Caught Archives

Uncle Sam

My parents have always been what I call ‘hippie-rebels.’ They’d do things like go to a nude beach in the summer. They left us kids behind with relatives.

When I turned 18, I was invited to the nude beach for the first time.

I was like, “No way!”

My sister, who was 20 at the time, managed to talk me into it. She kept telling me it wasn’t like what I thought, that I’d have a good time. I doubted it. But, to appease her, and my parents…

So the day arrived. We took the van, since we were quite a group. It included my sister, my younger brother, my parents, my dad’s brother, Uncle Sam, and Aunt Kate, and their grown children Rory and Emily.

Uncle Sam is a kick. You might say he’s eccentric. He has taken to looking like the ‘Uncle Sam’ of American folklore. It probably started as he got older, when people started noticing he does have a natural resemblance.

Now Emily is adopted, and I’ve always had a secret ‘thing’ for her. She’s Asian, tiny, and has long black hair. I’d fuck her in a heartbeat under the right circumstances. That would be circumstances that will never happen. However, the idea of her joining us on the nude beach really perked me up. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all. I’d love to see that girl naked – in person, that is. I have seen a picture of her artistically posing. It’s been in a family album for the past year or so. No one seems to think anything about it, but that picture really sends me.

And that brought up, quite literally, my biggest fear: That I wouldn’t be able to control myself, and I’d have an erection on the beach. That would be so unbelievably devastating! When my sister was trying to talk me into coming, that was the thing I reluctantly asked her about – sheepishly. “What if I get… um,… well…”

“Oh, if you have an erection. It’s no big deal, really.” she insisted. Well, it would be a huge big deal to me.

Having been around the boys locker rooms at the Y and at school, and having seen my fair share of porn on the Internet, and able to stay cool, er, soft, I figured I could manage it at the beach.

Boy, was I wrong! The minute our clothes were off in the warm sun, up it sprang. My penis had a mind of its own. I was so embarrassed. Hell, I was fucking mortified! I wanted to run to the water to hide it, but the water around here is way too cold to actually swim in. Right there in front of my parents, my aunt and uncle, my sister and brother, and worst of all, Emily, I sprang wood as soon as I saw Emily naked. Her ass, oh my God, her ass was tiny, smooth and beautiful. Her tits were to die for. Her front, well she had a fairly small, neatly trimmed patch of black hair that didn’t quite hide her slightly protruding pink inner labia. I tried to control my mind, but my prick got the better of me.

Uncle Sam saw my condition, as did everyone else, but while they all pretended not to notice, he simply said, in a quiet voice, but still loud enough that everyone could hear, “Come here, son.”

Now Uncle Sam is the proverbial jolly, fat fellow. He has quite a stomach. He’s old, too, like maybe sixty years old. And, he’s all covered with hair. He’s not much to look at. Not at all.

I was hesitant. But, he had that look. You know the one – when your father’s brother commands you to do something, you do it. I did it. I walked over, with my erection waving in front of me, to Uncle Sam, who was half standing, half reclining against a boulder on the beach. I’m pretty sure the whole family’s eyes were on me, as were the twenty or so other naked people on the beach.

Uncle Sam, like my father, is kind of a hippie rebel. He does what he wants, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else. Not a bad philosophy to live by, really, but certainly not my style. I have to admit I’m shy. I try not to rock the boat, ever. My uncle, and my dad, and my mother too, they’re all big-time boat rockers. That has always bothered me.

So I walked over to him. He reached out, and just grabbed my dick. Just like that. He just took it in his hand, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, saying, “Here, let me help you with that.”

I felt his other hand, surprisingly warm and soft, start to caress my scrotum. I was shocked, alarmed, I don’t even have a name for it. But his hands were surprisingly comforting. To this day, I can’t figure it out. What he started doing to me felt really, really nice. In a moment, my fear, or worry, or embarrassment, whatever you want to call it, was gone. I was starting to moan and writhe in some sort of sexual ecstasy. After a few seconds, I didn’t even try to hide it. It came vaguely to my awareness that I was also enjoying all the attention. Somewhere around 30 pairs of eyes were on me, seeing me get a handjob of all things from my fat, naked uncle. And I was loving it! That’s the weird part. I’m not gay or anything. At least I don’t think so.

All too soon, it was over. I squirted several shots of semen into the sand, as Uncle Sam turned my body slightly so it wouldn’t get on him. Afterward, my knees were as weak as my face was red. The embarrassment immediately swept back over me.

Not knowing the right etiquette for such a situation, I just said, “Thank you, Uncle Sam.”

Afterward, no one said anything. In fact, I kind of wish Emily might have said something. Even if it was teasing. I would have liked to discuss it with her. Needless to say, the erection problem was gone, and I actually enjoyed the rest of the afternoon on the beach.

Uncle Don Broke My Penis

My grandfather died when my father was 22 and his brother, my Uncle Don, was 24. Grandfather was a drinker, and managed to kill himself in a fiery single-car collision. He had some money that my dad and Uncle Don inherited in equal shares two years before I was born.

Uncle Don convinced my dad to lend him his half of the money so Don could buy a mobile home park. Somehow, Dad was never able to get repaid even after Don started accumulating wealth. While Don eventually owned three mobile home parks, Dad, Mom, and I rented one of Don’s homes. It was the only single-wide trailer in the park. To get technical, our’s was a mobile home. Anything made after 1974 is called a ‘manufactured home.’ Dad worked as a bus driver.

Mom ran off when I was twelve. The story goes that Don sexually assaulted her, resulting in her having two broken teeth. She took him to court, but lost the case, since there was no proof that he had done anything. Fearing for her life, she disappeared.

When I was 18, I decided to learn something about business so I started attending City College, which was quite difficult financially, even though I still lived with Dad. I had this notion that I’d like to own a mobile home park someday, seeing how profitable they’ve been for my uncle. Unlike Don, I’d treat my tenants right. I figured I could learn enough about business to manage my own park some day.

I was still in my first year, when something went wrong with the circuitry in our trailer. Without electric, there was no heat.

Don said he’d send his handyman, but knowing Uncle Don, that wasn’t going to happen any time soon. Don was well-known for treating his tenants badly, even my father, his own brother. After all, his tenants have no choice. Their mobile homes are fastened to the ground. It would cost them tens of thousands of dollars to move.

Uncle Don did invite Dad and I to stay in his place until the electric got fixed. I stayed in Nancy’s room, and Dad stayed in Ned’s room.

Those were my late cousins. Nancy committed suicide at 16, and Ned had taken up drugs and drinking. Soon, Ned was hopelessly addicted. Don threw him out. He was seen around town from time to time, barely hanging on. One day, he had fallen asleep behind a dumpster that was in back of Safeway. The next morning, a garbage truck picked up the dumpster, emptied it, and set it down right on Ned. But that may not be what killed him. According to the police, he might have already been dead, either from a drug overdose, or exposure to the cold. The poor guy had a cast on one leg when he died, so I can only imagine what his last weeks were like.

My first night at Don’s, I went to bed around midnight. It was warm in Don’s house, so I figured I’d jerk off on top of the blankets before falling asleep. I was just about to orgasm when the door burst open and the light came on.

“I’ll have none of that in my house!” Don shouted. He was obviously drunk as he staggered toward me. He was carrying something that turned out to be a tennis racket. He took a swing and hit me right in one testicle and the side of my still erect penis.

I crumpled up in pain as he wobbled out of the room. My balls, my left testicle in particular, hurt so bad, I couldn’t breathe. I felt like I was choking as I lay there with my hands between my legs. Ten minutes later, I could breathe normally, but the pain was still unbelievable. I couldn’t even get off the bed to turn out the light.

An hour went by as I just lay there, not only in pain, but freaking out that I was badly injured. The testicle pain started to subside, and then I noticed that my penis was in pain also.

I pulled my hands away and took a look. My penis was as large as if it was erect. In fact, it was bigger in diameter than I had ever seen it, but it was soft and squishy. It had a big black lump on the left side, and curved oddly to the right, much like the picture below.

Not knowing what else to do, I yelled for Don to come take me to the hospital. After probably 15 minutes, he came back to my room, evidently a bit more sober. I showed him my penis. He refused to take me to the hospital, saying “It’s not that bad,” as he walked out, closing the door behind him.

The only thing I could think to do was call an ambulance. That’s how I got to the hospital. While the ambulance was on its way, I tried putting on my underwear. I couldn’t straighten up enough to do that, so I ended up putting on my sweat pants. I stayed barefoot.

After two painful hours in the waiting room, still barefoot, during which my testicle pain went away, but my dick started aching worse than anything in my life. My dad arrived and sat with me, occasionally swearing under his breath about Don.

When I was finally called into a treatment area, the doctors and nurses all took a look at my penis. I wasn’t embarrassed about them seeing my junk due to the condition I was in. How could something like this happen to me? My fear was such that my heart had been beating really fast for literally hours. A urologist was consulted. It took him another hour to arrive. He looked at my penis, held it gingerly, shifting it this way and that. Man alive, did that hurt!

He quit examining me, and sat on a stool to tell me the situation: I’d need surgery, which was to be performed later that morning. My testicle was fine, but Don had literally broken my penis. The side of the tennis racket, hitting my erect penis like that, caused a fracture of my left corpus cavernosum, the spongy tissue that holds blood when one is erect.

They were going to do something called ‘degloving’ to reach and stitch up the affected area. The idea totally weirded me out. Frankly, it scared the shit out of me. The surgeon was going to detach the skin of my penis all around just behind the head. Then, they dissect and peel the skin away all the way down, so the skin is piled around the base of the penis. That gives them access to the broken area. They’d do the repair and then finally, they would pull the skin back up, and stitch it back in place under the head.

Even with the medicine they gave me, I didn’t sleep much during the few hours left of that night, and was still in considerable pain.

The surgery happened, and my recovery was painful, but uneventful. When a nurse changed my bandages the first time, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was circumcised! I so totally didn’t want that. When the urologist came in for a consult, I asked him why that happened. He said, “I thought you’d like that.”

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

The afternoon after my surgery, when I was still woozy from the drugs, Don stormed into my hospital room, and started yelling at me about the $2,700 the ambulance company charged him for the one-mile ride to the hospital. Two orderlies came and took him away.

I woke up a couple of times every night with sharply painful nocturnal erections. For days, I wanted badly to jerk off, but that fully wasn’t going to happen.

A week later, the stitches were removed by an attractive young intern. She had flaming red hair. I thought she’d use anesthetic, but she said, “You won’t need it.” That scared me, until she started snipping and pulling the stitches out. She was right. It didn’t hurt a bit. I became erect, and was remarkably embarrassed about that. She only said, “Aw, it’s fine.”

I noticed that my dick was quite numb as she was working on it.

Finally, after three weeks, I was starting to get back to normal and was way overdue for a good wank. Ever so carefully, I tried moving the skin up and down. It was totally numb. I could feel my penis between my fingertips, but the dick itself felt like a broomstick. There was no sensation at all. Still, I was able to jerk off and cum. What a relief!

The numbness worried me very much. I asked the urologist, and he said the feeling would eventually come back. It did, but it took six months. It took even longer than that to get used to being circumcised. In fact, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it. At least the terrible sensitivity of the glans has gone mostly away. Just touching against my underwear was like an unbearable tickle for the first few weeks. To this day, my penis feels weird when I rub it, like there are little lumps under the skin.

Meanwhile, a friend of a friend had a father who was a lawyer and suggested I sue Uncle Don. The case dragged on for months. Meanwhile, I was back in our trailer with Dad, and back in college. In a courtroom appearance, pictures of my penis were shown. It was terribly embarrassing. First, the horrible picture of my black, lumpy, bent, fractured penis. Then my penis with stitches under the corona, and fully erect. The urologist had injected something called Caverject to make me artificially hard to check his work.

To my amazement, the lawyer won. I was awarded 1.5 million dollars. The lawyer got $500,000, leaving me a cool million. I was planning to buy a mobile home park of my own.

The only problem was, the money hadn’t been transferred yet. Don was pulling some legal shit that was slowing the process.

Just when I was figuring I’d never see the money, something unexpected happened. Don had gone out drinking, and somehow drove his car right into a bridge abutment. He messed up his innards something terrible. He languished in terrible pain in the hospital for three weeks before he died. I shouldn’t say this, but I was secretly happy. The world is better off without a guy like that.

I figured that was the end of my million dollars, but even more surprising was the call from Don’s lawyer. My fucked up uncle had written a will. He had left two of his mobile home parks to my father, and one to me. Mine was assessed at over $5 million.

Tony and Anne By The Pool

I had met Tony recently. I knew he, like I, was married with grown kids. I hadn’t met his wife yet.

I thought I knew him well enough to drop by his house unannounced. Friends can do that, right?

So, I drove over and rang the doorbell. His wife answered. What a knockout! She’s Asian and petite. I’ve always been attracted to small women, and Asian women! Her name is Anne. She told me to go around back, Tony was by the pool.

It made sense, it was a hot Saturday afternoon. I was thinking, as I walked along the side of the house toward the back yard, ‘How lucky, Tony and Anne have a pool.’ I wished my wife, Lorie, and I had one.

I came around the corner of the house, and saw the concrete area surrounding the pool, and the pool itself with a big inflatable toy idly floating on the water. But I didn’t see Tony – at first.

My gaze went to some loungers by the side of the pool, and there was Tony, laying in one of them. At that moment, I quickly decided I should turn and sneak away quickly and quietly. Because, you see, Tony was not only stark naked, but masturbating a very erect penis!

As I started to turn, Tony yelled, “Oh, Hello Tom. So nice of you to drop by!”

Now, I couldn’t just sneak away. I felt like I was caught. Caught with my pants down. How weird is that? I mean, I catch the guy jerking off, and I’m the one who feels trapped, embarrassed!

What could I do? Hesitantly, I turned back toward Tony and took a step closer.

“Oh Tom, it’s fine, I was just jerking off. No need to run off like that,” he laughed.

Then he added, “Why don’t you join me?”

What in the world does one do in such a circumstance? Of course I’d masturbated a thousand times. I was no stranger to the activity. But with another guy? Never!

My mind was racing. What should I do? What should I do? It all happened in a moment. My logical mind said there was nothing wrong with it. Really, what’s wrong with masturbating with a friend? But there was my whole upbringing fighting against me. Wasn’t nudism generally wrong? What about the church? My religion, I mean? What does it teach about this? Trying hard to figure it out, I realized there was nothing bad about wanking with a friend. Why, just a month or so ago in church, the preacher, mostly directing his sermon to some of the youngsters in the congregation, alluded that masturbation was an acceptable alternative to premarital sex. I was almost shocked at the time, but I knew that he was helping the kids by saying that.

Well, I couldn’t just walk away. To say something, anything, wouldn’t work. Like, “Hey Tony, I see you’re busy.” Nope. Or, “Oh my God!” No, that wouldn’t work either.

I must have looked ridiculous approaching the empty lounge chair next to him so slowly. Tony just smiled – and continued stroking his erection. I couldn’t help myself. I glanced, then I stared. Then, catching myself staring at his hand working on his penis, I tried looking away, but that wasn’t quite right either. Like, I was obviously trying to look away. Geez!

It took me a full two minutes, but finally my Sandals, T-shirt, shorts and underwear came off, and I was in the lounger next to my friend. My penis, however, stayed soft.

Frankly, looking back on it, I found the scene surprisingly erotic. This was some serious ice-breaking. To be able to jerk off with a male friend was something I had sort of fantasized about, but here it was becoming real. But it also scared the bejeepers out of me. Why, I don’t know exactly. Maybe it was because his wife might catch us. Or a neighbor. But, no, there was a tall fence all the way around the yard. And Anne, well I guess she knew what her husband was doing out here. Or did she? Hell, I had no idea. But what if Anne caught me? Would that be right? My mind was still spinning. Meanwhile, after stroking my soft noodle next to Tony for a while, it was starting to stiffen up.

Tony had been saying some stuff, but I barely heard it through the noise going on in my brain. I pieced back together what he was saying, “Nice cock, Tom. I’m so glad you decided to drop by.”

I was thinking how totally accepting he was. And more, he hadn’t even flinched when I showed up. I mean, if I was caught wanking in my own back yard by a new friend, I’d probably run screaming into the house.

I was starting to get that ‘gonna cum’ feeling, so I slowed down. I wanted this to last. Evidently, Tony was quite good at edging, since he had been wanking before I arrived, and was still wanking away, evidently in no hurry, and without a care in the world.

Suddenly, the sliding glass door on the back of the house slid open. Adrenaline shot through my system. Anne appeared carrying a tray. What was I supposed to do? Should I grab my underpants and put them back on? No time for that. Should I go somewhere? Do something? What? Talk about a deer in the headlights! I was totally frozen, still with my hand on my erect penis, but I had stopped stroking.

“I thought you boys would enjoy some lemonade,” she said as she approached us with the tray, handing me a glass, and the other glass to Tony. To accept the glass, I had to take my hand off my penis. I accepted the glass, my penis standing straight up in the slight but warm breeze. Tony and Anne acted as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

What could possibly happen next? Might she take off her dress and join us? Wouldn’t that be something? But it didn’t happen. She returned to the house with her empty tray.

Tony and I talked a bit about tennis of all things as we sipped our lemonade. He kept stroking with his other hand. I followed his lead. The distraction of the drinks kept us away from orgasming. After we had finished the drinks and talked a bit more, Tony started tensing up and grunting. I was able to witness several shots of white semen shooting out of his penis and onto his belly.

I’ve always liked cumshots in porn. I don’t know why. So, naturally, that set me off, and I started ejaculating also.

Afterward, we toweled off the sperm, and then jumped in the pool. While soaking in the deliciously cool water, we talked a bit more. This time, it wasn’t about tennis. It was about sex and masturbation. “Oh, yes,” Tony informed me, “Sometimes Anne joins me out by the pool. We do have sex, but more often, we really enjoy masturbating side by side.”

He went on to tell me this was the first time she had seen another man jerking off with her husband. Tony suspected she really enjoyed seeing that, and suggested I should come by more often. He even went so far as to say she might join us. I asked whether my wife was invited.

“Hell yes!” was his answer.

That excited me in more ways than I can say. Lorie is adventurous, and might just go for this. Plus, she’s a real looker with her tall, slim body and beautiful red hair. I’d like Anne and Tony to see her in all her glory.

I couldn’t wait to get home and tell Lorie about my interesting afternoon.

Unmet Naked Neighbor

I feel privileged to live on the top floor of a condo complex. It’s the 12th floor. You see, I have a sun room that the other apartments below me don’t have.

The place used to be referred to as “The Twin Towers,” but since 911, no one says that any more. I’d have a great view of the city, but the other tower is directly in front of my sun room, blocking the view. The condo directly across from me had been empty for the first year I lived there.

I had taken to experimenting with hydroponics and microgreens in my sunroom, sometimes just in my underwear. After a while, since no one had moved into the opposing apartment’s sunroom, I started working in my sunroom absolutely naked. It felt very freeing.

So there I was in my sunroom one day, replanting one of the trays, when I saw some movement out of the corner of my eye. There, in the sunroom across from me were some moving guys bringing in a Bowflex exercise machine. Oops! I got out of there in a hurry, and put on some clothes before I returned. When I came back, one of the moving guys grinned, and gave me a thumbs up. I was terribly embarrassed.

A couple of days later, harvesting a micro tray, while reflecting on what a loss it was that I wouldn’t be able to be naked in my own sunroom any more, I saw the new owner. She was a super-hot, kind of small, Asian chick. ‘Oh well,’ I thought, ‘at least it will be fun to see her from time to time.’ She saw me and smiled. I smiled back.

Nothing much happened for the next couple of weeks. I tended my little farm, fully clothed of course. I saw the chick next door from time to time. She’d pop into her room for a minute or two, then leave. She didn’t seem to really use the room much. We waved, we smiled, and that was that.

She had set her place up as a sort of recreational place, I guess. I mean, she had a recliner, a sofa, and that Bowflex machine in there.

One day, I happened to see her moving around, and took a quick glance. She was wearing a string bikini, and working out on the Bowflex. Did I mention, she’s super-hot?

As usual, she waved, I waved, and that was that. Well, almost. Remembering the time the moving man gave my naked self a thumbs-up, without thinking it through, I gave her a thumbs up. She smiled big. Little did I know that must have set something off in her.

The reason I say that, is one night I popped into my sunroom for my iPad which I had left in there. Her lights were on low. I could just make her out on her Bowflex. She was topless! What beautiful tits! Olive skin, small, and firm, with perfectly little nipples. Oh, my god, she was bottomless, too! It was dark, but I could clearly see her neatly trimmed crotch hair between her legs.

I didn’t know what to do. It was pretty obvious I had seen her. After all, I had turned on my lights, so there’s no way she couldn’t have seen me seeing her. My first thought was to quickly leave the room and give her privacy. What stopped me is what she did next. She gave me a thumbs up! I did the only thing I could think to do, I smiled huge, like a cheesy, lecherous fool, and gave her a thumbs up back. What a fucking idiot! Then, I quickly turned out the light and left the room. I had forgotten my tablet, but no way was I going back for it.

You can bet I jerked off big-time remembering the sight.

The next day, I figured she’d be so embarrassed by what happened that I wouldn’t see her for a while, or she’d always be fully clothed from then on.

Not so. The next time I saw her was two days later, in the late afternoon when I came home from work. She was sitting on her Bowflex facing backward. She had brought up a TV tray and was working away on a laptop. But, here’s the thing: She was as naked as the day she was born. She looked up, saw me, smiled, and kept right on working, like nothing was wrong.

What does a good neighbor do in such a situation? I immediately left my sunroom. Sitting in my lining room, thinking about what had just happened, I was an incredible mix of emotions. I was sexually excited. I was embarrassed, as if it had been her seeing me naked. Or, was I embarrassed for having seen her? I couldn’t figure it out. But my feelings started to evolve. I just got kicked out of my own sunroom. And I had a tray of greens that was ready to trim. Overdue in fact. I was kind of upset. I wanted back into my sunroom, damn it!

It took me ten minutes to figure it out: I decided it was my sunroom, after all, and she was evidently some sort of exhibitionist. I mean, she had to know I’d see her eventually. I hadn’t thought that through. Sure, she wanted me to see her naked, or certainly, she wouldn’t have let that happen.

Oddly, my heart was racing as I reentered my little farm. She was still sitting there, working on her laptop. She smiled. I smiled. We both went about our own business.

This went on for literally two weeks. Every couple of days, I’d see her naked doing stuff in her sunroom. It had an effect on me. I wanked in my bedroom every time after seeing her.

Slowly it dawned on me that two could play at this game. One day I sheepishly showed up in my sunroom without a shirt. As usual, she smiled and I smiled, and we went about our business. Except for one thing. Holy smokes! She had removed all that black hair from her vagina!

Well, fast forward a couple more weeks. I had started showing up in my sunroom with just underpants, and finally, after feeling quite silly and everything else, I finally got up the balls to go in there naked. She saw me, and smiled, but no differently than usual. It was as if I had always worked in there naked.

A couple more weeks passed, and both of us, doing our things in our sunrooms fully naked became the norm. One time, feeling particularly horny, I started developing an erection in there. I thought about running out of the room, then decided ‘fuck it,’ and just continued refilling a tray, erection be damned. She certainly saw it, but gave no indication.

Now, me with erections was becoming common. It was her that took it to the next level. I came in one day, and saw her sitting on her sofa, which faced my room, by the way. She was naked, of course, but what was that I was seeing? I couldn’t believe it. She was rubbing her vagina with one hand, and squeezing a nipple with the other. There was no mistaking it! The second I arrived, she quit, and started to get off the sofa, as if she was going to run and hide. Instead, she settled back down, smiled at me, and resumed what she was doing, with one hand you know where, and the other squeezing her titty. She got caught, evidently at least partly intended, I’m sure, and now she was giving me a full-on show.

Well, when in Rome… My dick was already hard. I touched it while she stared right at me. At first I didn’t stroke, but then I did. Sheepishly, shyly at first, kind of wondering something like, ‘is this alright?’ Within a couple of minutes, I had approached the window, and was forcing my pelvis forward and ejaculating into one of my trays as she continued to rub herself, smiling big, and watching me intently. As soon as I came, she tensed all up, and I could tell she was having a super-strong orgasm.

This has turned into a regular thing with us. We don’t always jerk off in front of each other, but have done it at least a dozen times during the past couple of months.

Yesterday, she held up a big piece of paper against the window. Written on it was, “My name is Lanie. What’s your name?” We ended up exchanging phone numbers. I’m going to phone her this afternoon. For some reason, I’m freaking out, in a good way. My heart is beating a million beats per minute just thinking about it.

Sperm Glue

Growing up, I was always the shy one, and my twin sister, who doesn’t look anything like me, by the way, was always the outgoing, loud, but also the protective one.

I know it’s crazy but we seldom argued. We grew up in a loving, and open-minded family.

One day when my parents were downstairs and my sister and I were in her room playing Monopoly, she showed me that a corner of the board was peeling up. She just came right out and asked, “Does sperm make good glue?”

I told her the truth, “I have no idea.”

Even at that age, I knew she meant ‘semen,’ but didn’t bother to correct her.

“Do you want to find out?”

I enthusiastically told her yes.

I didn’t have to take anything off, because it was a hot day, and the air conditioning in our home didn’t keep up, so both of us were starkers.

The Monopoly game was forgotten as she had me recline on her bed, and she reached out to start producing semen from me. My little, hairless penis became erect right away. I had to show her how to stroke me up and down because never having done it before, she was hesitant, and way too gentle, barely touching me at all. It was less than a minute that I felt that wonderful feeling, made even more wonderful because it was her hand on my penis, not mine for a change.

Because I was still so young, only about three drops of clear liquid came out. She carefully collected it, and applied it to the corner of the Monopoly board. I felt weird afterward, so I left her room, with the game unfinished.

The next day we laughingly discovered that semen makes terrible glue.

It wasn’t the last time we played together. Our parents even caught us once. I thought I was going to get killed, but all Mom said was a brief lecture against actual sex, that we couldn’t risk getting my sister pregnant. I totally understood, Mom didn’t directly say so, but that basically meant that oral sex and anal sex were not off limits.

So Busted

There was this girl in the office I was hot on. She and I had smiled at each other as we rode the elevator, passed in the hallway and so on during the past month. I thought she might like me. But other than the occasional “hello” we had never spoken. I didn’t even know if she was married or something.

Finally, one day, we had a minute to talk. I wanted to impress her. She said she was into bicycling. This was great, since I am also. I took out my phone to show her some pictures from a recent ride. She held my phone, looking at the pictures, first swiping forward, then back to the first picture. Then she swiped back one more time, and my heart jumped into my throat.

Because there was a picture I thought I had deleted and she saw it very clearly. It was me, stark naked, standing sideways, showing off my boner sticking out, and slightly upward. I had taken the picture fooling around during a masturbation session. At the time, it made me horny to think of those guys who will jerk off right there in full view of anyone on the Internet. Of course I’d never do that, but to take the naked erect selfie was in itself, quite a thrill.

I guess what happened is I actually took two or three pictures, and I thought I had deleted them after I ejaculated that day, but I must have not gotten every one.

I was so fucking embarrassed! How was she going to react. In any case, it couldn’t be good. I had only a second to contemplate the trouble I was in.

She could have done anything. She could have held the phone up, and loudly announced to everyone in the office, “Hey, look at Paul!”

Instead, she pulled me into the copy room where she could quietly ask me, “So you like this sort of thing?”

Wow, how does one answer a question like that?

While I tried to figure out how to answer it, she was alternately studying me, my face, my expression, and looking at the phone thumbing around looking for more pictures like that one. Fortunately, it was the only one.

“Well…” I started to answer, but had no words.

Finally, I figured, like my parents always said, ‘honesty is the best policy.’

“I do get horny at times.”

“So do I,” she answered almost immediately.

I’m sure you can figure out what happened next. She and I have become an item. I now have pictures of her in naked and suggestive poses on my phone, and she has pictures of me and my boner on her phone.

Oh, and one more thing: There is now a short video on the Internet of me laying on her bed, and she’s giving me a wonderful edging handjob where I finally blow a big load.

I’m not sure how I feel about that video. Some days it embarrasses me to think about it, to know thousands of people have seen me naked, with an erection, and cumming. I wish there was a way to somehow remove all copies of that video from the web. But most of the time I’m rather proud of that little movie!

Sherelle

Naked Woman Reading by Edgar Degas

It was the early days of smartphones, and I felt lucky to have one. I knew I was playing fast and loose with my phone. I removed the password protection so I didn’t have any delay in its use. I had a lot of what you’d call ‘personal’ pictures on the phone. For instance, I had a picture of me sucking my brother’s cock that I had sent to him, but also stored on my own phone.

One day, I was talking to this hot girl, Sherelle. I thought she was a long-shot. Out of my league, so it was a miracle that we were talking in homeroom that morning. She asked about my brother and sister. I figured I’d show her some photos. skipping quickly over that oral sex one before I handed her the phone, I showed here a legitimate picture of my brother.

“Handsome kid,” she said. Before I could grab the phone back, she started flipping through my other pictures. I wouldn’t have thought she even knew how to use a smartphone. I hadn’t expected that. Sure enough, she came across the picture of me all naked with a big erection, and my mouth around my brother’s little penis. I was so embarrassed! I’m sure my cheeks turned red, and I had no idea what to say. I was like, “I…, I… um…”

Sherelle said, “So you like that sort of thing?”

Again, all I could say was, “I… um… well.,..” I was so freaked out, I was about to pee my pants. I figured she might do something like carry the phone up to the teacher’s desk and show her. Or, maybe hold it up and show it to everyone.

She didn’t do that. Instead, in a quiet, calm voice she said, “I like that sort of thing too,” and handed the phone back. That was all.

For the next few days, I couldn’t face her. But on about the third day, again in homeroom, she turned me and asked, “Hey, can we get together sometime?” I was flabbergasted! Once again, my English failed me. “I…. um…., well… sure…”

I kind of thought that it wouldn’t turn out to be anything. That maybe she’d just want to talk, or maybe even make fun of me. Then a pang of fear struck me. Maybe she was setting me up, and would tell a circle of friends what she discovered, and force me to show everyone my phone.

Life can be better than it seems. I always have worried too much. She did invite me over to her house. It turns out she’s been latchkey since she was 14 years old. Her parents work until about 6pm. That gave us a couple of hours. No sooner did I get there than she said, “I liked what I saw in the picture.”

I wasn’t quite as embarrassed this time. “Well, thank you, I think.”

“Do you like getting blowjobs, or just giving them?”

I was actually able to answer intelligibly, even though my body was literally shaking. I’m not sure why I was jittering like that. It was warm in her room. Was it the expectation of what might happen? Was it because she knew my secret? Was it just too weird? I said, “Oh, I like getting even more than giving.”

“I’ve never sucked a dick. I’ve been wanting to. Finally, the opportunity has come up. Would you mind?”

Would I mind! Holy shit! The hottest girl in the whole school wanted to suck my dick!

Well, I have to tell you that first time wasn’t very romantic. I pulled down my pants and stood in front of her bed, while she knelt on the floor, and literally sucked my cock. It was wonderful, and I erected almost instantly. She took it out of her mouth, and held it this way and that in her fingertips like it was a science specimen, which I have to say felt as good as the sucking. She felt my balls in my sack. At one point she squished them a bit hard and I jumped, but otherwise it was the most delightful thing I had experienced in my life. She resumed blowing me, and I came in her mouth. She pulled away, and looked like she was going to puke for a moment, holding her mouth open. Then she closed it and swallowed. And, then she smiled.

It took a minute for me to recover. I had stopped shaking, but now my knees were so weak I had to practically fall against her bed.

“Can we do it again?” she asked.

I had to explain that I’d need time to recover.

“How about Thursday after school?”

Now, I pride myself on my intelligence, and this was my chance. “Only if I can give you a blowjob too.”

“Yes, sure, I think I’d like that.”

I had to wait two whole days for Thursday afternoon. When school finally ended, we didn’t waste a moment. We practically ran to her house. We took all our clothes off this time. She had tits. I mean, really big tits. I had no idea. They were beautiful! She showed me how to suck her nipples, which I found delightful. I kind of knew what she was feeling, because my brother and I had played with each other’s nipples also. I rolled around on the bed with her, my rock-hard penis sticking straight out, and then pushing between her legs near her knees. She squeezed her legs together as I continued to suck one nipple, then the other. My body automatically started pumping in and out between her knees, and in a moment, I found myself squirting cum over her legs.

“Oh, gross!” she laughed, cleaning up with some paper towels.

I didn’t lose my erection. She instructed me to go down on her, and I tasted pussy for the first time. What a great aroma, although I found the taste wasn’t very noticeable. Just a bit salty is all. Suddenly, I felt her go stiff as a board, and she started moaning really loud. She was having an orgasm, of course, but I was so inexperienced, I stopped, thinking I was doing something wrong. She grabbed my head, and placed me back against her vagina. That day I found out that girls can easily have more than one orgasm in a row.

As the weeks turned into months, into years, I found out a lot more about girls from Sherelle, like how fun long extended French kissing is, how to marry a girl, have kids with her, and be deeply in love for years and years.

Security Guard

I took a job that sounded interesting, or more specifically I took the job because it paid well, and sounded easy, even though I’d have to move to Canada for six months. When I was told the details, it sounded just too good to be true.

I was to watch a bank of monitors showing webcam views of a storage facility. I was watching for theft or sabotage. I was to be issued a gun, but never, ever use it. Furthermore, if I failed to notice something on the monitors, I would not be held accountable. You see, it was an insurance company mandated thing. This storage yard had replacement parts and supplies for a huge oil sands mining operation. It was huge, covering multiple acres, and I was told there was over a billion dollars worth of inventory there. The insurance company required a ‘guard.’ That was all. There was nothing about the guard having specific duties, or training. That was me. I had no useful education or experience. About the only thing I was good at was using my right hand to entertain myself.

Actually, I’m a doctor. Really! I have a doctorate in English literature. That turns out to be a pretty useless degree. No worries, my plan was to write, get published, and become an established author. It sounded to me like I could bring a little notebook computer and do that on the job. In fact, I asked about that, and was told it would be fine. How cool, right?

So I was interviewed, and they were impressed that I had a Phd, which evidently qualified me as a security guard.

A month later found me in Canada with no friends, and no acquaintances. The first few days were nice and peaceful. The boss showed me around, then told me with a smile that my ‘job’ was to look at the monitors occasionally, and fill the seat. The insurance requirement would be satisfied. Nothing would ever happen in the storage yard because it was just too remote.

He was right. Sometimes, I’d see a mechanic or someone come in and get a part. Everyone seemed legitimate. More often, I’d see a family of raccoons, or a deer. Once, I saw some sort of wild cat. Of course I brought my little laptop, and I did some writing, but have to admit, I wasn’t really managing to write anything significant. Pretty soon found me looking at porn on my computer. Perhaps what led me to that was the incredible loneliness. My girlfriend back home, with whom I Skyped every day at first, tapered off. We both knew that my six-month stint was going to be too long. Pretty soon, she faded out entirely. I hadn’t met anyone in the freezing little company shantytown. The only guy I ever saw was Kalvin, the guy who followed my shift. He was quite similar to me. Same age, same general characteristics, similar interests. He also brought his laptop. He was planning to create the great work of software, just as I planned to write the great work of fiction. He was from Toronto, where I was from Los Angeles. But it was the same for him. He knew no one here.

More and more, as my shift ended and his began, he’d arrive a bit early, and I’d stay a bit late, and we’d talk about this and that. I dare say, he and I were almost becoming friends.

Of course the one thing I’d never admit to him is during my shift, I had been looking at that porn instead of working. Furthermore, I had started jerking off, right there in front of all those monitors. I mean, after all, no one ever came into the little office. Since the shift was 8 hours, I learned not to cum too soon, but instead, I could bring myself to the brink of ejaculating over and over again, finally cumming about a half-hour before Kal arrived.

Except one day, there I was, leaning way back in the comfy chair in front of those monitors, having decided to remove all my clothing, with a hand wrapped around my fully erect cock, when the door sprang open. It was Kalvin of course. He had decided to visit a bit longer with me by arriving a half-hour early. He saw what was going on of course, and immediately walked back out and closed the door.

Talk about being caught red-handed! I was fucking mortified! I tried to say something as he was already running out and closing the door. I was like, “I… I… I’m…” I couldn’t think of what to say. How to explain away or excuse what was pretty obviously going on.

My penis went totally soft instantly. There’s be no ejaculation for me, that was for sure! If I was in my teens again, I would have burst into tears. I almost did anyway. No doubt my job would end early.

My mind started reeling. The boss would find out. I mean, what’s to stop Kalvin from telling what he just saw? They might not even let me finish my shift. How embarrassing. I was a fucking perv. Well, at least I’d be done with freezing cold Canada. Oddly, that thought made me smile. Canada wasn’t really that bad. It’s just that I hadn’t met anyone yet. I was lonely. I didn’t hate Canada. I smiled again. Then the oddest thing started happening. I started laughing. I know it doesn’t make any sense under the circumstances, but the whole situation was suddenly very funny. It wasn’t that bad really. So, Kalvin caught me jerking off on the job. It wasn’t so terrible. I mean, the job wasn’t a real job anyway. It wasn’t like I was harming anyone, or even shirking a duty. What duty, right?

Then, whoosh, the door opened again. Of course by now I was fully clothed. I figure it would be Kalvin and the boss, or someone. Maybe a real security guard. No, it was just Kalvin. His face was red. At first, I couldn’t hear his words, since my mind was in such a whirl. I had to focus and try to piece what he was saying back together. He was apologizing to me. He was sorry he had burst in on me. Then, the best part, “Hey, I wank too. What else is there to do around here?”

It took me an extraordinarily long time to process that. He jerks off too? Is that what he just said? Again, I lost his next words, as my mind was working on that last bit. Again, I figured out what he was saying it several seconds later. “Dude, you’ve got a nice-looking cock there.”

I knew Kal was sort of a ‘say whatever’ kind of person, but I wouldn’t have expected that. In fact, I wasn’t sure he actually said that, so I couldn’t dare answer to it. I figured something non-committal would be OK. “Um, thanks.” Then I added, “You too.”

That was stupid. Kalvin laughed. I laughed.

A few days later, the whole thing was forgotten, or so I thought. I had learned not to be caught wanking a half-hour before the end of my shift. Kalvin, on the other hand, did not arrive early any more. Not even five minutes early. We also didn’t hang out as much between shifts like we had before. Too bad.

Then one day, he did arrive five minutes early, and he looked odd, like he had something on his mind but couldn’t say it. He started talking about the weather. You know, the freezing, sleet in your face, cold Canada weather. Then, he added, somewhat incongruously, “Thank goodness for masturbation.”

I don’t know if he said that as a sort of finish to our little situation a few days earlier, or whether he was leading up to something. Not knowing quite to say, I simply added, “Yes, thank goodness for masturbation.”

“I do it all the time.”

I was very happy to hear him say that. It was some kind of excellent ice breaker.

“Yes, Kal, I’m so lonely up here that’s all I do, other than watch TV and eat and sleep.”

“Me too. Yes, thank goodness for masturbation.” Then he hesitated for a moment. I kind of knew what he might say next, and I was worried he’d chicken out.

“You know, maybe…”

Then he stopped. Damn. I had to finish his sentence for him, hoping I hadn’t misunderstood the signals.

“…Maybe we should wank together sometime?”

“Yes!” he answered excitedly.

“Dude, I’m all in.”

And with that, we stripped right there in the little office and had a fucking great time. Well, not really a ‘fucking’ great time. It was a sucking and handjob great time. The first of many.

RV Hot Tub Oops

I was at an RV resort with my big old diesel pusher motorhome. I had stayed there for a while, because even though it’s fun driving the thing, packing up everything inside so it doesn’t crash around, unhooking the cables and hoses, then hooking back up and unpacking elsewhere is a big deal, so I didn’t change locations all that often. I had gotten to know people at the RV park, especially the people in the office, pretty well.

They had a public pool and hot tub. Sometimes my wife would join me in the hot tub. Sometimes we’d meet other couples in the hot tub and have great conversations.

One particular evening before dark, it was cold out, so I was the only one who ventured into the tub. There was no one around. I turned on the jets for a while, but it seemed kind of noisy, so I turned them back off to enjoy a nice quiet, warm soak. An important detail is that when the jets are running, the surface of the water is obscured with suds. When off, it’s crystal clear.

I started getting horny. Since no one was around, I eased out of my trunks, and started idly playing with my penis. Pretty soon, I was solidly erect, and wanking pretty vigorously. Now, I wouldn’t cum in the hot tub. That would be gross for anyone who might come in later or the next day.

That’s not a problem for me. I’ve learned to master continuous orgasms without ejaculating, which is great fun. I’ve written that up elsewhere on this website. So there I was dry orgasming away, when I happened to look up. There on a pole, overlooking the hot tub, was a perfectly positioned security camera.

The picture above is the very penis that I’m sure everyone in the office got a good view of.

Right After Geometry

This short story assumes we’re not quite done with Covid yet, and that society is going to have to make some important changes. Enjoy!

For me, Masturbation Session is right after Geometry. Just like in high schools everywhere, the room is always warm, so its fine taking off everything but our masks. When it first started, I was a little concerned about the boys, and the other girls, seeing my floppy breasts, but I eventually got over it. Especially since Georgette’s breasts are floppier than mine.

I’m as horny a kid as the others, most of the time. But like everyone, I have my days when I really don’t want to rub my vagina. I just do some homework on my Chromebook or something.

On this particular day, I was especially horny. I had an orgasm as I watched Jerome, the tall boy next to me squirt cum on his belly. He knew I was watching, so he made a real show of grunting and arching his back.

Still horny, I turned my attention to Kyle, on my left. He’s a real dreamboat! He was wanking away, and something naughty just came over me. I scooted my mat over, reached out, and replaced his hand with mine. I just wrapped my fingers around his penis. His expression was pure joy. The teacher, not so much! Of course she saw me. I was in so much trouble!

In the principal’s office, she told me that the whole reason for Masturbation Class was to keep our horniness under control. By masturbating, we relieve some pressure so we don’t act in incorrect ways out of horniness. Mostly, it works quite well. There has been less teen pregnancy. Fewer cases of STDs. Even less drinking and drugs. And, most important, fewer violations of social distancing.

Like everyone, I knew all that. It’s been drilled into us for five years, since this Covid-19 thing started. And what had I done? It wasn’t that I touched Kyle’s penis. It was that I got right next to him.

Well, I got detention for a week. I guess I won’t do that again!