, and they were stressed, tense, irritable, critical, over-sensitive, hyperaware of sexual matters and stimuli, complains all the time, sometimes aggressive, and moody. I know how I was when I didn’t masturbate or have sex for long periods of time.

“I’m not sure it would have made a difference, as reportedly he did what he did deliberately to incite violence and hatred and conflict between the races. And people allow themselves to be manipulated by clowns like this, and the media that tells them what to think and feel.”

Posted on 1 Comment

Topless in Buffalo

I have always felt that it is unfair that men can go topless on a hot summer day, and women can’t. How weird is that? Well, I’m a woman, and I always wanted to know what it feels like to go topless, to feel the wind on your chest, to get an all-over tan. And, I have a distinct advantage: Small boobs. I’m not quite flat-chested, but close. And, that’s never bothered me, and certainly hasn’t hurt my sex life. Several guys and girls I have been with say they find my little pancakes with a mint on top absolutely attractive. OK, I’ll go with that:) My current girlfriend has large, pendulous breasts, and I love that. Go figure.

Topless with small breasts (tiny tits) in Buffalo, New York

Over weeks, months really, I hatched a plan. I patiently waited until today, the first hot summer day in Buffalo, New York, 87 miles from where I live. I had cut my somewhat unruly hair short two weeks ago. It was short for a girl, but would be considered just a bit longer than typical for a guy. In fact, my hair kind of looked all crazy, like Einstein, but not gray. Being part-Asian, my hair is black.

Yesterday, I bought some men’s shorts, and a very masculine T-shirt with a beer commercial on front. I got some men’s shoes, and some of those athletic socks they wear, which us women seldom wear. Finally, I needed a new bike helmet. Pink would be a dead give-away, so I found a black one at a thrift store for $4.

I changed into my new clothes, leaving my ridiculous bra off. I call it ridiculous because I’ve never needed it. My small breasts do not sag. I just wear a bra because that’s what we girls do. But not today.

I left the hotel room dressed as a guy, unloaded my bike, checked the air pressure in the tires, and got on. I started to ride through the neighborhood, and soon I was downtown. It was hot, and I was already sweating pretty well. So, being the guy that I was today, I took off my T-shirt and tucked it into my handlebar pack. No one looked up. After all, I really looked like a guy, maybe just a guy who is kind of pudgy on top. The cars just kept passing by. The pedestrians were all business-as-usual. But was I nervous? Hell yes!

I started to ride, and for the first time in my adult life, I felt the wind whistling gently past my chest, my whole chest, as I rode along. I felt the sun beating down on my back. It all felt so beautiful, my eyes teared up. But, guys don’t cry, so I held it back, and kept riding through temporarily bleary eyes.

All in all, I rode five miles through the streets of downtown Buffalo. I kept looking for recognition. Oh, I knew no one would recognize me. Plus, just to be sure, I was wearing my helmet and sunglasses. That’s why I came to a place 87 miles away. But I was waiting for someone to say, “Hey, she’s a girl, and she’s topless!” It never happened. Everyone mistook me for a guy.

I figured my back had received as much sun as was good, so it was time to go back to the hotel room. Now I can’t explain why that experiment made me so horny. Perhaps it was feeling the fresh air on my body. Perhaps it was being almost naked in public. But the minute I got in the door, I threw off my helmet, shoes, socks and shorts, and my hands were all over my nipples and clit. I orgasmed in seconds, and then several more times during the next half hour.

I don’t know if I’ll ever do the experiment again, but maybe. Maybe I’ll even go a step further – totally nude. I might like to try a nude beach someday. For that, I won’t have to disguise myself at all. Hmmm. Interesting.

I want my hair to grow back. The whole thing feels kind of embarrassing now, and my hair is a reminder. When people ask about my short hair, I won’t tell them about the experiment. Instead, I’ll just say I wanted to try a low-maintenance cut. This evening, my girlfriend wanted to know where I was today. When reluctantly I told her what I had done, she started licking my vagina with remarkable vigor and I came several times.

Posted on Leave a comment

Girl’s Guide to Masturbation

This post has been written because you may not have complete and accurate information on sex and masturbation. I hope you find it informative and interesting.

We know that young people have access to all sorts of pornography on the Internet, and hope this page will help combat some of the incredible misinformation out there, keeping you healthier and safer.

Many still find this subject taboo, something that can’t be spoken or written about, but as you will see, even though you may have hidden yourself under the covers to read this article, it is a subject that is very important to talk about and one that we should believe should be openly discussed.

It’s OK if you don’t already know everything on this topic. Almost everyone your age is in the same boat. Even your parents, wise and kind though they may be, don’t know everything.

Masturbation is as common among women as it is among men, but it remains a subject that most women still will not discuss. We are going to discuss this topic in depth using detailed images and language which some of you may not be used to seeing or reading.

Let’s start with a fun little anatomy lesson. Grab a mirror and maybe a flashlight and take a good look between your legs. Don’t be scared. You are not doing anything wrong and you should not feel dirty. The slotted area between your legs is your vagina, sometimes also called ‘pussy,’ ‘VJJ,’ or ‘cunt.’ Note that ‘cunt’ is considered by many people as a bad swear word. Your vagina is a fascinating structure with some interesting parts.


Girl's guide to masturbation and sex, illustrated vagina

Your exploration should be done at your own pace, you may never have touched this area before other than when wiping or showering. You may find that you get some feelings during your exploration that you are not used to, some might be pleasurable, others less so.

You may have an amount of hair around your vagina. It is as normal to have a lot of hair than no hair or little hair. Some girls also choose to shave their vaginas.

Using your fingers, slowly start to investigate your vagina, you only need your fingers for this.

Situated at the top of the vagina, between the outer labia (‘labia majora’), also known as the vulva, and the inner labia (also known as ‘labia minora’), is your clitoris, often simply called the ‘clit.’ On some girls the clitoris is small and hard to find, while on others it is big and easy to notice. The clitoris is the most sensitive part, containing literally thousands of nerve endings. It may be covered by a fold of skin called the clitoral hood. You should be able to gently push the clitoral hood up or to one side and reveal the clitoris. You may find the clitoris is initially too sensitive to touch or sends unusual sensations through your body.

The clitoris is the only organ in your body that has the sole purpose of providing pleasure. We’ll talk more about that later.

If you spread your inner labia apart, and look further down, you may see a small opening, called the urethral opening or ‘meatus.’ The urethra is a tube that runs from the meatus to your bladder, which is a balloon in your body that holds urine (pee).

An interesting experiment you might enjoy is to sit on the edge of your bathtub, and pee a little bit while holding a mirror to watch it happen.

Below the urethra, is a larger opening, which may not be easy to see unless you spread your inner labia really wide. It may seem like an infinitely deep tunnel. That opening may be partially covered by a thin layer of skin called the hymen. Many girls your age no longer have hymens. That little covering often breaks open naturally during an athletic activity such as biking, horse riding, gymnastics, or masturbation with an object or your fingers. If it remains intact, the first time you have sex, the hymen may break then. Some girls notice a bit of pain, and maybe even a little blood when their hymen is broken, but many never even realized it happened.

Girl's Guide to Masturbation - various shapes of hymen in girls

This large opening, the vaginal canal, is where babies come out. Tiny though it is, the tissues around the opening are very flexible. A few inches inside the vaginal canal is the cervix, sometimes known as the ‘os’ which is a tight opening that leads to your uterus.

Girl's Guide to Masturbation - Vagina held open with speculum to show cervix
Vagina held open with a medical tool called a speculum to show cervix

The uterus is where babies are formed. Beyond the uterus are a couple of tubes, the Fallopian tubes, that lead to ovaries. The ovaries are small white glands that, once you are old enough, send out one microscopic egg once every 28 days. Interestingly, each ovary secretes one egg every 56 days, alternating with the other ovary. All the eggs you will ever deliver, well under 1,000, are already stored in you the day you are born.

Girl's Guide to Masturbation - Fallopian tubes

If you are already old enough, then you know about periods, also called menstruation. That happens approximately every 28 days. The actual timing may vary, especially in girls who have recently started menstruating. It’s a system to expel unused eggs, and keep your system clean by washing it with a bit of blood. The timing of periods can vary, as well as how much blood is released. Some girls have minor cramping at that time of the month. If you are one of the rare girls in which the blood loss or cramping is severe, you ought to check with a doctor. If you are already menstruating, even with some inconvenience and possible pain, you can be very proud. You have become a woman.

There are many things that affect how often you menstruate including your stress levels, how much you are eating, your general mood.

You might find you feel more playful and want to explore about the time of ovulation. You might not feel that you want to masturbate during your menstrual cycle, but while the orgasms might take longer, they will be better.

You may already know that boys are different. Instead of vagina, they have testicles and a penis. The penis can fill with blood to make it larger and stiff. From the same tube in the boy’s penis that carries urine, the boy can squirt out a small amount of liquid called semen, also known as ‘cum,’ ‘spunk,’ or ‘jizz,’ that contain millions of microscopic cells called sperm.


Girl's Guide To Masturbation - Male Anatomy
Male sexual organs

If a boy squirts sperm (semen) into your vagina, and even if just one of them meets up with an egg, a baby may start to form. You will be pregnant. Since the sperm and eggs are microscopic, and since us humans are so perfectly designed to create babies, it is a very good idea to avoid getting any semen in your vagina unless you are ready to become a mother.

The idea of having a baby is very romantic, but the reality is 18 years of hard labor. Not only that, but in a world with over 8 billion people, maybe adding another human into the mix isn’t such a great idea right now.

Basically, masturbation, and other things you can do besides intercourse (also known as ‘coitus,’ ‘sexual congress,’ ‘balling,’ ‘banging’ or ‘fucking’), makes a lot more sense, and turns out to be just as enjoyable.

When you looked at your vagina with a mirror, what you saw may be different than the picture above. Just like our faces are all different, so are vaginas. Take a look:

Girl's guide to sex and masturbation, different types of vaginas

The shape of your body, whether or not you have breasts and body hair, depend on your age, and genetics.

In addition to your height, weight, and color, the size of your vagina, inner labia, clitoris can vary. Some women have pigmented inner labia, and some do not. The same is true for nipples. Some are large, some are small, some are light, some are dark.

Most men and women have at least some body dysmorphia. That’s where you don’t think you look good. This can be nearly crippling for many people. Interestingly, some of the best looking people think they look terrible. Chances are you are much more beautiful than you realize.

Girl's Guide to Masturbation - stages of development

Masturbation, what does it mean?

Masturbation, also known as wanking, fapping, solo sex, jerking off, jilling, and about a thousand other names, is the practice of stimulating your body in a way that’s different than any other ways you may be familiar with. It can be satisfying like eating a good meal, getting enough sleep, winning a game, or soothing an itch. However, this satisfaction is most often felt in your genitals, meaning your vagina, breasts, or anus. Masturbation usually results in an orgasm. It doesn’t have to end in an orgasm, and it doesn’t have to be genital. I read about one woman who did have orgasms when her boyfriend rubbed the area between her shoulders on her upper back. Many people enjoy masturbation without orgasming.

It is very possible you don’t know what an orgasm is. Some women never experience an orgasm. A few have their first orgasms past the age of 40. On the other end of the spectrum, you’re never too young to have an orgasm.

So what is it? An orgasm is an involuntary reaction to a thought or physical stimulation. The usual orgasm starts with a chill building up in your body. Typically, this chill will be in your vagina or lower belly, but could be anywhere, even the top of your head. It is a rather delicious chill, and your body lets you know it wants more. Within a minute, the chill builds into something much more. Some have likened it to a sneeze, except much more pleasurable. Your muscles may tighten, you may start to shake uncontrollably, your conscious brain may go momentarily offline, you may loose bladder control, and you may feel contractions in your vagina. The orgasm usually lasts only a few seconds, although some women will have two or more orgasms in a row. After the orgasm, you may feel sexually satisfied, you may be sleepy or be very relaxed. Some women even cry after an orgasm. That crying isn’t from sadness. It’s not necessarily joy, either. It’s more of a release.

Every other form of emotional release is also possible, grunting, moaning, whimpering, shouting, or even screaming.

Which parts of my body do I use to masturbate?

Masturbation is stimulating parts of your body, usually with the intention of giving yourself an orgasm. The main part for most women is the vagina, and may be specifically the clitoris, that little button at the top of the vagina between your inner labia. However, masturbation can include stimulating the nipples, the anus, the mouth, even the legs, hands, belly, and other body parts.

Sex

What are the differences between masturbation and sex?

The most obvious difference is masturbation is something you do yourself. ‘Sex’ when used to mean ‘sexual activity’ involves at least one other person. Sex usually refers to intercourse, which is the placing of the male penis in the female vagina. Variations include anal intercourse, oral sex, frotting, hugging, sensual massaging, and fingering, all of which are covered elsewhere in this website.

An in between activity is mutual masturbation, in which two or more people masturbate each other. Some people take the word ‘sex’ to mean only ‘intercourse.’ Others use sex to indicate any activity from solo masturbation, or kissing to intercourse.

Girl's Guide to Masturbation, Female Mutual Masturbation
Female mutual masturbation

There are some dangers in any form of sexual activity involving more than one person. Let’s look at a few possible complications. Then you can decide if you might rather just masturbate:

You can become pregnant. You may be surprised at how young an age this can happen. For most girls, they are not fertile until at least age eleven. But some have become pregnant as early as five years old. Are you equipped to manage a baby?

You can become so sick that you can’t get out of bed, or visit any friends, and then you die. I know that sounds dire. but guess what? It is! I’m not saying that everyone who has sex is going to die, but is it a risk you really want to take for just a few minutes of pleasure?

The deadly sicknesses include syphilis, monkeypox, Covid-19, and AIDS. Sure, many people recover from these diseases, but some do not.

There are also milder diseases, but they can hound you for the rest of your life. Once you catch herpes, which usually manifests as blisters around your mouth or genitals, it can come back again and again. But worse, you can never kiss anyone ever again, in case you’d give them herpes.

Then there are the social issues. You might find a sexual mate who takes advantage of you. That can range from painful teasing, to physical injury. You might develop a reputation that you can never live down. For instance, imagine that your boyfriend takes a picture of you in a suggestive pose with no clothes on. All is good until you break up. He decides to post your picture on the Internet. Guess what? You can never remove a picture posted by someone else. It can spread like wildfire. In time, your friends, classmates, aunts, uncles, teachers, and even your parents may see the picture.

Many young people have this belief that bad things happen to other people, not them. That works fine, until it doesn’t.

So, we heartily recommend being satisfied with masturbation. Surprisingly, you can have a better time with masturbation than with intercourse. You get to masturbate where you want, when you want, and the way you want, rather than having to compromise all those decisions with someone else.

You may be surprised to discover that masturbation has many benefits, many of which are listed on the home page. Basically, you can feel better about yourself and your situations, can improve your physical health, and even study better.

When should I start masturbating?

Start when you feel like it. Some girls have masturbated since such an early age they can’t remember when they started. Three-year-old girls have been known to masturbate. Others don’t start until age 40. Some never did start. It’s all good.

When will I stop masturbating?

I once masturbated with an eighty-year-old woman at the annual Masturbate-A-Thon in San Francisco. I know a fellow who is 88 years old and still masturbates almost daily. There is no age limit.

Who else masturbates?

Practically everyone of all ages masturbates. You might be surprised to find out that it’s very likely that your teachers, your minister, your aunts, uncles, even your parents wank. We’re all wankers. Oh, sure, many will never admit it, but they still do it. You see, there’s a weirdness in our society. People are very reluctant to talk about masturbation. Fortunately, this attitude is shifting, but you’ll still find it is so strong in many people that they will claim they don’t masturbate, even though they do.

It’s kind of like the opposite of smoking cigarettes in the 1950s. People pretty well knew it was bad for health, but no one would talk about it, and people had to smoke because all their friends did it.

Why have I suddenly started to become interested in masturbating?

Sudden interest in masturbation is common. It may begin when your hormones shift as you grow, it may be because of a natural time of sexual awakening, or awareness in social circles. If you friends start talking about sex or masturbation, it makes sense that it might become interesting to you also.

What about negative influences?

“My parents have told me not to touch myself.”

This is wrong, they should have told you that it is fine to touch yourself, but that you should do it in the privacy of your bedroom.

“I’ve been told that genitals are dirty.”

Well, maybe they are, especially the anal area, but you can keep yourself clean, and no harm comes from touching that area of your body. As to ‘dirty’ in terms of ‘naughty,’ that too, comes from old-fashioned beliefs.

“My parents have told me not to masturbate.”

They might be from a generation, religious or conservative background in which masturbation was discouraged, but you can be sure they used to masturbate and probably still do. Things may be mostly different than in your parents’ era, so if they are old-fashioned, it is a good idea to keep your masturbation private. There’s no sense in stirring up a hornet’s nest. On the other hand, honesty is generally the best policy. If you feel you can open a discussion about masturbation with your parents, you may find that they can be more supportive than you thought.
.
“The society I live in says that you should not masturbate so I am scared to do it. I keep being told at church that it is sinful.”

This is rapidly becoming old-fashioned. Even some church leaders are now acknowledging that masturbation is not only OK, but has benefits.

“I’m worried about what my parents or siblings will think if they know I am masturbating.”

They know that you are of an age where you probably will masturbate. Chances are, they won’t say anything about it, or if they do, they’ll approach it in good humor, maybe even jokingly.

“I am scared to masturbate.”

Just like driving a car, or doing anything new, masturbating for the first time can be scary.

“I am scared of my siblings and what they will think about be masturbating.”

If they are older than you, they are probably more worried about you discovering their interest in masturbation, than them discovering you.

“What if I get caught masturbating?”

First, make an effort to avoid being caught. For most people, masturbation is a private activity. If you are caught, the results will depend on who catches you. Scared, conservative parents may have an improper negative reaction. It’s the way they were brought up. Hopefully, you’ll be able to excuse their behavior. Others will encourage you. Some will offer guidance or instruction. A very common reaction is to install a lock on your bedroom door, wink, and say something like, “You’re old enough now, you deserve your private time.”

As with most everything in life, clear communication is best. It is OK to admit to most parents, siblings, and other family members that you enjoy masturbation. If they are enlightened, they’ll probably admit that they do also.

So, I have decided I want to masturbate, what now?

Make sure you have enough time and privacy. Ask your family not to barge into your room, or bother you. If you and your family are good at communication, you can actually say something like, “I’m going to masturbate, so please don’t disturb me for a while.”

Never lock your door. Locking a bedroom door is dangerous for medical and fire reasons. You might enjoy setting the lighting the way you’d like, and put on some nice music.

Have a nice meal beforehand, and go to the bathroom if you feel the need.

You might like to do this after a bath or shower, so you are clean, refreshed, your hands are warm, and perhaps you are already naked. You can masturbate while clothed or nude. Most people prefer nude if there is time enough to undress and dress. Some, will simply lower their pants, or remove a skirt, and lower their underwear.

I like to recommend starting with a full body examination and adoring love of yourself. It doesn’t matter if you could add or lose some weight, whether you are tall or short, or if your hair isn’t right. This is the time to absolutely love who you are. You might like to admire yourself in a full-length mirror. Notice your breasts, your butt, all the curves of your body. It is not only OK to touch yourself, but can be great. Run your hands over your sides, your breasts, between your legs, over your butt, and just enjoy the sensations.

You may not need any further instruction at all. You may instinctively run your hands between your legs several times. You may automatically discover that special button, your clitoris, and give it attention. Or, maybe not.

You might get a kick out of very lightly running your fingers over your nipples. Then, maybe very lightly, touch your vaginal area. If it is covered with hair, touch it so lightly that you’re only gently brushing the hairs. If there is no hair, see how very lightly you can touch yourself. You may find that your body wants to open naturally, to let your fingers start touching your inner labia, and then your clitoris more and more.

When ever you give yourself self-love and massage, use the strokes that are for you. Deep, long, short, firm, light or delicate. Remember that this is your body, your feelings, do what feels good for you and not someone else.

Use on finger to make snail trails around your body, all over, find out what feels good. Use the underside of your finger, or introduce a nail to lightly scrape over your skin.

Don’t be surprised if you find the area becoming wet and slippery. Some women secrete a sort of oil naturally, that was created to help a penis slip easily into the vagina. Some women do not have this effect. You might want to try some olive or coconut oil, or a safe body lotion to lubricate the area.

In case you are one of the people who get particularly wet, you may want to have a towel under your body.

If you haven’t been directed by the feelings in your body what to do, then may I suggest you start running one or two fingers over your clitoris repeatedly. You might like to try a circular motion on your clit with one or two fingers. Be patient. Nothing may happen. That’s OK, you can just enjoy whatever happens.

Fantasy is a major component in most masturbation. It is OK to fantasize about any safe activity with any person. It may not be at all appropriate to act on those fantasies, but it is totally OK to let your mind wander to sexy situations.

There are some people that will use porn, but thoughts and feelings from your own body are always so much better, real and felt within you.

Do your fantasies concern you? For instance, you may find yourself thinking about a girl or woman. Interest in women is called ‘lesbianism,’ ‘homosexuality,’ or ‘gay.’

As it turns out, everyone is on a bisexual spectrum. That means that no one is 100% straight (interested only in men), or gay (interested only in women). Oh, some people are very close to one end of the spectrum or another, and it’s all fine. Our positions on that spectrum can also vary over time.

As you continue to rub your clit and fantasize, you may have very delicious feelings. These are often described as chills that can happen anywhere in your body from head to toes, but are usually centered in the lower belly or genital region. You may feel like you are going to pee. Usually, that doesn’t happen.

Now, some women will quit at this point. The feelings scare them, so they stop the stimulation. That’s a shame. They are missing out on something very nice. We urge you to continue and find out what happens. Let the feeling build. Suddenly, the chill may become one of the best feelings you’ve ever had in your life. At the same time, you may feel rhythmic contractions in your vagina or anal area. Just let it happen and enjoy. Congratulations, you’ve had your first orgasm!

Wasn’t as great as you expected? Sometimes that happens with your first few orgasms. As you become more relaxed, more used to the situation, they can build into something truly fantastic.

Some women will want to stop very soon after orgasming. Others want do do it repeatedly, having several orgasms in a row. There’s no telling which style is yours, and it really doesn’t matter.

Now that you are a wanker (masturbater), you might want to explore some variations.

Perhaps the most common variation is to insert your fingers or an object into your vagina. Whatever you use should be smooth and clean. Use some slippery cream or oil if you need additional lubrication.

Remember that you do not need to penetrate your vagina at all. Many girls get as much pleasure from the outside and do not need anything to go inside at all.

At first, don’t go in too deep, or use something too big around. There’s lots of time for careful exploration of the limits later. Avoid anything that’s dangerous such as wood that can splinter, light bulbs that can shatter, and so on. Avoid chemicals such as toothpaste, soap, or anything that can’t be removed. More than one woman has been taken to the emergency room because they put something in their vagina that they couldn’t get out.

Another very interesting erogenous place can be your anus. Erogenous means a place that if touched can feel sexual. You might start with a very light touch or stroking of your anal area with your fingertips. You might prefer to use rubber gloves if you are averse to the possibility of getting some poop on your fingers.

You can also insert things into the anus. You’ll want to clean everything you use afterward. The bacteria that live around the anus can set off an infection in the vaginal area. It’s uncommon, but this can range from an annoying itch, or an undesirable odor, to a serious sickness. So, keep things clean. As with the vagina, whatever you use, if not your fingers, should be small and smooth. Some women have been known to have orgasms just from anal stimulation.

Whether you are putting something into your vagina or anus, you may find it is very tight. This can happen to many women. The muscles can contract really hard. There is no need to force anything. Use lots of lube and start with something thin. You don’t want something so thin or pointy that it could injure you, of course. Take your time. Relax. Breathe deep. If you can’t get it in today, you have all the rest of your life to work on it.

If you feel you would like a sex toy, but are unable to get one due to concerns with your parents or others, then walk around the local supermarket with and open mind and see what you can find. Toilet roll stand? Hairbrush? Toothbrush? Think always what you are trying to do, then let the mind wander.

Can I masturbate with others?

Yes, you can, but there are some things you might like to know:

Masturbating by yourself is far and away the safest form of sex.

In this era of Covid-19, simply breathing near someone else can be dangerous. Plus, you could catch a cold or the flu without even touching anyone.


Covid-19

If you touch someone, the danger increases. You can end up with jock itch, crabs (little insects that live in body hair and are hard to get rid of), or monkeypox.

If you kiss, or do anything involving contact with the genitals, the danger increases yet again, including rather horrible skin diseases, and herpes, a life-long annoyance.

Finally, if you mix bodily fluids, or have any sort of sexual penetration, the risk is even higher. You could catch AIDS. Contrary to popular belief, AIDS is not just something that happens among gay men. That disease can be contracted by men or women and from men or women.

So, if you can be satisfied with solo masturbation, that’s your best bet. Unlike partner sex, you can masturbate when, where and how you want. You can do it absolutely your way, with no need to compromise.

However, if you do want to engage in mutual masturbation, you’re still safer than engaging in other sexual activities.

Mutual masturbation takes many forms, but the most common are:

0. Sharing and comparing. This is not masturbation at all, but you and your friends may like to look at each other naked, noticing breast and nipple size, vaginal shape, ass shape, and the amount of hair on your bodies.

1. Playing doctor. This is surprisingly common among young children. The adult version is to get naked with a friend or several friends, and pretend you are undergoing a medical exam or procedure that involves the genitals. With the youngsters, playing doctor is not necessarily masturbatory or even sexual. With adults, anything can happen!

2. You and one or more friends are near each other, possibly watching and conversing while each person only touches themselves.

3. You masturbate your friend, and then your friend masturbates you. This way, you each get to enjoy the full feelings of being touched, without having to focus on satisfying the other person at the same time.


4. You get in a position where each is masturbating the other at the same time.

Assuming you have a brother, sister, cousin or friend who is interested, yet can respect your privacy by not blabbing to old-school people who could cause trouble, they can be your masturbation partner.

Quite often, mutual masturbation can include mouth-to-genital activities. Typically, this would be sucking on a penis, known as ‘blowjob’ or ‘fellatio,’ or licking a vagina, known as ‘going down on,’ ‘eating out,’ or ‘cunnilingus.’ This is more risky, and I’d really suggest avoiding anything oral. Since you can give and get delightful orgasms strictly with hands, there’s no need for anything more.

Assuming you are under 18 years old, it is a bad idea to masturbate with anyone older than 18 years old. The older person can get in legal trouble for being sexual with an underage person. Furthermore, they can persuade you to do things you’re not ready for. Oddly, sexual activity, even if just mutual masturbation, between someone younger than 18, and someone older, can have unexpected lifelong psychological consequences.

If someone older wants to masturbate, or do anything sexual with you, and you don’t want it, you are well within your rights to say “No.” If that person bothers you continually, badgers you, tries to blackmail you, or physically forces you to get sexual in any way, that’s rape. If you feel this might happen, let a responsible adult know the details of your concern.

Just to be safe, I’d recommend washing your hands before and after mutual masturbation.

If you’re masturbating with a girl, you can do the same things to her that you enjoy. Remember, for most women, starting very gentle is best, and slowly working up to the intensity of stimulation she wants. She may really enjoy non-masturbatory activity first, such as touching or massaging her whole body such as her arms, legs, back, neck, even her face and head.

If you’re masturbating with a boy, you’ll find that they enjoy handjobs. You might start by very light touching of the scrotum, then the tip of the penis. He will become erect if he isn’t already, meaning his penis will harden and become larger. This does not hurt the boy, and indicates he is experiencing a level of sexual expectation or pleasure. You can move your hand up and down on the loose skin of his penis. When boys orgasm, semen flows out of the end of their penis. Avoid getting that semen anywhere around your vagina, so you don’t end up having a baby.

Girl's Guide to Masturbation - Masturbating a Boy

In general, boys are more focused on their genitals. They like having their balls, dicks, and maybe their assholes stimulated directly, and aren’t as interested as girls are in whole body experiences. Whereas you might really enjoy having someone touching your sides, breasts, ass, back, neck, legs, arms and hands, touched, that usually has less effect on boys.

The boys will quite often start off too rough with you. It can be a real turn-off. Remind the boy that girls are different, they like to start with very gentle whole-body touching.

The boys can also become insistent. They are often concerned with just getting on with sex and thrusting in their penises. They quite often want to violate common sense, and will try to talk you into intercourse. Let a boy know in no uncertain terms, as early as you can, that you don’t want to take that risk, and that if he insists, everything good stops right away. If he doesn’t stop, it is rape, a very serious legal problem for him.

I shouldn’t even have to mention this, but if you find yourself in a situation where intercourse is going to happen, you’ll want to make sure to use a proper contraceptive. That’s something that will supposedly prevent pregnancy. Contraceptives are not perfect. They fail all too often.

The most common contraceptive is condoms, also known as ‘rubbers.’ These are thin rubber coverings that a boy can unroll over his penis. That will (supposedly) keep his semen – containing his sperm – within the condom, and not let it into your vagina. A condom is not much help when it comes to crabs, herpes, and a variety of other diseases.


Girl's Guide to Masturbation, Applying a Condom
Applying a condom

What if I want to masturbate with a girl? Does that make me gay?

Not necessarily. Many women have had woman-to-woman experiences, yet they end up happily married to a man. Of course if you are gay, also known as ‘lesbian,’ that’s become much more acceptable in today’s society. There’s nothing morally wrong with lesbianism. The only problem you may run into is that there are people in our society who are very down on things they don’t understand, and may give you a hard time.

What’s the scoop on pornography?

Why do we watch porn?

  • Curious of what others have
  • Curious of what the other sex has
  • What is sex “really” like?
  • It’s exciting
  • We know it is naughty, this turns us on even more
  • Risk of getting caught is exciting even if it is scary
  • Helps me fantasize, turns me on, makes me really horny

Is porn real?

Much of porn is staged, faked. Some is totally real. It is very hard to tell the difference. The bottom line is that it is entertainment. Many of the porn actors are not typical. They may have overly large breasts or dicks, they may shoot out extraordinary amounts of semen, they may have amazing staying power before they orgasm, they may scream and yell and carry on, they may be especially good looking, and so on.

Some porn is very degrading to women. Those who consistently watch such porn could assume that all women love giving men blowjobs without reciprocation, that it’s OK to slap or hit women, and that it’s all about the man’s pleasure. That kind of porn should be totally avoided.

The better kind of porn portrays men and women as equals. She is entitled to as much pleasure as he is getting. He should treat her as kindly as she treats him. Together, they can explore some crazy and unusual things, but they do it together as partners.

There is also gay porn, porn involving many people, and the less common sexual activities such as anal sex, bondage, and playing with sex toys. This porn should follow along the same lines: Men and women should treat each other equally and with respect.

Porn addiction

Masturbation is not usually addictive. Pornography may be addictive. Here’s how you can tell that you’ve become addicted: If your studies or relationships have changed, if you’re doing poorly in school, or don’t have as much time for your friends and family, you may be addicted.

Most addictions are so difficult to overcome that you’ll need professional help. It may be difficult to bring it up with your parents, but that’s the place to start. If you just can’t, then perhaps another responsible adult can help. That could be a trusted teacher, family member, or the parent of one of your friends. Addictions, whether eating disorders, drug use, or sexual disorders are not something to be ashamed of. They happen to millions of people. In fact, you can be very proud that you’re seeking help.

What happens after an orgasm?

A variety of thing can happen. Not all of these will happen to you although some of these may happen sometimes:

1. You may cry. This isn’t necessary sad or happy crying. It’s just something that can happen after an orgasm.

2. You may immediately want another orgasm.

3. You may not want an orgasm, or to do anything sexual, for anywhere from a few minutes, to many days.

4. You may have mild pain or itching. That will go away soon. If in the very rare circumstance you feel great pain, let your parents know. You may need to see a doctor.

5. You may feel guilty. This is unfortunately common. It’s due to the influence on you from all the old-school misinformation still hanging around that masturbation is supposedly bad.

6. You may feel weak or tired. This can happen after your first orgasms. If it happens later on, you might want to look at other lifestyle issues. Perhaps you’re stressed, not getting enough sleep, or not eating a fully nutritious diet.

What if something isn’t quite right?

As human beings, we tend to worry about things. 99% of the things we worry about turn out to be nothing. Sexual matters tend to be worse, because we are reluctant to discuss them with our parents, doctors, or any other adult.

If you have a concern, communication is the best approach. Most of the time, when you express your worry to an adult, they can put your worries to bed. For instance, when my mother had her first period, and blood came out, she was convinced she was going to die. She reluctantly told her mother about it, who assured her that it was entirely normal. You may have other concerns, perhaps a discharge, an itch, or a concern that you have caused damage due to an usual masturbation technique. Let an adult, or possibly a medical professional if needed, assure you that you’re OK. It’s worth discussing, because it will take a load off your mind.

What if I need to see a doctor?

Girl's Guide to Masturbation - Medical Issues

Doctors are there to help you, not to hurt you.

They see breasts, vaginas and anuses every single day, they will not have any sexual charge, or any concern about seeing yours. They will maintain your privacy while being examined. Only the doctor, possibly an adult chaperone, and anyone who you specifically allow will be present while you’re examined. Normally, after puberty, your parents are not allowed to be in the exam room, unless you give your permission.

Doctors cannot tell, and don’t care if you have masturbated.

Doctors masturbate as well.

We mentioned misinformation once or twice. Here are some common misbeliefs:

  • I will lose my eyesight.
  • God will chop my hands off.
  • Masturbation makes me bald, sick, hair on my palms.
  • Bad for my health.
  • Stunts my growth.
  • Stops my breasts growing.
  • Affects puberty.
  • My parents can smell if I have masturbated.

Are there unsafe masturbation practices?

Yes, totally.

  • Your urethra (peehole) is very susceptible to infection. It is best not to stick anything into the urethra. If you must do so, make sure the object is sterile and smooth. The urethral walls can tear easily, and bleed profusely.
  • It is possible to put something in your anus or vagina that you can’t remove. Things with sharp edges are especially problematic for obvious reasons. If you must put big things in, make sure a string is firmly attached so you can pull it back out. Better yet, don’t put big things in there.
  • Any sort of exchange of bodily fluids with another person could cause you a lifetime of illness.
  • There is no need to combine masturbation with use of drugs, alcohol, or dangerous practices such as cutting. Masturbation by itself is totally enjoyable.
  • When it comes to mutual masturbation or other forms of two-person sex, be very careful who you associate with. Some people are terribly abusive.
  • Keep your masturbation private. In the heat of the moment, you may let someone participate who will blab all over over town, or worse, post your pictures or video on the Internet. You can never undo that.
  • You may see challenges on TikTok and elsewhere that might involve blocking your breathing, or inserting unsafe objects. These challenges do not need to be taken seriously.

So, what are some safe masturbation practices?

  • Add peeing into your masturbation practice. Playing with peeing is often called ‘watersports.’
  • Masturbate outdoors in a safe and secluded space.
  • Lay on one or more pillows, and rub against them, called pillow humping.
  • Edging. This is the idea of getting close to orgasm, but putting it off for as long as you can.
  • Masturbate on webcam, but only with a trusted friend. Do not keep recordings of your masturbatory times. When webcamming, even with a friend, it is best not to show your face. The other person could have friends in the room watching you, or even making a video of you to upload on the internet.
  • Expand your fantasy life while masturbating.
  • Medibation is the combination of meditation and masturbation. It can take any form you wish from mindful masturbation, to letting your mind be as clear as you can while masturbating.
  • It is possible to read, listen to music, watch videos, and even study while masturbating.
Posted on Leave a comment

Women’s Guide to Masturbation

This post has been written because you may not have complete and accurate information on sex and masturbation. I hope you find it informative and interesting.

Many women have not done this fun little anatomy lesson. Grab a mirror and maybe a flashlight, and take a good look between your legs. Don’t be scared. You are not doing anything wrong and you should not feel dirty.


Woman's guide to masturbation and sex, illustrated vagina

Situated at the top of the vagina, between the outer labia (‘labia majora’), also known as the vulva, and the inner labia (also known as ‘labia minora’), is your clitoris, often simply called the ‘clit.’ That’s the most sensitive part, containing literally thousands of nerve endings. It may be covered by a fold of skin called the clitoral hood. You should be able to gently push the clitoral hood up or to one side and reveal the clitoris. You may find the clitoris is initially too sensitive to touch or sends unusual sensations through your body.

The clitoris is the only organ in your body that has the sole purpose of providing pleasure. We’ll talk more about that later. You may be surprised that the little button you can see is only the tip of the iceberg. The total length of the clitoris is around 3 inches (7.5 cm).

Woman

If you spread your inner labia apart, and look further down, you may see a small opening, called the urethral opening or ‘meatus.’ The urethra is a tube that runs from the meatus to your bladder, which is a balloon in your body that holds urine (pee).

An interesting experiment you might enjoy is to sit on the edge of your bathtub, and pee a little bit while holding a mirror to watch it happen. Don’t get the mirror wet 🙂

The largese opening, hidden between your inner labis, is the vaginal canal. Tiny though it is, the tissues around the opening are very flexible. A few inches inside the vaginal canal is the cervix, sometimes known as the ‘os’ which is a tight opening that leads to your uterus.

Woman's Guide to Masturbation - Vagina held open with speculum to show cervix
Vagina held open with a medical tool called a speculum to show cervix

The uterus is where babies are formed. Beyond the uterus are a couple of tubes, the Fallopian tubes, that lead to ovaries. The ovaries are small white glands that are similar to men’s testicles, except instead of forming millions of tiny sperm, they send out one microscopic egg once every 28 days. Interestingly, each ovary secretes one egg every 56 days, alternating with the other ovary. All the eggs you will ever deliver, well under 1,000, are already stored in you the day you are born.

Woman's Guide to Masturbation - Fallopian tubes

If a man squirts sperm (semen) into your vagina, and even if just one of them meets up with an egg, a baby may start to form. You will be pregnant. Since the sperm and eggs are microscopic, and since us humans are so perfectly designed to create babies, it is a very good idea to avoid getting any semen in your vagina unless you are ready to become a mother.

The idea of having a baby is very romantic, but the reality is 18 years of hard labor. Not only that, but in a world with over 8 billion people, maybe adding another human into the mix isn’t such a great idea right now.

Basically, masturbation, and other things you can do besides intercourse (also known as ‘coitus,’ ‘sexual congress,’ ‘balling,’ ‘banging’ or ‘fucking’), makes a lot more sense, and turns out to be just as enjoyable. Some will say even more enjoyable!

When you looked at your vagina with a mirror, what you saw may be different than the picture above. Just like our faces are all different, so are vaginas. Take a look:

Woman's guide to sex and masturbation, different types of vaginas

The shape of your body, whether or not you have breasts and body hair, depend on your age, and genetics.

In addition to your height, weight, and color, the size of your vagina, inner labia, clitoris can vary. Some women have pigmented inner labia, and some do not. The same is true for nipples. Some are large, some are small, some are light, some are dark.

Most men and women have at least some body dysmorphia. That’s where you don’t think you look good. This can be nearly crippling for many people. Interestingly, some of the best looking people think they look terrible. Chances are you are much more beautiful than you realize.

Masturbation, you are probably already familiar:

Masturbation, also known as wanking, fapping, solo sex, jerking off, jilling, and about a thousand other names, is the practice of stimulating your body in a way that’s different than any other ways you may be familiar with. It can be satisfying like eating a good meal, getting enough sleep, winning a game, or soothing an itch. However, this satisfaction is most often felt in your genitals, meaning your vagina, breasts, or anus. Masturbation usually results in an orgasm. It doesn’t have to end in an orgasm, and it doesn’t have to be genital. I read about one woman who did have orgasms when her boyfriend rubbed the area between her shoulders on her upper back. Many women enjoy masturbation without orgasming.

It is very possible you don’t know what an orgasm is. Some women never experience an orgasm. A few have their first orgasms past the age of 40.

So what is it? An orgasm is an involuntary reaction to a thought or physical stimulation. The typical orgasm starts with a chill building up in your body. Typically, this chill will be in your vagina or lower belly, but could be anywhere, even the top of your head. It is a rather delicious chill, and your body lets you know it wants more. Within a minute, the chill builds into something much more. Some have likened it to a sneeze, except much more pleasurable. Your muscles may tighten, your conscious brain may go momentarily offline, and you may feel contractions in your vagina. The orgasm usually lasts less than a minute, although some women will have two or more orgasms in a row. After the orgasm, you may feel sexually satisfied, you may be sleepy or be very relaxed. Some women even cry after an orgasm. That crying isn’t from sadness. It’s not necessarily joy, either. It’s more of a release.

Sex

What are the differences between masturbation and sex?

The most obvious difference is masturbation is something you do yourself. ‘Sex’ when used to mean ‘sexual activity’ involves at least one other person. Sex usually refers to intercourse. Variations include anal intercourse, oral sex, frotting, hugging, sensual massaging, and fingering, all of which are covered elsewhere in this website.

An in between activity is mutual masturbation, in which two or more people masturbate each other. Some people take the word ‘sex’ to mean only ‘intercourse.’ Others use sex to indicate any activity from solo masturbation, or kissing to intercourse.

Woman's Guide to Masturbation, Female Mutual Masturbation
Female mutual masturbation

There are some crazy dangers in any form of sexual activity involving more than one person. Let’s look at a few possible complications. Then you can decide if you might rather just masturbate:

You can become pregnant. Are you equipped to manage a baby?

You can become so sick that you can’t get out of bed, or visit any friends, and then you die. I know that sounds dire. but guess what? It is! I’m not saying that everyone who has sex is going to die, but is it a risk you really want to take for just a few minutes of pleasure?

The deadly sicknesses include syphilis, monkeypox, Covid-19, and AIDS. Sure, many people recover from these diseases, but some do not.

There are also milder diseases, but they can hound you for the rest of your life. Once you catch herpes, which usually manifests as blisters around your mouth or genitals, it can come back again and again. But worse, you can never kiss anyone ever again, in case you’d give them herpes.

Then there are the social issues. You might find a sexual mate who takes advantage of you. That can range from painful teasing, to physical injury. You might develop a reputation that you can never live down. For instance, imagine that your boyfriend takes a picture of you in a suggestive pose with no clothes on. All is good until you break up. He decides to post your picture on the Internet. Guess what? You can never remove a picture posted by someone else. It can spread like wildfire. In time, your friends, coworkers, and even your relatives may see the picture.

Many young people have this belief that bad things happen to other people, not them. That works fine, until it doesn’t.

So, we heartily recommend being satisfied with masturbation. Surprisingly, you can have a better time with masturbation than with intercourse. You get to masturbate where you want, when you want, and the way you want, rather than having to compromise all those decisions with someone else.

You may be surprised to discover that masturbation has many benefits, many of which are listed on the home page. Basically, you can feel better about yourself and your situations, can improve your physical health, and even be more productive.

What is the age range for masturbation?

Some girls have masturbated since such an early age they can’t remember when they started. Three-year-old girls have been known to masturbate. Others don’t start until age 40. Some never did start. It’s all good.

Your author once masturbated with an eighty-year-old woman at the annual Masturbate-A-Thon in San Francisco. I know a fellow who is 88 years old, and still masturbates almost daily. There is no age limit.

Who else masturbates?

Practically everyone of all ages masturbates. You might be surprised to find out that it’s very likely that your coworkers, your minister, your aunts, uncles, even your parents wank. We’re all wankers. Oh, sure, many will never admit it, but they still do it. You see, there’s a weirdness in our society. People are very reluctant to talk about masturbation. Fortunately, this attitude is shifting, but you’ll still find it is so strong in many people that they will claim they don’t masturbate, even though they do.

What about negative influences?

“From a very early age, my parents have told me not to touch myself.”

This is wrong, they should have told you that it is fine to touch yourself, but that you should do it in the privacy of your bedroom. This invalid early learning can have a life-long impact. They might be from a generation, religious or conservative background in which masturbation was discouraged, but you can be sure they secretly masturbated. Things may be mostly different than in your parents’ era, so if they are old-fashioned, it is a good idea to keep your masturbation private from them. There’s no sense in stirring up a hornet’s nest. On the other hand, honesty is generally the best policy. If you feel you can open a discussion about masturbation with your parents, you may find that they can be more supportive than you thought.

“I’ve been told that genitals are dirty.”

Well, maybe they are, especially the anal area, but you can keep yourself clean, and no harm comes from touching that area of your body. As to ‘dirty’ in terms of ‘naughty,’ that too, comes from old-fashioned beliefs.

“The society I live in says that you should not masturbate so I am scared to do it. I keep being told at church that it is sinful.”

This is rapidly becoming old-fashioned. Even some church leaders are now acknowledging that masturbation is not only OK, but has benefits. For those who will say that the Bible speaks against masturbation, you can challenge them to tell you where. The closest they can come is a passage about ‘not spilling seed on the ground.’ This was evidently in reference to a man who was by tradition supposed to make the wife of his deceased brother pregnant.

“I’m worried about what my coworkers, friends or family will think if they know I am masturbating.”

They masturbate too. Chances are, they won’t say anything about it, or if they do, they’ll approach it in good humor, maybe even jokingly.

“I am scared to masturbate.”

Just like driving a car, or doing anything new, masturbating for the first time can be scary.

“What if I get caught masturbating?”

Being caught is exceptionally rare. First, make an effort to to avoid being caught. For most people, masturbation is a private activity. If you are caught, the results will depend on who catches you. Scared, conservative people may have an improper negative reaction. It’s the way they were brought up. Hopefully, you’ll be able to excuse their behavior. Others, will encourage you. Some will offer guidance or or want to help or join you.

As with most everything in life, clear communication is best. It is OK to admit that you enjoy masturbation if the topic comes up. If the people around you are enlightened, they’ll probably admit that they do also.

So, I have decided I want to masturbate, what now?

(This section is for the woman who has never done it. You can skip ahead if you’re an old pro.)

Make sure you have enough time and privacy. If you’re among family or roommates, ask them not to barge into your room, or bother you. If you the people around you are good at communication, you can actually say something like, “I’m going to masturbate, so please don’t disturb me for a while.”

Never lock your door. Locking a bedroom door is dangerous for medical and fire reasons. You might enjoy setting the lighting the way you’d like, and put on some nice music.

Have a nice meal beforehand, and go to the bathroom if you feel the need.

You might like to do this after a bath or shower, so you are clean, refreshed, your hands are warm, and perhaps you are already naked. You can masturbate while clothed or nude. Most people prefer nude if there is time enough to undress and dress. Some, will simply lower their pants, or remove a skirt, and lower their underwear.

I like to recommend starting with a full body examination and adoring love of yourself. It doesn’t matter if you could add or lose some weight, whether you are tall or short, or if your hair isn’t right. This is the time to absolutely love who you are. You might like to admire yourself in a full-length mirror. Notice your breasts, your butt, all the curves of your body. It is not only OK to touch yourself, it is great. Runs your hands over your sides, your breasts, between your legs, over you butt, and just enjoy the sensations.

You may not need any further instruction at all. You may instinctively run your hands between your legs several times. You may automatically discover that special button, your clitoris, and give it attention. Or, maybe not.

You might get a kick out of very lightly running your fingers over your nipples. Then, maybe very lightly, touch your vaginal area. If it is covered with hair, touch it so lightly that you’re only gently brushing the hairs. If there is no hair, see how very lightly you can touch yourself. You may find that your body wants to open naturally, to let your fingers start touching your inner labia, and then your clitoris more and more.

Don’t be surprised if you find the area becoming wet and slippery. Some women secrete a sort of oil naturally, that was created to help a penis slip easily into the vagina. Some women do not have this effect. You might want to try some olive or coconut oil, or a safe body lotion to lubricate the area.

If you haven’t been directed by the feelings in your body what to do, then may I suggest you start running one or two fingers over your clitoris repeatedly. You might like to try a circular motion on your clit with one or two fingers. Be patient. Nothing may happen. That’s OK, you can just enjoy whatever feelings that gives you.

Fantasy is a major component in most masturbation. It is OK to fantasize about any safe activity with any person. It may not be at all appropriate to act on those fantasies, but it is totally OK to let your mind wander to sexy situations.

Do your fantasies concern you? For instance, you may find yourself thinking about a girl or woman. Interest in women is called ‘lesbianism,’ ‘homosexuality,’ or ‘gay.’

As it turns out, everyone is on a bisexual spectrum. That means that no one is 100% straight (interested only in men), or gay (interested only in women). Oh, some people are very close to one end of the spectrum or another, and it’s all fine. Our positions on that spectrum can also vary over time.

As you continue to rub your clit and fantasize, you may have very delicious feelings. These are often described as chills that can happen anywhere in your body from head to toes, but are usually centered in the lower belly or genital region. You may feel like you are going to pee. Usually, that doesn’t happen.

Now, some women have quit at this point. The feelings scare them, so they stop the stimulation. That’s a shame. They are missing out on something very nice. We urge you to continue, and find out what happens. Let the feeling build. Suddenly, the chill may become one of the best feelings you’ve ever had in your life. At the same time, you may feel rhythmic contractions in your vagina or anal area. Just let it happen and enjoy. Congratulations, you’ve had your first orgasm!

Wasn’t as great as you expected? Sometimes that happens with your first few orgasms. As you become more relaxed, more used to the situation, they can build into something truly fantastic.

Some women will want to stop very soon after orgasming. Others want do do it repeatedly, having several orgasms in a row. There’s no telling which style is yours, and it really doesn’t matter.

Now that you are a wanker (masturbater), you might want to explore some variations.

Perhaps the most common variation is to insert your fingers or an object into your vagina. Whatever you use should be smooth and clean. Use some slippery cream or oil if you need additional lubrication. At first, don’t go in too deep, or use something too big around. There’s lots of time for careful exploration of the limits later. Avoid anything that’s dangerous such as wood that can splinter, light bulbs that can shatter, and so on. Avoid chemicals such as toothpaste, soap, or anything that can’t be removed. More than one woman has been taken to the emergency room because they put something in their vagina that they couldn’t get out.

Another very interesting erogenous place can be your anus. Erogenous means a place that if touched can feel sexual. You might start with a very light touch or stroking of your anal area with your fingertips. You might prefer to use rubber gloves if you are adverse to the possibility of getting some poop on your fingers.

You can also insert things is into the anus. You’ll want to clean everything you use afterward. The bacteria that live around the anus can set off an infection in the vaginal area. It’s uncommon, but this can range from an annoying itch, or an undesirable odor, to a serious sickness. So, keep things clean. As with the vagina, whatever you use, if not your fingers, should be small and smooth. Some women have been known to have orgasms just from anal stimulation.

Whether you are putting something into your vagina or anus, you may find it is very tight. This can happen to many women. The muscles can contract really hard. There is no need to force anything. Use lots of lube, and start with something thin. You don’t want something so thin or pointy that it could injure you, of course. Take your time. Relax. Breathe deep. If you can’t get it in today, you have all the rest of your life to work on it.

Can I masturbate with others?

Yes, you can, but there are some things you might like to know:

Masturbating by yourself is far and away the safest form of sex.

In this era of Covid-19, simply breathing near someone else can be dangerous. Plus, you could catch a cold or the flu without even touching anyone.


Covid-19

If you touch someone, the danger increases. You can end up with jock itch, crabs (little insects that live in body hair and are hard to get rid of), or monkeypox.

If you kiss, or do anything involving contact with the genitals, the danger increases yet again, including rather horrible skin diseases, and herpes, a life-long annoyance.

Finally, if you mix bodily fluids, or have any sort of sexual penetration, the risk is even higher. You could catch AIDS. Contrary to popular belief, AIDS is not just something that happens among gay men. That disease can be contracted by men or women and from men or women.

So, if you can be satisfied with solo masturbation, that’s your best bet. Unlike partner sex, you can masturbate when, where and how you want. You can do it absolutely your way, with no need to compromise.

However, if you do want to engage in mutual masturbation, you’re still safer than engaging in other sexual activities.

Mutual masturbation takes many forms, but the most common are:

0. Sharing and comparing. This is not masturbation at all, but you and your friends may like to look at each other naked, noticing breast and nipple size, vaginal shape, ass shape, and the amount of hair on your bodies.

1. Playing doctor. This is surprisingly common among young children. The adult version is to get naked with a friend or several friends, and pretend you are undergoing a medical exam or procedure that involves the genitals. With the youngsters, playing doctor is not necessarily masturbatory or even sexual. With adults, anything can happen!

2. You and one or more friends are near each other, possibly watching conversing while each person only touches themselves.

3. You masturbate your friend, and then your friend masturbates you. This way, you each get to enjoy the full feelings of being touched, without having to focus on satisfying the other person at the same time.


4. You get in a position where each is masturbating the other at the same time.

Assuming you have a brother, sister, cousin or friend who is interested, yet can respect your privacy by not blabbing to old-school people who could cause trouble, they can be your masturbation partner.

Quite often, mutual masturbation can include mouth-to-genital activities. Typically, this would be sucking on a penis, known as ‘blowjob’ or ‘fellatio,’ or licking a vagina, known as ‘going down on,’ ‘eating out,’ or ‘cunnilingus.’ This is more risky, and I’d really suggest avoiding anything oral. Since you can give and get delightful orgasms strictly with hands, there’s no need for anything more.

It is a bad idea to masturbate with anyone younger than 18 years old. You can get in legal trouble for being sexual with an underage person. Oddly, sexual activity, even if just mutual masturbation, between someone younger than 18, and someone older, can have unexpected lifelong psychological consequences.

If someone older wants to masturbate, or do anything sexual with you, and you don’t want it, you are well within your rights to say “No.” If that person bothers you continually, badgers you, tries to blackmail you, or physically forces you to get sexual in any way, that’s rape. If you feel this might happen, let a responsible authority know the details of your concern.

Just to be safe, I’d recommend washing your hands before and after mutual masturbation.

If you’re masturbating with a woman, you can do the same things to her that you enjoy. Remember, for most women, starting very gentle is best, and slowly working up to the intensity of stimulation she wants. She may really enjoy non-masturbatatory activity first, such as touching or massaging her whole body such as her arms, legs, back, neck, even her face and head.

If you’re masturbating with a man, you’ll find that they enjoy handjobs. You might start by very light touching of the scrotum, then the tip of the penis. He will become erect if he isn’t already, meaning his penis will harden and become larger. This does not hurt the man, and indicates he is experiencing a level of sexual expectation or pleasure. You can move your hand up and down on the loose skin of his penis. When men orgasm, semen shoots out of the end of their penis. Avoid getting that semen anywhere around your vagina, so you don’t end up having a baby.

Woman's Guide to Masturbation - Masturbating a Man

In general, men are more focused on their genitals. They like having their balls, dicks, and maybe their assholes stimulated directly, and aren’t as interested as women are in whole body experiences. Where as you might really enjoy having someone touching your sides, breasts, ass, back, neck, legs, arms and hands, touched, that usually has less effect on men.

The men will quite often start off too rough with you. It can be a real turn-off. Remind the man that women are different, they like to start with very gentle whole-body touching.

The men can also become insistent. They quite often want to violate common sense, and will try to talk you into intercourse. Let a man know in no uncertain terms, as early as you can, that you don’t want to take that risk, and that if he insists, everything good stops right away. If he doesn’t stop, it is rape, a very serious legal problem for him.

I shouldn’t even have to mention this, but if you find yourself in a situation where intercourse is going to happen, you’ll want to make sure to use a proper contraceptive. That’s something that will supposedly prevent pregnancy. Contraceptives are not perfect. They fail all too often.

The most common contraceptive is condoms, also known as ‘rubbers.’ These are thin rubber coverings that a man can unroll over his penis. That will (supposedly) keep his semen – containing his sperm – within the condom, and not let it into your vagina. A condom is not much help when it comes to crabs, herpes, and a variety of other diseases.


Woman's Guide to Masturbation, Applying a Condom
Applying a condom

What if I want to masturbate with a woman? Does that make me gay?

Not necessarily. Many women have had woman-to-woman experiences, yet they end up happily married to a man. Of course if you are gay, also known as ‘lesbian,’ that’s become much more acceptable in today’s society. There’s nothing morally wrong with lesbianism. The only problem you may run into is that there are people in our society who are very down on things they don’t understand, and may give you a hard time.

What’s the scoop on pornography?

Why do we watch porn?

  • Curious of what others have
  • Curious of what the other sex has
  • What is sex “really” like?
  • It’s exciting
  • We know it is naughty, this turns us on even more
  • Risk of getting caught is exciting even if it is scary
  • Helps me fantasize, turns me on, makes me really horny

Is porn real?

Much of porn is staged, faked. Some is totally real. It is very hard to tell the difference. The bottom line is that it is entertainment. Many of the porn actors are not typical. They may have overly large breasts or dicks, they may shoot out extraordinary amounts of semen, they may have amazing staying power before they orgasm, they may scream and yell and carry on, they may be especially good looking, and so on.

Some porn is very degrading to women. Those who consistently watch such porn could assume that all women love giving men blowjobs without reciprocation, that it’s OK to slap or hit women, and that it’s all about the man’s pleasure. That kind of porn should be totally avoided.

The better kind of porn portrays men and women as equals. She is entitled to as much pleasure as he is getting. He should treat her as kindly as she treats him. Together, they can explore some crazy and unusual things, but they do it together as partners.

There is also gay porn, porn involving many people, and the less common sexual activities such as anal sex, bondage, and playing with sex toys. This porn should follow along the same lines: Men and women should treat each other equally and with respect.

Porn addiction

Masturbation is not usually addictive. Pornography may be addictive. Here’s how you can tell that you’ve become addicted: If your lifestyle or relationships have changed, if you’re doing poorly at work or in school, or don’t have as much time for your friends and family, you may be addicted.

Most addictions are so difficult to overcome that you’ll need professional help. It may be difficult to bring it up with other responsible adults, but that’s the place to start. Addictions, whether eating disorders, drug use, or sexual disorders are not something to be ashamed of. They happen to millions of people. In fact, you can be very proud that you’re seeking help.

What happens after an orgasm?

A variety of thing can happen. Not all of these will happen to you although some of these may happen sometimes:

1. You may cry. This isn’t necessary sad or happy crying. It’s just something that can happen after an orgasm.

2. You may immediately want another orgasm.

3. You may not want an orgasm, or to do anything sexual, for anywhere from a few minutes, to many days.

4. You may have mild pain or itching. That will go away soon. If in the very rare circumstance you feel great pain, you may need to see a doctor.

5. You may feel guilty. This is unfortunately common. It’s due to the influence on you from all the old-school misinformation still hanging around that masturbation is supposedly bad.

6. You may feel weak or tired. This can happen after your first orgasms. If it happens later on, you might want to look at other lifestyle issues. Perhaps you’re stressed, not getting enough sleep, or not eating a fully nutritious diet.

What if something isn’t quite right?

As human beings, we tend to worry about things. 99% of the things we worry about turn out to be nothing. Sexual matters tend to be worse, because we are reluctant to discuss them with our friends, family members, doctors, or any other adult.

If you have a concern, communication is the best approach. Most of the time, when you express your worry, it can put your worries to bed. For instance, when my mother had her first period, and blood came out, she was convinced she was going to die. She reluctantly told her mother about it, who assured her that it was entirely normal. You may have other concerns, perhaps a discharge, an itch, or a concern that you have caused damage due to an usual masturbation technique. Let a medical professional if needed, assure you that you’re OK. It’s worth discussing, because it will take a load off your mind.

What if I need to see a doctor?

Woman's Guide to Masturbation - Medical Issues

Doctors are there to help you, not to hurt you.

They see breasts, vaginas and anuses every single day, they will not have any sexual charge, or any concern about seeing yours. They will maintain your privacy while being examined. Only the doctor, possibly a chaperone, and anyone who you specifically allow will be present while you’re examined.

Doctors cannot tell, and don’t care if you have masturbated.

Doctors masturbate as well.

We mentioned misinformation once or twice. Here are some common misbeliefs:

  • I will lose my eyesight.
  • God will chop my hands off.
  • Masturbation makes me bald, sick, hair on my palms.
  • Bad for my health.
  • Stunts my growth.
  • Stops my breasts growing.
  • Affects puberty.
  • My parents can smell if I have masturbated.

Are there unsafe masturbation practices?

Yes, totally.

  • Your urethra (peehole) is very susceptible to infection. It is best not to stick anything into the urethra. If you must do so, make sure the object is sterile and smooth. The urethral walls can tear easily, and bleed profusely.
  • It is possible to put something in your anus or vagina that you can’t remove. Things with sharp edges are especially problematic for obvious reasons. If you must put big things in, make sure a string is firmly attached so you can pull it back out. Better yet, don’t put big things in there.
  • Any sort of exchange of bodily fluids with another person could cause you a lifetime of illness.
  • There is no need to combine masturbation with use of drugs, alcohol, or dangerous practices such as cutting. Masturbation by itself is totally enjoyable.
  • When it comes to mutual masturbation or other forms of two-person sex, be very careful who you associate with. Some people are terribly abusive.
  • Keep your masturbation private. In the heat of the moment, you may let someone participate who will blab all over over town, or worse, post your pictures or video on the Internet. You can never undo that.

So, what are some safe masturbation practices?

  • Add peeing into your masturbation practice. Playing with peeing is often called ‘watersports.’
  • Masturbate outdoors in a safe and secluded space.
  • Lay on one or more pillows, and rub against them, called pillow humping.
  • Edging. This is the idea of getting close to orgasm, but putting it off for as long as you can.
  • Masturbate on webcam, but only with a trusted friend. Do not keep recordings of your masturbatory times. It is best not to show your face on webcam.
  • Expand your fantasy life while masturbating.
  • Medibation is the combination of meditation and masturbation. It can take any form you wish from mindful masturbation, to letting your mind be as clear as you can while masturbating.
  • It is possible to read, listen to music, watch videos, and even study or work on a computer while masturbating.
Posted on Leave a comment

An Extremely Enjoyable Homework Assignment for Women

Female masturbation homework assignment

I’d like to propose the following homework assignment.

You can complete this assignment by yourself, or with friends, family, or coworkers, assuming they’re onboard with masturbating together.

Here’s your assignment:

1. Get naked and comfortable in your usual way.

2. Start masturbating.

3. Try your best not to have a full-blown, pulsating orgasm.

4. Instead, feel the chills starting to develop through your body.

5. Masturbate just a little. That may mean more lightly, more slowly, or stimulating a different part of your body. The objective is to stay in the stage where you’re feeling an ongoing chill that can become super-strong, but you don’t go over an edge that would result in full orgasm.

6. Understand that you may not have a breakthrough right away. Keep practicing. The assignment doesn’t necessarily end with one attempt. It could take a while before you get the special effect. Some women have worked on this technique for literally years, extending the length of time, and the intensity of the chills. As you gain experience, you may discover that the pre-orgasmic chills become more intense than full orgasms. They can certainly last longer.

7. Once you master the technique, you can discuss it, maybe even demonstrate it to other people, and you’ll be promoting the many physical and mental health benefits of masturbation.

Posted on 1 Comment

Parents’ Guide to Masturbation

Children will play with their genitals from the earliest age. This should not be discouraged. Instead, it should be discussed and directed. Children should be guided to healthy attitudes about masturbation and sex.

People are just waking up to how badly children were treated in the past. For instance, some babies were tied into cribs with their arms inserted into cardboard carpet tubes, so they couldn’t reach their own genitals.

A Dr. Harvey Kellogg put silver wire sutures into boy’s penises so that erections would be impossible without great pain. Yes, this is the same guy who, along with his brother, invented corn flakes. The reason for corn flakes as a food was that they would supposedly somewhat sedate the kids, so they’d be less likely to masturbate.

What’s normal at an early age?

As soon as babies are old enough to reach out and touch anything, they are likely to be fascinated by their own genitals. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s natural and has been going on for thousands of years.

Boys will have erections. This can happen so early that erections have been seen in ultrasounds of the womb. To boys before adolescence, these erections have little meaning. For them, there is little or no sexual aspect to the erection. The boys may find their erections momentarily interesting, but that’s all. It’s not uncommon for a boy to say, “Look, Mom,” while pointing at his erect little willy.

Many boys will get an erection when they need to pee due to the pressure on the nerves controlling the bladder. This may mean that they pull at their penises and may also do when they are nervous, tired, or just in need of emotional support or something to do. They do feel pleasure from this, but it can’t really be called masturbation.

Little girls may stick their fingers into their vaginas and enjoy the feeling. That doesn’t mean anything sexual. They just find it interesting and enjoyable. Not much different than using their fingers to explore an ear.

It used to be assumed that most girls were virgins, meaning they had intact hymens over their vaginal canals until their first sexual intercourse. It turns out that many girls do not have intact hymens from an early age due to an assortment of activities such as bike or horseback riding, acrobatics, or tree climbing, but also masturbation with objects. Yes, many girls will do this from a young age.

Parent's Guide to Masturbation - Hymen

How do you keep your kids from touching themselves in public?

This is done in the same way that you teach them to stay clothed, not lose their shoes, not pick their noses, and brush their teeth. Lots of gentle repetition of rules.

The most important thing is that they are not being told off, admonished, and disciplined. The rules with respect to touching themselves are that it is fine to do it, but it is something we can do in the privacy of our own bedrooms and not in public.

Sexual Awakening

Starting before or during adolescence, most children will start to take an interest in sexuality. They generally don’t do much to act on it, but they start having sexual thoughts, and may start playing in more focused ways with their genitals.

For better or worse, the Internet plays a big role in sexual awakening these days. The kids find ways to see adult material on the web. It’s not hard to do. Any child can access Wikipedia, and learn a lot, even about deviant sexual practices. That’s why this website isn’t heavily restricted. Youngsters will find a way to get in to all kinds of crazy porn sites, and if they’re going to do that, then at least here, they’ll find accurate and important information.

So, you ought to be prepared for some questions you might find quite awkward.

How do you handle questions from your kids?

Handle sexual questions just like you’d respond to anything else: Truthfully, and as completely as makes sense in the context. Otherwise you can cause confusion that can have long-term psychological consequences.

You might enjoy this true story of a poorly answered question:

A six-year-old girl noticed a construction crew on the street in front of her house. Fascinated, she ran out to the curb to watch the men at work. One of the men felt she got too close, and he flicked her the bird and scowled. You know, he elevated his middle finger at her.

She ran back inside, and asked her mom what that meant, showing her the same gesture.

“It’s about getting pregnant, dear.” The mother then resumed her cooking, giving the child no more attention.

Over the next few days, the little girl gave it a whole lot of thought and became terribly worried, thinking, “I can’t get pregnant. I don’t know anything about taking care of a baby.”

Basically, she freaked out.

Fast forward forty years, and this girl, now a woman, had one failed marriage, and never dated since. She literally couldn’t look men in the eye.

In a successful NLP session (Neuro-Linguistic Programming, much like psychology), the woman was brought back to that long-forgotten memory, and it was discovered that it had unconsciously affected her all these many years later. After she became aware of what was happening, she was able go to out dancing with men that very weekend.

Not all adults work these problems out so easily and so well. In fact, many live their entire lives with phobias, deviant or addictive behaviors, stress disorders, and other complications.

That’s why we don’t molest kids. Even seemingly simple acts can have life-long negative consequences.

Here are some examples of how to handle awkward questions:

Child: “What’s a hardon?”

Parent: “That’s when a man’s penis gets larger and harder. It’s often called an ‘erection.’

Child: “Jamie called me a faggot. What does that mean?”

Parent: “It’s a term to describe someone who loves people of the same sex. You might see two men together, or two women together. They may kiss and everything else. When Jamie calls you that, he is trying to make you mad. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. If he keeps doing it, let me know, OK?”

Child: “Why does it feel nice when I wipe the pee from my vagina?”

Parent: “You have a lot of nerve endings there.”

Child: “How come my sister is getting boobs?”

Parent: “She may have babies someday. Women feed babies milk that’s formed in their breasts.”

Child: “I saw my brother rubbing his penis, which was really huge, and then some white stuff spurted out.”

Parent: “Yeah, that’s called ‘masturbation’ or ‘jerking off.’ It feels nice. As you get older, you may want to do that also. It’s like practicing for when he’ll be married. When that white stuff goes in a woman, it can help her make babies.”

Child: “Sandra said that Professor Dumbledore’s arm turned black because he was wanking. What does that mean?”

Parent: “Wanking is a boy touching his penis. Sandra may believe that, but it’s not true.”

The day will come when your children will start masturbating in earnest. Typically, you won’t know anything about it, but there may be hints. Your kid may stay in her room with the door closed for long periods of time. Your son’s blanket may start getting crusty. Give them their privacy.

Some parents will even give their children locks for their doors. This is good and bad. It lets the kids know that you know, and it’s OK to masturbate in their rooms. If they don’t figure that out on their own, you might come right out and say, “If you feel like masturbating in the privacy of your room, that’s just fine. I did it when I was your age.”

The downside of providing locks is a safety issue. You’d want to know if there was a fire or medical emergency, you wouldn’t have a locked door standing between your child and the help that the child may need.

If you can manage to talk calmly with your children about masturbation, it will have the added benefit that anything else that needs to be communicated with your children will be easier for them to bring up. I mean, you’d want to know if your child is having trouble with math, is being bullied, is confused about spirituality, is having suicidal thoughts, has been introduced to drugs, and so on, right? They’ll be much more open about this, if they haven’t felt a need to hide anything, even masturbation, from you.

What if you discover your child masturbating?

Stay calm for the child’s sake. Just let the kid know that you understand, you masturbate also, but that it should be as much a private activity as possible.

What if your child discovers you masturbating?

Seeing this may confuse or upset your child, so it is best kept in private. However, if you are discovered in the act, the best bet is to remain calm, explain masturbation only to the degree you think your child will understand, and let it be as natural a situation as possible. You might say something like, “Mommy does that sometimes because it makes her feel good,” and leave it at that.

A young child will say, “Oh,” and continue coloring or playing with a toy or whatever they were doing. The child won’t fully understand, and won’t really care.

The older child may try to make a joke of it, or may express true feelings like, “Oh, Dad, that’s gross!” However, your child will live through it, and actually end up more balanced knowing how ubiquitous masturbation is, and that it’s a totally normal activity.

Should you help your child masturbate?

That’s probably not a good idea for several reasons. One has to be concerned about the child telling others until the details fall on the ears of some outspoken person who is opposed to masturbation, overly concerned about the child’s welfare, or has other invalid concerns. There are truly such people, often referred to as Karens, in the world.

It may do more to confuse your child than help in any way. Much like molestation, it can have long-lasting negative consequences.

There have been families where this has been done. Some parents have even masturbated their children, often just once, to show them how it’s done. One woman told me she masturbates her eight-year-old son and 11-year-old daughter every morning before school, so they won’t be horny and can stay focused in their lessons.

I believe these kids will grow up to be healthy and happy, but I have no research to support that. It could, possibly, be quite harmful.

There have also been accounts of family masturbation sessions. For instance all the members of the family may get together after dinner once a week and masturbate. Typically, they don’t touch each other, just themselves. Here’s a story about that: Family Masturbation Night.

What if your child starts exhibiting deviant behavior?

Perhaps your child spends a lot of time spying on a sibling trying to see him or her naked. Perhaps your child tries to make a show of being nude in the house or publicly masturbating. Perhaps your child is doing something dangerous, such as sticking objects into a peehole.

First and foremost. Don’t freak out. Most children have deviations from time to time. However, gentle conversation and guidance is the best solution. If the behavior doesn’t straighten out, you might like to find a proper professional, such as a child psychologist. Please understand that some professionals such as clergy, pediatricians, or school personnel don’t have the necessary training to help and could make things worse.

As to sexuality, your child is likely to grow into a normal, healthy adult. The bigger concerns you should watch for are inappropriate peer influence, drug use, trouble with schoolwork, or narcissistic tendencies.

I found this on Quora

I came across this technique. I don’t necessarily recommend it. It could possibly have long-lasting psychological ramifications for the child, although perhaps it is exactly the best thing you could to bring up a calm, well-balanced child. But since we don’t know, it’s best to wait until someone else researches it, and discovers the truth.

The other problem you might run into is that your child might tell someone who is a Karen, and you’d be in a world of trouble. Unfortunately, many of the participants in our modern culture are still not ready for such ideas.

Here you go:

“I remember my mother talking about an old Japanese technique she would use to keep my brother from crying when he was young. After she fed him, or when he wouldn’t quit crying, Mom would gently massage my brother’s little penis. After a few minutes of massaging, he would settle down and quit crying. Masturbating an infant is an old Japanese custom.

“For the male infant, it really isn’t so much sexual as it is relaxing, and it gives the little guy a sense of security.

“When I started babysitting my nephew for my brother and his wife, I did the same thing my mother did and used the masturbation technique on my nephew. When he wouldn’t stop crying, I would massage his little penis. After just a minute or so of massage, he would quit crying.

“I told my brother and my sister-in-law about me masturbating their son. My brother was a little embarrassed about me bring up that subject in front of his wife. But they are also going to use that old Japanese method.”

# # #