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Accidental Vampire

This post is a bit gruesome, but we published it here because some people enjoy medical scenarios, and it does have a happy ending.

My girlfriend was laying half on the bed, playfully biting my balls. She was very gentle, and we were both having a good time.

Suddenly, she slipped off the bed, and by pure reflex, she bit down as she slipped. That tore my scrotum open. I felt immediate searing pain, but it wasn’t much worse than scraping my knee or something like that.

When I looked down, I was horrified. There was already quite a bit of blood seeping out, and I could see the pinkish-white side of my right testicle through an opening in the skin that appeared to be about an inch long.

My poor girlfriend was more freaked out than I was. It took a while to get her calm enough so she could drive me to the hospital while I stuck a bunch of socks in my underpants to soak up the blood and protect my balls, and get my clothes on.

At the emergency room, it was a bit embarrassing to have to tell the admitting nurse what happened. It didn’t help that she said, “Whaaat?” in an incredulous way, and I had to repeat it in front of a dozen people in the waiting room. Still, I was too scared to be particularly embarrassed. Stuff happens, you know?

Would you believe I had to wait over an hour in the waiting room before I was wheeled in? Right, they thought a wheelchair was necessary. Somehow, being in the wheelchair really freaked me out. Perhaps, until then, I hadn’t realized the severity of my situation. In fact, it wasn’t that severe, but the wheelchair made me think so in the moment.

In a curtained cubicle the emergency room a doctor and a couple of other people, nurses, I assume, hooked me up to monitors, and inserted a catheter in my penis. That kind of stung, but I was relieved that they were taking care of me, so it was almost pleasant in a strange way. In retrospect, I believe they were way overreacting, but perhaps if something had happened where I’d have to be put unconscious, a catheter would have been necessary. The doctor injected my scrotum with about six needles, numbing the area up. The pain wasn’t as severe as you’d think, since I could feel the sting of the needles, which I didn’t much care for. After that, he asked if I wanted to watch, handing me a little mirror.

I totally didn’t want to watch, yet somehow, I did. The first thing he did really freaked me out, as if I wasn’t already in fear hell. He pulled my right testicle out of the torn opening in my scrotum, stretching the spermatic cord a few inches. I felt a tugging sensation in my groin area, and I felt him squeezing my ball. That fucking hurt with an immediate ache. When I yelled, he apologized, and explained that he was checking the integrity of the testicle, to be sure its outer covering hadn’t been damaged.

Seeing my testicle stretched out of my body sickened me. I immediately put down the mirror, and felt like I might puke.

Fortunately, I didn’t throw up, and the sick sensation passed. With the catheter removed, 12 stitches, and a pain prescription, I was sent home.

Oddly, the tear in my scrotum hardly hurt at all. I didn’t take the pain meds. However, peeing for the next three days stung like hell. I’ve decided I never want to be catheterized again.

A week later, the stitches were removed. I thought it would hurt, but it was done without anesthesia, and it didn’t hurt a bit. I was also worried that I’d get an erection in front of the female intern who pulled the stitches, but that didn’t happen. Not in the slightest. There’s nothing that makes a guy less horny than having a scrotum injury!

Two weeks later, I was entirely back to normal except for a long pink scar, which has since reduced to almost nothing.

During the whole time, my girlfriend was so apologetic that I finally had to tell her to stop worrying about it, to stop saying she was sorry, and to understand it was just an accident. Still, she wrote me an IOU: 100 blowjobs, which I accepted with a smile, never intending to enforce the IOU. She has, however, already made good on about a dozen of those blowjobs.

Here’s the final weirdness: When I’m alone, and I think back on the whole thing, It makes me incredibly horny, and I jerk off with a big orgasm remembering that day.

From this angle, you can’t even see the scar.

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