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The Masturbate-A-Thon

World’s Greatest Naked Party

by Jeremy J. Watson

Your author attended the world’s greatest party, and it was probably nothing like what you may be thinking. There were no drugs, and no alcohol. It wasn’t an orgy. There was some music, but that wasn’t the focus. Instead, it was 120 people who got naked and masturbated together for charity.

How It All Started

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Once a year, the Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco hosts a big party in which more than a hundred men and women, mostly strangers, of all ages and from all walks of life, come together and masturbate. One year, I attended. The sexual energy in the room was super-high, yet it was the safest group sex imaginable. It was without a doubt the best party I’ve ever attended. I’ll tell you all about it – the people who were there, what they said, what they did, even down to the ways they actually masturbated. Some were quite unique!

You might like to know how such a party came about. So, let’s start with the history of the Masturbate-A-Thon.

Back in 1994, U.S. Attorney General Dr. Joycelin Elders was asked at a United Nations conference on AIDS whether it would be appropriate to promote masturbation as a means of preventing young people from engaging in riskier forms of sexual activity. She said, “I think that it is part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught.”

That’s all. Seeming innocuous, right? Well, many people got all in a twist about that, including President Clinton, who promptly fired her. To be fair, she had made other slightly controversial statements in the past. The administration must have felt that talking about masturbation in any way, shape or form made her a loose cannon.

So now, she’s a professor of pediatrics, and most of the modern world continues to teach only very limited abstinence-only sex education, never giving young people the whole picture. And that’s even in light of the many studies that have proven time and again that abstinence-only is not working.

People will be sexual in one form or another. Doesn’t it make sense then, to de-stigmatize masturbation? If people can be taught that it is OK, it would certainly cut down on riskier sexual behavior. Don’t you think?

Dr. Joycelin Elders, Masturbate-a-thon

Dr. Joycelin Elders

Meanwhile, Dr. Elders accepts occasional speaking engagements about how our country, in fact the whole world, needs more well-rounded sex education.

When you think about it, she’s right, isn’t she? Isn’t masturbation a pretty good solution to many problems?

First, if people could be allowed to feel that masturbation is OK, then they might be able to relieve their sexual tensions, resulting in everything from less awkward social conversations (because we all get weird when we’re too horny), to reduction of unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

Fortunately, we are already in an age where masturbation has become a bit more mainstream. In the past, even though almost everyone engaged in it, we were all ashamed and quite often feeling guilty. To cover these emotions, many people would perpetuate the myth that masturbation is somehow a ‘bad’ thing.

For the longest time, if you were to ask practically anyone whether they engaged in masturbation, they’d universally answer “No!” even though they secretly masturbated all the time.

They punished their kids for masturbating, sometimes severely.

Some babies had their arms tied in cardboard carpet tubes so they wouldn’t touch their own genitals. You’ve probably heard that Kellog’s Corn Flakes was invented as a food that was supposed to reduce children’s interest in masturbation.

And yet, masturbation sessions eliminate social tension and unwanted pregnancies. Go figure! Furthermore, masturbation makes real sex, when it does occur, better. People know more about themselves. What feels good, what they want. And they learn to prevent premature ejaculation.

If that isn’t enough, a study done in 2003 indicates that men who masturbate several times a week have a lower incidence of prostate cancer.

Although your author can’t prove it, I believe masturbation also increases vitality and mental clarity.

But many people, maybe even most people, still feel guilty about it. Crazy stuff!

About a year after the US Surgeon General got canned, the the San Francisco-based nonprofit Center for Sex and Culture declared May as Masturbation Month, partly in response to what happened to Dr. Elders for speaking out about it.

Nothing much happened that year. A bit of publicity. A bit of smirking news coverage. But it set some quiet wheels in motion. In the next couple of years, the Center for Sex and Culture received more funding, and started having events – classes, workshops and parties celebrating positive sexuality. The primary goal: Let people get a balanced and educated knowledge of good sexuality, not the half-knowledge that exists in much of the world today.

Over the next few years, the Center’s range of activities grew. One year someone mentioned, “Wouldn’t it be something if there was a ‘masturbate-a-thon’ just like there are walk-a-thons?” The thread quickly became a major topic among some erudite individuals including Dr. Carol Queen, and Dr. Richard Lawrence. They are psychologists who specialize in sexual study and education.



Dr. Carol Queen

Photo credit: John L

We don’t know exactly how the idea evolved in the offices of the Center for Sex and Culture, but it probably went something like this:

“Just like a walk-a-thon, people could have their friends, family and co-workers sign pledge forms. Except, instead of paying a certain amount per mile, it could be per orgasm.”

“Or, per minute.”

“Oh, right, that would be much easier to monitor.”

“Or, they could just pledge a flat rate.”

“Sure, that could work, too.”

“Imagine the positive publicity.” In the process of getting people to pledge, our volunteers would be bringing the topic of masturbation out in the open. They’d be legitimizing something that has been badly and inappropriately stigmatized for so long.”

“Now, you’re preaching to the choir.”

“Yes, but you see what I mean, right? This would be an excellent grass roots way to spread the word. To start meaningful conversations about masturbation.”

“For sure.”

“So, how would this work, exactly?”

“Well, hmm. I suppose we could pick a date. Like May 25. Everyone gets pledges until that day. Then they go home, wank, tell their plegees what they accomplished (laughs), collect the money, and mail it to us.”

“Yah, like who’s going to do that? I mean, sure they may talk about it, the people may pledge, and the people will go home and masturbate, but then what? Do you think we’ll actually get some money?”

“Even if we didn’t get a penny, we’d be doing a lot to spread the message that masturbation isn’t a ‘bad’ thing, but actually a ‘good’ thing.

“Hey, I’ve got an idea. We have this building, and for that matter, we can rent bigger buildings.”

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Right, we hold an actual public event. People could come to a party-like event on May 25th or whatever, and we all jerk off together. A bunch of strangers in the room, wanking. What publicity that would bring! And what a positive event for those who have always wanted to masturbate among others in a safe environment.”

“We could do that, but do we dare?”

“People are becoming more enlightened, but would the public be ready for this?”

“Well, I’m thinking that all of San Francisco wouldn’t participate, at least not the first year. But certainly some people would.”

“I’m thinking, what if we combine both ideas? Everyone can get pledges. Some can wank at home. That would be the people who are just to shy to jerk off in public. But those with more exhibitionist tendencies could come to our group meeting.”

“What about entertainment? Celebrities? I know Nina Hartley. She was a huge porn star about 20 years ago. Now she’s authoring sex-positive books. I’ll bet she’d come to this. Maybe even be a headliner. Maybe even help with promotion.”



Nina Hartley, photo credit: dirtybob@dirtybob.com

“Cool.”

“Maybe we could get some pole dancers.”

“And a live rock band or jazz band or two.”

“Geez, imagine the publicity we could get!”

“Hey, and we could hold competitions. Like who can last the longest.”

“And which man can shoot the farthest.”

“And who can have the most orgasms.”

“Don’t you think that the number of orgasms would hard to monitor?”

“Who cares? There would have to be parts of this whole thing in which we trust people. Especially whether the people who pledge would actually pay. So I say, let’s just trust people.”

“People will love a public space that validates masturbation.”

“What a way to de-stigmatize self-love!”

Well, as you can imagine, the conversation continued. The board of directors became emboldened, and finally, they unanimously voted to hold the first ever Masturbate-A-Thon on May 21, 2000.

A website announcing the event was created. Flyers were created and distributed in a few places. Local media were sent press releases.

And the Masturbate-A-Thon became real. It was to be, “a comfortable and good-humored event.” It did happen. And it went on every May for a few years and no doubt improved with age.

One day seven years after the original Masturbate-A-Thon, your author, who lived only 30 miles away at the time, saw a link to the Masturbate-A-Thon website from a San Francisco Weekly article that said, in part:

“The Masturbate-a-thon [is] a sort of utopia, in which the sexual energy in the room builds, and the different masturbators inspire and arouse each other, and nobody’s touching and yet everyone is there, together, surfing the orgasm wave.”

I couldn’t believe my eyes. This was exactly in line with my vague dreams that people ought to be able to masturbate together if they want. And so on May 20, 2007, I went on down to San Francisco.

Getting Pledges

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Whoa, back up a second! The story starts a bit before May 20, 2007 for me. The day I found out, I downloaded and printed out a pledge form. Now, I didn’t have to get pledges, but I wanted to. You see, according to what I read at the website, I could have simply paid $40 as a flat pledge for myself at the door.

But that felt like cheating, and it sidestepped the purpose. Remember, the real purpose of the Masturbate-A-Thon was to bring public awareness of the positive aspects of masturbation. And by getting pledges, that’s exactly what would happen.

The first two pledges were easy. I signed up a guy who I had wanked with a time or two. I signed up a female co-worker with whom I had a very good conversational relationship. She and I had talked about masturbation in various contexts before. My guy friend was willing to pledge $0.05 per minute, and she came in with a whopping $0.10. It doesn’t sound like much, but I figured I might be able to jerk off non-stop for an hour or more. OK, so it still doesn’t sound like much, and it wasn’t.

Then it got a little harder. Imagine telling some of your more conservative friends that you’re going to go to a public venue, jerk off, and you want them to pay for it! To say I was nervous about bringing it up would be a big understatement. In fact, I delayed for a few days.

Then one evening, about six friends and I had been throwing a frisbee around in the park, and as darkness overtook us, we sat down on the lawn and started talking about various things, as we did every reasonably warm Wednesday evening. We were laughing, having a good time, and someone made a typical little joke about jerking off. Bang! That was my cue. I unfolded the pledge form from my pocket, and started my pitch.

“How much would someone have to pay you to masturbate in public?”

Dead silence.

“Really! Let me explain why I asked.”

At that point I explained the Masturbate-A-Thon, starting with the Center for Sex and Culture, and what they do for a positive sexual attitude. My little group agreed that was good. Then I just told them about the Masturbate-A-Thon, as if it would be something that some people would do (not me of course). But then I dropped the bomb. I simply said, “I’m going,” and passed around my pledge sheet.

Guess what? Every one of my six friends signed it. The somewhat wealthy fellow in the group offered $0.25 per minute.

The gathering of pledges had the desired side-effect. Franklin, a thin man with a British accent, and the most gregarious among us, admitted to masturbating frequently. He also volunteered that he is bisexual. That opened the discussion about masturbation, especially the benefits of masturbation, which carried on a good fifteen minutes.

Then, I offered to give some of them a ride to the Masturbate-A-Thon. We could carpool. That was my round-about way of trying to get some of them to come along. A couple of my friends said “no way” right away. The remaining four said they’d think about it. As May 21 approached, however, no one was willing to come along.

But I was 100% gung-ho. Couldn’t wait!

Arriving Early

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You might like to know a bit more about me. I don’t usually like parties. I’m not one for getting drunk, and trying to converse over loud music. No thank you. But this was a party I had to attend, and I was pretty sure it wasn’t going to be a bunch of drunks talking too loud. In fact, alcohol wasn’t allowed.

Back in 2007, I was just a bit over 50 years old, maybe ten or twelve pounds overweight, but quite fit overall, medium height, male, white, bearded, and balding on top. Nothing much to look at, to be sure.

I’ve always liked to be on time or a little bit early for events. But this was a great big deal for me. Plus, it was an hour away, with traffic and all. For some reason, I couldn’t help myself. I arrived a full hour early. Got my car parked, and knocked on the door at the address provided. It was an unmarked warehouse. I wasn’t quite sure I had the right building. I was looking for a sign that said “Center for Sex and Culture,” or maybe at least a paper flyer announcing the Masturbate-A-Thon. But this was just a small gray metal door on a three-story dark brick building.

So I knocked, not knowing what would happen, especially with me being early. I heard someone running down stairs inside, and shortly, the door opened. I was greeted by a twenty-something thin woman with long frizzy black hair, dressed like a hippie from the summer of love in Haight-Asbury in 1967.

Being not quite sure I had the right address, I sheepishly asked whether this was the place for the Masturbate-A-Thon, while furiously trying to figure out how I would backpedal from that, if I did have the wrong address. But she said it was. Whew! She said, “But it doesn’t start until 4pm.”

“I know. I though maybe you could use a volunteer.”

“Hmm, let me check.”

She closed the door, and I stood there on the blazing hot sidewalk for probably three whole minutes until she returned. She said, “Welcome, come on up!”

I had absolutely no idea what to expect. She and I went through a brief industrial-like hallway with no decorations, and bland beige paint. We went up what seemed a rather long staircase. Maybe it was just seemed long because I was nervous. At the top was a typical converted warehouse. There were walls dividing some of the huge area into sections. Our stairs led us to a small foyer of sorts, containing a desk made out of a portable table and a few chairs. From there, led open doorways. Next to some of the doors were paper signs. One said “Masturbatorium.” Another said “Press Room.” Yet another said “Coat Check.” Most of the doorways didn’t have doors or the doors were propped fully open. The door to the coat check room was a Dutch door, with the bottom half closed. The top surface of the bottom half of the door had been made in to a narrow tabletop. I was to discover more about that soon enough.

No one was at the desk. In fact, no one was in the foyer except the dark-haired young woman, who saw me pause to look around. She beckoned me into the masturbatorium. That was a large room, perhaps 3,000 square feet, larger than a typical 7-11 convenience store. There were a couple of homemade walls partitioning off some small rooms in the corner. There was a wide variety of easy chairs, sofas, and large cushions on the floor, all of which looked like they were ‘rescues.’ None of them were torn or badly stained, but you could see they were old and well-used.

The room smelled like a typical old warehouse, vaguely reminiscent of sawdust. There was an assortment of lighting in the room, and I do mean ‘assortment.’ While the overall lighting was subdued, there was a wide variety of ceiling fixtures, floor lamps, and table lamps strewn about, plus some Christmas lights and reflector balls strung up here and there. There were a number of posters on the walls, most suggestively but not overtly sexual. I noticed that all the windows had been covered with cardboard or thin plywood or something, painted to match the gray walls on the inside.

It took a few minutes for my eyes to adjust to the lower light, having come in from a rare sunny San Francisco afternoon. After my eyes adjusted to the lower light, and I noticed the furniture, next I noticed the people. There were about eight people in the room. One woman was scurrying across the large room with a handcart stacked with cases of soda. Another was pulling a hundred bed sheets out of a half-dozen big wicker baskets. A guy who looked sort of like me was running some sort of thing that looked like an oversized carpet sweeper across the wooden floor. When he came to the various shag and oval carpets strewn about, he just went right over them. Being one who is fascinated by mechanical things of all sorts, I’d have to check that machine out later. I’d never seen anything quite like it. But what really caught my eye was two guys with a ladder. The somewhat overweight youngish white fellow on the floor was wearing a toolbelt bristling with pliers, screwdrivers and such things over his bluejeans. He was handing the end of a wire up to the guy on the ladder. The guy on the ladder was quite black. I’d guess he had 100% African ancestry. He appeared to be about 40 years old, had short black hair and looked quite fit – like someone who really works for a living. Oh, and one other thing. He was not circumcised. How did I know that? Because he was stark naked, and sporting an erection!

I didn’t notice that a guy had come up behind me. He yelled, “Robert!” I jumped about six inches in the air!

Robert Lawrence came out of a side room. He was tall but not overly tall, appeared to be in his late 50s, had short hair and was wearing nothing but a bathrobe.

The volunteer next to me said, “Robert, we have a new volunteer. What would you like him to do?”

I introduced myself. Somehow, I felt like I was in the presence of a movie star. I had heard of Robert Lawrence, now here he was talking to me in the flesh. He was a bit brusque, or harried, or hurried. Of course, I could understand. It was less than an hour to ‘showtime.’ After a super-quick introduction, he called over the guy pushing the floor sweeper, and had me take over the task. I was actually delighted, since I kind of wanted to play with that machine. The volunteer explained that the floor had to be scrupulously clean, since a lot of barefoot people would be walking around shortly. So I started pushing the machine across the room. It had wheels that turned brushes in front and on the sides. Fun!

Upon completing that task, I was assigned to help out Keith. Keith was the guy who had been on the ladder. He was still on the ladder, but in a different location. He was stringing microphone cables for the video crew. His helper had left, so I was his new floor man. Keith introduced himself with a flourish. He was instantly likeable. We got done with a couple of cables, then he had to string some extension cords for lights.

I couldn’t just work with a fellow with a big erection without saying something, so I said, “Great erection!” He smiled. I was expecting some sort of explanation or dissembling or something, but got nothing. He just got off the ladder, and started walking toward a service elevator. He asked me to come along, as he had two boxes of extension cords to bring up. We went down in the elevator and out into the street! Wait a second. Keith was totally naked and still quite erect! But then I remembered, this was San Francisco, one of the few places where nudity is totally legal. (I think public nudity was changed back into a misdemeanor in 2012.) He walked the sidewalk to a parked van and extracted a box, asking me to grab the other box.

Back to the elevator, but we had to wait a bit, since someone else was using it. Keith started telling me his situation. He was from Los Angeles, California, and attends the Masturbate-A-Thon every year. He volunteered because he enjoys volunteering for things like this. He had been there since noon. Oddly, as we talked, his dick was staying hard. I liked seeing that. Like everyone, I’m on the bisexual scale. OK, some people are 99% hetro, and some 99% gay, but everyone is somewhere on that scale. I lean more toward women than men, but completely appreciate a male body, especially what I considered an exotic one, with a hardon.

We rode up in the elevator with an ordinary snack food delivery person with a handtruck of cartons. This guy was riding in a freight elevator with two men he’d never met, one of which was naked and erect. He handled it well. Never said a word, never seemed shocked.

After setting down the boxes of cords, Keith asked me to move the ladder. Robert was nearby and gave me a stern look, and said, rather gruffly, to not scratch the floor (the old, unpainted wooden, way-already-scratched-up floor). I was a bit embarrassed because I had dragged the ladder, but a bit upset about being ‘yelled at’ by Robert. I started to believe that Robert, although a nice guy, can be grouchy, especially just before an event is to start.

After a while, Keith had lost his spontaneous erection, and it didn’t seem to matter a bit to him whether he was hard or not. Oh, I wish I could be that free in my mind about such things!

I wasn’t quite sure what to do at this point. Being a bit of an exhibitionist, I wanted to join Keith in nudity, but on the other hand, none of the other volunteers were naked. Hmmm. Finally, I took all my clothes off, and draped them over the back of a sofa. No erection, but I still felt a bit weird, so a few minutes later, I put them back on.

Keith dispatched me to the library to get a box of lightbulbs. I found the little room and was quite impressed. There were perhaps a thousand books and DVDs in there, and you guessed it, every single one had something to do with sex. I couldn’t resist browsing a page or two.

Next, Robert had a Salamander. This is a big propane heater and fan on wheels. He wanted me to guide his extension cord so he could blow heat into all the corners of the room, and the little rooms on the side. He explained that people are more comfortable taking their clothes off when the room is warm. Of course! But, I wouldn’t have thought of that.

Most of the hour before 4pm was used up. I was asked to sign in so the volunteers manning the administration desk could get some practice. I presented my pledge sheet. It was photocopied, rubber stamped and given back to me. I presented ID, which was also photocopied. I was given a wrist band that said I was an official participant! Neat-o! I also signed an optional model release form. This was because they had set up a platform as a stage. If anyone wanted to appear in the live Internet feed, and subsequent videos that might be made, they had to sign the form. That earned me another wrist band of a different color. I didn’t really think I’d ever be brave enough to show up nude on an international video feed, but signing up for that was free, and it would be nice to be prepared, just in case.

Next was the coat check. Actually, clothing check. I was directed to the room with the half-closed dutch door, and given a paper bag with a number on it, and a corresponding number on yet another wrist tag. I was instructed to take off all my clothes except my shoes or socks if I preferred, and put them in the bag. I felt a little vulnerable being at such a weird event, and have all my clothes, wallet, keys and everything in the charge of someone else! But I felt I could trust the volunteers in the clothing check room. I also felt vulnerable because besides Keith, I was now the only one who was naked, among a group that had swelled to about 20 volunteers. I found out that many were psychology interns with an interest in sexology, and they were working off a few of their 2,500 required internship hours before they could practice as professional psychologists. At first I felt a bit strange about that. Like I was their lab rat. But, I soon forgot about that.

I was called to the refreshment tables, to help put pretzels, candies and such things in bowls, as the very first members of the general public start streaming into the foyer.

The Masturbate-A-Thon

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Sometimes volunteering can be a bad thing. Or more specifically, it can feel weird. Or at least it did in this case. I was one of only two naked people, and the other one, Keith, had disappeared into a back room on a last-minute errand with the video people. Now, fully-clothed people were coming in off the street. Oh, how I wished I hadn’t so cheerfully offered to be the first person registered!

I probably should have been proud of being naked and free. I could have been overjoyed to be so fully expressing my exhibitionist tendency. Or fantasy, really. But no, I have to admit I was a bit freaked out. It’s as if I had been caught in junior high school pulling a prank that went too far, and was about to go to the principal’s office. I thought about going back to the library to kind of hide. I even took a couple of footsteps in that direction. But no, that was chicken-shit. I had to stick it out. At least my penis wasn’t sticking out. It had shriveled to about the smallest it could be. Maybe if it had fluffed up a little, that would have been nice.

Fortunately, my concerned state didn’t last long. People were getting registered, and a few individuals already had their clothing check bags in hand. Some were undressing right away. Others were kind of hanging back, as if to check whether it was really OK to disrobe in public.

Nudity was starting to become normal in front of the clothing check door, and into the masturbatorium.

Did I mention that not only am I a bit of an exhibitionist, at least in my fantasies, but also a voyeur? You bet! And I was delighted to see who was coming in. A very fit white guy, about 32 years old, about 5′ 11″ or 6′ 0″ feet tall was now totally naked. A really cool fellow who looked to be Hispanic, quite thin, about 50 years old was next. Then we had a short 20-something white woman with very long dark hair and a plump butt was next. Oh, look at that, she’s totally shaved! Then a sixty-something, heavyset gentleman. And a tall woman, perhaps 45 years old. Slightly saggy but large breasts, but I’m not a judge. I just notice these things. Then a waif. That’s how I describe her. Wait, I recognized her. She was one of the volunteers. She was now totally disrobed. She was very thin, couldn’t have been even five feet tall, with long, straight blond hair, small breasts, and a confident smile. Nice! A couple of older gents, perhaps in their seventies. A redheaded couple. Could they be brother and sister? He appeared to be of average height, just a touch overweight, like myself. He had very red curly hair, a bit of rosacia (natural redness) in his face too, and wearing nothing but glasses. His sister was an absolute knock-out. She had the same curly red hair, on her vagina too. She was of medium build, curvy but not fat, excellent rounded breasts that almost looked air-filled, and had beautiful big blue eyes.

And they kept coming in. I believe all-in-all, around 120 people showed up. They started filling the masturbatorium.

Most of the people were going for time. Their pledges were about how many minutes they could masturbate. No one told us whether we should start, wait for a signal, or just how this works. I was a bit surprised to find out that the interns didn’t really know what was going on either. Robert and Carol were nowhere to be found. I believe they had been detained in the press room.

So, some people had staked out the best looking sofas and were lazily just stroking themselves a little bit. A few erections here and there. Many people were standing in groups talking. Some evidently knew each other. I suppose most of the ones who knew others, like the redheaded brother and sister, had arranged to come to this event together. But, I’ll bet some were shocked to see their friends and neighbors here! Imagine seeing your co-worker, for instance, someone you have ridden the bus with with every day, or faced across from your computer screen hour after hour, and suddenly they’re here and stark naked. And you’re naked! And you’re becoming erect. And her nipples are hard and pointed.

Keith was going to town. He had plopped himself in an old sheet-covered recliner. All of the furniture was covered in sheets and towels. He was there in his recliner with a great vantage point of the doorway from the foyer, so he could see people as they were coming in. And the first thing they probably saw was good-ole Keith, slowly stroking his penis, with a giant erection and a giant smile!

A few guys had sat cross-legged on cushions and were talking about motorcycles as some stroked themselves, and others just sat there, not touching themselves yet. Some were as soft as me, others were sporting erections. I joined this group, and as casually as if we were old friends, and as casually as if we were all clothed, we were talking about two-stroke versus four-stroke engines, and fuel injection, and well, motorcycle stuff. One fellow was really eye candy. He couldn’t have been more than twenty years old. He was slight of build, and had long blond hair, almost like a woman. He had shaved all his body hair, and had a thin but tall circumcized erection. He was idly squeezing the tip of his dick with the thumb and forefinger of one hand. After a moment, he switched to cupping and gently squeezing his balls with one hand. Shortly after that, he pulled fairly hard and held down the skin of his dick, causing the head to shine like a polished apple.

Now, about a hundred people had all gotten naked and found positions around the room. Most were fifty years old or more, but some were quite young, like 18 – 20 years old. Many were heavyset, and of course, there were also some thin people. As you might expect, it was about seventy percent male. I’m glad there were enough women there so that they’d be comfortable. If only one or two women were present, they might have been rather freaked out, just as if only two men had showed up around a hundred women.

There was one thing that skewed the statistic a bit. There was a small room set aside for women who wanted privacy. About six women took up residence in that room. Although the doorway was open and one could see inside, people were all polite enough to not jam into the doorway and stare. Personally, I would rather have had the six women in the general group.

Finally, Robert and Carol came into the room, and announced that those people who were going for time, should start now. They said we could have five minute bathroom and snack breaks every hour. They said there’d be contests for the farthest distance a man can shoot, and most number of women’s and men’s orgasms. Also, an award would be given to the person who masturbates the longest. To finish their announcement, they reminded us of the good work that the Center for Sex and Culture was doing, how the money the Masturbate-A-Thon would be used, and thanked us for our participation.

Someone asked about what “tag-team” meant. For those who were interested, couples or larger groups, could give each other handjobs. For instance, a husband and wife could rub each other, and go for the tag-team time or number of orgasms record.

Then Carol reminded those who were interested in recording number of orgasms to find an intern who would be their monitor. That sounds like fun, doesn’t it? To masturbate in front of a stranger who is intently watching you?

Carol and Robert went back to the press room, and a few clothed people with cameras and notebooks followed them. I was told later that the people with cameras were very specifically told not to record anyone who was not wearing the green wrist banding indicating they had signed a release form.

I turned my attention back to the motorcycle group. I was somewhat surprised that while I had been stroking myself like everyone else was now doing, I didn’t get erect. I mean, with all that charged energy in the room, you’d think I’d not only grow a giant boner, but I’d have cum by now. I wasn’t even close. Weird. I guess it is because all my life in locker rooms, at various nude beaches, and so on, I have taught myself not to become erect in public.

After a while, I drifted away from the group and visited Keith. He seemed blissed out on his recliner, but when I walked by he said, “Hi.” So, we started talking. It turns out he was a fighter pilot in the Vietnam war. (I had no idea he was that old, he looks much younger.) He had been shot. Flack came right through the fuselage and hit him in the buttock and thigh. He showed me the scars. I showed him my knee where I had been shot. So we had that in common. What we did not have in common is that he is a celebrity. I should have recognized him, but I guess all I really noticed was his big, shiny, black dick. He was just using the name “Keith” so people wouldn’t know who he was. When the occasional person came by and said, “Hey, are you…?” he’d say, “No, he just looks like me.” He asked me, and everyone else he spoke with at any length, not to reveal his identity, since if it became known that he was at the Masturbate-A-Thon, it might hurt his career. So, for this book, I’ll just keep calling him “Keith.”

The entertainment had started. There were some bands on the stage that I had not heard of. Mostly, they were good, although in some cases the sound wasn’t quite mixed to my satisfaction. Between bands, a couple of adult entertainers got on stage. One brash young man who I did not recognize, but who was probably somebody big in porn movies, got on stage and started dancing and waving his limp penis around. He tried to masturbate there on the stage, but no go, he couldn’t get hard. After seven or eight minutes of trying, he gave up.

One of our interns, the small, frizzy black haired girl came up. She opened her legs really wide, showing us her pussy and asshole in great detail, as if it was a show-and-tell demonstration. She then proceeded to stroke herself to a slow, but powerful orgasm, right there in front of everyone and the two video cameras. That got me. I was finally starting to develop a semi-erection.

More rock bands. Nina Hartley came on stage with a weird costume. She had short strips of black electrical tape making crosses across her nipples, her glasses, and some sort of girdle or neglege-like thing that had a big opening right over her pussy. All she did however, was talk for awhile about positive masturbation. No one was listening.

For a while, someone had been allowed to put a video camera in the women’s ‘private’ room, and one woman was rubbing herself and having orgasms like crazy. We could see it on a big screen erected over the stage.

At various times in the evening, videos were played on the screen, but they were mostly talking heads, music videos, or such mild pornography as to not be pornography at all.

Two hours in, and I was stroking away, yet I had never become fully hard. A few more stragglers had drifted in, but there were still only about a hundred people in the room. That’s because a few of the guys had ejaculated, lost their enthusiasm, and went home.

A guy got on stage with an upright piano and played beautiful honky-tonk music. That would have been worth the price of admission alone. He was all dressed in pinstripes, with suspenders and a bowler hat. I wonder if he wanted to be naked with all of us?

I only saw one couple tag-teaming. They were very involved with each other, and never really seemed to be in the room with the rest of us. In later years, the Masturbate-A-Thon eliminated tag-teaming. Handjobs aren’t fully qualified as masturbation, which by definition is ‘doing yourself.’

In the third hour, the redhead girl who had arrived with her brother took a spot on the floor, laying face down, with her legs spread wide. This was excellent! I could see her asshole very clearly, and I have a thing about assholes. Her butt was slim and tight. She was totally shaved, and her anus was small and had very little coloration. Just the way I like them. She had reached under her belly and was rubbing her clit. I didn’t know whether it was OK to stare as I wanked, so I got up the courage, walked around to the side she was facing, and asked her. She said, “Sure, knock yourself out.” In retrospect, I realize now that she was putting on a show. She wanted me to stare at her. So I kneeled down behind her where I could get a great view, as a few other guys piled in around me. That got me hard. Very hard. I almost came after a minute, Fortunately, I’m good at edging. I know when I’m getting close, so I backed off. After a while, she got up and walked back to join her brother. The two of them took chairs facing each other and rubbed themselves easily while staring into eath other’s eyes.

There were a few fully clothed reporters working the room. I was interviewed two times. I asked the reporters, one of which was a young female, whether they planed to join us in wanking. No, they decided to stay clothed. On principle, I guess. Then, I asked whether anyone else had asked the same thing. Yes, everyone kept asking them to join in the fun, that the only way to get the true story was to be one of us.

A heavyset woman of about 40 years and I got to talking. Her very young female Asian intern was right there watching and listening, because this woman was going for the record number of orgasms. She told me she had already had twelve, and was about to have another. Would I like to place my hand on her lower stomach and feel the contractions? You bet. So I did, and I felt her having an orgasm! The intern then reminded me that we aren’t really supposed to touch anyone else.

I had been reminded of that very thing a few minutes earlier. A nice older gentleman asked whether he could stroke my penis. I said, “Of course, I don’t see why not.” So he reached out, and very gently slid what’s left of my foreskin up and down. It felt very nice to be touched in that way by a stranger’s warm fingers. But after a half-minute or so, an intern came by, and said, “Sorry, no touching of others.”

In a way, that was a shame, but in another way, that was just right. This whole thing could have easily turned into an orgy if there had been no supervision. And that would generate bad publicity, not good publicity. Besides, wanking in the same room with others is absolutely awesome in its own right!

The Masturbate-A-Thon had what they called a ‘voyeurs’ area. People who just wanted to watch could pay $40 and sit on a set of bleachers behind a rope on one side of the room and watch. Personally, I don’t know how they could stand it. If I had been a voyeur, I would have marched back to the administration desk and said, “Let me in, I want to play!” But maybe the voyeurs are too shy, or for their own reasons, they don’t want, or don’t need to jerk off with us. At various times there were a dozen or twenty voyeurs.

There was a guy masturbating who I had seen on the Internet because he has attended other sex events xin the San Francisco Bay Area and is somewhat of a sexual celebrity. And, of course, after deciding to participate in this event, I looked up similar events on the web. I thought his name was Culo, or Cusco, or something like that, but because of a loud band playing in the background, I couldn’t quite tell when he introduced himself. He had a strong accent. I have since heard that he is Yuma, a software engineer who moved from Argentina. He appears to be in his early thirties. He has dark shiny smooth skin, and a very strong build. No doubt he is a bodybuilder. From what I had seen on the Internet, he likes to wear a cockring, and tonight was no exception. It was amazing to see him in person. He has a tall, confident, commanding presence. And his penis is very large! This guy is the ultimate exhibitionist. I’ve heard, in fact seen, video clips of him masturbating right out in the streets of San Francisco. He was on the floor on his hands and knees, facing away the voyeurs section so they had a clear view of his anus. And he was working a dildo in and out. Very, very sexual.

Five hours in, and I hadn’t cum yet! I was amazed and proud of myself. I had been erect for much of the past two hours. I had no idea that I might qualify for the record, which I had been told was around seven hours, but here I was already at five hours of wanking. So, now I was starting to think that I ought to earnestly pursue the record.

Another few grunts and a yell. A guy ejaculated. It was fun to watch a guy squirting cum only a few feet away from me. He got soft, and went home. This was becoming increasingly common.

I hadn’t seen Keith in a while. I guess he came once or twice, finally lost the spirit, and went home. It had already been a long day for him.

During a bathroom break, I had to walk out the masturbatorium doorway to the foyer area where the refreshments table and bathrooms were located. The doorway was rather clogged with mostly clothed people. These were people from the press, technical support people, such as the video personnel, people just arriving or leaving, and voyeurs. It was quite narrow, and the venue was loud. So there I was walking with a beautiful erection in front of everyone. It was heaven for the exhibitionist part of me! But I had to get through the crowd. I tried saying “excuse me” a couple of times, but no one could hear unless I shouted, and I didn’t think that would be quite right. So I just pressed in, and people slowly parted so I could get through. But not before I bumped my penis into a couple of clothed people. The feeling was indescribable. Oh, not the physical sensation. I barely felt anything with my penis. But the psychology. Oh the psychological effect! There I was bumping strangers with my proud erection, and it was OK. Kind of normal in a way. Fantastic!

I was still hard when I got to the bathroom. For some reason, the bathroom had only one urinal and one toilet. There must have been more bathrooms elsewhere, but I never did figure out where. Anyway, there was a bit of a line, and you could see the people in there doing their business. After a brief wait, I was able to approach the toilet. I found it a little hard to pee with an erection plus people not only staring at me, but wanting me to finish quickly so they could pee. So it took a moment, but finally, I did pee. And my hardon was starting to subside.

A quick visit to the snack table, and I was back in action in the masturbatorium again. Unfortunately, the doorway was not blocked this time. But then again, I wasn’t hard now, either.

Back in the masturbatorium, I had a nice visit with a lady who was probably well over 70 years old. She was overweight and hairy. Not much to look at, but a very sweet individual. She was sitting in a high-backed chair against a wall rubbing her clit.

It was approaching 10pm, and I noticed a late arrival for the first time. This was a very tall, thin, dark-skinned Asian woman, with perky breasts, wearing nothing but a cowboy hat. She strolled past, rubbing her black, hairy but trimmed vagina as she walked. I would have thought I’d died and gone to heaven if I could have just sat down and watched her while I wanked, but there were so many guys following her around, I gave up on the idea. It was enough just to see her in her entirety for a moment. I hope she was enjoying all the male attention. In fact, I’m rather certain she was very much enjoying the attention.

Now, Nina Hartley, the porn star from several years ago, was on the stage and giving a guy a nice handjob. I don’t quite understand how she could do that and not be breaking the rules, but then again, she was the star. And she still looked great. The guy ejaculated, and left the stage. She asked whether anyone else would like to visit her on the stage. My hormones ruled. I was up there in a heartbeat. Who would have figured? Me, a generally shy average-looking guy, stark naked on a stage, about to do something sexual with Nina Hartley!

She asked what I liked, and I told her. I tried to think of something she could do that wouldn’t cause me to ejaculate. At the time I was fascinated with testicle massage. She offered to do it right there and then, in front of the Internet feed going out to the whole world. Chances are, thousands of people were watching, because the event was well publicized online. I slouched in a chair with my legs wide apart as she Kneeled in front of me. Nina Hartley! A clothed camera guy got right up next to me for a close up, but I was completely fine with that. Proud in fact.

Nina’s touch was electrifying. She started out with a very soft tickle-light touching of my scrotum. My dick was sticking straight up, rock hard, and jerking back and forth occasionally. She was expert enough not to touch it. Because I would have squirted right away. Then she started in earnest. She really knew what I meant about testicle massage. I’ve had several men and women massage my balls, and they never seem to get it quite right. Most never get up the nerve to squeeze hard enough. They are afraid they’ll hurt, or even injure me. The few who do use enough pressure are not aware that there are sensitive spots on the top back sides of the balls where the cords attach. If those spots are squeezed, it is quite ouchy.

Oh, but Nina was an expert. She was squeezing and kneading my balls like her life depended on it. She was squeezing harder and harder until she saw me flinch a couple of times. Then she backed off just the right amount, and gave me a full five minutes of the best ball massage I’ve ever had in my life. I looked at a video monitor at one point, and there were my balls and dick, bigger than life, all over the Internet.

All good things must end, and Nina sent me on my way, and after rubbing herself on camera for a few minutes, she went on to make some other guy’s dream come true.

Days after the Masturbate-A-Thon, I scoured the Internet, hoping to find ‘my’ video, but I never did find it.

More wanking. Midnight had come and gone, and I was approaching eight hours of solid jerking off, except for bathroom breaks. I wasn’t sore, and I was loving every minute of it. But, of all damn things, I was getting sleepy.

The room was clearing out. There were only about thirty people left.

I was wondering just how important it was to me to break the record. There were only two competitors left. One regular-looking guy had spent almost the whole time in the one and only hammock in the room. I don’t even know if he took bathroom breaks.

The other was a fellow named Masanobu who had come all the way from Japan.


Here’s a YouTube video of Masanobu backgrounding his ‘work’ at the Masturbate-A-Thon. Just click the picture if your device supports web links, otherwise, you can go to youtube.com/watch?v=SNH5EUw7gxk next time you get a chance.

He was an official representative of a Fleshlight-like device. These are tubes with soft insides that you slip over your penis. They are supposed to feel much like a real vagina. He had been using his contraption the whole time, while other representatives of the company went around the room offering to let people try their fake vaginas. Earlier in the evening, I tried one, and liked it well enough, but liked my hand better.

Anyway, he had been practicing. It looked like he was going to go forever, so maybe it was becoming time for me think about heading home.

I had been wanking side by side with another guy approximately my age who kept telling me how great my dick looked. Everyone loves to to hear that, and I’m no exception. We were talking about porn websites we liked when he pointed out a group of three women across the room.

I walked over to watch. One of the three was was perhaps 18 or 20 years old, very small, thin, and had very short black hair. Almost a crew cut. Pretty obviously a lesbian costume or statement. She was laying on her back on a cushion on the floor, having such strong orgasms that she was convulsing. Her very small flat breasts were shaking along with her whole body. Her two friends were on either side of her, holding her shoulders and murmuring some soft somethings to her. I took one look at that, and suddenly I lost it, I ejaculated all over the floor.

After that, part of me wanted to stay, but the more practical part said it was late (for me), I was tired, and still had to drive 30 miles home. Besides, that, my penis was now obstinately soft and just a little bit sore. It wasn’t going to get back up any time soon. So it was time to visit the clothing check, get my stuff, jump in the car and head home.

What Happened Next

Table of Contents

As luck would have it, traffic was stopped at the bridge. Evidently a car had caught fire up ahead. It was a rare warm San Fracisco night, so I, and most of the other motorists stepped out of our cars to enjoy the refreshing air. Guess who popped out of the car next to me? Right, one of the Masturbate-A-Thon participants! We exchanged phone numbers and promised to get together for our own mini masturbate-a-thon, but we never did. Traffic cleared, and I headed home.

I had masturbated non-stop for 8 hours and 20 minutes, according to the stamps on my pledge sheet. The guy in the hammock must have quit just minutes after I did. I later found out that the Japanese guy won with a time of 8 hours and 40 minutes. If only I had known! But then again, he probably would have gone 20 hours if he had to, in order to win.

You’d think I’d be sore the next day. If not my penis, then perhaps my arm or wrist. But no, I was just fine and in fact jerked off a couple of times the next day while remembering the Masturbate-A-Thon.

What a glorious time I had telling all my pledgees about my experience at the Masturbate-A-Thon! I think after my telling of the story, they all wished they had had the gumption to go along with me.

No one, especially I, expected me to go eight hours and 20 minutes! Everyone paid up, including my benefactor who pledged $0.25 per minute. He had to pay $125. He grumbled a bit, but he wrote a check, which I forwarded along with the other payments to the Center for Sex and Culture.

In later years, there have been a few changes. For instance, the record times were getting so long, that they no longer hold in-house competitions for who can go the longest. They are more vigilant about people touching anyone other than themselves. The self-pledge price dropped from $40 to $30, making it easier for more people to attend.

Here are some records from more recent events:

Longest Time, set in 2012 by Sonny Nash: 10 hours and 10 minutes

Men’s Ejaculation Distance Record, set in 2014: 12 ft 10 in (3.9 m)

Female Most Orgasms, set at the Denmark Masturbate-A-Thon in 2009: 222

Male Most Orgasms, also Denmark 2009: 8

In the following years, I have twice more attended the Masturbate-A-Thon. Both times were as good as the first.

It turns out I still couldn’t get my friends, my pledgees from the first year to come along. Oh well, Their loss. My one and only complaint with the Masturbate-A-Thon in general is that it is under-publicized. I believe the people at the Center for Sex and Culture just don’t know how to publicize a local event in a big city like San Francisco. Because every year, only between a hundred and 250 people out of well over a million in the Bay Area show up. What’s up with that?

Can you imagine what it would like to have a convention of a thousand people wanking together?

Now, they do hold masturbate-a-thons in some other cities such as London, Portland, Philadelphia, even in Denmark. Perhaps you’d like to organize one where you live!

See also: The Masturbate-A-Thon, Another Perspective

# # #

90 Ways To Spice Up Your Sex Life

by Jeremy J. Watson

Enjoy this book of unusual sexual activities. Many may not be for you. Some may be too intense, others too mild. You may have already experimented with some of these techniques. However, you’ll find some that will amaze you. You and your partner can discover new kinds of fun that can open entire new vistas. You can use any of these activities exactly as they are described, or make up your own versions based on what you read.

Most are written for heterosexual couples, but with minor variation can be also enjoyed by homosexual and solosexual people and groups.

Disclaimer: The material in this book is not to be taken as a replacement for proper medical or professional advice. Exercise proper safety measures in all sexual play.

1. Stretch scrotum: Many men don’t realize they like this. You can pull a man’s scrotum quite firmly, and while it is not orgasmic, it can feel comforting or even exciting. For men who have trouble starting an erection, it can be a great trigger. It doesn’t matter whether the scrotum is currently drawn up tight, or loose. However, it can be pulled further when loose. Be careful about fingernails or pulling hairs.

2. Massage: While massage can be an end in itself, if combined with sexual play, it is a great augmentation. You don’t have to be an expert to give a good massage. Simply communicate. Let your partner know that you’d like to hear when he or she wants more oil, more or less pressure, attention to one area or another.

You’ll find communication is one of the most important factors in all sexual play. The more you communicate with your partner, the better it gets.

Communication can be tricky if there are things that embarrass you. For instance, you may very much want massage of your upper inner thighs, but think it would be considered weird by your partner. If you have the courage to mention your desire, you might just be surprised. Or, your partner may think it is weird. In any case, it is better to find out. You may even be able to discuss why your partner feels it is weird, and end up coming to a resolution and getting what you want.

It may be that you’ve never massaged anyone in your life. The general idea is that it should be a comfortable procedure. Make sure the room is warm enough. Warm your hands if they are cold. In most cases, your partner will want some oil so your fingers don’t feel scratchy against the skin.

You can start at the top of the body and work down. Most massages start with the recipient laying on his or her stomach.

You might start with the head before you put oil on your hands. Rub the scalp firmly, being careful not to pull hair. Then, work on the neck, shoulders, eventually massaging the upper and lower arms, and don’t forget about the hands. Massage of the hands can be very erotic. Then massage the upper back, moving down to the lower back.

Some people will then skip over the butt, instead doing the upper legs, lower legs, ankles, and then the feet, finally returning to the butt.

Have the recipient roll over. Don’t be surprised to see male recipients with an good, solid erection at this point. Ignore it, or compliment it. Many women don’t realize how vein some men can be about their erections. Massage the face, reach under the neck and massage the lower neck and back of shoulders, using the recipient’s weight to help, then the arms, and hands again. Return to the upper chest.

At this point, the massage may skip over the breasts, and sometimes skip the stomach too, moving on to the thighs, then the legs, ankles and feet. After that, you can return to the breasts, and optionally lightly massage the stomach.

Most of your strokes should originate near the middle of the body, and work outward.

Once the general massage is done, you may want to focus on the genitals. This can finish with a handjob, blowjob, pussy eating, or G-spot massage. A massage that finishes with an orgasm is referred to as a “happy ending massage.”

Another version is a tantric massage, in which you give the genitals attention, but purposely end without inducing an orgasm, leaving the recipient in a energetic, charged-up state.

3. Lights on: Get naked and sexual in the middle of the day when there is plenty of ambient light, or turn the lights on, and enjoy each others company. It is OK to study each others bodies in great detail. Do not force this on someone who has body dysmorphia – someone who is not proud of their body. For them, it would be horribly embarrassing.

4. Massage inner labia: This is something that many women may not realize they like until they try it. Massaging the inner labia can be done dry, with natural lube, or any good oil or lotion. For most women, a very light touch is best at first, slowly working up to a more moderate pressure. Be careful about pulling hairs. Maintaining the massage for a long period of time can make a woman very horny. Occasionally brushing the clitoris adds sparkle.

5. Make a sextape: These days, they aren’t generally video tapes like the days when the term “sextape” was created. Grab your phone or video camera and make a video. Chances are, it will never be for showing to anyone, however some people like to upload their finished products to websites such as XTube.com, XHamster.com, or XNXX.com. Make very sure your sextape is well hidden. You wouldn’t want your kids to find it.

6. Apple polishing: You can give a man very intense pleasure with apple polishing, also known as “glans rubbing,” or “glans blame” in Japan. Wrap your fingers around your partner’s erect penis with one hand to hold it, leaving the top exposed. Rub the palm of your other hand over the top. Most men will squirm like crazy, because this imparts a nearly unbearable tickle. Some men won’t like it. Others will love it. For one who likes it, it may help to tie the recipient down or sit on his hands or legs, so he can’t get away.

After a few minutes, the sensation settles down, becoming more bearable. It usually transmutes into a combination of ‘gonna-cum’ and ‘gotta-pee’ feeling. Generally, the recipient doesn’t cum or pee, however, you may want to cover the bed with something waterproof, because in at least one case your author knows of, the recipient involuntarily let out a large splash of urine.

Glans rubbing can be done dry or with lube. Interestingly, the sensation is stronger with lube.

If the sensation dies down too far, you can try changing the amount of squeeze from the holding hand, or the pressure or angle of the palm. Rubbing more over the top surface of the glans can make the sensation stronger.

Be careful about too much pressure, not enough lube, or going too long, since the skin of the glans can become irritated, taking days to heal.

7. French kissing: For those who don’t know, this is kissing in which one’s tongue enters the partner’s mouth. If you’ve never experienced it, you might think it is unappealing. Once you try it, you’ll probably have an entirely different opinion. Two people French kissing can play battle with their tongues. Pressing one’s tongue in deep, and exploring as much of the other person’s mouth as is accessible can be great fun.

8. Finger rub buttcrack: A seemingly simple thing that can be underrated is to simply run your fingertip over the top of your partner’s butt crack. While not a super sexual act for the majority of people, it enhances the overall mood for most everyone.

9. Get a dildo: Placing a dildo, a fake penis, in a vagina can be quite fulfilling. Some women like to experiment with different lengths and widths. Some enjoy stretching, taking as wide a dildo as possible. Others like a long one that bangs against the back of the vaginal canal. Most prefer moderate dildos. Men, too, can enjoy a dildo in the ass. Surprisingly, many women enjoy a dildo in the ass as much, and sometimes more, than in the pussy.

10. Outdoors: Playing in the bright sun, or in a deep forest near a stream, or any other outdoor location, can be a real turn-on. Feeling the warming sun or a cool breeze where the sun never shines feels freeing. Some people like the exhilaration of risking being seen by unsuspecting passers-by. Of course you’ll want to be careful to avoid actually being caught, since you could upset people or even find yourself in trouble with the law.

Also consider sunburn. It is easy to get burned on skin that’s not used to sun exposure. The top of the breasts, top of the butt, and top of feet are prime targets for sunburn.

11. Clit squeezing: Some, but not all women like having their clits squeezed. This can be done with or without lube. The sensations are quite different when squeezing a dry versus wet clitoris. When dry, the fingers get better traction, and so can be more effective. When wet, the clit is slippery, and the effect of slipping through the fingers can be orgasmic in itself.

12. Putting on a show for friends: Inviting a friend, a couple, or even a group to watch you and your partner have sex is just the ticket for some people, and an absolutely horrible thought for others. You must be sure your psychology and that of your partner is strong enough to handle this. It may be difficult to bring the concept up with the people you’d like to invite, but once you start the conversation, they may have their own ideas, such as a full swinging party, in which, of course, you may, or may not want to participate.

13. Watching urination: If you’ve never urinated for your partner, or your partner has never urinated for you to watch, you may be surprised to discover that eliminating this taboo brings you closer.

14. Shaving: More and more people are doing it. It used to be almost exclusively women, and then only the ones who were performing in porn. Rarely, you’d see an older man who shaved most of his body. As one ages, one starts to feel less pressure from social restrictions, and does more of what one wants. The older men enjoyed being hairless ‘down there.’

Slowly, being hairless in the genital region has become more accepted in the general population with both sexes. Actual shaving leaves a sandpapery layer of stubble. Some people use depilation creams or electrolysis for more complete hair removal. Some depilate only the genital area. Others go full-body.

For men, it has been more of a stigma, although in recent years, a man can go to the gym and more often and see shaved guys in the showers. Men often remove the hair from only around their scrotum areas, leaving a patch above the penis. However, even today, you’ll want to think before removing hair in case your conservative friends may see you in a communal shower.

It is totally OK under all circumstances to trim genital hair. If anyone were to ask, you can simply say it is more sanitary, or reduces sweating.

The shaved look makes the genitals stand out. You’re far more naked when people can see your labia or scrotum in complete detail.

15. Finger in anus: People of all sexes generally like this, although some can’t get past the idea of fecal matter becoming part of the scene. When the rectum is clean, the fecal matter is pretty much non-existent. You might prefer to use a rubber glove.

The glands around the anus secrete a sweet-smelling substance that is actually quite attractive.

Before introducing a finger into your partner’s anus, you might lightly run a fingertip around the anus for a while. That, in itself, is a great sensation. Use lube and press in slowly. A slight twisting motion can help.

Once in, many people like for the finger to be pushed in as far as possible, with the rest of the hand pressing hard against the butt.

When pulling out, be as slow as when you went in. Sudden removal is somewhat shocking, causing the recipient’s eyes to open wide momentarily. When the finger is withdrawn slowly, the recipients usually feel like the finger is very long.

Finger play should generally be avoided with partners who have hemmorrhoids.

Some women can have orgasms strictly from anal finger play.

16. Fisting: The finger in the anus can be extended to two, three, or even more fingers for those who like that sort of thing. For some partners, putting the whole fist in the rectum is possible. It should be built up to slowly. Most people cannot accommodate a full fist the first time they try. A few people have taken it to great lengths, with deep fisting, that straightens out the large intestine. Arms have been inserted past the elbow. Some people like double-fisting the anus.

17. A variation of fisting is vaginal fisting. Like anal fisting, it should be introduced slowly and gently. Women will often have orgasms when the fist is fully inserted. Such a fulfilling orgasm cannot be duplicated any other way. A few women have managed double-fisting. There are two versions: One is the fists of both hands in the vagina. Actually, the hands are usually open, with the fingers of each handing extending fully into the vaginal canal. The other version is concurrent fisting of the anus and vagina.

18. Full bladder: Most of the time, the feeling that you have to pee is counter-productive to enjoyable sexual play. However, if you purposely have a full bladder, it can add new dimensions to sensations. Having an orgasm with a full bladder is another sensation that cannot be duplicated any other way. Of course, having waterproof bedding is a good idea, because the natural result of going too far with a full bladder is losing control.

Some men have experimented with “peegasms,” or “pissgasms.” This is ejaculating while urinating. It is difficult to achieve because the body’s natural action is to tightly shut the urinary sphincters when ejaculating, to prevent retrograde ejaculation into the bladder. However, with a bladder so full that urine occasionally leaks out involuntarily, while edging, stimulation to just short of ejaculation several times, and a very relaxed body so that when orgasm starts, the valves will not need to close, you, too, can have a peegasm.

19. Play doctor: Just like when you were kids, you can play doctor with your partner. This can be done on any level, and any way you’d like. For instance, it can be a simple visual examination of your partner’s genitals. Or, dressed in scrubs, with a stethoscope around your neck, you can use medical terminology, and even medical equipment, while pretending to perform a full examination.

20. Testicle massage: Like so many sexual techniques, some men won’t like this at all, and others will love it. However, with testicle massage, the rift is deeper. Most actually do like a light massage of the scrotum and its contents. But some like a very firm massage of the testicles themselves. You can work up the pressure slowly, finding your man’s limits.

For some men, it is just a pleasure like any kind of massage. Many will get a full erection even without the penis being touched. Some will spontaneously ejaculate.

There are some men who take it as a challenge. They want it to hurt. They want to see how much they can take. Interestingly, the amount of pressure varies considerably. A sensitive man can only take the lightest squeeze. Some of the ‘challenge’ men can be squeezed so tightly that your fingers start to hurt.

The usual approach is to squeeze the testicles between the thumb and first two fingers of each hand. If you wiggle your fingers back and forth a bit, that can nicely enhance the effect.

Sometimes the balls will slip from your grasp like a wet bar of soap. Generally the man will flinch, but it doesn’t really hurt unless the pressure is severe. Some men particularly like the slipping back and forth effect.

Be careful about pressing the upper area behind the testicles. This is where the spermatic cords attach, and is very sensitive in comparison to the rest of the testicle. Otherwise, the balls can take quite a lot of force. They’re not like grapes that can be popped easily. They’re more like chicken gizzards, being very rubbery. However, a man will feel pain way before the balls can be squeezed injuriously hard.

The things you should be careful of are epididimis separation and testicular torsion. Pressing in the wrong places, or pulling the balls hard in a loose sack can be damaging the area where the epididimis attaches to the upper back of the testicle.

Young men are sometimes prone to testicular torsion, a very painful condition in which the ball becomes twisted on the cord, cutting off circulation and requiring immediate surgery to save the testicle. It may be possible to accidentally set that off with extreme testicle massage.

21. Butt slapping: It seems women more than men prefer this, and many of both sexes don’t like it at all. However, for those who enjoy it, it is pretty much universally discovered during adulthood. The person didn’t know he or she liked it, until someone did it. You can try very mild slapping with your partner, and gauging by the reaction, you can slap more and harder or find something else your partner enjoys instead.

22. Tapping the top of the penis: To hold a penis in one hand, and lightly slap down on the tip with the other hand is a delightful surprise for some men. Be careful, however, because many men wouldn’t like it at all.

You can also slap a penis sideways. Be careful about exerting too much force, because sideways slapping can injure a penis. One of the common injuries is corposa cavernosa fracture. Those are the spongy areas that fill with blood to cause an erection. When fractured, the blood leaks out, making a painful internal blob, and requires surgery to repair.

23. Ear sex: Have you ever had your ears kissed and licked? You’ll be surprised how erotic this can be. It is even more exciting to have one’s tongue in an ear nearly as far as it can go, although it is a bit disconcerting if the air is cut off causing pressure changes.

24. How far can I go?: If you’re with someone new, or someone who is shy, or maybe a regular partner who is only half in the mood, you can play the “How far can I go” game. Starting by touching your partner’s back, you say, “Is this OK?” If so, touch lower down the back, and say “How about now?” Continue down your partner’s back, eventually making it to the butt, always asking if it is OK. If you’ve made it that far, you can reach into your partner’s butt crack, eventually touching the anus or scrotum or vagina, assuming you still have permission. Of course there are many alternatives, such as starting with an ankle, and making it up to the genital region.

25. Hide the prize: A woman can put a prize in her vagina, and have her partner retrieve it. The prize should be something small, and without rough edges. A car key in a little plastic bottle would be a good choice. A toaster oven, not so good.

26. Sounding: Sounding is the practice of inserting objects into the urethra. This is not for the feint of heart, and it is not safe. It is included here in case you’re interested, and are willing to take the risks. There are two risks involved with sounding. One is that the lining of the urethra is very fragile, and easily scratched, which can result in surprisingly profuse bleeding. In time, a scratched urethra can heal with an internal scar, blocking passage of fluids and sometimes requiring surgical intervention. The bigger risk is infection. The inside of the urethra is not well-protected against bacteria. An infection that starts in the urethra can quickly migrate to the bladder, kidneys, prostate, and the general bloodstream. Such infections can also be hard to fight.

Now that you know all that, if you’re still interested, the way to play safe is to use only very smooth objects. Pick ones that will not disintegrate in the presence of lube, and then sterilize your sounds before use. Also sterilize the urethral opening, called the “meatus,” your hands, and any surfaces that the sound might contact.

Introduce sounds very slowly. A good rule is to not push at all. Just guide the sound in, and let gravity cause it to fall into the urethra.

The urethra is surprisingly long in men, typically around 14 inches (35 cm). In women, it is less than a couple of inches (5 cm). Several types of sounds are available. The flexible plastic ones are probably best for safety, but sounds made from stainless steel are more common. They are usually purchased in sets of varying diameters ranging from around 3 mm to over 15 mm. Men’s urethras are less flexible than women, and so they’ll probably need to use thinner sounds.

For a man, the feeling of being fucked is unique. Also, having someone else do something that intimate to you can make you feel vulnerable, which is exciting in the right circumstances.

Many people do sounding only part way. A few sound all the way into the bladder. As the sound stretches its way through the first of two sphincters, the donut shaped muscles that act as urinary valves, the feeling is exquisite. It feels somewhat like you need to pee, but different and better. The feeling is repeated as the sound passes through the second sphincter and into the bladder.

Once in the bladder, the sound can be slid in and out a couple of inches (5 cm), and the feeling doesn’t change much. For that reason, ribbed sounds are also available which stimulate the entire length of the urethra.

In a man, there are two major restrictions in diameter. The first is the peehole (meatus) itself, and then, just about a half-inch (12 mm) into the penis, there’s another tight area. If you make it past these, the sound can go all the way to a bend in the urethra. Hold the penis upright and pointing downward if the person is standing, and you can gently push past the bend. This is an important place to be gentle. You can easily damage the urethra at the bend.

Men will often, but not always, lose their erection while sounding. This is natural, and it doesn’t mean the men aren’t enjoying it.

Some people of both sexes like peehole stretching. This is like sounding, but depth is not important. They’re more interested in how much width they can pass through the peehole. Women are better at this than men because their urethras are more flexible.

A few women have stretched their urethras to the point where they can receive their partner’s penis into their bladder.

If you are not extremely careful with sounding, urination can be very painful for a few days afterward. Also, make sure not to introduce foreign substances that can irritate the urethra such as alcohol or shampoo.

27. Nude beach: There are two kinds of clothing-optional, also known as “nude” beaches. Some where the objective is pure nudity, and others where sex play is the norm. The first kind are more common. People go to be free of textiles, to socialize, and to get healthy sun exposure over their entire bodies. At least that’s what they say. Many are actually there to see and be seen. Any sort of sex play at this kind of beach is frowned upon, and in some cases legally restricted. Even having an erection is not a good idea. If an erection happens, the man should lay on a towel, or go at least belly deep into the water until it subsides. Men often jerk off while neck deep in the water. No one can see them, and it relieves their sexual tension.

The other kind of beach varies in the sexual intensity. Each beach has its own standards. At some, you can play in the bushes or on the cliffs near the beach. At others, people will discretely give each other handjobs or blowjobs if they are on a far end of the beach. At a few, people will have all kinds of sex on a blanket right in front of everyone. Typically, a dozen people will surround them and watch while touching themselves or outright masturbating.
If you are an exhibitionist and are at such a beach, being watched like that can be a huge turn-on.

In any case, taking your lover to a nude beach, assuming your lover is on board with it, can be a great aphrodisiac for later. Plus, you get a nice overall tan.

28. Vibrators: Vibrators come in many forms. Typical ones look like dildos and are battery powered. These can be inserted in a vagina or anus, or held against nipples, clits or glans for stimulation.

Many vibrators have settings so that speeds, intensities, and sometimes patterns of speeds and intensities can be varied.

One of the greatest gifts you can give a somewhat recalcitrant partner to spice up your sex life is a vibrator, assuming his or her temperament is right to receive such a gift. The next step, of course, is to offer helping your partner try it out.

A popular kind of vibrator called “Hitachi Wand,” has a cord, and is very powerful. It is a hand-held device with a large bulb on the end. It is powerful enough for back and large muscle therapy, but no doubt used more often for sexual stimulation. Accessories can be had for the Hitachi Wand. A popular one is a sleeve that fits over the penis.

Some vibrators are small enough that they can be inserted into body cavities. Some are so small, they can be inserted into a urethra. These usually have a thin cord that leads to an external controller and battery housing. Once the user is done, the little vibrator can be extracted from within the urethra by pulling on the cord. Remember that anything inserted into a urethra has to be smooth and sterile to avoid injuring the lining of the urethra or setting off an infection.

Another kind of vibrator is bulbous, designed to be inserted into vagina or rectum. It has a long stem so that it can be pulled back out. Commonly called a “Lush” or “OhMiBod,” These are controlled through a USB interface. The cool thing is that the recipient may not be the one controlling the vibrations. The partner can control the vibrator, or even someone across the Internet.

29. Internet: And speaking of the Internet, many people, especially those with an exhibitionist tendency, like to broadcast their sexual activities. You can start up your cam, and be seen by anyone in the world who so wishes for free at many websites. Two of the popular ones are Cam4.com, and Chaturbate.com. Another option is to video chat with one or more specific people using Skype or other services.

With some of these services, you can make money for going online and showing your sexual activity. The money usually isn’t great, so you’ll see a good many ‘performers’ from third-world countries, where the small amount they earn goes farther.

The most successful performers may not be the prettiest or youngest ones. They are the ones who show the most personality, or manage to make a show out of what they are doing. Sometimes, extreme sexual acts brings a larger audience. Threesomes are common. Quite possibly each member of a group will make more money than they could individually.

You might enjoy Omegle.com or ChatRoulette.com, in which people click a button to see random people. If you don’t like what you see, click to see someone else. If they don’t like you, they’ll click away. Every now and then, a random pair of people stay connected and have a good time.

The degree of implicitness varies as much as the people. Some will simply tease, staying clothed the whole time they are online. Others will do extremely masturbatory or sexual things. For instance there are two women who frequently appear. One ties the other up and ‘tortures’ her friend with an assortment of vibrators.

If you’d rather have a more permanent record of your activities, you can publish an MP4 video on many sites such as XHamster.com and XTube.com. If you do something people want to see, literally tens of thousands of people will see you being naked and sexual. If you like showing, that’s got to be good news!

30. Write about it: For your author, it is a turn-on to write about sexual acts. You can write anything from an R-rated love story to an XXX bondage scene. It is easy to publish your stories on SoloTouch.com if they involve masturbation. If your stories tend toward the bisexual or gay side, check out Nifty.org.

31. You may not be a writer, and you may not like hard-core porn. Sometimes, too much ordinary porn becomes boring. Sometimes going back to the softer stuff actually has a good effect. For instance, your author often enjoys seeing women in very short shorts, or G-strings in which the outer portion of the anus is visible. That’s just me. You probably have your own tastes.

What you may find more interesting than porn photos or videos is stories. Check out the stuff at the above-mentioned sites. You can become incredibly charged up reading the stuff at sites such as SoloTouch.com or Literotica.com.

32. Testicle slapping: This is not for everyone, but most men will enjoy a very light slapping of the testicles. Some men want it very intense. The balls can cause pain, but it takes considerable force to injure them. On the gentler end, light slapping is stimulating and of course pain-free. Try mixing in a light slap every now and then with blowjobs, handjobs, and such activities.

33. Vagina slapping: If you hit too hard, your recipient will be in too much pain, so work up slowly. Notice, too, that some women won’t care for this practice. Sometimes, for a willing recipient, and occasional slap mixed with other activities is the ticket. For others, a long series of continuous light taps is exciting. A few women, but not many, like breast slapping as well.

34. Super Glue: This stuff, under various brand names, can be tricky. It is possible to make a mess that requires a trip to the emergency room. The typical situation is gluing one’s fingers to each other or to an object. People often forget and touch their faces with glue on their fingers, leading to an embarrassing situation. So, with that in mind, be awfully careful about gluing your hands to your genitals. Imagine having to drive to the hospital in that situation.

If you want to play with Super Glue, the trick is to have acetone on hand. This chemical dissolves the glue. It is commonly found in nail polish remover.

Most of the time, when you use small amounts of super glue on genitals, it can be peeled off fairly easily. You might try gluing inner labia together, or you might like to stick sections of the scrotum together, or to the inner thighs. More experimental users may want to glue shut their meatus (peeholes). Proceed carefully, with safe little tests, just in case you could manage to get the perfect seal, and end up with something glued that you cannot unglue. See urethra blocking, below.

35. Urethra blocking: A man can ejaculate with a blocked urethra, but it can be painful. The spasms generally last longer, which is interesting, but the pressure against the end of the urethra, just before the meatus, if that’s where it is blocked, can sting.

Blocking urine flow can be dangerous because the urinary organs, especially the urethra, have a built-in instinctual tendency to push very hard to overcome a blockage. This is probably so that people with bladder stones will survive, and not die of a plugged urethra. But, the pressure may cause kidney problems, or at minimum, it can be surprisingly painful.

You can safely play with the effect, just to experience the involuntary contractions, by manually blocking urine flow. A woman can plug her finger into her meatus. A man can squeeze the end of the penis shut. This is best done just before starting to urinate, or after the flow has started. At first, it may not seem like much, but just keep holding it, and find out what happens! For health reasons, don’t go too far with this.

Be prepared to make a mess, because when you finally let go, the built up pressure and volume will spray a large quantity of urine a long distance.

36. Not orgasming: Playing with the idea of not having orgasms is often called “Tantric” in America and European countries. This is confused with a whole school of spiritual meditation originating in India. We have taken what we think is the best part, and left the rest. And that best part, is the idea of not orgasming. This has an interesting effect. If you have a sexual session, but have not orgasmed, and if you can manage to leave satisfied, you are charged up for the rest of the day if not longer. You may continue to feel horny, or maybe that will settle down. But you also feel invigorated, as if you have more strength, the air is crisper, colors are brighter, and you are more enthusiastic overall. The difference is slight, but it is noticeable.

Practitioners of ‘tantric’ sex can go days without orgasming. It is probably more dramatic for men than women, because for men, orgasm is a large physiological response including ejaculation. You would think that without ejaculating, you’d get clogged up or something, but that tends not to be the case. Your body knows what it is doing, and simply reabsorbs unused sperm and semen. If you really do need a release, and continue to deny it, you’ll ejaculate at night in what’s known as a ‘nocturnal ejaculation’ or ‘wet dream.’

37. Edging: The practice of edging goes hand-in-hand with tantric sex, or tantric masturbation. Edging is coming as close to orgasm as you can, stopping until the urge subsides, and continuing.

38. Mini-ejaculations: Well-practiced male edgers can sometimes bring themselves to mini-ejaculations, without spilling over into a full-blown ejaculation. They’ll have dry orgasms or release a single drop of cum, stay hard, and be able to do it again and again. The best way to get there is to bring yourself close to orgasm many times, then stop. But the trick is to then start up right away again, before the ejaculatory feeling totally subsides. At some point, you’ll feel the contractions of ejaculation, but nothing, or very little, comes out. It helps to stay as relaxed as possible. Don’t scrunch up all your muscles trying to resist. Instead, just see if you can let your body be super-calm, and loosen the muscles that would normally be involved in ejaculation.

39. Continuous orgasms: Another version, is continuous orgasm. Both men and women can practice this, but like edging, it is less profound in women. Bring yourself to the edge of orgasm then stop a few times, like ordinary edging. But instead of waiting, resume after only a few seconds. In time, evolve it to continuing stimulation, but very light stimulation. With practice, you can learn to control the muscles that cause the ejaculatory contractions in such a way that they still spasm, but nothing comes out. In time, you’ll feel yourself in orgasm, and be able to stay there, sometimes for minutes at a time.

This a good technique for solo sex, and once mastered, is great for a man to practice when within a woman.

40. G-spot stimulation: The G-spot is inside the vagina, along the front wall, about 2 inches (5 cm) from the opening. With your female partner laying on her back, you can insert two fingers with your palm facing upward. Rub them gently against the upper wall of the vagina until she has a crashing orgasm. The orgasm feels different, more in the belly, and perhaps more throughout the body, than a clitoral orgasm.

You may have trouble finding the exact spot. It will feel a bit spongier than the surrounding area. Practice makes perfect, and most women won’t mind practicing at all.

This can also be done to women in other positions. A good one is for the recipient to be on her hands and knees with her butt in the air. The practitioner inserts one or two fingers, with the palm facing downward, and pressing against the lower wall of the vagina.

41. A-spot stimulation: The A-spot is less well-known than the G-spot. In men and women, it is found about two inches inside the rectum on the anterior, or front wall. In a woman, it can induce an orgasm which at times is more spectacular than an ordinary orgasm. In men, it is a pressure against the prostate gland.

42. Prostate massage: The prostate gland manufactures and stores semen, the primary component of cum or ejaculate. The prostate is a walnut-sized area just about one full finger’s length into the rectum.

When pressed, it renders a nice feeling, as if one has to pee, but better. Continued pressure can cause some semen to travel through the urethra and out the penis. It is not an ejaculation, but rather fluid being expressed manually. It doesn’t feel orgasmic, but it does feel nice. The man can often feel the drips of semen working their way up and out of the urethra, which is a unique sensation. To enhance the effect, one can massage the prostate with one or two fingers. Some people like to use rubber gloves. A liberal amount of lubrication on the finger is a good idea. A partner may be reluctant to offer this treatment, because anything having to do with shit can be yuckky, but if willing, your partner will be very grateful.

43. CFNM: This stands for Clothed Female, Naked Male. Another version is CMNM, Clothed Male, Naked Male. Any scenario in which the man is without clothing in the presence of others who are clothed can be exhilarating for men. This can range from having female reporters in a men’s locker room, to a group of women restraining a man and performing sexual acts.

Depending on your situation, the following idea may seem great, or absolutely terrible: Arrange to have your man unclothed, perhaps seemingly by accident, in the presence of yourself and your sister.

44. Speculum play: The speculum is a device for prying open an opening of the body to see what’s inside. Speculums are frequently used by gynecologists to examine women’s genitals. They can be purchased on eBay and elsewhere. Professional ones are often made of stainless steel, but low-cost clear plastic ones are readily available.

The obvious use would be to open your partner’s vagina in a pretend exam. Leaving the speculum in place, one can explore the vagina in detail. It is excruciatingly enjoyable to experience an orgasm with the speculum in place. Be careful about pinching nearby areas or pressing sharp edges against her anatomy, as that would certainly take the fun out. Most specula have mechanisms to hold them open. Some women like to have the speculum slowly spread further and further, stretching the vaginal opening.

Many people of both sexes can enjoy a speculum applied in their anus as well, spreading it open and taking a good look inside.

Sometimes fluids can be introduced. Some people will pee in their partner’s speculum-spread opening. Others will introduce cold water on a hot day, or warm water on a cold day. Be careful about extreme temperatures. These parts of the body are quite temperature-sensitive.

A small medical speculum for examining nostrils is available. This can be used to spread open the peehole.

45. Cervical play: You can play with a woman’s cervix. That’s the volcano-shaped opening into the uterus, and is found at the back of the vaginal cavity. The hole itself in the cervix has the strange anatomical name of “os.” Sounds, pens, and Q-tips can be inserted into the cervix. However, with many women, it has an adverse effect. It can bring on a sudden ache. Be careful about leaving anything within the uterus or introducing bacteria. A serious toxic reaction can develop.

46. Feathers: Run a feather very lightly over any part of your partner, for a nice reaction. It can tickle, but in the right places, with the right light strokes, it can instantly induce erection of penis, nipples or clitoris. Elsewhere, it is simply a very sexy feeling. Some places to try are the soles of the feet, the tops of the feet, the inner thighs, the buttocks, the top of the buttcrack, the armpits, the nipples of both men and women, the neck, the forehead, the chin, the neck, the back, and of course the genitals.

47. Food insertions: Consider sticking cucumbers, carrots, and other firm fruit into your partner’s orifices. Sometimes, after a period of time to get used to a skinny fruit or vegetable, the recipient starts to crave more. For instance, starting with a thin zucchini, you might build up to a fairly large one, to the mutual joy of both parties. A caution with food play is to avoid pushing anything all the way in that may not easily come back out.

48. Frenulum pull: There is a little fold or crease of skin on the underside of the penis just behind the glans. This is called the “frenulum.” The term frenulum can also be applied to the little bit of tissue under the middle of the tongue, and the connection between the middle of the inside of the upper lip, and upper gum.

Those other frenuluae don’t have much effect in sex play, but grabbing your partner’s penile frenulum and stretching a bit can be surprisingly delightful. It is best done dry because with any sort of lube, getting a good grip is difficult. For best results, pinch it firmly, being careful not to have it fold over itself which would be painful, and being careful to avoid fingernails. Lift up the penis by the frenulum, and pivot it forward against its natural resistance a little bit. If that isn’t sufficient, you can also stroke the frenulum up and down as you hold a pinch of it between your thumb and the side of your first finger. Many partners will orgasm just from this.

49. Hand-free orgasm: Bring your partner to the brink of orgasm, then let go, as the orgasm hits. The partner may be excitingly frustrated by this, and so it is often called “ruined orgasm.” Interestingly, whereas men usually need a refractory period after ejaculating, sometimes they can stay hard and cum again after a ruined orgasm.

50. Nipples: Your author may be singing to the choir here, but if you’ve never kissed or sucked on nipples, it’s something you need to try. They seem directly connected to the genitals in both males and females. Yes, some women are surprised to learn that male nipples are usually an erogenous zone. You can start with the lightest tickling of nipples, running your fingers around and over the bump in the middle of each nipple. Then kiss in the same way, running your tongue over the whole area. Some people like considerable pressure, by squeezing the nipples with fingertips, clamps, or teeth. Light nibbling on nipples is remarkably delightful to some recipients. However, some hate it!

51. Needle play: This is usually assumed to be a risky behavior in which needles are actually punctured through your partner’s body. Most people wouldn’t care for that, but a few love it. It can be extended further to piercings, which are jewelry worn in permanent punctures.

A much milder form of needle play does not involve puncturing and is not at all dangerous. Instead, use a needle to very lightly stroke or poke your partner in just the right places. The sensation can range anywhere from a tickle, to light stinging. Good places for light needle play are the top of the ass crack, the glans (tip of the penis), the nipples, the outer and inner labia, the exterior of the anus, and the clitoris. Needle play may be fun on the back of your partner’s hands, shoulders, buttocks and elsewhere, as well.

For this kind of play, sewing needles are just right. Medical needles are designed to puncture skin. Sewing needles are designed to not puncture skin. You’d have to press much harder with a sewing needle to penetrate the skin.

52. Enema: You may think of an enema as a strictly medical procedure. It can be enjoyed under the right circumstances. Generally, you want to use a non-toxic material, warmed to near body temperature. However, on a cold day, it might be nice to be just a bit warmer than body temperature, and on a warm day, it can be moderately colder. The rectum is sensitive to radical temperature changes, so use caution. Forcing your partner to hold a large enema for as long as possible can be fun. Be prepared for a mess. Many people who play with enemas combine it with medical play (“playing doctor”).

53. Bladder washing: While completely not recommended, some people play with bladder enemas in which fluid is introduced into the bladder. Not only can this cause toxic reactions, and risk damaging the ureters and kidneys, it can also instigate a nasty infection.

54. Catheter play: The usual way to do a bladder washing is with a catheter. This is a long flexible tube that is introduced through the urethra all the way into the bladder. It is an extension of a practice discussed earlier known as ‘sounding.’ Catheter play is usually done in one direction only – to empty the bladder, not fill it.

Catheter play must be sterile. It is easy to introduce an infection that’s hard to fight. Use lots of lube, and introduce the catheter slowly.

You can’t buy a catheter in a typical drug store. The best bet is to get them online. Resist the urge to use aquarium tubing or anything that seems like it might work. It can scratch the urethral lining, or introduce bacteria. For best results, use a new catheter that’s been stored in its sterile packaging.

Most catheters are ‘retention catetheters.’ They are complex double tubes. One carries urine out of the bladder, but the other is an air or liquid channel. After the catheter is inserted, a syringe is inserted in a plug on the outside end, and saline is squirted in, filling the tip of the catheter, which expands like a balloon. Now, the catheter won’t slip back out of the bladder.

As the catheter passes through the urethra, the feeling is unique. Men especially enjoy the sensation, because their urethras are much longer at around 14 inches (35 cm). Stinging is common if the lube is insufficient, or if the catheter is introduced too quickly. As the catheter passes through the urinary sphincters, it gives one a delicious feeling similar to the need to urinate, but somehow more exciting.

Many recipients who receive catheters report that they like the vulnerability of having something shoved deep into them by someone else. Furthermore, their ability to control when they urinate is taken away. Instead, they get to pee or not, based on when the person in charge opens or closes the outside end of the tube.

Catheters should be removed as slowly as they are installed.

Expect a stinging sensation upon urination for the next couple of days. The body adapts, so if one does catheter play often, the stinging sensation disappears entirely.

You may have been catheterized in a hospital. It probably stung going in, coming out, and afterward. That’s because the practitioner in charge didn’t take the time to do it gently.

55. Quickie: If you haven’t had a reason to have very rapid intercourse recently, you may want to play with a quickie. Find out how fast you and your partner can achieve satisfaction.

56. Bondage: There are two versions of bondage that might interest you. The more typical one is simply tying your mate to a bed, or a chair, so that the person cannot escape your ministrations. Like so many sexual techniques, your partner may like, or hate this. For most of those who like it, the vulnerability excites them.

Make sure to establish a safeword. That’s a word your victim, I mean partner, can say that will cause you to stop. This can avoid injury and even potential psychological damage.

The other form of bondage is genital tying. If done loosely, more ceremonial than physical, it is harmless, and yet can carry a nice sexual charge. The breasts, nipples, clitoris, inner labia, penis and testicles can also be bound so tightly that circulation is cut off.

Whereas it is interesting to see breasts or testicles turn blue due to lack of circulation, this is dangerous and should only be practiced for short periods of time by people who have studied all the potential repercussions. For instance, using a string or cord that’s too thin can cause damage to internal organs. A common problem that’s not deadly, but still may call for medical attention, is that cysts will develop on the spermatic cords.

If you must experiment with genital bondage, it is better to use silk scarves or large diameter soft ropes, and tie only lightly.

An interesting effect can be had by tightly binding the penis while it is soft. If the penis is tied half-way along its length, the bottom half can become erect, and the top will stay flaccid. With the binding as close to the scrotum as possible, the entire external penis will stay soft. It can still be stimulated to orgasm even thought it will stay entirely soft, which is interesting. The ejaculation will be blocked, which may be a bit painful.

Binding the clitoris until it turns blue, then releasing it can result in an interesting pins and needles tickle for a short while.

Tying testicles so they are more accessible for manipulation is fun for those who like more intensity, but they are more prone to injury. Testicles are designed to be loose in the scrotum, so they will simply move out of harm’s way when hit or squeezed. To bind them eliminates this protection.

57. Ballbusting: This practice can range from ceremonial and light, to very intense, depending on the desires of the recipient. Ballbusting can mean hitting or kicking the testicles, or squeezing by hand or with a device, such as a testicle vise. A testicle vise is commonly made out of clear plastic plates with a cutout for the penis. The plates are clamped around the testicles, and drawn close together with bolts and wingnuts.

Testicles are tough, but there are limits, so studying up on the safety of this practice is recommended.

58. Strip poker: This is a game that can be played with two or more people. Actually, it can be a solosexual activity as well. The idea is that the loser of each hand loses an article of clothing. Once a person has lost everything, and then loses another hand, the others can issue requests. Exactly how those requests are dealt with is up to the players, with a decision being made in advance. For instance, a person might have three passes – meaning the person can turn down any three requests, and the play passes to the next hand.

To speed things up, you can play strip blackjack instead, or simply draw cards, with the person holding the lowest card having to remove an item of clothing.

59. Post-orgasm torture: This is generally a technique for males, since for most women, it has little effect. For a man, however, it can be excitingly grueling. After a man ejaculates, his penis will usually become so sensitive that any further touching is just terrible. It feels something like an awful tickle. For the adventurous man, it can be fun to continue genital stimulation after ejaculation for as long as he can stand it. Occasionally, the man will respond by staying hard, or getting soft, then hardening again, and can have another ejaculation a few minutes later. More often, the pleasure disappears, and the man will want you to stop.

For a typical man interested in post-orgasm torture, he’ll want to try it every time. Before he cums, he is excited by the idea. After he comes, reality sets in, and he can’t stand it.

60. BDSM: This stands for Bondage and SadoMasochism, or Bondage, Domination and SadoMasochism. Bondage speaks for itself. Sado masochism is a combination of sadism, in which you inflict pain, and masochism, in which people wants pain inflicted on themselves.

In most cases BDSM is entirely ceremonial. Most people don’t actually want to hurt someone or be hurt. But we like to play with the edges. A little pain, and enjoyable in some way, as long as it is safe, can be OK.

The brain is a funny thing. Evidently, the areas that register pain, and those that relate to sex are adjacent, and as such, we can get our signals crossed. It is a natural thing, but still, rather weird.

BDSM is whatever the participants want it to be. It can involve bondage, spanking, name-calling, tickling or even pinching and punching. For some, the fear of being hurt adds to the excitement.

Most often, in BDSM, you have tops and bottoms. A person will usually be one or the other. Originally, ‘top’ meant the person who pushed a penis into the other person, the ‘bottom,’ In modern times, ‘top’ has come to mean a person who administers any of a wide variety of techniques, and the ‘bottom’ is the recipient.

Another, mostly interchangeable set of terms is ‘dominatrix’ or ‘dom,’ as the top, and ‘sub’ as the bottom.

Some couples will continue their play outside the bedroom, even going so far as to have the top dominate the bottom while at parties, shopping, or just walking down the street.

61. Scenarios: Your partner may be very interested in acting out scenarios. Themes that are based on the same general idea every time are more common than acting out entirely different scenes each time. Common themes that people enjoy playing out are parent-child, medical situations, and authority, such as one person being a jailer and the other being a prisoner.

62. Cosplay: This means “costume play.” Some people are greatly excited by dressing up in clothes that enhance their sexual interest. One or both members of a couple may want to dress up as a nurse, jailer, teacher, slut, or in leather.

‘Leather’ is a big part of cosplay for some. Many accessories, generally made from leather, and almost always black in color are available at sex shops. Restraints, leashes, hats, jackets, pants, and all sorts of smaller items, such as whips can be had.

‘Leather,’ or ‘leather scene,’ has taken on a meaning of its own, often referring nebulously to BDSM in general, the practitioners of BDSM, and especially when leather articles are worn or used.

Sometimes couples will take cosplay out of the bedroom, attending street fairs, or just going out in public in costume. For instance, you might see a leather-clad dom controlling her sub with a leash at a LGBTQ street fair.

63. Three-ways: This is as it sounds, sex with three people. Generally it means two of one sex, and one of the other. It can also be three of the same sex. It is dangerous for relationships. The two-against-one dynamic can rear its ugly head, and unexpected jealousies can develop.

If your psychology is stable enough to experiment with three-ways, interesting opportunities come about. For instance, one person can experience a four-hand massage. A person can accept double-penetration, which usually means a woman will have a penis in her vagina while entertaining another one at the same time in her butt.

64. Electro-stimulation: also known as estim. This is the application of electrical current to a person’s body. The most common option is a device known as a TENS unit, which stands for Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation. Originally used for pain relief, it has been extended into sexual play.

People with chronic back or muscle pain apply electrically conductive pads to their skin in the vicinity of the pain, attach wires, and send electricity through the skin from one pad to the other originating from the TENS unit. The pain can magically vanish. The TENS unit has controls to vary the intensity and frequency of the electricity. Some also control patterns of varying frequencies and intensities.

When the TENS apparatus is applied to the genitals, interesting new sensations and spectacular orgasms can result.

Common applications including putting pads on the outer labia, on the top and bottom or either side of the penis, or across the buttocks. Less frequently, currents are sent across the thighs, breasts or testicles. One must be careful to avoid sending an electrical current across the head or heart. Death could occur.

Most people experienced with estim prefer subtle application. It isn’t supposed to hurt, but can if the intensity is turned up too far. Sometimes, it is so subtle that additional stimulation is added, such as a handjob while the current is being applied.

The pads and connections should be secure, since a bad connection can sting or burn, or suddenly breaking a connection can feel literally shocking.

In addition to pads, other attachments are available, such as a wire that wraps around the penis just behind the glans, or anal and urethral probes or plugs.

Hands-free orgasms are quite common with electrical stimulation.

Some people make their own current generators. Applying the current usually sent to audio speakers directly to a person’s body can be interesting as the music literally moves you. If making your own equipment, you need to be careful to limit the amount of power being applied, especially the voltage.

65. Anal intercourse: This is a mainstay for most gay couples, but those heterosexual couples who start to play with it often find they’ve been missing out. Many women orgasm more easily, and more intensely from anal intercourse than conventional intercourse.

For new practitioners, going very slowly is important. Having a hard penis suddenly shoved in your ass could otherwise be painful. It is best to start with a lot of lube, and introduce a single finger into the recipient’s anus. Then add a second finger.

When it is time to apply the penis, go very slowly, and be prepared to stop, wait a while, or even until another day, until the recipient is ready.

Most people use rubbers. Even a long-time couple who are disease-free may prefer a condom to prevent icky material getting on the man’s penis.

If there is any risk at all of disease, a condom is required. Even that can’t be trusted fully. They sometimes break or come off in the recipient’s rectum. Anal sex is the number one way AIDS is transmitted in sex.

A stiff penis is required. Anal penetration is nearly impossible if the penis isn’t fully ready.

66. Lubes: Some people do all their sexual play without any lubrication other than natural body secretions. Everyone else uses various lubes, lotions or oils. You might get a kick out of trying different materials to experiment with different viscosities, thicknesses, and other characteristics. Different odors can make a huge different. You might like something minty, or something yummy, like coconut oil. Of course, anything you play with should be non-toxic.

67. Tickling: Like so many of these techniques, tickling can be loved or hated by your partner. Very light tickling anywhere on the body can be sexually stimulating. Tickling on the genitals can be exquisite. You can experiment with any form you both enjoy, such as tickling the soles of the feet, tying the recipient to the bed, running your fingers lightly over your partner’s back while fucking him or her doggy style, or tickling the scrotum or outer labia with a feather.

One surprising yet very enjoyable tickle when just starting sexual play can be done with a single sheet of toilet paper. Dangle the corner over, but not quite touching your partner’s genitals. Slowly lower it while waving it back and forth, until it is just touching. The best places to do this are on the outer labia, scrotum, or best of all the frenulum. That’s the little fold of skin on the underside of the penis just below the glans. Tickling this part of a flaccid penis will almost always result in a full erection within a minute.

68. Cold hands: Almost everyone will tell you that being touched with cold hands is miserable. The exception can be on the scrotum, in the ass crack, and sometimes the outer labia. In those places, cold fingers can be delicious.

69. Nudity at home: Make sure the house is warm enough so it will be enjoyable. Then, cook and eat your breakfast, putter around, do the wash, watch some TV, eat lunch, and so on, all without clothes. Seemingly simple, this can be a huge turn-on.

70. Sixty-nine: This refers to a couple laying so that one’s head is near the others genitals, and vice-versa. Each is able to kiss and lick the other. Sometimes this can lead to simultaneous orgasms, but almost always is very enjoyable.

71. Skinny dipping: You may have had times in your youth when you went swimming with friends and suits were not required. This was more common with boys than girls. Later on, perhaps in your college days, you and your friends of both sexes may have gone skinny dipping and it may have been very sexual. What about now? What would happen if you and your mate found a secluded place to take all your clothes off and enjoy a nice swim?

72. Unnecessary hotel room: Having sex in a hotel is a real treat for couples who do not do it often. You may find that renting a hotel room, even if in your own town, is a sexy way to spend a night.

73. Posing for art: Whether or not you or your partner have any artistic talent doesn’t matter. One of you can pose for the other, nude, of course. What’s surprising about this is that the art you or your mate create may be of better quality than you expected.

74. Camping trip: The point of a camping trip isn’t to get out in nature. It’s to get in a nice, cozy sleeping bag together in front of a roaring campfire.

75. Rape play: This, too, isn’t for everyone. Many women, and a few men are fascinated by the concept of rape, and would enjoy play acting a rape scene.

76. Cross-dressing: More men than women enjoy cross-dressing. This is probably because it is relatively OK for women to dress in the same way as men in many settings. A woman can wear blue-jeans, a button-up shirt, even a full suit with a tie, and it’s all OK. A man in a skirt or a dress, is an entirely different matter.

Although most men aren’t into cross-dressing, it is very common, It doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with your guy, unless the same thing is wrong with millions of other men throughout the world. All these guys have all been fascinated by women’s clothing at one time or another. Help him out by setting up a situation in which he can wear a woman’s clothes, and see what it does, and where it leads. If he’s not shy about his fascination, he’ll be so thankful that you let him play.

77. Photoshoot: Take pictures of your partner in erotic settings, and enjoy looking at them every few years.

78. Naked day around the house: Nothing brings a couple together in a sexual way better than spending a day naked around the house. Some Saturday, or a time when you are both off from work, you might plan to spend the whole day without clothes.

79. Peehole examination: When is the last time you looked, really studied your partner’s peehole? This can be very erotic for the recipient.

80. Butt plug: People of all sexes can enjoy butt plugs. They come in many forms. Some are thin and long. Others are quite fat. Some are so wide that the average person can’t use them. You author’s favorite kind are the ones that are self-retaining. They are wide as they go in, then have a narrow neck, and end in a wide handle or base. This kind of butt plug takes time to insert because it stretches the anus very wide, but once in place will stay nicely, keeping the anus partially stretched open. One way to stretch yourself over a but plug is to set it on the floor, and slowly, carefully, sit on it.

People tend to leave butt plugs in place while continuing with other sorts of play. Conventional intercourse while the woman is wearing a butt plug is particularly enjoyable for her, especially when she is orgasming. She can often feel her contractions working against the plug.

The man can also wear a butt plug when having intercourse or even just while masturbating. Men, too, can feel the orgasmic contractions more strongly when a butt plug is in place.

People will often insert a butt plug, pull up their pants, and go about their day while wearing it. This keeps one sexually charged up all day long.

There is a tendency to get used to butt plugs and want to experiment with ever wider ones. One kind accommodates this very nicely. It is inflatable, and comes with an air pump so it will become as wide as you want.

81. Injaculation: Men have experimented with what’s frequently called ‘injaculation’ for millennia. The idea is you block ejaculation, generally by pressing an area of the perineum between the scrotum and anus. Pressing sufficiently to block ejaculation is difficult, and can be slightly painful for the man. When you get the right spot, the semen runs harmlessly backward into his bladder, to be voided next time he urinates. Some medical professionals say injaculation is dangerous, but this author knows of no reported cases of someone suffering consequences.

82. Clothespins: The spring-loaded kind of clothespins can be fun. You can apply one or more to your partners nipples, inner thighs, shoulders, upper arms, and of course the genitals. The bravest of partners will tolerate one or more clothespins on their inner labia, clitoris, frenulum, scrotum or glans. It hurts, but only a little bit. Interestingly, after leaving a clothespin on for a while, it really stings for a moment when it is removed.

83. Saline injection: Another procedure provided for your amusement, but totally not recommended, is saline injection. This sterile medical liquid can be injected into the outer labia, breasts and penis for temporary expansion. The most common place for saline injection is the scrotum. The scrotum can be made surprisingly huge and heavy. Within a few hours, the saline is absorbed by the body. It is a great way to contract an infection that will be hard to fight.

You may find that a few men have injected a small amount of saline directly into their testicles. It is supposedly painful, and of course quite dangerous.

84. Temperature play: Your partner may enjoy having warm or cold water poured on his or her genitals. Of course very hot water is dangerous. A very slow drip of very cold water can be quite exciting on a hot day.

85. Waterpik: Perhaps you have one of those dental contraptions that sprays water in your mouth to clean your teeth and gums. Starting with the lightest setting, and keeping the nozzle a few inches away, try spraying warm water on your friend’s sexual organs or elsewhere. Avoid the temptation to spray water into a peehole, since an infection can be introduced.

86. Hot wax: Light a candle, and drip hot wax from at least a foot away onto your partner. It is ouchy, but not terribly so. Some people really like this. Pouring hot wax on the genitals, especially the clit or scrotum is a given. You may also find it erotic to drip wax on your partner’s back, legs, or stomach.

87. Nibbling: Some people enjoy light nibbling with the front teeth of the inner labia, clitoris, scrotum, and penis. An especially good target is the corona of the penis, the ridge around the back of the glans. Where nibbling seems to work best, and is most often practiced, is on the nipples. There are a few men who like hard nibbling on their nipples.

88. Sucking testicles: Some men like having their testicles sucked into their partner’s mouth, and sometimes massaged with the tongue.

89. Blowjob: You may already be an expert at giving blowjobs, otherwise known as sucking on the penis. If you’re not, the one thing you want to remember is to keep your teeth away from the skin. Most men really enjoy blowjobs. Using a lot of saliva makes it more fun. For those who enjoy doing so, the penis can be sent deep into the throat. With a bit of practice, the gag reflex can be overcome, much to the delight of the man. Literally sucking on the penis has a nice effect, and you’ll find you can build a strong vacuum in the mouth. Another nice effect is running your tongue over the peehole, and even pressing it partially into the peehole. You’ll want to be cautious about getting saliva deep into the urethra, because that could start an inflammation.

Also, avoid the temptation to blow air into the urethra. This can be done, and the urethra will inflate. The air then releases with a raspberry sound, which can be interesting. By pulsing the air as you blow it into the urethra, you can cause the urethra to fill with air all the way down to the bladder. It is even possible to force air into the bladder. The problem with all this is that you can easily introduce bacteria, resulting in an infection that can be hard to overcome. It could even, in rare cases, be fatal.

90. Cockring: Any sort of rubber, plastic, cloth or metal ring can be placed around the base of the penis. Some cockrings are rigid and difficult to apply and remove. Others use Velcro or other means to close around the penis.

A mild application of a cockring can maintain an erection. The veins that return blood to the rest of the body are partially blocked, so the erection cannot easily subside. Binding in this way for more than a short while is dangerous. The blood can clot, and then you have a medical emergency.

Very tight binding can cause the penis to stay flaccid, even during an orgasm, which is quite unusual. However, ejaculation is blocked, which can be painful.

Cockrings can be applied behind or in front of the testicles. Generally, the adjustable or openable kind of cockrings are used behind the testicles, because otherwise a ring has to be quite large to get the testicles to pass through. Just putting the ring on and taking it off can be an erotic experience, if you like testicle manipulation.

A number of unfortunate men have tried using small solid rings, such as wedding bands as cockrings. They apply the ring, the penis erects, and then they can’t get it off, resulting in an embarrassing trip to the hospital, where bolt cutters or even disk grinders have to be used. The man in this situation becomes quite a spectacle in the emergency room, as many personnel feel a need to watch the procedure. Not generally a good day for the patient.

By far the most common use of cockrings is for decoration. They are loose, only lightly encircling the penis. They can have a placebo effect, meaning that just by being conscious of the ring, the man maintains an erection. Cockrings are often seen when exhibitionist men congregate, such as nude beaches, bathhouses or permissive LGBT affairs.

Advanced Male Masturbation

Peegasm, Dry Ejaculation, Glans Blame and other Advanced Male Masturbation Techniques

Copyright 2017, Jeremy J. Watson

Disclaimer: This material is written by an author with no medical training. Consult a proper professional for any sexual health issues. Do not engage in the activities described within this website until you are sure they are safe for you. The author, and everyone associated with this website, assume no responsibility for your use of this information.

Table of Contents

Why

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In the not too distant past, masturbation was considered a sinful practice by the majority of the world’s population. The primary reason is that religious leaders of the past were given bad information and were confused. They said it was bad because everyone else said it was bad.

Or, maybe there was a plan. If you can be made to feel guilty about something, they’re easier to control. What could be better to cause guilt about than solo sex? Since almost everyone did it, the leaders could control everyone.

We are fortunate that attitudes about masturbation are shifting in modern times. Now, medical professionals, social researchers, and even some members of the clergy say masturbation is good. You owe it to yourself to masturbate frequently.

Why? There are several good reasons:

It is good for health. Jerking off generally lowers blood pressure, although it’s momentarily higher when you’re actually wanking. Controversial studies seem to show that masturbation lowers instances of certain types of cancer.

If you masturbate instead of having an assortment of sexual partners, your chances of catching sexually transmitted diseases, anything from crabs to deadly illnesses, is just about zero.

It keeps people from becoming so horny that they will make social blunders, such as telling off-color jokes in the wrong times and places, chasing someone around that they normally wouldn’t be interested in, or even spending time with narcissists and others who are not good as friends.

For men in relationships, it makes it possible to be satisfied without demanding sex from a mate who might not always be in the mood.

It helps develop a sense of self-esteem, as long as you are not combating incorrect attitudes that were inculcated since you were too young to know better.

This self-esteem, or can-do attitude, can become so strong that you are able to act from your own internal knowledge, rather than being told what to do by others.

So dudes, go ahead and jerk off! This book will give you great ideas to make the whole process more enjoyable.

Edging

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So many men know about edging that I’m reluctant to include it in a book on ‘advanced’ masturbation techniques, but some don’t know about edging, and many, perhaps the majority, don’t really understand edging.

The basic idea is you bring yourself to the bring of ejaculation, but stop just short. After a brief period to calm down, you do it again, and repeat the process until you run out of time, or slip over the edge and ejaculate.

The part that many don’t understand makes it frustrating for them. They’re thinking they need to ‘cum’ in order to be satisfied, and all this edging business is just the frustration on the cake.

If you edge with a brand-new attitude, that building up to cumming, that just maintaining an erection for a while, is enjoyable in itself, it opens doors such as the ones discussed in the next three sections. Edging is the foundation.

Some ‘experts’ will edge for hours, enjoying an afternoon of self-pleasure, without cumming. Some will end the session satisfied, never having ejaculated at all. The majority, however, do like to have a strong ejaculation at the end. That can be the real frosting on the cake.

In other words, frosting by itself is OK, but having a lot of cake with it is much better.

Separating Orgasms and Ejaculations

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You may believe that in men, orgasms and ejaculations are the same thing. Or, you may believe more accurately, that orgasm is the feeling, including the wonderful chills and pulsations, but ejaculation referrs to the expulsion of semen. That’s exactly right. But you may also believe that they always go together. For inexperienced men, they do. However, it is possible to separate the two, and have only one or the other.

If you’ve ever had a prostate massage, then you may have experienced a small expulsion of semen without having an orgasm. That’s not quite what I’m talking about, but it does show that they don’t have to occur together. Men who have practiced can have orgasms without ejaculations, often called dry orgasms or dry ejaculations. The distinct advantage with this separation is that they can stay hard and orgasm over and over again, without losing interest.

In some circumstances besides prostate massage, men can truly ejaculate without orgasming. Sometimes after a long edging session, or using the techniques discussed below, during a masturbatory or sexual session, they’ve been close to orgasm, or have had dry orgasms several times. Their prostates become so full of fluid, it just starts flowing out, without contractions. Through this, too, one can maintain an erection, and continue to have more fun.

Mini-Orgasms

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Once you become an old hand at edging, you might like to play with mini-orgasms. The idea is that with practice, you learn to come closer and closer to the ejaculatory edge. By maintaining an exceptional calmness, especially in the muscles in your pelvic region that you’d normally tense when you ejaculate, you can go ahead and slip over the edge, but little or nothing comes out. A man who is experienced in mini-orgasms can go two or more hours, wanking most of the time, and have several occasions when just a single drip of cum (“semen”) emerges from the peehole (technically called “meatus”).

Most men who practice mini-orgasms will have two or three minis, then suddenly, they ‘lose it’ and go over the big edge, finishing with a full-blown ejaculation.

If you have trouble mastering this technique, practice helps. Try to maintain as hypnotic of a state as you can, and learn to get closer and closer to the edge without going over. Finally, when you do go over, it’s just one drop. You stay hard and excited. The first time it happens, you really do get a can-do attitude!

Dry Ejaculations

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Taking the idea of mini-orgasms a step further, imagine what would happen if you could orgasm several times in a session, yet nothing at all would come out. That’s quite possible. Your author has become so good at dry ejaculations that he doesn’t take toilet paper, towels, or tissue to bed. He can always have dry orgasms until he’s satisfied, then fall easily asleep. His wife appreciates this when she’s not in the mood to play.

So, here’s what you do: Just like in mini-orgasms above, you edge and bring yourself very close to the edge while doing your best to remain absolutely calm. When you are close to the edge, stop as you normally would, but then resume almost right away. After only a few seconds. Stay close to the edge. Don’t back off so much. Your high points will be closer together. With practice, you’ll be delighted to find you can have orgasms, complete with the urethral contractions, yet nothing comes out. These orgasms are seventy percent as strong as full-blown ejaculatatory orgasms, but the big advantage is you can have as many in a row as you want.

Continuous Orgasm

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OK, let’s take dry orgasms a step further. How would you like an orgasm that goes on, non-stop, for minutes at a time? Here’s what you do:

Just like dry orgasms in the section above, take yourself to the brink several times, but instead of stopping for a second or two, don’t stop at all. Just reduce the stimulation. For this to work, you need to be acutely aware of what you’re feeling. As soon as you feel the inevitable orgasm building up, reduce your input, but don’t stop. With practice, the feeling won’t go away. However, at first, you may lose the edge and have to build back up. Once you get the knack of continuous orgasms, you can bring yourself to the brink, feel the orgasmic delight – you know the tightening feeling in the balls, the glandular response in the lower stomach, even the chills running from the top of your head to your toes, and you can keep up the light stimulation of your dick, and voila, you’re in orgasm, and you’re staying there! Oh, at first, you may be in the orgasm for only a few seconds longer than usual, but again, practice is the key. In time, you can bring yourself into orgasm, and stay there literally forever. You’ll have contractions and everything, but nothing will squirt out, and you’ll be able to vary your stimulation to stay right within the continuing feelings.

You’ll find something unexpected helps you out with this technique: Your own body helps. Evidently, on an unconscious level, it knows what you’re trying to do, so once you experience the technique a few times, it becomes incredibly easy to maintain it. It’s as if your body learns that you want to stay in orgasm and has adjusted itself to help you. Talk about can-do attitude!

Frenulum Pulling

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Now, on to something you can enjoy the very first time, with no practice at all. That’s frenulum pulling. For those who are not familiar, the frenulum is a little crease of skin on the underside of your penis just behind the glans. Glans just means ‘head of the penis.’ Whether or not you’re circumcised, you have this little bit. It might look like a crease, or a fold, or a bit of extra foreskin hanging down.

Gently squeezing the frenulum between your thumb and the side of your first finger, pull upward and hold. At first, it may not feel like much, but just keep holding. If you’re already hard, pull away from your belly, and toward your feet, resisting the natural limitation on the penis’s downward movement when hard.

After gently pulling, you may find that rather forceful pulling is nice. Some men like the forceful version, some do not. Many men can have ejaculations from simply pulling on the frenulum for a while.

If you engage in mutual masturbation, have a friend pull and hold your frenulum. You’ll be amazed how nice it can feel after fifteen seconds or so.

Frenulum pulling can also be a great technique during foreplay, before you get to the orgasmic things.

Feathers

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If you’re not hard and want to be, one of the best ways to get erect quickly is to very lightly brush a feather over the frenulum.

It is important to do it very, very lightly at first. Many guys won’t even touch themselves with the first strokes of the feather. Instead, they’ll lower the feather slowly, until it is making only the lightest possible contact.

To add variety, you might start by lightly brushing the scrotum, or even just the hairs on the scrotum first. Or, backing up even further, assuming you are not too ticklish, start by running the feather over your thighs, then the scrotum, working only eventually to the frenulum. You can also run it over the glans, but it is the frenulum that reacts most vividly.

This works especially well if someone else does it to you.

Once the penis is hard, you’ll usually see it jump an inch or two with each contact of the feather.

Resist the urge to press the feather down harder and harder. This usually does not enhance the effect, and generally weakens the effect.

Guys, this is a teaching moment. Have you been with a woman who says you’re being too rough with her vagina, even though you think you’re being incredibly gentle? I think most men have experienced that. If you can do this feather thing to her, she’ll love it. This is the kind of pressure, or more specifically, lack of pressure, that most women truly enjoy. But just to make life difficult, women, like men, are not all built the same. Some may not care for it at all, and some may prefer the rough treatment. Furthermore, a typical woman who likes extremely light play at first will usually like it at least a little rougher later on.

For your woman, if you don’t have a feather handy, the same extremely light touch with your index finger or tongue will have a similar effect.

For anyone, especially men, if you don’t have a feather, or even if you do, a less elegant item works just as well, or even better, because the item can impart an even lighter touch. The item: A single sheet of toilet paper, held diagonally by one corner, so the opposite corner is ever so lightly touching the frenulum.

Needles

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You may think I’m talking about needle play here. That’s where people will actually stick needles in their genitals and elsewhere.

No, I’m talking about something the average man will enjoy better. Using an ordinary sewing needle, run the tip very lightly over the glans, scrotum or elsewhere. You might also play with very light poking. Generally, a large needle works better than a small one. One place your author enjoys gentle poking is just inside the peehole. Another good area is around, but not in, the anus.

Sewing needles are ideal for this, especially compared to medical injection or acupuncture needles. That’s because the sewing needle has a polished, rounded point designed for moving between the fibers of cloth. That same rounded design is less likely to scratch or puncture a human. If you’ve ever tried to push a sewing needle through human skin, you may have been surprised how much force was needed.

If you play with others, having your mate run a needle lightly over parts of your body, including your nipples, and even over upper arms, thighs and buttocks.

The other kind of needle play, in which men will actually puncture themselves, is known as ‘play piercing.’ The risk of infection is high, so this is not recommended.

If you must play, a first piercing can be from about a quarter-inch (6mm) inside the peehole, through the bottom of the urethra and out the penis at the underside of the glans just ahead of the front of the frenulum. Then, you might try puncturing up, through the top of the meatus and out the head of the penis.

Some men like puncturing their nipples, and scrotums. Some will pass needles entirely through their glans. Men who have no fear of doctors, hospitals, and all sorts of complications due to infection may puncture their testicles. The scrotum hurts when punctured, but the testicles themselves feel very little from puncturing. If the needle doesn’t puncture the testicle easily, however, the squeezing pressure as the needle is pushed will hurt.

You may want to avoid passing needles into or through the corposa cavernosa. These are the two main spongy channels that fill with blood to cause erections. Profuse bleeding can result.

Glans Blame

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What the Japanese often call glans blame is more often known as apple polishing, palming, or simply glans rubbing. This is a technique that some men will love, and others would hate. That’s because it can be a very intense feeling. It is like an extreme tickle that makes you squirm or even yell. You want to get away from it.

Therefore, glans blame generally works best with two or more people. Sometimes even bondage is necessary.

The main technique is to wrap the fingers of one hand around the shaft of the penis, and then rub the palm of the other hand over the glans.

Even though it is nearly impossible to bear, many men like it very much. That’s because they like to ‘see how much they can take,’ or because although intense, it does feel great, or because it transmutes.

That’s right. If you put up with glans blame long enough, the feeling changes from unbearable, to something gentler and quite pleasurable. It is a sort of ‘gotta pee’ mixed with ‘gonna cum’ feeling. However, neither usually happens.

That being said, your author did rub one guy who suddenly lost control and peed all over the place, and some will ejaculate. But for most, it is an intriguing feeling that seems pleasantly pre-orgasmic, yet it doesn’t build up to an orgasm.

Even though it is so intense, and the recipient may feel like he’s been through an old-fashioned clothes ringer afterward, it is quite harmless.

The only problem can occur if the technique is carried on for too long without lube. The skin of the glans can become worn and blister, requiring several painful days to heal.

So, use lube. Interestingly, the intensity of the feeling is greater with oil than dry, the opposite of what you’d expect.

If your recipient settles down too much, you can try squeezing the penis with or less pressure from the holding hand, or pushing down and rubbing harder or lighter. The one thing that really gets guys the most is to change your movement slightly so the rubbing is more over the top of the glans, as opposed to over the peehole area. After some regular glans blame, If you switch to more over the top, it can really get guys charged up!

This technique can be done as a solo practice. The trick is to be in the right mood in which you can ‘torture’ yourself, and you won’t just quit because it is nearly unbearable.

Urethral Play

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Many men like urethral play, also known as sounding or catheterization, but it is dangerous. The inner lining of the urethra, and the anatomy of the male urinary system, are structurally weak and prone to infection. Extremely sterile procedures must be administered. In fact, there are so many other, safer male masturbatory techniques, that your author recommends you read this for amusement only, not as something to actually try.

Urethral play is about sticking things inside your peehole. Urethral play breaks down into two divisions: inserting things only a few inches into the penis, and deeper play, inserting objects as deep as into the bladder.

On eBay, you’ll find a huge assortment of urethral plugs, and things called sounds. In general, urethral plugs are short, only a few inches at most, and sounds are designed to go deeper. The entire length of the urethra may surprise you. While in women it is only a couple of inches (5cm) in men, there is as much penis inside the body as out, so the typical urethra can be 14 inches (35 cm) in length.

So called penis plugs are often hollow, so a man can wear one and still urinate or ejaculate.

Sounding must only be done in sterile surroundings. The operator should wear rubber gloves, and use hydrogen peroxide or alcohol to sterilize the sounds as well as the tip of the penis. The sounds must be absolutely smooth. Any sort of roughness can tear or scratch the inside of the urethra. Use a lot of sterile lube. One problem that can arise happens when there is not enough lube, or it does not go deep enough into the urethra. The sounds can stick when going in, or coming out, tearing the urethra and causing rather shocking amounts of bleeding.

Don’t push or force sounds at all. In fact, stainless steel ones are heavy enough that they can embed themselves simply from their weight, sliding into the urethra automatically.

The peehole itself is usually tighter than the bulk of the urethra. Then, about 1/2-inch (13 mm) in, is another restriction. Pass that second restriction slowly and carefully.

Some men like urethral stretching, introducing ever wider sounds into their dicks. Some are specifically interested in peehole stretching, as opposed to depth.

Sounds typically come in sets. A man will start with a thin one, then build up to greater thicknesses.

Others like deep sounding reaching as far as into their bladders. There is a curve that must be negotiated. By holding the penis straight out from the body, and slightly downward toward the feet, nearly stretches this out straight. A straight metal rod can, if done carefully, reach all the way into the bladder. Deep sounding works better with flexible tubing or specially designed soft plastic sounds.

As one approaches the bladder, there are two sphincters. These are round muscular valves that stop the flow of urine. When the sound comes to the first sphincter, the recipient feels a strong feeling like needing to pee. The feeling is somewhat different, and can be quite enjoyable. The second sphincter is closer to the bladder by an inch (25mm) or so, and feels about the same as the first when an item is passed through it. Once the second sphincter is cleared, the item will slide easily in and out of the bladder several inches.

Men have messed up by using all sorts of wrong things in their urethral play. You can successfully put pens, ball bearings, and even whipped cream in your dick, but you may have so much trouble getting things back out that medical intervention, even surgery can be required. Every hospital emergency room worker with any experience has interesting stories to tell about men who have come in with embarrassing situations.

Perhaps the ultimate form of urethral play is catheterization. This involves long tubes used in hospitals to help people when they can’t urinate, such as during surgery. Whereas being catheterized for a medical reason can be quite uncomfortable, the same procedure, done for fun, even though physically the same, can be quite enjoyable. That’s human psychology, in which the interpretation of an event flavors it more than the event itself.

Retention catheters are complex two-tube devices. They have a balloon at the end in the bladder that can be inflated by injecting a plug on the outer end with a syringe. Once inflated, it keeps the catheter from slipping out of the ‘patient.’ Pulling gently on a retention catheter renders a nice sensation.

Some people enjoy playing with taking over the authority to pee. In a BDSM situation, the recipient doesn’t get to control when he can urinate. That’s up to when the master opens the valve letting the urine flow out.

A few men will play with bladder irrigation, filling it ideally with saline. However, other materials have been used, such as beer, air, wine and another person’s urine. None of these are recommended.

Another technique of interest is pushing a little finger into the meatus. The typical man’s peehole is smaller in diameter than his little finger, but not by much. With considerable practice, the finger can be inserted past the first knuckle. Like other sounding techniques, this risks infection. A few men have managed to accommodate the little finger’s full length, or even the index finger.

The downside of peehole stretching is that it can become permanently enlarged or deformed, making a smooth urination impossible. These men must sit to pee, or else spray piss all over the place, rather than where they hoped to aim it.

A procedure known as meatotomy is a simple cut to enlarge the meatus. While dangerous, painful, inconvenient, and difficult to reverse, it is possible.

Your silly author occasionally dreams of going in the opposite direction. What if the diameter of the meatus was surgically reduced? It might mean that urinating would last longer and squirt further. More to the point, ejaculation too, might last longer and squirt further.

Testicle Massage

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Testicle massage is another technique that varies with each man. Some like it gentle. Some like it firm. Some don’t like it at all.

Some men enjoy the torture aspect. To see how much they can take. For others, it is just a unique feeling to have the balls manipulated within the scrotum.

You may feel that testicles are like grapes, easily squished. They’re actually more like chicken gizzards. They can take considerable squeezing without injury. The recipient would feel great pain before the squeezing would be dangerous. The exception is where the spermatic cords attach by a pillowy structure known as the epididimis at the upper back of each testicle. You should avoid putting pressure there because not only does it hurt, but tearing away from the testicle can occur.

Testicles are not as strong against sharp edges. Be careful if you apply clamps or in hitting the testicles with objects that arent’ flat or well-rounded.

Men, including your author, have been known to ejaculate just from good testicle massage, without the penis being manipulated at all.

Testicles like to slip around within the scrotum, like wet bars of soap. This is one of the ways they avoid serious injury. When you fall against the top tube of a bicycle or get hit by a baseball, the testicles can move within the scrotum, rather than exploding. When massaging the balls, you can take advantage of this slipping around action by gently squeezing them until they slip out of your grasp, over and over again.

One of the most satisfying ways to massage the balls is to use the thumb and first two fingers of each hand, one hand per testicle, to perform the massage. Start gently, and while communicating with the recipient, assuming you’re working with someone else, work up the pressure until the recipient is at the right level. Don’t be surprised to see some men want to back off right away, while others will enjoy considerable squeezing.

Along with testicle massage, you might consider scrotum pulling. As long as you don’t accidentally involve pulling the hairs on the scrotum, a good firm, and long-lasting pull, stretching the skin out to its fullest can be quite delightful.

Stretch Down Hard

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You might be surprised to find that once you are hard and close to cumming, that to simply pull down fairly hard on the skin of the penis, and holding it there, can cause a very nice orgasm. This is the same for circumcised and uncircumcised men.

Retrograde Ejaculation

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Retrograde ejaculation means that the semen, also known as ejaculate, and called sperm by some, goes into the bladder instead of out of the peehole. Some men will use the term retrograde ejaculation to simply mean any situation in which the semen does not come out of the peehole.

For instance, when you are cumming, you can squeeze the end of the penis closed until the orgasm is over, then cleanly let the ejaculate flow into a paper towel or receptacle. However for some men, the temporary pressure inside the urethra can hurt.

Sometimes, but not always, the pumping feeling, the contractions of the urethra, last as much as twice as long when the flow of ejaculate is blocked.

There is a spot between the bottom of the scrotum and the anus that can be pressed with one or two fingers to stop ejaculation. A century ago and before, it was often used as a primitive and often ineffective form of birth control. You have to press in the right spot, to stop the ejaculate.

The material congregates in the prostate, or may flow backward into the bladder, being a true retrograde ejaculation. It will be reabsorbed by the body, or harmlessly peed out later.

There is controversy about this technique in the literature. Some medical professionals say it is harmful, although they don’t quite say what will happen. On the other hand, it has been practiced my millions of people for thousands of years, and no one seems to have died from it.

Electro Stimulation

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Applying a small electrical charge to the genitals can be fun. The most often used device is a TENS unit, which stands for Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation. This technology is used to help with muscle pain and spasms in the back, legs and sometimes other parts of the body. When applied to the genitals, it can lead to not only pleasure, but also hands free ejaculation.

The TENS unit comes with wires that attach to self-adhesive pads that are placed on the body. It has controls to vary the power and frequency. The effects when you hit certain frequencies can be rather surprising, ranging from nothing, to pain, to very pleasurable. Pads can be placed on either side of the groin above the penis, on the testicles, on either side of the penis itself, or one pad near the tip of the penis, and another near the base. That’s a typical configuration.

For sexual play, accessories are manufactured, or can be home-made, to apply the voltage more specifically where you want it. People like electrically conductive anal and urethral plugs.

Besides TENS units, other devices can be used, as long as the voltage is low. Men will often experiment with sound systems. For instance, run your favorite music from your cellphone through an amplifier and then into your genitals.

Avoid any situation in which the electrical current could accidentally pass through the heart or head. It could result in instant death or permanent injury.

Peegasm

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The male human body does not naturally want to ejaculate and urinate at the same time. This is to prevent the ejaculate from backing up into the bladder, or for acidic urine to contaminate the semen entering a woman. During ejaculation, the urinary sphincters close tightly. However, this can be overridden with practice.

If you avoid urinating long enough, you get to a point where you literally cannot hold it any longer, and urine will leak out of you, against any effort you make to avoid peeing.

When your bladder is full to just before that point, you might like to start masturbating. Take yourself to a point just short of ejaculation, and then try to feel your situation. Can you feel the urge to pee and ejaculate at the same time?

You’ll probably need to readjust the balance, with one urge being stronger than the other, until you reach a point where both are about equal. Then, relaxing all your lower body muscles, especially the ones that you feel tensing when you ejaculate, stimulate your penis with masturbation, while at the same time letting your pee go. The secret is to be very relaxed so the the sphincters won’t jam closed.

You probably won’t get it the first time. The usual thing is you end up ejaculating without peeing, then afterward, you let all the pee out.

But the day will come, when you’re peeing and ejaculating at exactly the same time. It is a really nice feeling.

Your author has practiced this a dozen times, but only managed it twice – so far.

Anal Play

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Some men will simply not engage in anal play. That’s OK. As you’ve just read, there are plenty of other things that can be done.

However, the anus is a great erogenous zone.

This may seem obvious, but the play is more enjoyable if the area is clean. Some people will go so far as to clean out with an enema first. Others will simply carefully clean the external area.

You may be surprised that when clean, the area doesn’t smell foul. On the contrary, there are glands around the anus, the same ones that get irritated in the case of hemorrhoids, that secret a sweet smelling substance.

One of the first things to try, is to very lightly swirl a finger around the anal area, without penetrating the anus.

If you’ve never done it, putting a finger in the butt is pleasant. Many men will first experience anal play at the hands of another person. Or more specifically, at the fingers of another person. The finger should go in slowly, so the feeling is enjoyable. When the person removes a finger, that, too should be done slowly. The recipient will often remark that the finger feels a foot long upon being removed.

Two fingers takes a bit of doing, but most people can accommodate. There are men who practice fisting, in which a man can place his entire hand in another man’s (or woman’s) rectum. It takes patience and a lot of good, greasy lube to let the anus stretch sufficiently.

On eBay and elsewhere, you can get anal plugs and vibrators of all descriptions. The prices online typically are considerably lower than in retail stores. Some plugs are narrow toward the base, and then have a flared section. This is so they will stay in place, but also won’t go in too far. You want to maintain an external handle so the plug can be removed fairly easily. Otherwise, you can find yourself in that all too common emergency room situation in which an object has to be removed from a man’s rectum by medical personnel.

Some plugs can be installed, and left in for hours, as the wearer goes about his day, working, sitting, or even riding a bike.

Enemas can be fun, in which warm water or sometimes other liquids are squeezed into the rectum.

The anal area is pretty tough, but you are messing with the innards of the human body, so the usual precautions should be taken. Like, don’t try putting battery acid, or a steak knife in your ass.

Prostate Massage

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If you’re comfortable with anal play, you may have already found the A-spot sometimes also referred to as the male G-spot. With one or two fingers in the ass as far as they will go, press forward toward the bladder, and gently massage that area. You are squeezing the prostate gland, which can feel quite nice. It is sort of a gotta-pee feeling, but different. Sometimes, semen which is stored in the prostate gland, will be expelled through the penis. You can feel the thick liquid moving through the urethra, whether the penis is soft or hard, and the feeling is interesting. Some anal plugs and vibrators are specially designed to stimulate this area.

Some medical professionals say that prostate massage can be a therapeutic activity both for preventive measures as well as restoring prostate health.

Group Play

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Many men are perfectly fine with solo sex, and that’s a good thing. It is certainly the safest form of sex. However, many masturbatory activities are relatively safe, and can be practiced with one or more partners of either sex.

Older men will often find that their wives have lost interest in sex after menopause. If these men communicate with their wives, saying that they’ll continue to love and support them, but need sexual attention, the wives are often accommodating, allowing the men to have sexual activities outside the marriage. The women may even appreciate it, since that takes the pressure off themselves to try to fulfill their husbands’ desires.

This is not advice to tell your wife to ‘go fuck herself,’ and that you’re going to start sewing wild oats all over town. Some women would be horrified or feel so betrayed you could never repair your relationship. You’ll have to know your mate, and figure out what is the best for both of you. On average, good and complete communications works out way better than keeping secrets.

Younger men may have trouble finding a mate. Others may not want the complication of a ‘serious’ relationship. There are many reasons men may want to engage in masturbatory activities with others.

In many communities, on of the best ways to hook up with casual masturbatory friends is through Craigslist.org. There, you’ll find sections under Personals in which people advertise looking for like-minded others. One of the best categories is Casual Encounters.

If you are gay or bisexual, you may find it is much easier to find a male playmate than female. Most women are afraid of men who want casual encounters because it doesn’t fit their comfort zone in many ways.

The usual arrangement, with men or women, is that several emails and pictures are exchanged, before meeting in person. There are dangers, just like meeting people for any purpose. The dangers may be less than you think. For instance, if you’re bringing cash to buy a car, you could be accosted for the money. When meeting a person for sexual play, that motivation is not there. However, there are people in the world with all kinds of agendas, so one should be careful.

Another problem you’ll find with Craigslist is that people frequently get cold feet at the last minute, leaving you high and dry and unsatisfied.

The biggest problem is probably mismatched tastes. For instance, you may not want to kiss anyone, and have stated it clearly in your ad, and yet you get with a person who decides to disregard that, and wants to kiss you. Or worse, you may not want anal intercourse, and the other person does. Worse yet, the person may become quite insistent or even physically forceful.

Placing ads on Craigslist in the personals categories is entirely free. The number of responses you’ll get to an appropriate, well-worded ad can surprise you, even is smaller communities.

Your ad is more likely to get appropriate responses if you are clear in what you want, if you aren’t too demanding in your specifics, and if you are willing to post pictures. In these personal categories, many people post genital pictures only, because they wouldn’t want the general public to recognize their faces in connection with sexual activities.

So, if you post that you’d like any kind of sex with a clean person of any age between 18 and 80, of any reasonable weight, any color, etc, you’ll probably get responses. If you advertise that you only want someone between 45 and 50 years old, who is super-thin, only wants handjobs, and cross-dresses, well, good luck.

Hosting can be an issue. You’ll get many more responses if you can have someone come to your house. On the other hand, if you cannot host, or don’t want to due to safety concerns, there are still many people willing to host. Many encounters through Craigslist meet in the woods, in car parks or on a deserted beach. These can work well.

Your author has posted about a dozen times, with very specific ads wanting to play with some of the techniques mentioned in this book. Every single one in which I actually played with people worked out fine. Two of the guys were a little rougher than I would have liked, but they were still reasonable and respectful. Two guys met up, and then didn’t want to play. I originally thought I must have not met their expectations in some way, but I realized later, they were just cases of cold feet. People do get quite nervous and even goofy about this sort of thing. One person simply wasn’t home when I showed up.

Two have been extraordinary. One is a guy who has almost the exact same tastes as mine. After the first encounter, we have met up again a half-dozen times, and every session has been delightful.

The other was a response from a guy, and everything seemed just right. When I arrived at his home, the door was answered by a woman. Confused, I came in, and she explained that she had placed the ad for her husband, because he was too shy. He and I played while she watched. I was hoping she’d participate, but just having her watch was exciting. I was invited back a week later, and that time, she met me at the door all naked, and we had a delightful three-way session. The three of us played several more times.

* * *


Young Male Massage Practitioner

Copyright 2017, Jeremy J. Watson

I’m normal in every way, except one. If you saw me on the street, you wouldn’t remember me. I’m average height at 5′ 10,” wear my brown hear medium length, and have a trimmed beard. I’m not thin, but I’m not fat. But the one thing that’s different about me is that I’ve always been a rebel.

My embarrassing father taught me to be rebellious before he drank himself to death. That’s the one thing I got from him, his repeated admonishments, “Think for yourself, boy!”

He was one of those happy drunks. Never violent, just making messes wherever he went. Dad couldn’t keep a job, especially after he lost his driver’s license. He was a loving father, but just sloppy drunk too often. I lost him when I was sixteen. It was a shame, and it messed up my life and my mother’s life. We were already in poverty, and then, we had to come up with $800 for his cremation. All Mom and I had was a junky house, and even that we were on the verge of losing, always being late with the mortgage month after month.

As the end of high school approached, I was hopelessly behind sexually. I hadn’t had any sort of sex with anyone. At the time, I was trying to get laid by girls thinking that was the ‘right’ thing to do.

From as early as I can remember, I’d swivel my head whan a good-looking guy rode by on a bike or when I saw underwear ads, When I’d see a girl in a bikini or something, I usually forgot to even look until one of my buddies might say something like, “Did you see the knockers on her?” I didn’t know what to make of the situation, but tried to stay focused on women. My dilemma concerned me greatly, and I spent hours trying to understand how I fit into the world.

With my friends, I’d play along. I’d share in all the off-color jokes about women, and pretend that I was on the verge of dating one girl or another. Truth is, I didn’t really know how to talk to women, let alone anything more. One by one, my buddies fell away, as they each in turn hooked up with a girlfriend. I was secretly jealous, but what could I do?

Finally, Michelle came along. She was second-generation Korean, short, slim, small-breasted, with long, straight hair, and cute as a button. I actually found her attractive. And she seemed to like my quirky, rebellious sense of humor. Maybe she liked my shyness too, because she was the opposite, always saying whatever was on her mind, no matter how outrageous. Among the 12th grade girls, she was a sort of leader. She and I started having conversations, and it was easy. It wasn’t like talking to other girls. I finally figured out why: She was a rebel, too.

We got closer, and started kissing. It was OK. Not super-great, but definitely OK. The day came when she started wanting to have sex with me. I had been resisting. I don’t know why, Maybe, it was because deep down, I knew I was gay. I wasn’t really attracted to her the way I thought I was supposed to be.

I could only put her off for so long. She became insistent. She’d do things like pinch my crotch while kissing, try to pull down my fly, or get us into games of strip poker.

One day, after the usual gym class shower, in which I tried hard not to get an erection, successfully I might add, she and I got together at my house while my mom was at work. I was still horny from seeing a couple of naked guys in the showers.

She had a deck of cards, and wanted to play strip blackjack. I went along. It seemed to me, that although the thought was scary, getting naked with her might actually be enjoyable.

So we played, and lost clothes at a nearly equal rate. Finally, she lost her bra, and I saw my first-ever set of live girl tits. Oh, I had seen stuff on the Internet, but never really paid attention. I kind of liked what I saw in Michelle. She was like a little boy, in a way with her small, nearly flat boobs, and perhaps that enhanced my appreciation. I was surprisingly attracted to her small, pointed, dark nipples, and imagined myself sucking them.

Then, I lost a hand, and my last covering, my underpants, were no longer going to protect me. She insisted that I remove them. So what could I do? I did. My penis wasn’t erect, for which I was grateful. Somehow, having an erection in front of her seemed like it would be embarrassing.

Michelle frowned. “Why aren’t you hard? Don’t you like me? Don’t you like what you see?”

I didn’t know how to answer that, and so I hesitated for a moment. Her lower lip started to quiver.

OK, it was now or never. I had been kind of admitting it to myself for the last year or so, but to avoid hurting her feelings, I had to say it, and I hoped that my good friend, Michelle, of all people, would be understanding.

“Michelle, I have a… well, a secret. I might be attracted more to guys.”

“Hot fucking damn!” she practically yelled. “I knew it.”

Within seconds her frown turned to a smile.

“Ben, it’s OK. In fact, I think it’s great!”

Wow, that was easier than I thought.

“But Ben, let’s continue the game.”

“Really?”

“Yes, fuck yes.”

I was feeling all weird inside, but she seemed to want to continue our strip card game, so what the hell, right? I was already naked, so it couldn’t get any worse. In fact, it wasn’t that bad. It felt somehow freeing to be naked with a good friend. I could swear I felt a breeze on my ass and balls, even though we were in my bedroom, and I liked it.

She lost the next hand, and she took off her little underpants right away. Of course, I noticed the dark curly hair around her vagina, Now, you’d have thought I’d get excited, or at least a little twinge, but nothing. Not even like the bit of excitement I got in the school shower with the guys. Well, maybe I had a bit of curiosity, but that’s all.

She then said, “Let’s keep playing.”

“How? I mean, what’s more to lose?”

“Well, if you win the next hand, I have to do what you tell me. If I win, you do what I say.”

“Fuck that!”

“Now Ben, I won’t ask you to do anything you don’t want, I promise. And, I’ll bet you can’t think of anything to ask me that I wouldn’t want to do for you.”

‘Wow,’ I was thinking. ‘Now, that’s interesting.’

I won the next hand, and I wanted to see a vagina up close. I didn’t really like the looks of pussies, from what I’d seen on the internet. They seemed like wounds into a girl’s body or something. Still, I was curious. So, I asked her to let me look closely.

I was expecting her to put up a fuss, but no, still sitting, she scooted to the edge of the bed and spread her legs really wide.

I approached tentatively, and after a moment, I placed my fingers in that hair, and kind of separated it so I could see her slit. I just looked. She told me to spread it open. I started to, but she said “Ouch.”

I guess I had pulled her hair. More carefully, I did spread it open. It smelled kind of fishy, but not terrible. I found the little thing called the clitoris, and carefully rubbed my fingertip against it. She leaned back and said “Mmmmm!”

I had read that girls like this, so I kept doing it for a while. She leaned back further, and scooted so she was laying on the bed. I noticed that her pussy was getting quite wet. She was starting to arch her back, but suddenly stopped me. “Not yet,” she said.

I guessed she was getting close to orgasm.

While this was happening, and without me noticing, I was starting to spring an erection. I was feeling… well, many things. I was delighted. Maybe it meant I wasn’t gay, which was still a big concern for me. I was really confused back then. On the other hand having a boner was also terribly embarrassing. No way Michelle didn’t see it.

But she was delighted! She reached out, and gingerly touched it.

Bang! Electric shock! I had never experienced anything like that in my life. Oh, I had masturbated a million times by then, but that was the first ever touch by someone else. Not even a doctor had touched my dick. My parents didn’t even have money for medical insurance, didn’t understand paperwork, and so I had never been to a doctor.

I asked her to touch it again, and she did, and I got another, somewhat smaller shock effect. She kept her hand on my dick, and started slightly stroking it up and down. I got super-hard, as erect as I had ever been. I have to tell you that even though it was a girl touching me, it felt amazing!

She was pretty smart, and knew if she kept it up, I’d cum right away. Instead, she stopped.

She leaned over to the floor and started digging around in her backpack, eventually pulling out a small packet. I knew what it was, and what she wanted. I figured, ‘Why not?’

I asked her to put it on me, but she declined, saying I’d probably ejaculate if she did. In retrospect, she was probably right.

So, opening a rubber packed for the first time in my life, I took it out, and figured out how to unroll it onto my cock. She was so right, I almost came from my own attention to my dick at that point.

“If you’re gay, you’ll like it this way. Just pretend I’m a guy.” she said, and with that, she got back on the bed on her hands and knees with her ass up and open.

I got behind her, and actually enjoyed the view. Especially her small, puckered, somewhat brownish asshole was perfect. If I could only have one memory in my life, I was thinking, I wanted it to be that image! Oddly, I wanted to press my dick into that anus of hers, but I knew that wasn’t quite right. Girls like to be fucked in their vaginas.

Being a good-natured guy, I did that for her. She was terribly wet, and so we didn’t need any lubrication. I wouldn’t have known if we had needed lube at that point. As I said, I was completely inexperienced with girls, and guys, too, of course.

Kneeling behind her, I very slowly, and awkwardly, pressed my penis into her vagina. Even though I didn’t care for the look of that part of her, I noticed how beautiful and warm it felt, even through the rubber. Then I felt an involuntary squeeze from her pussy. I’m sure you can guess what happened. I came right away.

A minute later, my penis wilted and sort of fell out of her vagina.

She expressed a mild disappointment.

Now this is horrible: She asked if I could kiss her vagina or rub her clit some to give her an orgasm. I said “No,” and ran into the bathroom, still wearing the rubber.

I know that was very bad form, and must have hurt her feelings, but I was alarmingly conflicted. Five minutes later, without the rubber, I reappeared, and apologized. I still couldn’t bring myself to touch, let alone kiss her vagina, and she seemed to be OK with that.

So, I fucked a girl, and it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. I kind of liked it, even though it freaked me out.

But that was the only time. Michelle and I talked about it, and she decided she wanted what she called a “true, blue guy.” I was OK with it too, because I just wasn’t, well, I don’t really know. I just didn’t want any more sex with her. What I came to realize later, is I really didn’t want sex with any girls.

It’s like you really want chocolate ice cream. Someone gives you peanut ice cream. Yes, you’ll eat it, and it’s OK, but it’s not quite right.

We’re still friends to this day. I mean, if we see each other in the grocery store or something, we are happy to see each other and catch up a bit. But that’s all.

High school ended, and I graduated with fairly good grades. With my dad being gone, and absolutely no money, I knew I had to do something. I thought becoming a nurse might be a good idea. Since I’m kind of inept at dealing with people, what could be better for me than to have to deal with people on such an intimate level as a nurse must do?

But, it wasn’t going to happen. I spent quite a bit of time with the guidance counselor trying to figure out how to get into a nursing school. There was just no way I could raise the money, and no one would co-sign for a student loan who had good enough credit. My mom was working full time, but her credit was shot to hell.

So I got to thinking about what might be similar to nursing that didn’t require a degree. It doesn’t take a particularly intelligent person to come up with massage as a possible alternative. You and I both know that there are various ways to do massage. I was talking about legitimate massage. But I didn’t even have money for massage school. Now, it’s technically illegal to do massages without a license, but I was desperate. I could do massages and make $60 for an hour, and maybe get my own place, help my mom out of debt and so on, or bag groceries for $10 per hour, and maybe barely manage to cover the cost of food. Rebel thinking, right?

In this case, I wasn’t enough of a rebel. I chose bagging. As it turns out, the world is full of 18-year-olds like myself who want to do that sort of minimum wage job. After spending a week applying everywhere, I discovered there were no openings for me.

My mom was supporting me, and she was sinking in a hole fast. I had to do something. So, I went to the library, and took out three books on massage.

I explained my plan to my mother, and she nixed it, saying she didn’t raise her one and only child to do something illegal. Completely frustrated, I asked her what my options were. She didn’t have an answer. The next day, when she came home from work, she said, “OK, but be careful. Furthermore, as soon as you can, go to massage school, and get properly licensed.” In her optimistic way, she was already seeing me being successfull in the massage business, which I suppose was contagious.

The books I borrowed were sort of exciting. Especially one, where a good-looking man was being the subject in the photos. They were old-style black and white pictures, and the guy was fully naked. In one shot, he was laying on his stomach, and his buttocks were being worked on. They were stretched just a bit open, and you could barely see his hairy asshole and the bottom of his scrotum.

As soon as I saw that, I took a break and jerked off. I was thinking, ‘I wouldn’t mind working on naked people all the time!’ Unfortunately, the other two books indicated that a massage practitioner usually drapes clients, meaning they are modestly covered with cloth most of the time.

I studied, and learned, also looking up ‘massage’ on the Internet, doing my best to focus on the legitimate stuff, not all the crazy sexuality.

A few days later, I felt I had picked up all the information I could. Now it was time to get a little practice.

I called a high school acquaintance, and offered him a free massage, explaining my plan. He was like, “No, too weird.”

I was embarrassed, and almost didn’t call another guy. But remembering my mom’s plight, I got up the balls and called another guy.

Same thing, I explained how I was learning to become a massage practitioner, and needed to practice. I was bracing for the inevitable, but he said, “OK.”

We arranged for him to come over at 4pm. I also called my mom at work and asked her not to come home until 5:30. That was fine with her because she usually didn’t get home until around 6 anyway.

So four o’clock came along and James didn’t show up. I was crushed. But about eight minutes later, the doorbell rang. Suddenly, instead of crushed, I was nervous. What the fuck was I thinking? Me, a massage practitioner? Oh well, it was arranged, I had to go through with it.

So I opened the door and let James in. I should probably mention that he wasn’t a close friend. He and I had played chess a half-dozen times, that’s about it. The thing is, I had to go with acquaintances rather than friends, because I was kind of embarrassed about letting my friends know I was planning this whole massage thing.

James was not a close friend because he was out of my league. He was one of the really cool guys in the school. Fortunately for me, he liked chess, and I’m particularly good at that game.

James was really tall, probably around 6’4,” short-haired and thin. He was also very black, like straight African ancestry. He was also a great basketball player who had won a scholarship to a university in Ohio. He was a great first ‘victim’ because if the massage didn’t go well, he be gone away to college in a couple of months and hopefully wouldn’t tell anyone in the meantime. He came in kind of reluctantly.

After a bit of small talk, he told me he had been having some trouble with his left shoulder. He thought I might be able to help with that.

Blustering entirely, I said, “Of course.”

I showed him to the bathroom, told him to remove his clothes, and come out wearing a towel. A few minutes later he reappeared.

I drew in my breath, hoping he didn’t hear me. The guy was gorgeous. I should have maintained a professional attitude, but those long black legs of his caused an immediate horny reaction in my stomach and elsewhere.

Trying to seem professional, as if I had done this a million times before, I directed him onto the torn, second-hand massage table I had. He didn’t know how bad it was, because it was covered with a sheet.

James laid down, and I went to work. I knew enough to warm my hands and use massage oil right from the start. I kind of randomly rubbed his delicious, skinny, shiny back. Then, I decided to do what I could for his shoulder. I just kind of pinched here and there. As I was doing that, he’d mutter little things like, “Um hum,” “Oo,” “Yes,” or “Mmm.” Once, when I hit a sensitive spot he quietly said “Ouch.”

I practically jumped when he said that. I didn’t want to hurt the guy. I wanted to do it right, to give him a really good massage. All the while, I realized I didn’t really know anything about what I was doing.

After what seemed like a long enough time, I worked down his back, and down his upper arms to his hands. I was worried that he’d think it was ‘gay’ to massage his hands, but he seemed to like it.

Then I went to his upper legs, working my way to his feet. Something I didn’t realize about giving massages is that it is a lot of work. My wrists and thumbs were starting to cramp up. When I couldn’t take it any more, I figured a brief break would help, so I asked him to roll over.

He said, “Wait, aren’t you going to do my butt?”

I was like, “Oh, right.” and I tried to sort of reach under the towel and massage his glutes a bit. He knew I was struggling with trying to reach under the towel, and keep it on him at the same time, because he just reached back with one hand, grabbed the towel, and threw it on the floor.

What a magnificent ass! Smooth as an eight-ball, and nearly as black. I might have been starting to have an erection at that point, but that was unprofessional, so I tried willing it away. Not knowing exactly what to do, I started massaging his ass with both hands. I guess I got it about right because he was saying, “Mmmm, excellent!”

At one point, with one hand on each ass cheek, I made a movement which spread his ass cheeks apart, and I saw his asshole. It was mostly hairless, and if you can imagine, it was even darker than the rest of him. I was sorely tempted to touch it, but I knew better.

In retrospect, I’ll bet if I had rubbed my finger lightly around it, then slowly stuck it in, he would have loved it. But I still had a lot to learn.

After what seemed like the appropriate amount of time, I had him flip over and placed the towel back over his crotch area, but not before noticing he was sporting a nice erection. And his very black, uncircumcised dick was huge, like eight inches long. I resisted the urge to touch it, or even mention it. He didn’t say anything either. The sexual charge in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife, at least for me. I don’t know what he was thinking, but his erect dick said a lot.

But I was trying to be a professional. I then massaged his shoulders again, remembering he said he wanted particular attention there, then his upper arms, lower arms, hands, then upper legs, lower legs, and feet, My aching wrists were shot!

I simply said “Finished!” and expected him to jump off the table. He spent a good minute just laying there and not saying anything. I was getting into a weird expectant space. What was he going to say? It was like tests in school. You think maybe you’ve done OK, but you may have failed miserably. You have to wait until the teacher hands the corrected tests back to you before you get to find out. And this was a really important test, in my mind.

He sat up ever so slowly, and pivoted around, dangling his long legs off the side of the table.

“Oh man, that was the most fucking excellent massage I’ve ever had!”

With that, he modestly went back into the bathroom to get dressed, as if I hadn’t seen his dick and all that. I mean, I saw him with an erection! How cool is that? Yes, I was going to like this line of work.

Right after James left, I called a couple of my closer friends, and then my best friend, Clinton. The first two guys turned me down, but Clint said “OK, as long as you don’t get weird on me.” We arranged a time for the next day.

All the rest of that evening, I was obsessed with his comment. By ‘getting weird’ on him, did he mean just because it was a guy giving another guy a massage, or did he somehow know I was tending toward gayness? This was still a time when I was not really sure what I was, and really didn’t want the whole world to know my situation.

I also called Michelle that evening, and she was happy to come over at 2pm.

I couldn’t wait for Clint to arrive at 10am. Fortunately, he arrived a few minutes early, because I was tearing myself to shreds waiting. It was a mix of nervousness, excitement, and I think maybe horniness, too. You see, I had been secretly hoping to get my hands on Clint, in a sexual way, ever since, well, probably around the fourth grade. A massage might not be sexual, but it would be the next best thing. I knew he’d have to be draped, but I was hoping to get at least a peak at his stuff at some point during the massage.

So Clint arrived. I’ve always liked his style. He’s of some sort of Scandinavian descent, with very light skin, hair so blond it’s almost white. Like me, he is otherwise medium-built. He’s also the kindest guy in the world. He’s polite and always-accommodating. Maybe that’s the real reason he accepted the massage. It may be that he didn’t want a massage at all, he was just going to do it for me. I was hoping he’d get some enjoyment out of it, at least.

Like I had done it a million times before, after a minute of chit-chat, I instructed him to go in the bathroom, take off his stuff, and return wearing only a towel.

He came back and I had him lay face-down on the table. The table was covered with the same sheet that I had used with James the day before. I hadn’t yet learned that you change the sheets between each client. Geez!

I asked Clint whether he wanted anything in particular, and he didn’t think so.

I warmed my hands, got some oil, and started on his shoulders. At first he was totally quiet, but then, same as James, he seemed to really get into my attention, letting me know with little quips of “Mmm…” and “Nice.” I worked my way down his back then his shoulders to his upper arms, then his lower arms, and his hands. Again, I was hoping he wouldn’t think it too ‘gay’ of me to massage his hands. He seemed OK with that.

Then I did his upper legs, calves and finally his feet. Having learned from James yesterday, I then whipped off the towel to start on his buttocks.

“What the fuck?” he practically screamed.

I was shocked. I didn’t expect that, quickly putting the towel back on, and explaining that I was going to massage his glutes.

“Oh, I see. Go ahead.”

Ah, I didn’t expect that, either! So, I took the towel back off, half-expecting him to tell me to put it back, but no, he was good with it, and I went to work on his butt. After a minute, I purposely pulled his ass cheeks apart a bit so I could see his anus. I wasn’t going to miss that opportunity. And, what a butthole it was! It was just ever so slightly pinkish, or maybe a brownish-shade of pink, and had slight radial wrinkles leading to the center. I also saw the back of his scrotum, which was drawn up, and had feather-like wrinkles. Very nice. Oh what I would have given for this massage to turn sexual.

After a minute, I asked him to roll over.

“Hey Benjamin, would you mind doing my butt a bit more first?”

Would I mind? Heck no! Without a word, I resumed on his butt. I noticed that when my fingers came close to his asshole, he seemed to push toward them, as if he wanted me to focus more on that area. So I did, slightly, just running my fingers along near where the color turns darker, about an inch from the opening itself. He didn’t seem to mind, and I was pretty sure he was liking it.

I decided I had to try something, but I knew it was a big risk. I figured I could brush my fingertips right over his asshole itself for a split second. If he freaked out, I’d just say, “Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”

But the thing is, I didn’t get up the gumption. I really wanted to do that, but was afraid it would be too much.

After perhaps a full five minutes of butt rubbing, I asked him to turn over again.

“Ben, if you don’t mind, just a little bit more.”

So, I did more. Now it was time to try the finger on the anus thing, and hope for the best.

I did it. I ran my finger directly over his anus. I don’t know what it did for him, but it increased the erection that had been in my pants for the past several minutes. He didn’t object, so after a few seconds, I did it again.

“Ben, Uh…”

I though he was going to tell me to stop, or maybe even call me a faggot or something.

“Benjamin, I, um.. well, I get erections easily. It’s not a sexual thing.”

For a second I didn’t understand where he was going with this. Then it dawned on me! He was having me do all that butt work because he didn’t want to roll over and have me see his erection.

Sounding exactly like the expert I wished I was, I tried to say as casually as possible, “Oh, guys get erections all the time, it’s no big deal.” The only problem was my voice squeaked a bit when I said it. I cleared my throat, and continued, “No big deal at all. Part of the business.” I had been so happy to simply see his anus, let alone touch it, and now it seemed I might not only see his penis, but it would be erect. This was too good to be true!

He pushed his hand against the table and rolled over. His magnificent erection stuck straight up in the air at a 90 degree angle. His ordinary six-incher was uncircumcised, and very white, especially there, and to my added delight, he was one of these guys who shaves his crotch. I’d seen a couple of shaved guys in the gym shower, but never up close, and never as magnificent as Clinton!

What does a professional massage practitioner say when seeing such a thing? Nothing. That’s what I decided. I knew I couldn’t throw a towel over it because it was sticking up too prominently. The towel would not only be a joke, it’s weight on his erect dick might hurt him a bit. So, I just went on with my massage. First his shoulders, then his upper arms, working my way to his hands. I hoped he didn’t notice that I was shaking a bit.

After that, I worked on his upper thighs. I really wanted to touch his dick or maybe his scrotum a bit at that point, but I knew that would be going too far. Instead, I worked my way down his legs, and then did his ankles and his feet.

Not only his erection stay solid, it was bobbing up and down a bit with every heart beat.

Now what? I could certainly sense that I was leaving something unfinished. And of course I knew what it was. Clint needed release. I really didn’t know how to respond, so I went back to the head of the table, pretending some more massage was needed. But what to do? I had already massaged his shoulders and neck. But not his face! Well, why not? So, I started gently rubbing his cheeks, his temples, and his jaw, thinking he’d stop me at any moment. But no, he held his eyes closed, and I could tell he was enjoying this very intimate massage.

Finally, there was nothing more I could do.

I told him I was finished, and remembering how James had gotten up so slowly, I let him know he could take as long as he needed to get off the table.

After only a few seconds, Clint practically ran to the bathroom, with his erection waving before him. He took a bit longer in there than I expected, I’ll bet he jerked off. I know I would have.

Finally, he emerged, a bit red in the face, and thanked me profusely. He also apologized for the erection. Without thinking it through, I told him something that was perhaps a bit more forward than I intended, I said, “I enjoyed seeing it.”

The minute he left, I sat on the table, took off my own clothes, and rubbed myself to a spectacular orgasm.

Two o’clock came, and along with it, came Michelle. I told her the same thing, go in the bathroom and change into a towel. She came out after a few minutes and laid down on my table.

I started on her in the usual way, working her neck, shoulders, upper arms and so on. When I got to her hands, she said, “Ben, I’ve had massages before,…”

Alarm bells went off in my brain. What was she going to critique? What stupid thing did I forget or not understand?

“…but this is the best ever!”

I thanked her for the kind words, and then worked on her thighs, calves, ankles and feet. I then came up to her butt, and trying to leave the towel in place, massaged her butt. She asked me whether the towel was necessary.

I removed it, and continued on her butt. I couldn’t resist looking at her asshole, and was kind of amused to notice that it really looked about the same as a guy’s asshole. Like her pussy and nipples, it was somewhat darkly pigmented. I also noticed her ‘wound’ – the way I though of vaginas. Somehow, I was not only not attracted, I was kind of grossed out by it. I know I shouldn’t feel that way, but I did.

I had her roll over and was confronted with a new problem. With guys, you can massage their chest just like the rest of their bodies. But what do you do with a woman?

Something else I got from my dad: Communication. He always told me, “When in doubt, communicate.” So I just asked her, would she like her breasts massaged?

She assented, and voluntarily removed the towel, so her whole self was naked before me. You know what? She was really quite attractive, wound and all.

I did her arms, her hands, her thighs, lower legs and feet. Then I came back up, got the front of her neck, her shoulders again, and then, gingerly started rubbing and squeezing her breasts. She loved it. I noticed that ever so lightly rubbing her nipples sent some sort of shiver through her, which she seemed to particularly enjoy.

Something came over me, and I worked lightly down her stomach, and then I started rubbing around the top of her crotch hair. I touched her vagina, and she didn’t object. Interestingly, I found it easier to touch a woman’s vagina than a man’s penis. Go figure! Maybe because it meant less to me.

Michelle became vocal, directing me in exactly how to touch her. She had me rubbing generous amounts of oil on her clitoris, then she wanted me to stick a finger inside. I really didn’t want to do that. It seemed kind of gross. But she’s a friend, and she really seemed to want it. I can understand being horned up, even if it’s a girl, so I went ahead and did it for her. It was surprisingly warm in there. I had experienced that warmth before with my dick, but this was the first time with a finger. She instructed me to turn so that my finger could curl upward and rub the area it contacted inside her. Then she wanted two fingers in there. I was just about to quit when she suddenly started moaning and arching her back. I realized she was orgasming. After a few seconds, I pulled my fingers out.

“No!” she screamed, then told me to put my fingers back in and keep going. So I did, and brought her to a second and third orgasm before she finally calmed down.

Oddly, I enjoyed doing that for her. Very much.

Right after her appointment, the phone rang. It was Kers, a friend of James. He heard I was giving free massages. Would I have time to do him?

Thinking so fast that I’m proud of it, I said, “Yes, but they’re no longer free.”

“Oh.” He sounded crushed.

“Well, how much?”

Thinking quickly again, I said “Sixty bucks.”

Silence.

“Oh Dude, I’m sorry, I don’t have that kind of money.”

“How much do you have?”

“How about $20?”

“Deal!” I would have done it for free. Especially since I know Kirs a little bit. He’s another tall guy. He kind of looks like a modern version of Cary Grant.

He came over the next day, and everything started in the usual way. He, too, didn’t want the towel when I did his butt. He too, seemed to like it when I brushed my fingertips over his anus. He too, had a nice erection when he rolled over. I ignored it, of course.

As the massage was nearing a close, he said, “Dude, I was kind of hoping for something more.”

Sometimes I’m a bit thick. Trying to give him what he wanted, I started working on his shoulders again, more than happy to comply, even though my wrists and thumbs were hurting a bit.

“Thanks, that’s nice, but do you ever give…” Then he hesitated, and finally hoarsely whispered, “happy endings?”

Call me an idiot, but I didn’t know what he meant. I wanted to ask him, but thought that would be unprofessional. So I had a problem, how could I possibly give him that, whatever it was, since I didn’t know what it was? Remembering what my dad taught me about communication, I went ahead and asked, “What’s that?”

“Really? You don’t know? OK, so… um,.. it’s like I’ve got this boner, and I guess it’s a natural effect from massage…”

I was starting to get an idea of what he wanted.

“Yes, lots of guys get erections during a massage.” Like I had actually done ‘lots of guys’.

“Well, can you do something for that?”

The rebel in me came out. I was delighted to help Kirs out. “Got it!” and with that, in a kind of going for broke attitude, like the first time jumping off a diving board, I grabbed his very erect penis like I owned it. It was the first time in my I had touched a penis besides my own. It was surprising in many ways. First, it was warm. Then, it was really harder than I expected. At the same time, the skin over it was very soft and flexible. I knew all this from my own dick, but somehow, feeling it on someone else reminded me how warm, hard, and soft a penis can be, all at the same time.

I started pumping it up and down the same way I jerk myself off. He shot three or four good squirts into the air almost immediately. That was easy, and it was fun!

He cleaned up, gave me my $20 and left. I was now, officially, a professional! I had collected money for a massage. It was time to hang out my shingle.

But the problem was how to give massages without a license, and stay legal? Well, I had looked that up on the Internet, I had studied long and hard one evening, and came up with the answer. You can’t legally advertise yourself as a massage practitioner, but you can teach massage all day long. It turns out you don’t need a license to teach. I found that to be an amusing loophole, and one I was planning to take full advantage of. All I had to do was figure exactly how.

I posted in the services section of Craigslist that I would teach one-on-one hands-on massage ‘tutoring.’ Fifteen minutes later, my post went live, and literally sat near the phone. I kept expecting the phone to ring, and kept checking my email. Nothing. A couple hours later, I went back to Craigslist, and someone had flagged my ad. It was gone. I reposted it. An hour later, gone again! To say I was disappointed would be a huge understatement. Now what to do?

I figured out that my ad was posted in the wrong place, and probably written incorrectly. I tried several experiments over the next few days, but nothing worked. Sometimes the ads stayed up, but no one responded.

In the meantime, James came around again. Since Kers had arrived because of James, and because James had been so appreciative of his first massage, I gave him a free massage.

Taking note of Kers’ interest in the “happy ending” I came right out and offered it to James, kind of cringing as I did so, because there’s no telling how he’d react.

Here’s what he said: “If I give you a blowjob, it’s gay. If you give me one, it’s just a guy getting a blowjob.”

I freaked. “Who said anything about a blowjob?”

“No, I mean, yes, I’d like a happy ending.”

I massaged James in what was becoming the usual way and he enjoyed it. When I started to give extra attention to his sore shoulder, he said that I had cured it the other day, and that he’d rather have me spend more time on the ‘ending.’

I sped through the rest of the standard massage steps, then went right to the heart of the action. There he was, laying on his back, with his erection laying against his belly. Evidently when one’s dick is that large, it doesn’t stick up in the air. Gravity lays it down. I gingerly put my fingers around his warm, rock-hard penis, and he was obviously in heaven. I started stroking up and down. He didn’t cum right away, and I was glad, because I truly liked doing it.

After five minutes, he still hadn’t cum, and my arm was getting tired. I thought I’d try something based on what I thought I might like in similar circumstances. With my other hand, I started lightly squishing his balls back and forth, kind of massaging them in his sack. He said “Mmm,” so I knew I was on the right track. Moments later, he ejaculated all over my hand and his stomach. I was almost as delighted as he was. After he left, I sat on the table, remembering his penis, and jerked myself off to a quick and strong orgasm.

While waiting for Craigslist to give me some clients, I was thinking about this “happy ending” thing. In my limited knowledge, it seemed most of the guys became erect during massages, and even Michelle became quite horny. No doubt they’d all like happy endings. Maybe I should specialize in some sort of masturbation practice. Little did I know at the time that most massages in the world aren’t like that. I was to learn years later that most massage practices are ‘legitimate’ and happy endings are rare.

Being frustrated by the lack of response on Craigslist, and at the same time wary of circumventing the law, and also being a bit of a rebel, I came up with an idea.

There was no chance of being illegal if I didn’t touch people at all. What if I offered some sort of instruction, not massage? What if I taught what I know? But what exactly do I know best? That would be masturbation. Somehow, I could teach masturbation. That would certainly be easier on my thumbs and wrists which were aching after every massage.

I called Michelle, the only person I knew who could be objective and supportive, and told her all about my new idea. I could imagine her pretty dark eyes sparkling on the other end of the phone conversation as she said that was a ‘fantastic’ idea. She even helped me flesh out some of the details.

I stayed up almost an entire night learning advanced masturbation techniques on the Internet.

I called James and Clint, and explained to both of them what I was thinking of. A few days ago, I could never have mentioned such a crazy and rebellious idea. But since their happy endings, I figured they’d be on-board with helping me out. I was right.

Clint was first, and I told him to pretend he was a new client. I was going to talk him through an advanced masturbation session. Although I wasn’t going to be touching him, he was still all in favor of the idea.

He came over, took off his clothes, and sat on my massage table. He had an erection even before his pants came off. I started filling the air with instructor-like talk, kind of hypnotically guiding him through a couple of grips, showing him how to rub the palm of his hand over the head of his dick for a very sparkly sensation, how to pull the frenulum to stay near the point of orgasm longer, and so on. All the things I had learned, some of which I hadn’t even had time to practice on myself yet.

It worked well, and he shot a good load of cum within just a few minutes. I thought it would have taken an hour or so.

Next came James. We did pretty much the same thing. He wasn’t hard when he removed his pants, but it didn’t take him long to get that way. I really enjoyed watching him stroke his big, black, shiny, eight-incher. He particularly liked the frenulum pulling thing. After he ejaculated, he told me that it was especially ‘hot’ having a guy watch him masturbate, causing me to think I was onto something big.

I went back to Craigslist, and posted that I was teaching advanced masturbation techniques.

An email came in. A real, honest-to-goodness client, not some sort of spam for a change. I had the guy come over, and although a bit nervous, I did a good job, and the session went well.

This fellow, Greg, was a fat, forty-something, balding fellow. Not much to look at, but with an enjoyable, jolly personality. With Clint and James, I had started to develop a kind of spiel, and so I started the same way with Greg. He got hard in rapid order. I was a bit concerned that he might not, and it seemed he didn’t have much to work with. When he first removed his pants, his penis was not much more than a walnut-size nub sticking out above his scrotum, and in a field of long straggly gray and black hairs. But once it started to grow, it made it to a full six inches. In less than fifteen minutes, he ejaculated. Less than five minutes after that, his pants were back on, he was out the door, and I was $40 wealthier!

For the next two days, nothing at all. I was starting to get depressed when the phone rang. It was another customer!

I had him come over, and we went through the same procedure. This guy was probably around 70 years old, but did just fine in the erection department. He, too, came within minutes, thanked me profusely, and left after paying not the $40 I had asked, but a crisp $50 bill. I went to make change, but he said, “Keep it.”

The phone rang again, and I had another client, a guy named Nelson. I had him come over, Seeing him, I figured this might be a particularly nice session. The guy was good to look at. He was short-haired, fairly tall, thin, and very fit. I figured him for some sort of athlete or at least a gym rat.

But something was off. I can’t quite explain it. He didn’t seem as friendly as the others. His sentences were short and clipped. He asked me to explain the procedure in its entirety. I complied. Then I asked him whether he was ready to get started, and let him know that if for any reason he didn’t want to proceed, it would be OK.

He was reluctant to pull down his pants. I figured he was just shy or something and thought maybe I’d just have to talk with him a while so he could relax enough to be comfortable naked in front of me.

He then asked me whether I’d pull down my pants. As I had practiced in my mind, just in case anything of this sort of thing came up, like if a policeman or something wanted to check out my service, I told him, no, this was just a lesson for him.

Suddenly, he smiled so big it was almost a laugh. I didn’t understand. He then explained:

“You passed the test. I’m an undercover officer. There’s nothing to be afraid of. You are, in my opinion, and I’m sure under the law too, doing nothing illegal.”

Whew! I can’t tell you what a relief that was. In the back of my mind, the thought of being busted for something hadn’t quite gone away.

So Nelson left, but then for the next two days, nothing.

Finally, the phone rang. “Hey, I’m a friend of Nelson. He told me about your service, and I’d like to get me some of that.”

I invited this new guy over, and he jerked off in front of me, having a delightful time in the process. I got my $40.

Later that same day, I got another phone call, and sure enough, it was an other friend of Nelson. When he arrived, and before he disrobed, he explained that he was also a detective, but wasn’t here on business, and assured me he was in total alignment with what I was doing. I talked him through a session, and it went great.

To cut a long story short, I had more than 40 clients over the very next month, Most were friends of Nelson, or friends of his friends. Within a year, my business grew to a full clientele, and I continued to learn a lot about my very specialized business.

For instance, on day, an older guy named Andy came by. He was in his mid-sixties, exceedingly friendly, totally fit, and rather good-looking with striking white hair and a matching, neatly trimmed white beard. He kind of reminded me of the Kentucky Fried Chicken guy, Colonel Sanders. I started in on him, and found his whole self surprisingly attractive for a guy more than three times my age. It felt reassuring to know that guys can still be like that at that age, because that’s what I hope to be like someday.

We started in on his session, and I really felt I would have liked getting naked along with him, and jerking him off, or maybe have him jerk me off, or maybe even a blowjob or something.

I got the sense he was playing along with me, as many of my clients did. They already knew this advanced masturbation stuff, but I think they just enjoyed the company, and maybe having a guy watch them jerk off. I think too, that they liked the weirdness of it. I mean, how often does a guy get masturbation lessons?

After a while, Andy offered to teach me some new things. For a second, my professional pride was hurt. Like I’m supposed to be the expert here. But Andy was disarming, and I thought about it logically: Yes, if there’s more to be learned, then I certainly ought to find out.

So we talked a bit after his session. I offered him some tea and some crackers, and we sat around my mom’s kitchen table talking some more. I had an hour before the next client, and I was really enjoying my conversation with Andy. He invited himself over to see me during my next opening, which was two days away, and teach me some things.

He wanted to do it for no charge, although I gladly would have paid him something. I mean, if he actually had anything useful, it would make me a lot more money!

I was already way beyond my dreams, making over $4,000 per month, got my mom’s mortgage caught up, we were eating better, and had a few new things, but I could always use more. Maybe Mom could even retire!

During the next two days, and especially during various clients’ sessions, I though a lot about Andy. First, there was something so likeable about the guy. He even smelled nice. But what could he possibly teach me?

Finally, he arrived, and I had a two-hour block for him. As soon as he was in the door, he threw off all his clothes, but then he did something unexpected. He told me to take mine off also. I started to object. I mean, this has always been a one-way business. But he said this wasn’t business as usual. He wasn’t a client. He was the teacher this time, and the lesson required that I be naked. Surprisingly, I was uncomfortable with taking off my clothes, but what could I say? I was also secretly delighted.

In all that time, with all those clients, all I ever did was jerk myself off. Never did I even touch another guy. The last times where when I massaged James and Clint with their happy endings.

At first hesitantly, because it was a bit weird, and then quickly finishing, I took everything off. It was easy to do, because I kept the house warmer than usual for my clients, so they’d be more inclined to get naked. Anyway, there I was, already erect in front of old Andy. I was simultaneously embarrassed, and yet proud of my erection.

He had me lay down on the table and the very first thing he did was a surprise. I figured he’d grab my dick and do, well, something. Instead, he reached forward with just one fingertip, and ever so lightly touched my frenulum, the little fold on the underside of my penis near the head.

My penis jumped nearly an inch. It felt very, very nice. I had never experienced anything like that. After a few seconds, he did it again, and it felt just as great as the first time. He did it several more times and it was excellent every time. He kept doing it for several minutes, and although it wasn’t orgasmic, it was absolutely delightful.

Then he did another weird thing. He grabbed my frenulum between his thumb and the side of his first finger, and lifted my penis up by it. Now that, almost instantly, felt orgasmic. Oh, I didn’t cum, and wasn’t even close. But, he kept pulling, and then shaking my penis a bit, still pinching the frenulum. If he kept it up, I would cum.

Andy was an artist. He knew exactly when to quit and move on to the next technique. He asked whether I liked intensity. At that point, I was up, literally, for anything.

He put some of my massage oil on the palm of his right hand, and grabbed the shaft of my penis with his left hand. Then he lightly rubbed his right palm over the tip of my penis. Now, I had instructed my clients to do this many times, and it seemed to make them flinch, although delightfully. But I had never had it done to me.

It was the most ungodly feeling! Kind of a tickle, but no, something almost torturous, but not that either. It was very hard to take, yet I loved it. He kept rubbing, and I was squirming all over the place. He told me to pretend I was tied down and couldn’t get away. He kept rubbing his palm over my glans, and I kept squirming and something more. I discovered that I was kind of shivering or maybe you’d call it jittering. That sensation has no equivalent. If you haven’t experienced it, you’ll have to give it a try. The only problem is, you can’t do it to yourself. You won’t stand for it. You need someone, and it doesn’t matter who – could be a man or a woman – to do it to you.

In time, it transmuted into something less difficult to accommodate. I settled down, and noticed that it had changed into a sort of ‘gotta-pee’ feeling combined with a ‘gonna-cum’ feeling. Yet, neither happened. I would have loved to have that happen all day, but Andy explained that even with the massage oil, it would eventually irritate the skin of my glans.

So far, all of these techniques were magnificent, but I couldn’t use them with my clients, because they are about one person ‘doing’ another. However, I was having thoughts about expanding my business for some of my better clients into mutual sessions of some sort.

Andy’s next trick was something I could indeed use on my clients. He had me masturbate myself just to the point where I feel the orgasmic feeling coming on, then stop. I did this a few times and it was nice, but also frustrating because my body really wanted me to cum.

Then, he wanted me to keep going when I started feeling like I’d be ejaculating momentarily, but greatly reduce the stimulation. But only for a second or two until the feeling started to subside just a little bit, then resume full stimulation. He explained that it is possible to stay in orgasm, without ejaculating, all day long, if one wishes, with practice.

On that first occasion, it almost worked for me. I was in that pre-orgalmic state for perhaps an entire minute. I felt new sensations I had never felt before. One was a sort of horniness deep in my lower stomach. It was almost frustrating like the previous sensation. I really wanted to cum, but it wasn’t quite the same. It was remarkably satisfying. Because for that minute, I didn’t cum, but I was orgasming, and it was OK. I also felt a delicious momentary stinging in my urethra. A moment later, I was having actual dry orgasms. I felt some contractions, but nothing came out. This was truly amazing, and something I never expected was possible.

Oops, I slipped over the edge and ejaculated. Andy cheered me, and told me with practice, I’ll be able to stay right in the middle of an orgasm for minutes at a time. He also told me about some variations in which I can have mini-ejaculations, in which I cum just a drop or two at a time, but can stay hard and in the mood, doing it over and over, for hours, if so desired.

Once I went over the edge, I felt it would be nice to reciprocate, and he must have figured I would, since he had been naked also. So, I got him on the table. His penis was already hard, about 5 inches long, kind of thin, circumcised, and sticking straight up. Like me, he shaves all the hair from that area. His chest was covered in a blanket of thick white curls.

Andy wanted the glans – head of penis – rubbing thing, and I gave it to him big-time. He squirmed just like I did, plus he yelled and laughed. Then, he wanted me to massage his balls. I was afraid to do it as firm as he wanted, but he kept telling me to squeeze harder.

The trick, he taught me, is to avoid squeezing the area on the rear of the testicles near the top where the spermatic cords attach, which he called the ‘epididimis.’ That’s a sensitive area, and probably fragile too. But whereas the testicles register pain with the slightest impact, they can take a rather tremendous squeezing force anywhere except the attachment area.

He let me know that he’d say something if I squeezed too hard. Still, I wasn’t squeezing as hard as he wanted. He told me that balls aren’t like grapes. They’re more like raw chicken gizzards. They have a thick rubbery covering that won’t burst or anything like that.

I found his pain threshold, and it was really high. He explained a man will feel extreme pain well before any damage can be inflicted. It’s hitting balls that hurts, not squeezing, unless it is very intense. He also let me know he’s not necessarily typical. Some men don’t like their balls squeezed at all.

Finding the amount of pressure just short of where it hurt him, I continued to squeeze both balls simultaneously, one between the thumb and first two fingers of each hand. Sometimes, they’d suddenly slip to another position in his scrotum, which made him jump, but he said he particularly liked that effect. Suddenly, his penis started spurting cum, even though I hadn’t been touching it. He was very happy indeed.

Andy and I hit it off, and started seeing each other regularly, generally after all my clients in the evenings. We’d practice our techniques on each other, right there on the massage table in the living room. Sometimes my mom came home in the middle of our activities, but she was fine with it, just ignoring us, and going into the kitchen or wherever she was headed.

She seemed to like Andy, but who wouldn’t? We found out he was a former golf pro who had been frugal with his money in his mid-twenties to mid-forties, and has been living off his investments ever since.

One Saturday I came home from some errands, evidently sooner than Andy and my mom had expected. There, on the massage table, was my mother, getting a treatment from Andy, and in the throes of ecstasy. He had two fingers in her vagina, and his index finger from his other hand was in her butt, and she was bucking and screaming like a wild horse. She’s not at all overweight, but her large breasts were flopping around like crazy. I was surprised, and momentarily shocked, to see that she had no crotch hair. Heck, truth be told, I was absolutely shocked to see my own mother, naked, and having a wonderful sexual time.

I thought under the circumstances, the thing to do would be to instantly let them know that I had no problem with what was going on, so I smiled, and said, “Don’t let me stop you.” They didn’t.

That started happening more and more often. And why not? She’s only about ten years younger than Andy.

What you may find more shocking is what happened with Andy and I. Our sessions became more. Much more. It started with the time he was doing something to me, and I suddenly pulled him toward me and kissed him. As soon as I did that, I knew I had crossed a line. He didn’t back away. More than that, he kissed me back, turning in to Frenching. I was delighted!

In one session, he added another technique. He took his index finger, and rubbed it around my anus a bit, just like I had done a year ago to James. But then he lubbed it with massage oil and very slowly slipped it in my ass, right there in front of my mother who had been enjoying seeing her son have so much fun. I was rather proud of her seeing my erection, and the man, the sexual being, I had become.

At first his finger didn’t feel right. It felt kind of achy, but only for a moment. Suddenly, it felt great, and I wanted him to jam it all the way in. But he took a long time putting it in, kind of twisting back and forth a bit as he gently pushed. Finally, it was all the way in, and I couldn’t have been happier. But there was more coming: Next, he curled his finger forward, found my prostate, and massaged it. I felt a bit like I had to pee, but something much nicer.

After a minute, he pulled his finger out – very slowly. I could have sworn his finger was a foot long. Then he put two fingers in. It kind of stung, so he quit for that session. He told me there’d be more of that, but didn’t give any details.

In other sessions, we started sucking each others dicks and that became so common that we enjoyed it almost daily. Sometimes we cum in each others mouths, which was nice, and his cum tasted nice, but we usually saved our ejaculations for all our masturbation-like activities. A couple of times, my mom sucked Andy right in front of me. You’d think that would be disgusting, but no, it was hot! I kept hoping she might volunteer to suck me, but that never happened.

In the next few weeks, Andy and I did the anal finger thing to each other. One day, he handed me a condom in a packet and told me to fuck him, much as I had seen him and my mother do on the massage table a few times. Of course, he meant fuck him in the ass, however. I didn’t hesitate at all. I got right on that job. My super-hard cock went right in. It was probably a more sudden thrust than Andy might have wanted, but to his credit, he seemed to enjoy my dick in his ass completely. It was the first time I had ever butt-fucked anyone, and I must say it was way, way better than when I fucked Michelle in the pussy. An ass is much tighter, and well, I have to say, more enjoyable. Especially Andy’s ass.

In that session, he managed to get three fingers in my ass. I really wanted more, I craved more, but he said that we’d do that another time.

The next session, we went all the way. He put on a condom, put me on the table on all fours, and fucked me. That in itself would have been sufficient to be a cherished memory for the rest of my life, but something else happened too. My mom sauntered over, reached under me, and as casually as if she was making a salad, she pulled on my penis a few times while he was in me. He came and I came at the same time.

It didn’t take long for Andy and my mom to get married. They moved out of the funky little house, and into his big house in the suburbs. Meanwhile, I bought a home and rented an office in town, and my business continues to grow. I still teach advanced massage to beginners, but offer a fuller range of services to the established clients. Oh, and I charge a lot more than $40 per session these days!

My mom is happy to share Andy with me, and often all three of us play together. However, another client came into the picture. His name is Ralph and he is just a year older than me. He started out like any other client, but things soon progressed. He especially appreciates rebels like me. No, he especially appreciates only one rebel, me. He loves me. And I love him to death. And he and I live in my fancy new house, and we practice all sorts of techniques on each other.

One of us is supposed to be a bottom and the other a top. But we’ve never figured out which one is which. We just play every which way.

Naked Dorm Living

by Jeremy J. Watson

In high school, I learned some programming and had fun writing simple computer games. So I thought studying software design in college would be a good idea. I was accepted to a small university in Southern Oregon, 200 miles from home.

Money was going to be tight, but I had a tiny scholarship, a few thousand dollars from my parents, and a student loan. I’d be alright.

I was a bit concerned about living away from home, but that was trumped by excitement. I had no idea what it would be like, other than that I wouldn’t have parents telling me to go to bed at 10pm, or that I should eat more vegetables.

I didn’t have any experience with sex yet, so I was very much looking forward to that, also. I mean, it’s in college where guys and girls typically ‘do it’ for the first time, right?

On the other hand, I had a lot of experience with masturbating. I can say that, can’t I? Probably my biggest concern about going away to college was actually about jerking off. At home, I could do it in my room with the door locked, and had as much time as I needed. My parents probably thought I was studying all the time. I certainly hope that’s what they thought.

My concern is that with a college roommate, I wouldn’t have the privacy I’d need. Because a guy’s got to do what a guy’s got to do.

e
The day arrived. I said goodbye to my parents and my sister, and got on the train. In the late afternoon, I arrived at the Amtrak station, and figured out how to take a bus from the center of town to the campus. I got in line to get my room assignment and key. The line was long and a bit frustrating, but I was excited to see my dorm room.

It took forever to find the right building, then the right hallway, but finally, around 6pm, I slipped the card through the slot, and the door opened.

It was a room alright, but I barely noticed. Because, standing at a piano keyboard against the far wall, wearing headphones, was my new roommate. The thing was, other than the headphones, he was wearing absolutely nothing.

It took him a moment to notice I had entered. You’d think he would have jumped, or made a move to cover up, but no, he just slowly turned around, took off the headphones and broke out with a great big smile. Then, stepping toward me with his hand outstretched, he said “I’m Jake Landis.”

Shocked, and not knowing any other way to react, I shook his hand and introduced myself. “Jeremy J. Watson. People call me ‘JJ.’ Pleased to meet you.” My voice trailed off in uncertainly on that last bit.

Trying not to sound too disappointed or weirded out, I asked, “So, you’re my roommate?” Meanwhile, I was thinking there must be an explanation.

“Absolutely,dude, as long as you belong in room 433.”

I had to know, so I just came out and asked. “Why are you naked, Jake?”

“Why not, JJ?”

“Well, because…” I couldn’t actually come up with a good reason. I was still trying to understand the situation. After gym class, I’d see guys naked in the showers. But, I had never seen my mom, dad or sister naked. Nor anyone else.

And here was this guy, acting like it was perfectly normal. I found myself staring, and quickly looked away. But not before noticing that he was pretty good-looking. He was tall, light-skinned, had what you might call dirty-blond, fairly-long hair, a neatly trimmed beard, sparkly blue eyes, a fetching smile, and a remarkably square jaw. He was standing tall, and looked quite confidant. I wished I looked like that, and felt like that.

I also noticed his private area. He had removed all the hair. I had always been self-conscious about that. I shave my balls a bit, keeping the rest of the hair in that region short. I do it because it makes me feel cleaner, but somehow wouldn’t want to reveal that I shave there to anyone.

Ignoring the direction of the conversation, Jake asked, “What are you in for?”

“Huh?”

“What are you going to study?”

“Oh,” I answered. “Computer programming.”

“I’m in the music program. I’m a floutist.” Seeing my quizzical look, he added, “I play the flute.”

“Sounds like a tough way to make a living,” I said, without thinking. My mind was still on ‘Why is this guy nude?’

“I’ve got some good ideas. Not quite like Jethro Tull or Tim Weisberg, but I have a feeling I’ll make a name for the flute. It’s not your typical rock ‘n’ roll instrument, and that’s one reason I like it. I guess I’m a bit of a rebel.”

I didn’t know who those people he mentioned were, but I could certainly tell he was a rebel.

He went on. “I have a backup plan, too. I also play piano, and would be just about as happy teaching an instrument, as playing. Music teachers can make a lot of money.”

“Cool.” I couldn’t think of what else to say.

“Hey, feel free to join me.”

I didn’t understand and it must have shown on my face.

“Dude, you don’t need to wear clothes in here if you don’t want to.”

“Um, that’s OK.”

“Suit yourself,” Jake replied.

I was sufficiently weirded out by this guy that I thought of going back to the registration office and asking for another room.

The problem was I was hungry. I was on the meal plan, and wanted to find the cafeteria. That trumped going to the registration office. Besides, it would be a big line down there. I could always get a different room tomorrow.

“Well, good to meet you Jake. I’m headed to the cafeteria.”

“JJ, hang on, I’ll join you.”

That concerned me greatly. First of all, was he planning to go there naked? If so, I didn’t want to know this guy. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know him anyway. Just as I was thinking up a way to politely decline, he grabbed some shorts and a T-shirt off his bed and started putting them on. What could I say?

“Sure, let’s go.”

On the short walk, I thought he was going to carry on about music, but he did something I didn’t expect. He started asking me questions about my computer interest. He wanted to know about the games I created. I had to admit they were nothing much, but felt surprisingly honored that he wanted to know.

Along the way, he said “Hi” to everyone we passed, and smiling at them. He seemed to draw them out of their shells, as they said “Hi” back and smiled in return. The women, in particular, had big smiles for him. By extension, just by walking next to Jake, they seemed to smile at me as well in a way that made me feel bigger than I am.

As it turns out, I’m not that big. It’s due to my Thai background. When I was in my adolescence and started to grow I was very happy, but when I topped out around sixteen at 5’4″, I kept hoping for more, and never got it.

We arrived at the cafeteria in the nick of time. It was closing so there wasn’t much food left. But Jake and I weren’t picky. We were just hungry. We talked as we ate, and the funny thing was that now he had clothes on, he normalized in my mind. I actually found him likable.

Once we returned to our room, he took off his sandals, T-shirt and shorts again. I almost forgot that he might do that, and I went from liking him, to not so sure. This naked business was just too weird.

At the same time, I kind of liked what I saw. I always thought I was one hundred percent into girls, but Jake was rather decent looking. I felt a kind of tightening in my balls. Pretty soon, as Jake and I were idly chatting about school, trying to guess what it would be like, I was starting to think I’d like to go jerk off somewhere. I excused myself and went down the hall to the bathroom. Unfortunately, there were several guys in there, and so wanking was out of the question. This would be the first time in a long while that I’d have to go to sleep without jerking off. Oh, I had done it when I wasn’t horny, but damn it! I was horny. I don’t know if it was seeing Jake that did that to me, or just the concept of nakedness.

Returning to the room, I found Jake playing his electric piano. It was set up against the back wall, so all I saw was his back and his butt. Probably because I was already horny, I found myself appreciating what I saw. I couldn’t quite hear what he was playing. I heard the keys ticking very slightly as he pressed them, and felt the vibration from one of his feet tapping the floor while the other was pressing a pedal off and on. I also heard just the slightest squeaking coming from his headphones. It seemed like some sort of bluegrass.

I don’t think he heard me come in, because after a minute, he quit playing music, and instead started playing with his penis. Or, at least that’s what it looked like, since he was facing away from me.

Suddenly, he noticed I was standing there. He turned around with a smile and said “Hi.” The thing was, his penis was erect!

I was wondering whether I should leave the room, or say “Excuse me,” or maybe be mad at him, or something. I really didn’t know how to react. It was his smile that disarmed me. Trying to sound cool, I simply said, “Having a little wank?”

He said, “Yup.” He could have said anything else and I would have been less surprised.

At that point, he took off his headphones, hit the power button on the piano, then sat down sideways on his bed, with one hand holding his rather large penis. Then, he started fondling his balls with his other hand. In a moment, he was stroking his penis up and down.

Meanwhile, I was just standing next to the door, dumbfounded. He broke me out of my hypnosis by saying, “Join me?”

Wow, how does a guy respond to that? I know now, what I should have done, but what I did at the time was just plain stupid.

“Oh, you go ahead. I’m going to go on a walk.”

“Suit yourself,” he answered, and went right on stroking.

I didn’t really want to leave. I wanted to stay and watch. And, truth be told, I wanted to wank right along with him. But I was to, well, shy, I guess, so having left myself no option, I went back out of the room, and walked aimlessly around the campus for fifteen minutes. Several other students said “Hi” to me on my walk, but my head was so full of this Jake situation, I barely nodded to them.

When I returned to the room, Jake wasn’t there. He arrived about two minutes later, without a stitch of clothing. I realized, he had been walking in the hall that way! I guess he figured it’s OK to go to the bathroom totally naked. Maybe it was. This was a male dorm, after all. But there’s no way in hell I would, or could, do that. Actually, there’s a part of me that would like to have been so bold. Especially at this moment. I hadn’t jerked off yet, and was both horny and annoyed.

It was getting late, so I climbed into my bed, said “G’nite” to Jake, and turned out my little reading light. Jake got into his bed, still naked, and turned out his light.

It took me approximately forever to get to sleep that night. I thought about wanking under the covers, but Jake would probably know what I was doing. In the morning, I woke up frustrated and sleepy.

I was hoping to wank in the bathroom, but again, there were guys coming and going. That was out of the question. Maybe I could have shut myself in a stall, but I think they’d know what I was doing.

Jake was still asleep when I returned from peeing, brushing my teeth and all that, so I went to breakfast hoping that the coffee was good and strong. This was one of those cafeterias that are focusing on good food, so I was happy to find bananas, whole grain pancakes, berries, and of course fairly good coffee.

My first ever class was scheduled for 9am, more than an hour away, and Jake had already left, so back in the room, I pulled off my shorts and gave myself a good rubbing resulting in a nice orgasm. Oddly, it wasn’t thoughts of girls that came to my mind, but goofy naked Jake. That kind of worried me.

Literally, less than a minute after I had finished, threw away the Kleenex, and pulled my shorts back on, Jake came banging through the door. Close call! I made a note that he will just come in, not knock first.

“Have a good wank?” he asked.

I’m sure my cheeks turned red. “What makes you think that?”

“I can smell it, you know, the chlorine-like smell.”

“Well, um…”

“Dude, I’m your roommate. We’re going to be together for two years or more. OK, look, everyone masturbates. Please don’t let me stop you, just like you didn’t stop me yesterday.”

“Hey Jake, if I can ask, what’s with you? You seem hell-bent on nakedness and, well, everything.”

“Maybe not everything,” he laughed. “I’ve never thought it out fully. I’m kind of a rebel, so I’m naturally attracted to anything that’s different. But more than that, I feel that our society needs some shaking up. One of the biggest concerns is the sexual attitudes, especially in this country.

“Us Americans are so up-tight. So conservative about sexual matters, and it has a detrimental effect. How many guys, and girls too, for that matter, make off-color jokes at the wrong times, try to get with people who aren’t good company just for the sex, and generally make fools out of themselves because they’re horny and don’t have proper outlets? How many people engage in risky sex just to get satisfaction?

“Now, imagine a world, in which everyone is allowed to be sexually satisfied. Imagine being able to jerk off at a bus stop, if you wanted, and everyone would be OK with it. What might happen? You’d be sexually satisfied, right? And so would everyone else in such a society.

“On the same token, take nudity. You’re a guy, so you know: You see a pretty girl in a bikini, or naked, and you go nuts. It shouldn’t be like that. You should be able to see a naked girl, or guy, and it should just be normal. Just like it is normal to see people’s faces. Once everyone is normalized in those ways, there’d be no more rape, no more bad marriages, and a lot more love in the world.

“I have a theory that even international warfare would end, although I haven’t quite made the mental leap as to exactly why that would happen. But I’ll bet it would.

“There, lecture over. But you asked!” He flashed a big smile at the end.

It took me a while to absorb even the beginning thoughts that provoked, so after several seconds, I simply said, “Wow, Jake, you gave me a lot to think about! I’m starting to appreciate you more.”

I hope he took that last bit as a compliment, and judging by his smile, he did.

“Thank you, JJ. We’re going to be great roomies.”

During the first few days of school, I was feeling great about almost everything. The classes were not only going to be interesting, but the professors seemed like they’d be fun. I met a small girl named Junie in the cafeteria. She looked like she might possibly be Thai. She turned out to be Filipino, which is fine with me. We talked a bit, and exchanged phone numbers. We’ve texted back and forth a few times about just random things. She was in her second year of studying nursing.

I really thought about what Jake had said, and even talked with him more about his whole concept. I feel I am in full agreement, if only theoretically. I’m not quite ready to take my clothes off and wank in front of the whole world. And, to be fair, Jake doesn’t do that. He’s just more of a nudist than I am.

I had been fully intending to pull off my pants and jerk off in the room while he was in there, if for no other reason, than to offer him some solidarity. But every time an opportunity came along, I chickened out. I mean, it just seemed too weird. On the other hand, I wished I was bold enough. The concept is really cool. To be free enough to jerk off in front of another guy. But I wasn’t able to actually do it.

It was like that when my dad was teaching me to drive. For a month, he kept telling me to get on the freeway. I wanted to, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I wanted to invite Junie to my room but because of the Jake thing, I felt I probably shouldn’t. I had been to her room and met her roommate, Chirelle, who seemed like a nice girl. Junie met at the pizza place a couple of times.

About two weeks in, I got a text from Junie, “Why don’t you invite me over?”

“Can’t.”

“Why not?”

“My roommie.”

“What’s wrong with your roomie, a religion freak or something?”

“No, a nudist.”

I hadn’t ment to say that. I just texted it without thinking about the consequences.

“Really?!!!”

“Are you a nudist, too?”

The trouble with text is you can’t figure out what’s underneath. I mean, was she shocked? Intrigued? Was she a nudist? Did she hope I was, or wasn’t?

“No, not yet, anyway.”

“Well, if I came over, would he keep his clothes on?”

“Dunno.”

“And if he didn’t, would that be so bad?”

“I suppose if you could handle it,” I texted back, getting in the swing of the conversation.

“I wanna meet him.”

“OK, I’ll ask him.”

About an hour later, Jake came home, throwing all his clothes on the bed as usual, then tromping down the hall to the bathroom. I noticed that none of the guys on the floor had said anything about that. If they were shocked, they kept it to themselves. I didn’t see anyone else walking nude in the hallway. It occurred to me that during daylight hours, there were also occasional women in the dorm on our floor. Oh, well, that was Jake’s business.

When he returned, I asked, “Hey Jake, this girl I met wants to hang out here sometimes. Are you cool with that?”

“Sure,” he said, and then kiddingly, “I’d like to see what kind of girl would put up with you.”

“Thanks, Buddy,” I said sarcastically.

I knew he was going to be home at 3pm, the next afternoon, and both Junie and I were free at that time, so I texted her the room number, and said come on over. I was really curious to see what would happen. I imagined all sorts of scenarios, most quite wicked, like him being naked, she deciding to get naked also, and the three of us having some sort of orgy. Or, on the opposite extreme, he would get naked, she’d freak out, and run out of the room.

I found myself actually quite nervous at 3pm. I had brought a bottle of sparkling apple juice and there glasses. Jake was already there, naked.

‘Oh boy!’ I thought, ‘let the games begin.’

A moment later, there was a knock at the door. As I stood to open it, Jake grabbed his shorts and T-shirt and in two or three seconds, he was dressed.

Junie came in, and I introduced them. I didn’t have to, they knew each other. After a few minutes of excited conversation, I found out that they had crossed paths on the campus a few times, and had spoken only enough to know each others names. In my mind, I had somehow jumped to the conclusion that they knew each other very well, if you know what I mean.

I poured the juice, and we toasted, and drank. We talked about school, what we’re each studying and so on. Jake was curious about nursing, and Junie was happy to tell what nursing school is like. No, they hadn’t worked with real humans yet, but it was starting this very semester.

“So, JJ tells me you’re a nudist.”

I almost gagged on my cider.

“Yes, I like being clothes-free, and have a lot to say about that, for those who find it interesting.”

“Really?” She inquired. “Yes, do tell.”

He rolled out the whole theory about how people should become normalized about nudity, masturbation and sex, and how we’d all have a better society from it. He added more details than I had heard before, and I found the whole thing interesting, finding myself agreeing with it, even if I hadn’t actually done any of it. Well, I masturbated, but certainly not in front of anyone.

In fact, the whole time in school so far, I had been wanting to jerk off openly in front of Jake every single evening. And yet, the harder I tried to make it happen, the more I slipped away. It was getting to the point of ridiculous. I really wanted to do it, and yet I wouldn’t do it.

“Gosh Jake, I like your whole… well, the whole idea sounds pretty good,” Junie responded.

Jake left for a four o’clock rehearsal. Junie and I hung out a while talking about Jake and his philosophy.

“You know, I think he’s on to something,” she said.

I agreed.

She had a 5pm study group. On her way out, she gave me a little peck on the cheek. I was stunned and delighted.

With the room empty, I wanked again. That had been my habit. On the rare occasions when I could have some privacy, I tried to make up for the times when I didn’t.

A couple of days later, Jake asked me whether he could have someone over. I didn’t think anything about it, and said “Sure.”

The next day, I had forgotten about it, and came barging in after an early afternoon class. Hearing music should have been a clue, but I thought Jake was just playing his iPhone tunes through his Bluetooth speaker.

I was stunned to see Jake sitting on his bed playing his flute, and a girl sitting on my bed playing guitar. As usual, he was naked. But, so was she! She was a gorgeous, rounded, freckled red-head. Seeing her like that, even though the guitar covered her vagina, sent immediate shivers of sexuality through my body.

They hung out for another fifteen minutes or so. Their music was really nice. Kind of a lively, lilting hillbilly thing. They told me they were “Irish pub songs.” I tried to focus on my studies at my desk, with my back mostly turned to the two of them. I was trying to make excuses to turn around from time to time, because I just wanted to breath in the sight of her. After a few minutes, I figured it was just fine to turn around, and appreciate their music. It seemed that they were perfectly fine with them being naked, and me being clothed. They were happy to have me as an audience.

He kissed her passionately when she put on her clothes and left.

“That’s Patty,” is all he said.

Junie came over again, I thought Jake was going to be out, but he was there, fully clothed for a change, when she came over. I was happy to have both of them for company. That is, until Jake pulled something that immediately scared the bejeepers out of me.

He suggested we play strip poker. I figured Junie would politely decline, as I had intended to do, but to my surprise, she said, “Cool!”

What the fuck was I supposed to do? Now, I couldn’t very well decline. Yet, I was so completely out of my comfort zone. I hadn’t even been naked once in front of Jake. I changed under the covers or when he wasn’t around.

The funny thing is if he hadn’t been such a gonzo nudist, I probably would have been fine changing in front of him. It’s just that the more time that passed, the worse I became. I was starting to realize I was a genuine, stupid, stuck-in-the-mud prude.

OK, so maybe it was time to get naked in front of Jake. But in front of Junie, too? She and I were still way too distant. All we did was a bit of hugging, and only while standing, at that.

But what could I say? How could I decline, and not come off as an out-of-touch idiot? I really didn’t want to seem that way in front of Junie.

I realized that she was becoming really important to me, but our relationship was still fragile. If I acted like a fool, like a weakling prude, or whatever, she’d probably find someone more to her liking. I had been trying to be more gregarious around her, because Junie was really quite out-going.

It turned out that I didn’t really get a chance to answer. While I was still trying to think of what to say, they both just assumed I’d be on board with it.

He rummaged around in his desk and found a deck of cards.

The two of them started assessing clothing. It seems because I was wearing a T-shirt, shorts with a belt, and shoes and socks, I had three too many items. They told me to loose the shoes and the belt. Then we were even. So far, I handled that without freaking out.

They decided strip poker would be too slow. Instead, we were just going to draw cards and whoever got the lowest card each time, would have to take something off.

I was the first to lose something. Feeling just a bit shaky, I took off a sock.

Junie was next, losing a sandal.

She lost again, and removed her other sandal.

Jake lost one sandal.

I lost my other sock. So now, I was barefoot. No big deal. Still, I felt strangely weak.

Junie lost the next round. Getting up from my office chair, she took off her T-shirt and sat back down. She hadn’t been wearing a bra.

Boy, did I like what I saw! Oh, I’d seen naked women on the Internet, but never really paid much attention. I masturbated to them a few times, but here was a real, live, beautiful girl in my presence and I was looking at her boobs! And it was not just any girl, it was Junie. And she was beautiful. Her breasts weren’t particularly large. They didn’t hang down like some of the pictures I had seen. They were just light brown half-domes on her chest topped by pointy dark brown nipples. I had an instinctual desire to touch them, but of course I didn’t.

I can’t imagine what she was thinking at that point, but she was acting as if it was business as usual. Just hanging out with some friends.

The next loser was me. I took off my shirt, feeling a bit self-conscious. That’s pretty goofy when you think about it. Here was this beautiful topless girl five feet away from me, and I was worried about her seeing me without a shirt. Come to think of it, Jake was seeing me without a shirt as well.

Junie was having a positive effect on me, despite my nervousness. I could feel my penis growing in my pants. In shock, I realized that when we were all naked, I’d have an erection if I wasn’t careful. I started willing very hard for it to go down.

We played the next hand, and I was the loser again. I was horrified. They’d probably see at least the outline of my penis through my briefs. But what could I do? Remembering a Robert Frost quote, “The only way out is through,” I stood up to take off my shorts. My knees were surprisingly weak. I was actually shaking a bit. This was not good.

I was in a trap, so I did what I had to do, I pulled off my shorts. Looking down at myself, I could see that the outline of my penis was indeed visible, and it was pretty obviously hard, laying in there at a 45 degree angle.

I was glad no one said anything. I probably would have become permanently insane if either of them had pointed to my underwear and said, “JJ has a boner,” or anything of that sort.

Jake lost the next hand, and pulled off his T-shirt.

To my absolute horror, I lost the next round. My face turned all red, and I couldn’t trust my voice. My knees were literally shaking. I was hoping that Junie and Jake didn’t notice that.

I wanted to hesitate. I wanted to run out of the room. I wanted to tell them they were both stupid, or worse. Of course I couldn’t do any of that. “The only way out is through.” So, I did what I had to do. I pulled off my underwear, carefully lifting it over my fully hard penis.

One of the most embarrassing parts was how I had been shaving my balls. I didn’t want them to think I was some sort of weirdo.

I don’t know what I was expecting, but Junie was the first to comment. “Beautiful!” is what she said.

Right afterward, Jake said, “Dude, you’re a good-looking guy. I like that woodie of yours.”

I sat back down on my bed, quietly saying, “Thank you,” because I had no clue as to how to act in that moment. Fortunately, the two of them went on as if we did this sort of thing every day.

Jake lost the next hand, and just pulled off his shorts and underwear together. He, too, was hard.

I started to feel better, less freaked out, now that he was naked too. It helped considerably that I wasn’t the only guy with an erection.

Junie could have played another hand, but instead, she just took off her shorts in a single swoop. She didn’t have any underwear. She had no hair on her crotch. She was absolutely beautiful. I don’t know what I was expecting, but as she was standing there, her vagina was really just a one or two-inch slot between her legs. One might think that wouldn’t be much to look at, but I was hypnotized.

I think girls are used to modeling clothes. They naturally like to turn around, and that’s what she did for us. As she turned, I noticed her naked ass for the first time, and was instantly transported. I just loved that light brown, smooth, small butt of hers. I wanted to come right over and hug her, but I was too shy.

I was wondering what was going to happen next. Would we just hang out naked and talk? Maybe Jake would play us some music? Maybe we were done, would put on our clothes, and Junie would head back to her dorm.

Jake had the answer. I glanced at him sitting on his bed and saw that he was masturbating. Oh my god! As if the day wasn’t weird enough already!

I watched Junie stare at him for a moment, and then she had a sort of deer-in-the-headlights look. She held that for just a moment, and then I think she got it. She understood his whole message.

She started by licking her fingertips, and then she appeared to gently squeeze her nipples between the thumb and first finger of each hand. She leaned back in the chair and quietly said, “Hmmm!”

Jake continued to stroke himself, but lazily, as he watched Junie, with an occasional glance to me.

I just sat there, with my erection sticking straight up, unattended.

After a moment, Junie stood up, walked over to me, then sat down on the bed next to me. I could feel the heat of her body, and I could feel the sexual charge in mine. She turned her head toward me and kissed me right on the mouth. We kept kissing as I tentatively put my arms around her and drew her closer. The way I held her was a bit awkward, but I think neither of us cared. It certainly felt wonderful holding a real, live, naked, beautiful human being in my arms like that.

We continued our kissing, as it turned into French kissing. I felt her tongue gently pry against my lips. I naturally let her in, and soon we were fully kissing.

I couldn’t resist any longer, and figuring it would be alright under the circumstances, I placed my right hand tentatively and lightly on her left boob. I squeezed ever so gently. I had no idea it would feel so beautiful. Soft and firm at the same time.

I hoped she didn’t notice how much I was shaking.

She responded with a very appreciative “Hmmm.”

I felt something warm on my penis. She had wrapped her hand around it. It was more than just warm. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. Suddenly, I felt that feeling you get when you’re going to ejaculate. It came on fast. So fast that I couldn’t even say anything, and bang, I was ejaculating in her hand!

Jake stood up, came over to both of us, kind of stooped down, and put his arms around both of us, who were still locked in our own embrace. “Wonderful!” is all he said.

After a long, three-way embrace, Jake said that it was getting late, but there was one thing that still needed to be done.

I had no idea what he could be talking about.

“Junie hasn’t had an orgasm.”

“Oh, that’s OK, she said.”

“Here,” he said, and with that, he gently separated us, and indicated that Junie should fully recline on my bed with a light push against her upper chest.

Positioning himself over her so that his head was near her vagina, he pursed his lips and gently blew on her. She looked ecstatic. He then started licking her vagina.

I was having an unexpected emotion. I was jealous. Shouldn’t I be the one doing that to her? It only lasted a moment, because I should have know the kind of guy Jake is. He backed away, and gave me a little ‘take over’ motion with his hand.

Awkwardly, I took his place and did my best to lick Junie’s most amazing pussy. It took me a while to work out the details, but got to where my tongue was partly lapping into her slit.

At one point, she whispered, “A little higher JJ.”

I found what I believed was her clit, and focused my licking on that. She started shaking sort of like I was, and started moaning louder and louder. I was becoming worried that the neighbors would hear us and come crashing through the door to find out what was wrong. She started arching her back, and practically yelled, “Don’t stop! Don’t stop!”

I felt her tense all up, and realized she was having an orgasm. I kept licking, and she seemed to have another, smaller orgasm. This was so exciting that my penis started hardening up again, something it never does until at least an hour after I’ve ejaculated.

I continued licking Junie, until she gently pushed my head away. Then, letting instinct take over, she and I cuddled on my bed.

Looking over at Jake, I saw that he was sitting on the edge of his bed, wanking big-time, with his penis as large as I had ever seen it, and a moment later, he was ejaculating strongly.

A half-hour later, after some very pleasant small talk, Junie went home, and Jake left for a concert. I jerked off in privacy, trying to savor every detail in my mind of our afternoon, and having my second orgasm within an hour.

Late that night, I woke when Jake came in and settled in his bed.

He asked, “How are you doing?”

“I’m in heaven!”

“Good.” and with that he went to sleep.

As I’m sure you guessed, over the next few days, Junie and I became much closer. We discussed it, and decided to be officially “boyfriend and girlfriend.”

We had the opportunity to get more sexual, but we decided that both of us being virgins, maybe we should wait a little while. Besides, we had this new masturbating thing, and that could maintain our interest for a very long time all by itself. We were thinking that if we jumped right in and had intercourse, it might kind of weaken our excitement about everything else.

Back at my place, we even discussed it with Jake, and he applauded the decision. It fit right in with his whole theory.

We also played again. Dispensing with the cards, all three of us got naked right away, and we gave each other hand jobs. Because there were two boys and a girl, we decided to be bold, with another part of Jake’s theory falling into place. We decided it would be OK, if while Junie watched, I would give Jake a handjob. Once again, I got all weird, but decided to go through with it.

All at the same time, I was freaked out about touching him, and totally wanted to touch him.

None too artistically, I knelt by the rolling chair he was sitting in, and started stroking his penis.

It was the first time I had ever touched a penis other than my own, and I found it intriguing. It was harder than I remembered mine being, and the skin was looser. Both of us are uncircumcised, but his skin was tighter. Mine easly slides over the tip of my penis and all the way back. His was a bit stiff going over the last bit, and kind of popped back over the tip when I let it go. I found that fascinating. His penis is also a bit longer as well as fatter than mine. I liked that. He said he prefers a smaller penis, and then went on to call mine, “delightful.”

He told me I was doing it well. He’s like that, always complimenting people. In time, he shot his sperm over my hand and his stomach while Junie watched with big eyes.

It was her turn, and Jake said with a twinkle in his eye, that he was going to show me an advanced technique.

He had Junie lay down on the bed, and then hold her legs up, over her head, so her pussy and asshole were totally exposed. She was not only alright with that, she seemed to be enjoying the attention from two guys tremendously.

With his first two fingers, he spread her outer labia, revealing the inner labia inside. Holding her vagina open, he instructed me to grab those inner labia, one in each hand, and pull.

It was difficult getting a grip because she was wet and slippery. I was so intrigued that I started erecting again. She seemed to really like it when I pulled fairly hard, so I pulled harder. You’d think it might hurt, but no, she was loving it.

Then he had me let go, and acting like some sort of coach, he then told me to rub my fingertip very gently over her clit, which was now partially exposed through her inner labia.

She was saying things like, “That’s amazing JJ,” and “Yum, that’s great!”

Now he wanted me to place a finger inside her vagina. When I started to do that, he had me turn myself around on the bed, so it was easy for my hand to face upward, and press my finger inside her and forward. He taught me how to rub her G-spot.

I continued to do that for a while, and he then rubbed his first finger around in the juice that was forming around her vagina, coating it liberally, and then pressed it against her puckered anus. Pretty soon, he was inside hor a good inch, just past his first knuckle.

Noticing her anus, I was expecting it to smell foul. It was quite the opposite. I later learned that the glands in that area secrete something that smells sweet and attractive. I was loving that smell, and seeing her little asshole as well. A guy doesn’t get to see something like that very often. In fact, I had never seen anyone’s asshole in person. Bang! I ejaculated without even touching myself.

I know I made a bit of a mess on the sheets, but I just kept right on going, and soon, she was having a crashing orgasm.

Over the next months, the three of us played in various configurations. Usually it was all three of us, and we did everything imaginable. Sometimes it was just Jake and I. Sometimes we’d jerk each other off, but most of the time, it was him jerking on his bed while I wanked on mine. I had fairly quickly overcome my phobia of jerking off in front of him, of course. The most frequent combination of all was Junie and I.

Jake could have invited Junie to do things with him behind my back. Being the gentleman he is, Jake never invited. I doubt whether she would have accepted.

Junie and I had meant to keep our virginity for a while so there’d be another great frontier to cross when we were ready. It didn’t quite work out as we expected.

One day we had been hugging and kissing in my bed, prior to a good mutual masturbation session. My penis was trapped between our bodies. She reached down and started rubbing it a bit. I shifted slightly, perhaps consciously, maybe unconsciously so the tip was quite near her vagina. She took it a step further, and pressed the tip to her vagina.

At that point, we kind of froze. We both knew that what we were doing was quite on the edge. We both wanted it so badly.

I said, “Are you ready?”

She said, “Oh, so ready!”

I broke our embrace just long enough to reach under my bed and find the condom I had stored there just for this occasion. After tearing open the package like an expert, I had quite a bit of difficulty actually putting it on my penis. Then I figured out that I had it backward. Once I turned it over , it was a simple matter to unroll it.

We resumed our embrace, I scooted down in such a way that she could hold my penis at her opening, and together we maneuvered it in. I took my time, because I had heard that it can hurt virgins.

Pretty soon, I was all the way in, and it hadn’t hurt her a bit.

Unfortunately, I came way too soon, so she didn’t cum that time, but she enjoyed it very much anyway. A few minutes later I licked her to a very good orgasm, and then another and yet another.

Months passed. We continued to work on our technique. My premature ejaculation problem settled down and we managed to have simultaneous orgasms several times.

While all this was happening Jake was hanging out more and more often with Patty, the red-headed Irish guitarist. She was quite likable. On several occasions, the four of us could be found in our dorm room, all naked, joking around and having a good time. Sometimes, but not always, we’d all play together. When there were three or more of us, Jake wanted to keep it masturbatory. That was important to him, to fit into his whole sexual theory paradigm. We were perfectly good with that, because it was so much fun. Oddly, we sometimes had more fun doing non-fuckory things than out and out intercourse.

One day when all four of us were playing, I got talked into giving Jake a prostate massage. Maybe ‘talked into’ isn’t quite the way to put it, because I was all for it.

While he was on the bed on all fours with his ass open and up in the air, I lubed up my finger, and his asshole, and slowly pushed in. Once my finger was all the way in, I pressed forward, and with his direction found his prostate and pushed and pressed it various ways, while he was “Ohhing and Ahhing” in absolute delight.

Patty reached under Jake, and gave him a nice hand job, resulting in him having a spectacular orgasm.

I wanted to experience that, and so Junie stuck her finger in my butt. It was the most amazing feeling! I had no idea! Jake reached under me, and pulled on my dick a few times while Junie was massaging my prostate, and I, too, had a spectacular orgasm.

When she pulled her finger out, she did it very slowly, and I could have sworn that finger of hers was a foot long.

Of course Junie and Patty wanted it too, and so we did the same for them. Junie had already experienced it a little bit, but in this form, on her hands and knees, it was like something entirely new. While I fingered her butt, Patty stuck two fingers in Junie’s vagina and brought her to a quick and fantastic orgasm.

In nursing school Junie had started working on live patients. She had to practice some of her techniques, and occasionally I was her guinea pig. Sometimes even Patty and Jake volunteered to get stuck with saline injections, and have blood samples taken.

One day she came over all excited about something that happened in class. They had another ‘standardized patient.’ These are people who are paid to pretend they are real patients. The student nurses practice taking blood pressure, looking in throats, changing bandages, and so on.

On this particular occasion, they put a urinary catheter in the ‘patient.’ Six nurses, each did the guy in turn. They got the impression he was an experienced standardized patient, because he was quiet and calm when the teacher demonstrated the technique. As she was coating some sort of antiseptic on his genitals, he started to become erect. When she slid the catheter in, he was totally erect. The teacher casually told that class that about thirty percent of male patients become erect during anything from bed baths to scrotal ultrasounds, and that the nurses should just quietly accept the ‘condition’ and let the patients know is is perfectly OK.

By the time the sixth nurse slid a tube into the guy’s dick, he had lost his erection, and was saying it was stinging a bit. But being a trooper, he stayed calm and quiet until the last student was done, although, according to Junie, he was wincing a bit at the end.

The thing is, when she told us about this catheter business, we all became incredibly horny. We wanted to try it. We talked it over, and decided that if we didn’t have it done six times in a row, it might be fine to play with. Junie warned us that we had to be very sterile so as to avoid infections.

A few days later, she came over with a dozen catheters that she somehow managed to get from the nursing program. I was afraid to ask exactly how she got them.

Patty was the first to volunteer. Junie put on the antiseptic fluid, then held open Patty’s labia, and slowly introduced the tube. It was terribly exciting seeing it going into her peehole. We asked if it hurt, and she said it was a tiny sting only, and she was very much enjoying it. Once it was in a couple of inches, she started flinching a bit. Junie asked if it was hurting.

Patty said, “Not at all, It feels like I’m gonna pee.”

“Ah, it’s just now passing the first of your two urinary sphincters,” Junie explained, “That’s the way it’s supposed to feel. You won’t pee, it just feels that way.”

“It really feels quite nice.”

Once the tube was in, Junie explained how it could be hooked to a urine bag, and how there’s a balloon built into the end of the tube that can be filled with saline solution introduced with a syringe at the outside end of the catheter. That’s what keeps the catheter from slipping out. She then removed Patty’s catheter, at which point Jake rubbed Patty to a nice orgasm.

Meanwhile, Junie wanted to catheterize Jake. He was all for it. She put on the antiseptic, and started pushing the tube in. I couldn’t believe how far it had to go. She explained that there’s as much penis length buried inside a guy as what shows from the outside. Of course Jake was hard during the procedure, and enjoying it very much.

“Umm!’ he said as it slid through his sphincters. “That’s really something. It feels like you’re gonna pee, and it’s out of your control. Very nice!

After she got the tube all the way in him, Patty wondered what happens if a guy ejaculates with the tube inside. Junie said according to her understanding of male anatomy, it should work out just fine. Jake thought it was risky and was pretty sure he didn’t want to try it.

I volunteered, but first I catheterized Junie. With all the tubes she had been sticking into people, she, herself, hadn’t been catheterized yet, and I got the honors. I found it very exciting. My penis was waving around in front of everyone fully erect.

Now, it was my turn. Jake asked if he could ‘do’ me. That was fine with everyone including myself.

He put on gloves, then applied the antiseptic all over my crotch just like Junie had shown us. It was cold, but nice. Then he opened the lube applicator, a syringe without a needle, pushed the tip into my peehole, and squirted it in. That, in itself was unusual and delightful. I could feel my urethra bulge with the gel-like stuff going inside.

Next he took the catheter out of the pack, and pushed the tip into my penis. It went in about a half-inch easily, then stalled out. Junie explained that men have a slight constriction there. He gently pressed, and it popped on through. My, it felt good! I had the notion that I was being fucked. It was the first time the inside of my penis had ever been stimulated. It did sting just a little, but that didn’t particularly detract.

The tube went in, and in. Finally, it hit that first sphincter, and it really was a nifty feeling. The second sphincter, a half-inch later, felt just as good. Then the tube slid in a couple more inches easily.

I wanted to know about that retention business, so Junie grabbed a syringe, and squirted it into the far end of the catheter. I didn’t feel anything, but then she tugged slightly to make sure the balloon was going to keep the catheter from slipping out. That was such a fantastic gotta-pee feeling that I can’t even describe it. I asked her to tug several more times, just so I could feel it over and over again.

Jake had been chicken to try orgasming with the tube in, but I trusted that it would be OK. I asked Junie to jerk me off with the catheter in place. It only took her about ten strokes, until I ejaculated. On the first couple of pulses, nothing came out, I felt a sort of back pressure, like things were jammed up, and I got a little scared. But then it started oozing out around the tube. I could feel the inside of my penis contracting around the tube, and it was terribly exciting! The contractions lasted about twice as long as usual. All-in-all, it was one of the best orgasms of my life.

She deflated the balloon, and pulled the catheter out. That hurt, a rather strong stinging sensation.

That evening, and the next day, every time I peed, it really stung. I asked Jake if the same thing was happening to him, and he told me it stung, but only a little bit.

A couple of days later, I started feeling an itching sensation inside my dick. I had contracted an infection. Junie was quite worried, but it cleared up in about a week. It could have been much worse. Ever since, I’ve been afraid of urethral play.

So far as we could tell, no one in the college knew about what the four of us were doing. Oh, they had seen Jake stroll to the bathroom naked, and even saw me in the hallway naked a couple of times when I was feeling particularly bold. But I think they had no idea about what was happening in our room. Just as we had no idea whether anything like this was happening elsewhere on the campus.

That all changed the day that the door burst open. The four of us were playing in our dorm room, and we had forgotten to lock the door. Ronald Bricker had come to borrow Jake’s deck of cards, and as was the custom in the dorms during the day time, he just walked in, assuming it was OK.

Ronald is probably the biggest guy I know. He is on the football team. He’s not going to end up in the NFL, but in our small university, he’s the local star. He weighs a good bit, but it’s all muscle, as is evidenced by his thick neck. He’s the kind of guy who you’d assume is straight all the way.

It just so happened at that moment, that we were in various forms of intercourse, something we seldom did, since we enjoyed the masturbatory things so much. But I happened to be buttfucking Jake, while he was laying on top of Patty and fucking her. Junie was off to one side, just frigging herself. And all of that is what Ronald saw.

I think we were all horrified. That’s not the guy you want to discover you in such extremely personal circumstances.

Looking sheepish, he said, “Excuse me,” and started to back out.

Junie said, probably without thinking it through, “Oh, It’s OK Ron, come join us, if you’d like.”

We were kind of in a frozen tableau while Ronald just stood there, looking confused, or indecisive. I could almost feel his internal battle. Finally, he said, “Thank you,” came into the room, and closed the door.

It didn’t take him long to take his clothes off. It was probably easy for him, showering with the jocks every day, plus he probably had plenty of girlfriends to play with.

He was huge and surprisingly hairy, yet his penis, practically buried in a forest of dark curly hair, didn’t look like much at all.

Standing against the wall and watching us, as we started getting back into the rhythm of what we had been doing, he started touching himself, and pretty soon, he was erect and stroking away.

I had been wondering how he might fit in. Like would he like to fuck someone? Would he maybe like to be buttfucked? But no, all he did was watch us, jerk off, then cum, leaving some drips on the floor. Fortunately, that part of the floor wasn’t carpeted. Graciously, he grabbed some Kleenex, and mapped it up himself.

A moment later, he said “Thank you” again, and left.

After we were all done playing, we talked about our visitor.

“Like, what the fuck was that?”

“Is Ronald going to cause trouble for us?”

“He’ll probably blab it to everyone on the football team.”

For the next two days we were rather worried. Who was he going to tell? How would they react? We also figured he might not tell anyone, since he was involved, at least to the degree of being nude and masturbating in front of us.

Ronald texted Jake. He wanted to do it again. We were still a bit worried, but also delighted.

When Jake said “OK,” Ronald texted again. “Can I bring someone?”

Junie and I were in the room when that text came in, and we talked about it a bit. Who was he going to bring? We were wondering if it would be a guy or a girl. We were pretty sure, however, it would be a girl. Should we ask him?”

Jake said, “Why spoil the surprise?”

Talking it over some more, we decided that anyone he might want to bring must be cool with it, or he wouldn’t invite them. We also decided that it would be a fun surprise to find out who he would bring.

We arranged a session the next day at three o’clock. As the clock hit three, we were all quite excited. Part of it was that we were getting new blood. Whoever it was, guy or gal, would probably be a lot of fun.

At about two minutes after three, there was a knock at the door. I opened it, and standing there was a crowd! There was Ronald, plus two other really big guys, evidently more men from the football team. Also with them were two girls, who looked like they might be cheerleaders.

Dumbfounded for a few seconds, I said in a cheery voice, “Welcome!” because I was indeed delighted. We were going to have an orgy!

The room was crowded, with both chairs occupied and an assortment of people on each bed. All became naked within minutes, taking Jake’s lead. The entire floor in the little room was littered with clothing. Pretty soon, everyone was doing everyone. Interestingly, one of the football guys was buttfucking Ronald, and both seemed to be experienced in what they were doing. The girls that came with them didn’t mind. At various times the two new women were in lick fests with Patty and Junie, sucking their men’s dicks, frigging each other, or even giving me a great handjob.

At the end of the session, there were a lot of thank you’s from all the delighted new people.

When the new people left, Jake, Junie, Patty and I talked about what had happened. On the one hand we were delighted. On the the other, we were nervous. Word was going to get around, that was for sure.

We had another concern. The two guys buttfucking. They hadn’t used a condom. That was not good news. Evidently, the two of them had been doing it for a while, and whether they could catch something was ultimately their own concern, but we decided then and there that if people were going to come to this dorm room, there’d be no more penetrative sex.

And that’s what happened. Our little room became known as the ‘masturbatorium’ throughout the college. Over the course of the year, we probably hosted more than a hundred sex-crazed individuals, but never more than eight at a time. Everyone was well-mannered. Everyone respected our no-penetration rule. I think that’s because everyone had such a good time, that they didn’t feel a need to fuck. Jake started taking on the role of a kind of coach, or instructor. He seemed to get more of a kick out of guiding people in ways to have great orgasms than having them himself.

At the start of my second year, Junie had graduated and moved into an apartment shared with two other nurses. Jake had moved into an apartment with Patty, He had switched his major from music to psychology. He announced he was going to become a sex therapist.

He has continued developing his theories about sex and society. I feel he has a best-selling book in his future.

I didn’t move into an apartment. I had other plans.

I had the same room in the dorm, and a new roommate. His name was Jared. He was a rather shy fellow. When he first arrived, he was shocked to see me standing in the room, bare-ass naked.

The Masturbatorium

The Sex Venue

Edited by Jeremy J. Watson

This was told to me by Paul, an older friend. With his permission, I recorded it on my iPhone, then typed it up, so you can read it. I’ve changed specific names and locations, and cleaned up the English a bit. It’s entirely true, by the way. I know, because I’ve been to his ‘club.’ My friend is delighted that I was willing to make his story public.

My beloved wife died way too young five years ago. I didn’t want to remarry. That’s just too much trouble in my experience. I’ve never really enjoyed being a monogamous guy, so it was difficult during our marriage. I’m also not so much of a sexual guy as you might think. Oh, I do love my orgasms, but not so much in the standard, fucking, sort of way.

At my age, you start caring less about what people think of you, and start realizing that if you don’t take certain actions, you’ll miss out. If you want to go to Europe, go to Europe! If you want to try square dancing, do it! Does it matter what your children say as long as you’re not adversely affecting them? Does it matter what members of your church think, if you’re hurting no one? What does matter is that you act with integrity, nothing else.

It took me a year to recover from Alice’s sudden death. Then, at the insistence of my daughter, I tried dating a few women. The ones younger than me were, in my opinion, just silly. The ones my age were too set in their ways.

One drank too much, another told tall tales, yet another seemed to be a hypochondriac.

To make a long story short, after making my best effort to get close to five different women, I was done trying.

One day I was looking at Casual Encounter ads on Craigslist, I was looking in the W4M category – women looking for men. I knew that was going to be fruitless, but just in case, the idea, or what you might call the fantasy of it, was intriguing.

The idea that I might get to have sex with a woman, but with no strings attached, seemed good to me. It was not different than my teen years, thirty years ago. Back then, too, I would have been happy to find a woman who didn’t expect a whole relationship just in order to get sexual. I know that’s counter to traditional thinking, but that’s what I wanted back then. Truth be told, that’s what I was wanting now, too.

I found a few women that seemed promising. One by one, they all flaked out after a flurry of emails when it became real. When we decided to actually meet up, suddenly they’d quit writing, or have a change of heart.

Just about giving up, one last woman popped up who really did seem like she might be right. She was my age. She was not particularly heavyset, and judging by her email she was intelligent and had a sense of humor.

In our email conversations, it came out that she was feeling just like me. Recently widowed, she didn’t want anything complex. She just wanted sex, and was happy to say so.

Too good to be true, right? Well, I invited her to dinner, expecting she’d be another drunk, too histrionic, a poverty case, or something undesirable. I was almost holding my breath when I met her in the restaurant. She was quite nice looking. Better than her picture. In the ad, she had posted a cheesy selfie wearing bra, panties, and a garter belt with the straps hanging loose. It made her look wide around the middle, which I would have been OK with. It turns out she wasn’t fat at all. Her hair was gray, but then, so was mine. She had sparkly blue eyes which did something to me. I immediately found her attractive.

We ate, and we talked. Despite my intentions not to bring up my ex-wife, I found myself going on and on about her. Liza kept bringing up her ex-husband, Lenny, so our score was about equal. I enjoyed hearing about the man. He seemed like quite a nice and successful guy. So, she wasn’t going to be trying to get money off of me.

I’m sensitive to that, because having made a small fortune through consumer software early in my life, I had to learn the hard way that most of my ‘friends’ are only trying to sell me something.

After dinner, I was having trouble bringing up an invitation to come to my place and get sexual. I mean, on a first date, especially if you’ve been out of practice, how do you say, “So, wanna fuck?”

While I was trying to think of an elegant way to bring that up, she asked me whether I found myself masturbating more since Alice died.

I’m sure my face turned red! That was just so direct. Oh, and the worst part is she asked that right in the restaurant with diners nearby.

Trying my best not to be flustered, I quietly said, “Let’s go on a walk.”

Liza was agreeable, and once out of earshot, I said, “Yes, I have been masturbating more after she died.”

Then I volunteered more information than perhaps I should have, “Like a teenager, I’ve been doing it once or twice a day.” Now, why did I add that?

Liza came back with, “Yes, that’s what’s been happening with me, also.”

I was relieved that we were on the same page.

She went on, “It’s not the same, though, is it?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, to have someone not only in a sexual way, but someone you can share with, someone you can talk with, much like we’re doing right now, but someone you know really well and trust, well, that’s much better, don’t you think?”

“That almost sounds like marriage!”

She laughed. “And that’s what we’re trying to avoid, isn’t it?”

I laughed. “I guess so.”

Now, I was back to trying to figure out how to invite her to my place for some honest-to-goodness sex. I was starting to get horny, which I took as a good sign. It turns out I didn’t have to invite her.

“We were talking about masturbation…”

“Yeah?”

“Well, I’m more of a fan of masturbation than intercourse.”

Oh, my ship sunk, or so I thought.

“I mean, I like mutual masturbation.”

“I’m not sure I understand.”

“Why don’t you come over to my place, and I’ll show you?” she asked.

“It’s refreshing to meet a woman who is clear on what she wants,” and I meant that will all my heart.

Twenty minutes later, we were at her apartment. It was a bit larger than typical, and housed a cream colored Berber carpet and a baby grand piano.

“Do you play?”

“When I was a kid, I wanted to be a concert pianist. Then something came over me, and I switched to roadhouse boogie.”

As she said that, she sat down at her piano and played some lovely, something. I don’t know what it was, but it was very lively and I liked it.

After a few minutes, she stopped, and said, “I supported myself with music, as a piano teacher, until Lenny came along.”

Still sitting at the bench, with her back turned to me, she took off her sweater. Then she started unbuttoning her blouse, and took that off. I saw her reach around her back, unfasten her bra, and that too, came off.

Liza then slowly turned around, and said, “You like?”

I felt a stirring in my pants, so I could truly say “Yes, very much.”

Her skin was slightly freckled down to the top of her boobs. From there, they became milky white, with large, dark nipples. They were maybe not quite as full as they had one been, and perhaps they hung a bit lower, but they were just fine in my eyes. I felt a desire to reach out and touch them.

Instead, I whipped off my shirt, showing her my white hair-covered chest, and said “You like?”

She laughed. Then she got up and started down a hallway, beckoning me to follow. We entered her bedroom, which had a king size bed.

Without thinking, I said, “You’ve been sleeping in that all alone since Lenny?”

“Yes.”

“What a shame.”

“I know. Paul, have we been missing out? I think we should have done this months ago. You know, get together through Craigslist.”

“Let’s not think about what might have been.”

“Agreed. Instead, lets see what happens next!”

We sat side by side on the edge of her bed. Kissing seemed like the right thing to do. Soon we were hugging close and French kissing. She seemed different to me. For a second I compared her to Alice, then put that out of my mind. I found kissing Liza felt rather natural, and nice.

I don’t recall the details, but soon all our clothes were strewn on her floor, and we were reclined on the bed, hugging close. My erection was solid, something I hadn’t had outside of masturbating for way too long. I liked that she shaved her crotch area. Actually, it didn’t seem shaved. I think she used laser or dipilated or something, because it was smooth and young looking.

In fact, her whole body was smooth and young looking. Something younger people don’t realize is that while an older person’s face and hands show age, the parts that are not usually exposed to the sun stay nice and young. Her ass was well toned, which I particularly like.

I guess my ass is nice too, probably because I like bike riding, tennis, and pickleball. I’m fairly athletic, and it shows. I keep my white hair and beard closely trimmed, so I’m not too bad looking. Liza seemed impressed, anyway.

She turned slightly, taking my hard penis gently in one hand. “Hmm, nice! I haven’t held one of these in quite a while,” she said.

“Hold it as long as you want.”

“Oh, thank you. I will!”

She instinctively started moving her hand up and down. “It’s circumcised. I like that.”

“It probably made me angry as a baby, but I’m over it.”

She laughed.

“Woah, there,” I practically yelled. I was getting close to orgasming already.

She understood and let go. She then started in on my balls. In all my life, no one had done what she was doing. Liza was very lightly massaging my testicles within my scrotum. It felt wonderful. Not orgasmic, for which I was thankful, but nice in its own right. She started massaging more and more firmly, pressing on both testicles, one in each hand, between her thumbs and first two fingers. She was wiggling them back and forth slightly. My penis was straining at its hinges, getting ready to erupt again.

I had to ask her to stop for a minute, then I wanted her to resume just as much.

She did, with ever increasing pressure.

“Let me know when it becomes too much.”

Oh, a challenge, now that’s my language.

She kept squeezing harder. It was becoming difficult to take, yet still pleasurable. Finally, it was starting to hurt, so I told her to let off a little.

That’s exactly what she did. She let off just a little, expertly continuing to massage my balls at the point just below which they’d hurt. I was getting ready to ejaculate again, and so asked her to stop.

She teased me by going on for about five more seconds. That was close to being a mistake, but it worked out.

I decided that while I was calming down, it was time to attend to Liza. Knowing that Alice loved massages, I started in on a backrub for Liza. Having her lay on her belly, I worked on her shoulders, her neck, the back of her head, and the top of her head. She seemed to enjoy it.

She found some massage oil in her nightstand drawer, and I continued the massage, using that, and realizing she probably used that oil to masturbate. I massaged her shoulders, upper arms, lower arms, and then her hands. She very much liked the hand massage, and let me know.

Turning around on the bed, I then did her feet, ankles, calves, and the back of her thighs. I was wondering whether it would be appropriate to touch her ass. Then I realized, this is the woman who brought me to the point just short of orgasm three times already. She held my totally erect cock in her hands. And my balls too. Of course I should touch her ass.

I massaged her ass, kneading the glutes good and firmly. In the process, her buttocks opened up momentarily a few times, and I saw her asshole. I have a weakness for assholes and hers was one of the best I had ever seen. It was dark, much darker than the rest of her skin, small, and puckered with radial lines running out about an inch in all directions.

Thinking she might like it, and not being able to resist, I repositioned her feet in such a way that her anus was better exposed. Using a liberal amount of oil, I just touched my finger to the very top of her butt crack, and slowly, and very lightly moved down toward her anus. Finally reaching that, I continued on past, to the point between anus and vagina. I repeated that stroke slowly and lightly several times.

Her response? “Mmm, nice!”

Feeling it was the right thing to do, I was now pressing ever so slightly into the hole on each stroke. In a moment, I stopped stroking, and just placed my forefinger against her asshole itself, leaving it there, unmoving for a moment. She shivered in delight. Ever so slowly, I started pressing inward, with a slight twisting motion. Soon, I was in to the first knuckle.

“Alright?” I asked.

“Very alright!”

She repositioned herself so her ass was even more available to me, and wiggled against my finger, indicating she wanted more. I eventually got it all the way in. Noticing that she was so fine with that, I slowly withdrew that finger, then went back in with two fingers. Once they were all the way in, I curled them forward, pressing against her A-spot.

“Woah, Paul! That’s just too good, but I don’t want to orgasm yet.”

I was thinking it was time to fuck, but there was a problem. I hadn’t brought any protection. Knowing how straight-forward Liza seemed to be, I figured it would be OK to ask her.

“Do you have any protection?”

“Paul, you told me earlier that you were married for 22 years, right?”

“Right.”

“Did you have any extramarital affairs?”

“No, never.”

“Neither did I. And, I’m too old to get pregnant.”

“Right.”

We jumbled around on the bed a bit until I was laying on top of her. I was all set to enter, except for one thing. My penis had gone soft. Now, you’d think it would be as hard as a rock when getting ready to fuck a desirable woman, but I’ve always been like that. The first time, I get performance anxiety.

She said, “Come here.”

She turned around on the bed, and put my penis in her mouth. It turned out that she’s an expert with blowjobs, and got me hard in about sixty seconds.

Turning around again, with me back on top, I entered her easily. Well, sort of. I had to put some massage oil on, because she wasn’t particularly flowing with juice. She admitted that she wasn’t like these Asian chicks that have so much pussy juice that they wet the bedsheets.

So, I popped into her, and we started doing the thing, As I was getting close, I noticed she had a way to go yet, so I suggested we break, and shift positions.

We went with her on top for a while, but she was still a ways off. It was time for my secret weapon. I learned it with Alice and it almost always worked.

I had Liza get on the bed on all fours. On her hands and knees. She was like “What?”

“Trust me.”

I got behind her and entered her from behind, keeping the bottle of oil within reach. Once we got going, I put some oil on my finger, and pressed it into her ass again. That did the trick! We managed a nearly simultaneous orgasm.

We collapsed in an exhausted heap on her bed and fell asleep. Around midnight I woke and started getting ready to head home. Sleepily, she said she’d prefer that I stay. I was honored.

We saw each other again two days later. I had been thinking about her comments about mutual masturbation being better, or almost better – I forgot her exact words – than intercourse, and was building up a healthy curiosity about that.

We went out to dinner again, and this time we went to my house. She was impressed. I guess most people don’t get to see eighteen-room houses with a built-in swimming pool.

We started talking earnestly about sex. I really liked that. It felt like an especially nice freedom. This ease of talking about sex may have been because as one ages, one can become more honest about many things. Or, maybe it was just the way Liza is, that she is comfortable talking about sex. Alice never really was.

I brought up the business of masturbation being better than fucking. She wanted to demonstrate. I was all for that.

We played a game of strip blackjack in my bedroom, just for fun. I lost. The rule was that when one loses all clothing, on the next round, the still-clothed person gets to do whatever he or she wants to the naked one. I was doubtful, but realized Liza would never hurt me or do something against my wishes.

I lost again. She told me to lay on the bed, face up.

I complied. My penis was soft. She went into the bathroom, and came out with a single sheet of toilet paper. I wondered what she was planning. It didn’t take long to find out.

Holding that sheet by a corner, she dangled the other corner over my dick. At first, she waved it back and forth a half-inch above my dick. Watching her action, the anticipation was killing me. She ever so slowly lowered the toilet paper until the bottom corner was just touching the hairs on my scrotum.

What an interesting feeling! It kind of tickled, but was much nicer. My scrotum involuntarily shrank up a bit, then relaxed. After a few seconds, she did it again. My penis was hardening nicely. She stroked that sheet over my scrotum several more times, before running it up along the base of my penis. My dick jumped a half-inch. She did it again, and my penis jumped again.

In time, she worked up to stroking that sheet over the frenulum area of my penis, that part that’s a little fold of skin just below the glans. Oh my god, that was amazing. My penis jumped every time. In itself, this treatment wasn’t orgasmic, but it was certainly pleasant.

After carrying on like that for a while, she put down the sheet of toilet paper, and put a drip of massage oil on her fingertip. She then swirled it ever so lightly around my peehole. My gosh, this woman was an expert!

Finally, she started stroking me up and down, instructing me to let her know when I was getting close to ejaculating. I kind of knew she was going to do some edging, and I was all for it.

She did bring me to the brink of orgasm several times, and finally I went over the edge, with an ejaculation so strong some of it hit my chin. I was surprised. I hadn’t ejaculated that hard since I was in my twenties.

Now it was her turn. I felt inadequate in the technique department, but thought I might as well go ahead and experiment.

I had her lay face up on the bed, and instead of going right to her vagina, I started on those delicious nipples of hers, stroking a single massage oil covered finger from each hand around her dark areolae. After a while, I lightly drew my fingers directly over her very hardened nipples, one forefinger on each nipple.

After that, I lightly massaged her breasts. She didn’t get as much out of that, so then I moved on to the main attraction.

Starting with the very lightest touch I could imagine, I stroked her inner labia, eventually getting more involved in actually handling them. Covered in massage oil as I was, it was difficult to pull her labia out, but I was able to pull and separate them a little with my fingers slipping off from time to time.

Liza’s very anatomy made that easier. She’s one of those girls with large inner labia that stick partially out. You probably know that some women show nothing but a slit when they stand in front of you. Their inner labia are small, and inside. Others have larger ones that hang out. She was of the latter group. They were also tantalizingly darkly pigmented, which I found particularly attractive.

Liza probably thought my next move would be to stroke her clit, but I had a better idea. I started by placing a single finger inside her vagina, then two. My palm was upturned, so when I curled the fingers forward, they touched her G-spot. I just kept rubbing for a while, and she started struggling to maintain her composure. She was shivering all over, and arching her back. Suddenly, she shouted, much louder than I would have expected, “Oh, fuck!” delivering a crashing orgasm that lasted a full minute.

After letting her calm down, I asked if she wanted more. I knew that some women can have multiple orgasms, and some, no so much.

On this ocasion, at least, she was done.

Life went on, and Liza and I became close. Very close. Initially, we had agreed that we were to be friends with benefits only. We seemed to have passed that stage early on.

On subsequent occasions, we fooled around with other techniques. That’s one of the things I really liked about her. She liked experiments, unlike Alice, who I must admit, had been a stick in the mud, by comparison. At the time, I thought sex with Alice had been good. Oh, what I had been missing out on!

Liza would do things to me like lift and hold my penis by the frenulum. She’d pinch it between her thumb and forefinger, and just pull up for a while. I had no idea that would feel like anything. In fact, it is so good one can ejaculate, just from being held like that for a while.

As if that wasn’t good enough, she had another trick in which she’d just pull what was left of my foreskin down as far as it would go and hold it like that. It kind of hurt a bit, but felt so good overall that I’d sometimes cum from that.

She wanted me to do things like stick things in her urethra. I had no idea women would like that. Well, she didn’t care for a Q-tip when we tried that. She said it stung the next day when she peed. But ballpoint pens, she loved! One time, we took the guts out of a Bic pen, and I carefully pressed that a couple of inches into her. Suddenly, urine gushed out. She said the feeling of having to pee when I pressed it in was remarkable.

Some experiments didn’t work as well as others. For instance, one time we decided it would be fun if I could cum into her urethra. She held her vagina open, I stroked myself, pushed my dick hard against her peehole while I ejaculated. All it did was spill out around the opening. It was still a fun experiment.

We even tried some more intense things. She wanted to be vaginally and anally fisted. We didn’t manage either. Or I should say, we haven’t managed it yet. She likes trying, and one of these days, I might actually make it all the way in. She tried fisting me, too, but only got as far as four fingers. Interestingly, once you get past two, your anus no langer says ‘ouch’ and craves more and more cramming. Who knew?

One of my favorites is something she read about called “glans blame” in Japan, otherwise known as “apple polishing,” or “rosy palm” in the United States. The idea is a man is tied down so he can’t get away, and his partner starts rubbing the tip of his erect dick with the palm of a hand. This is super-intense, causing the man to squirm all over the place with a most unbearable tickle-like sensation. He has to be held down, or be very self-disciplined, or he’ll wiggle out from under it.

Strangely, it is more intense with oil than without.

In time, the feeling transmutes to something like a ‘gotta-pee’ combined with ‘gonna-cum’ feeling, but neither happens. The man is just in a delicious, ongoing pre-ejaculatory state for minutes or longer.

She did it to me, and the first time, I backed out right away. A week later, she did it again, and although it was very difficult, I stuck it out until it transmuted. After that, I just loved it.

On that occasion, we followed it with what we called the ‘tantric’ experience. What we did is pretty far removed from the Indian concept of tantra. In our version, you simply don’t cum. You enjoy a session that doesn’t end in ejaculation, or in the case of women, it’s without orgasm. You leave, charged up and happy. Well, sometimes it is sort of frustrating not to cum, but you do stay charged up. That part is rather amazing. It seems you have more energy the rest of the day, things smell better, colors are brighter, and you even seem more intelligent. Go figure! She and I have played with the tantric idea a lot.

One day, Liza and I were talking about our experiences, and thought it was too bad the whole world didn’t know what we knew. The discussion evolved over days and somehow the idea came to us that we should open a ‘masturbatorium.’

We certainly didn’t need the money, but opening a commercial venue seemed to be right for this idea. We started talking about it as if it was something we were really going to do.

As if! I mean, who could really be that bold? It would be hugely controversial, right?

One afternoon, we were talking about it with my son. He’s gotten used to frank sexual talk from me and Liza, and seems approving. He really likes Liza, and I’m glad. Currently living almost a hundred miles away, and also working in the software field, he doesn’t visit often, but when he does, he brightens in Liza’s company.

We told him about our thoughts on the masturbatorium, and he cheered us on, telling us that he’d gladly be a customer of such a place.

Over another month or two, Liza and I kept coming back to the idea. We started working out details. Like, it would be for masturbatory activities only. Since it was the general public we were talking about, we couldn’t allow any penetration of anything other than fingers into other people’s bodies. Mutual masturbation would be OK. In fact, that would be the focus. We’d offer courses on anything from massage to glans blame. We’d provide a cozy atmosphere, with sofas, beds, chairs, thick carpeting, video displays showing porn, showers, a hot tub, lockers, maybe even a ping pong table.

It would be a club that all adults would be encouraged to join.

We decided we needed to do some research. Since my house is big, this became where we started our experimentation. First, we invited Liza’s brother who expressed an interest in our mastubatorium idea. He was reluctant when we invited him, but decided it would be ‘fun.’

That night, in my main living room, Liza, I, and her brother gathered under subdued lighting, with quiet music in the background, composed and recorded by Liza. Liza and I took our clothes off right away, so he’d be comfortable doing the same. It took him a good half-hour to get used to his nudity in front of us, especially his own sister, but he did. No one touched anyone else that night. We each did ourselves, and all three of us had very nice orgasms.

Next, we wanted more people. I invited my daughter, her husband, my son, and his wife. I have to tell you, when we first explained the masturbatorium to them, they thought we were nuts. It took the four of them a week to settle down, and while they were reluctant, they did want to support our research. I didn’t think it would actually happen, but we did get all of them in my living room, and jerking off together. Ultimately, the two young couples masturbated their own spouses. And that’s probably the way it should be. There may have been issues if they had started in on the other one’s spouse.

It is a strange as a father to see your own children being masturbated. In general, I was proud of them for being the open-minded, and sensible children I raised. I was also happy to see them so sexually confident and satisfied.

The evening ended well, with them thanking us for ‘sparking up their sex lives’ and complimenting our masturbatorium idea.

Next, we placed an ad on Craigslist. The day of the event, we had eleven other people in my house, nine men, and only two women. That’s when we realized we’d have to skew our advertising and publicity toward women.

On Friday the 13th, we opened our masturbatorium. Liza’s daughter, unemployed with an unfortunately useless masters degree in English literature, became the club’s manager. When we proposed that to her, she laughed, saying manager or not, she’d be the club’s happiest member. Her younger brother became primary usher and head of maintenance.

Despite a moderate amount of newspaper advertising, we had few clients the first month. Fortunately Liza and I didn’t need the money. We had plenty to pay our fourteen employees even if no one came in. On the really slow days, we told the employees they could take off their clothes and partake of the facilities.

One slow evening we witnessed Liza’s son and daughter giving each other orgasms. We talked about it, and decided that it was a good thing.

Our biggest concern was government or public disapproval. After all, this was a highly controversial idea. In the minds of some, it might seem similar to a whore house.

To combat that, we made it very sex-positive, stating that masturbation is good for health, that we were promoting healthy social interaction, nothing of an unsavory nature was allowed, and that we were all about personal growth, pointing out our positive body image awareness classes, massage classes, and so on.

There was no need to worry. Whereas we did get some negative reviews, they only raised public curiosity. Surprisingly, we got lots of good press. One night, the mayor and her husband attended. The next day’s headline was “Mayor Attends Masturbatorium.” That was a turning point.

Now, on any given night, we’ll have up to sixty customers. We keep the rooms warm so people are comfortable unclothed. Whereas people can wear anything they want, at least ninety percent of our customers wear nothing. You might see a mixed-sex naked foursome at the ping pong table. One of the guys will be playing while his erection waves around, unnoticed, in front of him. You’ll see a half-dozen people in the open showers, and another half-dozen in the hot tub.

The hot tub is a special case. We use intense ultra-violet and electronic sterilization of the water, and filter a large quantity every minute. That thing cost us a small fortune, but we feel it was worth the expense.

You’ll see a woman stretched out on a sofa holding a vibrator to her clit while conversing with another woman sitting in a chair rubbing herself. You’ll see a husband and wife frigging each other. You’ll see independent guys just watching the action, and walking around with hardons, idly stroking themselves. You’ll see a guy giving an exquisite handjob to his buddy. You’ll see a guy in front of the videos, having a crashing ejaculation. And so on!

We’re going to start opening branches. We have to, because our masturbatorium is filled to capacity every weekend evening, and many weekday evenings as well.

We are getting kind of evangelistic about masturbation as a way to solve many of society’s problems from real ills like high blood pressure to social pressure. If people would masturbate more, there’d be fewer unwanted pregnancies, fewer cases of disease, and I think most people would be better psychologically adjusted. I think we should eventually open a branch location in every community in the country, if not the world.

We’ll need branch managers. Managers will get the usual fringe benefits, plus on slow days they can mingle with the guests and partake of the facilities. What about you? Are you looking for a new line of work?

Erotic Photo Shoots

by Jenelle Watson


Becky Wilmington has been my best friend since grammar school. How well do I know her? Well, let’s just say I know what her pussy tastes like.

She’s on the tall side, thin, and keeps her slightly wavy blond hair long. She has large boobs, and a very fetching smile, so guys are really attracted to her. Just being her friend has had certain advantages. Guys that she didn’t have time for became interested in me.

I’m just the opposite of Becky, being short, of Thai background, and small-titted. The only thing I have going for me is my long, straight, black hair that reaches to just above my butt.

Growing up together, we realized early on that we were both certifiably sex-crazy. We talked about kissing, sex, boys, and everything that goes with it, all the time.

Becky thought she’d become a photojournalist. She had a love of photography since she was in grade school, when her father bought her an antique Kodak camera. Soon, she had her own darkroom, and was taking pictures for her friends. Sometimes she’d get paid enough to buy more film and chemicals, although usually that came from her allowance.

Her love of photography was infectious, and before long, my $15 per week allowance was going entirely to film and supplies also. My parents, not being rich, gave me a crappy little 35mm rangefinder camera for my sixteenth birthday. I learned how to put it through it’s paces, and came out with some reasonably good photos.

We often modeled for each other, and I must say, she made me look better than life.

By the end of high school, Becky hadn’t lost her interest in taking pictures. She went to college, studying English and photography. Meanwhile, I got a masters in psychology, another pursuit in which finding a job is difficult. We stayed in touch throughout college, mostly by phone.

You’d think we would have lost our virginity in college, but the truth is we were both ‘nice’ girls. Oh, we talked all nasty about boys and everything, but the fact is, we were rather conservative.

After college we reconvened in Oakland where we grew up. First we stayed with our parents, but hers were going through a noisy divorce, and mine were crying poverty. So, we rented a small apartment together to save expenses, plus we enjoyed each other’s company.

Unfortunately, between the time she got her first camera and finishing college, the whole world had changed. Chemicals were out. Digital was in. But worse, newspapers were quickly becoming a thing of the past. More and more ‘photojournalism’ was done by amateurs with their cellphones.

Becky was working as a cashier in a little diner, and landing occasional small photo shoots, and every now and then I’d land a counseling session. She and I had fliers all over town, advertised on Craigslist daily, and handed out business cards to everyone who came within ten feet of us, yet there was little work. She also tried freelance photojournalism, submitting pictures and articles to magazines, newspapers and websites with dismal results.

Just like me, she had big student loans and was barely making ends meet. Living in Oakland is expensive even when you’re sharing a 400 square-foot apartment. I was getting perhaps one private client a month. Getting a paid position as a psychologist requires 2,500 hours of internship in California before you’re qualified. Interns are typically unpaid. So, that was out of the question. Money had to be made just to get by from month to month. Becky’s fifteen-year-old Toyota was no longer running, and my classic Volkswagen bug needed tires so badly that I didn’t drive it except when I had to.

One day, Becky got a call from a guy who wanted to do something nice for his wife’s birthday. He wanted a photo shoot of her in various lingerie. He didn’t want a man taking the photos, and so he landed on Becky. Not having a studio, Becky had to ride her bike to the couple’s house. She did the shoot, and everyone was happy. I saw the pictures. The woman was heavyset, and had a few years on her, but Becky made her look lovely.

The woman was more than a little bit delighted. She told her friends, probably even showed them the seductive but not lewd photos, and Becky got two more phone calls, resulting in two more lingerie photo sessions. It was starting to look like Becky was on to something. I was a bit jealous of her success.

I needn’t have been. For the next two weeks, nothing more happened. Becky and I started to think it was a fluke. Then the phone rang again, and Becky had one more lingerie shoot.

Another week passed. Becky was still a cashier but both of us had dreams for her. Then, the phone rang again, and again, and again. Three more happy customers.

The mild depression, thinking she was going to be a cashier for life, was starting to lift.

Becky must have suggested me to one of her clients, because I got a life coaching job out of the deal. Not that I was a life coach, but as a psychologist, I could fake it pretty well.

One time, she got a call that left her in doubt. Should she do the shoot? It was from a gay guy who wanted to gift his boyfriend with an erotic shoot.

“Why not?” I asked her.

She thought about it for a moment, then said, “Right.”

She took that job, and as usual, came back all smiles.

“How’d it go?” I asked, hoping for details. I suppose I’m a sort of voyeur. I wish I had been there to see that shoot, just because it was different than a typical husband-wife thing.

“It went well. They were just like any married couple. It was a bit weird seeing the guy in red lacy panties and a bra, however.”

I laughed.

Everything shifted, seemingly overnight. Suddenly, Becky was getting four and five shoots a week. She had raised her price from $100 to $300, and that only seemed to encourage people more. They probably thought that since her price was so high, she must be good. Actually, she was good, very good. She could make the worst people look attractive.

Things were going great for her, but not so much for me. I had a grand total of two ongoing clients, bringing me $120 a week. Maybe once a month, I’d get a one-off session from someone who was having relationship problems, wanted some anger management, was concerned about drinking too much, or things like that. I took a part-time job as a cashier.

Becky’s business was building nicely. She found a studio just three doors away from our apartment and rented it. She got her car running again, went to a bunch of garage sales, secondhand stores, and so on, filling her studio closets with costumes. She bought some used sofas and other furniture, and in no time flat, she had a proper photo studio.

She had been expecting business to keep growing, but it started to flatten out. One evening she was crying because it seemed she was over her head with the studio’s expenses. I didn’t know what to tell her.

Business didn’t fall off entirely, it just wasn’t building as fast as she thought it would. The good news is that she had quit riding her bike to do housecalls, and had all her clients come to her studio. They liked pawing through the costuming, putting on leather outfits, antique clothing, big feathers, crazy hats, and the other things she had collected.

She told me about the time a forty-something, balding, fat husband came out of the dressing room wearing absolutely nothing. He assumed that was OK. Becky, flustered, told him to go right back in, and find something suitable. I guess he did, because she didn’t say anything more about it.

Then, one day, she got a genuine request for a nude shoot. It’s odd, thinking back, that she hadn’t had one before that. It was yet another husband and wife, but they wanted to be absolutely nude. Becky was worried. Was it immoral? Was it illegal? Was it just plain wrong?

I worked with her going through each objection. At the end of an hour, she came to the conclusion that nothing was wrong with it at all, and accepted the couple’s request. She shot them nude.

I asked her all about it afterward. I was ridiculously curious about it, and was a bit jealous of Becky for being able to watch the couple. According to Becky, other than the fact that they had no clothes, it was a normal photo shoot.

“Did the husband get an erection?” I asked.

“No, it wasn’t like that at all. Just a nice, sweet couple, hugging together in various poses. Not unlike John Lennon and Yoko Ono.”

I wanted more detail, but there was none. I asked to see the pictures, and Becky, always the professional, said maybe she shouldn’t show them to me. Bummer!

That nude couple had friends, and faster than you can say “fine art photography,” she had more nude shoots.

One day she came home excited. I asked what was up. She told me that a husband, a good-looking one at that, did have an erection, and it ‘set her off’ as she called it.

“What does ‘set you off’ mean?”

“I mean, dear, that I got all horny seeing the guy.”

“Oh, I see.”

“I’m going to masturbate in my room. Want to join me?”

That was the first time my good friend had ever said anything like that, and I was shocked. But something else too. I was shocked at my reaction. I did in fact want to masturbate with Becky. What a spectacular, and forward invitation.

“Um, yes, I’d like that.”

“OK, in that case, there’s no need to go in my room. We can do it right here.” And with that, she pulled off her skirt and panties, top and bra, sitting down as naked as the day she was born, right there on our funky old sofa.

I always thought I was one-hundred percent straight, but at that moment, I learned something about myself, as I felt my knees weaken, and tingles running through my body from head to toe.

I was shocked at Becky’s boldness. She must have been terribly horny, because even though we had talked, even years ago, about masturbation, admitting that we did it, we never took any action. In fact, in all the years of school and everything, I had never seen her nude. Not in the school gym classes or anything.

And, she was really, really attractive! So far as I know, she didn’t work out, although she has always been an active person, but she looked great. No extra fat on her, and well defined arm and leg muscles. Maybe it was all the bike riding when her car was broken.

I liked her tits, much larger than mine. They actually hung down, overlapping her lower chest. Mine don’t do that. Not by a long shot. I decided then and there not to be jealous of my best friend. Especially her boobs. That would be ridiculous. There are advantages to small tits after all. They don’t get in the way of physical activities, bras are sort of optional, and so on. I wondered if she sweated where her tits hung down.

Not knowing exactly how to react, I did what seemed to make the most sense at the time. I took off all my clothes too, and sat down next to her.

The next thing that happened was awkwardness. We didn’t know how to proceed. We were both quite horny and it seemed like masturbating was the thing to do, but how to begin, and not seem weird in some way.

Becky was staring at me. Weird. She was looking right at me, like I was a museum exhibit. Finally, she spoke, “Jen, you’re beautiful.”

I would have probably been less surprised if she yelled, “Earthquake!” I’ve never thought of myself as beautiful in the slightest. But the way she said it, practically drooling with her tongue hanging out, was more proof than any words could be.

She asked me to stand up and turn around for her, much like I had done in some of our shoots together. Except this time, I was in my birthday suit, not some fancy skirt or something. “I love your tight little brown ass,” she said.

We both laughed, but I knew she meant it.

I felt my juices flowing and my knees were still weak. Wow!

I sat back down, and so full of the wonderful compliment that without thinking, I kissed her. Right on the lips.

She didn’t pull away. In fact, she responded very nicely, and we kept on kissing. She put her arms around me, and I pulled her right up close. She was so warm, and it felt so nice. Besides hugging with family, fully clothed of course, I had never hugged anyone like this. All the skin contact was simply amazing.

We kept right on kissing. I couldn’t resist, so I reached out with my right hand, and placed it on her huge left breast. She didn’t mind. In fact, she quietly said “Ooh,” in a way that let me know she enjoyed the touch.

I found her nipple, and lightly ran my finger over it as we continued kissing, now gently pushing our tongues into each others mouths. It came to my attention that Becky was shivering. It wasn’t cold in the room, so it must have been overwhelming sexual excitement. That’s all I could figure. I think it was similar to the weak knees effect I was having. By now, my vagina was feeling a strong need for attention.

Thinking she was probably feeling the same need, I instructed her to lay down on the couch. She complied without a word. Half kneeling on the floor with my other leg stretched out over the arm of the couch, I was able to place my head near her vagina. I was delighted that she was hairless there, the same way I am.

I suppose it’s a girl thing. We depilate down there because we think it’s sexy, yet we’ve never been seen there by anyone.

For a second, my mind wandered to a crazy thought: All this time, she and I had been waxing or depilating, and neither knew it. Furthermore, all this time, we had been masturbating, yet neither had any awareness or participation in the other’s activities. What a shame!

That was about to end forever! With my fingertips, I spread her labia a little bit, enjoying the pinkness. I leaned farther over her, propping my weight with one hand, and brought my lips to her pussy. I gave her a little peck on the top of her slit, right over her clit area. Not only didn’t she seem to mind, I could tell she was very much in favor of my actions.

Given her silent permission, I swept my tongue over her inner labia. I repeated it several times, and felt them parting. Pretty soon, I was pressing my tongue deep into her slot, and bringing it up across her clit, over and over again. Her shivering became more severe. Oddly, I was shivering too. Could it be because of the strength required to maintain this odd position over her on the sofa? Maybe.

I didn’t have time to complete that thought. She started moaning really loud. So loud, I was worried the neighbors would hear us, and think something was wrong. I half expected someone to come crashing through the door to see if we were alright. I had locked it, hadn’t I?

She was moaning, shivering, and arching her back. Then she orgasmed, over and over again. It was almost an ongoing orgasm. I wasn’t sure when to quit licking her, so I kept going until she gently pushed my head away.

My arm was sore from holding myself up, but that didn’t matter a bit. I was so happy for Becky. To have done that for her. Even if I didn’t have an orgasm at that point, it would be fine.

Becky was sobbing quietly, and I knew why. It was an incredible breakthrough, and we both knew it.

When she could speak again, she said, “Oh, why did we wait so long to do that?”

“Well, let’s look forward to how much more we can do it, rather than back to what might have been.”

“Agreed!” Then she sat up and kissed me again. After a moment, she not so gently pushed me down into a laying position on the sofa. She got where I had been, although I think because I’m shorter, it wasn’t quite as cramped for her, and she started licking me. It was much more than I could have hoped for. It was without a doubt, the best thing that had happened to me in my life up until that point.

I was getting close to orgasming, but Becky wasn’t done with me. I felt something besides her tongue working in my slit, and came to the realization it was a finger. She was slowly putting her finger in my canal. I couldn’t believe it, and was loving it! Bang! I orgasmed. But Becky didn’t stop. She kept licking me, until I had my third orgasm. She then slowly took her finger out, while I curled up in a ball on the couch. I didn’t cry, but my eyes teared up. I was full of nothing but joy.

We both slept in my bed that night, hugging together like spoons, and falling asleep easily.

The next day we were so excited! We talked about what had happened, and decided that not only was there nothing wrong with it, but we were both very happy it happened. However, there was a bit of regret, on both our parts, that we hadn’t done it sooner.

Her business started growing again. More and more of her clients were wanting nude photography. She was fine with that. One day, she had a gay couple. She had them posing side by side on some stools wearing cowboy hats, holsters with fake guns, ammo belts slung across their shoulders, and nothing else. What was particularly appealing, she said, was that both were sporting big erections.

Oh, I had to see that, and talked her into emailing me the pictures. Shortly afterward, we had another one of our sessions, which were becoming quite regular, like every couple of days.

The gay couple evidently proudly showed their pictures to friends, because the next thing you know, Becky was practically overrun with guys wanting nude photo shoots. Now, there was very little doubt left, she was in the money!

My counseling business was growing too, but not as fast as hers. Much of it was due to her telling everyone who would listen, pretty much all her clients, how much I could help them. I was becoming a life coach. I figured I only needed ten regular clients to earn a full living, and I already had twelve. I took the bold move of quitting my job. I was so happy!

One day, she texted me from the studio. Did I have any clients for the rest of the day?

I texted back that my afternoon was free. She wanted me to come over. She had accidentally double-booked, and thought I could handle the second shoot. I was delighted but nervous.

As I walked to the studio, I was trying to imagine what was going to happen. I kept thinking I must try to act like I know what I’m doing, and reminding myself that I used to be a pretty good photographer.

I got there, and she handed me her backup Hasselblad. She tried to show me how to work it, but I was feeling kind of klutzy about it. Those expensive cameras are no point-and-shoots. It took me a good fifteen minutes, but I finally got to where I figured I could handle it OK. As I was screwing it onto a tripod, my clients arrived. It was a husband and wife, wanting a lingerie shoot. I was glad and disappointed at the same time. Glad, because I felt less weirdness than if it had been a nude shoot, but disappointed because I had secretly hoped to witness something more sexual.

Becky’s studio was small. It started with a waiting room with a desk and a few chairs, looking for all the world like a dentist’s office, except for the photos on the walls. They were large, framed semi-erotic photos of discretely positioned couples posing prettily.

Behind the waiting room, the studio was one long, narrow, open room, a little office in the back, a bathroom, and a small room that she had turned into costume closets and two tiny dressing rooms. In the main room, she had two areas that she called ‘stage sets.’ One was antiquey, and the other was natural, with a wall that looked like a deep forest, and fake rocks and logs instead of furniture. Both sets could be changed, but she tended to keep then in that configuration most of the time. Her couple wanted the nature scene, but so did mine. I was worried about how to handle the conflict, but my couple graciously decided the antique scene, which looked somewhat like a western saloon, would do just fine.

Introducing myself as ‘their photographer,’ I then instructed them to go to the clothing area, select anything they wanted to wear, then come back and we’d start taking pictures. Meanwhile, the other couple, who had arrived a few minutes before my couple, had already started their shoot. They had opted to be entirely naked. There was a big part of me that wished the nude ones had been my couple.

‘How unprofessional Jen,” I was thinking, ‘Get it together.’

My couple kept surreptitiously glancing at the nude couple on the other side of the room. They whispered something to each other. They whispered a little more. I was wondering what was wrong, hoping that my first ever shoot in Becky’s studio wasn’t going to blow up with the couple arguing then leaving. Becky told me that happened with one of her shoots once. I was also realizing how important this was to me. Fact is, I had been jealous of Becky. I would have loved to be a successful photographer taking erotic pictures of couples. Can you imagine a better profession?

Finally done whispering, they turned to me and asked, “Do we have to pay more to be nude?”

“Oh, of course not,” I said, trying not to sound too delighted.

They headed for the dressing rooms, and came back naked. These two were rather nice looking. I’d figure them to be early thirties. She had some stretch marks, but otherwise was practically a model. He was a large guy, with bodybuilder muscles. He was so built, you could see the veins bulging against his muscles. Seeing that caused me to wonder whether the veins in his penis were visible also. I couldn’t help glancing, and sure enough, they were. It didn’t dawn on me at first, but he was fully erect!

The man kept glancing away. What was he looking at? By God, he was looking at the other man. And what about him? He had an erection, too! I happened to catch Becky’s eye, and she noticed the same thing.

Both wives were either oblivious or didn’t care. We got down to business, and my couple started posing on the bar stools, against the saloon mirror, and in the bed which happened to be part of the saloon scene. Go figure! They were naturals. I didn’t have to do much directing, not that I could have, had it been required.

Becky and I talked about it later. She said some couples are stiff and shy, and others are right ‘out there.’ Furthermore, she said, you can’t tell which is which in advance. She said she had become quite experienced in directing them.

My shoot went well, and the couple went home happy. Becky had another $300, and to my surprise she handed me $60 right away for my help. So, I, too, went home happy.

When Becky came home, she and I talked about the two guys sporting wood, and evidently excited by each other.

“Does that happen often?” I asked.

“It’s never happened. That was the first time I was ever double-booked. I’ve had the occasional couple finishing up when the next one arrives, but I try to keep the new ones in the reception room until the first ones are done.”

“It kind of legitimizes us, doesn’t it?” I said.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we’ve been excited by each other, which I mean as a good thing, by the way. So it was nice to see two guys being excited by each other.”

“Yes, it was certainly interesting. Got me horny. How about you?”

“Certainly,” I said, and without another word, we were undressed, kissing, and frigging each other. My client’s erection was in my mind like a song you can’t stop humming. It was front and center, and all I could think of. It didn’t take me long to have a strong orgasm under Becky’s ministrations.

Becky started hiring me more, and more, and I was quite happy with the whole situation. Finally, I could give up my job, and get new tires on my car, too. I was even making progress toward the student loan that had been hanging over my head for years. Her studio was getting crowded, with ever more double-bookings. She hired an interesting fellow, a guy named Craig Whitcomb, to be her receptionist. I don’t think she paid him much, but he seemed happy to be there.

Craig didn’t often participate in the actual shoots. He did the photos, however, since part of his job was selling additional prints to the customers. Craig was rather short, being maybe two inches taller than me, rail-thin, but wiry, with neatly trimmed curly light brown, almost blond hair and a matching beard. Oh, and he was as white as I was Asian. He probably seldom saw the sun, judging from his very light complexion.

He and I would get to talking from time to time in the rare moments when there wasn’t photography to be done. He had a weird hobby. He liked starting with black and white prints, and coloring them with transparent oil paints and colored pencils. He told me it was an antique process dating from the days when color photography was still in its infancy. But now, it’s an artform. He can subtly or glaringly change colors, which creates entirely different moods in the pictures. He had taken to showing his portfolio to our clients, and Becky was fine with that. I gathered he was making good money on the side by doctoring up black and white reprints of our clients. Who would have figured that anyone would want that?

I found Craig to be a quiet-spoken, likable guy with a quirky sense of humor. He liked playing with words, and didn’t mind saying whatever goofy thing that came to his mind. Some were plain stupid, but some were so funny he’d have all three of us falling on the floor laughing.

One late afternoon, Craig asked me on a date. Me! I didn’t see that coming. I was instantly flattered, and accepted.

Knowing his budget was probably about the same as mine, when he suggested a local Michelin star restaurant, I suggested Applebys. He went with that, and we had a great evening, talking until they closed the place. Being a warm evening, we abandoned his car, and walked the mile or so to the neighborhood where we both lived.

As we approached, I sensed that something good could happen. But would it be at his place, or mine? Since Becky would be home, I was hoping he’d invite me to his place.

It didn’t turn out that way. He walked me to the door, gave me a light peck on the cheek, and said “Goodnight, Jen.”

I was so disappointed I just stood there for a moment, stunned. I was starting to really like Craig, but evidently, he didn’t feel the same way.

The next day at work, even though he said “Hi” to me when I arrived in a very chipper way, I could hardly make eye contact with him.

I had an interesting client, a guy named Salmon, of all things. Like the fish. He was tall, young, thin and definitely athletic. He wanted something unusual. It was such a weird request I had to consult with Becky.

She said “Go for it! It might be fun, or at least interesting.”

The guy wanted to sit in the ‘saloon,’ on one of the bar stools, purposely get hard, and jerk off while I took pictures. He wanted extreme closeups as well as full body shots. How weird is that?

I asked Craig to hang out in the studio as much as he could when the waiting room wasn’t busy, because I didn’t entirely trust Salmon. Craig was fine with that. Salmon, wasn’t so fine with it.

When Salmon came sauntering back from the dressing room, he was all smiles, and his defoliated penis was already half hard. I rather liked what I saw, and got the all too familiar twinge in my lower belly and pussy. Then Craig walked in, and Salmon looked suddenly disappointed.

I didn’t understand until he said, “I’m not sure I can do this in front of a man.”

“Sorry, I’ll leave,” was Craig’s immediate response. I wasn’t worried, because he’d be at his desk on the other side of the thin wall that separated the reception area. He’d hear if I had to scream or anything.

“No,” Salmon, said, “I think it will be OK. Might even be better – if I can get it up, that is.”

“You’re sure?” Craig asked.

“Let’s try it. Oh, and call me Sal.”

Salmon took up his spot on the stool, and started working to bring his now wilted penis back to life. I started clicking away, knowing all the first photos would be deleted. But our cameras had huge memory cards. It reminded me of my childhood days when I had to make my $5 allowance cover my film and supplies, and every click of the shutter cost significant money. Things were sure better these days.

It didn’t take him long to get hard. Oddly, during the whole process, he was talking with us, just like it was an ordinary day, and as if everyone was clothed and doing normal things. But there he was, jerking off right there in front of us while he spoke.

He told us that he’s currently straight and single. His girlfriend left him. He said it was because he’s too gentle, and she preferred a wilder man. Someone dangerous that she could tame. I doubted that, but didn’t interrupt. He volunteered that he didn’t drink, smoke, do drugs, and wasn’t religious. He thought that his qualities were a rare combination, and I had to agree. I was also quite impressed.

Craig uncharacteristically spoke up, asking Salmon, “Why the photo shoot of yourself jerking off?”

“Some day, I’m going to be old. Right now, I’m young and have a high libido. In case I forget how things were someday, I’m going to want a reminder.”

Weird, but true. I mean, would you want photos of yourself masturbating? But evidently Salmon did. Each to his own, I say.

He started really getting into it. His hand was moving up and down really fast. He was breathing heavy, and I figured it was time to move in for the action shots I knew were coming. Becky had come over with the other Hasselblad, and was clicking away too. Suddenly, it happened. The first spurt went about two inches straight up into the air and landed on his hand. Three or four more spurts followed suit, then he was done.

What a smile! Upon completing his task, Salmon had the most spectacular smile. I, meanwhile, wanted to go jill myself as soon as possible. I was so horny seeing that! If you can imagine, here I was a virgin, and witnessing a good-looking and friendly man jerking off, up close.

Becky and I transferred the images to the main computer on Craig’s desk. There, all four of us gathered around, quickly sorting through them and commenting now and then. We were saying things like, “Nice cumshot!” and “Looking Good, Sal.” Even Craig chipped in with “Wow, Dude, that looks hot.”

I didn’t expect that from Craig. Then, I suddenly realized. He’s gay. He must be gay. That’s why he didn’t follow through on our date.

Three days later, I got a call from Sal. Did I like pizza?

My response was so quick and loud it surprised me. “Hell, yes!”

We arranged a pizza date for that evening, while I was lounging in the waiting room. Craig was there, and seemed to be paying no attention. However, for the rest of the afternoon, he was quieter than usual, and not wearing his usual Mona Lisa smile.

“What’s up with him?” I asked Becky, and got the weirdest response.

“Girl, if you don’t know…”

I ate pizza with Craig and we talked, and talked, and talked some more. He was a good listener. I found out that he’s a policeman. That seems like a good profession. If I were to marry someone, a policeman would be a good choice. They tend to have good values, and I’d always feel protected.

We hit it off, and I thought we might fuck. Now, at that point, I was still a virgin. I hadn’t been in a hurry, knowing I’d find the right guy some day. Oh, I wasn’t being all prissy or anything. I just wasn’t in a hurry. I think my activities with Becky were part of the reason. I found her ‘company’ very satisfying.

We found ourselves out in the parking lot by our cars. We kissed. Then we kissed some more. It felt very nice being hugged by this man. We discussed where to go. So, it was going to happen. Obviously, it would have to happen at his place, because Becky was at my place, and I couldn’t just parade him in front of her.

The problem was, he had a roommate also, and didn’t want to bring me home, thereby surprising his roomie.

I was suffering a flurry of mixed emotions. I was so close to losing my virginity, which I was so willing to do with Sal, even though it was our first date. I could tell he was just right. But then it seemed it wasn’t going to happen, I was so frustrated I was almost angry with him. But then it dawned on me, what if he and his roommate are like me and Becky, you know, masturbating together, or worse?

Despite the flurry my mind was in, we couldn’t make it happen. We kissed, hugged, assured each other we’d get together in the next day or two, then went our separate ways.

When I got home, Becky was already asleep in her room. I tried masturbating myself, but was sad. So sad, I couldn’t manage an orgasm, and fell asleep to disturbing dreams.

I dreamed that I was very old, and still a virgin. In the dream, my vagina had grown huge, and sloppy, so sloppy I could no longer retain my pee, from 50 years of unfulfilling continuous masturbation. I woke up thinking I had wet the bed. Thankfully, I hadn’t.

Arriving at the studio for a 9am shoot, I was met by Craig who wanted to apologize. I didn’t understand.

He explained that he had been grouchy. I asked why.

“I like you, Jen. I mean, I really like you.”

“So?” I know that wasn’t a very nice response, but that’s what I said.

“Well, it kind of bothered me to see you going out with that perv.”

“He’s far from a perv.”

“Oh, you’re right. I just want to think of him that way.”

“Huh?”

“Because I messed up with you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Well, the other day, I really, really wanted to take you to my place, but I couldn’t.”

“Why the hell not?”

“You know, I suppose the truth is you scare me.”

“How can I possibly scare you?”

“Jen, don’t you get it? You’re too perfect. I mean, what man wouldn’t just die to get with you?”

“You’ve got to be kidding. I’m just an ugly little stick-figure.”

“Oh, Jen, I hope you don’t really see yourself that way. You’re the most beautiful woman in the whole world!”


I couldn’t believe my ears. Did he really feel that way, or was he joking? Was he fucking with me? Looking at his sincere expression, I believed he was serious. Well, what do you know! My whole day brightened.

After my shoot, I came by his desk, and we couldn’t really talk because there were customers in the waiting room, but I smiled at him, and he smiled back. That’s all the communication we needed for the moment.

That very evening, he took me on another date. This time it was to his house, for a home-cooked meal. He tried making Thai food, in honor of my heritage. It wasn’t very good, but I admired that he tried. Afterward we talked for a while. It was awkward but neither of us quite knew what to do. I not too patiently waited for him to make the first move.

“Want to watch a movie?”

I practically yelled “Fuck, no!” but instead, I quietly said, “I had something else in mind.”

“Nice,” was all he said, as he got up from his chair, came over to me, and gave me a nice kiss on the lips. That turned into a French kiss, and soon, he was fumbling with the buttons on my blouse.

Then he stopped, and said, “What about Sal?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot to tell you. Nothing happened with us.”

He was visibly relieved. He returned to my blouse buttons, but wasn’t doing very well with them. I took over, and in a moment, my blouse was thrown unceremoniously on his living room floor, as he started removing his shirt.

He stopped again, as I was sitting there in my bra and bluejeans, and he in his pants, and asked, “Is it OK?”

“Very OK!” and then we quickly took off everything else.

For a white guy, he was very good to look at. His penis was already hard and sticking up. It was larger than I would have expected for a short guy, and big in diameter also. I had a fleeting thought that it might not fit in me. That thought caused a horny chill to run throughout my body. I was certainly ready for the challenge!

When I was out of all my clothes, he practically jumped on me, pushing me down on his sofa. Then, thinking better of it, he took my hand, and led me into his bedroom.

We laid down in unison, and found ourselves rolling back and forth on his queen size bed, hugging like there was no tomorrow. I felt his hard penis pressed between us, and it felt very appealing. I wanted that thing inside me!

“Take it easy on me.” I said.

He thought for a second, then said, “Oh, you’re a virgin?”

“‘Fraid so.”

“Oh my. You’re sure you’re alright with this? We can wait.”

“No!” I practically cried.

He then surprised me by saying, “I am too.” Somehow, I liked that.

We resumed hugging for quite a while. We both knew what was coming, and wanted to savor every part of the experience.

Finally, he backed away, sat up, and started rummaging around in his nightstand drawer. He found a small packet. I knew what it was immediately, although I had never seen one in person. He tore it open, and then took quite a bit of time trying to put it on his dick. First, he had it upside down, and it wouldn’t unroll. He truly was a virgin!

By the time he got it on, his penis was only half hard. We hugged again, then he started pressing his penis against my vagina. It wasn’t going in. That was partly because he wasn’t hard, but also because he was pressing in the wrong place, way too high.

I put my hand on his penis, which was now soft as a noodle, and tried to put it in the right place. It wasn’t happening.

In the dim light, I could see he was quite distressed.

“I read somewhere that this is common the first time with guys.”

He seemed visibly relieved.

“Here,” I said, and reached forward, taking the condom carefully off his penis. It had been so big earlier, now it was just a little shriveled thing. I thought it might be a good idea to put it in my mouth. That’s what they do in the movies, right? Putting my head down in his lap, I kissed the tip of his penis, then slowly sucked it in. I just held it in my mouth, then started swirling my tongue around the tip. It felt quite natural. It wasn’t as if I was doing something ‘naughty’ for the first time. I was more like this was exactly the right thing. And more than that. I felt almost like I was born to suck penises. I literally sucked more of it into my mouth, then I sucked very hard for a second to see what would happen. My cheeks caved inward a bit, and it felt nice.

He said, “Ouch,” and explained I had scraped him with my teeth.

Being more careful, I continued to play with his dick in my mouth. It was starting to harden up nicely. I was amazed how much it filled my mouth, and at the same time, I tried to get it in deeper. It felt nice, but then I went too far, and gagged a bit. Readjusting, I continued to suck, and now, it was fully hard.

Suddenly, he shouted, “Wait!”

I backed off immediately, but it was already too late. I saw several spurts of white liquid coming out the tip.

“Oh no,” he exclaimed. “I wanted it to be special for you.”

“Oh it was,” I assured him, even though I was horribly disappointed to still be a virgin. “Can you get hard again?”

“Um, no. Well, maybe in a while.”

We just hugged on his bed for a while. The next thing I knew, his clock said it was around midnight. We had both fallen asleep. He stirred, saying “Hello, Jen” in a soothing, mellow, loving voice.

I wanted to try something, and without asking, I just did. I repositioned myself in the bed, and placed my mouth on his penis again. In a couple of minutes he became hard. Knowing better this time, I quit while I was ahead.

Rummaging around on his floor, I found the condom I had taken off earlier. It was pretty obvious it wasn’t reusable. I asked if he had another.

“A whole box full,” he said as he dug another packet out of the drawer. He tore it open and applied it to his penis, more expertly this time.

To my delight, his dick stayed hard. We arranged ourselves on the bed and again he tried pressing it into me. I had become quite wet, as I always do. I have heard that most women don’t get as wet as I do. Hell, I make puddles on the bed when I masturbate. So, lubrication wasn’t a problem. But our position was wrong.

Remembering something about ‘missionary position’ I figured it must be the easiest, so I rolled on the bed so I was facing up, and indicated by kind of pressing him around, that he should lay on top of me. In a moment, he had that large penis of his lined up properly, and in another moment, I felt stretched out like I never have before. Boy, did that feel nice! I thought it was going to hurt, but nothing of the kind, It felt, well, fulfilling.

There had been some couples in the studio that fucked right there in front of our cameras. So, I had seen what it was like, but had no idea how nice it felt!

Pretty soon, Craig was pushed all the way into me, and started kind of rocking back and forth an inch. In a moment, it was all over. He moaned, and I think I felt a minor pulsing feeling inside me. Then he collapsed on top. He was heavier than one would have thought. I had a bit of trouble breathing, but wasn’t going to complain.

In a minute, I felt a little movement, and realized his penis was shrinking. A few seconds later, pop, and it was out. He continued to lay on me, and although I was enjoying it very much, there were two little problems. He was starting to weigh too much, and even though I was no longer a virgin, I was still horny.

Craig is quite a gentleman, but I already knew that. After a moment, he rolled off me, then, to my surprise and delight, he started kissing my vagina. Soon, he was lapping up my copious juice, and stroking my inner labia and clit with his tongue. I felt his rough whiskers on my outer labia and between my upper thighs, and although sandpapery, it was very, very comforting. At the same time, I was getting that shivery effect, and knew an orgasm was coming. Not only that, I could tell it was going to be a big one.

And it was. When the orgasm hit, it was really, really big. I practically passed out. It was just one orgasm, but it was huge, and lasted a long time. Afterward, I held him tight, and we fell asleep again.

The next day at work was all smiles. I think Becky must have instinctively known what happened, and she was smiling like a chesire cat also. I was glad she was happy for me, because I could imagine she might be jealous.

Craig and I wanted to get together again the very next evening, but unfortunately, he had a dinner planned with his parents.

So that night, at home with Becky, I told her the whole story. Her eyes were all sparkly. She was super-supportive even though she said she was just a teeny bit jealous.

The next day, Craig and I were definitely going to get together again at his place. About three in the afternoon, Salmon called me, and I took the call in front of Becky and Craig. I had to burst his bubble right away. I was kind, but told him I had been falling for another guy, was just confused when he and I got together, and wished him well. He was cool.

An hour later, Craig picked up the phone, and it was for Becky. He had a weird smile as he handed her the phone. I paid no attention.

A few minutes later, Becky came back out to the waiting room, and said, “Jen, I have to ask you something.”

I was instantly curious. Her tone of voice was strange. “What?”

“I’m getting the impression you’re with Craig. Can I say that?”

Perhaps my cheeks turned red. Craig’s did. “Yes, true enough!” and then I smiled big, as did he.

“Well, guess who just called and asked me out?”

Craig was smiling but didn’t say anything.

I took a crack at it. “Salmon?”

“Right-o!”

“And you want to go out with him?”

“You bet, he’s a catch!”

“Really? Well, yes, certainly. That’s great!”

Now everyone was all smiles.

That evening, Craig and I practiced our new skill again. He was positive that we could work the timing so we could have orgasms at the same time. He started by licking me again, and once I got close, he put on a condom and fucked me like an expert. The guy learns quick. We didn’t have simultaneous orgasms, but it was close.

The next day at work, Everyone was smiles again, including Becky. When I had a chance, I pulled her aside, and because we are such good friends, I just came right out and asked, “Did you do it?”

Her answer was an even bigger smile. So, she, too, was no longer a virgin.

Days turned into weeks, which turned into years. I became a regular at the studio. Somehow, my psychology days were over. I was a photographer, and these days, I was more of a videographer. Becky had bought a former warehouse, and turned it into a huge studio. There was plenty of money, so she had it remodeled into a place with eight separate settings. She had a dungeon, a great outdoor scene with an artificial pond and waterfall, a small replica of a football field, an old English sitting room complete with a baby grand piano and four-poster bed, a cloud scene, and several more settings. She even had showers, a sauna, and hot tub. She had twelve employees. Craig and I were still among them. Becky was very generous with the profits.

Craig and I married. A year later, Becky and Salmon married. He is now a detective. They have two daughters. Craig and I have a son and daughter. Yes, the kids know all about the studio, and don’t seem to care. In fact, as they grow older, we hope they will care, because we we’d like them to take it over some day. But who knows with kids, right?

Becky and I still do sexual things together sometimes. The guys don’t mind a bit. Often they participate. In fact, they often ‘do’ each other while Becky and I are going at it. I have also fucked Sal, and Becky and Craig have had their kicks too.

A typical day after the studio closes is that the four of us get together in the studio hot tub, all naked of course, then maybe Craig will fuck me, while Becky gives Sal a handjob. Then Sal buttfucks Craig while I reach under Craig and give him a handjob. Then I try to fist Becky’s ass, which we’ve not yet quite managed, and on and on it goes. After an hour or so, we come home to the kids, give them lots of love and attention, then after their bedtime, we go to sleep, looking forward to another great day in the studio.

Penis Encyclopedia

Strange Facts, Trivia and Fun True Stories

by Jeremy J Watson

Table of Contents

Start Here

A – Accident, Apple Polishing, Anal Plug…

B – Ball Vise, BDSM, Bisexual, Blood Pressure..

C – Catheter, CFNM, Children, Clamps…

D – Decoupling, Dildo, Dry Orgasm…

E – Edging, Enlargement, Epididymis, Estim…

F – Finger, Fisting, Foreskin, Frenulum…

G – Gay, Genital Modification, Gooning…

H – Handjob, Hitachi Wand, Hypospadias…

I – Implants, Injaculation, Ithyphallophobia…

J – Jelqing, Jerking Off, Judeo-Christian…

K – Kegels, Kellogg’s Corn Flakes…

L – Leather, Lisa Sparxx, Love…

M – Masochism, Masturbate-A-Thon…

N – Nipples, Non-Stop Orgasm, Nude Beach…

O – Oral, Orchidometer, Orgasm…

P – PC Muscle, Peegasm, Penis Plug…

Q – Q-Tip, Quaking

R – Radix, Raphe, Reverse PA…

S – Sadism, Safeword, Sandstone Retreat…

T – Tantra, TENS, Tickling, Top…

U – Urethra, Urine, Urology…

V – Vacuum Pump, Viagra, Virgin…

W – Wanker, Watersports, Wet Dreams…

X – X-Treme Sex, XTube, XXX

Y – Your Author, Youth, YouTube

Z – Zoophilia

Numbers – Greek Couples, Bisexual Scale

Start Here

Table of Contents

This book provides vast scientific information, unexpected news, and a wide variety of true stories, scenarios, and techniques for fully enjoying the human penis. Pretty much any adult man will enjoy this book, whether straight, gay or bisexual. Women who are interested in the penis will also find tons of interesting and exciting material.

Your author has been happily married for 30 years, and has experienced all the usual and unusual heterosexual activities including such things as bondage and anal intercourse. He also has a bisexual side, and has experienced a wide range of, well, pretty much anything you can imagine, including attending a party with 120 people, all masturbating for charity, circle jerks, and unusual massages gatherings. In addition to considerable solo masturbation, some of it quite experimental, your author often enjoys mutual masturbation, the safest form of sex between two or more people. He likes handjobs and related activities such as testicle massage and apple polishing, the rather intense technique of having the palm of someone’s hand rubbed over the glans, the tip of the penis.

That’s just your author. Your own tastes may be different. No worries. This book is written for you, and will no doubt provide fascinating material pertaining to your own interests.

I’d like to say this encyclopedia is written in a completely objective way. But it’s not. Complete objectivity is probably impossible. Your author’s opinions do make an appearance from time to time.

Disclaimer: While considerable effort has been expended on double and triple-checking facts, your author, and everyone associated with this book, make no claims as to accuracy. So, you may want to do your own fact-checking before making claims, placing bets, etc.

The author is by no means a medical professional, so none of the material in this book is to be taken as medical advice.

Whereas disorders of the penis and related systems can be considered embarrassing, please do not hesitate to contact a medical practitioner should a concern arise, as trying to keep conditions concealed and home remedies can make situations worse. Besides, the medical people have seen it all.

The things that go on in a typical hospital emergency room would amaze you. Medical personnel have had to remove light bulbs from anuses, worms, ball-point pens, and ball bearings from bladders, and have treated punctured scrotums and glued-shut peeholes. Whatever you might present will not surprise them.

A

Table of Contents

Accident: In the penis context, this means ejaculating before intended. In most forms of sexual play men would prefer to delay their ejaculations, to get as much joy out of a situation as possible. Women generally take longer to orgasm than men, so it is also important to many women that men delay, so both can have their orgasms at nearly the same time. Young men have more trouble with ‘accidents,’ also known as premature ejaculation, than older men.

Your author was once introduced by two female friends to a young man, around 20 years old, who wanted to play with mutual masturbation while the two young women watched. We took off our clothes, and he jerked me off for a while. Being older and experienced, I was able to enjoy the stroking, but held off cumming just fine. Then, we decided to switch the attention to him. I had him take my place on the bed and I reached out and touched his penis with my forefinger. He ejaculated right then and there. We didn’t happen to get together again, but my guess is that subsequent sessions would have lasted longer. I would have made it a point to introduce him to techniques to prevent accidents, and I think he would have appreciated practicing with me.


Addiction: Oh, yes, a man, or a woman for that matter, can become addicted to masturbation. How do you know whether you’re addicted? The definition of addiction is that it interferes with your work or social life. If you’ve quit golfing with your buddies, or if you’re at risk of losing your job due to staying home and wanking all the time, you’re addicted.

I remember hearing about a woman who had to come home and masturbate directly after work instead of watching TV, every day. She’d rub herself to as many as 200 orgasms in a one or two-hour session. But, she was doing well in her job, her social life, and even her health. If she had rubbed herself raw, that would be another matter. So was she addicted? Evidently not.

If you’re addicted to something else, for instance drugs or smoking, you might try getting addicted to masturbation instead. Challenge yourself. Can you do it? Your author believes it is easier to replace one addiction with another, rather than just stopping something altogether. Of course this is simplistic, but it might be worth a try, don’t you think?

Your author can imagine an anti-addiction group in which the participants, possibly both men and women, meet weekly, get naked, and wank together while talking about how they quit smoking, drinking, whatever their former addictions were.


Albert, Prince: The Prince Albert is a fairly common piercing in which a ring, or U-shaped bit of jewelry is placed in a hole that has been pierced through the penis. This specific piercing is through the meatus and into the underside of the penis, typically around 1/4 to 1/2 inch (1/2 to 1 cm) from the bottom of the opening.

The Prince Albert can be worn 24/7. Most are removable. Ordinary intercourse can be performed with a Prince Albert, and it is said to be additionally stimulating. Some men will start with a small diameter insert, and eventually stretch the opening so the jewelry is 1/4-inch (6mm) or more in diameter.


Alprostadil: One of the PGE (Prostaglandin E1 family of drugs, this is a urethral suppository that promotes erection. Push a tablet into your peehole about ten minutes before you want a good, strong erection, and you’re all set!


After sex: According to at least one survey, 36 out of a hundred men turn to social media after having sex, even before taking a shower.


Americans: According to at least one survey, approximately four percent of Americans self-identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual. According to other non-survey studies, approximately ten percent of the population is gay or lesbian.


Ampallang: A piercing that passes entirely through a man’s glans from right to left. The ampallang may pass through the urethra, or above it in the case of the American ampallang. This is considered a painful piercing, and can require up to several months to fully heal, requiring the recipient to abstain from sex during that time.


Anal Intercourse: Penetrating an anus with a penis. This is done to both women and men. The person pushing the penis in can be referred to as the top and the recipient is the bottom. In men, anal intercourse is considered the traditional form of gay sex.

Care must be taken to penetrate very slowly for first time bottoms. In fact, do not expect to succeed on your first try. It is better to have a few sessions beforehand in which one finger, and then two and three fingers are placed in the bottom’s ass. The anus tends to be very tight at first. One might almost say, “resistant.” With patience, the anal sphincter relaxes and penetration is much easier. Use lots of slippery, non-toxic lube. An experienced bottom can take a penis easily, and sometimes graduates to larger things, such as a fist.

Anal intercourse is the most common way to become infected with an STD. The tissues in the rectum have very little protection against viral invasion. If you must participate in anal intercourse , by all means use a rubber. Rubbers, however, have been known to rupture, leak, or even come off and get temporarily lost inside a bottom’s rectum.

The scenarios of anal intercourse are interesting for both the top and bottom. The initial penetration is difficult, sometimes complicated by the top not being fully erect. A good, solid erection is required. It can also seem as if the penis is not lining up with the anal opening. Once the head of the penis (glans) slips in, you may feel a slight, often delightful pop. Once fully in, The top feels a tightness beyond anything experienced in vaginal intercourse. If the bottom orgasms during anal intercourse, the top can often feel the contractions around his penis, which may then trigger an orgasm for the top.

The bottom might feel pain, and if so, the penetration should be done very slowly, or even stopped for the time being. On different days, the experience can vary. Sometimes, the bottom is just going to be too tight. On another day, where all factors seem the same, the penis goes in with no problem.

At first, even an experienced bottom may feel a slight pain. That soon goes away, and is often replaced by a sort of ‘craving.’ It’s as if the body wants more, and the bottom may want the penis pushed firmly in all the way, or stroked in and out fully and rapidly.

Quite often the bottom, whether male or female, starts stroking his or her penis or vagina, and can end up having a simultaneous orgasm with the top.


Anal Plug: Also known as butt plug. This is a device that is pushed through the anus into the rectum. Most have a diameter sufficient to feel interesting when inserted, then a reduced diameter, and finally a large diameter at the distal end. This last section is to keep the plug from going all the way into the rectum where it could be lost.

Many men enjoy wearing anal plugs while masturbating, and/or for hours on end. The feeling of sitting down once an anal plug is inserted all the way, is erotic.

Anal plugs are usually made of silicone or similar soft, rubbery material.

Some anal plugs have a big enough base that they can stand upright when placed on a floor or table. A few have suction cup bases that can be attached to a wall. The purpose of this configuration is to slowly sit down, thereby inserting the plug.

The size of an anal plug can be quite astounding. Experienced users can sometimes take a plug several inches in diameter.

Length too, can be interesting. While most plugs are under 10 inches (25 cm), they can be as long as a yard (meter) or more. These are smaller in diameter, and very flexible. They are no longer just plugs, but a device that can be insert well into the large intestine for a very deep stimulation.


Anus: The asshole itself. Typically, the ass refers to the large area surrounding the anus, but can also refer to the anus itself. Asshole is the more common term. Most men – and women too – enjoy anal play. Many like placing anything from fingers to tongues to entire hands in the anus, as well as an assortment of plastic toys including dildoes and vibrators. The area inside the anus is the rectum.

A particularly enjoyable thing to do with an anus is to run one’s finger around the anus lightly for a while. This sensation is teasing in a way, but delightful for most men in it’s own right. The trick to doing it well, is to do it very, very lightly. The best position is to have the recipient on his hands and knees, so the anus is very accessible. This can be done with, or without lubricant. The light teasing is most effective at the start of a session. Later on, you can start very slightly penetrating the anus with a finger. For that, lubrication is generally required.

The anus is usually slow to accommodate large diameters. If a man wants more, several fingers, or a whole fist in the anus, it is important to work up to it very slowly.

Removing from the anus is also best done slowly. It can be rather shocking for someone to put a finger, or other object, in your anus, then have it suddenly removed. It is a feeling that makes your eyes open wide.

When a finger is left in the anus for a while, then withdrawn very slowly, the sensation is rather unusual. The person new to this activity could swear that the finger is a foot long.

Most forms of anal play are best done after the man has cleaned the area with an enema, and/or has had a diet that does not result in soft fecal material. On the other hand, the best diets for health and long life generally do result in softness.


Anxiety: A recent study found that thirty percent of men are quite dissatisfied with the size of their penis. Many will go to great lengths to avoid disrobing among men in showers, saunas and other public places, because they are afraid other men will think their penis is too big or too small. Some are even worried that people can see their penis size through their pants.


Apadravya: A piercing that transects the urethra, going from the top to the bottom of the glans. This is said to be the most painful common male genital piercing, and can take months to heal, during which time the recipient should abstain from sex.

The apadravya is said to be particularly pleasant in vaginal and anal sex, since it can stimulate the G-spot, A-spot, or prostate gland.


Aphrodisiac: a chemical that when ingested causes a person to become attracted, ideally to the one who administered it. Aphrodisiacs are often snuck into victims’ food or drinks without their permission. Quite possibly, aphrodisiacs don’t actually work, although there are people who swear by them.

While there are many who believe that aphrodisiacs cannot work, it seems one possibility is wine. The scent of wine can supposedly get people sexually charged up. The assumption is that the aroma of wine closely mimics human phrenomes.


Apple Polishing: Have someone put some coconut oil or something slippery on the palm of their hand. Then ask them to rub it lightly over the tip of your penis (glans) while the shaft of your penis is being held in their other hand. If you don’t squirm like crazy right away, you’re not human. This squirming feeling is very hard to take, but also very pleasurable, as long as you like intensity. In a few minutes, if you can take it, the feeling transmutes into something milder, and rather interesting: Typically a ‘gotta pee’ combined with ‘gonna cum’ feeling. However, you generally don’t pee or cum, but can enjoy the feeling for quite a long time. The problem is getting there. The intensity can be so great that you have to have someone sit on your chest and hands so you won’t try to get away.

Apple polishing, also known as glans rubbing works best if you are hard before your friend begins.

To fully appreciate this technique, you might want to have a safeword. If you really can’t take it, you can say the word. Then, you can be tied down to the bed and your friend can really go to town on you. If you should settle in too soon, your friend can try varying the angle of the rub, the pressure, and the amount of squeezing of your dick with their other hand. Various combinations will send you through the roof – in a good way – if you enjoy intensity.

There are a couple of cautions: Too much, or with too little oil can cause damaging wear to your skin, forming redness or even blisters that can take days to heal. Like sunburn, you might not notice it while it’s happening.

Sometimes people do involuntarily pee during this procedure.


Arousal: The state of being sexually excited. In men, this generally includes getting an erection. In women, it can be evidenced with a slight erection of the clitoris. In both sexes, the nipples may harden.


Asexual: Approximately one percent of people say they are asexual, meaning they have no interest in sex.


Ass: While ass typically refers to the buttocks or area of the gluteus maximus, it can also refer specifically to the anus.


Ass Play: While this is an encyclopedia about the penis, ass play is closely related. Ass play takes many forms. Some men like spanking. Others enjoy anal play – placing objects, fingers, or penises into the anus.


Avocados: This fruit is thought to have aphrodisiac qualities.

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Bacteria: The typical man has 42 species of bacteria living on his penis. But don’t be alarmed. There are even more bacteria on the hands.


Ball Vise: Also known as testicle vise. This is a clamp-like contraption, often homemade, that is fastened around the testicles to apply pressure. Most are adjustable, and the recipient will accommodate greater and greater pressure as the session progresses. Some men will squeeze their balls only enough to feel slight pressure while others are true masochists and will endure tremendous squeezing and great pain.


Barbell: A form of jewelry worn in piercings. Barbells are straight or curved lengths that have small balls on each end.


Bareback: Anal intercourse among men without the protection of a rubber. This is a dangerous practice even among long-term monogamous couples because there are many diseases one can catch, and some diseases can lay dormant and undetected for twenty years or more.


Bead implants: Also known as pearling. Some men slit the skin of their penis and insert inert beads, typically around 1/4″ (6mm) in size, then let the incisions heal. The typical beader will put a dozen to twenty beads in his dick, resulting in an intriguing bumpy surface. This is generally done without local anesthetic, similar to piercing. For some, this pain is pleasurable. It must be interesting to feel a bumpy penis inside one’s vagina or anus.


BDSM: This acronym might stand for “Bondage, Discipline (or Dominance), Sadism and Masochism. No one quite knows. The acronym seems to have originate in the early 1990’s in Usenet newsgroups. The exact application of the term is also nebulous. In general, it is consensual role playing, generally with a sexual context. Specifics vary widely. For instance, a married couple might like to play doctor, with the ‘doctor’ examining the patient, which happens to involve stimulating the penis. In another case, a man may dress as a woman, and be ‘badly’ treated by a group. One distinguishing factor of BDSM is that it is consensual. Both parties must agree with what happens. Usually, a safeword is selected that the recipient of a treatment can speak should s/he feel the need arise to stop what is happening. Costuming (“cosplay”) can be important to some BDSM participants. BDSM outfits are often extremely exaggerated nurse attire, very high high-heels, tight corsets, and leather. Very extreme BDSM is called edgeplay.


Bengay: Known as Ben-Gay until 1995. This topical treatment, also known by other brand names such as Icy Hot, causes heat on the skin and is often used to treat sore muscles. Overuse, or used on sensitive skin can cause serious chemical burns, so mild applications to less sensitive areas should be tested first. The adventurous pain lover might apply this material to scrotum or penis. Do not let it get into your urethra.


Big Draw: Generally used in tantric sex or massage, this involves squeezing your buttocks and PC muscle, possibly arching the back, taking one or more very deep breaths and doing what you can to resist ejaculation just before and during an orgasm. The taoists who practice the big draw also visualize the energy that would have resulted in ejaculation passing up through the anus, then the spine, and working its way to the head. This can result in no ejaculation or an injaculation, plus a spectacular head rush. If you don’t ejaculate during your entire session, you may come away feeling vibrant and refreshed.


Bisexual: A person who can be sexually attracted to either sex. Your author believes that everyone is somewhere on the bisexual scale. No one is 100 percent straight and no one is 100 percent gay, although some may be so much on one extreme that they don’t recognize any other tendencies in themselves.


Blood Pressure: Sexual activity, including masturbation, momentarily raises blood pressure. The degree to which it might rise can seem alarming. A healthy man can spike pressures of more than 200 over 120, much like the pressures a weight lifter hits. This pressure for a short period of time is no problem at all, and quite common for a man in good health.

However, the long-term effects of masturbation and sex seems to reduce blood pressure, so one could say these activities are good for one’s health. Of course diet, exercise and stress management are more effective in controlling high blood pressure. Speaking of stress management, what better way to reduce stress than sex or masturbation?

Some drugs used recreationally during sex can have alarming effects on blood pressure, poppers and any of the Viagra-like drugs can lower blood pressure sufficiently to cause problems.


Blowjob: The act of entertaining a man by putting his penis in one’s mouth. Some say it is not ‘real’ sex. This thought got former US president Bill Clinton into quite a bit of hot water. To execute a blowjob properly, one needs to be careful to avoid biting the penis. Keep the teeth away as much as possible. Just putting the penis in the mouth is wonderful for most men, but some prefer as much engagement as possible. Others like swirling the tongue over the glans, or building a vacuum in the mouth.

Practitioners who can swallow a penis in its entirety can open the throat, resist the gagging effect, and perform what’s called deep throat blowjobs. Practice makes perfect.


Blue Balls: This name is given to a condition that only some men get, in which the testicles start to ache, generally from expecting an opportunity to ejaculate, and not getting it. Blood congests in the balls. The best relief is to ejaculate.


BME.com: This is a subscription website dedicated to body modification – anything from tattooing to surgical genital modifications. Subscribers will find hundreds or even thousands of photos, stories and videos on their favorite BDSM topics.


Bobbitt, John Wayne: Remember Lorena and John Wayne Bobbitt? They were a lovely couple living in Manassas, Virginia and all was well until June 23, 1993. That night, they made national headlines when she cut the top half of his penis entirely off with a large knife while he was asleep. Still holding the severed penis, she then drove off in her car and tossed it out the window into a nearby field.

You’d think the story would end there, and poor old John would go through the rest of his life having to sit down to pee. But no, she thought it over, and decided it would be a good idea to dial 911, and let them know approximately where she threw his penis. John went to the hospital, and after a while, emergency workers found his penis. During a 9.5 hour operation, doctors managed to reattach it.

Now, it turns out that John might not have been the ideal husband. In court, it was revealed that he was constantly violently abusive in many ways. Major infractions including beating her. Lesser infractions, as revealed in court were stealing money she had earned, and having his orgasms, then quitting before she had hers. All in all, it was decided that she had acted out of temporary insanity brought on by his treatment of her. She was sent to a mental hospital for 45 days of evaluation. He was acquitted of rape. Two years later, they divorced.

John’s debts were through the roof after all the medical and legal expenses. In an attempt to cash in on his fame, he and some musician friends formed a band called The Severed Parts. The band was not financially successful.

He then appeared in a few adult films, leveraging his famous reattached penis, “Frankinpenis.”

In following years, John took a number of unskilled jobs such as bartender, pizza delivery, and tow truck driver. He has been in minor trouble with the law numerous times. According to a Wikipedia article, he was severely injured in a car accident in 2014.

Lorena has remarried and works to bring attention to the issue of domestic violence.

Unfortunately, shortly after this widely publicized crime, it was copied hundreds of times throughout the world, especially in Thailand. Most of the men weren’t as lucky as John Wayne Bobbitt.


Body Electric: Several times I visited a place in Berkeley, California, called Body Electric. They are a school and meeting place for people interested in massage practices. They don’t shy away from what might be called sexual practices including tantric.

They had a men’s gathering on Thursday evenings that would be attended by about 30 to 40 men. We’d be organized in groups of three, each around a portable massage table. Two of the three guys would work on the third, giving him essentially a happy ending massage. The ideal was to not ejaculate, although that did happen. It was not frowned upon, but not encouraged.

After twenty minutes, the action would switch to the next guy, so that after an hour, each person would have had one massage, and given two. As is the case in so many such activities, it was as much fun giving as getting. We all went away from those sessions, feeling particularly charged up. Plus, for many of us who are older, married and frustrated, we had a chance to see and even touch a naked stranger, which can go a long way in relieving sexual tension.


Bondage: A situation in which a person is tied by another. This is usually part of a BDSM scene, but versions can also be done in solo masturbation.

The type of bondage, and what’s done once an individual is tied up, varies considerably. In a light bondage scene, a man might have his wrists and ankles tied with strips of cloth to the corners of a bed, so he is spread-eagled and can’t fight whatever might happen. His friend then tickles his feet, his thighs, his stomach, and eventually works his or her way to his genitals.

On the other extreme, a man may be tied into a sling, and a gag placed in his mouth so he cannot yell, or in the case of RACK, cannot even say a safeword. Then the recipient is milked mercilessly.

Another form of bondage is testicle or penis bondage, in which the genitals are wrapped either light and ceremonially, or perhaps very tightly, with strips of cloth, rope or other materials. Care should be taken not to cut off circulation for too long, and not to damage organs inside the scrotum by overly small diameter materials such as string, and not applying too much pressure.

When a flaccid penis is tied very tightly, it will stay soft even when the man is in an aroused state. If the bondage is half-way along the length of the penis, the tip stays soft while the area behind the binding becomes erect.

If the circulation to the penis has been cut off for several minutes, the tingling sensation when the blood flow is restored can be interesting.

Bound genitals, especially the scrotum, soon turn ‘blue’ or actually a blackish-purple color, as the trapped blood loses its oxygen. This discoloration goes away within a minute of restoring circulation.


Boner: This term is a common euphemism for penis that might make one think there’s an actual bone in a human penis. Of course there isn’t, but our not-so-distant ancestors may have had an actual bone in theirs. Many species of mammals, including apes, do have a bone, called a baculum that protrudes into their penis for more instant erections.


Bonger: A hammer-like device with soft heads that is used to hit testicles. It would take considerable swings to cause pain, so this is a safe, fun device when used within reason. Keep in mind that only some men would like this treatment.


Bottom: A man who is more of a receiver of treatments than giver. This is especially true in BDSM scenarios. The term originated from men who prefer to be the one having a penis in their rectums in anal sex rather than putting their penis in others. The man doing the pushing, is referred to as the top. He frequently lays on top of the other man.

Many men self-assign roles of top or bottom early in life, and tend to stay within their specialty.

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Calories: People who frequently swallow semen need not worry about weight gain. A typical ejaculation contains only around five calories.

Sex burns 400 calories per hour.


Captive Bead Ring: A small ring with a larger diameter ball that is a common form of jewelry used in piercings.


Car: The second most common place that people have sex is in cars. The most common place is in the bedroom, of course.


Castration: Removal of one or both testicles. This concept holds an unlikely fascination for many men. Some actually fantasize about having their testicles removed, and a few have done it voluntarily. Castration can also happen for medical reasons, although it is rare. When a man has had his testicles removed, hormone therapy can allow that man to have an almost entirely normal life. When a testicle has been removed for medical reasons, it is sometimes replaced by a silicone ball of the same size, so the man does not appear abnormal. Removal of one testicle is called hemi-castration.


Catheter Play: If you’ve been catheterized in a medical situation, you may not have any liking for catheter play at all. Your hospital experience may have hurt, especially if the catheter was removed quickly. Many hospital personnel don’t realize what’s happening, sensation-wise, when they apply catheters.

In the not too distant past, nurses and doctors practiced most of their techniques on each other, or people paid to pose as patients, including catheterization. Now, they often use plastic models, and so don’t know exactly what sensations they are invoking in their patients.

Catheter play is an extension of sounding that goes all the way through the prostate, the two urinary sphincters and into the bladder. A catheter is a flexible hollow tube. Once placed, urine can flow through the tube. Some men play with irrigating the bladder. This is very dangerous because the lining of the bladder is not like skin. It has very little protection against infection. The lining of the urethra and bladder are also mechanically weak. They are easily scratched or even punctured.

A medical device known as a retention catheter is a tube within a tube that has a small balloon on the end. Once introduced into the bladder, the balloon can be filled with saline fluid via a syringe on the outside end of the catheter. The catheter is then retained. It will not come out until the balloon is deflated. The catheter can be blocked so urine does not flow until the user (or the user’s master) so desires, or the urine can be let out at any time. The catheter can be worn over a long period of time, but keep in mind that it is not natural and likely to cause trouble to your urethra and bladder if left too long. One problem can be that the lube used to slide the catheter in dries up or is absorbed by the urethra, so removing the catheter will cause too much friction.

If you must play with catheters, you’ll find the feeling as it slides through the prostate and sphincters is exquisite.


Caverject: A brand name for Prostaglandin E1, a prescription drug that can be injected directly into the copora cavernosa of the penis, resulting in a hard, nearly instant erection.


CBT: Cock and Ball Torture – any techniques that cause pain, or seem like they might cause pain to a man’s genitals. This can include hitting or squeezing testicles, squeezing or stretching the penis, glans rubbing, sounding, ass play, bondage, and many other activities. Most CBT is ritualistic, meaning no actual torture is taking place. The participants are just playing with the concept.


CFNM: An acronym for Clothed Female, Naked Male. This is typically a mild BDSM scene in which one or more males are naked in the presence of women wearing clothes. What happens within these scenes is as wide as the imagination. CFNM can refer to a group of men in a public pool with no swimsuits while the women are suited, as was more common in an earlier era. Or, it can mean much more, such as women dressed as nurses, abusing the genitals of naked men. See also CMNM.


Cheating: Men with small testicles have been found to cheat in marriage more than large-balled men.


Children: Boys can have erections from before they are born. They don’t generally have orgasms or ejaculate until adolescence. Most children don’t have much knowledge of or interest in sex until their bodies start to mature. This innocense should probably be maintained as much as is reasonable, because anything that’s psychologically troubling for a child can have effects that last a lifetime.

That’s why our society frowns heavily on pedophilia, sexual interest in children. What may seem like a simple act of kissing or fondling, or even just discussing sexual concepts in the wrong way, can literally damage a child for life. The mental processes that ensue can confuse kids tremendously, resulting in assumptions or conclusions formed in not-fully developed brains that stick in their unconscious minds forever, and destroy their self-confidence, and ability to make rational decisions. For instance, a child who’s body has reacted with a pleasurable response to a sexual act will feel that s/he is to blame, is a horrible person, and must work very hard to keep secrets.


Chordee: A congenital curvature near the glans causing it to point up or down. Sometimes chordee is caused by circumcision. This is best corrected in children between ages of 6 and 18 months.


Cialis: One of the family of Sildenafil drugs, this is proscribed for erectile dysfunction, and is used recreationally to enhance erections. See Viagra for more details.


Circle Jerk: An masturbatory or handjob activity generally involving three or more people, usually, but not necessarily restricted to men. The “circle” concept can be taken quite literally. For instance, men can sit around a campfire, each jerking off the person to his right. But more often, the name doesn’t have much to do with the activity. More commonly, it is a bunch of guys getting together at someone’s house, and jerking each other off, or variations. For instance, one guy may be giving a blowjob to another, who is jerking a guy laying next to him. In another part of the room, a guy is just watching while jerking himself off. Elsewhere, two guys are watching porn while mutually masturbating.

Your author recently attended a circle jerk. The evening was better, way better than I had imagined it could be! This is exactly what happened, with no exaggeration. The only thing is I changed the names, in case anyone would be concerned about being recognized.

I spotted an ad online where a guy was going to organize a circle jerk. Of course I responded, with a degree of excitement. He sent the evening it was to occur and the hotel room where he had reserved a room.

I arrived ten minutes early. Couldn’t help myself. He greeted me at the door naked, with a good, solid hardon. He was quite tall, thin, fit, with still mostly blond hair tied in a ponytail, even though he appeared around 60 years old. He beckoned me in, and sat back down in the chair where he had been casually wanking while watching some porn. He had hooked up his laptop to the big TV in the motel room.

I took off my clothes right away, and laid out on his bed, starting to stroke myself as I watched the porn along with him. It was a big-titted blond woman getting fucked every which way by a good-looking man. Totally typical porn.

I started to get hard, but not entirely. I kind of wanted to get hard right away, but it wasn’t entirely happening. I was relaxed. I knew I’d get hard in time. He, we’ll call him Brian, and I talked. He has been married twice, is now divorced. He drives a truck for a living, and plans to retire in a year. He considers himself mostly hetero, but enjoys circle jerks. He isn’t much interested in getting jerked, oral, or anything else by a man, but has the quirk that he really likes having guys cum on him. On his legs, or his chest and stomach. He says it dates back to his first wife who introduced him to swinging – having sex with other couples. She’ do things like sit on him while they were fucking, and then blow a couple of guys at the same time. When they came, their cum would drip on him, and he found it very appealing. So now, he likes to have guys ejaculate on him. We talked and watched the porn for about ten minutes, when there was a knock on the door. It was a tall, medium built man named Marty, about 50 years old. Brian introduced him to me as his “jerk off buddy.” Evidently, whenever Brian is in town and in the mood, he and Mark place ads online and work out these circle jerks. They weren’t sure who was coming. It might have been just the three of us. And that would be fine by me, but of course the more, the merrier. As is typical with Craigslist, they had around 8 respondents, but quite often, many of them will get cold feet, or fail to show up for one reason or another.

But no worries, there was another knock on the door, and in walked Sam. Another tall, fit guy, but perhaps a bit heavier than any of the three of us. He was well tanned – all over. We got to talking, and Sam said he likes giving head. I told him that whereas I’m mostly a handjob guy, I wouldn’t mind a good blowjob. So, with me laying face up on the bed, and him face down, laying between my legs, he went to work. And he was good. I did start to get fully hard.

I worry about that. Sometimes, with a new person, or in a new setting, it takes me at least a half-hour to relax enough so that I can become fully erect. I suppose it is from a lifetime of trying to suppress erections at nude beaches and such.

As he was sucking on me, another knock, and Brian let in Marvin, a shorter fellow who was also fit, apparantly in his early sixties, and with an academic look. He too disrobed, and he seemed to be more of a voyeur, sitting on a shelf along the window, and just stroking himself while watching Brian stroke himself, and Sam giving me my blowjob. Oh, and the porn on the TV which had switched to a three-way with a woman and two men.

Marvin asked Bruce whether any women were coming. Bruce said no. Marvin said that Marty had said possible a woman might come. Marty interjected that he had indeed invited a woman, but he doubted she’d actually show up. Her name was Lori. It seems both he and Brian knew who she was, and seemed to have had some past sexual experience with her of some sort. Just the thought that a woman could have showed up got me harder, and I had to ask Sam to take a break for a second so I wouldn’t cum. I could easily imagine how cool it would be to have a circle jerk with a woman involved. That thought got me ridiculously horny.

Another knock, and John arrived. He might have been around 70. Bald, tall, and also fit. Oddly, every man there was quite fit. I don’t know why. I would have been fine with someone who may have been flabby or fat or whatever, but even happier that we were such a healthy group.

The evening was going nicely. Sam had moved on to jerking himself. He didn’t need reciprocation from me, even though I offered. John, on the other hand, seemed to like some attention from me, so I started in on him. He stayed soft for a good five minutes and I was worried that he might just not harden up. But after a while, he became very hard indeed. I asked him a couple of times if I should do anything different – I had been alternating between ever so lightly touching his frenulum, then the tip of his dick, then actually stroking him in earnest a bit. He said, ‘no’, that he was just totally enjoying what I was doing.

Then, another knock at the door, and in walked Lori! A real, live woman. And good looking at that. She was only around 40, and although not tall, and rather rounded, you wouldn’t call her fat at all. She was just built a bit on the thick side. Or maybe not. I mean, her ass was small and tight, it’s just that she had big, gorgous boobs, with pretty pink nipples. She had olive skin and long black hair, like a southern Italian model.

Lori started taking off her clothes, and I was suffering from great amazement. Was this woman really going to join in our circle jerk? But no, she stopped removing clothing at a sort of one piece swimsuit like thing. She hugged Brian and Marty, and then kind of sat in Marty’s lap.

We all talked a bit, then she stepped out of her little suit, and was totally naked, just like all of us. But not like us at all. Every time I looked at her, I got electric shocks throughout my body. She had a small, thin patch of black hair on her pussy, and at one point, as she kind of turned over, I got a glimpse of her dark, puckered asshole. This was while Sam had resumed blowing me, and by God, I lost it. I came! I could have prevented that if I had been thinking more clearly. I wanted to tell Sam to stop, but I got confused and called him Brian, and so he didn’t respond, and kept going, so I came. But no problem. The evening was just too good for me to wilt away into nothing, although for a few minutes, I considered going home early, and it did take me a while to get it up again.

Lori started getting more involved. I’m guessing she’s one of those women who are not afraid of sex, even sex with several guys at once. She had Marty and Brian put on condoms. They decided they’d do some double-penetration. It would be a first ever DP experience for both Lori and Brian. Marty never mentioned whether he had done that before.

That whole thing didn’t work out quite as expected. Brian, who had been rock hard the whole evening so far, suddenly went soft after putting on the condom. They were going to fuck normally, with her on top, and then Marty was going to go into her butt from behind. But it took quite a while for Brian to get hard again, and of course that meant he had trouble getting it into her. Finally he did, at least sort of. Marty hung back, and I figured it might be a good idea to help Lori get her ass ready. So, while she was fucking with Brian, I just rubbed my index finger around her butt hole. I was concerned she might not like that. I was preparing to be embarrassed if she told me to stop that. But my attention had an immediate electrifying effect on her. She started bucking, and pressing her butt back, to get my finger to start penetrating into her. So I did just that, pushing it farther and farther in – ever so slowly, while stroking myself with my other hand. My recent ejaculation was forgotten, and I was getting all hard and horny again. Then Marty replaced me, and tried to get in a position to butt fuck her. They couldn’t quite manage a position that worked for the three of them, and so Marty backed off. Then she got off Brian, and Marty took his place, fucking Lori in the ordinary way. No one tried to butt fuck her again, so I pushed my finger back into her butt while she and Marty were going at it, and that sent her into a crashing orgasm.

Later, Brian had said that he felt Marty’s cock in her when he was fucking her, but it turns out what he felt was my finger, since they never quite managed double-penetration. I didn’t have the heart to tell him, because I’m pretty sure he would have been disappointed.

The evening wore on. At various times, pretty much all the guys sucked her tits, ate her pussy, or got a blowjob from Lori. Sam came when she blew him, and because our host Brian had said he likes having cum on his body, he pulled out of her mouth, and squirted some of his sperm on Brian. Shortly after, he dressed and went home.

Now, John and the others had got involved also with Lori and various men were fucking her. She announced that she wanted someone to cum on her tits. I was ready, and so I volunteered. She was having a great time being fucked sideways by John, and I started stroking over her chest. At the same time, suspecting she wanted more butt action, I pushed my finger back into her butt, and she had another crashing orgasm. That sent me over the edge, and so I came on her tits. She then climbed on Brian, spreading my cum onto his chest, which seems to have made his day.

Like all good things, the evening came to an end. We all thanked Brian on our way out. He told us that he was very pleased we came, that he thought it was a very successful evening, and he plans to do it again. He’ll drop us an email the next time he’s coming to town. We also thanked Lori, who turned it around and let us know that she was very, very happy to have been with us.


Circumcision: The removal of foreskin, exposing the head of the penis.
Approximately thirty percent of the world’s men are circumcised. That’s about one billion circumcised men, and 2.5 billion uncircumcised men.

Circumcision has been practiced for thousands of years before anesthesia and before antibiotics, starting with Jewish and Muslim cultures. Fortunately, it worked out most of the time. But not always. Some babies actually died of infection after their circumcisions.

Circumcision took on new life in America in the made 19th century, as ‘modern-thinking’ Americans worked themselves into a panic that the ‘nasty’ habit of masturbation was a totally bad thing, and should be prevented at all costs, even though they themselves did it all the time – and felt terribly guilty about it. It was said that circumcision reduced interest in masturbation, so by all means, cut your baby. Doctors said that babies haven’t yet developed feelings, so cutting off their foreskins didn’t actually hurt them. Screaming and crying during and after the circumcision was obviously evidence of something else. Maybe the baby was bored or something.

Have you ever known an adult man who is frequently grouchy, quiet, or cynical? Your author has a theory that one explanation for this condition is a decision that was made as a baby. You see, psychologists tell us that as very young children we make assumptions about the world, and these can stick in our unconscious minds all our lives. Perhaps the circumcised boy made the assumption that it is a painful, awful world, and has never quite let that notion go.

There is some evidence that circumcision cuts down on STDs, especially HIV among heterosexual men.

Occasionally, a circumcision is botched, and the baby ends up with a deformed penis.

Circumcision as an adult may not always be as comfortable as one might hope. The glans, which has always been covered, and kept moist, is suddenly exposed, being constantly rubbed against underwear, and can be quite annoying for quite a while until the man gets used to the new condition.


Clamps: People into BDSM will often use a variety of clamps in a variety of ways. Some are designed to hold the recipient down so various techniques can be administered that are too intense to take without squirming or trying to get away. More often, clamps are applied to the nipples or genitals. Just about any kind of clamp can be used. Typical ones are clothes pins, spring-loaded gluing clamps, hemostats, and vise-grips.

Among the most intense play is to apply clamps with ever-increasing pressure to one or both testicles. Testicles are tougher than you might think. They have a very rubbery, strong outer layer that can take a lot of squeezing without rupturing. Generally, the recipient will give up due to pain way before any physical harm can be done. However, one should be careful, of course. Repeated play can desensitize the testicles. Another consideration is sharp edges. Not only can a sharp edge hurt the scrotum, it can potentially disrupt the testicle’s covering, causing a rupture. Finally, stay away from the epididymis, the connections on the back side of the testicles, since they can be torn away, ruptured, or compressed in a way that causes liquid-filled cysts to form.

Other popular places to place clamps, and generally less potentially harmful are on the nipples, and the frenulum, as well as on the corona or across the entire glans.


Clitoris: The female clitoris is more penis-like than one might expect.
What one sees on the outside is the tip of the iceberg. There are a couple inches of clitoris, in the shape of a wishbone, inside the body. Just like men, women have corpora cavernosa, the expandable chambers that can fill with blood leading to an erection, in the inner parts of their clitoris. Of course their erections are much less noticeable.


CMNM: An acronym for Clothed Male, Naked Male derived from an earlier acronym – CFNM – Clothed Female, Naked Male. This is typically a mild BDSM scene in which one or more males are naked in the presence of other men wearing clothes. What happens within these scenes is as wide as the imagination. CFNM can refer to men in in a group medical exam with a clothed doctor and assistants. Or, it can mean much more, such as men dressed in leather, abusing the genitals of naked men. See also CFNM.


Cock: A synonym for penis. This is usually considered a crude term.


Cock Ring: A device worn around the base of the penis, usually behind the scrotum. Cock rings can be true rings, typically made of metal or a rubber-like substance. Some are openable or adjustable so they can be worn more tightly, since a solid cock ring has to be fairly large diameter to get past the testicles. Working a solid cock ring on past the testicles can be a frustration or a pleasure depending on the wearer’s state of mind.

A loose cockring can be considered a piece of jewelry. Many are seen at nude beaches and in porn videos. They can have a placebo effect in which the wearer will maintain an erection better than without one.

A tighter cock right will indeed maintain an erection because it prevents blood from flowing back out of the penis. Care should be taken in the tightenss of a cock ring. Too tight, and blood won’t flow into the penis in the first place. Or, with a too-tight ring, the erection may last too long, a self-inflicted version of the disorder known as priapism. A super-tight cock ring can also cause damage to the spermatic cords, testicles or the penis.

Occasionally a man will play with putting a very tight ring on a soft penis, or more commonly, will create a ring by winding behind the scrotum with a length of cord. In this situation, it is possible to have an orgasm without erection. The ejaculate will be prevented from squirting out. This is a dangerous practice because the penis has to be squeezed very tightly.


Corona: The edge at the proximal end of the glans, or what you might call the end of the glans. The corona is more prominent in some men then others. In some, especially circumcised men, it can be very sensitive. A few men enjoy applying small clamps to the corona or piercing it with needles.


Corpora Cavernosa: The hardness of the erect penis is due to two spongy chambers called corpora cavernosa (or if referring to just one of them: corpus cavernosum) that fill with blood. Erections should not be maintained for more than four hours, since the blood in these chambers can become coagulated and then will not drain. However, going soft, and then reinflating periodically can be done for hours on end.


Craigslist: Most people think that if you post on Craigslist in most communities, you won’t get any response, or the respondents will all be weirdos. I have posted several times in a small community, and had good, even remarkable results. Here’s the scoop:

I’ve talked with people who have posted online and had little or no response. I was in a small community of small cities spread wide apart. In that area, the website served 100,000 people, but only around 7,000 who were within a 1/2-hour drive, and that’s as far as I wanted to go. Still, I went ahead and posted, and had guys – and girls – to play with who turned out to be great fun. Later, I moved to a more populous area, and have posted the same ad here, with even better results.

I’m in a business where I have clients, and I have spoken with many of my clients about sexual and masturbatory activity, but I try not to mix business with pleasure, so I advertise online for encounters instead.

I think part of the magic is asking for exactly what you want. That actually brings more responses. Perhaps it is because they realize you are real, sincere, and interested in the same things they are. Since I’m kind of particular, I quickly learned to evolve my ad to it’s current state, shown below. before that, I’d get responses from people who were into cross-dressing, oral, kissing, anal, all the things that are fine for those who like them, but not of interest to me. (I’m probably stuck forever in some sort of adolescent handjob phase, but that’s a topic for another day.)

So, here’s the ad, then I’ll reveal the results I’ve had:

“I’d just be in heaven if someone who can host in [this town] would like me to come over and edge me. For those who don’t know, that means keeping me close to orgasm with a handjob, but torture me by not letting me ejaculate. Or, I can do the same for you. Or we can give each other testicle massages, polishing, or just ordinary handjobs. I’m not into oral, anal, kissing, frotting, etc, however. You be the same. Gotta be discreet.  I’m 62 y/o, 5’9″ hairy but trimmed, 160 lbs, balding, bearded, fit, horny, and of course DD-free. You be DD-free. Dimensions, color, age, do not matter very much. You’ve gotta host. Hope to hear from you soon! The pictures are the equipment you’d be working with.”

Now, you’d think no one would respond to that, right? First, I’m old and unattractive, and then, I’m very specific in my wants.

But, here’s what has happened. I posted it three or four times in the more rural community, then perhaps four more times in the slightly more populous area.

Within a day of each posting, I’ve had anywhere from four to 12 respondents. Some are obvious flakes. For instance, I’ll get a response from someone who wants to butt-fuck. Like, Dude, didn’t you even read the ad?

I hooked up with a fairly wealthy fellow who was an amateur astronomer. After showing me his 10″ reflecting telescope and pictures he’s taken with it, we got down to business, and gave each other wonderful edging handjobs. He also wanted to blow me, which I let him do, and contrary to my norm, I came a second time while in his mouth.

I came to the RV of a man who sounded interesting, and was met at the door by his wife. What was up with that? She greeted me enthusiastically, and ushered me inside. The three of us sat and talked a bit. Turns out he’s not computer-literate, so she posted the ad for him. As we were talking, he stood up, pulled down his pants, revealing a large, totally shaved cock, already rock hard, and sat back down. He and I then retreated to their bedroom, got totally naked, and played while she watched. Being a bit of an exhibitionist, I was delighted to be seen trading handjobs with a guy by his wife. I was hoping she would somehow participate, but it was not to be. A week later, we arranged another meeting, and this time, she did participate. As like the first time, he came way too soon. He then retreated to the living room area, telling us to do whatever we want, it was his gift to her, and proceeded to watch TV. She then took over for him with me. I put my fingers in her vagina and her butt, which she enjoyed very much. She rubbed the top of my dick with the palm of her hand which is something I particularly enjoy. After an hour, she had experienced perhaps 10 orgasms, and I had two. On a third occasion with them, she explained that while the two of them fuck, he is somehow reluctant to do anything else, and he agreed. Too bad, in my opinion. Sometimes, I think masturbatory things are actually superior to outright sex. So, she was absolutely delighted to do all the manual things with me. Unfortunately, they moved out of the area shortly thereafter.

A surprisingly young and good-looking Asian fellow wanted to play. We hooked up, and it turns out he was very good at edging, something usually reserved for older, more experienced men. We met and played several times after that. At one point, he wanted me to squirt my cum into his dick when I was cumming. I’m clean, but let me remind you that exchanging bodily fluids with strangers is really a bad idea in general. Still, I did that. When I was going to blow, I climbed on top of him, and pressed our peeholes together. I didn’t manage to get much sperm into him, most of it leaking out and around our cockheads, but it was fun trying. Perhaps we’ll try that again someday soon.

Another youngish guy, I think in his mid-thirties, corresponded with me, and we hit it off by email. So I went to his place, and found him to be the perfect guy friend. We have the same tastes. We like a variety, sometimes gentle, sometimes rough, but all handjob related stuff. We continue to get together every few weeks. In fact, I haven’t posted my ad in quite a while, because with him, and a few other guys, I have all the action I can handle.

I was initially surprised that most of the guys are younger than I. Some are considerably younger. They tell me they like hairy, gray, older fellows. I think they find something comforting, maybe fatherly in guys my age.

I hooked up with an older fellow who was a little too rough for my tastes. He was also hard of hearing, but didn’t seem to realize it. He had me talking very loud in order to be understood, and I was convinced his neighbors heard every word. Now, I might be a bit of an exhibitionist, at least in principle, but that was too over-the-top for me. Furthermore, as I was starting to cum, he rubbed his palm really, really hard on the top of my dick. It felt like a burning sensation. Some guys might like things at that intensity, but geez! I actually had a sore spot on the head of my penis for three days after that.

I was in correspodence with two guys who both sounded interesting, and so I said to both of them, “How about a three-way?” They were in agreement, and so that happened, and it was great.

I hooked up with a guy who is too gay for me. He tried to get me to kiss, roll around on his bed, and do oral. I didn’t do most of what he wanted, instead treating him to a wonderful handjob. Then I left, saying I had a good time, but have not returned.

Finally, as I was posting my ad one day, I saw someone else’s ad: He was putting together a masturbation party. I jumped on the opportunity, and enjoyed a wonderful get-together with 8 guys.

I’ve never encountered anything dangerous or crazy. I don’t give out my phone number. All correspondence leading up to a visit is by email. I once went to the address given, and it didn’t exist, being between two houses, and obviously not some sort of apartment around back or anything like that. I immediately emailed from my phone, and no response. The next day, I emailed again, and met with radio silence. Oh, I have had a few guys start to correspond with me, and then drop out, never to be heard from again. I figure they must get cold feet, or cold cocks, or something like that.

I have asked for pictures to rule out weirdness. I figure if someone is willing to send pictures of themselves, generally cock shots, they are real and serious about getting together. I might take a bit longer to make decisions in my correspondence than some guys would like, but I want to hear them say things that let me know they aren’t some sort of trap or unbalanced person. When they start talking about edging, or what their wife no longer is willing to do, or their thoughts about blowjobs, I know they are on the level. If you do the same, I’m sure you’ll meet some great guys and enjoy yourselves. As you know, in our modern society it is sometimes difficult for men to make ordinary guy friendsips. I’ve become general friends with two of the guys who started out this way, and it seems we’ll maintain these friendships for years to cum.


Cum Stopper: Penis plug.

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Table of Contents

Decoupling Orgasm From Ejaculation: Separating orgasm and ejaculation is not only possible, but remarkably enjoyable.

Here’s what you do: Bring yourself to the edge, where in another couple of seconds of stimulation you’d ejaculate, then stop. After just a few seconds, start stimulating again, and again stop just before you reach the edge. Most guys think you need to wait a good minute or longer after each time you stop, so that the feeling will fully subside. But the real magic happens when you stop for only a few seconds. Don’t let the pre-orgasmic feeling totally subside.

This becomes super-delightful when you discovering yourself having dry orgasms, several times in a row. Then, optionally, you can blow a big load at the end. Or not. Some guys will purposely not cum, sometimes for days on end. Between sessions, you tend to stay charged up in a good way, as if your senses are heightened, and you have more energy.


Deep Shaft Piercing: A piercing that penetrates all the way through the shaft of a penis. The deep shaft piecing can be placed horizontally, vertically or diagonally. It generally transects the urethra, and is said to give interesting sensations during sexual activity. However, it is a problematic piercing. Most do not turn out successfully, and take a very long time to heal. Considerable bleeding is to be expected, especially with a horizontal deep shaft piercing, which will penetrate the corpora cavernosa. It is said that this piercing should be performed on an erect penis to avoid pinching as the piercing heals. By piercing the corpora cavernosa of an erect penis, the bleeding is even more extreme. Some piercers will cauterize the bleeding by heating the freshly placed barbell to a temperature sufficient to sear the tissues within.


Degloving: A surgical procedure called degloving seems rather gruesome, but tends to work out well. In order to expose the inner workings of the penis, such as in repairing a fracture, the skin must be temporarily moved away. This is done by slitting the skin all around the underside of the glans (the head of the penis). Then it is entirely pulled down, and the connections between the skin and the layers below are carefully carved, so the skin can be pulled down to the base of the penis, like pushing a sock down one’s ankle toward the toes. After completion of the repair, the skin is brought back up, and reattached just behind the head of the penis. Evidently, the connections between the skin and the layers underneath reestablish themselves. Stitches are removed a week later.


Dick: A synonym for penis. This is usually considered a crude term.


Digital Rectal Exam: Or DRE. A test in which a nurse practitioner or doctor inserts a gloved finger through a man’s anus to check for rectal or prostate problems. Most men do not like this procedure, and going in with the notion that it is unpleasant makes it so. A few men look forward to it, and they tend to actually enjoy the attention. Some will become erect during this, or other examination procedures. Medical personnel are used to the occasional man who becomes erect, and generally assure the patient that it is normal.


Dildo: Dildos have been used for at least 30,000 years according to artwork created in the Upper Paleolithic period.

Dildos have been made in a huge variety of materials including thick or solid glass. Many have vibrators built in. Men commonly use dildos in their asses. Occasionally, a man will manage to use a very thin dildo as a sound, driving it into his urethra.


Diphallus: This is the rare condition of being born with two penises. At any given time, approximately 100 men throughout the world are diphallic. The chances of your baby boy being born with two penises are approximately one in 73 million.


Dom: As in dominant. This refers to a scenario in which two participants, typically in BDSM scenes, take roles in which one is dominant, and the other is subdominant. Of course the dominant one gives orders, possibly even making demands, that the “sub” has to carry out.


Double Fisting: This usually refers to a man taking two fists in his ass. This can be done by one who is quite experienced, but requires a lot of lube and time to allow the anus to accommodate such a wide load. Variations of double fisting can be done to women: One is to put one fist in her ass and the other in her pussy. Some women can take two fists in their vagina at the same time.


Dry Orgasm: An orgasm without ejaculation. Medical reasons can cause dry orgasms, such as when the prostate gland has been removed. Children in early adolescence can have dry orgasms before their bodies mature sufficiently to create prostatic fluid.

Dry orgasms most often give you contractions just like a full ejaculatory orgasm, although they mmay be lighter, and fewer in number. Some say the experience is seventy percent as powerful as a full ejaculation. The big advantage that outweighs the lost thirty percent is that you can have orgasm after orgasm, all day long, if you want.

Dry orgasms can also be learned. They are quite enjoyable, because the man frequently does not lose sexual interest after a dry orgasm. Quite a bit of practice is required, however a master practitioner doesn’t need anything to clean up. The masters are so good at dry orgasms that they can be sure not to ejaculate during a session. And these sessions can last for hours, leading to a dozen or more dry orgasms.

Practicing these two techniques will eventually get you to dry orgasms:

1. As soon as you are nearing orgasm, do whatever you can to fully relax your whole body, and especially your PC muscle and stop all stimulation. At first, you’ll ejaculate anyway, but in time, you’ll notice that the contractions can be weaker, and the cum more-or-less just flows out instead of spurting. The amount of fluid will be less, and the best part is that you won’t lose interest. You can cum again a few minutes later.

2. Practice edging, but instead of waiting a minute or more between each time you approach the edge of ejaculation, resume stimulation within just a few seconds. When you finally go over the edge, you may notice that the ejaculation is weaker, and the orgasm lasts longer. In time, you’ll achieve full dry orgasms.


Dydoe: A piercing through the corona the ridge on the head of the penis. This said to be a particularly painful piercing because it goes through a sensitive area. Men must have a sufficiently sized corona for this piercing to heal properly. Since it generally transects the corona in a front to back direction, it can be accompanied by additional dydoes, sometimes nearly surrounding a man’s glans.

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Table of Contents

Edgeplay: A form of BDSM that goes beyond SSC – Safe, Sensible, Consensual play. Examples including minor cutting of the skin, body modification, and asphyxiation play.


Edging: Edging is the practice of arriving at the brink of orgasm but not going over the edge. You can do this several times in a row, prolonging the enjoyment of masturbation. It can also be done with friends, male or female, as a mutual masturbation practice.

Many men play with edging, but most don’t realize there is another level that can be learned, and is even more enjoyable. With practice, one can have mini-orgasms, or even dry orgasms in which little or no ejaculate is released, even though contractions and all the rest that goes with orgasm is experienced. These orgasms are seventy percent as strong as full-on ejaculatory orgasms, but the big advantage is you stay hard, and can continue stimulation right away, having more mini-orgasms, even lasting for hours if you wish.


Ejaculate: I think all men know what this means. What they may not know is that Ron Weasely ejaculated in the Harry Potter book, The Order of the Phoenix. Yes, that phrase is really in there, “Ron ejaculated loudly.” However, the author, J.K, Rowling used it in a less common and entirely different definition of the word, which means to “exclaim suddenly.”


Ejaculation: The speed of ejaculation can be as high 28 miles per hour (45 kilometers per hour). Ejaculation varies with many factors including age, health condition, time of day, diet, and the amount of time since last ejaculation. The color can vary from clear to white, sometimes with a harmless, yellowish tinge. Sometimes a urethral injury or prostatic infection can cause a pink tint. Should that condition happen to you, monitor it carefully. The volume of ejaculation can vary from zero to more than an ounce (28 cubic centimeters).

Ejaculation most often accompanies orgasm, but either can be had without the other. See Decoupling Orgasm and Ejaculation.

The average man ejaculates 7,200 times in a lifetime. A man can typically ejaculate within three minutes of beginning stimulation. Assuming the average ejaculation takes a bit longer, perhaps five minutes, that’s a total of 600 hours of pure pleasure. Or, if you’re an edger, or you and your mate spend a lot of time leading up to ejaculation, that might be more like 8000 hours, or an entire year of 24-hour days.

Another way to look at it is that the typical man ejaculates approximately 53 liters (14 gallons, or 56 quarts) in a lifetime. All this ejaculate will contain about 1.8 trillion sperm. The average ejaculation contains 250 million sperm.


Enlargement: Most techniques to enhance penis size do not work. Be wary of companies that want to sell you something. Surgical procedures can work to some degree. One is to make a cut about an inch (2.5cm) long just above the penis, and then sever a tendon that supports the penis. The penis doesn’t become longer, it just drops out farther forward. Another technique involves degloving the penis, and then wrapping material under the skin. Results are not always when the men who undergo them had hoped.

Some men will fall victim to the very dangerous practice of injecting oil, silicone or other substances into the penis to fatten or lengthen them, or keep them semi-erect. This can potentially cause necrosis of the penis, requiring amputation.

A technique that seems harmless and yet promising for penis enlargement is jelqing.


Electro-Stimulation: Also known as Estim. This is the act of applying electricity to one’s body, typically the genitals. Most practitioners start with a TENS unit, a device made initially for medical electro-stimulation. In medical settings, it can be used to relieve back and joint pain, as well as making dental and other procedures more bearable. The general idea is that electrical current is introduced through the skin. People have discovered that electro-stimulation can have very interesting sexual effects.

Using a TENS unit, two or more pads are usually applied to the skin and an electrical charge of varying voltage and frequency is passed through them. The electricity can also be pulsed at a lower frequency, typically just a few cycles per second.

An electro-stimulation user may place a pad near the tip of the penis, and another at the base of the scrotum. Others will place a pad on either side of the shaft or glans of the penis, or even above the penis on the lower abdomen. Some will insert an electrically charged anal or urethral probe.

The effect can vary widely, depending on many factors including the nature of the electrical signal being applied, and placement of the pads or probes. Usually, it is a tingling sensation. Applied very lightly, in combination with intercourse or a handjob, it can enhance the effect without being noticed in its own right. Or, one can turn the intensity way up, and work very hard to be able to stand the current, often resulting in an almost immediate hands-free ejaculation.

Be very careful about inducing a current where a current shouldn’t go. You could damage your eyes, or brain, or even give yourself a heart attack by accidentally sending a current through your head, neck, or chest.


Enuresis: Bedwetting. This condition happens to as many as one out of five
children after age five. It can also affect adults with various medical or psychological conditions. With children, sometimes their bladders are still small, and so releasing urine in the night is almost inevitable. In other cases, training can sometimes help. One technique is to give large quantities of liquid to children in the early part of the day, and explaining to them to try to hold their urine as long as they reasonably can. Instructing the children to take care of their own cleanup, such as changing their underwear and the bed sheets, can be helpful in getting past bedwetting.


Epididymis: A puffy structure behind each testicle that attaches the blood vessels and spermatic cords. This can be pleasurably lightly squeezed. If you engage in extreme play, be careful about tearing the epididymis away from a testicle, and be careful about overly tight bondage that can cause injury of the epididymis or spermatic cords.


Erectile Dysfunction: This is a common condition in which a man cannot get an erection when wanted. Most men experience this at one time or another, and it can last anywhere from a few minutes to the rest of one’s life. This has two potential causes. One is physical. Perhaps the man has vascular troubles or has had an operation such as a prostectomy that cut the nerves. The other, and more common cause is psychological.

Your author has experienced the second condition several times . In my case, when I’m with someone new, it seems to take me a good half-hour to get it up. The more I want to sport a nice, fun erection, the less likely it is to happen. My theory as to the cause is that I’ve spent most of a lifetime trying not to get erect in ‘inappropriate’ circumstances, such as a prudish nude beach or a YMCA locker room. I’ve become so good at not getting an erection, I have trouble doing so when it turns out to be ‘OK.’

Medical professionals have a nifty trick to find out whether the cause is mental or physical. See Postage Stamps.


Erection: Oh, yes, this is what it is all about! When the penis becomes hard, you’re having an erection. When you become sexually aroused, the penis fills with blood, and you feel an inclination to give it some attention.

An erection almost always requires mental stimulation. If someone were to give any imaginable treatment to your penis during a time that you were distracted, or not sexually aroused, it might not become hard, other than with artificial means such as Caverject or electro-stimulation.

On the other hand, just the thought of something sexual can cause an erection, no physical stimulation needed. As a boy reaches the adolescent years, he’ll tend to have several, uncontrolled erections every day. This can be embarrassing, when, for instance, the child is called to the front of the class to recite or demonstrate something. The boy hunches forward, tries to turn away from the class as much as possible, and hopes no one sees the bulge in his pants.

As the boy ages, the erections become more controllable, and often don’t last as long. However, men well into their 80s and beyond can still have erections.

Something many men don’t realize is that an erection in itself can be an endgame. You can simply enjoy the alive, aroused feeling of having an erection. You don’t necessarily need to go through the routine of stimulation, orgasm and ejaculation to have a great time.

There’s something wonderfully stimulating, and even freeing about simply having an erection in unusual situations. For many men, the first time you have an erection outdoors can be sweet. Feeling the cold breeze on your schlong with your underwear around your knees deep in the woods, or on a secluded stretch of beach is just great.

For some, a bit of exhibitionism adds to the power of an erection. To let other men, or women, see your boner can be a treat, in the right circumstances. Most men are wise enough to avoid going naked along a freeway or in the public library. But the first time with the lights on with your girlfriend, or in a bathhouse, or a masturbation party can positively change your life.

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Fantasy: Because the autonomic system is so involved in arousal and ejaculation, psychology is often important in all forms of sex. Even with your sexual companion, sometimes you have more ‘fun’ when you fantasize as you’re having sex. For instance, your wife may be a great person in all ways, but does not want to try anal sex. You may imagine that you are butt fucking her when you are really just having ordinary intercourse. That may put you over the edge.

Or when masturbating, which is important to most guys, even if in a solid relationship, you could stroke yourself all day and not get hard, unless you let your mind roll with erotic thoughts.

The following is probably a typical masturbation fantasy:

I was zooming along on my Harley, just enjoying a warm afternoon, when at a traffic light, a thin rider on a little Vespa scooter pulled up next to me. I noticed that he, or she, or whatever it was, figuring it was probably a she, had long flowing black hair streaming out from under her helmet. I just love long black hair.

The light turned green, and rather than making a whole bunch of noise and hitting the speed limit as fast as I could, I matched her pace, speeding up slowly, and pretty much staying side-by-side with her.

I got a look at her face, and sure enough, it was a woman. Then I looked at her jacket, and she had formidable breasts. I like that, too.

We rode along for a while, working our way out into the country, when I thought it would be interesting to see what happens if I pull a bit ahead of her, then turn off the side of the road at a little shaded picnic table I know about a couple miles ahead. I did just that, and sure enough, she pulled off too. We turned off our engines, and took off our helmets.

I said something or other, and she answered. She smiled a bit. Evidently, looking at me, she liked what she saw. I certainly liked the look of her. I found her silky voice sexy too.

‘So what next?’ I wondered. I invited her to a party that evening. She accepted! The only problem was, there was no party. I made that up. So, I had to admit that right away, right?

I did. I said that I found her attractive, and just said the first thing that came to mind. I asked whether she’d like to go out for a meal or something. She said, “sure.”

We met in the Applebees parking lot. We went in, had a nice meal, and talked until closing time. We were on the same wavelength in many ways. I invited her over for a drink. She accepted. She accepted easily, in fact!

Well everyone knows what being invited over at that hour for a drink means, and I was sure she was no dummy.

The moment I unlocked the door, she was in my arms, and we were kissing. Moments later, we were tearing each others’ clothes off. Actually, we carefully removed each others’ clothes. All of them! And what a looker she was. I like having the lights on when having sex, and she was all for that.

She noticed my erection, and made a bit of fun of it, claiming it was just too huge to be humanly possible. Of course she was kidding, but I enjoyed the compliments. Next, she leaned forward and took my fully hard penis in her mouth. I was instantly in heaven. As she was doing that, I couldn’t resist, and started holding her beautiful, large, dark-nippled breasts in my hands. They felt wonderful.

I was starting to get close to cumming, but that would be too soon. So, I gently pulled out of her mouth. Meanwhile, she had reached into the drawer next to my bed, and found exactly what she was looking for, and what she no doubt was sure she’d find there. She tore the packet open, and put the rubber in her mouth. She then managed to roll the rubber entirely onto my dick using only her mouth. Nice skill!

We fucked, then we fucked some more. Then we fucked some more.

That was a year ago. We were married in June. We fuck pretty much every day. She particularly likes what she calls ‘positions,’ and keeps a journal which she shares with me. In it, she has carefully described every position we have tried, and has a long list of her ‘research.’ That is, positions she has read about, but that we haven’t tried yet. Our goal, is to try every position ever recorded anywhere, and create new ones. We have to try them all.

So that’s a typical fantasy. Who could resist wanking after making up a story like that?


Fetus: As has been seen in many ultrasounds, the fetus can have erections. Many baby boys sport an erection at the time of birth.


Finger: Whereas fingers are just the ticket for stimulating the penis an all sorts of ways, they can also be applied to the anus. Many women have long known that a fingertip in the urethra can be exciting. More recently, many men have been experimenting with a finger in their urethras.

This is not for everyone. In most cases, even the smallest finger won’t fit well into the peehole. But for those who do enjoy this play, that’s a major part of the fun – the challenge of eventually getting the little finger in the urethra past the first knuckle.

There are three problems associated with this play: One is that it can sting – quite a lot, if you’re the sort of man who tries really hard to accomplish something. With practice, the sting goes away.

The second problem is that you are running a small risk of a urethral infection. To minimize that risk, sterilize your finger, your meatus, and anything you’ll come in contact with using alcohol or hydrogen peroxide. Use lots of sterile, and very slippery lube.

Your author has played with his own little finger from time to time, with pretty much no success. In other words, I never got even the first knuckle in. I did enjoy the efforts, however. I had a friend with typical man-size fingers try it recently, and although I was feeling some sting, I had him press and twist hard. I enjoyed it, but then started bleeding a little bit. My glans was swollen for a couple days after that.

Years ago, I knew a very skinny woman, and we played with her little finger. She pressed and twisted, and yes it did sting, but I was having so much fun, that I barely noticed the sting. Suddenly, after great effort, I felt a sort of pop, and her first knuckle was in. She felt the pop too, and it scared her. So, she immediately pulled her finger out. Ouch, that hurt! So, if you do this, remove the finger, very slowly to avoid additional pain.


Fisting: This is the process of putting an hand into a man’s rectum, or a woman’s rectum, or a woman’s vagina, for that matter. You author knows of one man who particularly enjoys fisting. He seldom gets an erection unless he is being fisted while his penis is being stimulated.

Whereas the anus is capable of taking an entire fist, time and lots of lube is required to stretch it out. Moving too fast can cause injury. So, the first time fisting is done, expectations should be low. You may not get full penetration in the first session. No problem, there’s always next time.

The first stage in fisting is usually just one or two fingers in the anus. Leave them there for a while, so the anus can get used to being stretched a bit, then, after a long while, add the third finger, and if all is OK, fourth, and finally the fifth finger. Both the recipient and the fister will feel the anus start to loosen, and if experienced, they will know when it is time to push on.

For most men, fisting stops at the wrist. But deeper fisting is possible. Some men have been able to accept an arm all the way to the elbow. This is not easy. About 10 inches (25 cm) in, there is a restriction at the top of the rectum, where it bends and becomes the descending colon. Care must be taken to work past this restriction.


Fluffer: An assistant in the pornographic industry who has the job of keeping one or more male actors erect between scenes. This is generally done with blowjobs or handjobs.


Foreplay: Sexual activity before actual intercourse, or before activities that will result in orgasm. Foreplay is usually light stimulation designed to build arousal. Women seem to prefer much more foreplay than men.


Foreskin: The natural loose skin that covers the glans. On an uncircumcised man there is sufficient loose skin to enclose the glans in a tube, at least when the penis is flaccid. When erect, on some uncircumcised men, the foreskin retracts off the glans. On others, it stays over the glans. Some men have very tight foreskins, a condition called phimosis, in which the glans can never be totally uncovered.

Circumcision removes most of the foreskin. What’s left varies with each man, some still have enough to pull over the glans, while others are circumcised very ‘tight,’ leaving only a slightly flexible covering over the shaft of the penis.

There’s no way to tell, but many people believe a circumcised man has less feeling in his penis. Your author is circumcised, and still has plenty of wonderful feeling available, although sometimes he wonders if there could have been even more.

Some men who can pull their foreskins entirely over their glans enjoy playing with pinching the end of the foreskin closed, and then filling it with urine, holding it for a while, and then letting it go in a big splash.


Foreskin Restoration: Men who have been circumcised sometimes feel cheated and want their foreskins back. They can regenerate a reasonable facsimile by performing daily exercises to stretch the skin of their penis.


Fracture: Even though the penis does not contain any bones, it can be fractured. When a fracture happens, the side of one of the corpora cavernosa bursts, resulting in a painful leak of blood, and often a bump, a bend, and sometimes a blue-black coloration. Fractures most frequently happen during particularly exuberant intercourse with the woman on top. She’ll bounce up and down, but on one of the downstrokes, the penis and vagina aren’t aligned quite right, and her full weight is just too much to take. Other sexual activities can cause penile fractures, so be careful of anything that can forcefully bend the erect penis. Some men have been known to fall out of bed with an erection, and end up with a fracture. Approximately 200 Americans per year suffer penile fractures. So, the chances of having it happen to you during the next year are less than one in a million. During an adult lifetime: About one in 27,000. The numbers might be somewhat higher, since not everyone who suffers a penile fracture will report it. Time and rest can heal some fractures. Others require surgical intervention.

Penile fracture is that is often accompanied by an audible, even loud, crack.


Frenulum: Also known as frenum, or more specifically, frenulum preputii penis. This is the little fold of skin on the bottom side of the penis just below or just before the glans. In a survey conducted by urologists in 2009, men rated this the most sensitive part of their bodies.

Stimulating the frenulum can be quite enjoyable. For best results use a finger, the corner of a sheet of toilet paper, or simply a fingertip, touching the frenulum as lightly as possible. For many men, this is a unique experience, and nearly impossible to impart to other men. We often just aren’t that lightweight in our activities. Think of rebuilding a wristwatch or petting a parakeet. That’s the kind of light touch that works best. In fact, you can not stroke the frenulum at all a few times, just stroking the air above it, until you finally lower down sufficiently to just barely touch it. If a man is laying on his back, and his penis is already erect, the super-light touch can actually make it jump an inch in the air. Separate each touch by several seconds, and you can experience the jumping action many times.

This super-light touching of the frenulum is a great place to start with foreplay, since it won’t usually bring orgasm all by itself, yet is totally enjoyable in its own right.

Some circumcised men have had their frenulum removed also. No problem, it isn’t the frenulum itself that is the source of all the sensitivity. It is the whole general area of skin a the underside of the glans, so the sensations remain approximately the same.

Sometimes uncircumcised men have a long enough foreskin that even when hard, the frenulum is buried. No problem, that part of the foreskin over the frenulum is almost equally sensitive.

Another technique that can be particularly enjoyable is pulling of the frenulum. It can be stretched quite a bit. Lifting the penis a couple of inches away from the stomach by the frenulum can be sufficiently attractive to cause some guys to ejaculate with no additional stimulation.

The penis isn’t the location of the only frenulum in the human body. It refers to any bridge of tissue, such as the one under the tongue, and the one behind the middle of the upper lip.


Frenulum Breve: A condition in which the frenulum is too short, pulling the glans downward, and sometimes causing pain during erection or intercourse. A simple surgical procedure repairs this condition. Quite possibly exercises would do the job also.


Frenum ladder: A series of piercings that run along the underside of the penis, starting at the frenulum.

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Gay: Refers to a person who is entirely or mostly interested in people of the same sex only.


Genital Modification: Also known as body modification or mods, this is the art of making changes to one’s genitals. Both men and women participate. For women, common modifications are piercings, removal or trimming of inner labia, and tattoos. For men, modification can take many forms such as beading, enlarging the meatus, changing the scrotum in various ways, and more extreme measures such as splitting the penis into two long half-penises. Most mods are done without anesthesia. There is extreme risk of physical damage and infection. Another risk that many men don’t consider is psychological. Later on, you may really, really, wish you hadn’t done it.

One of the most common genital modifications is usually done gradually. A man will cut his meatus open a bit, and make sure it heals as a wider opening. Then he’ll cut it some more, until it is split all the way down to the frenulum. When the novelty of that wears off, the man continues splitting down the underside of the penis until the urethra is opened all the way down to the scrotum.


Gooning: The act of looking or staring at one’s own penis, typically while masturbating.


Growers and Showers: There are two types of men, some of whom have large flaccid penises that don’t get much bigger when erect, and the others who are small when flaccid, but grow considerably. By looking at a man in a flaccid state, you cannot determine how big his penis will be when erect. However, if you stretch it out as far as it will go, that’s a fairly good indicator of full erect length.


Group Sex: According to a survey, seventy percent of Americans admit to an interest in group sex, and 35 percent have participated in group sex.


Guiche: a piercing in the perineal area, behind the scrotum and ahead of the anus. A guiche ladder is a series of guiche piercings in a row along the line from penis to anus.

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Hafada: A piercing that is placed anywhere on the scrotum.



Handjob: The act of rubbing a guy’s penis until he ejaculates using your fingers or hands. Handjobs can be administered by men or women, and are a popular form of mutual masturbation. One reason for their popularity is that they are probably the safest sex that two or more people can engage in.


Hands-Free Orgasm: Sometimes referred to as HFO, this is exactly as it sounds – having an orgasm when the penis is not being touched by hands. The most common variation is to stimulate the penis to the point of orgasm, then take the hand away. A more rare version is to have an orgasm when the penis hasn’t been touched. Sometimes, a man can work himself up to an orgasm just psychologically. Some men will have a hands-free orgasm when they are experiencing nipple or anal play, or testicle massage.


Happy Ending: This refers to a general massage in which the practitioner finishes up with attention given to the penis, a handjob, until the client ejaculates.

Here’s a happy ending story from a client that you might enjoy:

Our coach said if we won the Regionals, he’d have a surprise for us. We won, and he came through on his end of the bargain. We were to each get a personal massage. I wasn’t sure I wanted that. The whole idea was kind of embarrassing. I mean, to have a stranger touching your body? But, I figured I’d go ahead with it. I didn’t want to turn down the coach’s gift. Plus, the other guys seemed to want it, and I didn’t want to stick out as a sore thumb or something.

So, Tuesday afternoon rolled along and I was to be the third guy in line at 5pm. The massage guy was probably around 50 years old, balding, a bit chubby, but seemed cheerful enough. He had set up some sort of portable bed – he called it a “massage table” in the locker room and was doing the two guys before me in there.

I didn’t hang around, figuring I’d get some homework done in an empty classroom before my 5pm appointment.

When I finally arrived, the massage guy was gone. The coach explained the guy wasn’t feeling well and rescheduled me and two other guys for Thursday afternoon. I was to be the first on Thursday, right after my last class, at 3pm. I was unclear as to how I felt about that. On the one hand, I had escaped the Tuesday session, so I wouldn’t have to deal with that at least until Thursday. On the other hand, I was kind of disappointed to have to wait. I didn’t really know what a massage was, but it was supposed to be something nice. A treat. A reward.

So finally, Thursday came, and I showed up for my appointment in the locker room. Two of my teammates were there. They said they’d just hang around until it was their turn. That was fine by me, or so I thought at the time.

So the massage guy, his name was John, told me to strip off everything and get under a sheet he had put on his portable bed thing. No big deal, I had taken many showers with the two guys, so I didn’t mind getting naked in front of them. Plus it was only for a moment until I got on his bed thing.

He had me lay face down, and started massaging my shoulders and the back of my next. Hey, it wasn’t bad! I was a bit weirded out for a second about a guy touching me like that, but it turned out to be a nice feeling. He proceeded to work on my legs, arms, back and my butt. For the butt, he had removed the sheet.

Suddenly, I realized my prick had gotten hard against the bed. Geez! Well, it was well hidden under my body. The guy was now kind of stretching my ass cheeks apart with some oily strokes of his fingers, and my penis was becoming super hard, and a bit uncomfortable under my belly. On the other hand, I was really enjoying the butt spreading thing. I mean, here I was, and a fat, 50-year-old guy was stroking my ass, and I was getting horny! The thought scared me a bit, but I think the thought also added to the horniness. A couple of times, his fingertips brushed against the back of my scrotum. I do believe he did that intentionally, but I didn’t care. No, let me rephrase that: I loved the tickling sensation.

John hadn’t said much. In fact the whole room was quiet. The other two guys and the coach all had their heads in their phones, reading ebooks, texting, or something. Then John asked a weird question: Would I like a “happy ending?”

I didn’t know what that meant, but it sounded like some sort of massage thing I’d probably enjoy. “Happy ending” sounds like it would be something nice, right? I said, “Sure.”

John asked me to roll over. ‘Oh, geez,’ I was thinking. The guys, the coach, and John were going to see my woodie. Not good! Not good! So I kind of froze. John said “Roll over” just a bit louder, and started to push against my shoulder and lower back, starting me in a rolling over motion. So what could I do?

I went with it, and ended up with my prick sticking up straight in the air. Interestingly, the coach and the other two guys had stopped looking at their phones. Now, they were staring at me – at my face, and at my penis! And they were kind of smiling. I decided not to care. After all, what could I do, exactly?

So, John continued with his treatment. He started ever so lightly tickling my scrotum. No one has ever done that to me. In fact, never in my life have I ever been touched there by anyone other than a five-second exam by a doctor every year. I must say, it felt fantastic! In his tickling, he started working his way slowly up the base of my prick, until he was ever so gently rubbing his thumb over that part of my penis just below the head. The portion of skin that is a kind of folder under the head. I was rock hard, of course, and just about ready to cum. But then John stopped. He must have known. After a minute, he resumed with the very light touching. He touched all over the head of my prick. Then, he started ever so slightly moving the skin on the sides of my prick up and down, just like I do when I masturbate, but slower, and with gentler strokes. That’s all I took, I blew a load all over my stomach. To my surprise, I shot quite hard, with one spurt hitting me in the chin and across my mouth.

The two guys kind of cheered, and the coach smiled. John told me there were five minutes left in my hour, and that I should just lay still, only getting off his tall bed thing when I was ready.

It did take me a few minutes to compose myself. Then, I was thinking on what I had missed out on. The other day, I could have stayed in the locker room and seen my first two teammates get their massages. In retrospect, I wouldn’t have missed that for the world. Well, at least, I could stay and see the next two guys get their appointments.

Which I did, and enjoyed watching almost as much as I enjoyed getting the treatment. Both of them also elected for the ‘happy ending.’ (I was worried that they may not.)

So anyway, after that day, we never had a massage from John again. It was a one-off thing. But several of us guys talked about the massages, and started giving them to each other. The coach had found an old beat-up massage table somewhere, and it has become a permanent fixture in the locker room. So far, the coach has been invited several times to get a happy ending massage from us, but has declined every time. He says it would be inappropriate. Personally, I don’t think so, but whatever. For some reason, I keep fantasizing about being the guy who gives the coach his first happy ending.


Hardcore: This term has several meanings. The most typical are:

Gay, anal intercourse.

Very rough sexual play.

Conventional pornography.


Hanging: Men have been known to have erections when hanged.


Health: A minimum of weekly sexual activity can have a strong impact on mens’ health, reducing stroke, heart attacks and diabetes from 30 to 50 percent.


Hermaphrodite: When a rare individual has ambiguous sexual organs, that person has hermaphroditism. Typically, the adult breast size is small, but not non-existent, and there is more body hair than a typical female would have, yet less than a man. The other most noticeable difference is that the person who might most often be assumed to be female, has a clitoris that is particularly large. The clitoris can have an erection, sticking more than an inch out of the body, yet there are also internal and external labia. The large, erect clitoris can be stimulated to orgasm by rubbing the sides, but ejaculation in the typical sense does not occur.

Often, hermaphrodite babies are ‘corrected’ at birth, being surgically altered to look like one sex or the other. They sometimes have difficulties as they come into maturity, becoming quite dissatisfied with the gender assignment they received.


Heterosexual: Sometimes abbreviated to hetero. This refers to a person or activity that primarily or exclusively involves only people of the opposite sex.


Hitachi Wand: This is a powerful vibrator, used more by women than men, but can be quite delightful when held against the underside of the glans, the base of the penis just ahead of the anus, and directly on the scrotum. Attachments for the Hitachi wand include an anal insert, and a sleeve that fits over the penis.


Housework: Is it worth it? Men who help with housework have sex more often than those who don’t.


Hypospadias: This is a congenital condition in which the urethra does not extend to the tip of the penis. In distal hypospadias, the opening of the urethra is near the glans, on the underside of the penis. In proximal hypospadias, the opening can be in the scrotum. Surgical correction on newborns usually fixes the problem. Many men have minor distal hypospadias, and some don’t even realize their penises are abnormal. They think having their meatus just below the glans is the way it is supposed to be.

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Implants: In the early part of the 20th century, doctors assumed implanting testicles from various animals might help men who were suffering from erectile dysfunction. They used gonads from goats, sheep, pigs, baboons and chimpanzees. The procedure completely didn’t work, and the foreign material was simply absorbed by the body, but it didn’t stop thousands of men from asking for the procedure.


Infidelity: Your author believes infidelity can be damaging to a marriage and should be avoided unless the wife is aware of and on board with it. As to bisexual experimentation, I think the ideal solution would be for the men to be open with their wives about it. But in our society, that’s still difficult. Solo masturbation, and lots of it, is probably the best solution. These activities, especially the solo versions, are the safest. There’s no chance of catching any sort of disease if one only plays with oneself. And there’s lots of enjoyable playing to be done, as you’ll discover in this very book.


Injaculation: An ejaculation that is forced backward, so instead of squirting out the urethra, it is blocked. Depending on where and how it is blocked, the cum might flow past the sphincter valves and into the bladder. The next urination is typically cloudy, and sometimes has clumps of semen. The ejaculation doesn’t always make it into the bladder. It may simply be retained in the prostate area, and is eventually absorbed by the body.

Points for blocking, to cause an injaculation are:

1. At the tip of the penis. Pinching this closed during ejaculation does reduce the mess that would otherwise be created, but is not a real injaculation, because the semen remains in the distal portion of the urethra until released.

2. Between the anus and the base of the scrotum. This requires fairly firm pressure with one or two fingers, and they must be directly over the urethra. This interesting effect will cause a true injaculation.

3. Near the base of the penis, just past the scrotum. This is a cross between true injaculation and pinching the glans, generally resulting in the semen flowing out as soon as the pressure is relieved.

4. Psychological/physiological: It is possible to resist an ejaculation, but for most men it is very difficult. A tantric practice called the big draw can be effective.

The medical profession is divided on support of injaculation. Some say it is dangerous possibly causing symptoms, although most never quite say what those symptoms would be. Others will tell you that they, or others, have been practicing it for thousands of years without ill effect.

Injaculation has been used a low-reliability version of birth control.


Intactivist: A person opposed to circumcision.


Intercourse: Most often, this means fairly conventional sex between a man and a woman, but it can also mean placing a penis in a man’s anus.

Many men enjoy ordinary intercourse, and can have sex with their girlfriends or wives three times a week for years. Others are more experimental, and break out of the ordinary intercourse routine. Intercourse usually follows a period of foreplay during which sexual arousal is built up to the point where orgasms are more likely. In general, but by no means the rule, women come to orgasms later than men in intercourse. The ideal man will learn to hold his ejaculation until she is orgasming, resulting in a simultaneous orgasm. Second-best is for the man to have his ejaculation after his mate, or to be satisfied without an ejaculation at all.


Ithyphallophobia: The fear of erections – thinking of, seeing or having them.

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Jelqing: One weirdly-spelled technique that seems promising for penis enlargement, and is also harmless, has the odd name of jelquing. This is an exercise in which a man wraps thumb and first finger around the base of the semi-erect penis, and pulls forward, repeatedly forcing the fluid in the penis toward the glans. Even if it doesn’t eventually enhance the penis, it no doubt feels rather enjoyable.


Jerking Off: A common colloquial term for masturbation. This is the safest form of sex there is. You won’t catch a disease, you don’t have to associate with someone you may not like (just to have sex), and you can do it on your own schedule. Jerking off is underrated. In fact, it is still stigmatized in our society. Some people think it is somehow dirty, or against their religion, while others feel it is something only for people who can’t get ‘real’ sex.

In fact, studies have shown that married men jerk off more often than single men.

Your author believes the day will come when you can stroll along any beach, sit at a bus stop, or watch TV with your friends, and you may see someone jerking off with no concerns in the world about being seen by someone else. In fact, you may do it yourself.


Jizz: Another name for ejaculate or cum.


Judeo-Christian Religion: It seems much of our modern religious culture disdains sex. It wasn’t always that way. Many ancient religions held sex in the highest regard, celebrated sex, and saw it as being God-like.

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Kegel Exercises: A series of exercises more commonly done by women, but thought to have some value in maintaining an erection, avoiding premature ejaculation, and urinary incontinence. These affect the PC muscle. They should be performed at least twice a day for several minutes each time. The general idea is that you squeeze your anus and everything in that area as hard as you can for several seconds, then release, several times in a row. If you are erect at the time, you may see your penis move slightly. Try to exaggerate that movement as much as you can.


Kellog’s Corn Flakes: This food was invented as a way to stop children from masturbating. The theory must have not been quite right, because although a lot of corn flakes were sold, the kids kept doing what kids will do.


Kitty Penis: The penis of a cat has barbs. When having intercourse with a female cat, this scratches her vaginal canal, which triggers ovulation.

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Leather: For many participants in sexual activity, costuming is very important, and leather often is part of that costuming. It generally implies a male-oriented, usually gay scene among males, but can also be worn by women, especially if they are playing a dominant role. Leather accessories include jackets, pants, collars, hats and sometimes implements such as whips. ‘Leather’ has taken on a meaning beyond the material. It can also refer to the gay BDSM scene in general.


Length: The visible portion of an erect penis averages 5.56″ (14 cm) according to a survey of over 1,600 men as reported in the Journal of Sexual Health in 2013. When your friend says his penis is 7.5″ long, he’s probably lying, unless he’s including the portion of the penis inside his body. In that case, his 7.5″ penis is a little shorty. Half of the length of the penis is buried inside. The sphincters leading into the bladder are 12 to 14 inches (30 to 35 cm) away from the tip.


Lisa Sparxx: This porn star set a new record in 2004 by fucking 919 men in one 24-hour period.


Love: Scientists studied sex and love, and found out that the best sex, with the strongest orgasms happen when you are in love with your sexual partner. No surprise there, eh?

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A recent study discovered that married men masturbate more than single men.


Masochism: The concept of inflicting pain or humiliation on oneself. In sexual contexts, this can include such activities, as asking or allowing a master to hurt or embarrass you, or activities such as painful testicle squeezing, or even uncomfortable activities such as purposely not ejaculating when you want to.


Master: in many BDSM scenes, the participants take on roles of “master” and “slave.” The slave must do as the master says, and is often treated ‘badly’ by the master. This is consensual. Among couples the scenario is often maintained in daily life, at least at times, such as when attending parties.


Masturbate-A-Thon: Here is an eyewitness account from your author.

Once a year, the Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco hosts a big party in which more than a hundred men and women, mostly strangers, of all ages and from all walks of life, come together, get naked and masturbate. One year, I attended. The sexual energy in the room was super-high, yet it was the safest group sex imaginable. It was without a doubt the best party I’ve ever attended. I’ll tell you all about it – the people who were there, what they said, what they did, even down to the ways they actually masturbated. Some were quite unique!

You might like to know how such a party came about. So, let’s start with the history of the Masturbate-A-Thon.

Back in 1994, U.S. Attorney General Dr. Joycelin Elders was asked at a United Nations conference on AIDS whether it would be appropriate to promote masturbation as a means of preventing young people from engaging in riskier forms of sexual activity. She said, “I think that it is part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught.”

That’s all. Seeming innocuous, right? Well, many people got all in a twist about that, including President Clinton, who promptly fired her. To be fair, she had made other slightly controversial statements in the past. The administration must have felt that talking about masturbation in any way, shape or form made her a loose cannon.

So now, she’s a professor of pediatrics, and most of the modern world continues to teach only very limited abstinence-only sex education, never giving young people the whole picture. And that’s even in light of the many studies that have proven time and again that abstinence-only is not working.

People will be sexual in one form or another. Doesn’t it make sense then, to de-stigmatize masturbation? If people can be taught that it is OK, it would certainly cut down on riskier sexual behavior. Don’t you think?

Meanwhile, Dr. Elders accepts occasional speaking engagements about how our country, in fact the whole world, needs more well-rounded sex education.

When you think about it, she’s right, isn’t she? Isn’t masturbation a pretty good solution to many problems?

First, if people could be allowed to feel that masturbation is OK, then they might be able to relieve their sexual tensions, resulting in everything from less awkward social conversations (because we all get weird when we’re too horny), to reduction of unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

Fortunately, we are already in an age where masturbation has become a bit more mainstream. In the past, even though almost everyone engaged in it, we were all ashamed and quite often feeling guilty. To cover these emotions, many people would perpetuate the myth that masturbation is somehow a ‘bad’ thing.

For the longest time, if you were to ask practically anyone whether they engaged in masturbation, they’d universally answer “No!” even though they secretly masturbated all the time.

They punished their kids for masturbating, sometimes severely.

Some babies had their arms tied in cardboard carpet tubes so they wouldn’t touch their own genitals. You’ve probably heard that Kellogg’s Corn Flakes was invented as a food that was supposed to reduce children’s interest in masturbation.

And yet, masturbation sessions eliminate social tension and unwanted pregnancies. Go figure! Furthermore, masturbation makes real sex, when it does occur, better. People know more about themselves. What feels good, what they want. And they learn to prevent premature ejaculation.

If that isn’t enough, a study done in 2003 indicates that men who masturbate several times a week have a lower incidence of prostate cancer.

Although your author can’t prove it, I believe masturbation also increases vitality and mental clarity.

But many people, maybe even most people, still feel guilty about it. Crazy stuff!

About a year after the US Surgeon General got canned, the the San Francisco-based nonprofit Center for Sex and Culture declared May as Masturbation Month, partly in response to what happened to Dr. Elders for speaking out about it.

Nothing much happened that year. A bit of publicity. A bit of smirking news coverage. But it set some quiet wheels in motion. In the next couple of years, the Center for Sex and Culture received more funding, and started having events – classes, workshops and parties celebrating positive sexuality. The primary goal: Let people get a balanced and educated knowledge of good sexuality, not the half-knowledge that exists in much of the world today.

Over the next few years, the Center’s range of activities grew. One year someone mentioned, “Wouldn’t it be something if there was a ‘masturbate-a-thon’ just like there are walk-a-thons?” The thread quickly became a major topic among some erudite individuals including Dr. Carol Queen, and Dr. Richard Lawrence. They are psychologists who specialize in sexual study and education.

We don’t know exactly how the idea evolved in the offices of the Center for Sex and Culture, but it probably went something like this:

“Just like a walk-a-thon, people could have their friends, family and co-workers sign pledge forms. Except, instead of paying a certain amount per mile, it could be per orgasm.”

“Or, per minute.”

“Oh, right, that would be much easier to monitor.”

“Or, they could just pledge a flat rate.”

“Sure, that could work, too.”

“Imagine the positive publicity.” In the process of getting people to pledge, our volunteers would be bringing the topic of masturbation out in the open. They’d be legitimizing something that has been badly and inappropriately stigmatized for so long.”

“Now, you’re preaching to the choir.”

“Yes, but you see what I mean, right? This would be an excellent grass roots way to spread the word. To start meaningful conversations about masturbation.”

“For sure.”

“So, how would this work, exactly?”

“Well, hmm. I suppose we could pick a date. Like May 25. Everyone gets pledges until that day. Then they go home, wank, tell their plegees what they accomplished (laughs), collect the money, and mail it to us.”

“Yah, like who’s going to do that? I mean, sure they may talk about it, the people may pledge, and the people will go home and masturbate, but then what? Do you think we’ll actually get some money?”

“Even if we didn’t get a penny, we’d be doing a lot to spread the message that masturbation isn’t a ‘bad’ thing, but actually a ‘good’ thing.

“Hey, I’ve got an idea. We have this building, and for that matter, we can rent bigger buildings.”

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Right, we hold an actual public event. People could come to a party-like event on May 25th or whatever, and we all jerk off together. A bunch of strangers in the room, wanking. What publicity that would bring! And what a positive event for those who have always wanted to masturbate among others in a safe environment.”

“We could do that, but do we dare?”

“People are becoming more enlightened, but would the public be ready for this?”

“Well, I’m thinking that all of San Francisco wouldn’t participate, at least not the first year. But certainly some people would.”

“I’m thinking, what if we combine both ideas? Everyone can get pledges. Some can wank at home. That would be the people who are just to shy to jerk off in public. But those with more exhibitionist tendencies could come to our group meeting.”

“What about entertainment? Celebrities? I know Nina Hartley. She was a huge porn star about 20 years ago. Now she’s authoring sex-positive books. I’ll bet she’d come to this. Maybe even be a headliner. Maybe even help with promotion.”

“Cool.”

“Maybe we could get some pole dancers.”

“And a live rock band or jazz band or two.”

“Geez, imagine the publicity we could get!”

“Hey, and we could hold competitions. Like who can last the longest.”

“And which man can shoot the farthest.”

“And who can have the most orgasms.”

“Don’t you think that the number of orgasms would hard to monitor?”

“Who cares? There would have to be parts of this whole thing in which we trust people. Especially whether the people who pledge would actually pay. So I say, let’s just trust people.”

“People will love a public space that validates masturbation.”

“What way to de-stigmatize self-love!”

Well, as you can imagine, the conversation continued. The board of directors became emboldened, and finally, they unanimously voted to hold the first ever Masturbate-A-Thon on May 21, 2000.

A website announcing the event was created. Fliers were created and distributed in a few places. Local media were sent press releases.

And the Masturbate-A-Thon became real. It was to be, “a comfortable and good-humored event.” It did happen. And it went on every May for a few years and no doubt improved with age.

One day seven years after the original Masturbate-A-Thon, your author, who lived only 30 miles away at the time, saw a link to the Masturbate-A-Thon website from a San Francisco Weekly article that said, in part:

“The Masturbate-a-thon [is] a sort of utopia, in which the sexual energy in the room builds, and the different masturbators inspire and arouse each other, and nobody’s touching and yet everyone is there, together, surfing the orgasm wave.”

I couldn’t believe my eyes. This was exactly in line with my vague dreams that people ought to be able to masturbate together if they want. And so on May 20, 2007, I went on down to San Francisco.

Whoa, back up a second! The story starts a bit before May 20, 2007 for me. The day I found out, I downloaded and printed out a pledge form. Now, I didn’t have to get pledges, but I wanted to. You see, according to what I read at the website, I could have simply paid $40 as a flat pledge for myself at the door.

But that felt like cheating, and it sidestepped the purpose. Remember, the real purpose of the Masturbate-A-Thon was to bring public awareness of the positive aspects of masturbation. And by getting pledges, that’s exactly what would happen.

The first two pledges were easy. I signed up a guy who I had wanked with a time or two. I signed up a female co-worker with whom I had a very good conversational relationship. She and I had talked about masturbation in various contexts before. My guy friend was willing to pledge $0.05 per minute, and she came in with a whopping $0.10. It doesn’t sound like much, but I figured I might be able to jerk off non-stop for an hour or more. OK, so it still doesn’t sound like much, and it wasn’t.

Then it got a little harder. Imagine telling some of your more conservative friends that you’re going to go to a public venue, jerk off, and you want them to pay for it! To say I was nervous about bringing it up would be a big understatement. In fact, I delayed for a few days.

Then one evening, about six friends and I had been throwing a Frisbee around in the park, and as darkness overtook us, we sat down on the lawn and started talking about various things, as we did every reasonably warm Wednesday evening. We were laughing, having a good time, and someone made a typical little joke about jerking off. Bang! That was my cue. I unfolded the pledge form from my pocket, and started my pitch.

“How much would someone have to pay you to masturbate in public?”

Dead silence.

“Really! Let me explain why I asked.”

At that point I explained the Masturbate-A-Thon, starting with the Center for Sex and Culture, and what they do for a positive sexual attitude. My little group agreed that was good. Then I just told them about the Masturbate-A-Thon, as if it would be something that some people would do (not me of course). But then I dropped the bomb. I simply said, “I’m going,” and passed around my pledge sheet.

Guess what? Every one of my six friends signed it. The somewhat wealthy fellow in the group offered $0.25 per minute.

The gathering of pledges had the desired side-effect. Franklin, a thin man with a British accent, and the most gregarious among us, admitted to masturbating frequently. He also volunteered that he is bisexual. That opened the discussion about masturbation, especially the benefits of masturbation, which carried on a good fifteen minutes.

Then, I offered to give some of them a ride to the Masturbate-A-Thon. We could carpool. That was my round-about way of trying to get some of them to come along. A couple of my friends said “no way” right away. The remaining four said they’d think about it. As May 21 approached, however, no one was willing to come along.

But I was 100 percent gung-ho. Couldn’t wait!

You might like to know a bit more about me. I don’t usually like parties. I’m not one for getting drunk, and trying to converse over loud music. No thank you. But this was a party I had to attend, and I was pretty sure it wasn’t going to be a bunch of drunks talking too loud. In fact, alcohol wasn’t allowed.

Back in 2007, I was just a bit over 50 years old, maybe ten or twelve pounds overweight, but quite fit overall, medium height, male, white, bearded, and balding on top. Nothing much to look at, to be sure.

I’ve always liked to be on time or a little bit early for events. But this was a great big deal for me. Plus, it was an hour away, with traffic and all. For some reason, I couldn’t help myself. I arrived a full hour early. Got my car parked, and knocked on the door at the address provided. It was an unmarked warehouse. I wasn’t quite sure I had the right building. I was looking for a sign that said “Center for Sex and Culture,” or maybe at least a paper flier announcing the Masturbate-A-Thon. But this was just a small gray metal door on a three-story dark brick building.

So I knocked, not knowing what would happen, especially with me being early. I heard someone running down stairs inside, and shortly, the door opened. I was greeted by a twenty-something thin woman with long frizzy black hair, dressed like a hippie from the summer of love in Haight-Ashbury in 1967.

Being not quite sure I had the right address, I sheepishly asked whether this was the place for the Masturbate-A-Thon, while furiously trying to figure out how I would backpedal from that, if I did have the wrong address. But she said it was. Whew! She said, “But it doesn’t start until 4pm.”

“I know. I though maybe you could use a volunteer.”

“Hmm, let me check.”

She closed the door, and I stood there on the blazing hot sidewalk for probably three whole minutes until she returned. She said, “Welcome, come on up!”

I had absolutely no idea what to expect. She and I went through a brief industrial-like hallway with no decorations, and bland beige paint. We went up what seemed a rather long staircase. Maybe it was just seemed long because I was nervous. At the top was a typical converted warehouse. There were walls dividing some of the huge area into sections. Our stairs led us to a small foyer of sorts, containing a desk made out of a portable table and a few chairs. From there, led open doorways. Next to some of the doors were paper signs. One said “Masturbatorium.” Another said “Press Room.” Yet another said “Coat Check.” Most of the doorways didn’t have doors or the doors were propped fully open. The door to the coat check room was a Dutch door, with the bottom half closed. The top surface of the bottom half of the door had been made in to a narrow tabletop. I was to discover more about that soon enough.

No one was at the desk. In fact, no one was in the foyer except the dark-haired young woman, who saw me pause to look around. She beckoned me into the masturbatorium. That was a large room, perhaps 3,000 square feet, larger than a typical 7-11 convenience store. There were a couple of homemade walls partitioning off some small rooms in the corner. There was a wide variety of easy chairs, sofas, and large cushions on the floor, all of which looked like they were ‘rescues.’ None of them were torn or badly stained, but you could see they were old and well-used.

The room smelled like a typical old warehouse, vaguely reminiscent of sawdust. There was an assortment of lighting in the room, and I do mean ‘assortment.’ While the overall lighting was subdued, there was a wide variety of ceiling fixtures, floor lamps, and table lamps strewn about, plus some Christmas lights and reflector balls strung up here and there. There were a number of posters on the walls, most suggestively but not overtly sexual. I noticed that all the windows had been covered with cardboard or thin plywood or something, painted to match the gray walls on the inside.

It took a few minutes for my eyes to adjust to the lower light, having come in from a rare sunny San Francisco afternoon. After my eyes adjusted to the lower light, and I noticed the furniture, next I noticed the people. There were about eight people in the room. One woman was scurrying across the large room with a handcart stacked with cases of soda. Another was pulling a hundred bed sheets out of a half-dozen big wicker baskets. A guy who looked sort of like me was running some sort of thing that looked like an oversized carpet sweeper across the wooden floor. When he came to the various shag and oval carpets strewn about, he just went right over them. Being one who is fascinated by mechanical things of all sorts, I’d have to check that machine out later. I’d never seen anything quite like it. But what really caught my eye was two guys with a ladder. The somewhat overweight youngish white fellow on the floor was wearing a toolbelt bristling with pliers, screwdrivers and such things over his bluejeans. He was handing the end of a wire up to the guy on the ladder. The guy on the ladder was quite black. I’d guess he had 100% African ancestry. He appeared to be about 40 years old, had short black hair and looked quite fit – like someone who really works for a living. Oh, and one other thing. He was not circumcised. How did I know that? Because he was stark naked, and sporting an erection!

I didn’t notice that a guy had come up behind me. He yelled, “Robert!” I jumped about six inches in the air!

Robert Lawrence came out of a side room. He was tall but not overly tall, appeared to be in his late 50s, had short hair and was wearing nothing but a bathrobe.

The volunteer next to me said, “Robert, we have a new volunteer. What would you like him to do?”

I introduced myself. Somehow, I felt like I was in the presence of a movie star. I had heard of Robert Lawrence, now here he was talking to me in the flesh. He was a bit brusque, or harried, or hurried. Of course, I could understand. It was less than an hour to ‘showtime.’ After a super-quick introduction, he called over the guy pushing the floor sweeper, and had me take over the task. I was actually delighted, since I kind of wanted to play with that machine. The volunteer explained that the floor had to be scrupulously clean, since a lot of barefoot people would be walking around shortly. So I started pushing the machine across the room. It had wheels that turned brushes in front and on the sides. Fun!

Upon completing that task, I was assigned to help out Keith. Keith was the guy who had been on the ladder. He was still on the ladder, but in a different location. He was stringing microphone cables for the video crew. His helper had left, so I was his new floor man. Keith introduced himself with a flourish. He was instantly likable. We got done with a couple of cables, then he had to string some extension cords for lights.

I couldn’t just work with a fellow with a big erection without saying something, so I said, “Great erection!” He smiled. I was expecting some sort of explanation or dissembling or something, but got nothing. He just got off the ladder, and started walking toward a service elevator. He asked me to come along, as he had two boxes of extension cords to bring up. We went down in the elevator and out into the street! Wait a second. Keith was totally naked and still quite erect! But then I remembered, this was San Francisco, one of the few places where nudity is totally legal. (I think public nudity was changed back into a misdemeanor in 2012.) He walked the sidewalk to a parked van and extracted a box, asking me to grab the other box.

Back to the elevator, but we had to wait a bit, since someone else was using it. Keith started telling me his situation. He was from Los Angeles, California, and attends the Masturbate-A-Thon every year. He volunteered because he enjoys volunteering for things like this. He had been there since noon. Oddly, as we talked, his dick was staying hard. I liked seeing that. Like everyone, I’m on the bisexual scale. OK, some people are 99% hetero, and some 99% gay, but everyone is somewhere on that scale. I lean more toward women than men, but completely appreciate a male body, especially what I considered an exotic one, with a hardon.

We rode up in the elevator with an ordinary snack food delivery person with a hand truck of cartons. This guy was riding in a freight elevator with two men he’d never met, one of which was naked and erect. He handled it well. Never said a word, never seemed shocked.

After setting down the boxes of cords, Keith asked me to move the ladder. Robert was nearby and gave me a stern look, and said, rather gruffly, to not scratch the floor (the old, unpainted wooden, way-already-scratched-up floor). I was a bit embarrassed because I had dragged the ladder, but a bit upset about being ‘yelled at’ by Robert. I started to believe that Robert, although a nice guy, can be grouchy, especially just before an event is to start.

After a while, Keith had lost his spontaneous erection, and it didn’t seem to matter a bit to him whether he was hard or not. Oh, I wish I could be that free in my mind about such things!

I wasn’t quite sure what to do at this point. Being a bit of an exhibitionist, I wanted to join Keith in nudity, but on the other hand, none of the other volunteers were naked. Hmmm. Finally, I took all my clothes off, and draped them over the back of a sofa. No erection, but I still felt a bit weird, so a few minutes later, I put them back on.

Keith dispatched me to the library to get a box of light bulbs. I found the little room and was quite impressed. There were perhaps a thousand books and DVDs in there, and you guessed it, every single one had something to do with sex. I couldn’t resist browsing a page or two.

Next, Robert had a Salamander. This is a big propane heater and fan on wheels. He wanted me to guide his extension cord so he could blow heat into all the corners of the room, and the little rooms on the side. He explained that people are more comfortable taking their clothes off when the room is warm. Of course! But, I wouldn’t have thought of that.

Most of the hour before 4pm was used up. I was asked to sign in so the volunteers manning the administration desk could get some practice. I presented my pledge sheet. It was photocopied, rubber stamped and given back to me. I presented ID, which was also photocopied. I was given a wrist band that said I was an official participant! Neat-o! I also signed an optional model release form. This was because they had set up a platform as a stage. If anyone wanted to appear in the live Internet feed, and subsequent videos that might be made, they had to sign the form. That earned me another wrist band of a different color. I didn’t really think I’d ever be brave enough to show up nude on an international video feed, but signing up for that was free, and it would be nice to be prepared, just in case.

Next was the coat check. Actually, clothing check. I was directed to the room with the half-closed dutch door, and given a paper bag with a number on it, and a corresponding number on yet another wrist tag. I was instructed to take off all my clothes except my shoes or socks if I preferred, and put them in the bag. I felt a little vulnerable being at such a weird event, and have all my clothes, wallet, keys and everything in the charge of someone else! But I felt I could trust the volunteers in the clothing check room. I also felt vulnerable because besides Keith, I was now the only one who was naked, among a group that had swelled to about 20 volunteers. I found out that many were psychology interns with an interest in sexology, and they were working off a few of their 2,500 required internship hours before they could practice as professional psychologists. At first I felt a bit strange about that. Like I was their lab rat. But, I soon forgot about that.

I was called to the refreshment tables, to help put pretzels, candies and such things in bowls, as the very first members of the general public start streaming into the foyer.

Sometimes volunteering can be a bad thing. Or more specifically, it can feel weird. Or at least it did in this case. I was one of only two naked people, and the other one, Keith, had disappeared into a back room on a last-minute errand with the video people. Now, fully-clothed people were coming in off the street. Oh, how I wished I hadn’t so cheerfully offered to be the first person registered!

I probably should have been proud of being naked and free. I could have been overjoyed to be so fully expressing my exhibitionist tendency. Or fantasy, really. But no, I have to admit I was a bit freaked out. It’s as if I had been caught in junior high school pulling a prank that went too far, and was about to go to the principal’s office. I thought about going back to the library to kind of hide. I even took a couple of footsteps in that direction. But no, that was chicken-shit. I had to stick it out. At least my penis wasn’t sticking out. It had shriveled to about the smallest it could be. Maybe if it had fluffed up a little, that would have been nice.

Fortunately, my concerned state didn’t last long. People were getting registered, and a few individuals already had their clothing check bags in hand. Some were undressing right away. Others were kind of hanging back, as if to check whether it was really OK to disrobe in public.

Nudity was starting to become normal in front of the clothing check door, and into the masturbatorium.

Did I mention that not only am I a bit of an exhibitionist, at least in my fantasies, but also a voyeur? You bet! And I was delighted to see who was coming in. A very fit white guy, about 32 years old, about 5′ 11″ or 6′ 0″ feet tall was now totally naked. A really cool fellow who looked to be Hispanic, quite thin, about 50 years old was next. Then we had a short 20-something white woman with very long dark hair and a plump butt was next. Oh, look at that, she’s totally shaved! Then a sixty-something, heavyset gentleman. And a tall woman, perhaps 45 years old. Slightly saggy but large breasts, but I’m not a judge. I just notice these things. Then a waif. That’s how I describe her. Wait, I recognized her. She was one of the volunteers. She was now totally disrobed. She was very thin, couldn’t have been even five feet tall, with long, straight blond hair, small breasts, and a confident smile. Nice! A couple of older gents, perhaps in their seventies. A redheaded couple. Could they be brother and sister? He appeared to be of average height, just a touch overweight, like myself. He had very red curly hair, a bit of rosacia (natural redness) in his face too, and wearing nothing but glasses. His sister was an absolute knock-out. She had the same curly red hair, on her vagina too. She was of medium build, curvy but not fat, excellent rounded breasts that almost looked air-filled, and had beautiful big blue eyes.

And they kept coming in. I believe all-in-all, around 120 people showed up. They started filling the masturbatorium.

Most of the people were going for time. Their pledges were about how many minutes they could masturbate. No one told us whether we should start, wait for a signal, or just how this works. I was a bit surprised to find out that the interns didn’t really know what was going on either. Robert and Carol were nowhere to be found. I believe they had been detained in the press room.

So, some people had staked out the best looking sofas and were lazily just stroking themselves a little bit. A few erections here and there. Many people were standing in groups talking. Some evidently knew each other. I suppose most of the ones who knew others, like the redheaded brother and sister, had arranged to come to this event together. But, I’ll bet some were shocked to see their friends and neighbors here! Imagine seeing your co-worker, for instance, someone you have ridden the bus with with every day, or faced across from your computer screen hour after hour, and suddenly they’re here and stark naked. And you’re naked! And you’re becoming erect. And her nipples are hard and pointed.

Keith was going to town. He had plopped himself in an old sheet-covered recliner. All of the furniture was covered in sheets and towels. He was there in his recliner with a great vantage point of the doorway from the foyer, so he could see people as they were coming in. And the first thing they probably saw was good-ole Keith, slowly stroking his penis, with a giant erection and a giant smile!

A few guys had sat cross-legged on cushions and were talking about motorcycles as some stroked themselves, and others just sat there, not touching themselves yet. Some were as soft as me, others were sporting erections. I joined this group, and as casually as if we were old friends, and as casually as if we were all clothed, we were talking about two-stroke versus four-stroke engines, and fuel injection, and well, motorcycle stuff. One fellow was really eye candy. He couldn’t have been more than twenty years old. He was slight of build, and had long blond hair, almost like a woman. He had shaved all his body hair, and had a thin but tall circumcised erection. He was idly squeezing the tip of his dick with the thumb and forefinger of one hand. After a moment, he switched to cupping and gently squeezing his balls with one hand. Shortly after that, he pulled fairly hard and held down the skin of his dick, causing the head to shine like a polished apple.

Now, about a hundred people had all gotten naked and found positions around the room. Most were fifty years old or more, but some were quite young, like 18 – 20 years old. Many were heavyset, and of course, there were also some thin people. As you might expect, it was about seventy percent male. I’m glad there were enough women there so that they’d be comfortable. If only one or two women were present, they might have been rather freaked out, just as if only two men had showed up around a hundred women.

There was one thing that skewed the statistic a bit. There was a small room set aside for women who wanted privacy. About six women took up residence in that room. Although the doorway was open and one could see inside, people were all polite enough to not jam into the doorway and stare. Personally, I would rather have had the six women in the general group.

Finally, Robert and Carol came into the room, and announced that those people who were going for time, should start now. They said we could have five minute bathroom and snack breaks every hour. They said there’d be contests for the farthest distance a man can shoot, and most number of women’s and men’s orgasms. Also, an award would be given to the person who masturbates the longest. To finish their announcement, they reminded us of the good work that the Center for Sex and Culture was doing, how the money the Masturbate-A-Thon would be used, and thanked us for our participation.

Someone asked about what “tag-team” meant. For those who were interested, couples or larger groups, could give each other handjobs. For instance, a husband and wife could rub each other, and go for the tag-team time or number of orgasms record.

Then Carol reminded those who were interested in recording number of orgasms to find an intern who would be their monitor. That sounds like fun, doesn’t it? To masturbate in front of a stranger who is intently watching you?

Carol and Robert went back to the press room, and a few clothed people with cameras and notebooks followed them. I was told later that the people with cameras were very specifically told not to record anyone who was not wearing the green wrist banding indicating they had signed a release form.

I turned my attention back to the motorcycle group. I was somewhat surprised that while I had been stroking myself like everyone else was now doing, I didn’t get erect. I mean, with all that charged energy in the room, you’d think I’d not only grow a giant boner, but I’d have cum by now. I wasn’t even close. Weird. I guess it is because all my life in locker rooms, at various nude beaches, and so on, I have taught myself not to become erect in public.

After a while, I drifted away from the group and visited Keith. He seemed blissed out on his recliner, but when I walked by he said, “Hi.” So, we started talking. It turns out he was a fighter pilot in the Vietnam war. (I had no idea he was that old, he looks much younger.) He had been shot. Flack came right through the fuselage and hit him in the buttock and thigh. He showed me the scars. I showed him my knee where I had been shot. So we had that in common. What we did not have in common is that he is a celebrity. I should have recognized him, but I guess all I really noticed was his big, shiny, black dick. He was just using the name “Keith” so people wouldn’t know who he was. When the occasional person came by and said, “Hey, are you…?” he’d say, “No, he just looks like me.” He asked me, and everyone else he spoke with at any length, not to reveal his identity, since if it became known that he was at the Masturbate-A-Thon, it might hurt his career. So, for this book, I’ll just keep calling him “Keith.”

The entertainment had started. There were some bands on the stage that I had not heard of. Mostly, they were good, although in some cases the sound wasn’t quite mixed to my satisfaction. Between bands, a couple of adult entertainers got on stage. One brash young man who I did not recognize, but who was probably somebody big in porn movies, got on stage and started dancing and waving his limp penis around. He tried to masturbate there on the stage, but no go, he couldn’t get hard. After seven or eight minutes of trying, he gave up.

One of our interns, the small, frizzy black haired girl came up. She opened her legs really wide, showing us her pussy and asshole in great detail, as if it was a show-and-tell demonstration. She then proceeded to stroke herself to a slow, but powerful orgasm, right there in front of everyone and the two video cameras. That got me. I was finally starting to develop a semi-erection.

More rock bands. Nina Hartley came on stage with a weird costume. She had short strips of black electrical tape making crosses across her nipples, her glasses, and some sort of girdle or neglegee-like thing that had a big opening right over her pussy. All she did however, was talk for awhile about positive masturbation. No one was listening.

For a while, someone had been allowed to put a video camera in the women’s ‘private’ room, and one woman was rubbing herself and having orgasms like crazy. We could see it on a big screen erected over the stage.

At various times in the evening, videos were played on the screen, but they were mostly talking heads, music videos, or such mild pornography as to not be pornography at all.

Two hours in, and I was stroking away, yet I had never become fully hard. A few more stragglers had drifted in, but there were still only about a hundred people in the room. That’s because a few of the guys had ejaculated, lost their enthusiasm, and went home.

A guy got on stage with an upright piano and played beautiful honky-tonk music. That would have been worth the price of admission alone. He was all dressed in pinstripes, with suspenders and a bowler hat. I wonder if he wanted to be naked with all of us?

I only saw one couple tag-teaming. They were very involved with each other, and never really seemed to be in the room with the rest of us. In later years, the Masturbate-A-Thon eliminated tag-teaming. Handjobs aren’t fully qualified as masturbation, which by definition is ‘doing yourself.’

In the third hour, the redhead girl who had arrived with her brother took a spot on the floor, laying face down, with her legs spread wide. This was excellent! I could see her asshole very clearly, and I have a thing about assholes. Her butt was slim and tight. She was totally shaved, and her anus was small and had very little coloration. Just the way I like them. She had reached under her belly and was rubbing her clit. I didn’t know whether it was OK to stare as I wanked, so I got up the courage, walked around to the side she was facing, and asked her. She said, “Sure, knock yourself out.” In retrospect, I realize now that she was putting on a show. She wanted me to stare at her. So I knelt down behind her where I could get a great view, as a few other guys piled in around me. That got me hard. Very hard. I almost came after a minute, Fortunately, I’m good at edging. I know when I’m getting close, so I backed off. After a while, she got up and walked back to join her brother. The two of them took chairs facing each other and rubbed themselves easily while staring into eath other’s eyes.

There were a few fully clothed reporters working the room. I was interviewed two times. I asked the reporters, one of which was a young female, whether they planed to join us in wanking. No, they decided to stay clothed. On principle, I guess. Then, I asked whether anyone else had asked the same thing. Yes, everyone kept asking them to join in the fun, that the only way to get the true story was to be one of us.

A heavyset woman of about 40 years and I got to talking. Her very young female Asian intern was right there watching and listening, because this woman was going for the record number of orgasms. She told me she had already had twelve, and was about to have another. Would I like to place my hand on her lower stomach and feel the contractions? You bet. So I did, and I felt her having an orgasm! The intern then reminded me that we aren’t really supposed to touch anyone else.

I had been reminded of that very thing a few minutes earlier. A nice older gentleman asked whether he could stroke my penis. I said, “Of course, I don’t see why not.” So he reached out, and very gently slid what’s left of my foreskin up and down. It felt very nice to be touched in that way by a stranger’s warm fingers. But after a half-minute or so, an intern came by, and said, “Sorry, no touching of others.”

In a way, that was a shame, but in another way, that was just right. This whole thing could have easily turned into an orgy if there had been no supervision. And that would generate bad publicity, not good publicity. Besides, wanking in the same room with others is absolutely awesome in its own right!

The Masturbate-A-Thon had what they called a ‘voyeurs’ area. People who just wanted to watch could pay $40 and sit on a set of bleachers behind a rope on one side of the room and watch. Personally, I don’t know how they could stand it. If I had been a voyeur, I would have marched back to the administration desk and said, “Let me in, I want to play!” But maybe the voyeurs are too shy, or for their own reasons, they don’t want, or don’t need to jerk off with us. At various times there were a dozen or twenty voyeurs.

There was a guy masturbating who I had seen on the Internet because he has attended other sex events in the San Francisco Bay Area and is somewhat of a sexual celebrity. And, of course, after deciding to participate in this event, I looked up similar events on the web. I thought his name was Culo, or Cusco, or something like that, but because of a loud band playing in the background, I couldn’t quite tell when he introduced himself. He had a strong accent. I have since heard that he is Yuma, a software engineer who moved from Argentina. He appears to be in his early thirties. He has dark shiny smooth skin, and a very strong build. No doubt he is a bodybuilder. From what I had seen on the Internet, he likes to wear a cockring, and tonight was no exception. It was amazing to see him in person. He has a tall, confident, commanding presence. And his penis is very large! This guy is the ultimate exhibitionist. I’ve heard, in fact seen, video clips of him masturbating right out in the streets of San Francisco. He was on the floor on his hands and knees, facing away the voyeurs section so they had a clear view of his anus. And he was working a dildo in and out. Very, very sexual.

Five hours in, and I hadn’t cum yet! I was amazed and proud of myself. I had been erect for much of the past two hours. I had no idea that I might qualify for the record, which I had been told was around seven hours, but here I was already at five hours of wanking. So, now I was starting to think that I ought to earnestly pursue the record.

Another few grunts and a yell. A guy ejaculated. It was fun to watch a guy squirting cum only a few feet away from me. He got soft, and went home. This was becoming increasingly common.

I hadn’t seen Keith in a while. I guess he came once or twice, finally lost the spirit, and went home. It had already been a long day for him.

During a bathroom break, I had to walk out the masturbatorium doorway to the foyer area where the refreshments table and bathrooms were located. The doorway was rather clogged with mostly clothed people. These were people from the press, technical support people, such as the video personnel, people just arriving or leaving, and voyeurs. It was quite narrow, and the venue was loud. So there I was walking with a beautiful erection in front of everyone. It was heaven for the exhibitionist part of me! But I had to get through the crowd. I tried saying “excuse me” a couple of times, but no one could hear unless I shouted, and I didn’t think that would be quite right. So I just pressed in, and people slowly parted so I could get through. But not before I bumped my penis into a couple of clothed people. The feeling was indescribable. Oh, not the physical sensation. I barely felt anything with my penis. But the psychology. Oh the psychological effect! There I was bumping strangers with my proud erection, and it was OK. Kind of normal in a way. Fantastic!

I was still hard when I got to the bathroom. For some reason, the bathroom had only one urinal and one toilet. There must have been more bathrooms elsewhere, but I never did figure out where. Anyway, there was a bit of a line, and you could see the people in there doing their business. After a brief wait, I was able to approach the toilet. I found it a little hard to pee with an erection plus people not only staring at me, but wanting me to finish quickly so they could pee. So it took a moment, but finally, I did pee. And my hardon was starting to subside.

A quick visit to the snack table, and I was back in action in the masturbatorium again. Unfortunately, the doorway was not blocked this time. But then again, I wasn’t hard now, either.

Back in the masturbatorium, I had a nice visit with a lady who was probably well over 70 years old. She was overweight and hairy. Not much to look at, but a very sweet individual. She was sitting in a high-backed chair against a wall rubbing her clit.

It was approaching 10pm, and I noticed a late arrival for the first time. This was a very tall, thin Asian woman, with perky breasts, wearing nothing but a cowboy hat. She walked past, rubbing herself as she walked. I would have thought I’d died and gone to heaven if I could have just sat down and watched her while I wanked, but there were so many guys following her around, I gave up on the idea. It was enough just to see her in her entirety for a moment. I hope she was enjoying all the male attention. In fact, I’m rather certain she was very much enjoying the attention.

Now, Nina Hartley, the porn star from several years ago, was on the stage and giving a guy a nice handjob. I don’t quite understand how she could do that and not be breaking the rules, but then again, she was the star. And she still looked great. The guy ejaculated, and left the stage. She asked whether anyone else would like to visit her on the stage. My hormones ruled. I was up there in a heartbeat. Who would have figured? Me, a generally shy average-looking guy, stark naked on a stage, about to do something sexual with Nina Hartley!

She asked what I liked, and I told her. I tried to think of something she could do that wouldn’t cause me to ejaculate. At the time I was fascinated with testicle massage. She offered to do it right there and then, in front of the Internet feed going out to the whole world. Chances are, thousands of people were watching, because the event was well publicized online. I slouched in a chair with my legs wide apart as she Knelt in front of me. Nina Hartley! A clothed camera guy got right up next to me for a close up, but I was completely fine with that. Proud in fact.

Nina’s touch was electrifying. She started out with a very soft tickle-light touching of my scrotum. My dick was sticking straight up, rock hard, and jerking back and forth occasionally. She was expert enough not to touch it. Because I would have squirted right away. Then she started in earnest. She really knew what I meant about testicle massage. I’ve had several men and women massage my balls, and they never seem to get it quite right. Most never get up the nerve to squeeze hard enough. They are afraid they’ll hurt, or even injure me. The few who do use enough pressure are not aware that there are sensitive spots on the top back sides of the balls where the cords attach. If those spots are squeezed, it is quite ouchy.

Oh, but Nina was an expert. She was squeezing and kneading my balls like her life depended on it. She was squeezing harder and harder until she saw me flinch a couple of times. Then she backed off just the right amount, and gave me a full five minutes of the best ball massage I’ve ever had in my life. I looked at a video monitor at one point, and there were my balls and dick, bigger than life, all over the Internet.

All good things must end, and Nina sent me on my way, and after rubbing herself on camera for a few minutes, she went on to make some other guy’s dream come true.

Days after the Masturbate-A-Thon, I scoured the Internet, hoping to find ‘my’ video, but I never did find it.

More wanking. Midnight had come and gone, and I was approaching eight hours of solid jerking off, except for bathroom breaks. I wasn’t sore, and I was loving every minute of it. But, of all damn things, I was getting sleepy.

The room was clearing out. There were only about thirty people left.

I was wondering just how important it was to me to break the record. There were only two competitors left. One regular-looking guy had spent almost the whole time in the one and only hammock in the room. I don’t even know if he took bathroom breaks.

The other was a fellow named Masanobu who had come all the way from Japan.

He was an official representative of a Fleshlight-like device. These are tubes with soft insides that you slip over your penis. They are supposed to feel much like a real vagina. He had been using his contraption the whole time, while other representatives of the company went around the room offering to let people try their fake vaginas. Earlier in the evening, I tried one, and liked it well enough, but liked my hand better.

Anyway, he had been practicing. It looked like he was going to go forever, so maybe it was becoming time for me think about heading home.

I had been wanking side by side with another guy approximately my age who kept telling me how great my dick looked. Everyone loves to to hear that, and I’m no exception. We were talking about porn websites we liked when he pointed out a group of three women across the room.

I walked over to watch. One of the three was was perhaps 18 or 20 years old, very small, thin, and had very short black hair. Almost a crew cut. Pretty obviously a lesbian costume or statement. She was laying on her back on a cushion on the floor, having such strong orgasms that she was convulsing. Her very small flat breasts were shaking along with her whole body. Her two friends were on either side of her, holding her shoulders and murmuring some soft somethings to her. I took one look at that, and suddenly I lost it, I ejaculated all over the floor.

After that, part of me wanted to stay, but the more practical part said it was late (for me), I was tired, and still had to drive 30 miles home. Besides, that, my penis was now obstinately soft and just a little bit sore. It wasn’t going to get back up any time soon. So it was time to visit the clothing check, get my stuff, jump in the car and head home.

As luck would have it, traffic was stopped at the bridge. Evidently a car had caught fire up ahead. It was a rare warm San Fracisco night, so I, and most of the other motorists stepped out of our cars to enjoy the refreshing air. Guess who popped out of the car next to me? Right, one of the Masturbate-A-Thon participants! We exchanged phone numbers and promised to get together for our own mini masturbate-a-thon, but we never did. Traffic cleared, and I headed home.

I had masturbated non-stop for 8 hours and 20 minutes, according to the stamps on my pledge sheet. The guy in the hammock must have quit just minutes after I did. I later found out that the Japanese guy won with a time of 8 hours and 40 minutes. If only I had known! But then again, he probably would have gone 20 hours if he had to, in order to win.

You’d think I’d be sore the next day. If not my penis, then perhaps my arm or wrist. But no, I was just fine and in fact jerked off a couple of times the next day while remembering the Masturbate-A-Thon.

What a glorious time I had telling all my pledgees about my experience at the Masturbate-A-Thon! I think after my telling of the story, they all wished they had had the gumption to go along with me.

No one, especially I, expected me to go eight hours and 20 minutes! Everyone paid up, including my benefactor who pledged $0.25 per minute. He had to pay $125. He grumbled a bit, but he wrote a check, which I forwarded along with the other payments to the Center for Sex and Culture.

In later years, there have been a few changes. For instance, the record times were getting so long, that they no longer hold in-house competitions for who can go the longest. They are more vigilant about people touching anyone other than themselves. The self-pledge price dropped from $40 to $30, making it easier for more people to attend.

Here are some records from more recent events:

Longest Time, set in 2012 by Sonny Nash: 10 hours and 10 minutes

Men’s Ejaculation Distance Record, set in 2014: 12 ft 10 in (3.9 m)

Female Most Orgasms, set at the Denmark Masturbate-A-Thon in 2009: 222

Male Most Orgasms, also Denmark 2009: 8

In the following years, I have twice more attended the Masturbate-A-Thon. Both times were as good as the first.

It turns out I still couldn’t get my friends, my pledgees from the first year to come along. Oh well, Their loss. My one and only complaint with the Masturbate-A-Thon in general is that it is under-publicized. I believe the people at the Center for Sex and Culture just don’t know how to publicize a local event in a big city like San Francisco. Because every year, only between a hundred and 250 people out of well over a million in the Bay Area show up. What’s up with that?

Can you imagine what it would like to have a convention of a thousand people wanking together?

Now, they do hold masturbate-a-thons in some other cities such as London, Portland, Philadelphia, even in Denmark. Perhaps you’d like to organize one where you live!


Masturbation: For many years, especially in Europe and America, masturbation was considered somehow bad. Even talking about it was bad form. Fortunately, things have changed. Medical research has proven that masturbation is not only OK, it is actually good for mental and physical health. Masturbation lowers blood pressure – although it is actually higher during the act itself. Masturbation reduces premature ejaculation, reduces likelihood of prostate inflammation which is quite common as men age and according to some studies, may even reduce incidence of prostatic cancer.

Perhaps the best benefit is greater psychological stability. People who don’t jerk off suffer from a pressure one might call horniness, in which it is all to easy to make social gaffs and blunders, such as pursuing someone who is not actually going to be good company, following someone around who doesn’t want to be followed, and telling off-color jokes in the wrong places and times.

It goes by more than 500 names, such as “choking the chicken,” “fapping,” “jerking off,” “slapping the monkey,” and “wanking.” How many can you think of?


Meatotomy: A common type of body modification is meatus widening, known as meatotomy in which the meatus is purposely lengthened. This is generally done by the man himself, or non-professional practitioners, without anesthesia.

A complication is that the owner of a widened meatus may have trouble with a dribbling stream that is difficult to aim into the toilet. The condition can be surgically reversed.

Your author has imagined that the opposite treatment of the meatus might be interesting: To purposely partially close the meatus. This might result in a stronger, better aimed urination stream. Furthermore, it might cause longer-lasting, more continuous, more forceful ejaculations. That might be fun. A person could perhaps fake the effect to see what happens with a bit of crazy glue applied to the top or bottom of the meatus. Keep in mind that frequent contact with glue of that sort might cause skin irritation or worse. Alternatively, a couple of closely placed stitches could temporarily reduce the meatus.


Meatus: The urethral opening. Some men like to stretch this opening. While initially painful, the passing of ever larger objects in to the urethra can be quite enjoyable for men who enjoy such things.


Menopause: Many men over forty are in a similar situation. When their wives go through menopause, their hormonal changes can cause them to lose interest in sex. This is not universal, but it is common. In some cases, the women are accommodating, and will give their men handjobs, or encourage their men to jack off at home, even while the wives watch. But in many cases, the communication hasn’t been good enough, or the upbringing too difficult to overcome, so the men end up just frustrated. The unfortunate result all too often, is that the men seek comfort in anything from infidelity to prostitution to a new-found interest in bisexuality.


Menstruation: Seventy percent of men will not have sex when their mates are menstruating.


Milking: True milking is the practice of causing a guy to ejaculate many times in a single session, until semen no longer comes out. Most men cannot stand this. After their first ejaculation, the sensitivity increases, and the interest in further manipulation decreases. Many people use the term milking interechangeably with ordinary handjobs.


Mutual Masturbation: Two or more people masturbating each other. Mutual masturbation can take many forms and can involve only females, only males, or mixed sexes. One common form is for two people to lay, sit or stand such that each has access to the other’s penis, simultaneously rubbing the other person. The other popular form is to take turns. One person will relax while being attended to by the other. After a while, they trade roles. The trading can happen once the first person has had an orgasm. Or it can happen after a random amount of time, when one might say something like, “OK, now your turn.” People into edging can trade back and fourth for hours.

A fun variation is to use a timer and make a game of it. For instance, each person is given three minutes of non-stop attention. The goal might be to not cum during that time.

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Needle Play: This is a close cousin to play piercing. The general idea is that needles are poked into a person’s body without anesthesia for a kind of painful pleasure. This is definitely not for every man. But for those who enjoy such things, needles can be pushed through just about any part of the penis, at just about any angle as long as they don’t puncture the corpose cavernosa, since that could cause excessive bleeding. Some men will place needles in their scrotums, and some have been known to push needles through their testicles. This is risky business. Getting an infection inside your body this way is not only embarrassing, but potentially deadly. Some men will push a single needle through a small area. Others will stick a dozen or more needles deep into themselves. A place to start is to push one through just inside the meatus through to the underside of the penis, perhaps 3 – 6 millimeters (1/8 to 1/4 inch) from the opening. This penetrates only a very small amount of tissue and heals quickly. Men have been known to ejaculate just from having a needle pushed into their dicks.

You might be tempted to use a sewing needle for your first experience. You may find that too painful. Sewing needles are designed not to poke through skin, so it takes quite a bit of pressure to push a sewing needle through. Many needle play people use acupressure or medical needles. Triangular canvas sewing needles can work well also, although they are large, and can also be painful. In many circumstances, especially if you don’t see it coming, an medical or acupuncture needle can be entirely painless.


Nettles: These are fuzzy leaves from a plant that carries a mild toxin. To simply have a nettle brush against your arm can cause a mild to severe stinging that lasts for several minutes. Some men who particularly enjoy intensity will apply nettles to their scrotum or penis.


Nipple: If you’ve never experienced light tickling of your nipples, you might be amazed. It turns out men have almost as much sensitivity in their nipples as women do. Some men will tickle a nipple with one hand while masturbating with the other. This greatly enhances the arousal. There are also men who like very intense squeezing, twisting and biting of their nipples. Nipple piercings can enhance the pleasure because simply wearing a shirt can keep the pierced man in ongoing arousal, at least while the piercing is new.


Nipplegasm: Some men, and some women, can have orgasms just from nipple play.


Nocturnal Erection: It is natural for men men to have six to twelve erections during sleep and frequently waken in the morning with an erection. These may or may not be associated with sexual dreams or wet dreams.

Men often enjoy the feeling of waking with an erection, and some will masturbate first thing in the morning. Early in a marriage, most men are shy about letting their wives see them with an erection at night or in the morning. These men usually feel a great sense of relief when their wives discover their nocturnal erections, and then let their husbands know that they understand and are OK with it. Some wives take it a step further, and want to play with or use their husbands’ nocturnal erections.


Non-Stop Orgasm: Once you learn to decouple orgasm from ejaculation, you can also learn to have a non-stop orgasm. Using the decoupling technique, let yourself get closer and closer to the edge. When you hit the threshold, stop stimulating and relax your entire body, letting the ejaculation do what it will. Perhaps it will flow out in its entirety, especially when you first start trying it. But in time, only a drop or two, or maybe nothing will come out. You can resume stimulating even while you are still having contractions, and something interesting will happen: The contractions, the orgasm itself, will continue, ultimately for as long as you like.

So far, your author has progressed to the point where I no longer need to take tissues to bed. Sometimes, when my wife is asleep, I’ll lay in bed stroking myself to orgasm after orgasm, but I won’t need anything to catch the cum, because I won’t ejaculate. And it is easy. I don’t particularly have to concentrate to get it right. By myself, I’m pretty reliable. On the other hand, when someone else is ‘doing’ me, it is very difficult to have the same level of control – so far.

See also: Dry Orgasms.


Nude Beach: Many men are afraid to attend a nude beach for the first time. They’re concerned that they’ll get an erection, which is a strong possibility. As it turns out, at most nude beaches people will understand and look the other way. At some beaches, they’ll welcome your erection and maybe even offer to play with it. At some beaches, however, it is a very good idea to hide your erection by laying face down on your towel, or jumping in the water, until it subsides. If it won’t subside, you can just jerk off while shoulder deep in the water, where no one will notice.

For some beach attendees, nudity is non-sexual. It really does make sense to get an even distribution of sun all over. It may not be as good for one’s health to be very tanned in some areas, and totally untanned in others.

At some beaches, sexual activity is the norm. Some in-between beaches, playing with friends in the bushes near the beach is completely acceptable, but sexual activity of any sort in front of others is not allowed.

The legality and enforcement at beaches varies considerably. At some, you are advised to keep your clothes nearby in case you need to put them on in a hurry when officials come by. At some beaches, sheriffs or other law enforcement officials periodically drive up and down the beach in four-wheel drive vehicles, not to bother nudists, but to protect them. Their job is to bother drunks or people who are doing disruptive or illegal activities.

Your author attended an inland nude beach at a tree-shaded quarry near a small town. It was a warm summer day and there were perhaps thirty people around the quarry ranging from a young girl and her mother to elderly men and women. The mix was probably typical with about sixty percent being male.

As I drove in, I passed a man sitting in a lawn chair in plain view of everyone arriving or leaving, looking at an Android tablet and idly stroking his fully hard penis. After I parked, I noticed a camper van will all doors open, and several cardboard signs inviting people to come over and play.

I met the owner of the van, and he told me that he gets two or three takers every day. It’s mostly about handjobs and blowjobs, but he has had full-on sex there. He told me that most of the participants were men, but he has had experiences with women in his van at the beach also. Sometimes he’ll close the doors if his guests want privacy, but most often, everyone is fine with leaving them open.

I played with the man for a short while. Neither of us wanted to ejaculate, so I gave him a testicle massage and handjob, and he responded in kind.

I left to meet other people and find out more about the beach. I saw one intriguing woman, fully nude and well-tanned, who had a remarkably large collection of black genital hair. Normally, your author prefers shaved, but I found her quite attractive. Nothing happened, I just enjoyed her beauty at a distance.

As the day progressed, I mostly played Frisbee with new-found friends, tried juggling rocks, and all the things that one does at a normal nude beach, and had a very nice time.

Here’s another nude beach story you may enjoy. This one is from a client.

Well, I don’t know if this is the kind of thing you want to write about, but if so, go ahead, someone might enjoy reading it.

So, sometimes I like to go to the nude beach on weekends. The first several times, I was thrilled, but nothing happened, then I went home and of course I jerked off. I mean, seeing all those pretty women and excellent guys made me horny.

I was careful not to have an erection there on the beach in front of everyone. I mean, I checked it out, and no one else was getting erect. Now, I’ve heard of beaches where people do whatever they want, play around and what-not, but evidently my beach isn’t one of them. Unfortunately, there are no other nude beaches for more than 100 miles north or south, or at least any that I know of, so I’ll gladly make due with my beach. I mean, at least it is a nude beach, after all. And, there are usually like 100 people there on a good day.

One time, I was feeling an erection coming on. It scared me. I mean, it would be totally embarrassing, right? So I laid face down on my towel until it was over, which took an annoyingly long time.

A couple weeks later I was on the beach again. It was still early, only about a dozen people milling around, none close to me, and damn if I didn’t start getting a stiffy again. Somehow, I was feeling bolder. I just let it happen. At one point, a couple of girls walked by, still dressed – they were just arriving, and I turned away, pretending to stare out at a sailboat way out on the ocean, but it was to hide my erection.

Yes, about the girls. I’d like to see more on the beach. It’s probably about 80% guys. And the women that are there, they often wear bottoms, or aren’t that good-looking, at least in my opinion. But then again, seeing anyone nude is quite a turn-on for me.

Anyway, one day shortly after that, and I guess I have to say my boldness was growing, I was trying to juggle three rocks, and an older man was sitting there applauding me. I smiled at him, but kind of shyly. I mean, was he gay and going to try to pick up on me? What a crazy thought! What would have been wrong with that? Nothing, right? I should have been honored, and I was, really. But mostly, I think he appreciated my attempt to juggle. Or actually, I was just enjoying being acknowledged. You see, going to the nude beach is a lonely thing. You go there, you try not to stare, but you want to look. You want something more. Maybe real human contact. But it doesn’t seem to happen all that often. So you hang at the beach until you’re risking sunburn, then you go home and jerk off.

Getting back to the man watching me juggle: Suddenly I noticed he was just sitting there with a full erection. He wasn’t trying to hide it. He must have been erect there for like 5 minutes, yet I hadn’t noticed. Was his hardon because of me? Wow, what to think about that? I don’t think I’m all that attractive, so this was really a great honor. But I didn’t know how to react, so I smiled again, and then just walked away to another part of the beach.

Over the next few weeks, his bold erection got me to thinking: Maybe it’s OK. Maybe the whole beach thing, the way people don’t really talk to each other – unless they came as a group, and the way no one gets erect, and no one fools around in any way, is because everyone is afraid to be the one to break the ice. I mean, I was really thinking about that a lot. I thought about it at work (forklift driver), I thought about it during meals, I even had a dream about it. Well sort of. I dreamed that I was called into the office for some sort of paperwork thing, and the accountant guy was this guy I had seen at the beach, and he was sitting at his desk with no shirt on. Then, he pushed away in his chair a few feet from the desk, and he was sporting an erection. In the dream, I was trying to act as if everything was normal, and woke up, almost in some sort of fright.

So, like I said, I was thinking a lot about how no one is willing to break the ice at the beach. But what if someone did? And if so, who would it be? Well, by the looks of things, it would have to be me.

That weekend I went back, determined to “do” something, although I didn’t quite know what. In my fantasies, I would just get in a conversation with some people, I’d hit it off with a great-looking young woman, we’d start kissing. Then I’d kiss her breasts, and then before long, there we would be, doing it in front of everyone.

The reality that day wasn’t quite like the fantasy. I am rather a shy person, unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, whatever.

Anyway, I did engage in conversation. I figured the best thing was to offer to teach some of the people to juggle rocks. I ended up with about 20 people who tried juggling, or at least talked with me about it. A few were women, most men. Then the day was over, and I went home. No erections. Well, one guy, he may have had a bit of a chubby. I was intrigued by that, but nothing came of it, of course. Oddly, although the experiment didn’t really succeed, I had a good time, and had high hopes for subsequent visits.

I went to the beach one last time before the end of the season, and knowing full well that the season was going to end, I was somewhat more emboldened. I had a few conversations, and at one point, something started to jell. Some people sitting near me, and who had tried juggling a few minutes earlier, had some extra bananas, and offered me one. I took that as an invitation to join their group. It was two couples. We sat on the sand and just started talking. I found out one of the guys is a medical student. The other is sort of like me: He’s a delivery driver. One of the women is a court stenographer, and the other is a retail clerk, I think. It wasn’t really clear whether she owns a retail store, or works in one, and I didn’t find out what she sells. She was a beautiful, I mean, really knock-out redhead. The other girl was a bit rounded, but still beautiful. Oh yes, everyone was totally naked, and it was difficult for me to not focus on the redhead’s shaven vagina. The guys were alright too. Both taller than me, both thin and athletic. The driver guy, was bald-headed and bearded, which I must say, is a rather attractive combination.

As were were all just sitting there shooting the shit, the driver started idly touching the head of his penis, and it was starting to erect a bit. I don’t know if he was aware of what he was doing – that he was doing that in public. This had an immediate and unfortunate effect on me. Or, I should say, fortunate. My penis started to rise.

My first thought was to hide it. Run out to the water, or turn face down in the sand. But that would have obvious and awkward. OK, so here was my chance. Not that I had any option really, so I just let it happen. The redhead lightly teased me about it. Not evil at all. She was just making things ‘normal’ the way I figure it. She was saying something, if I remember correctly, like, “Oh, a woodie on the beach,” and “The erection police will be here any minute.”

The driver saw me and guess what? He erected 100% right away. His girl, the heavier one, said something like “Oh, I like this.” Now, the med student was getting hard too, and his girl, the redhead said he needed an ‘examination.’ At that point, she leaned all in and started giving him a blowjob. Right there on the beach, in front of everyone walking by!

I decided it was OK with them if I watch, but at first I had to think about it. Like wasn’t that a ‘private’ act? Shouldn’t I look away or something? But no, they were doing it on purpose in front of us. The redhead was kind of flicking her fingers over her nipples, and her boyfriend was now starting to touch his penis, although it was staying soft.

As this was all happening, about six or eight people stood near us, watching. One or two of the guys might have had their hands on their pricks, but I don’t quite remember.

I started stroking myself, just lightly, as I watched the blowjob in progress, and I guess that I shouldn’t be surprised: I came right away, shooting several spurts right there into the sand.

The blowjob and the erections didn’t last long. The whole thing happened in about 5 minutes. No one else came, and we all resumed normal conversation. I’m pretty sure it was shyness taking over. Some sort of modesty. Because, we certainly could have done more. But we didn’t. Shortly after that, we exchanged phone numbers and went our separate ways.

No, I never did call anyone nor did they call me. It was pretty obvious that the four of them were two couples. I would have been a fifth wheel. But sometimes I think what could have happened. We could have all gotten together and had a five-way. I mean, who’s to say that all five of us wouldn’t have wanted that? And yet, shyness wins again. No one called, no one suggested it, not even me. I’ll have to work on that.


Nudity: Also known as naturism. This is the practice of being naked in social settings. The attitudes toward nudity throughout the world, and even in homogeneous societies can vary greatly. Some people are absolutely against nudity, and will go so far as to punish very young children for stepping out of their clothes. Others are exhibitionists and will go to great lengths to participate in nudity.

Some men, and women too, regard nudity non-sexually, as a simple lifestyle without clothes. Others find nudity very erotic.

Some nude situations are entirely innocent, such as posing for artists, or skinnydipping, the act of swimming with friends, without clothes.

Other situations are designed or become sexual, such as playing strip poker, or attending swinging parties where couples have sex with various members of the group.

The legality of nudity varies considerably from one community to another. See San Francisco where public nudity was legal until recently.

Brand new nudists may be amazed at the degree of freedom one feels when the cool breeze hits your privates for the first time, or when strangers – or friends – see you fully naked for the first time.

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Oral sex: One in every four hundred men are sufficiently flexible to suck their own dick. The extra flexibility can be learned if one is patient and sufficiently interested.

Women who are college educated are more likely to give blowjobs than those who have not.


Orchidectomy: Also known as hemi-castration, the removal of a testicle. A man’s physiology does not change with the removal of one testicle. Sometimes testicles are removed for medical reasons. For instance, occasionally a teenager will get testicular torsion, in which the testicle turns, twisting the spermatic cord and cutting off circulation. If the surgery isn’t performed immediately, the testicle dies and must be removed. Occasionally, in a very RACK form of BDSM a man will consent to a voluntary orchedectomy.

Another interesting operation, subcapsular orchidectomy, is the removal of the outer coating of the testicles to reduce testosterone levels in run-away prostate cancer. Evidently most testosterone is not created inside the testicle, but in it’s rubbery covering. The squishy remainder of the testicles are returned to the scrotum, still attached to the spermatic cords, and evidently the man can live a fairly ordinary life.


Orchidometer: Medical personnel have an instrument called an orchidometer. It is a series of plastic oval ‘balls’ in graduating sizes. The doctor or nurse holds them up to a patient’s scrotum, and compares, so as to get a measurement of that patient’s testicles.


Orgasm: The typical woman’s orgasm lasts 23 seconds, while for guys it is six seconds. Since a guy is likely to orgasm around 7,200 times in a lifetime, that’s a total of 12 hours of pure orgasming. Doesn’t sound like all that much, does it? A man can learn to have much longer orgasms. See Non-Stop Orgasm.

Does the orgasm feel essentially the same for women and men? No one can fully answer that question. However, the male and female organs are more similar than different, especially if viewed from the time of fetal development, when they are seen to come from the same pre-structures. A close study of some women orgasming makes it clear that they have contractions or spasms at about the same rate as men. Our brains and the nervous system between our brains and genitals is also almost identical.

In general, the male and female orgasms do differ in some ways other than duration. Many women can have multiple orgasms over an hour or more, whereas few men can do that without a refractory period. Women generally prefer more romance and more foreplay, without which, they often cannot have orgasms, On the other hand, most men can cum in three minutes.

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PC Muscle: Also known an the Pubococcygeus muscle, or one of the perineal muscles or Kegel muscles, this lies at the bottom of the pelvic girdle, and assists in control of urine flow, ejaculation in men, and childbirth in women. Exercising this muscle, known as Kegel exercises is good for problems with urine retention, premature ejaculation, maintaining an erection, and can help with techniques such as the big draw.

You can feel this muscle tighten if you make it a point to tighten your anus, or pretend you can extend your erection. You may see your penis move slightly in response.


Peegasm: Also known as pissgasm. It is possible, but for most men, very difficult to urinate and ejaculate at the same time. Your author has managed it twice. The trick seems to be to start with a very full bladder, and to be good at edging. When you’re so full that you really can’t hold it any more, when little dribbles of pee start leaking out no matter how hard you resist, start wanking like crazy. If you feel your valves shutting off the flow of urine, stop stroking, the resume shortly afterward. If you feel you’re getting too close to orgasm, back off. At first, you’ll slip over one edge or the other. Either you’ll end up using all your urine, or you’re ejaculate. Usually ejaculation shuts off the flow of urine, but if you can relax your orgasmic contractions while they’re happening, the urine can continue to flow. Ultimately, the day will come when you are peeing, and stroking yourself at the same time. You’re very relaxed, and then suddenly, the pee starts to spurt in an ejaculating sort of way, and your semen is mixed with the urine. Keep practicing, It will happen!


Perineum: The area of skin behind the scrotum and before the anus.


Peyronie’s syndrome: also known as Peyronie’s disease or induratio penis plastica is a condition that affects approximately one in twenty men. The usual symptom is a curvature of the penis more severe than the normal amount of curvature that most men have from birth. It can be accompanied by pain, difficulty in sexual intercourse, and ultimately lead to sexual dysfunction and depression. The disease is brought on by an inflammation of the tunica albuginea, the sheath covering the corpora cavernosa, that result in long cord-like plaques. Injury is thought to be a factor, but some patients do not recall any sort of previous penile injury. Sometimes, rather than curvature, or in addition to curvature, the penis evidences depressed areas.

The condition is usually autonomous, but thirty percent of men suffer additional connective tissue disorders, such as in their hands.

Treatment options are unclear. Some patients respond to drug therapies, some spontaneously heal, while others get worse. Splinting and exercises work for some, and surgery, if performed by a specialist in this condition may be helpful.


Peehole: Officially known as the meatus, the peehole can vary in size from around 3 millimeters in diameter to 13 millimeters (1/8-inch to 1/2-inch). Some men enjoy playing with their peeholes. The simplest and safest version, is simple external light touching. If you’ve never done that, give it a try. The sensations of very lightly rubbing directly over the tip may amaze you. Other men can go to extremes in putting objects in their peeholes. Care must be taken because the tissue just inside the opening is mechanically fragile and prone to infection.


Penis: What it’s all about! Properly understood, and utilized, and without ridiculous social stigmas, the penis and related organs can be a source of great pleasure.


Penis Plug: Also known as urethral plug or cum stopper. A device pushed through the meatus and part-way into the urethra. Penis plugs come in two forms: Solid and hollow. The hollow ones can be worn for longer periods of time, because they don’t block urination. They also don’t block ejaculation, which can be more comfortable for a man. Some men, on the other hand, want to block their ejaculations.

Penis plugs have a big ball, disk or ring on the end so they won’t accidentally slip all the way into the urethra. While the urethra has a natural tendency to push foreign objects out, it might be otherwise possible to have the penis plug work its way into the bladder and become a permanent resident. This ejecting action of the urethra makes it difficult to wear a penis plug, because after a minute or so, the urethra will eject it. Some penis plugs have a ring that slips around the corona to retain the plug.

Some penis plugs have a threaded hole in the side about 1/2-inch (13 mm) from the distal end. Assuming the wearer has a Prince Albert piercing, a threaded attachment, typically a small ball, can be threaded through the piercing to retain the plug.


Phimosis: Rumor has it that King Louis XVI, of France (1754-1793) had phimosis. This is an abnormally tight foreskin. It does not usually happen due to disease or accident. One can be born with phimosis. Some historians mistakenly say that the king was circumcised to relieve the situation, and immediately after that, circumcision became popular in France, but that seems not to be the case. It is true that his marriage was childless for the first seven years, but then he and his wife Queen Marie Antoinette, had four children. Reports from people close to the couple indicate that they were simply not very sexually active. What with ruling all of France, perhaps they had other things on their minds. Then too, phimosis can make ordinary intercourse painful, and so perhaps the king’s natural inclination to fuck was trumped by the fact that fucking would hurt him.

Evidently the king’s doctors were consulted, and said that the dangers of circumcision outweighed any advantage. The operation would be painful in the days before anesthesia, the king would be indisposed for weeks, and if anything went wrong, such as an infection, they would have no good way to cure it.

King Louis died at the age of 38, not from an infection or anything like that, but due to beheading in the guillotine.

Phimosis can be so tight that the foreskin forms a point in front of the glans. The foreskin cannot be retracted, and trying to do so can hurt. The man with this condition runs an additional risk of infection around the always-covered top of the penis.

Occasionally a man with moderate phimosis suffers something worse: Before the penis is fully erect, the foreskin can be retracted. Then, when hard, the foreskin will not roll back into position. This forms a tight band behind the glans, which keeps the blood from flowing back out, and the man ends up with a condition in which the glans is being chocked off. These men can usually manage to get the foreskin back in position, but it can become a medical emergency.

Speaking of phimosis reminds me of a story that I believe is entirely true, told to me by an acquaintance who is not prone to lying or exaggerating. I’ll relate it in his words, as closely as I recall:

I grew up thinking my parents were slightly looney, kind of like ex-hippies. In fact, that’s pretty much what they were. They were also nudists. Of course as a child, I didn’t know that was uncommon. I just thought that when some company comes over to our house, we wear clothes, or ‘textiles’ as my parents called them, and with other company, clothes were not necessary. I don’t remember learning that we needed to wear clothes in school. It’s just something we did.

Oh, my parents and my sister saw me with erections many times. It’s natural, of course. I saw my parents making love many times. That too, was considered completely natural in our home. When my sister and I started masturbating, we didn’t have to close our bedroom doors or do it in secret. I mean, we could jerk off right at the dinner table, if we were so inclined. Mostly, we weren’t. I do believe, crazy as they are, my parents did a better job of raising us than most parents. Anyway…

One day around the time I was eighteen, I was idly touching myself while watching something-or-another on TV, and I was erect. My mom came closer in that way moms can do, with a concerned look on her face. She was studying my penis and that was slightly embarrassing. I mean, to have it just hanging out around the house, erect or not, is no big deal. But suddenly, she was staring right at it. She then simply said, “Your foreskin seems a bit tight.”

I was like, “So?”

She didn’t say anything more about it, and went back into the kitchen.

A couple of days later I come to find out she has made an appointment for a medical exam for me. It was the usual annual exam, but pushed up a couple of months. I’ve never cared for physicals. It seems there’s always one test or something that’s painful or inconvenient.

On the appointed day, I went along. What else could I do? The exam was routine, and actually more pleasant than expected until near the end when it was time for the genital check. My mom said something about the tight foreskin. The nurse practitioner who had been doing the usual things – you know checking my balls for lumps, testing for her hernia and all that, said something like, “Hmmmm, yes,” but didn’t examine me in any more detail. Instead, she called in the doctor. He took a brief look, didn’t even touch me down there, and walked back out.

When the exam was over, we met in front of the doctor’s desk for a brief conversation. No surprise, for the past several years, this was routine. He’d usually smile and say something like “Congratulations, Ben is in perfect health.”

This time, he wasn’t smiling. I was concerned during the seemingly very long series of pleasantries between him and my mother, before he started speaking about the situation at hand. He said, “You can’t leave the situation as-is. He is at risk of infection, plus, I think Ben will find intercourse painful.”

I was becoming quite embarrassed. They were talking about my prick!

He went on: “There are two choices, circumcision, and exercises.”

I knew there was no way I’d accept circumcision, and I doubted that my mom would either. She’s generally against medical intervention, although she seemed to think checkups were a good idea. But what were these exercises?

He went on to briefly explain that the foreskin could be stretched twice a day for perhaps ten times per session and that according to medical literature, that can do the job.

I breathed a sigh of relief, and enjoyed the ride home, knowing I wouldn’t be seeing the doctor again for a whole year, and especially knowing I could do the exercise and probably wouldn’t need circumcision.

A few days passed, and my mom asked whether I had been doing the exercises. I had to admit that I had forgotten all about it.

A few days after that, she asked again, and being one who does tell the truth, I sheepishly admitted that, no, I hadn’t.

With a look of exasperation, she said, “Come here,” patting the side of her bed she had been sitting on.

Wondering what she was planning to say, I was surprised when she instructed me to lay down on the bed. She then reached out, and gingerly touched my penis. Really, my mom was touching my dick! This was certainly interesting, but also somehow a bit icky.

She announced she was going to do the exercise for me, since I wasn’t doing it myself.

‘Oh, no!’ i thought. The exercise requires erection, and somehow I really didn’t want to get erect in my own mother’s hands.

She got up off the bed, went over to her dresser, and came back with a feather, saying “This ought to do the job.”

Coming back to the side of the bed in a rolling office chair, she approached me with the feater, and started to very gently tickle the underside of my prick. I tried to resist, if you can believe that, but in just a minute or less, I was hard as a rock.

Putting the feather down, she grabbed my foreskin between the thumb and forefinger of each handn and pulled down.

“Ouch!” That hurt!

She immediately let go and then after a few seconds, she did it again, but much more lightly. This time, it didn’t hurt at all. She held the foreskin like that for around ten seconds, then let go. She did it nine more times, during which I stayed very hard and erect. In fact, by the tenth time, I was close to ejaculating. Fortunately, she was done.

That evening, she and my dad had a little talk with me, and they decided they were going to be sure the exercises were done, either by me, or otherwise.

I assured them I’d do it myself.

But being a typical 18-year-old, I guess I forgot again. I was rather involved in baseball in those days, and everything else, even brushing my teeth, could be forgotten.

So, two days later, my dad had me on the bed, and did the same thing to me. Interestingly, I didn’t need him to do anything to get me hard. I was erect as soon as he announced he was going to do the thing. He was a bit rougher, but it didn’t really hurt. With him, I did ejaculate. He seemed momentarily taken aback by that, muttering, “Sorry.”

To make a long story short, the whole family got involved, especially my sister, who seemed to get a kick out of doing my exercises for me. I often feigned laziness, so someone would do it to me, rather than having to do it myself. No one seemed to mind, especially me. Over the course of a year, I grew to really love the exercise. Sometimes, I’d do it to myself. It pretty much replaced my regular jack-off routine. And, I have to admit that I didn’t mind that it was required twice a day. I came nearly every time. At first my parents were kind of stand-offish about me ejaculating in their hands. But being the hippies they are, they learned to take it in stride, and more than once went out of their way to explain to me, as if I needed to hear it, that it was a therapeutic routine, nothing sexual about it.

My sister, on the other hand, jerked me off – I mean, administered the exercises – with delight. On a couple of occasions, I reciprocated by ‘playing doctor’ with her, which she seemed to really enjoy. Basically, it was me just rubbing her clit until she orgasmed. Oddly, and I guess naturally, we never went beyond that sexually. I mean, we are brother and sister, after all.

It all came to an end about a year later, when we all pretty much knew the exercises had worked as promised. I was able to retract my foreskin all the way, and easily return it to position even when fully hard. Plus, my sister headed back to university, and I was headed off to junior college.

Sometimes, my wife delights in me retelling her this story, and she always wants to reinact the scene. At various times she pretends to be my father, my mother, or my sister. Sometimes, she plays the role of the nurse practitioner, doing things that an actual nurse practitioner would never do.


Pheromones: sexual scents that are mostly undetectable consciously, but can strongly affect attractions between people. Entymologists have discovered that a male butterfly can detect the pheromones of a female butterfly from 7 miles (10 km) away, even though she secretes less than a millionth of an ounce.


Prepuce: Another name for foreskin.


Piercing: As you know, many people get piercings in their ears, navels, eyebrows and other parts of their bodies. Jewelry is generally worn in these piercings. This jewelry is usually made from inert metals or plastics. Typical forms are rings and curved or sometimes straight bars with balls on either end called barbells. A piercing can be stretched to insert this jewelry past a ball end, but will be tight enough to keep the thing from falling out.

Piercings are almost always done without any sort of anesthesia. Practitioners are often found in tattoo studios. Some people do their own piercings, but to successfully avoid infection and other complications, complete knowledge is recommended before just doing it.

What you may not know, is a man can have piercings on his penis or scrotum. The most common piercing is a Prince Albert. A hole is pushed from just inside the urethra, typically 1/4 to 1/2-inch (6 – 13 millimeters) from the meatus, through the underside of the penis in the area of the frenulum. Then a ring is applied, so that the ring enters the meatus and protrudes from the underside of the penis.


Play Piercing: This is a piercing, done without anesthesia, that is not intended to be permanent. For people who enjoy pain, it is done just for pleasure, and is allowed to heal when done. Most play piercings are performed with small diameter needles. Play piercings can be done anywhere regular piercings are done, such as eyebrow, nipple, or belly button. However, some men particularly enjoy play piercings of their penis and scrotums. As you can imagine, great care should be taken to avoid infection.


Poppers: a recreational drug in the alkyl nitrites family that when inhaled gives the recipient a brief head rush. Additionally they relax smooth muscles including in the throat and anus, making poppers especially popular in the gay and bisexual sector.

Some short and long-term health concerns, including blindness, are associated with poppers, so their legal status varies. In the United States, they can be sold only for commercial purposes. Since their composition is similar to compounds used by industry, you can buy them in sex shops and some other retail outlets as “deodorizers,” “air fresheners,” or “DVD head cleaners.”

Be careful about using poppers with Viagra or other erection enhancing drugs. You could suffer a fatal drop in blood pressure.


Post-Orgasm Stimulation: Also known as post-orgasm torture is the continuation of sexual stimulation after a man has had an ejaculation. With most men, a refractory period is required before they can be sexually active again. Soon after ejaculating, they’ll lose their erection, and lose interest in stimulation. In fact, their penis becomes very sensitive and any sort of touch can feel terrible.

With post-orgasm torture, the man is forced to endure ongoing stimulation. The effects can vary. With most men, it sends them into an almost unbearable squirming situation if they are tied down and helpless, and causes them to ask the administrator to stop, or to use a safeword. Many men are attracted to the idea of post-orgasm stimulation. They fantasize about it. But when the actual time comes, and they have ejaculated, they will usually find it unbearable.

There are a couple of tricks to overcome the unbearableness, and make it actually delightful instead. One is to be very gentle with the recipient after the ejaculation. This means continuing to handle his penis and perhaps his balls, nipples, ass, etc, but very lightly and slowly for a few minutes, Slowly, you can work back up to full stimulation. In ideal circumstances, the recipient may never lose his erection, and can be ready for a second ejaculation, sometimes within a minute or two. Practitioners of this art can have several small ejaculations in a row, maintaining their erections for hours.

The other approach is to totally relax just as the ejaculation is happening, and have the administrator stop all stimulation until the ejaculation subsides. With practice, you can reduce or even eliminate the orgasmic contractions, and a bit of cum will flow out smoothly. You may even manage dry orgasms. Unlike a full ejaculation, shortly after one of these mini-ejaculations, you’re absolutely ready for more stimulation.


Premature ejaculation: Also known as accidents, this is cumming sooner than intended. This happens more with young men than older men. With practice, most men can overcome premature ejaculation.

Edging is an enjoyable exercise that seems to help. Bring yourself as close to orgasm as you can without actually ejaculating. Stop for a while, then do it again. Repeat as often as you can.

Another technique you may find helpful is apple polishing, also known as glans rubbing or palm rubbing. Although you may be able to do this yourself to some degree, it gives you an intense feeling that makes it difficult to continue. Somewhat like tickling. So, it is best to work on apple polishing with a friend. The basic idea is that your glans is rubbed with the palm of a hand. It works better to use lube than doing it dry.


Priapism: A painful and dangerous condition in which an erection fails to subside. This can be a symptom of leukemia or sickle-cell anemia, but can also be caused by abuse. Erections should not last longer than four hours because the blood can start clotting, then reducing the erection is very difficult. A shot of pseudoepinephrine might do the job, but if not, aspiration with a huge needle, or even surgery may be required.


Prostaglandin E1: A prescription drug that goes under the brand names Caverject, Edex, and Muse. This is a liquid that can be injected into the carposa cavernosa of the penis, resulting in a hard, nearly immediate erection. It can also be taken as a urethral suppository. Typically used by the medical profession when an erection is needed, such as when testing whether a patient has a physical erectile dysfunction versus psychological, or when the penis must be hard for a surgical procedure. The injectable form often comes in a syringe with a short needle, approximately 1 cm in length, so the user doesn’t have to be concerned about what depth to penetrate.

This same drug is given to newborns with the blue baby syndrome, in which blood vessels around the heart aren’t formed right. Prostaglandine E1 expands their blood flow until surgery can be performed.


Prostate Gland: This organ can be found against the front edge of the rectum about three inches (10 cm) in. When rubbed or pressed, it offers a wonderful sensation that is somewhat similar to the “gotta pee” feeling, but better. The purpose of the prostate is to make semen, the bulk of ejaculate or cum, also known as prostatic fuid in which the sperm are supported.

Normally, the prostate is the size of a walnut. In older men, it can swell, sometimes considerably. Normally, the swelling is harmless, called BPE or benign prostate enlargement. It can become cancerous, or grow so large as to choke off the flow of urine. Cancer of the prostate usually develops slowly, and remains confined to the single organ for quite a while.

It is said that half of men who are autopsied have prostate cancer. Most never knew. Still, if you have concerns, or as part of a regular checkup, a medical professional should be consulted.

Regular exercise, good diet, and avoiding long periods of sitting reduce the risk of prostate troubles. Some say regular prostate massages are also useful. In any case, they can be quite pleasurable. The practitioner generally places a rubber gloved finger in a man’s rectum, and massages the specific area. This can be part of a more general massage, and may precede a happy ending.


Pubic Hair: As humans evolved, we lost the hair off most of our bodies except the tops of our heads, our armpits and our genital regions. Why? The theory is that the hair of the armpits and genital areas retain the sexual scents we give off, known as pheromones.

Until the 1990s, few women and fewer men removed their pubic hair. Then something changed. Most women appearing in pornography shaved, and that started to sway the general population. New techniques for hair removal also helped bring in the new trend. In time, many men who wouldn’t have dreamed of showing up in the showers or locker room with a shaved crotch started discovering that it was ‘OK.’ Now, it is perfectly normal for men to trim or shave their pubic regions.


Punching or Punch Fisting: Once one is capable of fisting, one can start to accommodate something more. The anus can become sufficiently loose to accept a fist applied rapidly. At some point the speed at which a fist can be placed in the rectum is so fast, it is almost like punching. Some women can be punch fisted in their rectums or vaginas also.

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Q-Tip: a small stick with cotton swabs on either end. This name is generally given to many kinds of cotton-tipped swabs. A swab is taken from just inside the urethra for STD testing. The cotton can be irritating to the urethra. Someone who has been swabbed without any sort of lubricant can sense stinging for up to three days after being swabbed.

Sometimes men will play with Q-Tips. They’ll usually coat them liberally with lubricant so they won’t sting the urethra. They’ll then insert one or more, sometimes competing with themselves to see how many they can insert concurrently.


Quaking: Having a very strong orgasm, or pre-orgasmic experience in which the legs and sometimes other body parts start spasming involuntarily.

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RACK: an acronym for Risk Aware Consensual Kink. This is a more extreme version of SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual) play. This kind of play can be dangerous, and assumes that all participants are aware of the risk, and willing to proceed anyway. Examples would include things like having a play piercing all the way through one’s penis, or filling a bladder with whipped cream. Dangerous, but sometimes agreed to by both parties.


Radix: The root of the penis – the portion inside the body, which is approximately as long as the external portion.


Raphe: Also known as the perineal raphe. As the male fetus becomes a baby, he starts with a clitoris. This clitoris grows outward, folds around to be tubular, and ends up being a penis. Therefore, it can be assumed that the feelings at the end of the penis when it is touched, are not entirely different than the feelings in the clitoris.

The male retains some of this early ‘femaleness’ for life. For instance, men have a ridge that runs from the underside of the penis across the scrotum and to the anus, called the raphe, which is actually the fusion of what would have become labia, had the child been a woman.


Rectum: This is the last portion of the large intestine, inside the anus, which can be a very pleasurable area for a man. Many men like sticking things through the anus into the rectum ranging from fingers to fists, and including a variety of toys including dildoes and vibrators. Many men also like to take a penis in the rectum, but this is a dangerous activity. Even with a rubber, one can get permanently sick.

Approximately three inches (10 cm) inside the anus is the prostate gland. This lays against the front edge of the rectum and can be gently pressed with one or two fingertips or toys such as an aneros or vibrator, resulting in a pleasurable sensation.


Refractory period: This is an amount of time after an ejaculation during which a man loses his ability to have another ejaculation, and generally loses interest in sexual stimulation. Continued touch of the penis during this time can be excruciating. See Post-Orgasm Stimulation. The refractory period’s length depends on many factors such as the man’s age, health, sexiness of the partner, amount of time since last ejaculation, and other factors. The typical time varies from around 15 minutes to several hours and in some cases, many days.


Reverse Prince Albert: Also known as reverse PA This piercing is like a Prince Albert, except the hole through which the jewelry is inserted is between the meatus and the upperside of the glans.


Rubbers: Six out of every hundred American men need extra-large rubbers. For the rest of us, 94 out of 100, the regular size is just fine. Just one encounter without a rubber can expose you to all sorts of STDs including HIV. And an unwanted child is like 18 years at hard labor. Most of the time you might be able to get away with it, but what about this time? If you think an opportunity will present itself, keep a rubber in a hidden compartment in your wallet. Replace it from time to time, because the material can become weak with age.

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Sadism: The practice of inflicting pain or humiliation on another person. In certain contexts, if consensual, it can have an erotic flavor.


Safeword: For men into bondage, or extreme play, a pre-arranged safeword is a good idea. If the recipient says this word, the administrator is to stop right away. The recipient generally tries not to say the word except as a last resort. Anything else that the recipient may say to the administrator will have no effect on stopping the stimulation.


Sandstone Retreat: I’ve done some studying about Sandstone Retreat, an experiment that existed between 1968 and 1972. This is a fact-based work of fiction based on that information.

I heard about Sandstone Retreat from a neighbor. Harry and I regularly talked about sexual matters when we went fishing together. It was really vulnerable conversation, but we were good friends, both married with grown children, and felt we could trust each other with our secrets. We talked about how much we enjoyed masturbation, how our wives’ sexual appetites had slowed down, teenage sexual exploits, and so on.

One day, he was just bursting to tell me about a party he and his wife had attended. It was at a place called Sandstone Retreat. I perked up when he said most of the guests at the party were naked. Naked? Really! He then told me that there were always amazing parties at Sandstone, and all I had to do was to phone them and tell them I’d like to attend. The person on the phone would conduct a brief interview, and if I wasn’t a pervert or mass-murderer, I’d be allowed to come to the party too, as long as I brought my wife.

Ah, so much for that idea! But come to think of it, how had he talked his wife into it? He didn’t. She suggested it when she heard about it from one of her clients. She was a psychologist, and had some wealthy, well-connected clients. She evidently decided that the lull in their sex life was due to lack of stimulation, lack of ‘newness’ not just some sort of hormonal downturn. When a client told her about it, she figured this Sandstone place might shake up things quite nicely.

Well, a couple of weeks later, I managed to steer a conversation with my wife to her thoughts about her recent lack of sexual interest. I let her know that I loved her, and was not trying to talk her into anything. After all, I masturbated frequently, she knew that, and it took the pressure off. But, I was wondering whether she missed our former sexual level. She did! Very much so, to my surprise. Very carefully, I talked to her about what was called “swinging.” She knew the term, and to my complete dumb-struck surprise, she said she would have brought it up long ago, but was worried I’d disapprove.

To cut the story short, we decided to give Sandstone a try. We didn’t really know what it was, but a party with naked people, and perhaps some sort of sexual activity with strangers might be the best thing in the world for our marriage, not the worst. We discussed it, and we both felt our love was strong and we could handle each other getting sexually involved with other people. After all, marriage isn’t about possession of each other. It’s not like, “You’re mine, and I’m not sharing you with anyone.” If you really love someone, you let them enjoy themselves in any way that doesn’t bring harm to themselves or others. It turns out that was one of the basic tenants of Sandstone.

So, one Saturday evening found us winding way up into the hills into Topanga Canyon, inland from Malibu, California, which is a suburb of Los Angeles. Way into the hills. The place was remarkably isolated, and I added about ten miles to the trip going back and forth looking for the final turn-off.

We arrived around 8pm, and there were already thirty or forty cars parked in the dirt parking lot and along the long, eucalyptus-lined driveway. Some of the cars were ordinary Ford Falcons and Mercury station wagons. But most were ostentatious. There were low-slung foreign sports cars, Mercedes, and even a Rolls-Royce. Hmmm, interesting already!

We parked our yellow Mustang, and admired the view of the far-away lights of Malibu as we walked quite a ways to the main house, and were greeted at the door by Marty, a fully-naked, barrel-chested short-haired gentleman about 45 years old. He was jovial and welcomed us with open arms – literally. He gave me and my wife Sandra a wonderful bear hug. Well, wonderful for her. I was a bit, well, taken aback being hugged by a naked man, who, by the way, was waving his erection around as if it didn’t matter in the slightest. When he hugged me, I felt his boner pressing momentarily against the keys in my pocket.

He brought us in, and showed us to the cloakroom, where he explained we could store as much clothing as we chose. We remained clothed at the moment, and he led us into the enormous living room. It was as large as a tennis court, and well appointed with excellent original paintings on the walls, a thick carpet, and sumptuous furniture. I asked Marty why the chairs were so short. It was as if someone had cut the legs off them. He said they had indeed cut the legs off, and told us it makes conversation more comfortable and intimate. Most of the chairs housed people, almost all of whom were stark naked. Some of them looked familiar, and I think they might have been rock musicians or movie stars. I couldn’t quite tell, them being naked and all. I immediately felt out of place with my Hawaiian shirt, shorts and sandals. I was thinking Sandra also felt over-dressed for the occasion. There were at least a dozen others standing around in conversations holding glasses of wine and snacks. They were all naked also. Over on a love seat in a bright lamp-lit corner, a woman was giving a man a blow job – right in front of everyone. I didn’t know whether it might be alright to stare at them, so I quickly looked away.

Harry and his wife Janet were there, about 30 feet away from each other. Harry introduced us to the woman who he had been talking with while looking intently into her eyes and fondling her shoulders, and Janet introduced us to the man she was talking with. Both Harry and Janet seemed totally fine with their spouses hanging with these other people. Somehow, it was momentarily shocking to see the two of them fully nude. Especially Marty, because even though we had frequently talked about sex and all that, I had never actually seen his penis. It made me feel conspicuously over-dressed again. On the other hand, I would not want to have been naked at that moment. I especially would have felt shy about Janet seeing me naked, even though pretty much everyone else was. Then too, I’m not sure I’d measure up to Harry, and some of the other men there, if you know what I mean. But then again, some of the men were smaller than me, so that helped my confidence. But what about Sandra? How would I feel about her being naked among all these people? I thought about it a moment, and the answer surprised me. I wouldn’t be worried, or jealous or anything like that. I’d actually be proud. She is quite a looker. Her Asian good looks always turned heads, and stark naked, she’s even more beautiful, with her long black hair, and pert, tight little breasts. People probably wonder what she sees in a pudge like me.

A striking woman made an entrance with a large cat on a leash. A very large, tan-colored cat with a short tail. I found out later, that’s a very friendly bobcat and one of the residents of Sandstone, they all call PC. The woman was tall, slender, had medium sized breasts (which I couldn’t help noticing), and had short-cropped curly blond hair. She was surprisingly androgynous other than her beautiful breasts, and the closely trimmed darker blond hair over her vagina. Everyone kind of turned toward her, as if she were royalty. Marty steered her over to us and made introductions. It turns out she was Barbara Williamson, co-founder with her husband John, of Sandstone Retreat.

She seemed very happy to have us as new guests to her party, and took a few minutes to explain their philosophy about open sexuality, communal living, not as hippies, but on a wealthier, more materialistic scale, loving all humans and animals too, and zero population growth, among other things. Marty told her about my novels, and she had actually read one of them. Right away, she seemed like a downright good person. And, we found out later, the feeling was mutual. During that first conversation she told us about membership, that we could become members, spending full weekends there, for $240 per year. Marty took us aside after the conversation and said, “Barb really likes you two. She never invites people to be members until she has really checked them out.”

Next, we were shown the Olympic size swimming pool, and noticed a half dozen naked people milling about in the water. They didn’t seem cold, which is not typical for idling in typical pools. I stuck my hand in and found the water was warm. Marty told us the temperature is maintained at 92 degrees, to make the water more inviting and intimate.

Finally, we went downstairs to the ‘ballroom.’ That’s what they called it. It was as large as a descent ballroom, but it wasn’t a ballroom in the typical sense. It would be difficult for lots of people to dance in there. First of all, the floor was covered in wall to wall shag carpet. Spread randomly on the floor were more than a dozen mattresses. The lighting was colored and subdued. In a moment, Sandra nudged me and whispered, “Do you know why they call it a ballroom? It’s because people ball in here.” That was a term people often used at the time for fucking. And sure enough, there were two couples who were, well, doing things.

One of the couples were just finishing a handjob, by the looks of things. She was a very white woman who probably hadn’t been out in the sun in a long time, judging by her lack of tan, and the other was a very black man, who was getting up just as we approached. His non-circumcised penis was still hard and glistening from what she had just been doing to him. I realized he wasn’t very tall, maybe 5′ 7″ or so, and noticed that one eye stared straight ahead. Holy mackerel! It was Sammy Davis Jr. I was shaking Sammy Davis Jr’s hand! As he was telling me he too had read my books, every single one of them, he was stark naked, and his penis was still partially erect. My wife was flattered beyond belief as he kissed the back of her hand, then gave her a big, old bear hug.

Well, there was only one thing we could do after that. Sandra and I went back up to the cloakroom, removed all our clothing, and enjoyed the party.

We returned the next weekend as full-fledged members, and after a month moved into one of the cabins on the property. Since our kids were now out of the house, we knew Sandstone would be the perfect retirement for us. We were a bit young to retire, but the money was there. We were now full-time, live-in Sandstone volunteers. Since I had been a writer and fairly well-known public speaker, my job was to handle publicity and public relations. Actually, John Williamson did most of the appearances, such as on the Johnny Carson show, but I spoke at corporate events, local news interviews, and all the things John didn’t have time for. Sandra became the primary telephone person, answering the dozens of calls that came in to the retreat every day. We stayed until John and Barbara were ready for new adventures and sold the retreat property in 1972. It was a somewhat sad time, but we were happy for them. PC had become so much a part of their lives, that they were planning to start a new kind of retreat. A place in Oregon to take care of big cats including lions and tigers. Sandra and I bought ourselves a motorhome and decided to tour America’s nude beaches. We decided it might be fun to try to discover every nude beach in America, and have been working on that project ever since.


San Francisco: This city of just under one million people, surrounded by Oakland, Berkely and Marin County is regarded as one of the leading LGBT capitals of the world. There are many private meetings and get-togethers as well as public venues, such as the Steamworks in Berkeley, SF Jacks, and the Masturbate-A-Thon in the city itself, and Body Electric, also in Berkeley.

There used to be a large, old three-story warehouse in the heart of the city that housed the Power Exchange. This was a venue that people could enter on weekend nights with all sorts of play facilities and scenarios. There were buckets with packets of lube and condoms scattered around, and all sorts of furniture and rooms, such as dungeons, slings, and a room with a bank of TVs playing various forms of porn. Attendees to the Power Exchange were primarily heterosexual or bi, with almost as many women as men in attendance. It helped matters that women were admitted with no cover charge on some evenings. Men typically started out wearing towels, but ended up discarding their towels as the evening wore on.

Perhaps one of the most fascinating aspects of San Francisco is public nudity. Until recently, it was legal to appear without clothing in public. That law was changed to being a misdemeanor as it is in most communities a few years ago, but is seldom enforced. There were times you could see naked people, mostly men, strolling around, catching buses, and even occasionally wanking at bus stops.


Scrotum: The bag of skin that contains the testicles. Many men do not pay much attention to the scrotum, but may learn in time that very pleasurable sensations can be had in the scrotum. One of many mens’ favorite techniques is to very lightly brush the scrotum with a soft brush, a very light touch of a fingertip, or the corner of a sheet of toilet paper. For best results, start with remarkably light strokes, some of which may not touch the scrotum at all. In fact, just touching the hairs on the scrotum does the job nicely, causing a delicious feeling. This is best done early in a session, leading up to more intense activities only after the scrotum has been satisfied.

Another technique many men like is to grab the bottom of the scrotum below the testicles with the curled up fingers of one hand, so it can be firmly pulled. Be careful about fingernails, they do not add pleasure to the situation. Simply pulling and holding the scrotum is quite enjoyable. Along the same lines, the scrotum can be grabbed with two hands and stretched out as much as possible. When loose and warm, you may be surprised how many square inches of scrotum you have.

A few men enjoy scrotum piercing. Like any such technique, risk of infection is high, although less high than piercing the testicles themselves. The scrotum, unlike the testicles, can sustain one or more long-term piercings. One common type is a single small ring on one side, toward the top of the scrotum. Another is a scrotal ladder, consisting of a series of rings or small ball-ended bars in a vertical line up the middle of the scrotum.

Until a handful of years ago, very few men would even consider shaving or otherwise removing the hair from their scrotums. I mean, what would the guys at the gym think? But these days, it is becoming increasingly common. The most typical hair removal is total shaving of the scrotum and along the inner legs where the scrotum is frequently in contact, and trimming the hair above the genital region. The first few days may be itchy, and you may be surprised to feel the scrotum sticking to the legs when you are sweaty – something you might not have felt since adolescence, but these sensations normalize in a few days.


Sensory Decline: The very lightest touch a man can detect is called the sensory threshold. After age 25, men have a slight decline in sensory threshold. Between ages 65 and 75, the sensory decline is greater. But have no fear, there’s plenty of feeling left at any age to have a great time.


Silk: And other forms of cloth. You’ll find that very lightly laying silk, satin, burlap, or other materials against your nipples, your inner thighs, your buttocks, your penis, or scrotum, can be unique and exciting. If you enjoy more intense feelings, have someone stroke your glans with cloth.


Simultaneous Orgasm: When a woman and man have an orgasm at the same time during intercourse or other forms of sex, that’s a simultaneous orgasm. It is a remarkably enjoyable experience for both parties, and something that many couples work toward with plenty of practice.

One of the best techniques to achieve simultaneous orgasm is to have the woman facing downward on her hands and knees while the man enters her from behind. The man works on edging or holding back from orgasming too soon, while the woman may stimulate her clitoris with the fingers of one hand at the same time. Communication is helpful, so the man knows when to hold back and when to let go, and the woman can bring about, or delay her orgasm.

The man can sometimes feel her orgasmic contractions while he is in her vagina or anus, and that will sometimes trigger his orgasm within a second or two. And it can work the other way too, where the man cums first, and the woman feels the orgasm and follows suit. While there may be a momentary difference when both people start their orgasms, as long as they are orgasming concurrently for at least part of the time, that qualifies as simultaneous.

Simultaneous orgasms can happen in other scenarios as well, such as with two men jacking at the same time, or when one is butt fucking the other while the recipient is masturbating.


Size: As it turns out, there is very little correlation between the height of a man, and the length of his penis. You cannot tell the size of a man’s penis by the size of his shoes, his hands, or his nose. For that matter, from a man’s penis, you cannot tell the size of his wallet.

Size isn’t as big an issue as you might imagine. The vast majority of men have erect penises between 5.5 and 6.5 inches (14 to 16.5 cm) in length. The longest penis ever recorded was 13.5 inches (34.3 cm), owned by Jonah Falcon of New York City. The shortest: 17 mm (5/8-inch). This latter may have been a case of hermaphroditism.

The proper way to measure an erect penis is to run a ruler from the base of the penis right at the top of where it joins the body to the tip. Do not press into the body. Do not stretch the penis beyond it’s normal erect length. Circumference can also be measured. Wrap a string or tape measure around the penis. The diameter is only around an inch, but the circumference may amaze you.

Several surveys have been conducted among women. They report that slightly longer than average penises are best for vaginal orgasms. They also report that extra-long penises can be painful, banging against the cervix or back of the vaginal canal.


Skin Bridge: You’d think that since surgeons are capable of micro-surgery, tying together blood vessels almost too small to see, that a simple circumcision ought to be easy enough to get right. But often, circumcisions are botched. A classic result is a skin bridge, in which some of the skin from the side of the penis attaches to the corona. The attachment heals, and becomes permanent, unless corrected by additional surgury later on. Of course the surgery to detach a skin bridge is trivial, but many boys and men opt not to do it. Your author knows an adult who has a skin bridge on the left side of his penis. It seems not to adversely affect him in any way.


Slave: in many BDSM scenes, the participants take on roles of “master” and “slave.” The slave must do as the master says, and is often treated ‘badly’ by the master. This is consensual. Among couples the scenario is often maintained in daily life, at least at times, such as when attending parties.


Sling: A hammock-like device typically fastened to the ceiling with chains in which a man can lay, or be tied in a form of BDSM bondage. Once in the sling, the man may pleasurably suffer at the hands of a practitioner anything from gentle milking to heavy-duty fisting.


Smoking: Studies have proven that smoking cigarettes can make it more difficult to get erect, and the dicks of smokers actually shorten over time. A specific scientific study found that smokers had shortened their penises by almost a half-inch (1 cm).


Sounding: Some men will enjoy pushing long, thin things into their urethras, This is called sounding. Items used include pens, ball bearings, knitting needles, aquarium air tubing, and doubled up electrical cords, as well as plastic and stainless steel rods made specially for sounding called sounds. This is a dangerous activity because the lining of the urethra is very fragile. An item with even a very slight irregularity can tear the urethra. The urethra is also very prone to infection. If you must play with sounding, makes sure your sounds are sterilized. Make sure your hands, penis, and everything you set the sounds on are also sterile. Finally, let the sounds fall into your penis of their own weight. Don’t push.

Some men will sound into only the first few inches, but others push items all the way in past their urinary sphincters to their bladders.

At first, sounding stings most men. It can be sufficiently uncomfortable that they never want to try it again. With some men, or if the sounding is done very gently with lots of good lube, it can be painless from the very first time. Even if it doesn’t sting when going in or out, be careful, the stinging may start up the next time you urinate, and last several days.

Being fucked from the inside out is an interesting, and delightful feeling, if it doesn’t sting. If you sound deeply enough to get into the prostate and the sphincters, you’ll find the unusual version of a ‘gotta pee’ feeling quite interesting.

You might enjoy reading about my inconvenient sounding mistake:

The first night of a week-long business convention, I came back to my hotel, and started to watch some very mild porn on the cable TV. That got me horned up. Lately, I had been entertaining the idea of sounding – putting things in one’s peehole, and I noticed there was a complimentary pen in the room. Oh, that pen was just the ticket. It was long, round, and came nearly to a point at the back end, then tapered gently to a rather fat portion where one grips it, then tapered back down toward the point. It had the hotel’s name and phone number printed along the side. The whole pen was smooth, and I had learned that smooth is important because the inside of the urethra is sensitive. But what to use for lubricant? The only thing in the hotel room was a complimentary tube of shampoo. Hey, I was thinking, that’s viscous, right? It should do nicely.

I got immediately hard just thinking about what I was planning. I turned up the thermostat and watched a bit more of the mild porn until the room warmed up nicely. Then I took off all my stuff, stepped in the shower, got out, toweled off, savoring my erection the whole time.

Now, I was ready. I hopped on the bed with the tube of shampoo, and squirted some on the pen, spreading it all around the pen with my forefinger. Just to be on the safe side, I squirted a drop or two of shampoo directly onto my peehole, as well, but wasn’t bold enough to actually squirt some inside. OK, so I grabbed the pen, and slowly, ever so slowly, started sliding it’s long pointy end into my urethra. And it felt great. Well, a bit stingy, but not bad. I pushed it in further, and wham, I started ejaculating, quickly pulling the pen back out. Damn, that ejaculation stung a bit. And around my peehole was swollen a bit in a way I’ve never seen it before. Well, it must have been the shampoo. No big deal, right?

Wrong! Within a half-hour, my penis was not only stinging, it was aching at the same time. So badly I couldn’t stand entirely upright. I started worrying big time! I guess the shampoo wasn’t such a good idea. An hour later, I had to pee, but I knew it would be the worst, most awful stinging sensation of my life, so I held it quite a while. Finally, there was no way out. I was going to have to pee.

I sat in the bathtub, because it was too painful even to sit on the toilet. My dick was weirdly shaped. Kind of swollen, so it was longer and bigger around than a flaccid penis, but not like an erection. Kind of fat and soft. And the peehole itself was so swollen it was slightly protruding. Finally, I let out a tiny squirt of piss. Like maybe a teaspoon, and instantly recoiled in pain. Oh worries! I still had a lot of pee to go. I tried to relax and just tell myself it was going to hurt, and there was nothing that could be done other than to be relaxed as I could, and just let it flow. But no, I was able to relax only enough to let it out in small squirts, followed by a minute or so between each squirt of attempting to recover. I was just letting the little squirts flow out over my belly in the bath. I’d clean up later. Finally, I was done peeing, and I tried to go to sleep. Sleep was a long time coming. I was hoping by morning everything would be back to normal.

Wrong again! The morning urination was a repeat of the night before. Tiny little squirts, a minute apart, and totally stinging. The dick was still weirdly swollen, and still ached along with the stinging.

It took a while to get my clothes on, and get ready for the meeting. I took a cab even though the convention center was a block away. It hurt too much to walk. I spent the day standing in a hunched over position. I told people I had hurt my back. Around noon, and then in the late afternoon I had to pee again. I went into the toilet stalls in a restroom, and took my sweet, stinging time about it, trying hard not to yell out when the urine flowed and reactivated the sting to its fullest.

By that evening, the swelling had gone down a bit. I was fantastically relieved. I had started to entertain concern about having to go to the hospital, and of course I’d have to admit what I’d done. But now it was looking like that wouldn’t be necessary.

The next morning, the ache was gone, until my morning pee. Same thing, small, totally stinging spurts, and the ache returned. But not the swelling. By the end of the day, the ache was finally gone, and the stinging was reduced to occurring only after peeing for an hour or so. I was a bit less hunched over the next day.

A few days later, my better judgment got the best of me, and I had to try jerking off. The ache came back for a few minutes, and when I ejaculated, it stung pretty intensely. But it was still somewhat enjoyable.

At the end of the week, I was pretty much back to normal, and went home a stupid, but happy man. I’ll never repeat that mistake, but I have jerked off a number of times to the memory of it. You wouldn’t think such a thing could make a person horny, but I guess there’s something inexplicably alluring in that memory.

See also, Catheter Play and Urethral Stretching.


Spanking: There are men who like being spanked. For some, this soothes a psychological reflection on the past when they were children. For others, it is just plain erotic. Spanking is usually light and ritualistic, but can be severe enough to break the skin and cause bruising in a RACK BDSM scenario. Spanking is often part of the BDSM scene and sometimes the CMNM. scene. One common scenario is that a man has his pants pulled down and is laid face down on another man’s lap, at which point he receives a spanking on his butt.

Some men prefer spankings consisting of occasional slaps while they are having intercourse. Others like to have their balls or even their penis mildly spanked.


Sperm: Sperm swim at the rate of 7 inches (17.78 cm) per hour.


Sphincter: A ring of muscle that controls the flow of liquid. In this case, we are talking about the urinary sphincters. Most men don’t realize there are two of them, a short distance apart. One is mostly involuntarily controlled, and the other is voluntarily controlled. This is why sometimes when you want to pee, it takes a moment to get started.

Men who practice catheter play or sounding can feel the sphincters when they are penetrated. You’ll feel a sudden but sort of sweet ‘gotta pee’ feeling as the object passes through each sphincter.


Spider: The male spider carries his penis at the end of one of his legs.


Spikes: Human ancestors as recently as 700,000 years ago seem to have had spikes on their penises, much like cats have.


Spinal Cord: The directive to ejaculate is sent from the spinal cord, not the brain. That’s part of the reason why you can’t just command yourself to ejaculate whenever you want.


SSC: Safe, Sane and Consensual. This term, often applied in discussion of BDSM is all about the limits of acceptability. Consensual play is all good and well, as long as it remains consensual. See also: Safeword.


Stamps: Sometimes nighttime girth is measured by medical professionals to help diagnose erectile dysfunction. A ring of postage stamps is stuck together around the flaccid penis as a man turns in for the night. In the morning, if the stamps are broken, the man has had an erection, and so he doesn’t have a physical problem, leaving the other possibility: A psychological problem.


Sucking: also known as blowjob or sucking cock, this is the activity of entertaining a man’s penis in one’s mouth.

The expression This sucks! has been sanitized by long-term general use, but originates from the concept of sucking cock.


Sildenafil: A drug prescribed for erectile dysfunction, and used recreationally to enhance erections. See Viagra.


Standardized Patient: This is a person who is paid to pose as a medical patient so nurses and doctors in training can learn their procedures. These days, many procedures are learned on plastic anatomically-correct models. But there’s still that needs to be learned from real, live people, who can say, “Ouch!” Doctors and nurses can only do so much on each other, eventually they need standardized patients. These are people are often other college students and general members of the community who would enjoy being paid well for a few hours of work.

Most of the procedures are relatively routine and painless, such as getting a general physical exam, having blood drawn, or an EKG. But the medical personnel do need to learn everything, and that would include digital rectal exam, hernia check, and urinary catheterization. Some standardized patients really enjoy these situations. If a standardized patient should develop an erection during a procedure, the students are typically told that it’s normal, they should put the patient at ease, and generally ignore it. If the standardized patient becomes erect early on, things can get interesting as each student in succession continues to do whatever it is they have to do to this person while he is erect.


Sub: As in subdominant. This refers to a scenario in which two participants, typically in BDSM scenes, take roles in which one is dominant, and the other is subdominant. Of course the dominant one gives orders, possibly even making demands, that the “sub” has to carry out.


Suppository: A medicine administered by placing a capsule or pellet in a body cavity other than the mouth. Most suppositories are administered anally, but some, such as Prostaglandin E1, an immediate erection-causing agent, are placed in the urethra.

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Tantra: The western notion of tantra has evolved into something quite far removed from its Asian Indian origins. People think of tantric activities as strictly sexual. We Americans do like our ‘tantric massages.’ There is no standard, but the typical tantric massage involves regular massage, followed by a long handjob, in which the goal is to not cum, but just enjoy the sensations. Some tantric practitioners have a technique they call the big draw. You may need to do your own research to understand it better, but the idea, as I understand it, is you tense up all your muscles, and drawn in a big breath just as you are about to ejaculate, which kills the ejaculation, but maintains the orgasm.


Tattoo: Some men enjoy getting tattoos on their penis, or scrotum. The glans is the most common target. It certainly must feel interesting while the tattoo is being applied. A few have had very small tattoos just inside their peeholes. That, too, must be an interesting sensation, but it probably doesn’t last as long as one would like.

Recent scientific studies have shown that tattoo ink can cause health problems, so your author recommends being careful about how much tattoo ink you add to your body.


TENS: Transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation. Used in the medical profession, TENS units apply a small, varying electric current through areas of skin to reduce pain. In erotic play, called electro-stimulation or estim, TENS is used to produce arousal or even orgasms. If you choose to play with estim, be careful about accidentally damaging your eyes or brain or giving yourself a heart attack by passing the current through your head, neck or chest.


Testicles: A pair of glands located in a sack of skin called the scrotum below the penis. Often ignored by the man in sex and masturbation, the testicles, also known as the balls can be a source of pleasure.

Many men enjoy a light massage of the testicles. When done by a friend, this can make the man feel quite vulnerable since someone could squeeze too hard and hurt the testicles. This vulnerability can raise arousal. Men have been known to have orgasms just from testicle massage.

More men than you might expect enjoy a firm testicle massage, if it is done properly. First, the person giving the massage must be careful to avoid pressing on the top back sides of the testicles where the blood vessels and spermatic cords attach, a some what puffy structure behind each testicle called the epididymis. Pressing there is suddenly and severely painful, although probably harmless unless the pressure is rather extreme.

If you avoid the sensitive areas and get the angles right, you can press remarkably firmly on some men’s balls, and not only does it not hurt them, they love it.

The testicles themselves are contained in a tough, pliable skin. They’re more like chicken gizzards than grapes. You probably cannot injure a testicle with ordinary hand pressure. If you were to apply pressure or impact with any sort of instrument with a sharp edge, that could cause an injury. However you can manage to tear the epididymis away from a testicle, and that would be bad news.

A factor that helps in having a man enjoy a firm testicle massage is to build up slowly. Start with light pressure, and watch the man’s physiology. He may suddenly jump or squirm if you’ve pressed too hard, or have the wrong angle.

Some men like one testicle massaged at a time. The majority enjoy both at the same time, one in each hand. being manipulated between thumbs and forefingers.

Techniques vary. You can squeeze and hold, you can pulsate, and your can make the balls squish back and forth in your grip like little bars of wet soap. Your man will let you know what he likes, and does not like.

Keep in mind that there are some men who do not like testicle manipulation at all.

Men generally can tell a difference between one testicle and the other. One can take more pressure, or feels differently when massaged, than the other.

Impacts to the testicles can cause severe pain. Again, some men will play with this, having a friend slap their balls or hit them with an object, such as a wooden spoon. The usual approach is to start with light hits, and then build up until the man says “Stop!”

Another activity that some men enjoy is testicle bondage. It is easy to find cord, string or anything similar and wrap it around the upper part of the scrotum, locking the balls in the lower part of the scrotum. This is sometimes used in testicle play to keep them available, rather than letting the testicles slip up into the body cavity. It can be enjoyable in itself, in a ritualistic way.

Please be careful if you engage in testicle bondage. Do not use small diameter thread or string, as this can cut or bruise the structures within the scrotum. Tying the scrotum very tightly can cut off circulation to the testicles as well as the scrotum. It is interesting to see the scrotum turn blue, but a bit dangerous, as well. Obviously, the circulation should be cut off for only a short time, otherwise the testicles can literally die. When the circulation is restored, the testicles can feel any combination of tingly, heavy, full, and somehow more vibrant.

However there is one more caution that you should be aware of in testicle bondage: The extreme pressure on the spermatic cords and blood vessels can cause a cyst to form. These are usually just a harmless new lump in the scrotum, but can become large, and painful.

Testicles can be trouble-prone, especially for young men. Testicular cancer seldom affects men over age 40, but is a fairly common form of cancer in younger men. Periodically feeling the balls for lumps or changes is a good idea. If something does change, consult a medical professional before things get worse. Fortunately, most such bumps and changes are minor or benign, such as cysts within the epididymis.

Your author once read of an account where a man’s wife squeezed his testicles hard, for a fairly long time. When she finally let go, they were soft and squishy. Evidently, the blood or fluid was forced out of them, and took a while to return. I tried this with a friend, having him squeeze somewhat beyond a point of mild pain, and hold them for a good two or three minutes. When he let go, he felt my balls, and then I felt my balls, and could not determine any unusual softness softness. I feel like this experiment is not yet over. I’m interested in having him, or someone, try it again, but harder and for longer.


Tickling: Some men hate it, others love it. Most tickling activities require two people because it is hard to tickle yourself and put up with it. If you like very intense tickling, get a friend to hold you down, or tie you down, and apply a very light touch with a feather, brush or fingertips.

A word of caution: You may involuntarily pee while being tickled.

Variations include foot, armpit, sides of chest and belly tickling. You may find that the inside top of your thighs, right near your scrotum are particularly ticklish.

For many affeccionados of tickling, being naked, and tied down in front of your friends, or even strangers is particularly exciting.

Some men are very sensitive to tickling of their scrotums and their frenulums.


Tight: A fun variation of masturbation is to pull the skin of the shaft, or the foreskin, all they way down with the thumbs and forefingers of each hand, and holding it there. The sensation is less powerful than some things you can do, but continuing to hold the skin allows an orgasmic feeling to build which can eventually lead to orgasm.


Top: A man who is more of an administrator, or giver of treatments than receiver. This is especially true in BDSM scenarios. The term originated from men who prefer to be the one pushing their penises into other men’s rectums rather than receiving anal sex. The man doing the pushing frequently lays on top of the other man, referred to as the bottom. In scenes besides anal sex, the bottom is usually the receiver of treatments given by the top.

Many men self-assign roles of top or bottom early in life, and tend to stay within their specialty.

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Ureter: One of two small and fragile tubes connecting the kidneys to the bladder.


Urethra: The tube connecting the bladder to the outside world. It is around 12 to 14 inches (30 to 35 cm) in length. It is the same tube that conveys semen from the prostate gland where it is mixed with sperm. The urethra is prone to infection, and the lining is easily torn, so be very careful if you play with it.


Urethral Stretching: This is a practice some men enjoy, but others would find too painful to even think about. The ideas is to stick larger and larger things into your peehole (meatus) to stretch it. Some men have surgically expanded their peeholes to accommodate items larger than they could before. There are two restrictions on urethral stretching. The first is the opening itself, the meatus, the second restriction is about 1/2-inch (1 cm) into the urethra. Once past these two obstacles, items can slide in several inches without interference. Just like sounding, this needs to be done with caution to avoid both physical injury and infection.


Urination: More commonly known as peeing or pissing. Some men at some times find this act surprisingly erotic. Some men play with it. One version is to hold one’s urine as long as possible, resulting an a spectacular flow when they finally do urinate.

Another form of play involves blocking the flow of urine. One way is to wrap the end of the penis in cloth to protect the skin, and then bind it tightly with string or rubber bands. A simpler version is to simply squeeze the meatus closed with thumb and forefinger. Yet another version is to bind the penis just ahead of, or behind the scrotum. In the latter case, the spermatic cords are also bound, which can be a bit dangerous.

What happens is that at first the urethra fills with some urine. You can see the penis, whether hard or soft at the time, swell and curve upward. After a moment, if the urine isn’t released, the body starts involuntary contractions to force it out. Many men have never experienced these contractions. They are much stronger than orgasmic contractions. These are remarkably powerful and can be quite painful. The pain usually occurs where the the penis is bound as the urethra is stretched by the pressure. Unless the binding is very tight, some urine will be forced out of the penis.

If the binding is too tight, you may be causing a problem, as the contractions may be too powerful, causing extreme pain or damage when the urine cannot escape.

Human evolution probably developed this strong spasming or contracting reaction to help rid the body of bladder stones.

This practice may be dangerous, as unnatural forces are built up, potentially causing damage to the urethra, ureters, or even the kidneys.

A safer version is to squeeze the end of your penis until it fills with urine, then let go so a heavy-duty splat of urine flows out. Then squeeze it again, and release another high-pressure, high-volume spurt of urine. Continue, and perhaps vary the frequency, so you can have a sort of pulsating urination.

Uncircumcised men enjoy urinating into their foreskin, temporarily held closed with thumb and forefinger.

You might also be interested in peegasm, the skill of ejaculating and urinating at the same time.


Urology: The study of both the male and female urinary system, and the male genital system. Urologists are doctors specializing in treatment of urological disorders. Both men and women practice this branch of medicine, so if you need to see a urologist, you may be examined by a man or a woman. Unfortunately, a big part of the practice of urology has to do with prostate troubles. Whereas you might think that urology almost always focuses on the penis, urologists also treat diseases of the bladder and kidneys.

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Vacuum Pump: Those interested in penis enlargement may enjoy playing with a vacuum pump, also known as penis pump. This is a tube that is placed around the penis, and pushed down against the base, making an air-tight seal. A hose at the top of the tube is attached to a pump, typically operated by hand, that builds a vacuum. The penis will enlarge when the air is removed, but long-term effects are debatable. The maximum pressure is around minus 14 pounds per square inch, since that’s atmospheric pressure at sea level, so the penis pump is probably harmless to most men. In order to work well, the man should shave the hair above the balls so a good seal is maintained. While the use of a penis pump may not result in long-term enlargement, it is undoubtedly fun to play with.


Vasectomy: A surgical operation involving cutting and tying the vas deferens, the tubes that carry ejaculate, so pregnancy becomes unlikely. Note that for a few weeks after the operation a man can still be fertile due to risidual sperm. A version called “bloodless” uses only two very small incisions. Healing is quick. The pain normally lasts few days. In a few cases, pain persists and can be quite an ongoing complication, sometimes requiring additional surgery to correct.

Now and then, a man regrets having an vasectomy, or his situation changes. Reversing the operation, meaning to reattach the tubes, is sometimes, but not always possible.


Viagra: One of the Sildenafil family of drugs, this is prescribed for erectile dysfunction, and used recreationally for enhancing erections.

Although there are some short and long-term health concerns, Use of Viagra and other similar drugs, such as Cialis, is widespread. The health concerns include possibility of heart attack, erections that won’t do down (priapism), and sudden deafness (really!).

Be careful about using Viagra or any erection enhancing drugs with poppers, since that can bring about a fatal drop in blood pressure.

Some research indicates that recreational use does not enhance erections, yet the placebo effect may take care of that just fine for most men. On the other hand, it has been shown to reduce the refractory period, so that men can continue to enjoy sexual activities after an initial ejaculation.

Your author has not taken Viagra himself, but recently played with a guy who tried a half-tablet of the similar drug, Cialis. Having played with this fellow in the past, I knew it took quite a bit of effort to get him hard. He usually didn’t become erect until after a half-hour of play. On this occasion, it took the drug about fifteen minutes to work. At that point, he became as hard as I had ever seen him, stayed hard for an hour or more of edging – rather than the usual hard-soft-hard cycling, and then came with a very strong ejaculation. We did not test that evening to see whether he could have had a short refractory period, but that may have been the case.


Vibrator: Initially considered toys for women, men are discovering that vibrators can be fun for us, too. Among the best places to hold a vibrator are on the underside of the glans, the base of the penis near the anus, and on the scrotum.

Small vibrators are made that can be placed in the urethra.


Virgins: In the fourteen years between 1770 and 1784, King Fatefehi of Tonga stuck his penis into more than 37,000 virgins.

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Wanker: A term referring to someone who masturbates. In the United Kingdom, this has become such a generic term that it has almost lost its sexual connection. There, it more commonly means someone who is ‘out of it’ or a sort of ‘loser.’

Soon, in the way that “awful” used to mean ‘full of awe’ and came to have an opposite meaning, wanker may become a compliment. In recent years, discussion of masturbation has come more into the open. Now, almost everyone will admit they do it, if asked. Some are starting to champion masturbation, especially when in conversation with young people. It is the safe way to have sex, after all, and of course has many health benefits. So, if trends continue, we may come to understand wanker to mean something entirely different, a sort of hero, or individualist, one who isn’t afraid to be who he is, and do what he likes doing.


Watersports: This refers to playing with urination. In most versions of watersports one person urinates on another. Sometimes a man will urinate in another man’s ass. An advanced, and possibly dangerous variation would be for two men, or a man and woman, to share a catheter and exchange urine back and forth.

Another variation is mostly solo play: As you are urinating, stop and start periodically, and really enjoy the peeing, and ‘holding-it’ feeling. You can do this just with your PC muscle or by squeezing and letting go of your penis. The latter can be done rapidly, in a pulsating fashion for an interesting sensation.


Wet Dreams: In order to maintain good health, a man needs to have erections and ejaculations from time to time. If you try to avoid ejaculating entirely, your body takes care of that for you by giving you ejaculations in your sleep, known as “wet dreams.”


Whale: The longest penis in the animal kingdom is attached to a blue whale and can measure beyond 8 feet (244 cm) in length.

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XHamster.com: A general porn video website with many user-submitted movies that contains something for everyone.


X-Treme Sex: Sexual practices that go beyond the normal and may border on dangerous, such as masturbating or having intercourse in public locations, genital modification or sounding.


XTube.com – a website with thousands of user-submitted videos. A large portion of the website is male-oriented, but heterosexuals will find plenty of interesting material there also. Some of the videos are quite specific, not just endless guy sucking guy or guy banging guy videos. For instance if you want to see guys walking on the beach with erections, CFNM (Clothed Female, Naked Male), incest scenes, body modification and more, you’ll find it at XTube.


XXX: A designation indicating strong pornography.


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Your author:

I’ve been fascinated by the penis and related equipment since before I can remember. I remember in my pre-adolescent years trying to talk my friends, both boys and girls, into playing doctor, or other reasons to strip. At the time, I didn’t know anything about sex, so once we got to see and generally touch each other’s genitals, that was about the extent of it.

It wasn’t until many years later that I started to define myself more specifically. I’m on the bisexual scale, but leaning more toward the hetero side. I’m happily married, but still enjoy casual encounters with men from time to time.

But, my personal definition is more specific than that. It turns out I’m a handjob specialist. I really like getting and giving handjobs. I also like related activities such as apple polishing, also known as glans rubbing, and firm testicle massage. On the other hand, I don’t like kissing, frotting, oral, or anal with men. I like kissing, anal sex and just about everything else with my wife, however. Go figure!

Perhaps one reason I lean toward handjobs is that I’ve always been safety conscious. I don’t want to risk any sort of disease, and handjobs are about the safest sex one can have.

I’m also a bit of an exhibitionist. I have also enjoyed groups such as Thursday evenings at Body Electric in Berkeley, circle jerks and the Masturbate-A-Thon That’s just me. Your tastes and experiences may be way different, and that’s just fine, of course!


Youth: In our youth, many of us men were experimental with other young men. Many of us did anything from playing doctor to anal sex, with most such activities being fleeting experiences involving wanking side by side while watching a porn movie, possibly jerking each other off, or maybe giving and getting blowjobs. Oh, many men would have preferred to play with women, and some did manage that, but most of the young women were too cautious to just fool around casually, and most young men don’t know how to approach women. Dating a woman is a learned skill. On those occasions when young men were able to have some sort of sexual encounter with women, it was almost always handjobs or blowjobs. The following is a typical youth story, told to me by a client:

I don’t know if this is the kind of thing you want to write about, but here’s a little story you might like. It’s totally true, as I’m sure you’ll figure out. I mean, who could make this stuff up, and why would they? I’m a little embarrassed to tell it, but, well, not really.

So, my friends John and Brian and I were hanging out at John’s house, which we often did. His parents were seldom home, so we could do anything. We had been high school buddies, and now we were in junior college. By the way, we all did well, went on to various universities, and now are professionals with our own families and so on.

Even though his parents were seldom there, we never did anything that you’d call bad at his house. Oh, we snuck a bottle of Jack Daniels once and sampled it. We didn’t even get drunk, as I recall. We were good kids. Anyway…

This one time, Brian pulled a video out of his backpack. It was in the days of VHS tapes. Remember those? Kids these days don’t even know what “rewind” means. So, we figured it would be a basketball game or something. He announced it was a porn video. Brian and I immediately sat up straight. A porn video? Really? Oh, we were instantly excited.

Brian made a production out of putting it in the VCR. First he asked whether we really wanted to see it. Then he said it was probably too severe for us – it would bend our minds. Finally, John and I jumped on him, wrestled it out of his hands, and put it in the player.

A moment of snow on the screen, then opening credits. And them three people, two men and a woman, getting together in someone’s living room. Not very exciting so far, but of course we knew it would get better. There was rapt attention in the room. No of us said a word. More of the three people, in their clothes, pouring drinks and so on. We couldn’t stand it. Finally Brian grabbed the remote and fast-forwarded to where they’re playing strip poker, and starting to loose clothing.

Kind of knowing knowing what was coming, I started to bone up, hoping Brian and John weren’t noticing. I didn’t think to do so at the time, but if I had looked at their pants, I probably would have noticed them being in the same state.

Finally, the tape started getting good. Very good! Everyone in the video had lost their clothes, and the woman was giving one man, and then the other a blowjob while they were fondling her tits. I think you can imagine where the video went from there, but this story isn’t about that.

So by now, all three of us were suffering severely from boneritis, and not saying a word to the others.

I kept thinking I should do something to break the ice. I had often fantacized about seeing my two friends naked, and when I let my imagine run really wild, like when I was wanking in bed at night, I could imagine wanking with John and Brian.

But nothing was happening. Oh, the video was exciting, but I wanted something more. And I believe they did also. But no one was doing anything about it. What should I do? What should I say? If I didn’t act fast, the video would come to an end, and this would have been a missed opportunity. But I didn’t want to sound ‘gay’. Back in the day, that was a big deal, believe it or not. We’d go to great lengths to act ‘right,’ the way a man was supposed to. Geez!

So, getting up my courage, and hoping my voice didn’t sound strange – you know, high-pitched, or shaky or something, I finally said, “Boy, that video really gets me going. If you guys weren’t here, I’d probably jerk off or something.”

‘Oh, oh,’ I was thinking, I just admitted jerking off to my friends. Error!

But no, they both said “me too,” almost in unison.

It was John who started to launch into exactly what I would have done, had I been more brave. He said something like, “Hey we all do it, right? Might as well admit it. Why, if you two weren’t such prude ladies, I’d go ahead and wank right here, right now, in front of you.”

“Why don’t you just go right ahead then? it won’t bother us.” Brian answered.

“John shot back, not unless you do it to. I’m not going to be alone doing something so weird.”

And that kind of dampened the conversation. He said “weird” and that’s the word that scared us to death in those days. No one wanted to be ‘weird.’

I knew it was up to me to rescue the situation. “Dudes, I liked how they played strip poker in the video. Would it be too weird if we did the same thing?”

Oops, I didn’t mean to use the word “weird.” It just slipped out. That had the exact wrong effect. Or so I thought.

John said, “Not weird at all. We’re all horny. We all know we’ll go home and jerk off. We might as well do it here, and get it over with.”

We mumbled our agreement, and John, being the brave one, started to pull down his shorts. Hesitantly, Brian and I did the same thing. Next thing you know, we’re all sitting side by side on John’s sofa, with our erections sticking up. No strip poker needed. You can probably picture it: Three skinny 19-year-olds, still without hair on their chests, sitting there, not knowing quite whether it is OK to actually wank in front of each other or not. In fact, we were even afraid to actually look at each other’s dicks.

We started by lightly touching ourselves. No one said anything. After a few minutes we started lightly stroking ourselves. The video ended, but we didn’t really care. We were now starting to get into it. We spread out on the couch a bit so we could open our legs wider and not bump our knees into each other. Somehow, I guess we all thought that would be ‘gay.’

Brian came first, while John yelled at him to be careful not to get jizz on the sofa. I wanted the situation to last longer, but then I came, and now staring fully at my dick, John then squirted also.

We quickly pulled up our shorts, and all kind of mumbling, admitted that what we just did was “OK,” “Yeah, it was nice,” and so on.

We did have several more wank sessions after that. We pretty much followed the same format, but we added in the strip poker effect. We really seemed to enjoy playing that until one person was totally naked. The next rounds were about the loser being told to do something. It was usually things like “stroke with your left hand,” or “see if you can suck your own dick (which none of us could do),” or “try not to cum for five whole minutes,” which none of us could do.

In time, the dares became much more severe, and we actually did them. Like, “Jerk off Patrick” (me), Put a finger in John’s ass,” or “Blow Brian.”

Every now and then the three of us get together over a few beers, and we’ll occasionally talk about those years, but we have never recreated old times. We may someday, but it’s just too complicated with our wives and kids and all to think of.

I have two teenage sons. They are popular. I wonder if they’ve had the opportunity to play like Brian, John and I have. I hope so.


YouTube: YouTube.com has a strongly enforced policy against sexual content, but some interesting videos can slip through the cracks. One classification is instructional videos, such as on male genital shaving, medical examinations, or penis enlargement techniques. Yes, you can see actual erections on YouTube.

Another classification that passes YouTube is artistic works, such as dances, photography collections, kinetic art, even if the subjects appear nude.

Far too many videos are uploaded for YouTube personnel to approve each one. Therefore, anyone can upload any video, but if the public complains, it will be taken down. You can sometimes see some before anyone flags them by entering a search term and then click the Filters button and then Upload Date.

You might enjoy this video, which has been on YouTube for quite a while: Do a search for “What is ED 15.”

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Zoophilia: Any sort of sexual act involving animals.

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Numbers: The typical Greek couple fucks 164 times a year. The average couple throughout world has sex 103 times a year. That’s just about twice per week.


Scale: Your author proposes that all people are somewhere on a scale that ranges from 0 to 100, with one extreme being entirely straight, to the other in which they are entirely homosexual. I further propose that no one is 100 percent straight or gay, but that everyone is at least slightly bisexual.

The Presidential Erection

An Erotic Story of Political Rise

by Jeremy J. Watson

Jered Jackson was normal in every way, except one. He was tall, but not overly so. He was not skinny, but naturally thin. He was quite black, having entirely African ancestry, but that’s not unusual. He wore his very curly hair slightly long, and kept his beard neatly trimmed. He had a nice smile, but you wouldn’t say it was especially radiant. He even jerked off about as much as anyone else.

The way he was different was that he decided early on to devote his life to making a difference.

Starting somewhere in grade school, he became disgusted with many of the paradigms in America. He didn’t like the way the health care system worked, or didn’t work, in so many cases. He didn’t like politics with the old boy network, lobbying, riders, kickbacks, and all the rest. He didn’t like corporate morality, and he didn’t like the way taxation was handled. He started forming strong opinions before he made it through middle school.

He started thinking that it would be up to him to make a difference. Oh, he didn’t have fantasies of doing it by himself. He just wanted to be a good citizen, and help bring about social change. Therefore, he studied. He studied hard. While his brother was playing baseball after school, Jered was doing his homework. While his sister was always going to sleepovers, he was reading every volume of an old encyclopedia from cover to cover. While his friends insisted he join them at summer camp, he went to Mexico instead, to immerse himself in the Spanish language.

That’s not to say he didn’t have fun. He did play basketball, soccer and other sports occasionally, and he was naturally good at most of them. His mother taught him some basic piano, and he enjoyed noodling around with what he called ‘bluegrass jazz.’ He even dated Jasmine Kamasaki for a short while, until he decided she was an airhead.

Jasmine wasn’t an airhead at all, by most people’s standards. She was very intelligent. But when Jered said he wanted to make a difference, she just laughed at him, saying he’d end up as a corrupt adult, just like everyone else. That unfortunate comment killed any chance she had of having a relationship with him.

By the time he graduated high school, he was pretty sure about his future. He was going to become a politician. That’s the best way to make a difference, he thought. All that studying had paid off. He was offered full-ride scholarships to three universities.

Jered spent a total of six years in college, ending up with a PhD in political science, plus a masters in psychology. He very much enjoyed his studies. To him, it felt like playing a giant video game. Every move he made propelled him toward being a citizen who could help bring about change.

When his second year started, to his amazement, and somewhat dismayed, he found that Jasmine Kamasaki had enrolled in his university. They saw each other from time to time, but didn’t spend any alone time. He thought she was so pretty he could feel his dick respond just to the sight of her, but he decided her cynicism was not to his liking, so while polite, he kept his distance.

In his third year, he had an unusual roommate. This guy, Harley Faulk, was about as average as Jered, except white, instead of black. Like Jered, he was just a bit taller than average, also thin, but not overly so, and very interested in tennis. He had won a partial tennis scholarship. His hope was to make it as a tennis player or at least a tennis pro, but his parents insisted on a backup plan. Therefore, Harley, too, was studying political science.

The interesting thing about Harley is that he wasn’t bashful. He was the most gregarious person Jered had ever met. Not only was he outgoing, he seemed interested in everyone, and turned out to be a very helpful person. Jered liked him from the moment Harley introduced himself.

Jered, who sometimes thought of himself as being somewhere on the Asperger’s scale (he wasn’t), decided to model Harley’s winning ways, figuring that kind of outgoing personality had to be good for a future politician.

Besides being roommates, the two of them started hanging out together. While Harley was less studious than Jered was, they did have intellectual talks late into the night in their dorm room after turning out the lights. Harley found himself liking Jered’s ideals, and within just a few weeks, decided to follow pretty much the same path. Study hard, and become someone who can make a difference.

One day, Jered came back from a lecture that had been canceled, opening the door quickly and walking right in, as was his usual habit. Harley hadn’t been expecting him, and forgot to lock the door. There Harley was, wearing absolutely nothing, sitting in Jered’s rolling chair, and caught red-handed rubbing his erection.

Both of them froze. After a good five seconds of deer-in-the-headlights hypnotic staring, Harley grabbed a sweater, the closest thing to him, and placed it in his lap, covering his penis. That wasn’t before Jered got a good look at it, and found it fascinating. Unlike Jered, Harley was circumcised. Jered had never really noticed a white guy’s penis before, certainly not an erect one.

In a moment, Jered became unstuck, saying, “Um… Sorry dude. I didn’t realize… I’ll leave.”

Harley simply said, “Oh, it was my mistake. No worries. You didn’t wreck anything.”

“Well, thanks. I know I didn’t wreck anything, but aren’t you embarrassed by me barging in like this?”

“Probably not as much as I should be. We all masturbate, right?”

“Well, true enough. But…”

“No, dude, it’s totally OK. If anything, maybe it’s good. I’ve been hiding under the blankets, or jerking off when you’re not around, and I’m rather certain you’ve been doing the same thing, right?”

“Um… well, yes, I guess so.”

“Don’t you think we ought to bring it out in the open?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, Jerry, wouldn’t it be great if we didn’t have to hide it from each other?”

Thinking it over briefly, as he knew politicians always did before answering anything in a sticky situation, he decided that Harley was right. It got down to a more fundamental level. Hiding anything is not good. If a man is going to be a leader, he must always be truthful. Otherwise, how can people trust him? And in Jered’s philosophy, a proper politician must always be trusted, and trustworthy.

“You know, Harley, you are totally right.”

And with that, Jered stepped fully into the room, locking the door behind him, and started taking off his jacket, his shoes, socks, his belt, then his pants, and to Harley’s shock, his roommate was standing naked before him.

It’s not that the two of them hadn’t seen each other naked before. It’s just that this was a strange move. Continuing to watch and without saying a word, Harley saw Jered sit totally naked on the edge of his bed, and start to jerk off.

To say that Harley was shocked would be an understatement. But reflecting on their conversation, and his current state of nudity, he saw that Jered was basically offering some sort of weird solidarity. On the face of it, it was almost gay or something. But then again… well, he’d have to do some thinking.

Jered wanted to make a point of jerking off in front of Harley. He too was thinking something about solidarity, although that specific word didn’t come to his mind. It was more like accomplishing two tasks at once, both of which were only now coming clear in his mind. One was to make Harley feel better about being caught masturbating. Because, while Jered was a pragmatic young man, he was also very empathetic and caring. He’d never hurt anyone and always wanted to help. He even took a course in CPR, and another in bicycle repair, and started carrying a big, multi-bladed Swiss army knife, so he could be a useful citizen to one and all. So, he figured the best thing to do for Harley, to relieve him of the embarrassment of being caught, was to join him in the act.

Jered’s other reason was to get rid of this ‘hiding’ situation. He had been hiding. He had only half-realized it, but sure enough, he had never communicated to Harley that he liked to jerk off, and that Harley’s very presence restricted him to sneaking around to do it, and not telling Harley. And politicians, the good ones, don’t sneak!

The only problem is that Jered wasn’t getting hard. He kept feeling up his balls and his dick, and rubbing lightly, which usually does the trick, but it was taking longer under these unusual circumstances.

Then, for some goofy reason, an image of Jasmine Kamasaki came into his mind, and his penis did, finally, start to swell up. He kept stroking.

Meanwhile, Harley, being a bit confused, but also very trusting of Jered, and still rather horned up from before Jered had arrived, decided, after careful deliberation, that it was OK to resume jerking off. Still sitting in Jered’s rolling chair, he threw the sweater back on his bed, revealing his now-soft penis, and started rubbing it. He didn’t know whether it was Jered’s presence, or something else, but he became hard and very horny right away, and within a minute, had ejaculated all over his hand and lower stomach.

Jered wasn’t sure whether he should look at Harley or not. What does one do in such a bizarre situation? As it turned out, he had a hard time not looking. Harley’s penis was just so different than his, and so interesting. Finally, he just went ahead and watched Harley jerk off, and as soon as he saw the white fluid spurting out of his roommate’s dick, it set off his own ejaculation.

They dressed, and went about their afternoon with very few words. Neither guy was ready to talk about what had happened. They were busy mentally processing the whole event.

Their thoughts were similar. Both wondered whether they should be guilty, and thinking pragmatically, they realized there was nothing to be guilty about. Both then wondered whether what had happened was ‘gay.’ Both came to the same conclusion about that, also: That the question was wrong. Gay or not, didn’t matter. It took them two days before they could discuss it.

On the evening of that second day, not knowing quite how to do it, Jered decided he was horny and wanted to cum. He knew it was now possible, and appropriate to do it in the open, not under the sheets. He also knew if he would wait another hour or so, they’d turn the lights out to go to sleep, and he could quietly wank then. But that wasn’t the point. Good politicians don’t keep secrets, remember?

Gathering up his boldness, hoping his voice wouldn’t betray his nervousness, he said, “Harley, I’m going to jerk off, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure Jerry, go ahead.”

“Feeling some weirdness, but satisfaction that Harley didn’t call him ‘weird’ or something, he then took off his shorts, laid down on his bed, and started to wank. Harley didn’t even look. He was engrossed in his homework. In a short while, Jered had a good ejaculation. He wouldn’t quite admit it to himself, but he had hoped Harley would have at least taken a quick peek.

Fifteen minutes later, Jered had gotten up, still naked from the waist down, went over to his desk, and became absorbed in his homework on his laptop.

A couple of minutes later, Harley had finished his reading, casually took off all his clothes, and without a word, started jerking himself off. Jered was secretly delighted.

A couple of weeks later, it had become routine. Both guys would tend to remove all their clothing upon entering the dorm room. Nudity became normal. Then at some point in the evenings, and many mornings, too. they’d jerk themselves off. It became so routine that it had about as much impact on the other guy as eating a beef sandwich. It was just business as usual. Sometimes they’d discuss something they’d seen on CNN or heard in a lecture, as they stroked themselves.

Jered had no clue, but Jasmine had been thinking about him, almost obsessing for three years. She liked his morality. The more she thought about it, the more she liked it. She had to admit he was pretty good-looking, too. And, although ashamed of it, she rubbed her clitoris, bringing herself to a nice orgasm, more than once, with images of Jered in her mind. She even went so far as to imagine sex with him. One thing that particularly got her was the notion of him licking her pussy. During the past three years, she had demurely but firmly refused almost all advances from other men. She didn’t consciously know why, but it was because she had a ‘thing’ for Jered.

There was one guy who got through her shell. Sam McCloud. He too, had strong moral values. He too, was handsome and black. Did she have a thing for black guys, or was it because he looked somewhat like Jared? Reflecting on it years later, she knew it was because he looked like Jared.

Sam and Jasmine slowly came closer, dating innocently several times. Then, one evening, in his little apartment, Jasmine knew it was time. Sitting on his sofa after a movie, he leaned in and gently kissed her ear. It was slightly weird, but nice, she thought. She felt a bit of a twinge in her pussy as he continued to kiss her ear, than started exploring the ear with his tongue. She found it quite erotic.

One thing led to another, and soon they were entirely naked on his sofa. She felt his firm erection pressed against her belly as they held each other tightly. She wanted that thing inside her. She wanted it very badly. He was of like mind, and started to reposition himself, and pressed at her entrance.

Jasmine stopped him. “What about protection?”

“Oh, we won’t need that.”

“What?”

“I’m clean baby, and it’s the OK time of the month, right?”

Her sexual spirit was ebbing away quickly.

“Well, will you wear one for me?”

“OK, if you insist,” he grumbled, fumbling in his pants on the floor, and drawing out a packet from a pocket.

He tore it open, and expertly unrolled it on his cock.

Now, she wasn’t so sure about the whole thing. Horniness won her over, and she decided to go through with it.

He slowly and carefully entered her, knowing that she was a virgin.

She felt only a slight momentary sting as he fully made it all the way in filling her vagina more completely than she expected. He settled into a humping rhythm, and she instinctively matched him, ‘My, it does feel nice!’ she was thinking.

Moments later, his muscles tightened, she heard him moan in a strange low voice, and it was over. His penis wilted within her a minute later, and he pulled it out.

Ten minutes later he was out the door, and she was left bewildered. Was that what everyone had been making such a big deal about? That was sex? It wasn’t until years later that she learned how it could be.

That was the first and last time she had sex with Sam McCloud. A few days later, she told him that although she thought he was a great person, she felt the chemistry wasn’t quite right. She had been afraid of telling him, but to her surprise, he agreed, and that was that.

She saw him off and on around campus. She was trying desperately to think up ways to get him interested in her. She was kind of watching him, almost like spying, and was pretty sure he wasn’t dating anyone. What she didn’t realize is all she had to do was ask. He had been having fantasies about her, too. If she had come up to Jered and said, “Want to get some pizza?” or something, he probably would have gone along.

Jered was starting to think more and more about Jasmine. She was sweet, really. Maybe she didn’t really mean it about everyone becoming corrupt. Or maybe she did, but was interested in doing something about it, much like himself.

Jered got a seat on the student council, which was a big deal in a university with a large political science program. Guess who else got a seat? Right, Jasmine Kamasaki. When she joined the board, his stomach lurched.

Jared and Harley had switched their beds around so their heads were toward the door to the room, and their feet pointed toward the wall with the window, so they could easily look outside. So, they didn’t notice one day when they had left the door cracked open. It was around 6pm, and it was just getting dark outside, so both of their desk lamps were on. Each thought the other had locked the door. They were talking about political science as usual, while each was laying on his own bed. They were naked, as they always were these days, and each was rubbing his own erection.

The window was open because it was a warm late autumn evening, and a slight breeze slowly pushed the door fully open. Neither boy noticed, until suddenly, Harley noticed the ambient noise from the hall was louder than usual. In totally alarm, he turned around, and saw the door fully open. Sitting up quickly, grabbing a towel, and wrapping it around his middle with his erection making a prominent protrusion in the towel, he stepped to the door, closed and locked it. There’s no way a hundred people didn’t walk by and see the two guys masturbating side by side. To the credit of the student body, not one of those people said a word.

No one said anything, that is, until an article appeared in the student newspaper. The headline was “Masturbation, the New Norm on Campus.” The person who wrote the article, didn’t mention names, and didn’t really make any point about masturbation, like whether it is bad or good. His article was more a series of questions. How many people masturbate on campus, how open are they about it, and how should the students feel about it?

Now, you’d think such an article wouldn’t have much impact, what with all the out-and-out sex that happens on college campuses, but it became the buzz of the campus, with additional articles and online posts appearing.

Someone even posted a whole Facebook spread on ‘campus masturbation.’

At first, even though their names weren’t mentioned, Jered and Harley were mortified, because it was pretty obvious that they had triggered the first article. Worse, the article did a pretty good job of identifying them anyway. It mentioned the dorm, the floor, and even said a ‘very black guy and very white guy.’

The campus was abuzz for sure. About the only ones who weren’t talking about it were Jered and Harley. They didn’t hear most of what was being said either, but it became pretty clear that people knew who they were, because when they approached groups, suddenly the conversation would stop, and when passing people in the cafeteria, hallways and so on, people would smile bigger than usual, almost like it was an open secret. Which it pretty much was.

At the next student council meeting, Aaron Carter wanted to speak. People weren’t so sure about Aaron. He was one of those guys who dresses super-conservatively. Patterned sky blue sweaters, and creased trousers like he was wearing that evening, were typical for him. He had a reputation of speaking at these and other meetings, and always trying to drive his points, which were sometimes ridiculously conservative. For instance, he was convinced that spending the money for a chapel on campus was a grand plan, and he pushed it hard for the funding, which he thought could come from money allocated for a social science program.

On this evening, he stood up, and used his three allotted minutes to say that masturbation on campus should be outlawed.

Jered’s heart sank. He realized he was at the center of the controversy, and that if such a ruling were to pass, it would be quite uncomfortable for everyone, most of all he and Harley. Furthermore, he realized that politicians listen to the people, and go with what the majority wants, so he might have to stand against his own personal interest in such a case. Obviously, he would like to make masturbation OK, maybe even officially legal on campus, but Aaron was probably going to get on a high horse, and obstinately push hard for the exact opposite.

Aaron kept glancing right at Jered, which only made him feel worse. He kept referring to masturbation as ‘despicable,’ and ‘animalian,’ whatever that meant.

To Jered’s surprise, it was Justine who first responded to Aaron’s calmly spoken tirade.

“Aaron Carter, thank you so very much for your input. Carefully thought out points are always appreciated by this board.”

Jered’s heart sank even further. Now, even Jasmine was on stupid Aaron’s side.

She continued, “Aaron, you’re fond of the truth, right?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Aaron, would you tell us how many times you’ve masturbated in the last month?”

The room broke out in laughter.

“I… I…” You couldn’t hear him because everyone was still laughing.

Finally when everyone calmed down, he said, “I have masturbated, that’s true. I know it’s a sin on God’s green earth, but that doesn’t mean I’m disqualified to speak against the despicable practice.”

“And, you did it here on campus?” Jasmine pressed.

Before he could continue, Jasmine asked for a vote. “How many want to outlaw masturbation on campus?”

No one voted against masturbation.

Then she asked, “How many want to outlaw attempts to prevent masturbation?”

All voted in favor.

At that point, Jasmine did something that horrified Jered. She probably thought she was helping him in some way.

“Jered, can I speak in your behalf?”

He didn’t realize what she was about to do, so he said, “Of course, Jasmine.”

“I think we all know who everyone has been talking about. Jered Jackson.”

When black people blush, their cheeks get darker. That’s what happened to Jared. If ever a man wanted to hide, this was the time. But politicians don’t hide. They ride out the bad times as equanimously as possible, always thinking of the common good.

She went on. “Well, I want it on record, that I masturbate, too.”

Tittering from the crowd.

“And, more than once, I may have left the door unlocked. And I did it with a girl once. I masturbated, I mean.”

Now, her cheeks were red.

“I think we can all assume most of us masturbate. I think we can also conclude that it isn’t any sort of sin to masturbate in the presence of other like-minded individuals if one so chooses? Can anyone imagine anything wrong with that? Right, I think now. I, for one, would like this case closed. I’d like to suggest we find more important things to talk about on campus.”

You could hear murmurs of acceptance from the crowd in the room.

The student council went on to other topics, to Jered’s great relief.

Thinking about it later, first he hated Jasmine for saying out loud that he was the one caught masturbating. Of course most everyone on the whole damn campus knew that already. Especially after the ongoing Facebook postings. But then, he started to settle down, and came to believe that what Jasmine did worked out to his benefit. She managed to put a lid on the social uproar.

It wasn’t really that big of a deal as far as the rest of the campus was concerned. For most of the students and staff, it was just something interesting to talk about, although to Jered, it was huge. But the thing came back to bite him, hard, years later.

Politicians always thank people who are on their side. Jered knew that. Reluctantly, he texted Jasmine, thanking her, and inviting her out for a drink. That just seemed like the right thing to do.

She was excited, with joy in her heart. This was the beginning of what she had been waiting for. She was more convinced than ever, that Jered was very important to her. She was starting to dream that he would do something big and important someday, and she’d be at his side. Or, maybe she’d do something big, and he’d be at her side.

They met up at Caesar’s bar and grill on the edge of the campus. It was a place that was very loose about carding college students in a state where the drinking age was twenty-one. Justine and Jered were actually of legal age, but just barely.

He offered to buy her a drink, but declined one for himself. He had decided long ago that there’s no way he’d risk becoming an alcoholic. He knew for those who have a certain makeup, the first drink can be the beginning of the end. His dad had always been a ‘friendly’ drunk, and he wanted no part of that.

Watching him order a fizzy water, she changed her mind, and ordered a Coke. She never ordered an alcoholic drink again. Such was her respect for Jered. In fact, she was almost shaking, in his presence. He was that important to her.

“Jasmine, I really want to thank you for defending my situation. It must have been very brave of you to say you masturbate in front of the whole room.”

“I was strangely refreshing. To admit the truth like that. It’s as if I had been doing something ‘bad’ all my life, and finally ‘fessed up to it. Of course there’s nothing ‘bad’ about masturbating.”

“I know exactly what you mean.”

The went on and talked about student life for an hour. Jered announced he had studying to do, paid the bill and they left. Jasmine was expecting he might kiss her, at least a little peck on the cheek, but she got nothing, just a friendly, “G’nite.”

He had been somewhat excited about meeting her, but realized doing anything like dating another student council member wasn’t quite kosher, so he kept his sexual thoughts to himself.

Jasmine tried several more times to get something going with Jered, but never managed it. He continued to fantasize about her, and steadfastly refused to give in to his horniness. Had she only known that if she hadn’t joined the student council, things would have been entirely different.

Jered did lose his virginity in college. There was a girl in the nursing program, Sandra, who like Jasmine, was of Japanese ancestry, and actually looked somewhat like Jasmine. She was one of the many people he helped with his Swiss army knife. She had run her bike over some fishing line, and it had gotten tangled in her derailleur. It was important to him to be helpful, and so he was flattered when she said she knew of his reputation on campus for being such a good citizen.

With surprisingly little difficulty, he asked her out, and she accepted. They dated a few times, and had long conversations. He was fascinated by her studies, and she seemed attracted to him, not only physically, but to his moral values as well.

She came to his room one afternoon when Harley had a class. One thing led to another, and they found themselves kissing on his bed. They naturally reclined, and within minutes, his hand was under her T-shirt, where he happily discovered she wasn’t wearing a bra. He squeezed her left breast a little bit, and she seemed to like it. Having done some reading on sexuality, he realized she might enjoy a very light fingertip rubbing of her nipple, while they kissed. Although somewhat awkwardly under her shirt, he did manage to do that. She didn’t break away. Instead, Sandra said “Mmm,” encouraging him to go further.

He didn’t do much more for a couple of minutes, so Sandra prompted things along by breaking their kiss for a moment, while she pulled her T-shirt over her head, revealing her small, perky breasts, with small dark brown nipples.

Jered was delighted with what was happening, but didn’t quite know what to do next. Sandra did. She grabbed his belt and removed it. She then started fumbling with the button at the top of his pants. He realized where she was going and so assisted her by removing his own pants, and then his underwear. He was a bit concerned about going too fast, but as his already hard penis popped out, she reached forward and gently grabbed it with both hands.

Being the virgin he was, he almost ejaculated then and there. Fortunately, she let go, not even knowing how close he had come, and wrapping her arms around Jered, she resumed kissing him. That went on for a while. For some reason, Jered wasn’t making the next move. She didn’t realize he was kind of nervous and frozen, not having been even this far with a girl before.

“Kiss me… down there.” she whispered. Then she removed the rest of her clothing, as he took off his last remaining item, his shirt. He more than gladly complied with her request, turning around on the bed, and lowering his face to her vagina. It took him only a minute or so to figure things out with his tongue, licking first the general area, and getting the unsatisfactory feeling of curly hair on his tongue, until he found her slot, which became fluid quickly, and finally finding what he correctly surmised was her clitoris. He focused his tongue on that.

Sandra was reclined on the bed and in heaven as he supported himself over her and continued to lick away. She reached with one hand to hold his marvelous, large, black penis. She simply placed her fingers around it. That’s all. And he ejaculated.

That was their first time. They had several more opportunities, and a few mishaps along the way. On the second occasion, he came again, way too soon. On the third, he managed to hold out, but hadn’t thought to have any condoms on hand.

Finally, on their fourth try, after a bit of fumbling before he realized he had the rubber upside down, he unrolled it on his penis, which barely fit. After lots of delicious kissing, and him licking her vagina again, which she kept referring to as her “cunt,” and which he couldn’t bring himself to say, she was face up on the bed. He was on top of her, supporting the weight of his upper body on his arms. His penis was against her lower belly, and she scooted lower, now the tip was in the hair above her slit. She simply grabbed it, and put it in the right position. She was delighted to feel that magnificent tool against her cunt. He was equally delighted to be ready to enter her vagina.

He pressed a bit this way and that, and she wiggled a bit this way and that, and it went in an inch or so. He almost pulled out, not quite sure if he had it right, but instinct took over, and he pushed in, instead. It pulled her hairs a bit, but momentarily, he was all the way in her, and naturally humping in and out. Jered was in heaven. Not only were the physical sensations spectacular, but he was fucking a girl for the first time. It was a special time for him. To Jered, this was one of the markers of entering adulthood.

Bang, he came! She wasn’t even close. After he settled down, she suggested that he might like to lick her cunt. The problem was, like so many men, he had lost the mood as soon as he ejaculated. He made some excuse, and quickly, but politely, threw her out of his room.

The next day, she had been badly disappointed, but wasn’t destroyed. he was very apologetic. A few days later found them in his room again. Things were going better, he was working hard to keep from ejaculating until she was ready.

Suddenly, the door opened, and in walked Harley. He hadn’t been expected for at least another hour.

“Oops! I’ll leave.” and with that, he was gone.

Sandra had lost the mood, and now it was her turn to bring an early end to their afternoon.

When Harley returned later he said to Jared, “Way to go!”

Jared apologized, saying he hadn’t expected Harley to come back so soon.

Harley said he enjoyed the show, and would have stayed longer, if he could.

Jered didn’t know what to make of that response.

Several months later, Harley was caught in the same room, not with a girl, but with a guy. It wasn’t just any guy, it was the star basketball player, a black guy, who looked much like Jered, but was several inches taller.

Jered, remembering Harley’s response from months ago simply said, “Way to go!”

About a month after that, Harley seemed to have bloomed. He had started late on the dating scene, but made up for it by being caught again, this time with the basketball player’s former girlfriend.

To Jered’s totaly shock, a week or so later, Harley invited Jered to an orgy. It was to be the basketball guy, his former girlfriend, who was now evidently Harley’s girlfriend, and a half-dozen other people.

Jered politely declined, although a part of him was very interested.

The thing with Sandra fizzled out. Jered thought that he wanted to focus more on his studies, but the real truth was she just wasn’t quite the conversationalist he could hope for. Someone like Jasmine, for instance.

The day came when Jared graduated. Because of his academic record, he already had a job lined up. It was in small city near the east coast, almost three thousand miles away. He was going to be a spin doctor, helping a mayor improve his image. His only regret, which he wouldn’t quite admit to himself, is that he’d be so far from Jasmine. The timing was unfortunate, since there was no longer the problem of both of them being on the student council.

He took the job, after spending a week back at home with his parents. He met Rodney Pleschenko, the mayor of Bloomfield. He’d read up on Mr. Pleschenko, and liked what he found. The guy had a spotless record. His only problem was that he was somewhat like Richard Nixon, his stony personality got in the way of his political ambitions.

Jered liked the work. He met with TV people, reporters and others. He issued press releases. He coached his mayor on how to handle various situations. He even invented mock question and answer sessions, to help his guy bring more life to his personality. It didn’t work all that well. Rodney Pleschenko was rather set in his wooden ways.

The luster started wearing off when time after time, Jered saw Rodney back away from controversial issues. Rodney explained that getting reelected so he ‘could do more good’ was more important than dealing with situations where his input actually mattered.

Jered liked Bloomfield, and learned a lot about his city. He met most of the local movers and shakers, and they spoke highly of him.

He thought long and hard, and although he was young, he started realizing that the idea of him running for mayor, and displacing Rodney Pleschenko wasn’t entirely terrible. He could do some good on some of the current hotspots like the sewage system, parking and the proposed new mall.

Perhaps foolishly, he threw in his hat.

Even though the experience as a spin doctor, having a PhD in political science and his overall enthusiasm were assets, running for mayor is pretty hard to do when you have no money. His $52,000 annual salary was being eaten up by his student loan and the cost of his apartment in Bloomfield, a rather expensive town. He had naively hoped for political contributions, but they were few, and small.

Then, somehow, one of the TV stations got wind of that little deal in college where he was caught masturbating with Harley. They had almost no facts, and some of what they did say was incorrect, but suddenly, his ship, which had been sinking, was completely sunk. He was the talk of the town, and every news crew, every reporter in town wanted to interview him. For masturbating in college! It was absurd.

He told them all that he had nothing to hide. Yes, he did masturbate with his roommate. No, he didn’t have sex with the guy, although what if he did? That shouldn’t matter.

That phrase, “nothing to hide” kept running through his mind like music you can’t get rid of. Maybe it was the spin doctor experience, because suddenly, he had a crazy idea, knowing that sometimes you have to do something outlandish to get your story properly told. He knew what he had to do.

He hired a photographer. At the studio, he took all his clothes off, and posed for the woman. She took just the kind of pictures he wanted. The one he finally chose was perfect. It showed as much of his body as possible without actually showing his penis, and without looking like he was trying to hide his penis. He was reclining against a stool in a western saloon setting. He was facing the camera directly, but his body was turned just enough that you couldn’t see his genitals.

He thanked the photographer, and then went to a graphic artist who made the picture in to the poster with the words, “Jered Jackson has nothing to hide.”

Using the last of money he had on hand, he had 1,000 copies printed, and then distributed around town. He was hoping for the best.

The first call he got was from the photographer. She said, laughing, “Mr. Jackson, you’ve got my vote!” She then went on to ask him whether he had looked at the web or seen the morning papers?

He was the talk of the town! Impulsively, he asked her on a date to thank her for her good work. To his surprise, she accepted.

At 31 years old, Sue Gibson was quite a bit older than Jered, but what a looker! She was tall, curvy in just the right ways, had attractive pouty lips, and sparkly eyes. She kept her frizzy blond hair on the short side for a woman, but it made her even more attractive. They ate at an Italian restaurant. She had wine while he had sparkling raspberry apple juice. They talked until the place closed. Her place was so close they decided to walk. He planned to walk back to his car after seeing her safely home. It didn’t turn out that way.

It seems the one who needed safety was Jered, not Sue. As they were walking, a drunk white guy approached them. He seemed to be around 45 years old, but his haggard appearance may have made him look older than he really was. Jered wasn’t particularly worried.

The man yelled, “Faggot!” as pulled something out of his pocket. Then, drunkenly slurring his words he said, “I’ll be damned if I have some fucking black faggot mayoring my town!” and with that he shot Jered, who fell to the ground immediately. Sue started screaming. The drunk ran away, wobbling down the street and disappearing in an alley.

Sue called 911. After a very long twenty minutes, in which a crowd of twenty bystanders formed, an ambulance came and swept Jered away, leaving a puddle of blood three feet in diameter on the sidewalk.

Jered had passed out shortly after being shot from the blood loss, but not before feeling very hurt. Not by the physical injury. It hurt, but less than he thought a gunshot would. What hurt was what the man said. Not the “faggot” part, because Jered knew that wasn’t true. It was the “black” part. That was true enough. What a shame that in America there can still be such hatred. Jered almost cried. Not for himself, but for all the millions of black men and women, and even children in America who had suffered worse fates.

He woke up in the hospital several hours later. The first thing he tried to do is feel his upper thigh, where he had been shot. Somehow, he couldn’t reach it. Slowly regaining consciousness, he realized his arm had been restrained, and suddenly he freaked out. Had they amputated his leg? Looking down, it seemed to be there. He tried wiggling his toes. That hurt, but it confirmed he still had a leg.

He saw Sue sitting next to his bed. She said “Welcome back.”

He felt somewhat comforted by her presence.

A group of interns and a gray-haired man walked in. The gray-hair introduced himself as “Doctor Lloyd.”

“Mr. Jackson, you’re a lucky man. The bullet went through the outer portion of your upper thigh, missing the bone and important structures. You’ll be hobbling for a while, but you’re expected to make a full recovery.”

“Thank you doctor,” Jered said, with a huge sigh of relief.

It turned out that getting shot had a positive result. Suddenly, Jered Jackson was the talk of the town. Between the posters, and the shooting, he turned into a local celebrity.

It helped his cause even more when he met with Donald Williamson, the drunk who had shot him a week later. The police caught the man, and Jered insisted on meeting with him. Reporters were present.

Jered asked, “If you hadn’t been drunk, would you have shot me?”

“Not in a million years.”

“Will you ever drink again?”

Jered was hoping the guy would be truthful.

“Well Sir, if I could… I mean… Well, I can’t trust myself..” and with that, the man collapsed, holding his head in his hands, and sobbing quietly.

“What do you do for a living?”

“I was a computer programmer, but now I’m unemployed. I have to admit I drank myself out of a job.”

“Can you build websites?”

“I used to be very good at that.”

“Do you have a place to live?”

“Yes, I still have that, and a wife who loves me, although why, I have no clue.”

Jered then did something that changed the course of history.

“Mr. Williamson, if I can arrange an alcohol treatment program for you, will you promise never to do anything like this again?”

“Yes sir, I’ll never do anything like this again anyway.”

“Good man.”

“OK, Mr. Williamson, after you complete a treatment program, I’m going to need a webmaster. My current website isn’t very good. Will you rebuild my website?”

The man put his hands over his eyes again, and sobbed out loud. Jered took that as a “yes.”

Jered spent the next two weeks attending luncheons, meetings, the county fair, all the things a mayoral candidate does. Sue was constantly at his side, when she didn’t have photoshoots, helping him negotiate the world in wheelchairs and then on crutches.

He was honest, and people could tell. He had a good time campaigning. He joked that he’d have to get a new naked picture taken, because the old one didn’t show the scar on his thigh, and he didn’t want to hide anything.

He and Sue started dating in earnest.

He won the election by a landslide.

Three thousand miles away Jasmine watched Jered’s election progress on the Internet, and was delighted for him. It was easy to follow him, because his publicity transcended Bloomfield. He was a national hero of sorts. Too bad it hadn’t worked out between them. She really admired the guy.

Jasmine didn’t like this Sue Gibson person. Not one bit. She wasn’t right for Jered. Jered must have figured it out for himself, because in time, he and Sue became more distant.

Jered made a good mayor. Although there was opposition on some of his actions, he made progress for Bloomfield. He was proud of what he had done, and very much enjoyed his first real job in politics.

His campaign manager told Jered he should consider running for governor, and then promptly quit. The man quit because Jered took him up on his offer, and the man didn’t want to travel all over the state.

Jasmine happened to catch on the Internet a little news article about Jered running for governor, and how his campaign manager had not wanted to travel.

With great trepidation, she sent him an email offering to fill the vacancy.

Jered’s heart jumped with joy. All he would admit to himself however, was that he was going to get a great campaign manager. She flew east three days later.

Jered ran for governor in the same way he had run for mayor. Much of his campaign was very grassroots. His website, email campaigns and social networking were brilliant, headed by Donald Williamson.

He became governor, again winning by a landslide. At 29 years old, he was the youngest governor ever.

It wasn’t until the campaign was won that he really started to pay attention to Jasmine. It started three days after the win, when things quieted down enough that he could take her to a quite dinner without a hundred well-wishers involved.

Even then, there were paparazzi trying to remain inconspicuous in the restaurant. They had to whisper so they wouldn’t be heard. Their hearts were brimming with joy, and their quiet conversation reflected that. He ended up taking her to his small apartment in Bloomfield, and they both knew what they wanted.

Leaving a trail of clothes from the front door to the bedroom, they ended up naked within minutes. He had no condoms, but she came prepared. They French kissed like there was no tomorrow, then they simply hugged for a very long time. Being able to resist no longer, he entered her, and as was so unfortunately typical for him, he came too soon. However, she was quite satisfied when he licked her clitoris while pressing one finger gently against her asshole, bringing her to a crashing orgasm.

She had been right after all. This wasn’t like that time with Sam McCloud. Sex can be amazing, beautiful, with the right person!

Two days later they discussed marriage. There was no discussion, really. The incumbent governor was married by the time he took office. The wedding party was small, with only around twenty guests. But there were well over 100 newspeople. Jered Jackson was becoming famous.

As governor and the state’s first lady, the Jacksons had to realized every day how lucky they were. They talked about it frequently, and made a pact that they would never forget why they were in politics. They wanted to be helpful, not rich or big-headed. Jered still carried his Swiss army knife.

Every now and then, he’d help a little boy catch his loose dog, or an elderly gentleman with a flat tire. These were just people he spotted on the streets. The same kind of people everyone else just passed by, thinking someone else will help out. He did it for his own amusement, but the press went wild, and Jared Jackson became the most popular and famous governor in the United States.

At the age of 34, Jered Jackson ran for president of the United States. He was too young to be president, but by January, if elected, he’d be old enough.

Winning the primaries was suprisingly easy, but then it got tough. The Democrats had a popular woman running, and she was doing very well. Even though he was Republican, his platform was more ‘democratic’ than the Democratic candidate.

Being so young did nothing to help his cause. He was criticized for being ‘unreal.’ People called him the “Swiss Army Candidate” saying his attempts to do the little helpful things he did were strictly for publicity. They called him a “Pollyanna,” saying his ideas were too simplistic.

They’d criticize the silliest things. For instance, recalling his old mayoral posters in which he was naked, they said that he did indeed hide something, referring to the fact that it was an artistically positioned photo, hiding his genitals.

Perhaps because he was riding high, having so easily succeeded as governor then winning the primaries, he thought he’d try something really off-the-wall. He asked Jasmine for advice, and she was all for it. She even wanted to participate.

He called up Sue Gibson, and had her fly in and take pictures of himself and jasmine, fully nude, and this time, fully frontal, hiding nothing. At Jasmine’s suggestion, they also took pictures of the two of them facing away, so their asses could be seen as well.

A composite poster was made of the two images, with the same old slogan, “Jered Jackson has nothing to hide.”

Actual posters were made, but the image went viral on the Internet literally overnight. Jasmine came up with the notion of selling signed posters on eBay, and that brought an additional two million dollars into their campaign fund.

Of course there were thousands of people who hated the posters, and did their best to discredit the candidate, but by and large the American public smiled, and knew times were changing.

There were also people who hated that he was black, and she was Asian. They couldn’t get that she was American born, second-generation Japanese. They just called her “Asian” all the time. Fortunately, they were a very small minority.

Most likely, it was that poster that won the election. Of course it may be the way that Jered took care of Donald Williamson, and a hundred other people in desperate circumstances.

So, Jared Jackson, with his former campaign manager and first lady, Jasmine, at his side, took up residence in the White House. The public had nicknamed him The Swiss Army President. Yes, he still carried the knife, and used it to help people when he could.

There’s something about exposing yourself, fully, genitals and all, to the entire world, that changes a person, and America seemed ready for it. On several occasions, the president and first lady visited nude beaches and resorts. They were enjoying not only the nude lifestyle, but the positive publicity it was bringing.

Jasmine, at the forefront of many social issues, especially wanted to help people with body dysmorphia, the idea most of us have, that we don’t look good. She posed for some additional nude shots from time to time, enjoying the process, as well as America’s reaction. She was, after all a very good looking woman. However, she knew that she was exactly the opposite of a poster child for body image, so she started posing with the wives of governors, the secretary of state, the treasurer, and other women who weren’t considered as good looking. She also posed with some heavyset and elderly men. All fully nude, of course. America loved it!

Well, most of them did. There were a few people who were really upset!

One was George Michaels. At first this whole nudity thing bothered him only a little. But the more he thought about it day after day, it was becoming pretty obvious to him that the Jacksons were ruining America. People were nuts, just letting it happen. Nobody was doing anything about it. So, he bought a gun.

The president and first lady were at a nudist resort in Virginia. It was ludicrous seeing the Secret Service men and women fully clothed in the resort, but that’s how it had to be done.

Earlier in the day, Jered and Jasmine had some time to themselves in a bungalow at the resort. They had been for a swim after a nice breakfast with the governor of California and her husband, and the Secretary of Defense, Harley Falk, and his wife the US Surgeon General. After the swim, they returned to the bungalow still nude. Jasmine thanked him for the millionth time for being who he is, and then kissed the president. They hugged and kissed, then retired to the bedroom. He was erect right away, and she placed her fingers around his large penis, slowly bringing the foreskin back as far as it would go, and holding it. Simple though this was, he loved it. Meanwhile, he kissed one of her nipples, then the other, nibbling lightly. She felt the usual tightening in her pussy. That was another word he didn’t particularly like. He still couldn’t bring himself to call it ‘pussy.’ Probably for the rest of Jered’s life, it would be ‘vagina’ to him.

She turned over on the bed so she was on her hands and knees, with her tight little butt up and open wide. The president placed a finger against her vagina picking up some of the wetness, and touching that wet finger ever so lightly against her anus. It shrank for a second at the touch, as she shivered in delight. He pressed that finger back into her vagina again, coating it liberally with her girl juice, then pressed it more insistently against her asshole until it slipped easily in. She continued shivering, yet it was quite warm in the bungalow. While holding his finger in her ass, he maneuvered his penis against her vagina, which she had recently taken to depilating, much to his delight. He liked her hairless new look. Flump, his penis slipped in, and she continued to shiver, while quietly saying, “Yummm!”

Pulling his finger slowly out of her ass, so he’d have more room to maneuver, he commenced to fuck her hard. Very hard. As he was approaching orgasm, he pulled out, then placed his rock-hard penis against the first lady’s anus. Pressing quite hard, he entered her ass, and buried his cock all the way in, in a way that would be too quick for someone inexperienced in such activity. But for Jasmine, it was just fine. In fact, she was loving it. Especially when she felt that large presidential penis pressing against the back of her vaginal canal. That always did it for her. It was a specific angle, and he knew the trick.

They orgasmed together. He could feel her asshole contracting firmly around his penis, and she could feel the semen flowing into her rectum.

An hour later, after showering, they thought they might go out in public at the resort. They were hoping the paparazzi would be reasonable. Lately, they had started filming the president and his wife not only at the nude resorts, but now, pictures of the president with a full-blown erection started circulating. Officially, the media had agreed that those pictures weren’t supposed to be circulated, but unofficially, they were all over the Internet.

When asked about it as if those pictures were his fault, the president did not critique the photographers who had taken the very unauthorized pictures. Instead he simply said, “I have nothing to hide,” and laughed.

Some of the paparazzi got into the nudist resort style, taking everything off except their cameras. Others stayed clothed. In some resorts, those who remained covered were not allowed in. At the resort they were in now, clothing was optional, and any camera person willing to pay the membership fee was invited. It was good business for the resort, because they had two hundred members who never showed up unless the president did.

The president and first lady made their appearance to the delight of the other resort guests. There were several people there who were simply on vacation, and it was just coincidence that they got to be there with the president and Jasmine. They were, of course delighted.

So was George Michaels. But he was delighted for another reason. Posing as paparazzi, and having paid his membership fee, it was remarkably easy to smuggle his pistol in. As far as he could tell, the Secret Service was a joke.

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Standing there like that, it was easy to aim and shoot. George pulled the trigger. A second later, he was jammed to the ground by six Secret Service agents.

Jasmine screamed as Jered fell to the ground. There wasn’t much blood, and she was relieved that it didn’t seem serious. Then the blood started pouring out, and she saw where the bullet had entered. This was not good.

The president was rushed to the hospital with a bullet wound right in the center of his chest. George Michaels had been a champion competing marksman in the army, and hadn’t lost his touch.

He wasn’t as expert in anatomy. Most people think the heart is higher in the human chest than it is. George didn’t hit Jered in the heart, but just above it, ripping open the main artery, the aorta, which is just as deadly as a shot to the heart.

Surgeons, seeing the situation, tore the president’s chest to shreds right away. The lead surgeon didn’t even take the time to put on gloves. They got blood transfusions running, already knowing the president’s blood type, and jammed a retractor into the opening, cracking his sternum wide open. They spread the retractor remarkably wide. They had to. Working very quickly, they assessed the damage, while his blood pressure disappeared. It dropped so low, that the monitor said zero over zero. They continued to work, even as his heart went from beating to simply shuddering.

Ligatures were put on the side of his aorta. The main leak was sealed. They continued to pour blood into him through four catheters. His heart was still not beating, only sort of shivering now and then. Next, they went to work on the damage to his trachea, and finally his esophagus. They found and removed the bullet lodged against his spine.

Next came the paddles, just in case he could be saved. It certainly didn’t seem likely. They shocked his heart directly, with the paddles on the organ itself, not on his chest. It didn’t work.

In the waiting room, surrounded by reporters, and yet feeling all alone, Jasmine was scared to death. An orderly came out and said, very sadly, to the room at large, “The president is dead.”

Jasmine wailed. How could life be so cruel? The love of her life, who she had waited patiently for all those early years, and who had done so much for the entire United States, taken away by an insane man and his gun. Ohhhh…

News went out immediately. Jered Jackson, the most beloved president the US had ever known, died at approximately 4:33pm due to an assassination at a nudist resort.

The surgeons applied a second shock. And a third. The heart quivered a bit more strongly as it filled with blood. Then, a complete contraction. Then another.

They waited and watched with his chest still gaping open. The aorta leak was properly sealed. They double and triple checked everything else, and it was all looking OK.

Painstakingly, they debrided the shattered bits of sternum from his chest. They found a small rupture in one lung and fixed that. Finally, they reattached his sternum, and sewed Jeremy up, leaving drains and monitoring wires in place.

He was wheeled to the recovery room, where he awoke four hours later, in great pain.

His first words were very unpresidential, “What the fuck happened?”

By that time, Jasmine had been told the truth. It was like a dream, a nightmare with a remarkably happy ending. The orderly who said the president was dead, had been mistaken. He had heard something about his heart having stopped, and just assumed.

During the first four days, Jered was in so much pain he couldn’t move his arms. Jasmine knew that her husband, with whom she had sex almost daily, and who she knew supplemented his sexual appetite with masturbation, must be frustrated.

On the third day, as the pain medicine was being reduced and he was starting to become himself again, she asked him about that, and he admitted, laughing, that he’d pay a whole lot for a blowjob. She asked two reporters, and two unidentified people to leave the room. She knew better than to ask the nurse and two Secret Service agents to leave. Being president, even in a hospital, certain sacrifices must be made, especially privacy.

Jasmine carefully lifted up the bottom of Jered’s gown, and almost gasped. There was a tube coming from his penis. She hadn’t expected that. But then again, it made sense, because he couldn’t just get up and go to the bathroom in his current condition. She realized she’d have to give him a handjob, not a blowjob. She looked at the nurse, who nodded her head. Jasmine assumed that they had silently said, ‘Can he ejaculate like that?’ and ‘Yes,’ but she wasn’t entirely sure. What if causing him an orgasm with that tube in there would harm him? She’d never forgive herself.

One thing she learned from her husband is clear communication always trumps no communication. She came right out and asked the nurse, “Can I jerk him off? Will it hurt him with that tube in there?”

“You know, I think it will be alright, but I’d better ask a doctor,” she said.

The nurse took out her cellphone, dialed, waited, then said, “Dr. Callaway, it’s Sally. Yup, with the president. Mrs. Jackson has a question. Can she masturbate the president with a catheter in place?”

Hearing it said like that made both Jered and Jasmine cringe.

A moment later, the doctor appeared in the doorway, then entered the room. He explained that it’s fine. He went on to say that some men even play with catheters. When he was in medical school, he and another student got some catheters, masturbated each other, and ejaculated without harm.

Talking casually for another moment, the doctor said Jered had been lucky to have been nude when he was shot. He had been literally one minute from dying, and if the doctors had needed to cut off his clothing to assess where the bullet had struck, and to have access to his chest, that delay would have meant the end of him. Furthermore, bullets take some shreds of cloth in on their path into a body, which could have set off a bad infection.

Dr. Callaway bid them good evening and left, probably returning to a chair only a few feet outside the room, to keep close medical tabs on the US president.

As if it wasn’t weird just asking about the concept of giving him a handjob, the first lady lifted the president’s hospital gown again, discovering that the conversation had caused him to harden up. There he was with a boner sticking straight up, with a tube coming out the middle.

Right there in front of the nurse and the Secret Service men, she jerked off the her glorious but injured man, who had a nice orgasm, although he winced with a bit of pain in his ribs at the moment he ejaculated. The semen ran out around the tube, covering the Jasmine’s small hand. It was interesting to see his pulse and blood pressure rise quite high on the monitor.

The newspapers reported the next day, without saying it specifically, that the first lady had been in the hospital room all day, and jerked off the president. How they found that out, she didn’t know, but Jasmine knew it wasn’t the Secret Service men. It must have been the nurse. Probably, someone in the media paid her handsomely for the information.

Several porn websites claimed to have pictures of that handjob, but the ones that Jasmine saw were obviously fakes. It wasn’t the first or last time websites came up with fake presidential pornography. Jasmine and Jered were used to it. In fact one time months ago, they had passionate sex after seeing a photoshopped picture porporting to be them. In that image, she was getting buttfucked. Of course, that’s exactly what Jered and Jasmine did after seeing the picture. It was one of their favorite activities, just like it was pictured.

They joked afterward that they should have had pictures taken, to show the public the true version. They had nothing to hide, right?

Slightly embarrassed by the handjob reports, Jasmine worried about the public’s reaction. Over the next few weeks, she shouldn’t have worried. Both she and Jered were the darlings of the world. They could do no wrong, and everything they did was modeled by people across the earth. Pharmaceutical companies reported that catheter sales spiked during the next month. Go figure!

It took Jered a long time to recover, but recover he did. During his recovery, he did some of his best work to date. His popularity helped. The Democrats, who held a majority, seldom interfered in his decisions.

He was able to get the IRS to eliminate over 200 confusing rulings, greatly simplifying taxation for Americans.

He created a new branch of the military, built from the Army Corps of Engineers, the so-called, “Weather Works,” a very large team to work on fixing global warming, as well as other large natural problems. He even convinced Russia, France, England, Japan, Germany and several other countries to create similar divisions in their militaries. Together with the US, they have started restoring natural balances. They have been making great progress through algae ponds, but that’s another story.

As a side benefit, supporting these new military divisions has been good for the economy due to a true trickle-down effect.

Due to President Jackson’s efforts, lobbying will be illegal approximately two years from now.

Obamacare, also known as the Affordable Care Act, instituted so many years ago, will be entirely replaced by a national two percent sales tax system, in which everyone gets complete medical care for free. This is being rolled out slowly, and will be fully implemented in eight years. In order to do that, President Jackson spearheaded legislation to overhaul the medical insurance and malpractice systems in this country.

Learning from what happened when previous US presidents left office, he also managed to instigate laws that make it impossible for incoming presidents to dismantle previous presidents’ work unless they have majority votes from Americans. Not the electoral college, but straight-up, one vote per American voting.

During Jered’s convalescence, Jasmine started to change. She was putting on a little weight. Sure enough, from just before the assassination attempt, she had become pregnant. They were ecstatically happy about that.

Miraculously, there was no permanent damage except a long scar on his chest, which he proudly showed to reporters during his first press conference after he was able to resume his full duties. He held the press conference entirely nude, side by side with Jasmine, telling the reporters he had ‘nothing to hide.’


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