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Girl’s Guide to Masturbation

This post has been written because you may not have complete and accurate information on sex and masturbation. I hope you find it informative and interesting.

We know that young people have access to all sorts of pornography on the Internet, and hope this page will help combat some of the incredible misinformation out there, keeping you healthier and safer.

Many still find this subject taboo, something that can’t be spoken or written about, but as you will see, even though you may have hidden yourself under the covers to read this article, it is a subject that is very important to talk about and one that we should believe should be openly discussed.

It’s OK if you don’t already know everything on this topic. Almost everyone your age is in the same boat. Even your parents, wise and kind though they may be, don’t know everything.

Masturbation is as common among women as it is amongst men, but it remains a subject that women still will not discuss. We are going to discuss this topic in depth using detailed images and language which some of you may not be used to seeing or reading.

Let’s start with a fun little anatomy lesson. Grab a mirror and maybe a flashlight and take a good look between your legs. Don’t be scared. You are not doing anything wrong and you should not feel dirty. The slotted area between your legs is your vagina, sometimes also called ‘pussy,’ ‘VJJ,’ or ‘cunt.’ Note that ‘cunt’ is considered by many people as a bad swear word. Your vagina is a fascinating structure with some interesting parts.


Girl's guide to masturbation and sex, illustrated vagina

Your exploration should be done at your own pace, you may never have touched this area before other than when wiping or showering. You may find that you get some feelings during your exploration that you are not used to, some might be pleasurable, others less so.

You may have an amount of hair around your vagina. It is as normal to have a lot of hair than no hair or little hair. Some girls also choose to shave their vaginas.

Using your fingers, slowly start to investigate your vagina, you only need your fingers for this.

Situated at the top of the vagina, between the outer labia (‘labia majora’), also known as the vulva, and the inner labia (also known as ‘labia minora’), is your clitoris, often simply called the ‘clit.’ On some girls the clitoris is small and hard to find, while on others it is big and easy to notice. The clitoris is the most sensitive part, containing literally thousands of nerve endings. It may be covered by a fold of skin called the clitoral hood. You should be able to gently push the clitoral hood up or to one side and reveal the clitoris. You may find the clitoris is initially too sensitive to touch or sends unusual sensations through your body.

The clitoris is the only organ in your body that has the sole purpose of providing pleasure. We’ll talk more about that later.

If you spread your inner labia apart, and look further down, you may see a small opening, called the urethral opening or ‘meatus.’ The urethra is a tube that runs from the meatus to your bladder, which is a balloon in your body that holds urine (pee).

An interesting experiment you might enjoy is to sit on the edge of your bathtub, and pee a little bit while holding a mirror to watch it happen.

Below the urethra, is a larger opening, which may not be easy to see unless you spread your inner labia really wide. It may seem like an infinitely deep tunnel. That opening may be partially covered by a thin layer of skin called the hymen. Many girls your age no longer have hymens. That little covering often breaks open naturally during an athletic activity such as biking, horse riding, gymnastics, or masturbation with an object or your fingers. If it remains intact, the first time you have sex, the hymen may break then. Some girls notice a bit of pain, and maybe even a little blood when their hymen is broken, but many never even realized it happened.

Girl's Guide to Masturbation - various shapes of hymen in girls

This large opening, the vaginal canal, is where babies come out. Tiny though it is, the tissues around the opening are very flexible. A few inches inside the vaginal canal is the cervix, sometimes known as the ‘os’ which is a tight opening that leads to your uterus.

Girl's Guide to Masturbation - Vagina held open with speculum to show cervix
Vagina held open with a medical tool called a speculum to show cervix

The uterus is where babies are formed. Beyond the uterus are a couple of tubes, the Fallopian tubes, that lead to ovaries. The ovaries are small white glands that, once you are old enough, send out one microscopic egg once every 28 days. Interestingly, each ovary secretes one egg every 56 days, alternating with the other ovary. All the eggs you will ever deliver, well under 1,000, are already stored in you the day you are born.

Girl's Guide to Masturbation - Fallopian tubes

If you are already old enough, then you know about periods, also called menstruation. That happens approximately every 28 days. The actual timing may vary, especially in girls who have recently started menstruating. It’s a system to expel unused eggs, and keep your system clean by washing it with a bit of blood. The timing of periods can vary, as well as how much blood is released. Some girls have minor cramping at that time of the month. If you are one of the rare girls in which the blood loss or cramping is severe, you ought to check with a doctor. If you are already menstruating, even with some inconvenience and possible pain, you can be very proud. You have become a woman.

There are many things that affect how often you menstruate including your stress levels, how much you are eating, your general mood.

You might find you feel more playful and want to explore about the time of ovulation. You might not feel that you want to masturbate during your menstrual cycle, but while the orgasms might take longer, they will be better.

You may already know that boys are different. Instead of vagina, they have testicles and a penis. The penis can fill with blood to make it larger and stiff. From the same tube in the boy’s penis that carries urine, the boy can squirt out a small amount of liquid called semen, also known as ‘cum,’ ‘spunk,’ or ‘jizz,’ that contain millions of microscopic cells called sperm.


Girl's Guide To Masturbation - Male Anatomy
Male sexual organs

If a boy squirts sperm (semen) into your vagina, and even if just one of them meets up with an egg, a baby may start to form. You will be pregnant. Since the sperm and eggs are microscopic, and since us humans are so perfectly designed to create babies, it is a very good idea to avoid getting any semen in your vagina unless you are ready to become a mother.

The idea of having a baby is very romantic, but the reality is 18 years of hard labor. Not only that, but in a world with over 8 billion people, maybe adding another human into the mix isn’t such a great idea right now.

Basically, masturbation, and other things you can do besides intercourse (also known as ‘coitus,’ ‘sexual congress,’ ‘balling,’ ‘banging’ or ‘fucking’), makes a lot more sense, and turns out to be just as enjoyable.

When you looked at your vagina with a mirror, what you saw may be different than the picture above. Just like our faces are all different, so are vaginas. Take a look:

Girl's guide to sex and masturbation, different types of vaginas

The shape of your body, whether or not you have breasts and body hair, depend on your age, and genetics.

In addition to your height, weight, and color, the size of your vagina, inner labia, clitoris can vary. Some women have pigmented inner labia, and some do not. The same is true for nipples. Some are large, some are small, some are light, some are dark.

Most men and women have at least some body dysmorphia. That’s where you don’t think you look good. This can be nearly crippling for many people. Interestingly, some of the best looking people think they look terrible. Chances are you are much more beautiful than you realize.

Girl's Guide to Masturbation - stages of development

Masturbation, what does it mean?

Masturbation, also known as wanking, fapping, solo sex, jerking off, jilling, and about a thousand other names, is the practice of stimulating your body in a way that’s different than any other ways you may be familiar with. It can be satisfying like eating a good meal, getting enough sleep, winning a game, or soothing an itch. However, this satisfaction is most often felt in your genitals, meaning your vagina, breasts, or anus. Masturbation usually results in an orgasm. It doesn’t have to end in an orgasm, and it doesn’t have to be genital. I read about one woman who did have orgasms when her boyfriend rubbed the area between her shoulders on her upper back. Many people enjoy masturbation without orgasming.

It is very possible you don’t know what an orgasm is. Some women never experience an orgasm. A few have their first orgasms past the age of 40. On the other end of the spectrum, you’re never too young to have an orgasm.

So what is it? An orgasm is an involuntary reaction to a thought or physical stimulation. The usual orgasm starts with a chill building up in your body. Typically, this chill will be in your vagina or lower belly, but could be anywhere, even the top of your head. It is a rather delicious chill, and your body lets you know it wants more. Within a minute, the chill builds into something much more. Some have likened it to a sneeze, except much more pleasurable. Your muscles may tighten, you may start to shake uncontrollably, your conscious brain may go momentarily offline, you may loose bladder control, and you may feel contractions in your vagina. The orgasm usually lasts only a few seconds, although some women will have two or more orgasms in a row. After the orgasm, you may feel sexually satisfied, you may be sleepy or be very relaxed. Some women even cry after an orgasm. That crying isn’t from sadness. It’s not necessarily joy, either. It’s more of a release.

Every other form of emotional release is also possible, grunting, moaning, whimpering, shouting, or even screaming.

Which parts of my body do I use to masturbate?

Masturbation is stimulating parts of your body, usually with the intention of giving yourself an orgasm. The main part for most women is the vagina, and may be specifically the clitoris, that little button at the top of the vagina between your inner labia. However, masturbation can include stimulating the nipples, the anus, the mouth, even the legs, hands, belly, and other body parts.

Sex

What are the differences between masturbation and sex?

The most obvious difference is masturbation is something you do yourself. ‘Sex’ when used to mean ‘sexual activity’ involves at least one other person. Sex usually refers to intercourse, which is the placing of the male penis in the female vagina. Variations include anal intercourse, oral sex, frotting, hugging, sensual massaging, and fingering, all of which are covered elsewhere in this website.

An in between activity is mutual masturbation, in which two or more people masturbate each other. Some people take the word ‘sex’ to mean only ‘intercourse.’ Others use sex to indicate any activity from solo masturbation, or kissing to intercourse.

Girl's Guide to Masturbation, Female Mutual Masturbation
Female mutual masturbation

There are some dangers in any form of sexual activity involving more than one person. Let’s look at a few possible complications. Then you can decide if you might rather just masturbate:

You can become pregnant. You may be surprised at how young an age this can happen. For most girls, they are not fertile until at least age eleven. But some have become pregnant as early as five years old. Are you equipped to manage a baby?

You can become so sick that you can’t get out of bed, or visit any friends, and then you die. I know that sounds dire. but guess what? It is! I’m not saying that everyone who has sex is going to die, but is it a risk you really want to take for just a few minutes of pleasure?

The deadly sicknesses include syphilis, monkeypox, Covid-19, and AIDS. Sure, many people recover from these diseases, but some do not.

There are also milder diseases, but they can hound you for the rest of your life. Once you catch herpes, which usually manifests as blisters around your mouth or genitals, it can come back again and again. But worse, you can never kiss anyone ever again, in case you’d give them herpes.

Then there are the social issues. You might find a sexual mate who takes advantage of you. That can range from painful teasing, to physical injury. You might develop a reputation that you can never live down. For instance, imagine that your boyfriend takes a picture of you in a suggestive pose with no clothes on. All is good until you break up. He decides to post your picture on the Internet. Guess what? You can never remove a picture posted by someone else. It can spread like wildfire. In time, your friends, classmates, aunts, uncles, teachers, and even your parents may see the picture.

Many young people have this belief that bad things happen to other people, not them. That works fine, until it doesn’t.

So, we heartily recommend being satisfied with masturbation. Surprisingly, you can have a better time with masturbation than with intercourse. You get to masturbate where you want, when you want, and the way you want, rather than having to compromise all those decisions with someone else.

You may be surprised to discover that masturbation has many benefits, many of which are listed on the home page. Basically, you can feel better about yourself and your situations, can improve your physical health, and even study better.

When should I start masturbating?

Start when you feel like it. Some girls have masturbated since such an early age they can’t remember when they started. Three-year-old girls have been known to masturbate. Others don’t start until age 40. Some never did start. It’s all good.

When will I stop masturbating?

I once masturbated with an eighty-year-old woman at the annual Masturbate-A-Thon in San Francisco. I know a fellow who is 88 years old and still masturbates almost daily. There is no age limit.

Who else masturbates?

Practically everyone of all ages masturbates. You might be surprised to find out that it’s very likely that your teachers, your minister, your aunts, uncles, even your parents wank. We’re all wankers. Oh, sure, many will never admit it, but they still do it. You see, there’s a weirdness in our society. People are very reluctant to talk about masturbation. Fortunately, this attitude is shifting, but you’ll still find it is so strong in many people that they will claim they don’t masturbate, even though they do.

It’s kind of like the opposite of smoking cigarettes in the 1950s. People pretty well knew it was bad for health, but no one would talk about it, and people had to smoke because all their friends did it.

Why have I suddenly started to become interested in masturbating?

Sudden interest in masturbation is common. It may begin when your hormones shift as you grow, it may be because of a natural time of sexual awakening, or awareness in social circles. If you friends start talking about sex or masturbation, it makes sense that it might become interesting to you also.

What about negative influences?

“My parents have told me not to touch myself.”

This is wrong, they should have told you that it is fine to touch yourself, but that you should do it in the privacy of your bedroom.

“I’ve been told that genitals are dirty.”

Well, maybe they are, especially the anal area, but you can keep yourself clean, and no harm comes from touching that area of your body. As to ‘dirty’ in terms of ‘naughty,’ that too, comes from old-fashioned beliefs.

“My parents have told me not to masturbate.”

They might be from a generation, religious or conservative background in which masturbation was discouraged, but you can be sure they used to masturbate and probably still do. Things may be mostly different than in your parents’ era, so if they are old-fashioned, it is a good idea to keep your masturbation private. There’s no sense in stirring up a hornet’s nest. On the other hand, honesty is generally the best policy. If you feel you can open a discussion about masturbation with your parents, you may find that they can be more supportive than you thought.
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“The society I live in says that you should not masturbate so I am scared to do it. I keep being told at church that it is sinful.”

This is rapidly becoming old-fashioned. Even some church leaders are now acknowledging that masturbation is not only OK, but has benefits.

“I’m worried about what my parents or siblings will think if they know I am masturbating.”

They know that you are of an age where you probably will masturbate. Chances are, they won’t say anything about it, or if they do, they’ll approach it in good humor, maybe even jokingly.

“I am scared to masturbate.”

Just like driving a car, or doing anything new, masturbating for the first time can be scary.

“I am scared of my siblings and what they will think about be masturbating.”

If they are older than you, they are probably more worried about you discovering their interest in masturbation, than them discovering you.

“What if I get caught masturbating?”

First, make an effort to avoid being caught. For most people, masturbation is a private activity. If you are caught, the results will depend on who catches you. Scared, conservative parents may have an improper negative reaction. It’s the way they were brought up. Hopefully, you’ll be able to excuse their behavior. Others will encourage you. Some will offer guidance or instruction. A very common reaction is to install a lock on your bedroom door, wink, and say something like, “You’re old enough now, you deserve your private time.”

As with most everything in life, clear communication is best. It is OK to admit to most parents, siblings, and other family members that you enjoy masturbation. If they are enlightened, they’ll probably admit that they do also.

So, I have decided I want to masturbate, what now?

Make sure you have enough time and privacy. Ask your family not to barge into your room, or bother you. If you and your family are good at communication, you can actually say something like, “I’m going to masturbate, so please don’t disturb me for a while.”

Never lock your door. Locking a bedroom door is dangerous for medical and fire reasons. You might enjoy setting the lighting the way you’d like, and put on some nice music.

Have a nice meal beforehand, and go to the bathroom if you feel the need.

You might like to do this after a bath or shower, so you are clean, refreshed, your hands are warm, and perhaps you are already naked. You can masturbate while clothed or nude. Most people prefer nude if there is time enough to undress and dress. Some, will simply lower their pants, or remove a skirt, and lower their underwear.

I like to recommend starting with a full body examination and adoring love of yourself. It doesn’t matter if you could add or lose some weight, whether you are tall or short, or if your hair isn’t right. This is the time to absolutely love who you are. You might like to admire yourself in a full-length mirror. Notice your breasts, your butt, all the curves of your body. It is not only OK to touch yourself, but can be great. Run your hands over your sides, your breasts, between your legs, over your butt, and just enjoy the sensations.

You may not need any further instruction at all. You may instinctively run your hands between your legs several times. You may automatically discover that special button, your clitoris, and give it attention. Or, maybe not.

You might get a kick out of very lightly running your fingers over your nipples. Then, maybe very lightly, touch your vaginal area. If it is covered with hair, touch it so lightly that you’re only gently brushing the hairs. If there is no hair, see how very lightly you can touch yourself. You may find that your body wants to open naturally, to let your fingers start touching your inner labia, and then your clitoris more and more.

When ever you give yourself self-love and massage, use the strokes that are for you. Deep, long, short, firm, light or delicate. Remember that this is your body, your feelings, do what feels good for you and not someone else.

Use on finger to make snail trails around your body, all over, find out what feels good. Use the underside of your finger, or introduce a nail to lightly scrape over your skin.

Don’t be surprised if you find the area becoming wet and slippery. Some women secrete a sort of oil naturally, that was created to help a penis slip easily into the vagina. Some women do not have this effect. You might want to try some olive or coconut oil, or a safe body lotion to lubricate the area.

In case you are one of the people who get particularly wet, you may want to have a towel under your body.

If you haven’t been directed by the feelings in your body what to do, then may I suggest you start running one or two fingers over your clitoris repeatedly. You might like to try a circular motion on your clit with one or two fingers. Be patient. Nothing may happen. That’s OK, you can just enjoy whatever happens.

Fantasy is a major component in most masturbation. It is OK to fantasize about any safe activity with any person. It may not be at all appropriate to act on those fantasies, but it is totally OK to let your mind wander to sexy situations.

There are some people that will use porn, but thoughts and feelings from your own body are always so much better, real and felt within you.

Do your fantasies concern you? For instance, you may find yourself thinking about a girl or woman. Interest in women is called ‘lesbianism,’ ‘homosexuality,’ or ‘gay.’

As it turns out, everyone is on a bisexual spectrum. That means that no one is 100% straight (interested only in men), or gay (interested only in women). Oh, some people are very close to one end of the spectrum or another, and it’s all fine. Our positions on that spectrum can also vary over time.

As you continue to rub your clit and fantasize, you may have very delicious feelings. These are often described as chills that can happen anywhere in your body from head to toes, but are usually centered in the lower belly or genital region. You may feel like you are going to pee. Usually, that doesn’t happen.

Now, some women will quit at this point. The feelings scare them, so they stop the stimulation. That’s a shame. They are missing out on something very nice. We urge you to continue and find out what happens. Let the feeling build. Suddenly, the chill may become one of the best feelings you’ve ever had in your life. At the same time, you may feel rhythmic contractions in your vagina or anal area. Just let it happen and enjoy. Congratulations, you’ve had your first orgasm!

Wasn’t as great as you expected? Sometimes that happens with your first few orgasms. As you become more relaxed, more used to the situation, they can build into something truly fantastic.

Some women will want to stop very soon after orgasming. Others want do do it repeatedly, having several orgasms in a row. There’s no telling which style is yours, and it really doesn’t matter.

Now that you are a wanker (masturbater), you might want to explore some variations.

Perhaps the most common variation is to insert your fingers or an object into your vagina. Whatever you use should be smooth and clean. Use some slippery cream or oil if you need additional lubrication.

Remember that you do not need to penetrate your vagina at all. Many girls get as much pleasure from the outside and do not need anything to go inside at all.

At first, don’t go in too deep, or use something too big around. There’s lots of time for careful exploration of the limits later. Avoid anything that’s dangerous such as wood that can splinter, light bulbs that can shatter, and so on. Avoid chemicals such as toothpaste, soap, or anything that can’t be removed. More than one woman has been taken to the emergency room because they put something in their vagina that they couldn’t get out.

Another very interesting erogenous place can be your anus. Erogenous means a place that if touched can feel sexual. You might start with a very light touch or stroking of your anal area with your fingertips. You might prefer to use rubber gloves if you are averse to the possibility of getting some poop on your fingers.

You can also insert things into the anus. You’ll want to clean everything you use afterward. The bacteria that live around the anus can set off an infection in the vaginal area. It’s uncommon, but this can range from an annoying itch, or an undesirable odor, to a serious sickness. So, keep things clean. As with the vagina, whatever you use, if not your fingers, should be small and smooth. Some women have been known to have orgasms just from anal stimulation.

Whether you are putting something into your vagina or anus, you may find it is very tight. This can happen to many women. The muscles can contract really hard. There is no need to force anything. Use lots of lube and start with something thin. You don’t want something so thin or pointy that it could injure you, of course. Take your time. Relax. Breathe deep. If you can’t get it in today, you have all the rest of your life to work on it.

If you feel you would like a sex toy, but are unable to get one due to concerns with your parents or others, then walk around the local supermarket with and open mind and see what you can find. Toilet roll stand? Hairbrush? Toothbrush? Think always what you are trying to do, then let the mind wander.

Can I masturbate with others?

Yes, you can, but there are some things you might like to know:

Masturbating by yourself is far and away the safest form of sex.

In this era of Covid-19, simply breathing near someone else can be dangerous. Plus, you could catch a cold or the flu without even touching anyone.


Covid-19

If you touch someone, the danger increases. You can end up with jock itch, crabs (little insects that live in body hair and are hard to get rid of), or monkeypox.

If you kiss, or do anything involving contact with the genitals, the danger increases yet again, including rather horrible skin diseases, and herpes, a life-long annoyance.

Finally, if you mix bodily fluids, or have any sort of sexual penetration, the risk is even higher. You could catch AIDS. Contrary to popular belief, AIDS is not just something that happens among gay men. That disease can be contracted by men or women and from men or women.

So, if you can be satisfied with solo masturbation, that’s your best bet. Unlike partner sex, you can masturbate when, where and how you want. You can do it absolutely your way, with no need to compromise.

However, if you do want to engage in mutual masturbation, you’re still safer than engaging in other sexual activities.

Mutual masturbation takes many forms, but the most common are:

0. Sharing and comparing. This is not masturbation at all, but you and your friends may like to look at each other naked, noticing breast and nipple size, vaginal shape, ass shape, and the amount of hair on your bodies.

1. Playing doctor. This is surprisingly common among young children. The adult version is to get naked with a friend or several friends, and pretend you are undergoing a medical exam or procedure that involves the genitals. With the youngsters, playing doctor is not necessarily masturbatory or even sexual. With adults, anything can happen!

2. You and one or more friends are near each other, possibly watching and conversing while each person only touches themselves.

3. You masturbate your friend, and then your friend masturbates you. This way, you each get to enjoy the full feelings of being touched, without having to focus on satisfying the other person at the same time.


4. You get in a position where each is masturbating the other at the same time.

Assuming you have a brother, sister, cousin or friend who is interested, yet can respect your privacy by not blabbing to old-school people who could cause trouble, they can be your masturbation partner.

Quite often, mutual masturbation can include mouth-to-genital activities. Typically, this would be sucking on a penis, known as ‘blowjob’ or ‘fellatio,’ or licking a vagina, known as ‘going down on,’ ‘eating out,’ or ‘cunnilingus.’ This is more risky, and I’d really suggest avoiding anything oral. Since you can give and get delightful orgasms strictly with hands, there’s no need for anything more.

Assuming you are under 18 years old, it is a bad idea to masturbate with anyone older than 18 years old. The older person can get in legal trouble for being sexual with an underage person. Furthermore, they can persuade you to do things you’re not ready for. Oddly, sexual activity, even if just mutual masturbation, between someone younger than 18, and someone older, can have unexpected lifelong psychological consequences.

If someone older wants to masturbate, or do anything sexual with you, and you don’t want it, you are well within your rights to say “No.” If that person bothers you continually, badgers you, tries to blackmail you, or physically forces you to get sexual in any way, that’s rape. If you feel this might happen, let a responsible adult know the details of your concern.

Just to be safe, I’d recommend washing your hands before and after mutual masturbation.

If you’re masturbating with a girl, you can do the same things to her that you enjoy. Remember, for most women, starting very gentle is best, and slowly working up to the intensity of stimulation she wants. She may really enjoy non-masturbatory activity first, such as touching or massaging her whole body such as her arms, legs, back, neck, even her face and head.

If you’re masturbating with a boy, you’ll find that they enjoy handjobs. You might start by very light touching of the scrotum, then the tip of the penis. He will become erect if he isn’t already, meaning his penis will harden and become larger. This does not hurt the boy, and indicates he is experiencing a level of sexual expectation or pleasure. You can move your hand up and down on the loose skin of his penis. When boys orgasm, semen flows out of the end of their penis. Avoid getting that semen anywhere around your vagina, so you don’t end up having a baby.

Girl's Guide to Masturbation - Masturbating a Boy

In general, boys are more focused on their genitals. They like having their balls, dicks, and maybe their assholes stimulated directly, and aren’t as interested as girls are in whole body experiences. Whereas you might really enjoy having someone touching your sides, breasts, ass, back, neck, legs, arms and hands, touched, that usually has less effect on boys.

The boys will quite often start off too rough with you. It can be a real turn-off. Remind the boy that girls are different, they like to start with very gentle whole-body touching.

The boys can also become insistent. They are often concerned with just getting on with sex and thrusting in their penises. They quite often want to violate common sense, and will try to talk you into intercourse. Let a boy know in no uncertain terms, as early as you can, that you don’t want to take that risk, and that if he insists, everything good stops right away. If he doesn’t stop, it is rape, a very serious legal problem for him.

I shouldn’t even have to mention this, but if you find yourself in a situation where intercourse is going to happen, you’ll want to make sure to use a proper contraceptive. That’s something that will supposedly prevent pregnancy. Contraceptives are not perfect. They fail all too often.

The most common contraceptive is condoms, also known as ‘rubbers.’ These are thin rubber coverings that a boy can unroll over his penis. That will (supposedly) keep his semen – containing his sperm – within the condom, and not let it into your vagina. A condom is not much help when it comes to crabs, herpes, and a variety of other diseases.


Girl's Guide to Masturbation, Applying a Condom
Applying a condom

What if I want to masturbate with a girl? Does that make me gay?

Not necessarily. Many women have had woman-to-woman experiences, yet they end up happily married to a man. Of course if you are gay, also known as ‘lesbian,’ that’s become much more acceptable in today’s society. There’s nothing morally wrong with lesbianism. The only problem you may run into is that there are people in our society who are very down on things they don’t understand, and may give you a hard time.

What’s the scoop on pornography?

Why do we watch porn?

  • Curious of what others have
  • Curious of what the other sex has
  • What is sex “really” like?
  • It’s exciting
  • We know it is naughty, this turns us on even more
  • Risk of getting caught is exciting even if it is scary
  • Helps me fantasize, turns me on, makes me really horny

Is porn real?

Much of porn is staged, faked. Some is totally real. It is very hard to tell the difference. The bottom line is that it is entertainment. Many of the porn actors are not typical. They may have overly large breasts or dicks, they may shoot out extraordinary amounts of semen, they may have amazing staying power before they orgasm, they may scream and yell and carry on, they may be especially good looking, and so on.

Some porn is very degrading to women. Those who consistently watch such porn could assume that all women love giving men blowjobs without reciprocation, that it’s OK to slap or hit women, and that it’s all about the man’s pleasure. That kind of porn should be totally avoided.

The better kind of porn portrays men and women as equals. She is entitled to as much pleasure as he is getting. He should treat her as kindly as she treats him. Together, they can explore some crazy and unusual things, but they do it together as partners.

There is also gay porn, porn involving many people, and the less common sexual activities such as anal sex, bondage, and playing with sex toys. This porn should follow along the same lines: Men and women should treat each other equally and with respect.

Porn addiction

Masturbation is not usually addictive. Pornography may be addictive. Here’s how you can tell that you’ve become addicted: If your studies or relationships have changed, if you’re doing poorly in school, or don’t have as much time for your friends and family, you may be addicted.

Most addictions are so difficult to overcome that you’ll need professional help. It may be difficult to bring it up with your parents, but that’s the place to start. If you just can’t, then perhaps another responsible adult can help. That could be a trusted teacher, family member, or the parent of one of your friends. Addictions, whether eating disorders, drug use, or sexual disorders are not something to be ashamed of. They happen to millions of people. In fact, you can be very proud that you’re seeking help.

What happens after an orgasm?

A variety of thing can happen. Not all of these will happen to you although some of these may happen sometimes:

1. You may cry. This isn’t necessary sad or happy crying. It’s just something that can happen after an orgasm.

2. You may immediately want another orgasm.

3. You may not want an orgasm, or to do anything sexual, for anywhere from a few minutes, to many days.

4. You may have mild pain or itching. That will go away soon. If in the very rare circumstance you feel great pain, let your parents know. You may need to see a doctor.

5. You may feel guilty. This is unfortunately common. It’s due to the influence on you from all the old-school misinformation still hanging around that masturbation is supposedly bad.

6. You may feel weak or tired. This can happen after your first orgasms. If it happens later on, you might want to look at other lifestyle issues. Perhaps you’re stressed, not getting enough sleep, or not eating a fully nutritious diet.

What if something isn’t quite right?

As human beings, we tend to worry about things. 99% of the things we worry about turn out to be nothing. Sexual matters tend to be worse, because we are reluctant to discuss them with our parents, doctors, or any other adult.

If you have a concern, communication is the best approach. Most of the time, when you express your worry to an adult, they can put your worries to bed. For instance, when my mother had her first period, and blood came out, she was convinced she was going to die. She reluctantly told her mother about it, who assured her that it was entirely normal. You may have other concerns, perhaps a discharge, an itch, or a concern that you have caused damage due to an usual masturbation technique. Let an adult, or possibly a medical professional if needed, assure you that you’re OK. It’s worth discussing, because it will take a load off your mind.

What if I need to see a doctor?

Girl's Guide to Masturbation - Medical Issues

Doctors are there to help you, not to hurt you.

They see breasts, vaginas and anuses every single day, they will not have any sexual charge, or any concern about seeing yours. They will maintain your privacy while being examined. Only the doctor, possibly an adult chaperone, and anyone who you specifically allow will be present while you’re examined. Normally, after puberty, your parents are not allowed to be in the exam room, unless you give your permission.

Doctors cannot tell, and don’t care if you have masturbated.

Doctors masturbate as well.

We mentioned misinformation once or twice. Here are some common misbeliefs:

  • I will lose my eyesight.
  • God will chop my hands off.
  • Masturbation makes me bald, sick, hair on my palms.
  • Bad for my health.
  • Stunts my growth.
  • Stops my breasts growing.
  • Affects puberty.
  • My parents can smell if I have masturbated.

Are there unsafe masturbation practices?

Yes, totally.

  • Your urethra (peehole) is very susceptible to infection. It is best not to stick anything into the urethra. If you must do so, make sure the object is sterile and smooth. The urethral walls can tear easily, and bleed profusely.
  • It is possible to put something in your anus or vagina that you can’t remove. Things with sharp edges are especially problematic for obvious reasons. If you must put big things in, make sure a string is firmly attached so you can pull it back out. Better yet, don’t put big things in there.
  • Any sort of exchange of bodily fluids with another person could cause you a lifetime of illness.
  • There is no need to combine masturbation with use of drugs, alcohol, or dangerous practices such as cutting. Masturbation by itself is totally enjoyable.
  • When it comes to mutual masturbation or other forms of two-person sex, be very careful who you associate with. Some people are terribly abusive.
  • Keep your masturbation private. In the heat of the moment, you may let someone participate who will blab all over over town, or worse, post your pictures or video on the Internet. You can never undo that.
  • You may see challenges on TikTok and elsewhere that might involve blocking your breathing, or inserting unsafe objects. These challenges do not need to be taken seriously.

So, what are some safe masturbation practices?

  • Add peeing into your masturbation practice. Playing with peeing is often called ‘watersports.’
  • Masturbate outdoors in a safe and secluded space.
  • Lay on one or more pillows, and rub against them, called pillow humping.
  • Edging. This is the idea of getting close to orgasm, but putting it off for as long as you can.
  • Masturbate on webcam, but only with a trusted friend. Do not keep recordings of your masturbatory times. When webcamming, even with a friend, it is best not to show your face. The other person could have friends in the room watching you, or even making a video of you to upload on the internet.
  • Expand your fantasy life while masturbating.
  • Medibation is the combination of meditation and masturbation. It can take any form you wish from mindful masturbation, to letting your mind be as clear as you can while masturbating.
  • It is possible to read, listen to music, watch videos, and even study while masturbating.

Women’s Guide to Masturbation

This post has been written because you may not have complete and accurate information on sex and masturbation. I hope you find it informative and interesting.

Many women have not done this fun little anatomy lesson. Grab a mirror and maybe a flashlight, and take a good look between your legs. Don’t be scared. You are not doing anything wrong and you should not feel dirty.


Woman's guide to masturbation and sex, illustrated vagina

Situated at the top of the vagina, between the outer labia (‘labia majora’), also known as the vulva, and the inner labia (also known as ‘labia minora’), is your clitoris, often simply called the ‘clit.’ That’s the most sensitive part, containing literally thousands of nerve endings. It may be covered by a fold of skin called the clitoral hood. You should be able to gently push the clitoral hood up or to one side and reveal the clitoris. You may find the clitoris is initially too sensitive to touch or sends unusual sensations through your body.

The clitoris is the only organ in your body that has the sole purpose of providing pleasure. We’ll talk more about that later. You may be surprised that the little button you can see is only the tip of the iceberg. The total length of the clitoris is around 3 inches (7.5 cm).

Woman

If you spread your inner labia apart, and look further down, you may see a small opening, called the urethral opening or ‘meatus.’ The urethra is a tube that runs from the meatus to your bladder, which is a balloon in your body that holds urine (pee).

An interesting experiment you might enjoy is to sit on the edge of your bathtub, and pee a little bit while holding a mirror to watch it happen. Don’t get the mirror wet 🙂

The largese opening, hidden between your inner labis, is the vaginal canal. Tiny though it is, the tissues around the opening are very flexible. A few inches inside the vaginal canal is the cervix, sometimes known as the ‘os’ which is a tight opening that leads to your uterus.

Woman's Guide to Masturbation - Vagina held open with speculum to show cervix
Vagina held open with a medical tool called a speculum to show cervix

The uterus is where babies are formed. Beyond the uterus are a couple of tubes, the Fallopian tubes, that lead to ovaries. The ovaries are small white glands that are similar to men’s testicles, except instead of forming millions of tiny sperm, they send out one microscopic egg once every 28 days. Interestingly, each ovary secretes one egg every 56 days, alternating with the other ovary. All the eggs you will ever deliver, well under 1,000, are already stored in you the day you are born.

Woman's Guide to Masturbation - Fallopian tubes

If a man squirts sperm (semen) into your vagina, and even if just one of them meets up with an egg, a baby may start to form. You will be pregnant. Since the sperm and eggs are microscopic, and since us humans are so perfectly designed to create babies, it is a very good idea to avoid getting any semen in your vagina unless you are ready to become a mother.

The idea of having a baby is very romantic, but the reality is 18 years of hard labor. Not only that, but in a world with over 8 billion people, maybe adding another human into the mix isn’t such a great idea right now.

Basically, masturbation, and other things you can do besides intercourse (also known as ‘coitus,’ ‘sexual congress,’ ‘balling,’ ‘banging’ or ‘fucking’), makes a lot more sense, and turns out to be just as enjoyable. Some will say even more enjoyable!

When you looked at your vagina with a mirror, what you saw may be different than the picture above. Just like our faces are all different, so are vaginas. Take a look:

Woman's guide to sex and masturbation, different types of vaginas

The shape of your body, whether or not you have breasts and body hair, depend on your age, and genetics.

In addition to your height, weight, and color, the size of your vagina, inner labia, clitoris can vary. Some women have pigmented inner labia, and some do not. The same is true for nipples. Some are large, some are small, some are light, some are dark.

Most men and women have at least some body dysmorphia. That’s where you don’t think you look good. This can be nearly crippling for many people. Interestingly, some of the best looking people think they look terrible. Chances are you are much more beautiful than you realize.

Masturbation, you are probably already familiar:

Masturbation, also known as wanking, fapping, solo sex, jerking off, jilling, and about a thousand other names, is the practice of stimulating your body in a way that’s different than any other ways you may be familiar with. It can be satisfying like eating a good meal, getting enough sleep, winning a game, or soothing an itch. However, this satisfaction is most often felt in your genitals, meaning your vagina, breasts, or anus. Masturbation usually results in an orgasm. It doesn’t have to end in an orgasm, and it doesn’t have to be genital. I read about one woman who did have orgasms when her boyfriend rubbed the area between her shoulders on her upper back. Many women enjoy masturbation without orgasming.

It is very possible you don’t know what an orgasm is. Some women never experience an orgasm. A few have their first orgasms past the age of 40.

So what is it? An orgasm is an involuntary reaction to a thought or physical stimulation. The typical orgasm starts with a chill building up in your body. Typically, this chill will be in your vagina or lower belly, but could be anywhere, even the top of your head. It is a rather delicious chill, and your body lets you know it wants more. Within a minute, the chill builds into something much more. Some have likened it to a sneeze, except much more pleasurable. Your muscles may tighten, your conscious brain may go momentarily offline, and you may feel contractions in your vagina. The orgasm usually lasts less than a minute, although some women will have two or more orgasms in a row. After the orgasm, you may feel sexually satisfied, you may be sleepy or be very relaxed. Some women even cry after an orgasm. That crying isn’t from sadness. It’s not necessarily joy, either. It’s more of a release.

Sex

What are the differences between masturbation and sex?

The most obvious difference is masturbation is something you do yourself. ‘Sex’ when used to mean ‘sexual activity’ involves at least one other person. Sex usually refers to intercourse. Variations include anal intercourse, oral sex, frotting, hugging, sensual massaging, and fingering, all of which are covered elsewhere in this website.

An in between activity is mutual masturbation, in which two or more people masturbate each other. Some people take the word ‘sex’ to mean only ‘intercourse.’ Others use sex to indicate any activity from solo masturbation, or kissing to intercourse.

Woman's Guide to Masturbation, Female Mutual Masturbation
Female mutual masturbation

There are some crazy dangers in any form of sexual activity involving more than one person. Let’s look at a few possible complications. Then you can decide if you might rather just masturbate:

You can become pregnant. Are you equipped to manage a baby?

You can become so sick that you can’t get out of bed, or visit any friends, and then you die. I know that sounds dire. but guess what? It is! I’m not saying that everyone who has sex is going to die, but is it a risk you really want to take for just a few minutes of pleasure?

The deadly sicknesses include syphilis, monkeypox, Covid-19, and AIDS. Sure, many people recover from these diseases, but some do not.

There are also milder diseases, but they can hound you for the rest of your life. Once you catch herpes, which usually manifests as blisters around your mouth or genitals, it can come back again and again. But worse, you can never kiss anyone ever again, in case you’d give them herpes.

Then there are the social issues. You might find a sexual mate who takes advantage of you. That can range from painful teasing, to physical injury. You might develop a reputation that you can never live down. For instance, imagine that your boyfriend takes a picture of you in a suggestive pose with no clothes on. All is good until you break up. He decides to post your picture on the Internet. Guess what? You can never remove a picture posted by someone else. It can spread like wildfire. In time, your friends, coworkers, and even your relatives may see the picture.

Many young people have this belief that bad things happen to other people, not them. That works fine, until it doesn’t.

So, we heartily recommend being satisfied with masturbation. Surprisingly, you can have a better time with masturbation than with intercourse. You get to masturbate where you want, when you want, and the way you want, rather than having to compromise all those decisions with someone else.

You may be surprised to discover that masturbation has many benefits, many of which are listed on the home page. Basically, you can feel better about yourself and your situations, can improve your physical health, and even be more productive.

What is the age range for masturbation?

Some girls have masturbated since such an early age they can’t remember when they started. Three-year-old girls have been known to masturbate. Others don’t start until age 40. Some never did start. It’s all good.

Your author once masturbated with an eighty-year-old woman at the annual Masturbate-A-Thon in San Francisco. I know a fellow who is 88 years old, and still masturbates almost daily. There is no age limit.

Who else masturbates?

Practically everyone of all ages masturbates. You might be surprised to find out that it’s very likely that your coworkers, your minister, your aunts, uncles, even your parents wank. We’re all wankers. Oh, sure, many will never admit it, but they still do it. You see, there’s a weirdness in our society. People are very reluctant to talk about masturbation. Fortunately, this attitude is shifting, but you’ll still find it is so strong in many people that they will claim they don’t masturbate, even though they do.

What about negative influences?

“From a very early age, my parents have told me not to touch myself.”

This is wrong, they should have told you that it is fine to touch yourself, but that you should do it in the privacy of your bedroom. This invalid early learning can have a life-long impact. They might be from a generation, religious or conservative background in which masturbation was discouraged, but you can be sure they secretly masturbated. Things may be mostly different than in your parents’ era, so if they are old-fashioned, it is a good idea to keep your masturbation private from them. There’s no sense in stirring up a hornet’s nest. On the other hand, honesty is generally the best policy. If you feel you can open a discussion about masturbation with your parents, you may find that they can be more supportive than you thought.

“I’ve been told that genitals are dirty.”

Well, maybe they are, especially the anal area, but you can keep yourself clean, and no harm comes from touching that area of your body. As to ‘dirty’ in terms of ‘naughty,’ that too, comes from old-fashioned beliefs.

“The society I live in says that you should not masturbate so I am scared to do it. I keep being told at church that it is sinful.”

This is rapidly becoming old-fashioned. Even some church leaders are now acknowledging that masturbation is not only OK, but has benefits. For those who will say that the Bible speaks against masturbation, you can challenge them to tell you where. The closest they can come is a passage about ‘not spilling seed on the ground.’ This was evidently in reference to a man who was by tradition supposed to make the wife of his deceased brother pregnant.

“I’m worried about what my coworkers, friends or family will think if they know I am masturbating.”

They masturbate too. Chances are, they won’t say anything about it, or if they do, they’ll approach it in good humor, maybe even jokingly.

“I am scared to masturbate.”

Just like driving a car, or doing anything new, masturbating for the first time can be scary.

“What if I get caught masturbating?”

Being caught is exceptionally rare. First, make an effort to to avoid being caught. For most people, masturbation is a private activity. If you are caught, the results will depend on who catches you. Scared, conservative people may have an improper negative reaction. It’s the way they were brought up. Hopefully, you’ll be able to excuse their behavior. Others, will encourage you. Some will offer guidance or or want to help or join you.

As with most everything in life, clear communication is best. It is OK to admit that you enjoy masturbation if the topic comes up. If the people around you are enlightened, they’ll probably admit that they do also.

So, I have decided I want to masturbate, what now?

(This section is for the woman who has never done it. You can skip ahead if you’re an old pro.)

Make sure you have enough time and privacy. If you’re among family or roommates, ask them not to barge into your room, or bother you. If you the people around you are good at communication, you can actually say something like, “I’m going to masturbate, so please don’t disturb me for a while.”

Never lock your door. Locking a bedroom door is dangerous for medical and fire reasons. You might enjoy setting the lighting the way you’d like, and put on some nice music.

Have a nice meal beforehand, and go to the bathroom if you feel the need.

You might like to do this after a bath or shower, so you are clean, refreshed, your hands are warm, and perhaps you are already naked. You can masturbate while clothed or nude. Most people prefer nude if there is time enough to undress and dress. Some, will simply lower their pants, or remove a skirt, and lower their underwear.

I like to recommend starting with a full body examination and adoring love of yourself. It doesn’t matter if you could add or lose some weight, whether you are tall or short, or if your hair isn’t right. This is the time to absolutely love who you are. You might like to admire yourself in a full-length mirror. Notice your breasts, your butt, all the curves of your body. It is not only OK to touch yourself, it is great. Runs your hands over your sides, your breasts, between your legs, over you butt, and just enjoy the sensations.

You may not need any further instruction at all. You may instinctively run your hands between your legs several times. You may automatically discover that special button, your clitoris, and give it attention. Or, maybe not.

You might get a kick out of very lightly running your fingers over your nipples. Then, maybe very lightly, touch your vaginal area. If it is covered with hair, touch it so lightly that you’re only gently brushing the hairs. If there is no hair, see how very lightly you can touch yourself. You may find that your body wants to open naturally, to let your fingers start touching your inner labia, and then your clitoris more and more.

Don’t be surprised if you find the area becoming wet and slippery. Some women secrete a sort of oil naturally, that was created to help a penis slip easily into the vagina. Some women do not have this effect. You might want to try some olive or coconut oil, or a safe body lotion to lubricate the area.

If you haven’t been directed by the feelings in your body what to do, then may I suggest you start running one or two fingers over your clitoris repeatedly. You might like to try a circular motion on your clit with one or two fingers. Be patient. Nothing may happen. That’s OK, you can just enjoy whatever feelings that gives you.

Fantasy is a major component in most masturbation. It is OK to fantasize about any safe activity with any person. It may not be at all appropriate to act on those fantasies, but it is totally OK to let your mind wander to sexy situations.

Do your fantasies concern you? For instance, you may find yourself thinking about a girl or woman. Interest in women is called ‘lesbianism,’ ‘homosexuality,’ or ‘gay.’

As it turns out, everyone is on a bisexual spectrum. That means that no one is 100% straight (interested only in men), or gay (interested only in women). Oh, some people are very close to one end of the spectrum or another, and it’s all fine. Our positions on that spectrum can also vary over time.

As you continue to rub your clit and fantasize, you may have very delicious feelings. These are often described as chills that can happen anywhere in your body from head to toes, but are usually centered in the lower belly or genital region. You may feel like you are going to pee. Usually, that doesn’t happen.

Now, some women have quit at this point. The feelings scare them, so they stop the stimulation. That’s a shame. They are missing out on something very nice. We urge you to continue, and find out what happens. Let the feeling build. Suddenly, the chill may become one of the best feelings you’ve ever had in your life. At the same time, you may feel rhythmic contractions in your vagina or anal area. Just let it happen and enjoy. Congratulations, you’ve had your first orgasm!

Wasn’t as great as you expected? Sometimes that happens with your first few orgasms. As you become more relaxed, more used to the situation, they can build into something truly fantastic.

Some women will want to stop very soon after orgasming. Others want do do it repeatedly, having several orgasms in a row. There’s no telling which style is yours, and it really doesn’t matter.

Now that you are a wanker (masturbater), you might want to explore some variations.

Perhaps the most common variation is to insert your fingers or an object into your vagina. Whatever you use should be smooth and clean. Use some slippery cream or oil if you need additional lubrication. At first, don’t go in too deep, or use something too big around. There’s lots of time for careful exploration of the limits later. Avoid anything that’s dangerous such as wood that can splinter, light bulbs that can shatter, and so on. Avoid chemicals such as toothpaste, soap, or anything that can’t be removed. More than one woman has been taken to the emergency room because they put something in their vagina that they couldn’t get out.

Another very interesting erogenous place can be your anus. Erogenous means a place that if touched can feel sexual. You might start with a very light touch or stroking of your anal area with your fingertips. You might prefer to use rubber gloves if you are adverse to the possibility of getting some poop on your fingers.

You can also insert things is into the anus. You’ll want to clean everything you use afterward. The bacteria that live around the anus can set off an infection in the vaginal area. It’s uncommon, but this can range from an annoying itch, or an undesirable odor, to a serious sickness. So, keep things clean. As with the vagina, whatever you use, if not your fingers, should be small and smooth. Some women have been known to have orgasms just from anal stimulation.

Whether you are putting something into your vagina or anus, you may find it is very tight. This can happen to many women. The muscles can contract really hard. There is no need to force anything. Use lots of lube, and start with something thin. You don’t want something so thin or pointy that it could injure you, of course. Take your time. Relax. Breathe deep. If you can’t get it in today, you have all the rest of your life to work on it.

Can I masturbate with others?

Yes, you can, but there are some things you might like to know:

Masturbating by yourself is far and away the safest form of sex.

In this era of Covid-19, simply breathing near someone else can be dangerous. Plus, you could catch a cold or the flu without even touching anyone.


Covid-19

If you touch someone, the danger increases. You can end up with jock itch, crabs (little insects that live in body hair and are hard to get rid of), or monkeypox.

If you kiss, or do anything involving contact with the genitals, the danger increases yet again, including rather horrible skin diseases, and herpes, a life-long annoyance.

Finally, if you mix bodily fluids, or have any sort of sexual penetration, the risk is even higher. You could catch AIDS. Contrary to popular belief, AIDS is not just something that happens among gay men. That disease can be contracted by men or women and from men or women.

So, if you can be satisfied with solo masturbation, that’s your best bet. Unlike partner sex, you can masturbate when, where and how you want. You can do it absolutely your way, with no need to compromise.

However, if you do want to engage in mutual masturbation, you’re still safer than engaging in other sexual activities.

Mutual masturbation takes many forms, but the most common are:

0. Sharing and comparing. This is not masturbation at all, but you and your friends may like to look at each other naked, noticing breast and nipple size, vaginal shape, ass shape, and the amount of hair on your bodies.

1. Playing doctor. This is surprisingly common among young children. The adult version is to get naked with a friend or several friends, and pretend you are undergoing a medical exam or procedure that involves the genitals. With the youngsters, playing doctor is not necessarily masturbatory or even sexual. With adults, anything can happen!

2. You and one or more friends are near each other, possibly watching conversing while each person only touches themselves.

3. You masturbate your friend, and then your friend masturbates you. This way, you each get to enjoy the full feelings of being touched, without having to focus on satisfying the other person at the same time.


4. You get in a position where each is masturbating the other at the same time.

Assuming you have a brother, sister, cousin or friend who is interested, yet can respect your privacy by not blabbing to old-school people who could cause trouble, they can be your masturbation partner.

Quite often, mutual masturbation can include mouth-to-genital activities. Typically, this would be sucking on a penis, known as ‘blowjob’ or ‘fellatio,’ or licking a vagina, known as ‘going down on,’ ‘eating out,’ or ‘cunnilingus.’ This is more risky, and I’d really suggest avoiding anything oral. Since you can give and get delightful orgasms strictly with hands, there’s no need for anything more.

It is a bad idea to masturbate with anyone younger than 18 years old. You can get in legal trouble for being sexual with an underage person. Oddly, sexual activity, even if just mutual masturbation, between someone younger than 18, and someone older, can have unexpected lifelong psychological consequences.

If someone older wants to masturbate, or do anything sexual with you, and you don’t want it, you are well within your rights to say “No.” If that person bothers you continually, badgers you, tries to blackmail you, or physically forces you to get sexual in any way, that’s rape. If you feel this might happen, let a responsible authority know the details of your concern.

Just to be safe, I’d recommend washing your hands before and after mutual masturbation.

If you’re masturbating with a woman, you can do the same things to her that you enjoy. Remember, for most women, starting very gentle is best, and slowly working up to the intensity of stimulation she wants. She may really enjoy non-masturbatatory activity first, such as touching or massaging her whole body such as her arms, legs, back, neck, even her face and head.

If you’re masturbating with a man, you’ll find that they enjoy handjobs. You might start by very light touching of the scrotum, then the tip of the penis. He will become erect if he isn’t already, meaning his penis will harden and become larger. This does not hurt the man, and indicates he is experiencing a level of sexual expectation or pleasure. You can move your hand up and down on the loose skin of his penis. When men orgasm, semen shoots out of the end of their penis. Avoid getting that semen anywhere around your vagina, so you don’t end up having a baby.

Woman's Guide to Masturbation - Masturbating a Man

In general, men are more focused on their genitals. They like having their balls, dicks, and maybe their assholes stimulated directly, and aren’t as interested as women are in whole body experiences. Where as you might really enjoy having someone touching your sides, breasts, ass, back, neck, legs, arms and hands, touched, that usually has less effect on men.

The men will quite often start off too rough with you. It can be a real turn-off. Remind the man that women are different, they like to start with very gentle whole-body touching.

The men can also become insistent. They quite often want to violate common sense, and will try to talk you into intercourse. Let a man know in no uncertain terms, as early as you can, that you don’t want to take that risk, and that if he insists, everything good stops right away. If he doesn’t stop, it is rape, a very serious legal problem for him.

I shouldn’t even have to mention this, but if you find yourself in a situation where intercourse is going to happen, you’ll want to make sure to use a proper contraceptive. That’s something that will supposedly prevent pregnancy. Contraceptives are not perfect. They fail all too often.

The most common contraceptive is condoms, also known as ‘rubbers.’ These are thin rubber coverings that a man can unroll over his penis. That will (supposedly) keep his semen – containing his sperm – within the condom, and not let it into your vagina. A condom is not much help when it comes to crabs, herpes, and a variety of other diseases.


Woman's Guide to Masturbation, Applying a Condom
Applying a condom

What if I want to masturbate with a woman? Does that make me gay?

Not necessarily. Many women have had woman-to-woman experiences, yet they end up happily married to a man. Of course if you are gay, also known as ‘lesbian,’ that’s become much more acceptable in today’s society. There’s nothing morally wrong with lesbianism. The only problem you may run into is that there are people in our society who are very down on things they don’t understand, and may give you a hard time.

What’s the scoop on pornography?

Why do we watch porn?

  • Curious of what others have
  • Curious of what the other sex has
  • What is sex “really” like?
  • It’s exciting
  • We know it is naughty, this turns us on even more
  • Risk of getting caught is exciting even if it is scary
  • Helps me fantasize, turns me on, makes me really horny

Is porn real?

Much of porn is staged, faked. Some is totally real. It is very hard to tell the difference. The bottom line is that it is entertainment. Many of the porn actors are not typical. They may have overly large breasts or dicks, they may shoot out extraordinary amounts of semen, they may have amazing staying power before they orgasm, they may scream and yell and carry on, they may be especially good looking, and so on.

Some porn is very degrading to women. Those who consistently watch such porn could assume that all women love giving men blowjobs without reciprocation, that it’s OK to slap or hit women, and that it’s all about the man’s pleasure. That kind of porn should be totally avoided.

The better kind of porn portrays men and women as equals. She is entitled to as much pleasure as he is getting. He should treat her as kindly as she treats him. Together, they can explore some crazy and unusual things, but they do it together as partners.

There is also gay porn, porn involving many people, and the less common sexual activities such as anal sex, bondage, and playing with sex toys. This porn should follow along the same lines: Men and women should treat each other equally and with respect.

Porn addiction

Masturbation is not usually addictive. Pornography may be addictive. Here’s how you can tell that you’ve become addicted: If your lifestyle or relationships have changed, if you’re doing poorly at work or in school, or don’t have as much time for your friends and family, you may be addicted.

Most addictions are so difficult to overcome that you’ll need professional help. It may be difficult to bring it up with other responsible adults, but that’s the place to start. Addictions, whether eating disorders, drug use, or sexual disorders are not something to be ashamed of. They happen to millions of people. In fact, you can be very proud that you’re seeking help.

What happens after an orgasm?

A variety of thing can happen. Not all of these will happen to you although some of these may happen sometimes:

1. You may cry. This isn’t necessary sad or happy crying. It’s just something that can happen after an orgasm.

2. You may immediately want another orgasm.

3. You may not want an orgasm, or to do anything sexual, for anywhere from a few minutes, to many days.

4. You may have mild pain or itching. That will go away soon. If in the very rare circumstance you feel great pain, you may need to see a doctor.

5. You may feel guilty. This is unfortunately common. It’s due to the influence on you from all the old-school misinformation still hanging around that masturbation is supposedly bad.

6. You may feel weak or tired. This can happen after your first orgasms. If it happens later on, you might want to look at other lifestyle issues. Perhaps you’re stressed, not getting enough sleep, or not eating a fully nutritious diet.

What if something isn’t quite right?

As human beings, we tend to worry about things. 99% of the things we worry about turn out to be nothing. Sexual matters tend to be worse, because we are reluctant to discuss them with our friends, family members, doctors, or any other adult.

If you have a concern, communication is the best approach. Most of the time, when you express your worry, it can put your worries to bed. For instance, when my mother had her first period, and blood came out, she was convinced she was going to die. She reluctantly told her mother about it, who assured her that it was entirely normal. You may have other concerns, perhaps a discharge, an itch, or a concern that you have caused damage due to an usual masturbation technique. Let a medical professional if needed, assure you that you’re OK. It’s worth discussing, because it will take a load off your mind.

What if I need to see a doctor?

Woman's Guide to Masturbation - Medical Issues

Doctors are there to help you, not to hurt you.

They see breasts, vaginas and anuses every single day, they will not have any sexual charge, or any concern about seeing yours. They will maintain your privacy while being examined. Only the doctor, possibly a chaperone, and anyone who you specifically allow will be present while you’re examined.

Doctors cannot tell, and don’t care if you have masturbated.

Doctors masturbate as well.

We mentioned misinformation once or twice. Here are some common misbeliefs:

  • I will lose my eyesight.
  • God will chop my hands off.
  • Masturbation makes me bald, sick, hair on my palms.
  • Bad for my health.
  • Stunts my growth.
  • Stops my breasts growing.
  • Affects puberty.
  • My parents can smell if I have masturbated.

Are there unsafe masturbation practices?

Yes, totally.

  • Your urethra (peehole) is very susceptible to infection. It is best not to stick anything into the urethra. If you must do so, make sure the object is sterile and smooth. The urethral walls can tear easily, and bleed profusely.
  • It is possible to put something in your anus or vagina that you can’t remove. Things with sharp edges are especially problematic for obvious reasons. If you must put big things in, make sure a string is firmly attached so you can pull it back out. Better yet, don’t put big things in there.
  • Any sort of exchange of bodily fluids with another person could cause you a lifetime of illness.
  • There is no need to combine masturbation with use of drugs, alcohol, or dangerous practices such as cutting. Masturbation by itself is totally enjoyable.
  • When it comes to mutual masturbation or other forms of two-person sex, be very careful who you associate with. Some people are terribly abusive.
  • Keep your masturbation private. In the heat of the moment, you may let someone participate who will blab all over over town, or worse, post your pictures or video on the Internet. You can never undo that.

So, what are some safe masturbation practices?

  • Add peeing into your masturbation practice. Playing with peeing is often called ‘watersports.’
  • Masturbate outdoors in a safe and secluded space.
  • Lay on one or more pillows, and rub against them, called pillow humping.
  • Edging. This is the idea of getting close to orgasm, but putting it off for as long as you can.
  • Masturbate on webcam, but only with a trusted friend. Do not keep recordings of your masturbatory times. It is best not to show your face on webcam.
  • Expand your fantasy life while masturbating.
  • Medibation is the combination of meditation and masturbation. It can take any form you wish from mindful masturbation, to letting your mind be as clear as you can while masturbating.
  • It is possible to read, listen to music, watch videos, and even study or work on a computer while masturbating.

An Extremely Enjoyable Homework Assignment for Women

Female masturbation homework assignment

I’d like to propose the following homework assignment.

You can complete this assignment by yourself, or with friends, family, or coworkers, assuming they’re onboard with masturbating together.

Here’s your assignment:

1. Get naked and comfortable in your usual way.

2. Start masturbating.

3. Try your best not to have a full-blown, pulsating orgasm.

4. Instead, feel the chills starting to develop through your body.

5. Masturbate just a little. That may mean more lightly, more slowly, or stimulating a different part of your body. The objective is to stay in the stage where you’re feeling an ongoing chill that can become super-strong, but you don’t go over an edge that would result in full orgasm.

6. Understand that you may not have a breakthrough right away. Keep practicing. The assignment doesn’t necessarily end with one attempt. It could take a while before you get the special effect. Some women have worked on this technique for literally years, extending the length of time, and the intensity of the chills. As you gain experience, you may discover that the pre-orgasmic chills become more intense than full orgasms. They can certainly last longer.

7. Once you master the technique, you can discuss it, maybe even demonstrate it to other people, and you’ll be promoting the many physical and mental health benefits of masturbation.

Parents’ Guide to Masturbation

Children will play with their genitals from the earliest age. This should not be discouraged. Instead, it should be discussed and directed. Children should be guided to healthy attitudes about masturbation and sex.

People are just waking up to how badly children were treated in the past. For instance, some babies were tied into cribs with their arms inserted into cardboard carpet tubes, so they couldn’t reach their own genitals.

A Dr. Harvey Kellogg put silver wire sutures into boy’s penises so that erections would be impossible without great pain. Yes, this is the same guy who, along with his brother, invented corn flakes. The reason for corn flakes as a food was that they would supposedly somewhat sedate the kids, so they’d be less likely to masturbate.

What’s normal at an early age?

As soon as babies are old enough to reach out and touch anything, they are likely to be fascinated by their own genitals. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s natural and has been going on for thousands of years.

Boys will have erections. This can happen so early that erections have been seen in ultrasounds of the womb. To boys before adolescence, these erections have little meaning. For them, there is little or no sexual meaning to the erection. The boys may find their erections momentarily interesting, but that’s all. It’s not uncommon for a boy to say, “Look, Mom,” while pointing at his erect little willy.

Many boys will get an erection when they need to pee due to the pressure on the nerves controlling the bladder. This may mean that they pull at their penises and may also do when they are nervous, tired, or just in need of emotional support or something to do. They do feel pleasure from this, but it can’t really be called masturbation.

Little girls may stick their fingers into their vaginas and enjoy the feeling. That doesn’t mean anything sexual. They just find it interesting and enjoyable. Not much different than using their fingers to explore an ear.

It used to be assumed that most girls were virgins, meaning they had intact hymens over their vaginal canals until their first sexual intercourse. It turns out that many girls do not have intact hymens from an early age due to an assortment of activities such as bike or horseback riding, acrobatics, or tree climbing, but also masturbation with objects. Yes, many girls will do this from a young age.

Parent's Guide to Masturbation - Hymen

How do you keep your kids from touching themselves in public?

This is done in the same way that you teach them to stay clothed, not lose their shoes, not pick their noses, and brush their teeth. Lots of gentle repetition of rules.

The most important thing is that they are not being told off, admonished, and disciplined. The rules with respect to touching themselves are that it is fine to do it, but it is something we can do in the privacy of our own bedrooms and not in public.

Sexual Awakening

Starting before or during adolescence, most children will start to take an interest in sexuality. They generally don’t do much to act on it, but they start having sexual thoughts, and may start playing in more focused ways with their genitals.

For better or worse, the Internet plays a big role in sexual awakening these days. The kids find ways to see adult material on the web. It’s not hard to do. Any child can access Wikipedia, and learn a lot, even about deviant sexual practices. That’s why this website isn’t heavily restricted. Youngsters will find a way to get in to all kinds of crazy porn sites, and if they’re going to do that, then at least here, they’ll find accurate and important information.

So, you ought to be prepared for some questions you might find quite awkward.

How do you handle questions from your kids?

Handle sexual questions just like you’d respond to anything else: Truthfully, and as completely as makes sense in the context. Otherwise you can cause confusion that can have long-term psychological consequences.

You might enjoy this true story of a poorly answered question:

A six-year-old girl noticed a construction crew on the street in front of her house. Fascinated, she ran out to the curb to watch the men at work. One of the men felt she got too close, and he flicked her the bird and scowled. You know, he elevated his middle finger at her.

She ran back inside, and asked her mom what that meant, showing her the same gesture.

“It’s about getting pregnant, dear.” The mother then resumed her cooking giving the child no more attention.

Over the next few days, the little girl gave it a whole lot of thought and became terribly worried, thinking, “I can’t get pregnant. I don’t know anything about taking care of a baby.”

Basically, she freaked out.

Fast forward forty years, and this girl, now a woman, had one failed marriage, and never dated since. She literally couldn’t look men in the eye.

In a successful NLP session (Neuro-Linguistic Programming, much like psychology), the woman was brought back to that long-forgotten memory, and it was discovered that it had unconsciously affected her all these many years later. After she became aware of what was happening, she was able go to out dancing with men that very weekend.

Not all adults work these problems out so easily and so well. In fact, many live their entire lives with phobias, deviant or addictive behaviors, stress disorders, and other complications.

That’s why we don’t molest kids. Even seemingly simple acts can have life-long negative consequences.

Here are some examples of how to handle awkward questions:

Child: “What’s a hardon?”

Parent: “That’s when a man’s penis gets larger and harder. It’s often called an ‘erection.’

Child: “Jamie called me a faggot. What does that mean?”

Parent: “It’s a term to describe someone who loves people of the same sex. You might see two men together, or two women together. They may kiss and everything else. When Jamie calls you that, he is trying to make you mad. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. If he keeps doing it, let me know, OK?”

Child: “Why does it feel nice when I wipe the pee from my vagina?”

Parent: “You have a lot of nerve endings there.”

Child: “How come my sister is getting boobs?”

Parent: “She may have babies someday. Women feed babies milk that’s formed in their breasts.”

Child: “I saw my brother rubbing his penis, which was really huge, and then some white stuff spurted out.”

Parent: “Yeah, that’s called ‘masturbation’ or ‘jerking off.’ It feels nice. As you get older, you may want to do that also. It’s like practicing for when he’ll be married. When that white stuff goes in a woman, it can help her make babies.”

Child: “Sandra said that Professor Dumbledore’s arm turned black because he was wanking. What does that mean?”

Parent: “Wanking is a boy touching his penis. Sandra may believe that, but it’s not true.”

The day will come when your children will start masturbating in earnest. Typically, you won’t know anything about it, but there may be hints. Your kid may stay in her room with the door closed for long periods of time. Your son’s blanket may start getting crusty. Give them their privacy.

Some parents will even give their children locks for their doors. This is good and bad. It lets the kids know that you know, and it’s OK to masturbate in their rooms. If they don’t figure that out on their own, you might come right out and say, “If you feel like masturbating in the privacy of your room, that’s just fine. I did it when I was your age.”

The downside of providing locks is a safety issue. You’d want to know if there was a fire or medical emergency, you wouldn’t have a locked door standing between your child and the that help the child may need.

If you can manage to talk calmly with your children about masturbation, it will have the added benefit that anything else that needs to be communicated with your children will be easier for them to bring up. I mean, you’d want to know if your child is having trouble with math, is being bullied, is confused about spirituality, is having suicidal thoughts, has been introduced to drugs, and so on, right? They’ll be much more open about this, if they haven’t felt a need to hide anything, even masturbation, from you.

What if you discover your child masturbating?

Stay calm for the child’s sake. Just let the kid know that you understand, you masturbate also, but that it should be as much a private activity as possible.

What if your child starts exhibiting deviant behavior?

Perhaps your child spends a lot of time spying on a sibling trying to see him or her naked. Perhaps your child tries to make a show of being nude in the house or publicly masturbating. Perhaps your child is doing something dangerous, such as sticking objects into a peehole.

First and foremost. Don’t freak out. Most children have deviations from time to time. However, gentle conversation and guidance is the best solution. If the behavior doesn’t straighten out, you might like to find a proper professional, such as a child psychologist. Please understand that some professionals such as clergy, pediatricians, or school personnel don’t have the necessary training to help and could make things worse.

As to sexuality, your child is likely to grow into a normal, healthy adult. The bigger concerns you should watch for are inappropriate peer influence, drug use, trouble with schoolwork, or narcissistic tendencies.

Five Minutes

New masturbation technique - continuous orgasm lasting over 5 minutes

So, last night, as my wife lay sleeping, I woke up around 3am. That happens sometimes, and when it does, I have trouble getting back to sleep. Therefore, I usually get up and do something, such as writing posts for my website.

But last night, I just stayed in bed and started touching my cock to get it hard. Then I started masturbating, and as is my practice of the last ten years or so, I bring myself to a light ongoing orgasmic state, but don’t ejaculate. Now that I’m practiced, I can stay in a heavy orgasmic state, complete with occasional contractions of the urethra, for over five minutes.

That may not sound like much to you, but just try counting out sixty seconds, and imagine yourself in continuous orgasm for five times that long.

I had an idea, and since I wasn’t sleepy, I grabbed my phone and went into the living room. I reclined on the sofa, and set up the stopwatch function on my phone.

I started wanking, and since I had recently been in orgasm for a while, and hadn’t ejaculated, it didn’t take but a moment to get hard again and then start in on orgasm. I started the stopwatch.

I kept wanking, but varying the speed of stroking from zero to several strokes per second, depending on the level of my orgasm. If I thought I might accidentally ejaculate, I slowed down. If the feeling was starting to subside, I picked up the pace.

I should describe the feeling. Of course you know what an orgasm feels like, but when you extend it way out like this, it’s somewhat different, and dare I say, even more enjoyable. It’s a chill that mostly affects the genital region, but sometimes I also feel it in my stomach, my neck, and even the top of my head. Strange, but true, I know. It’s more than a remarkable chill. I call it ‘springs and chills.’

Until now, I had just assumed I could stay in orgasm for 5 minutes. I never actually timed it. On this occasion, according to the stopwatch, I finally fell off, without ejaculating, after 5 minutes and ten seconds.

Do you want to learn to do the same thing? It’s fairly easy, and I believe any man or woman can learn it. Perhaps it’s easier for some women, because they don’t actually ejaculate, and many women can have several orgasms in a single session. When a man ejaculates, his mood generally shifts so that he doesn’t want any more stimulation.

Whether you are a man or a woman, here’s what you do:

1. Become sexually aroused.

2. Get close to having an orgasm, then back off.

3. But back off only for a moment, and maybe not completely. In other words, you might want to maintain light stroking, as long as it won’t drive you over the edge of an ejaculation, or a crashing orgasm if you’re a woman.

4. Really concentrate on what you’re feeling in your body. After a while you can get the chills, and maintain that state by backing off if you’re too close to ejaculating, and ramp up the stimulation if you’re starting to fall off. Soon, you can stay in the chills state for ever-longer periods of time.

You may not think this is an ‘orgasm’ because you’re not ejaculating, or not pulsating, but it is truly orgasm. You’re feeling the chills, right? And if you’re more experienced, you’re getting occasional contractions.

I’ve been in this orgasmic state to where it’s actually stronger and more delightful than an ejaculatory orgasm.

When I am finally done, it’s often because I’ve lost interest, and never did ejaculate. Now, some guys may have trouble believing this, but even though I don’t always ‘cum’ I feel totally satisfied.

Maybe you can’t believe any of this. All I can say is you need to try it for yourself. Patience may be required. You may think it’s fiction until the day you actually find yourself in a continuous dry orgasm.

Create Your Own Story

Hi Folks! Jeremy and I would love to hear your stories. Please write a story in the comment area below, or you can send direct to me using jenelle@sex270.com.

You do not need to identify yourself but you can if you wish. Your story can be a true memoir, how-to information, fiction, or whatever you want. It would be great if you could let us know whether it’s true or fiction, however. It can be from any perspective.

The length can be anything from a sentence to a complete ebook.

If you’d like to include video or pictures, that would be great. Email them to us.

Please don’t send any copyrighted material unless you are the owner.

Let us know whether it is OK or not to edit your story.

We can’t pay anything for your submissions, and do not guarantee to publish every one, but we’ll do our best to publish anything that’s of reasonable quality.

Family Masturbation Night

Family Masturbation Night

I believe I’m a typical 19-year-old girl. I used to think my family was normal. Maybe my parents are a bit more open, more hippie-like than others, so I guess it’s no surprise what happened.

It started with my brother Jim, who is one year older than me. Like me, he’s going to the local college. It’s not so we can save money. My parents are fairly loaded. It’s more because our family has always been close. For us, there’s no advantage in going away to dorm living.

We were sitting around the dinner table one night, which is typical for our family. I used to resent that we don’t have a big-screen TV. In fact, we don’t have a TV at all. Instead, we talk about things. Led by our parents, or grandparents, or sometimes even our gardener Jose, who has become part of the family, the discussion may be about oceanography, French, or US history. Or, maybe more mundane things, like masturbation.

In a quiet moment, Jim announced, “I’ve been learning to have dry orgasms.” He said it as matter-of-factly as if he had said, “I have a stamp collection.”

My mother took the bait. “Dry orgasms?”

My father jumped in, “Are you saying you can orgasm without ejaculating?”

“Yup,” was Jim’s very simple answer.

“Gosh, I’ve always wanted to learn that,” my father replied. “Do you really have it mastered (pardon the pun)? Was it easy to learn?”

“Actually, once you learn a couple of simple things, then practice a bit, it’s super-easy. And, well worth the effort, I might add,” Jim answered with a smile.

“Will you teach me?” Dad asked.

“Sure.”

“Me too,” Jose piped in. “I’d love to learn that.”

I wasn’t very sexual back then, and so couldn’t believe my ears. I mean, yes, our family is liberal, but this was to a whole new level.

My sister, Amy, asked, “What about us girls? Is it something we could learn? Might it be good for us, too?”

My brother affirmed that he thought she could learn it. He figured that separating orgasms and ejaculations in girls is meaningless, but the end result, the continuous orgasms, would be great for her.

My father, in his usual authoritarian way added, “I suppose like all masturbatory practices, it would have benefits. I mean, if masturbation helps with focus, and physical health and mental stability, then more masturbation would be better, right?”

Wouldn’t it be like meditation, but even more beneficial?” Jose wondered.

There were murmurs of assent around the dining table. That’s when my mother blew us away with the following suggestion: “Maybe Jim can show us all his new technique.”

Personally, if I was Jim, I would have turned red in the face, and been all embarrassed. Not Jim. He just said, “Sure,” as casually as if he was going to show us a new way to grip a tennis racket.

There was a moment of silence, then Mom said, “Well, how about now? Is anyone doing anything?”

We agreed this would be a good time, and all of us, including Jose, Grandpa and Grandma reconvened in the living room. Even I, asexual though I though I was at the time, became fascinated.

Sitting on various chairs and sofas in our big living room, we were all clothed. As if he were in his own bedroom, Jim disrobed. Right down to nothing! Perhaps I shouldn’t have been surprised. I mean, I’ve seen everyone nude at one point or another. But it wasn’t very often, and generally nothing special, like passing in the hallway on the way to the shower.

But this evening had a strong sexual component to it. You could feel it in the air, or at least I could. I could feel it elsewhere too, which surprised me. You know, that heightened awareness you get, the springs and pings in your vagina, your lower stomach, maybe even in your arms, legs and the top of your head? I was feeling that.

There was something else. Where was the hair? I was looking right at Jim’s crotch, and there should have been a mass of black curly hair, like I have. He was as smooth as a baby’s bottom.

“Oh, you shave!” Mom quipped with a touch of delight.

“Sure, lots of guys do these days,” Jim said.

Jim sat back down in an easy chair, in a very slouched forward position, and started fingering his scrotum. Not his penis, which surprised me. In a couple of moments, his penis rose to attention, sticking straight up out of his lap. He was evidently enjoying the attention from the whole family. I, personally, would have been mortified to be in his position.

Then, like a professor, he started in on a lecture, “Of course I had to become erect. So now, I’ll start stroking my cock. Um, sorry, ‘penis.'”

Oh, you can say ‘cock’ my dad quickly added. We won’t be offended by ‘real’ words.

Jim continued, explaining about edging, something I had never heard about until then. It sounded like something I had done a few times, but now, I’d certainly be edging more seriously. The idea that one brings themselves to the point of orgasm, then backs off. Then he revealed the magic trick.

“The thing is, you stop the stimulation for only a second. Maybe even just reduce, not stopping entirely. You don’t want the pre-orgasmic feeling to die entirely away. Then resume, paying very careful attention to how you feel. When you get it right, you can approach orgasm, keep up the stimulation, and literally enter and stay in orgasm for minutes at a time. You can also do it over and over again, without losing arousal.

“When I first started, these orgasms were like 70 percent as strong as full ejaculations, but nothing was coming out. That in itself was fantastic, because right from the beginning I could have several orgasms, a huge improvement over just cumming and being done. But since then, I’ve been able to make the dry orgasms stronger than ejaculations. Then, in the end, perhaps after an hour or so, I may be so satisfied that I don’t even need to ejaculate. Or, I may go ahead and have a crashing, super-strong ejaculatory orgasm.”

As he was telling us all this, he was evidently experiencing exactly what he was talking about. Periodically, he’d pause, arch his back or curl his toes, and say a little something like, “ooh, ” or “ummm!”

Grandpa asked, “How do we know you’re not just making this up? Faking it?”

“Well, here, Grandpa. Come over here, and put your fingertips right here under my balls, just ahead of my anus.”

Grandpa scooted over and did just as Jim instructed. After holding his fingers there for a moment, he said, “Oh my god! He’s right. I feel his urethra contracting.”

One by one, the family came over to Jim, and placed their fingertips where he instructed, and they all felt the contractions.

I couldn’t wait for my turn. Why this had me so excited, I have no idea. I mean, it was only my brother Jim after all, demonstrating a technique. No big deal, right? Yet my heart was racing, and my vagina was so wet that I was worried it would show through my shorts.

I placed my fingers on his taint. At first, I was just a bit low, and pressed my finger right onto his anus. He just said, “A little higher.” But to me, to touch his asshole like that, was like an electric shock.

It must have been for him also because suddenly, as I was feeling his urethral contractions, he grunted, and quietly said, “Oh, no…” With that, he arched up, and started ejaculating all over his lower belly.

I realized it was my finger on his anus that triggered it. I was also fascinated. What a spectacular show! I just knew that I’d be masturbating big time in my bedroom within a few minutes.

At that moment, Mom announced, “Let’s practice,” pulling down her pants as she spoke.

As if the evening wasn’t already as weird as it could get! Within moments, every single one of us, even Grandma was bare-ass naked, and jerking off in our living room.

Like a great instructor, Jim was going from one random family member to another watching intently, and offering little bits of advice. Like, “Don’t get quite so close yet, Dad.” and “Amy, once you get to the point, back off, and just see if you can feel the orgasming being an ongoing phenomenon.”

In answer to a question from Jose, he added, “One interesting point about this is once you learn it, it’s as if your body wants to help. It becomes quite easy to simply stay in orgasm for longer periods of time, or to have orgasm after orgasm every minute or two.”

Grandpa got it that very first evening. Grandma smiled big, but I don’t know what she experienced. Dad said he may have been ‘on the edge for a bit,’ but would have to practice more. Amy said she thought she already knew the general idea, and had had multiple orgasms in the past, but doing it for real was much better. Evidently, she got it that first evening also.

I happened to be watching as Jose was smiling serenely, and kind of jerking and grunting. He obviously got the basics right away. But a moment later, white cum shot out of his dick.

Mom, just kept saying, “This is so great!” She said it like six times. It was weird seeing her running her fingers in little circles in that dark patch. Sometimes, I could see flashes of pink. To think, I came out of there!

I was the last to take off my clothes, hesitating a moment after the others were all naked. Even though I was having all sorts of horniness, I was still… I don’t know, shy, reluctant? I kind of didn’t want them to see how big my boobs were. But I’ll tell you what: Once I was naked with my family and started masturbating, I was a convert. A huge convert! I didn’t have any ongoing or long-lasting orgasms that evening. I just couldn’t hold back, and came almost right away.

So, that was our first Wednesday evening family wank session. We’ve done it every Wednesday since. Sometimes someone won’t be there. Grandma sometimes goes to a card game with her lady friends, but not very often. Dad sometimes has to work late, but he rushes home, usually making it in time to grab the last bite of dinner and join us. Sometimes one or another of us is not in the mood. Like, on occasion, Dad, or Grandpa or Jim or Jose just can’t get it up. I have attended every single session, and am having the time of my life. Oh, yes, I learned the technique!

Homework – Male or Female, Light Chills

Masturbation Homework, Male or Female

Try this new thing. I think it will delight you.

Here’s your homework assignment:

Being a guy, I know this works for men. Women can certainly try it too. My suspicion is it will have the same effect.

Now, maybe you can’t do it. Or, maybe you can. It’s worth a try in any case.

1. Get horny however you do it. Maybe watch your mate take a shower, look at some porn, think crazy thoughts.

2. Get naked and in a comfortable position. Whatever works for you. Could be laying on your bed, standing, or in your recliner.

3. Start rubbing your penis (or vagina until you notice a sort of chill throughout your body.

4. Some men may have trouble noticing this effect. They want to go straight through to ejaculation. Resist the temptation. This will be worth it. You can cum later. In fact, when you do cum, it could be twice as strong as normal.

5. So, take your time, be on the lookout for chills, and wank until you feel something. If you feel like you could orgasm, back off. But don’t wait long. Only a second or two, so you don’t lose the chill effect entirely.

6. Resume wanking. Maybe stroke slowly and lightly. Come back to the state where you feel the chills, but don’t exceed that point.

In time, with practice, you can feel the most delicious, ongoing chill, something I call ‘low orgasm’ and it can last a very long time. Literally minutes. If you fall back down, you can get it back with a little more rubbing. A little more sexual thinking. It might help to very lightly rub something erogenous with your other hand. Perhaps your anus or a nipple.

That’s it. When the time is right, you can let yourself have a crashing orgasm.

Jewish Masturbation

Masturbation and the Jewish Religion

I imagine God to be an older man with a long beard, not unlike our Rabbi. Of course, I know that’s not logical. I have no idea what God really looks like. But all of that is beside the point.

I often ask God for guidance, and I’m pretty sure that’s what I’ve been getting. He speaks to me most clearly when I masturbate. So, here’s what I’ll do: I’ll ponder a decision as I get naked and jerk off.

If the decision I’m trying to make is wrong, it takes me a long time to cum. If it’s a really bad decision, I can’t manage an orgasm at all. If I’m on the right track, I ejaculate right away.

That, to the best of my knowledge, is God speaking to me. Recently, before starting a wank session, I asked God the obvious question: Is wanking a good thing? Because, I’ve heard all sides to that story. I was tending to believe it’s just fine, but you hear everything from it reduces your strength to you can grow hair on your palms. On the other side of the coin, I saw a website (sex270.com) that listed 18 benefits of masturbation from better socialization to reduced blood pressure.

So I asked God, and I came right away. Pushing my luck to the extreme, I then asked, “Should I become a spokesman for this idea?” I mean, should I advocate masturbation, since it is good for people?

I had just ejaculated, so the likelihood of getting a positive answer was greatly reduced. Yet, oddly, I stayed hard, and did indeed ejaculate a second time, something that’s very rare for me. Perhaps it helped that I was thinking about Esther Feldman, the sexiest girl in the whole temple.

I had a calling! I was to become an advocate for masturbation! Toward the end of high school, I was trying very hard to figure out what to study. Now I knew. I’d study psychology, and become a psychologist specializing in sexuality, and from that platform I could push masturbation. It was a great relief knowing the direction my future was to take. I wasn’t the least worried about my decision. After all, God spoke to me quite clearly.

After Hebrew school one afternoon, I had a chance to speak with Rabbi. He’s a great man, but he always has time to listen. I told him about the whole thing – that my calling was to be a masturbation advocate, how God spoke to me through masturbation, and so on.

I was a bit embarrassed to bring that all up, but my parents, and the rabbi, have taught me to be honest, and to speak my mind when appropriate.

I think Rabbi Horowitz smiled a bit, but he quickly moved his sleeve to his beard, so I couldn’t see. He then told me,

“Jacob, you are a great thinker, and should be admired for it. Whatever career path you choose will be right for you. The one thing I’d recommend is to give serious thought to this idea of being a masturbation advocate. There are people in our society, and I mean wider than the Jewish community. I mean, in the whole world, there are some people who are violently opposed to masturbation. It’s crazy, I know, but these people exist, and they could hurt you. They could damage your reputation, maybe even cause physical harm.”

That’s all he said. So, now, I’m in law school. Someone else is going to have to tackle the masturbation issue.

Female Continuous

Female continuous orgasm technique

“It seems kind of weird having you, and older gentleman, sitting there watching.”

“Thank you for saying ‘older gentleman,’ rather than ‘old guy,’ or ‘old fart.’ I’m actually sixty-seven.”

“Well, anyway, you’re just going to sit there, fully clothed, while I’m fully naked, and watch me jilling myself?”

“Yes, and coach you, too.”

They talked a bit more, as she, at first sheepishly, somewhat embarrassed, started masturbating, and the older fellow told her exactly what to do.

“Now, remember, the hardest part is to stop before you go into full orgasm. Try to hold that state. Notice the chills, and whatever else may be going on in your body.”

“Oh, my….” she said, as her muscles tensed, and stayed tensed.

“I’m getting it. Oh, yes, I’m getting it.”

“Just stay in the feeling, being really careful not to go too deep into orgasm.”

“You mean, I’m in orgasm now, right?”

“Do you feel chills? A sort of springiness? Something deep in your belly, perhaps?”

“Yes, all those things. Plus, I’m feeling it big-time in my clit.”

“Great, you are indeed in ongoing continuous orgasm.”

“Oh, it’s slipping away.”

“Don’t worry, your body has already learned what you want. It will help you. As your body catches on, it won’t be at all difficult to stay in the state. Bring yourself back up to orgasm, and enjoy every feeling along the way.”

“OK.”

After a couple of minutes…

“Oh! Ah! Here it is again. This is amazing! I’ve had multiple orgasms before, but never just stayed in orgasm. Oh my God! Now I’m getting the pulsing contractions too, but they just keep going!”

“By gosh, you got it on the first try. Many women, and men, have to practice quite a bit before they get to continuous orgasm.”

“Ooooo…”

“Enjoy. Just let it do what it will. Be natural.”

After a few more minutes…

“Whew! That was so amazing! Say, do you ever get naked and masturbate along with your clients?”

“Yes, sometimes, when I’m invited.”

“You know, I could do it some more, and yes, you’re invited!”

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